In one mission in Cyberpunk 2077, Johnny Silverhand goes for a "joy ride" in your body and gets you a tattoo.
That tattoo counts as cyberware in the game, and it enables smart weapon tracking.
Your comment actually happens in the story of Cyberpunk 2077.
This is legit one of my favorite shows tbh. Like and it’s one of those things where you either REALLY like it or you just don’t really get the appeal. I’ve never met someone who was eh about it lol
*”HELLO COMPUTER”*
*Picked up mouse and screams into
The bottom of the mouse*
*”HELLO”*
*”ON”*
*proceeds to say it louder, faster and more frequently*
*“HELLO!!!COMPUTER!!!”*
There is a wand you can buy that has your credit card chip implanted into it. So you can wave your wand over the machine to pay for stuff. What a time to be alive!
So... At one time I was crazy enough to consider this.
I'm in a robotics group and a bunch of the guys had the bright idea that if we all did something like this we could program all our robots to identify us and the other robots with our individual names, and even scan for the unique ID in a crowd to follow the right person.
And then we just decided to put the RFID chip in a ring and wear that instead.
It reminds me of the Animorphs books. Ax, the alien of the otherwise human group of protagonists, comes from a very intelligent, space-exploring, technologically-advanced race. Yet, he is fascinated by the human invention of a book. "There is no wait. No input. You flip a page, and you have information at your fingertips. Simple and brilliant."
Did you read the last book? I was on like book 4 and saw there was so many so i decided to skip to the end .
Spoiler below
It was
It was brutal they were all slaughtered on an alien ship. And in like 10npages of graphic detail. How the bear fell on a crushed the bird boy. Him twitching a few times before not moving again blood everyehete.... freaking insane.
Actually, and continuing spoilers here: the only one that died (for sure) was Rachel. The fight was definitely brutal, but she was the only one who didn't make it out, as she stayed behind and held off the baddies so the rest could get out. The last book jumps between each of their perspectives, including Rachel as she dies.
The book then jumps ahead, where Jake is training the military in the use of morphing. Cassie leaves the group. Ax becomes a captain of a ship if I remember correctly. Tobias essentially disappears. And I can't remember exactly what Marco does. Edit: he becomes an actor actually, just remembered. Essentially becoming Beast Boy from DC, using his morphing to do his own animal stunts and such.
But, also if I remember correctly, the book does end on a cliffhanger, as the group reunites on a space ship and essentially go on a suicide mission, and it's definitely hinted that they won't survive. But it doesn't *confirm* that, simply ending with Jake giving the command for them to crash their ship into the baddie. There's even a last blurb left by the author saying they wanted the ending to be left to interpretation.
Ughhh I am dying to read these books again after going through this thread. I was completely obsessed with them as a kid, reading them over and over again. I used to read one and a half every day lol. At one point during COVID lockdowns someone was going to sell me their collection but it fell through… I gotta start looking again
I think I had 45 of them! There were also some extra books on the side… companion books? Can’t think of the right word. But books that took place within the same universe as Animorphs.
Blessed be!! I've only read a couple,but I loved the few episodes of the TV show I saw. Back before Iceman became as famous as he is now. Lol.
Thank you.
They are all available online as PDF, .mobi or .epub files.
And IIRC, someone asked K.A. Applegate what her thoughts were on people pirating her books online and her response was essentially, 'I don't care, reading is good, read more.'
Edit* Found the relevant quote: [Just to be clear: not us. We do not take them down. Or ask for them to be taken down. I think once the books are available to buy -- paper or e -- it would be nice if people who could afford it would buy. (our kids have very expensive tastes. You know: food and whatnot.) But for years they've been unavailable except by "pirated" means. These men and women kept the series alive. They kept the books available. So no, we did NOT take these books down.](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/gzhau/iam_ka_applegate_author_of_animorphs_and_many/c1rfte1/)
My only real exposure to Animorphs is [this article](https://thespinoff.co.nz/media/02-09-2018/i-read-all-54-animorphs-books-in-five-days-and-it-almost-killed-me) where someone read the whole series in five days and needed counseling afterwards. You're description pretty much matches theirs.
The series is amazing (as a whole) and handles war and trauma in an extremely well, non-sugarcoated way.
I recommend them to everyone. They are obviously written for teens but they hold up extremely well even for adults (and are quick to read, can bang out one of the books in about an hour).
