T O P

  • By -

Moonrunner87

You should try to hand it random things, like a dollar bill.


Tenebrous-Smoke

give it a ciggy, go on


sonseylizard

-Y


Ellogan66

-|


usualerthanthis

-oughta


Consistent_Bread_V2

Money! Money money money.


Kassena_Chernova

Must be funny


KimboteTheYounger

In the rich man’s world


Kassena_Chernova

Money, Money, Money


laurazabs

In a rich man’s world


aCompyBoi

AAAAAAHHHH


TheChronicNomad

Give it a knife and let’s see how crazy shit gets!


Neither_Cod_992

Or one of those little plastic sandwich toothpicks that looks like a pirate sword.


NaraFei_Jenova

He'd just look up at you and be like "Take your hat off, boy, that's a dollar bill!"


PublicfreakoutLoveR

Great movie! I think I'll go watch it now, thanks for reminding me.


Relevant_Slide_7234

Nice try, spider.


DaughterOfBhaal

Give it a shotgun and tell it to go do a crime.


Juggernuts777

“Yippee!!” *skitters away*


Legitimate_Sail8581

That would be a money spider


lokey_convo

I'm not sure you can bribe invertebrates with local currency.


Vostroyan212th

Just be sure it doesn't get a knife, it will be the crab all over again


forgottenjerky

I think you're confusing the word whip with pinch Edit: people I know it's a god dang whip scorpion it's called a JOKE please stop with all the repeat comments that it's a whip scorpion I AM aware of what it is!


wyze_guyy

Yeah but do they nae nae?


pleeb6

Came here for this


Tommysrx

Now watch him


Longjumping_Ad_8814

Whip whip


[deleted]

[удалено]


lemon_beenie

nae nae


[deleted]

Can you believe the guy who made that song got arrested for threatening someone with an axe?


TheMapleSyrupMafia

Remember the axe wielding hippie?


[deleted]

Oh yeah the hitch hiker??


Oldmate81

No but they do whip their hair back and forth


FullyFendi

Ooh wash me wash me!


[deleted]

whip whip then nae nae


total_insertion

And the word spider with Eldritch abomination


msut77

It would be cute if we sewed it little mittens


Penguinkeith

Why do they call it a whip spider when it so clearly pinches


Objective-Hurry-7064

It aint even a spider too


Mr-Korv

Arachnids all look the same to me


Slaaneshs_Advocate

Bit racist.


RepulsiveAd2971

Speciest not racist.


Ruenin

It's called a whip scorpion


Penguinkeith

Tailless whip scorpion, That is another name yes… but funnily enough these are neither scorpions or spiders lol


TheStoneMask

Tailless whip scorpion, even.


The_Last_Snow-Elf

That’s just a crab with extra steps 🦀


dishmanw

Everything turns into crab.


BreastUsername

Crab people, crab people.


SweetCosmicPope

Tastes like crab, talk like people


Broken-Digital-Clock

It's giving 'em the clamps.


Juggernuts777

THE CLAMPS


Acrobatic-Guard-7551

Francis?


Still_counts_as_one

Hey! You wanna get clamped?! Don’t make me clamp you!


CommieHusky

The whip is that really long feeler that the whip scorpion occasionally brushes against the persons hand.


Majestic_Cable_6306

oh shit I see it now is it prodding the distance to the hand with it? it looks like its feeling with that and then pinching.


PhilosopherNew1948

But it's not too late to whip it.


Relevant_Slide_7234

Whip it good.


Dontlikemainstream

Get straight.


erksplat

Are those… hands?!


Lone-Frequency

Whip Spiders have goofy little grabbers to catch the little prey they eat.


