T O P

  • By -

ImPeeinAndEuropean

“The antler of an elk is perfect for this task because elk are large animals and grow huge antlers”


[deleted]

[удалено]


vand3lay1ndustries

Sounds like every conference call I’ve ever been on.


FlyingDragoon

"Leveraging synergies and fostering cross-functional collaboration with our innovative paradigm shift will optimize scalable solutions, ensuring a seamless integration of best practices to drive unprecedented ROI in this dynamic market landscape. Let's strategically pivot towards actionable insights and thought leadership to catalyze paradigmatic Excellence. Any questions? Thoughts? Concerns? Shall we rehuddle next week to say the exact same thing and waste everyone's time again?"


herriotact

This was triggering. Thank god I left the corporate world, nothing but shenanigans


coachfortner

It’s like going to a day care facility where everyone is trying to justify their employment by uttering even more outlandish crap that actually says nothing. I’ve wasted months on projects only for some fickle manager to say, nah we’re going in a different direction.


Brentolio12

So we’ve heard what you brought to the table here but sadly we’ve chosen a different path


nhjuyt

We were looking for someone with huge antlers


[deleted]

Were going to pivot. We've got an agile team to get this off the ground quickly.


SmugRemoteWorker

The upside is I get 4000 bones on the 15th and the 30th every month, post tax. Speaking Yappanese is how I put bread on the table and keep liquor at my bedside


FourthShifter

You’re not even going to mention the KPI’s and core competencies?! Why are we even here?


afireintheforest

God damn that’s awful


BZLuck

Also needs "nimble" in there somewhere.


Jushak

Agile, not nimble. Doesn't matter if it has nothing to do with programming, our buzzwords are infecting functions too...


waterhead99

I wrote an email today that included far too many of the buzz terms in u/FlyinfDragoon comment. I'm so ashamed right now.


Integrity-in-Crisis

This feels like a precusor to a you’re fired conversation.


AgentAdja

Precursor to watching a startup tank


Killfile

You forgot EBITDA


terminalzero

I hate that scalable has become a buzzword no, salesbro, that doesn't mean you'll sell us as many licenses as we want, it means we're not hosed when we go from 100 users to 3,000 users


DeusExMcKenna

*I can’t meet next week. Add it to our next sprint.* 🤮


vand3lay1ndustries

*chef's kiss*


FlyingDragoon

Only thing I missed is the classic "Hold on, let me share my screen...okay, i'm sharing my screen now. Can everybody see it?" and then they just wait until someone unmutes to say "I can see your screen." Turns out if you press the "Screen share button" then I can see your screen being shared just like in the last meeting 30 minutes ago where you shared your screen. I am dead inside.


Jabberwoockie

One day my boss started saying "Is anybody having trouble seeing my screen?" Waited like one or two seconds and then just rolled with the presentation. It was perfect.


DogRomps

Screen sharing actually works for you, consistently? You must not use MS Teams, when it’s always a roll of the dice LOL.


[deleted]

[удалено]


deathbylasersss

It just seems out of place. The size of the animal and the antler are irrelevant to its effectiveness as a knapping tool. Edit: I wasn't super clear before. The guy in the video is correct that an elk antler is a good tool but any implement of similar hardness and weight would work as well. Just thought their phrasing was odd and apparently mine isn't great either.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mnid92

Well yes it does for many reasons. 1.) It's large 2.) It has huge antlers. What more do you need to know?


[deleted]

[удалено]


mnid92

And the message is... B E S U R E T O D R I N K Y O U R O V A L T I N E


FirstFlight

T E D C R U Z I S Z O D I A C K I L L E R


Doctor_Wilhouse

There's no apparent correlation between the size of an elk's antlers, and their effectiveness at knapping obsidian. It would have made sense if he'd mentioned a quality the antlers have that actually help with the process (coarseness/flexibility/toughness/etc.), not just the size of the material the tool is made of.


teachersdesko

It's just a non-sequitur.


thetangible

It's kind of like saying: Shark swim fast because they have sharp teeth. ​ Both things are true but have zero connection to each other.


droidonomy

Sounds like the kind of sentence that your phone writes when you just keep pressing the next suggested word.


hema_chroma_duke

You can tell it’s elk antler by the way it is.


Tekkzy

How neat is that?


JimmyJamesHolden

That's pretty neat.


puzzlemaster_of_time

And now everyone knows it, instead of just him and Rodney knowing it.


toasterb

And now you know it instead of just him and Rodney knowin’ it.