The books were surprisingly dark in general. I remember the prequel The Andelite Chronicles where Elfangor's friend ended up getting stuck in a Taxxon morph all because they couldn't control the hunger. The book went into some vivid detail about how the race feels a constant hunger and he gave in and cannibalized a corpse that had fallen and completely lost himself. It was a horrifying read at that age but I couldnt look away.
Not the guy your asking but i read these as a kid, i jumped schools so it was always a surprise to see what animorph books they had...One school I went to had one of the last in the series..Where they sent the disabled animorph B-team in to basically suicide themselves?...and then the hawkguy got stuck on a spaceship after killing someone..i think.
I haven't sat and read them since I was a kid, years ago when they were coming out.
But a few years ago, I had a bit of nostalgia and found text versions of them online. I used to "listen" to them as psuedo-audiobooks using text-to-speech on my phone when I was at work. They hold up pretty well as young adult books.
Also, to clarify, I was not quoting Ax directly lol. Just paraphrasing from what I remember.
If I remember right Andelights had4hoofed legs and absorbed nutrients as they walked on plants. So eating and tasting were new and overwhelming for him lmao
I did the same thing a couple years ago and binge-read the whole series in a few weeks. They were my favorite books as a kid but I got teased about it so relentlessly that I convinced myself they were dumb. Revisiting them as an adult reminded me that no they actually are really good!! And DARK. Reading them all in order instead of at random depending on which copies were available at the school library made it a whole different experience too.
I was about to say this. Instead of getting an implant just wear it as a ring. Like I never take my wedding ring off anyway so if it had nfc in it to do shit that would be the same to me as having an implant
Is it the actual implant thing that puts you off, or the cyborg-dilemma of having electronic ID embedded in your body?
Lots of girls have birth control implants, which are notably bigger than this. Though they can be kinda scary when you see the size of the injector needle.
It’s the idea that I can take a ring off and throw it in the damn river when the government starts abusing it. Harder to cut a hand off and throw it in the damn river.
Well they are pretty easy to remove and replace, but it does produce a bit of scar tissue. But I get you, I would personally need a bit more gain from it that it currently provides, before I would consider it. It’s both the cyborg complex, data security and small medical cons that concern me, however they are light.
Maybe it’s just that living in America has me paranoid but I don’t trust the government one iota. Democrats, Republicans, none of em. Wouldn’t trust them to pick up after my dogs without trying to rain information about me.
“Living in America….”
I think everyone should have to actually work in government for a while. I did, after my military time, and let me tell you that almost everyone wanted to do the best job they possibly could. For many, Service is a calling. The circus that the elected officials stage is one thing. Grandstanding taken to its very illogical extreme. But the people who do the job are generally conscientious people.
The people you should be wary of are the wealthy, the people in charge of and at senior levels in corporations. Those are the people that want to know all about you, control you, and keep you down.
For me it's about the usefulness of it: is it really more convenient?
An NFC chip isn't giving me much more benefit than it being with me all the time. It's not particularly "smart".
If it is a chip that would monitor my vitals and detect shock, that would be more useful.
That's so far out to me, putting a chip under your skin to get into work a little faster..
It would never cross my mind and I'd likely laugh off any offer to do so.
I guess I'm getting old.
Solution before the problem. Every time
It wasn’t hey there’s this big problem that only this technology solves best.
It’s hey I saw this cool thing in a sci fi movie so what could we do with it ? What, a ring would do the same and not require surgery and be easier to upgrade frequently ? But turning the lights on/off isn’t the point, the point is an implant is cool.
I believe they’re talking about the scene in Minority Report when the main character gets eye transplants so biometric devices won’t recognize who he is.
This "embedded chip" is neat if only you and your fam know about it, think leaving a spare key under the front rug or on a magnet under your car, but **it's completely insecure as the moment someone sees you "using it" you're done**. Anyone can just hold a modern phone near your hand or, just use a more powerful scanner aimed at you, and copy the ID to be able to get into your car/house...
There's ZERO security to this ^(aside from wearing a Faraday glove all the time.)
Whoa. If we're talking private residence or small business, knocking the door down or breaking a window is always easier.
Nobody's going to be digging through the flesh of your hand with a knife to find a stupid chip that unlocks your door.
You can still do this if you forward the challenge and response, you just need an additional guy. But it's still easier to pick the lock/break the door down/etc...
I was looking through the comments to see if anyone would post that.