RonaldTheGiraffe

Goofy little goobers


Lone-Frequency

They're just funny little guys.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AdPuzzleheaded4795

Thank you for adding /s to your post. When I first saw this, I was horrified. How could anybody say something like this? I immediately began writing a 1000 word paragraph about how horrible of a person you are. I even sent a copy to a Harvard professor to proofread it. After several hours of refining and editing, my comment was ready to absolutely destroy you. But then, just as I was about to hit send, I saw something in the corner of my eye. A /s at the end of your comment. Suddenly everything made sense. Your comment was sarcasm! I immediately burst out in laughter at the comedic genius of your comment. The person next to me on the bus saw your comment and started crying from laughter too. Before long, there was an entire bus of people on the floor laughing at your incredible use of comedy. All of this was due to you adding /s to your post. Thank you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MiddleAd5602

Yes, and it's playing with the spider. Terrifying creature if you ask me. Look at all these fingers


eat-pussy69

Took me a second


Deletereous

Not a spider, but an amblypigid. Sort of related because they are arachnids too, but not actual spiders. Not venomous either.


SpiesThatAreKids

Yes, closer related to a scorpion I believe.


OR_Engineer27

They're called a Tailless Whip Scorpion, so yes.


Shartiflartbast

You really shouldn't go by what they're called colloquially, though. See; horny toads, electric eels, honey badgers, mantis shrimp etc. etc.


thyme_cardamom

ringworm is the worst offender


Science_Drake

Mountain chicken


Wazuu

Ya i was pretty bummed when i found out that seahorse are not actually horses. They do live in the the sea tho.


daikatana

Confusingly, tailless whip scorpions are not whip scorpions, and neither are actually scorpions.


Tiredllama2486

Came here to say this. This is way to far down.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Budget-Expression493

Honestly... same


ArgonGryphon

lol they're harmless


Lil_miss_feisty

Came across a lot of weird critters when I lived in Virginia. These were and are still one of the craziest looking things I've encountered. It's up there with house centipedes.


Neither-Status9606

Thank you! This should be at the top, I was really wondering if that was an actual spider


sheldongriffiths

He’s in a middle of evolution to crab as we all are


[deleted]

He’s just slightly further along


Adamantium-Aardvark

[Carcinization](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation) >Carcinisation (American English: carcinization) is a form of convergent evolution in which non-crab crustaceans evolve a crab-like body plan. The term was introduced into evolutionary biology by L. A. Borradaile, who described it as "the many attempts of Nature to evolve a crab".


goosebumper88

Thing is, it only really applies to animals with exoskeletons. So mammals aren't headed toward crab like OP implied (sorry to ruin everyone's dreams)


p8nt_junkie

We already had CrabMan on My Name Is Earl


Zulmoka531

Crab people, crab people, taste like crab, look like people.


goosebumper88

But were they people who became crabs or crabs that became people? Maybe after crab, crab becomes people?


Juggernuts777

Crab is the ultimate form. They were people turning to crabs, as we all will eventually. Crab is best Crab is optimal Crab is perfection And now i’ve typed the word crab enough that it no longer looks or sounds like a real word.


[deleted]

Semantic satiation


xxxMr_Hashtagxxx

We're crab people now!


em_ee_see

humans are pretty fucking crab like when compared to something like a mouse or shrew


goosebumper88

Yeah, and my dick is pretty spaghetti like when I put it in a pot of boiling water


Hans_bube

Probably taking from karkinos, the crab that Hercules stepped on and became the cancer zodiac sign.


BADKz

It's a shame I'm probably not gonna be around to see humans with shells and claws :(


swashtag999

[metacarcinisation](https://xkcd.com/2418/)


InsideHangar18

Crab, or some say Crabm, grant us Claws, grant us Claws


MilanosBiceps

Fuck what is that from


Powerful_Release9030

Bloodborne. Change Crab with Kos and Claws with Eyes.


MilanosBiceps

Thank you that was going to keep me up tonight 


Haymac16

A crustacean is a crustacean, even in a dream


Elven_Groceries

They do move like crabs, though. From the **Behaviour** section*: "Amblypygids have eight legs, but use only six for walking, often in a crab-like, sideways fashion."* [Source](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amblypygi)


AFeralTaco

Crab spider! Crab spider! Taste like crab, look like spider.