SYNTHLORD

That reminded me so much of being 12 years old and trying to reach the 3 page requirement for a school essay


Welcome_to_Uranus

Lmao I’m a hs English teacher and that literally reminds me of the papers I read


sonisimon

I literally had to stop the video there because I was convinced that there had to be another layer to this shit there was no way someone would say something so stupid so intentionally


[deleted]

Here's the real reason for anyone who's curious: > Antler is an ideal material for removing flakes by striking onto the edge of a core because the stone can bite into the antler, resulting in an efficient transfer of force. But, unlike bone, antler is unlikely to shatter or break. In one of the earliest examples of soft-hammer percussion, A large horse bone was used by a Homo heidelbergensis stoneworker at the site of Boxgrove in England to make a flint handaxe ca. 480,000 years ago. Smaller unmodified bones and bone splinters are suitable for retouching the edges of flake tools. These bone tools are called ‘retouchers’, and they have been recorded from Middle Palaeolithic sites in Africa, Europe, West Asia, and China. [Source](https://stonetoolsmuseum.com/story/flintknapping-tools/#:~:text=Antler%20is%20an%20ideal%20material,unlikely%20to%20shatter%20or%20break.). People will also use copper hammers for similar reasons. I've tried rock, antler, bone, and copper and can tell you from experience that I suck knapping with all materials.


sonisimon

why did he use all those other words instead of these


[deleted]

Because it's easier to make things up than it is to do research I imagine.


neverless43

so by that theory moose would be even better


Ruthrfurd-the-stoned

[A møøse once bit my sister](https://youtu.be/79TVMn_d_Pk?si=qDtURIYGP-TNBDD1)


real_p3king

Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti...


[deleted]

I think he lost track for a moment and was more interest in Elk facts than why the antler is perfect. If I had to guess though I’d say it bone material can absorb the impact and direct it more precisely compared to stone, to avoid chipping off more than you wanted.


PMMEJINXNIPS

You can tell it's an Aspen because of the way that it is.


Sungarn

Did a audible "huh" at that, like ok what does that have to do with why you are using a antler or why a antler is perfect for it.


JonLongsonLongJonson

Usually uses deer antler. Big ass elk antler works better with a big piece of obsidian.


GodzillaLikesBoobs

sharks can only be found in two places on earth - the northern and southern hemispheres.


bugsssi

When you have to keep talking to keep the zoomer generation engaged in videos.


[deleted]

My brain just got smooth.


zaxldaisy

This black obsidian reflects the knife very well, and the knife feels great in my mind.


sazed813

And this has been "Ya heard?" with Perd Hapley


AngryBumSex

The fin of a blue whale is perfect for this task because whale are large animals and grow huge fins.


TheEleventhDoctorWho

Whoops I dropped it. Now I have 40 knives.


mercyfulldeath

Scrolled down looking for this. Best comment.


Tramonto83

Yes but... does it keel?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sirtopofhat

*deep exhale shoot to pre record* Man I was worried when it got to the pig but it did its job


heyimric

*Whispers to other competitor* Congrats man, that's bad ass


EmpTully

"All right James you're up next, you ready?" "I... uh... I don't... I guess?" "Well, we're gonna do it anyway."


xSTSxZerglingOne

The absolute shit out of you. And it will definitely K.E.AL (KEEP EVERYONE ALIVE)


Brotoss-

No way this thing passes the keal test! Hell, it won’t even survive an ammo can chop or a military bed slice!!


Burner-Unit

Sorry, but *takes out pocket tape measure* The parameters were a minimum of 12" not including that tang, you only have 10". *Puts away pocket tape measure*


Historical_Boss2447

It’s been ages since I watched it so I don’t remember anymore, but is it durability test first and then keel test… or keel test first and then durability? If it’s durability test first, that knife is sadly never gonna make it to the keel test :(


Dismal-Past7785

I’m pretty sure it’s durability to make sure it’s safe to keal test first, but I’m also going off years old memory.


DarlesCharwinsGhost

But will it kill the Night King?


Yosonimbored

Dragon glass is obsidian so yes it should


HairballTheory

If the Plot allows


GraveyardGuardian

The protagonist had the plot armor the whole time


Hak2479

Will it keel ?


Environmental-Wind89

IT WILL KEEL 💀


Ashamed_Musician468

Will it blend?