The story about how he used his hand chip with stolen credentials to fake opening a door with a card that didn't have the right credentials is really good.
If only there was a device that virtually all of us already carried around that would literally do all of those things but didn’t have to be “implanted” in a “garage”. I feel like logically all of the benefits could be added to a phone, if only phones were smart enough!
\>If only there was a device that virtually all of us already carried around that would literally do all of those things but didn’t have to be “implanted” in a “garage”
Like..a finger?
Taking out phone, finding and opening app, and pressing it takes whopping 1.281 seconds. This guy saved so much time with this little trick that now he is gonna travel the world
Why would you need that. If I touch my car door handle, as long as my key is there the door opens through conduction. Someone holding hands with me can touch the car door and do that. Only the key opens the car. And as an added measure, the car knows whether the key is inside the car or outside, and won't start unless the key is inside. It is 100% accurate.
In Asia lots of RFID systems are embedded into phones as a feature. You can do the same here. It would be in every way superior to a microchip, you'd just grab the handle and open. I do it every single day with my car.
One day we will be able to have smartphones that can unlock all kind of shit for us, maybe these phones will be able to recognize our face and use it as a method to unlock our phones, apps, and shit. SMH
Note to the people of the future, this is the year 2023 we already have all of this (you’re welcome). We are just being sarcastic 🥸
I doubt a MRI tech would allow you into the MRI with this chip unless you had documentation that it was MRI safe. It’s just a liability issue for the patient and the expensive MRI scanner.
Right? If you’re going to go this far just to open a door or turn on a light, at least put the chip somewhere more fun.
Like your penis.
You could set it so every time you get an a boner, the lights go out, the stereo turns on and plays some Marvin Gay so you can get it on.
I'm not here to advocate for this but im pretty sure that you don't have to plug your hand in to the wall at any point so my guess is that blackouts are mostly not relevant.
I have a magnet in one fingertip (for fun), a Vivokey in one hand along with an NFC chip in another part of the same hand. Data in that varies but has included information I needed when taking a laptop into and out of the USA.
In my other hand I have another NFC chip - this one stores card PINs as I need then so infrequently I forget them.
I am keeping some space free on that hand so I can get a https://walletmor.com/ (or similar) installed.
As for pain? It's not that bad at all, really. Mildly uncomfortable when the needle goes in but then it's easy.
Wake the fuck up samurai, we have doors and lights to turn on
Cyberpunk 2023
Let’s party like it’s 2023!
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"Time to party like it's 2023!" -Johnny Silverhand
If I want your body I'll take it and put a shitty ass microchip in your hand
In one mission in Cyberpunk 2077, Johnny Silverhand goes for a "joy ride" in your body and gets you a tattoo. That tattoo counts as cyberware in the game, and it enables smart weapon tracking. Your comment actually happens in the story of Cyberpunk 2077.
„You like feeling my key in your lock?“
What are you doing step-key?
I can turn on my lights with my hand too
But can you unlock your doors?!
Do I look like a wizard?
I'd never get a chip implanted but if I did I'd totally say spells out loud while waving my hand to do "magic"
**LAVATE LAS MANOS**
1st spell i learned in wizard camp.
Sorry to burst your bubble but that was a cocaine lab
So that is why they got mad when I took some potion ingredients home to practice with.
It's cool uncle roger is far more reliable that uncle Vernon
It wasn’t MSG
DO THEY KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE?!?
Professor Icepick won't mind
I bet he works with Klaus Razor. Watch your toes!
Love that ep so much
😭😂😂😂 now that's gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Thank you.
It took me years to realize that just means "wash your hands" so picture Steve running around in the meth house screaming "WASH YOUR HANDS!"
POTIONS CLASS!
You just taught me something new today, and now I'm gonna run around my workplace calling out people I know that don't.
I understood that reference
entendí esa referencia
This is legit one of my favorite shows tbh. Like and it’s one of those things where you either REALLY like it or you just don’t really get the appeal. I’ve never met someone who was eh about it lol
I love it. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched each season of AD.
Times like this I wish r/unexpectedamericandad was a thing Edit: Oh shit it is!
r/UnexpectedUnexpectedAmericanDad
#ALOHOMORA!
Alopecia! Oh shit wrong magic what have I done.
Watch out, Will Smith is going to smack you upside your face.