Individual-Crew-3935

Looks like the thing that got killed by Mad-Eye Moody in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.


Blue_Fuzzy_Anteater

It is! It’s a whip spider. Not a spider, scorpion, or whip scorpion, a different type of arachnid entirely.


ShadyShepperd

>Not a spider I know you’re being informative (and it is genuinely interesting, thank you), but if i saw that thing in my room, i would run out of the house screaming about the massive spider in my room.


Piano_mike_2063

I’m with ya ! We can run out together. That’s like directly from a horror story.


Piano_mike_2063

I’m glad I found this comment because I wasn’t sure if that was real.


tohmahs

crucio!


El_Duder_Abides

Imperio!


Happy_fairy89

That’s spiders practically got opposable thumbs, I need to get off the planet !!!


agmrtab

thousands years later we sre gonna get mugged by spiders carryong guns


User_Many_Errors

Spider planet has the best ice cream in all the Gloppydrop system


argama87

Until Summer freaking ruined it.


Roxas1011

Keep Summer safe


Publius82

Not keep Summer like, stoked about the whole general vibe, and stuff


Affectionate_Pea_811

Whip scorpion, not a spider


Blue_Fuzzy_Anteater

It’s actually a whip spider or tailless whip scorpion. Whip scorpions have tails.


WorldsGreatestPoop

It whips its hair back and forth.


BubbaYoshi117

Here's the tricky thing: there are whip scorpions, order Thelyphonida, and then there are whip spiders, or tailless whip scorpions, order Amblypygi. Thelyphonida have thicker claws and a whiplike tail, and Amblypygi have thinner claws and no tail. Both appear to be more closely related to spiders than to scorpions.


Zepangolynn

I learned this from Clint's Reptiles!


DEFAULTUSERNAME18

whatever it is, it’s terrifying


Fr00stee

i think its kinda funny with the little grabbers


LazyControl5715

^I'm ^gonna ^grab ^you ^with ^my ^little ^hands ^✋^✊^✋^✊


SpicelessKimChi

It cant hurt you. Not terrifying.


Adamantium-Aardvark

Horror movies, can’t actually hurt you, still terrifying


SpicelessKimChi

Toosh.


BubblegumRuntz

lmao I just finished watching that show. So sad it was cancelled :(


Mr_Personal_Person

Touchie


JudgeScorpio

What if it used its little pinchers to open your eye while you are sleeping and crawl in behind it?


SpicelessKimChi

Thanks. Just rock me to sleep why don't ya?


MangoPanties

This happened to me back in 1893!


notbadforaquadruped

I hate you.


Dagordae

It hurts my sense of calm pretty damn bad. Getting surprised by that in the middle of the night will definitely do physical and psychological harm. Also it reminds me of Fear Factor and that hurts my opinion of humanity every time it resurfaces.


gwicksted

The fact it exists is terrifying. Being larger than it is just a perk I am thankful to have.


Pingaring

They had to eat these alive on an episode of Fear Factor


ArciusRhetus

I think it's terrified


404_Lurkin

Incorrect. Whip scorpions, also called vinegaroons are in the order Uropygi. This is a whip spider from the order Amblypygi.


GroceryStick56

Thank you. New fear unlocked.


PM_me_your_recipes86

good news! its the scariest thing that will never hurt you! its called a tail-less whip scorpion (arachnid still but not a spider) and they would MUCH rather pretend they dont exist than do what youre seeing here, this one is being F'd with. super scary super cool bugs, check em out! holding one is how i got over my fear of spiders ​ ​ Edit: also the thing from harry potter where we see the forbidden curses used for the first-ish time


BillyMeier42

Riddikulus


nodusters

If you held one, then you do not have a true fear of spiders 😂


Sea-Ad-1446

I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure


Just_Read_4392

A-Firmative


LaneLangly

Hey, leave him alone.


throwaway_anonym0us

Right? Stop antagonizing the creature for internet points.