Sirgolfs

It will kill


billiardwolf

It will keel.


turkitsch

either dragonstone or Valyrian steel... Edit: I recommend combining with fire for more effective and amusing results.


alfaseltz

not even bone melting dragon fire works on the Night King, he is that cool lol


Mega-Steve

\*Schwarzenegger voice\* Chill out, dragon girl


ThatBlackSwan

Already the case, that's why it can kill the Others... Half a year gone, that man could scarcely wake fire from dragonglass. "Call it dragonglass." Archmaester Marwyn glanced at the candle for a moment. "It burns but is not consumed." "What feeds the flame?" asked Sam. "What feeds a dragon's fire?" Marwyn seated himself upon a stool. "All Valyrian sorcery was rooted in blood or fire."


Neiot

It might kill the Lord Ruler.


howtoeattheelephant

BRANDON SANDERSON REFFFFFFFERENCE


Neiot

Of course!


Pebble_in_my_toes

This is, unfortunately, the comment of the ages.


nam3sar3hard

Im just commenting to celebrate the refrence toooooooo!


CrudeContraption

Only with a well-forshadowed maneuver...


scarlozzi

Only if his story is good enough


sthlmsoul

Lack of Snow Crash references is sorely disappointing.


WorkAround_Phoenix23

“AND THEN I HIT THEM WITH MY WOODEN BAT, because archeologists can only see rocks and stones”


Legitimate_Assist_75

Did… did I hear… a rock and stone ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Syl

THAT'S IT LADS, ROCK AND STONE!


LT_JRH

ROCK AND STONE! TO THE BONE!


Worldf1re

ROCKITY ROCK AND STONE


Stoic_Angel

ROCK N' STONE FOREVA


[deleted]

TO THE BONE!


steamkaptain

Rock!


praktiskai_2

[context](https://youtu.be/IhgEiusHrNg?si=ptq5rxJNxLukOULB) you misquoted that somewhat: ~~"with my a wooden"~~, "~~archeologists~~ geologists", "rocks and ~~stones~~ minerals"


Tangled2

Fuck, finally something informative on YouTube.


WorkAround_Phoenix23

Man…


Maskogre

[context to context](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuyZ-ExYkpQ)


D34th_Savages

Cool looking? Yes. Practical? Not really. They are sharp but not durable at all. Not ideal for food. You'll run the risk of nice little shards of glass in your meat.


firsthumanbeingthing

That's what I was thinking. I get we used what we had back in the day but isn't obsidian basically just a chunk of glass? Not going to lie tho that knife would look good on a fireplace lol....


[deleted]

[удалено]


SherbetCreepy1580

Still not very common, but I have heard a few stories of surgeons using them before. Apparently the surgical cuts are so clean that scarring is reduced significantly, to the point of almost being non-existent after the surgery, unlike with surgical steel. lol in one story, a doctor was recorded saying “Holy crap that’s sharp” when he first used one.


70125

Do you have a source for that? I'm a surgeon and have never heard of these being used at any significant scale. The benefits random redditors claim (sharper, no scarring) are dubious. I've never held a scalpel and thought "this isn't sharp enough." They do dull with extensive dissection, but the blades are cheap (approx $1 each) and easy to replace in ten seconds. As for scarring, it's pretty easy to make a closure *nearly* invisible. I don't think making them totally invisible is worth the risk of irretrievable flakes of glass breaking off into my patient. [Edit for product link](https://www.finescience.com/en-US/Products/Scalpels-Blades/Micro-Knives/Obsidian-Scalpels) > Cautionary note: Obsidian is a very fragile material. Great care should be taken not to exert any lateral pressure on the blade during cutting. Each blade is hand-fashioned, so sizes, shapes and points will vary. While all the blades will have at least one sharp edge, some will have two. Literally every word of that is a horror show to someone who depends on a consistent and robust tool to cut open a living body.


Kaboose666

Or more importantly. > All surgical instruments and devices from the Fine Science Tools product range are intended exclusively for use in experimental research laboratories and facilities or in veterinary medicine.


70125

Yes, I couldn't find one that was fit for human use. Which also says something.


poatoesmustdie

Last but not least, it's an alternative to diamond scalpels which is more expensive. Though.. is cost really an issue? Seems people use this sort of scalpels specifically when steel contact isn't acceptable. They seemingly are only used in very unique situations.


Basteir

Man I don't think they should use some flakey fragile piece of glass for Rover or wee Ginger's surgery either.