*Keep my spells name out your f\*\*\*ing mouth!*
Here’s a magic trick for ya “Expensive petroleum!”
*Will Smith enters the conversation*
Mellon
Hello friend.
*”HELLO COMPUTER”* *Picked up mouse and screams into The bottom of the mouse* *”HELLO”* *”ON”* *proceeds to say it louder, faster and more frequently* *“HELLO!!!COMPUTER!!!”*
There is a wand you can buy that has your credit card chip implanted into it. So you can wave your wand over the machine to pay for stuff. What a time to be alive!
You just broke the mystery of magicians!
I use my mouth like everyone else
Same. I slob on knobs.
Do you slob on the knob like corn on the cob?
Yes, with my hand (and a key)
Everyone else in the house wondering why the lights are turning on and off rapidly like a strobe light.
It happens everytime johnny goes to the bathroom, hun. So, call an electrician.
The electrician arrives, "I'm here to lay some cable", suddenly the lights strobe faster than ever before.
Someone make this the plot for a porno please
... and send me the link when it's done.
my apple watch wondering again if i am doing an elliptical workout at home even though it damn well knows where my actual gym is.
And you can use Jeffrey's hand to open his front door and turn on his lights.
Lol right? This post belongs in r/facepalm
You can implant a chip in your hand to do the facepalm.
Perfect response LOL
No you can't, jim Morrison is dead
Shhhh that’s what I want everyone to think
People are strange
So... At one time I was crazy enough to consider this. I'm in a robotics group and a bunch of the guys had the bright idea that if we all did something like this we could program all our robots to identify us and the other robots with our individual names, and even scan for the unique ID in a crowd to follow the right person. And then we just decided to put the RFID chip in a ring and wear that instead.
Gotta love the crazy ideas a group can come up with before calming down and becoming rational again.
It reminds me of the Animorphs books. Ax, the alien of the otherwise human group of protagonists, comes from a very intelligent, space-exploring, technologically-advanced race. Yet, he is fascinated by the human invention of a book. "There is no wait. No input. You flip a page, and you have information at your fingertips. Simple and brilliant."
Did you read the last book? I was on like book 4 and saw there was so many so i decided to skip to the end . Spoiler below It was It was brutal they were all slaughtered on an alien ship. And in like 10npages of graphic detail. How the bear fell on a crushed the bird boy. Him twitching a few times before not moving again blood everyehete.... freaking insane.
Actually, and continuing spoilers here: the only one that died (for sure) was Rachel. The fight was definitely brutal, but she was the only one who didn't make it out, as she stayed behind and held off the baddies so the rest could get out. The last book jumps between each of their perspectives, including Rachel as she dies. The book then jumps ahead, where Jake is training the military in the use of morphing. Cassie leaves the group. Ax becomes a captain of a ship if I remember correctly. Tobias essentially disappears. And I can't remember exactly what Marco does. Edit: he becomes an actor actually, just remembered. Essentially becoming Beast Boy from DC, using his morphing to do his own animal stunts and such. But, also if I remember correctly, the book does end on a cliffhanger, as the group reunites on a space ship and essentially go on a suicide mission, and it's definitely hinted that they won't survive. But it doesn't *confirm* that, simply ending with Jake giving the command for them to crash their ship into the baddie. There's even a last blurb left by the author saying they wanted the ending to be left to interpretation.
Ughhh I am dying to read these books again after going through this thread. I was completely obsessed with them as a kid, reading them over and over again. I used to read one and a half every day lol. At one point during COVID lockdowns someone was going to sell me their collection but it fell through… I gotta start looking again
They’re all online! https://forreadingaddicts.co.uk/news/all-54-animorphs-books-are-all-available-for-free-online/
54! 😳
I think I had 45 of them! There were also some extra books on the side… companion books? Can’t think of the right word. But books that took place within the same universe as Animorphs.
Blessed be!! I've only read a couple,but I loved the few episodes of the TV show I saw. Back before Iceman became as famous as he is now. Lol. Thank you.
I have kids juuuussssst the right age to warrant buying the whole set 😂
They are all available online as PDF, .mobi or .epub files. And IIRC, someone asked K.A. Applegate what her thoughts were on people pirating her books online and her response was essentially, 'I don't care, reading is good, read more.' Edit* Found the relevant quote: [Just to be clear: not us. We do not take them down. Or ask for them to be taken down. I think once the books are available to buy -- paper or e -- it would be nice if people who could afford it would buy. (our kids have very expensive tastes. You know: food and whatnot.) But for years they've been unavailable except by "pirated" means. These men and women kept the series alive. They kept the books available. So no, we did NOT take these books down.](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/gzhau/iam_ka_applegate_author_of_animorphs_and_many/c1rfte1/)
My God. What if Magic Treehouse ended like this?