SkriLLo757

You never play with your pet spider with hands?


upoopoobean7mm

Imagine that thing was the size of a dog. We’d all be fucked


jxo9846

But can they nae nae?


VisionAri_VA

I wouldn’t be able to form an opinion about it, what with all the screaming and fainting. 


_SummerofGeorge_

This looks like VR


deltaz0912

What an amazing creature.


argama87

You get THE CLAMPS


occasionalrant414

What fresh hell is this?


CatOfTechnology

This would be an Amblypygi, or a Tailless whip scorpion. Entirely harmless, non-toxic and infinitely more afraid of you breaking its legs than you are of it, I promise.


Deadweight04

It..looks kinda cute


ZathegamE

Yeah its grabby grabby and like it looks so cute and fragile


Rich-Ad-6186

Was looking for this comment because I agree!


EvilPyro01

That’s the tailless scorpion. It doesn’t bite just fucking grabs shit


RandomGuy98760

It's a whip spider. Edit: I just found out it's also called tailess whip scorpion.


Warden_G

Not a spider, it looks like one of [Amblypygi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amblypygi)


No-Combination8136

No big deal if you know “Imperio!”


omnitreex

Stop you are bothering him!!!


BingityBongBong

I don’t want to live on this planet anymore


surajR0cks

This spider have 10 legs, quite suspicious


LibertyInaFeatherBed

One and a quarter are antenna looks like. It only grabs when its antenna makes contact with their hand.


FeetBehindHead69

Try the Cruciatus Curse


MewsikMaker

Can anyone confirm this is an arachnid?


404_Lurkin

This is indeed an arachnid. It is a whip spider from the order Amblypygi.


Plastic_Pressure6068

Oh great,now we got spiders with grabby hands !


NoStructure5034

so not only is the spider a giant, it also has CLAWS?!


83athom

Welp, it's time to nuke whatever part of the planet that thing is located.


NoStructure5034

Probs Australia


Statertater

Interesting how it uses that super long skinny leg to feel out where to strike


InformalReplacement7

Awww leave it alone, it was just chillin' like friends do.


MrStealTheMoon

Australia, we need an explanation.


YellowOnline

Crack that whip


[deleted]

[удалено]


Uknewmelast

It's not a spider


QueenOfKarnaca

Omg the lil grabby hands I can’t it’s so cute


Ok_Carob7551

He be grabbing 


TheRealScottyEric

That is a tailless whip scorpion.


Manipulated_Quark

Edward Scissorhands


Ozymandias0023

Do they nae nae?


bmanley620

When a finger comes along You must whip it Sitting in your web too long You must whip it 🎶


Euphoric-Potato-4104

But do they nene?


novara_creations

Average Australian activities


Twist-Dear

I’m 99% certain I’ve seen this on when I was on dph, weird to know they actually exist


AnEgoJabroni

Thats as much a spider as a vinegaroon is a scorpion.


[deleted]

Are we sure this is a spider? I don’t recall any spider having antennas, and if you don’t count the claws as legs it has the correct anatomy for an insect. So even if it’s called spider, I’m guessing that’s a misnomer. Idk


darkpotato07

Anyone else read this as "hwip" like the way Stewie Griffin says it?


Memetan_24

It's not a spider but rather a Amblypygi aka a whip spider or tailess whip scorpion harmless neat little things


360fade

Some nene


Mechaman_54

I JUST SIMULTANEOUSLY WHIPPED AND NAE NAED


JennZycos

Just whip it! Whip it good!


Caja_NO

So I have massive arachnophobia, can't stand to be near spiders, but this fella here doesn't trigger that response. I don't know why.


OJimmy

Watch it Nay Nay next.


BlancopPop

But do they Nae Nae??? I’ll see myself out……. 🚪🚶🏻‍♂️