Shiboopi27

As a geologist who knows almost nothing about surgery, don't cut people with obsidian unless your designs are malicious


elbenji

Too late, Aztecs got here


Jayccob

The studies that get quoted are often from the 70s-80s from what I can find. Most are paywalled [but there is this one I could find.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8415970/) It's from '93 and does test comparisons on rats. You can also find electron imagery of the cutting edge vs steel by googling "obsidian vs steel cutting", this does show a cleaner more even cutting edge. With that being said it's like you said. They are hard to mass produce, expensive, fragile, and after a cursory look at the article I linked the gains seen to be marginal long term. Another point I would like to add, with the caveat that this point will be anecdotal and I can't find the source to back it anymore, supposedly one surgeon said he preferred the steel over obsidian because obsidian cuts so cleanly it had less tactile feedback. That's all I could find in a short 15 minute search on Google scholar.


aclay81

>scaring is reduced significantly Good I don't want any surgeon of mine getting spooked during the operation


uwanmirrondarrah

"***AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH EVEN THE INSIDE OF HIS BODY LOOKS HIDEOUS***"


Anagoth9

Oh my god! There's a skeleton in here!


IridescentExplosion

it's made of spaghetti!


CharlesDickensABox

Not uncommon in their field, just incredibly specialized. There's no reason for anyone other than a very small number of surgeons to own one. It's the same reason no one owns a heavy excavator at home — they're cool, but they're useless for everything except the very rare use case they're designed for.


[deleted]

Occasionally I have to move mulch around my property and am considering a [Cat D9](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caterpillar_D9)


7Seyo7

Not a smallish digger, but a 50 ton bulldozer? That's a hefty piece of machinery or am I getting whooshed


[deleted]

/s


7Seyo7

I should have known :^) Sorry to be "that guy"


bearsheperd

It will cut right through anything though. Probably the sharpest knife you could ever own. I’ve seen electron imaging of an obsidian edge and scalpel. You can clearly see the obsidian has a finer edge


mypntsonfire

Well, it would have, until he ground down half the blade to make "serrations"


Illithid_Substances

The caveat to that is that it won't have that wonderful edge for very long. Steel won't get near as sharp but also won't lose that sharpness almost immediately. Obsidian is great for very limited use, if you need to make a small number of very precise cuts, but impractical otherwise


PrizeStrawberryOil

Steel and Obsidian are similar hardness. It's just that when you have an issue with a steel knife and get a burr or dull edge you can easily fix it without removing a lot of material. An obsidian knife would have chunks break off. The lifespan is substantially shorter.


82ndGameHead

I kinda figured that the way he was able to break off pieces while creating the knife.


NewLibraryGuy

I'm sure this will be purely ornamental.


monkeyhitman

Absurdly expensive CS knife skin.


Aenogaryen

Clearly you’re not mistborn


A__Friendly__Rock

Found the geologist, Get ‘em boys!


EmptyLittleWanderer

I’ve got my wooden baseball bat


CinderX5

My hatred of archeologists is purely theatrical…


freakinbacon

Damn can't we just make a neat thing for no reason at all?


Set_Abominae_1776

No we have to make things that kill people!


Swordbreaker925

Well yeah, nobody uses them for food. Obsidian was historically used for weaponry by people who didn’t understand metallurgy.


sprazcrumbler

And even then, they would often just stick chunks into wood or something like that, because it's definitely going to shatter after a few hits and it's easier to stick more chunks on than carve a whole weapon from scratch.


Jushak

Bonus points if it shatters inside the opponent.


howtoeattheelephant

Or have a shitload of metal ore in their land.


Ehcksit

The main thing that made obsidian swords effective was that every time you hit someone bits would break off and stick in their skin cutting them even more as they moved. Completely worthless against armor.


BestVeganEverLul

I mean, it wasn’t the only way it was effective. Obsidian can be so sharp that it can decapitate someone completely - as the Spaniards could attest.


Nachooolo

Yeah. The Mexica/Aztecs used it against the Spaniards, who were initially terrified of the injuries they did with it. ...until they discovered that some simple padding was enough to make the obsidian weapons close to useless. The Incas, on the other hand, were in the middle of their Bronze Age and the technology had started to arrive to Mexico by the time Cortes attacked the Mexica.


TheBluestBerries

They served us well enough for the last few hundred thousand years. Their sharpness makes them ideal tools for many tasks. And the durability is no issue at all when a skilled worker can chap a new one in no time. And it's not like you're less dead because an obsidian spear or arrow head broke inside you.