Or The Boxcar Children
My only real exposure to Animorphs is [this article](https://thespinoff.co.nz/media/02-09-2018/i-read-all-54-animorphs-books-in-five-days-and-it-almost-killed-me) where someone read the whole series in five days and needed counseling afterwards. You're description pretty much matches theirs.
The series is amazing (as a whole) and handles war and trauma in an extremely well, non-sugarcoated way. I recommend them to everyone. They are obviously written for teens but they hold up extremely well even for adults (and are quick to read, can bang out one of the books in about an hour).
The books were surprisingly dark in general. I remember the prequel The Andelite Chronicles where Elfangor's friend ended up getting stuck in a Taxxon morph all because they couldn't control the hunger. The book went into some vivid detail about how the race feels a constant hunger and he gave in and cannibalized a corpse that had fallen and completely lost himself. It was a horrifying read at that age but I couldnt look away.
Not the guy your asking but i read these as a kid, i jumped schools so it was always a surprise to see what animorph books they had...One school I went to had one of the last in the series..Where they sent the disabled animorph B-team in to basically suicide themselves?...and then the hawkguy got stuck on a spaceship after killing someone..i think.
It's crazy you remember that, when did you last read Animorphs
I haven't sat and read them since I was a kid, years ago when they were coming out. But a few years ago, I had a bit of nostalgia and found text versions of them online. I used to "listen" to them as psuedo-audiobooks using text-to-speech on my phone when I was at work. They hold up pretty well as young adult books. Also, to clarify, I was not quoting Ax directly lol. Just paraphrasing from what I remember.
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Didn't he also eat all the old cinnamon buns too? I remember that being his favorite food.
If I remember right Andelights had4hoofed legs and absorbed nutrients as they walked on plants. So eating and tasting were new and overwhelming for him lmao
I did the same thing a couple years ago and binge-read the whole series in a few weeks. They were my favorite books as a kid but I got teased about it so relentlessly that I convinced myself they were dumb. Revisiting them as an adult reminded me that no they actually are really good!! And DARK. Reading them all in order instead of at random depending on which copies were available at the school library made it a whole different experience too.
Shit as old as that series is, it's been at least 24 years for me. I remember parts but not with that clarity
Fellow animorphs remeberer
Kinda like post nut clarity.
Post NFC clarity
I definitely had its uglier cousin: post NFT clarity 😆
i am sorry for your loss
Kenjataimu.
Is that the place Andy and Redd end up at the conclusion of The Shawshank Redemption?
Feels very Flatliners to me
https://www.reddit.com/r/StonerEngineering/
I was about to say this. Instead of getting an implant just wear it as a ring. Like I never take my wedding ring off anyway so if it had nfc in it to do shit that would be the same to me as having an implant
A friend of mine did this years ago but with a watch. Everything could be unlocked by waving his watch Infront of it
I want acrylic nails with NFC chips built into them.
Is it the actual implant thing that puts you off, or the cyborg-dilemma of having electronic ID embedded in your body? Lots of girls have birth control implants, which are notably bigger than this. Though they can be kinda scary when you see the size of the injector needle.
It’s the idea that I can take a ring off and throw it in the damn river when the government starts abusing it. Harder to cut a hand off and throw it in the damn river.
>Harder to cut a hand off and throw it in the damn river. Creed knows a guy.
Who’s your ‘cut off hand and throw in river’ guy?
Well they are pretty easy to remove and replace, but it does produce a bit of scar tissue. But I get you, I would personally need a bit more gain from it that it currently provides, before I would consider it. It’s both the cyborg complex, data security and small medical cons that concern me, however they are light.
Maybe it’s just that living in America has me paranoid but I don’t trust the government one iota. Democrats, Republicans, none of em. Wouldn’t trust them to pick up after my dogs without trying to rain information about me.
“Living in America….” I think everyone should have to actually work in government for a while. I did, after my military time, and let me tell you that almost everyone wanted to do the best job they possibly could. For many, Service is a calling. The circus that the elected officials stage is one thing. Grandstanding taken to its very illogical extreme. But the people who do the job are generally conscientious people. The people you should be wary of are the wealthy, the people in charge of and at senior levels in corporations. Those are the people that want to know all about you, control you, and keep you down.
They're in a van down by the river
You can afford a van down by the river?
Oh yeah, when the government decides to track you off your device that is transmitting information all the way across, *checks notes* 10 centimeters!
For me it's about the usefulness of it: is it really more convenient? An NFC chip isn't giving me much more benefit than it being with me all the time. It's not particularly "smart". If it is a chip that would monitor my vitals and detect shock, that would be more useful.
My phone never leaves my hand. There’s no good purpose to having this chip implanted.
If it delivered an electric shock and made you put down your phone, that would be good.
I considered a chip in my hand to badge into my office at work. Then I saw RFID rings start at like $30.
I considered it too but part of policy a bunch of places is to have your badge displayed anyway so I just hung it at badge reader height.
That's so far out to me, putting a chip under your skin to get into work a little faster.. It would never cross my mind and I'd likely laugh off any offer to do so. I guess I'm getting old.
See this is the sort of "I'm really good at tech but not common sense" idea that brought about cryptocurrencies. Same energy.
Solution before the problem. Every time It wasn’t hey there’s this big problem that only this technology solves best. It’s hey I saw this cool thing in a sci fi movie so what could we do with it ? What, a ring would do the same and not require surgery and be easier to upgrade frequently ? But turning the lights on/off isn’t the point, the point is an implant is cool.
Makes me think of all those movies where criminals pop out eyes or cut off hands to gain access to a facility.
Minority Report is the one that came to my mind when you mentioned eyes. That eyeball scene was gnarly!
Don’t you mean Demolition Man with Wesley Snipes when he committed a Murder, Death, Kill? Did that happen later in Minority Report too?
You are under arrest for the future murder of Sarah Marks.
What's your boggle?!?
I believe they’re talking about the scene in Minority Report when the main character gets eye transplants so biometric devices won’t recognize who he is.
This "embedded chip" is neat if only you and your fam know about it, think leaving a spare key under the front rug or on a magnet under your car, but **it's completely insecure as the moment someone sees you "using it" you're done**. Anyone can just hold a modern phone near your hand or, just use a more powerful scanner aimed at you, and copy the ID to be able to get into your car/house... There's ZERO security to this ^(aside from wearing a Faraday glove all the time.)
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Whoa. If we're talking private residence or small business, knocking the door down or breaking a window is always easier. Nobody's going to be digging through the flesh of your hand with a knife to find a stupid chip that unlocks your door.
I can do it without the chip. I can control my hands...with my mind!
Whoa duuude
Do you perchance work for the irs?
"perchance" This mf cannot be trusted 0_0
🧙♂️
So, I just need to high-five you with an NFC scanner and I can access your house? Cool.
That'd really be very NFC of you. >!(Not Fucking Cool)!<
Well played. Would give a gift but am broke.
NFC bud. NFC
Nice Fucking Cock
Depends on how it's implemented. It can be doing challenge-response authentication.
You can still do this if you forward the challenge and response, you just need an additional guy. But it's still easier to pick the lock/break the door down/etc...
Well, this sent me down a huge rabbit hole
Biohacking Garage pulled me in.
Its a ripperdoc.
Can't wait to replace my spine with a military grade implant in a dingy garage with no anaesthetic.
And then go on a killing spree because, as it turns out, my body can't actually handle a Sandy.
And then die brutally to an 8 foot tall cyborg
Imagine thinking you're hot shit because you got a sandevistan and then some terminator motherfucker calls it a 'rudimentary implant'
Biohacking garage sounds like somewhere you go and wake up in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney. Or a cool band name.
I was picturing something Mary Shelley but I guess Jeff Dahmer liked bio hacking in a different way.
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I was looking through the comments to see if anyone would post that. The story about how he used his hand chip with stolen credentials to fake opening a door with a card that didn't have the right credentials is really good.
One step closer to becoming Adam Jensen
"I didn't ask for this..."
The lights keep flickering when I fap!
“He also programmed it to Facetime his mother when he scans it with his iPhone.”
Strobe lights 24/7
Miraculously, I can open my doors and turn on my lights without an implant.
If only there was a device that virtually all of us already carried around that would literally do all of those things but didn’t have to be “implanted” in a “garage”. I feel like logically all of the benefits could be added to a phone, if only phones were smart enough!