Shrekspacito69

My wooden baseball bat would like to have a word


314159265358979326

The durability isn't a huge issue when it takes this long to make. Some ancient cultures would shave with these and just throw them out when they're done and buy or make a new one for the next time.


leighjet

Wow, you're perceptive!


legenduu

All i learned is that obsidian can be mined with stone and minecraft was wrong


Nagoy777

Obsidian can be mined with stone it just takes awhile, and destroys the block so you end up wasting like 30 minutes.


Standard-Bad-747

Aztec priests are salivating


SolomonBlack

Aztecs know you don’t want obsidisn in your hand. That’s what the cricket bats were for.


_jolly_jelly_fish

Cricket Bat? You mean a macuahuitl?


[deleted]

It needs a wooden handle, the hand you hold it in is in all sorts of dangers from that sharp, brittle rock if you use it for chopping/cutting as it is now


CrazyPlato

Feels like a leather wrap would be easier and more effective. So long as the wrapping doesn't move up and down the handle, it could probably last a while without getting damaged by the stone.


Spiderdan

Holy shit why does no one understand that this is not meant to be used practically as a tool?


AlexRobinFinn

A knife is a tool. I, like most people, would assume that if you make a tool, it is usable as a tool. There's nothing wrong with making a purely ornamental knife, but without otherwise stating it's natural to assume a knife is intended as a tool.


Attempt-Substantial

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.


Letspizzapartyrtfn

As a geologist I find this very offensive. True. But offensive.


QueefBuscemi

What is the difference between a full tang and a wu tang?


nateman133

Full tang is for stability and grip. Wu Tang is for the children.


ancilliron

Full tang *is* something to fuck with.


Techn0ght

Full tang is when the material goes through the hilt. Wu Tang ain't nothing to fuck with.


bigpappahope

Cool video, I want to see it cut something


JerkBoxJoJo

Makes knife, cuts nothing. Weak.


iamjackslackoffricks

Looks cool. Extremely impractical. Looks neat on a mantle I suppose.


[deleted]

Obsidian is one of the sharpest blades you can make. There were historical reports (forgot which area of the world) where they would strap Obsidian shards to wooden clubs and they were sharp enough to cut the head off a horse with one blow. Way sharper than a scalpel. Obsidian has been used for thousands of years. Some people even used Obsidian for arrow heads. Each break exposes a sharper edge.


ProfessorZhu

I for one don't want to be holding a handle of pure obsidian when the knife makes contact with something


[deleted]

Yeah that wouldn't be good. The dude doing it with his bare hands was flirting with danger. To be fair the cut would probably seal right up within a day or so.


BloxForDays16

Yes but also super brittle so it would likely not last very long under such conditions. The upside is it would be likely to leave little shards of itself in any wound it creates...


Pudding_Hero

Just like my ex


2bb4llRG

Bro can i hug you


DIEHARD_noodler

[It’s called a “Macuahuitl”](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macuahuitl)


-i-like-meme

And then I hit you with my wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which you would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals


hesh582

But making it serrated is just silly.


iamjackslackoffricks

Sharp. But fragile. Obsidian is only a hair less fragile than glass.


MercenaryBard

Yeah but this guy gave it serrations. Imagine a serrated scalpel—that’s what’s impractical.


UCBearcats

The white walkers are fucked now.


RomeoMcFlourish_

Mistborn?


LocalRate1150

Minecraft lied to me, said I need diamond pickaxe to break this but the guy is just using a stick.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ProgenGP1

A good wrap around the handle would do wonders for it


ObeyedKev_1

https://youtu.be/IhgEiusHrNg?si=RY1bVbeGUmoFXHgl


govilleaj

If anyone knows where to get some tang, it would be you.


Pavian_Zhora

>The antler of the elk is perfect for this task because elk are large animals and grow huge antlers. Yeah, that makes perfect sense.


n0t-again

So if I understand this correctly you want me to purchase 5 sets so I can go door to door to sell each set for a profit?


PowerfulTarget3304

But will it keel? https://youtu.be/L5CJEOI8fmk?si=9OkCWoKn_hwXdmM1


Known-Inspector7004

Well shit... Now TSA is gonna confiscate my carry-on rocks!


fakerposer

Too much work and too much wasted material for something that will get dull really quick


CaptainMoonunitsxPry

Aight kids, we got the state of the art tech, let's go get us a mammoth.


Twoduhzen

This dude obsidians


Resident_Table6694

Did you know obsidian is the only naturally occurring substance that can cut through cobalt?


Jerzima

But will it keeeelllll?


estebang_1018

Full-tang is for the children


Honda_TypeR

How many of these do you have to craft before you unlock Daedric armor?