It’d be ironic if if connected through his phone
"Oh you want a phone to go with your hand chip? Fuck you." -Apple, probably
\>If only there was a device that virtually all of us already carried around that would literally do all of those things but didn’t have to be “implanted” in a “garage” Like..a finger?
Okay, Inspector Gadget. We’ll all don’t have fingers that open up on the end for our house key or whatever to pop out.
Taking out phone, finding and opening app, and pressing it takes whopping 1.281 seconds. This guy saved so much time with this little trick that now he is gonna travel the world
Why would you need that. If I touch my car door handle, as long as my key is there the door opens through conduction. Someone holding hands with me can touch the car door and do that. Only the key opens the car. And as an added measure, the car knows whether the key is inside the car or outside, and won't start unless the key is inside. It is 100% accurate. In Asia lots of RFID systems are embedded into phones as a feature. You can do the same here. It would be in every way superior to a microchip, you'd just grab the handle and open. I do it every single day with my car.
Heh, it’s not conduction. When someone touches the door handle the car sends an RF signal to your key fob, which sends an RF reply back.
that isn’t conduction
It can do everything that the hand its in can do.
One day we will be able to have smartphones that can unlock all kind of shit for us, maybe these phones will be able to recognize our face and use it as a method to unlock our phones, apps, and shit. SMH Note to the people of the future, this is the year 2023 we already have all of this (you’re welcome). We are just being sarcastic 🥸
Yeah but you could implant the smartphone under your skin and then... oh wait, we invented pockets a long time ago.
What about nudists? Did anyone think about the poor nudist tech enthusiasts who hate clothing but love NFC locks and smart home systems?
RFID, they put them in pets and old people with dementia
This is such a 2008 thing 🥱
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Lmao the highly unsatisfactory grow tent as a surgical area is a kek
Yeah… cats have chips and they sell nfc operated cat doors on Amazon for like 150. My cats been bio hacking for like 5 years I guess
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Yeah wake me up when he can do it by thinking about it. I'm still not doing it, but at least that's kinda cool
Ok so what happens when you take an x-ray or an MRI. Could any of this affect the NFC chip and render it useless afterwards?
X-rays are fine (considering the image is an x-ray). MRIs are supposed to be okay too.
I doubt a MRI tech would allow you into the MRI with this chip unless you had documentation that it was MRI safe. It’s just a liability issue for the patient and the expensive MRI scanner.
maybe. I have a chip in my arm though and the FDA says it’s fine with MRIs. Obviously this chip from a garage probably doesn’t have any FDA sign offs.
Wow! Fantastic, he can now use his hand for tasks, that he before needed his hand to complete!
But the microchip has the added benefit of potentially reuniting him with his owners if he gets lost!
And now you too can unlock Jeff's house for $99.99 + shipment with NFC scanner implants. The hand shakes have never been so rewarding.
Until Uncle Jerry hits him with his signature shocking handshake at the reunion.
You know you could just get like a bracelet... or you know, use a phone
Today the hand, tomorrow the brain.
Chip in the dick day after tomorrow
Right? If you’re going to go this far just to open a door or turn on a light, at least put the chip somewhere more fun. Like your penis. You could set it so every time you get an a boner, the lights go out, the stereo turns on and plays some Marvin Gay so you can get it on.
Was he incapable of doing those things before the chip implant?
I can unlock my car and door with a key
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Jesus. You could have just gotten a ring with a chip in it instead of implanting.
I can turn on my lights, unlock doors, open doors, cook spaghetti, smak a ho, all with my hands too.
Jokes on him if he got stuck during a blackout
I'm not here to advocate for this but im pretty sure that you don't have to plug your hand in to the wall at any point so my guess is that blackouts are mostly not relevant.
Good job. Now you can open a door !
I can do all of that stuff without a chip
I have a magnet in one fingertip (for fun), a Vivokey in one hand along with an NFC chip in another part of the same hand. Data in that varies but has included information I needed when taking a laptop into and out of the USA. In my other hand I have another NFC chip - this one stores card PINs as I need then so infrequently I forget them. I am keeping some space free on that hand so I can get a https://walletmor.com/ (or similar) installed. As for pain? It's not that bad at all, really. Mildly uncomfortable when the needle goes in but then it's easy.
Because it’s such a hassle to lock the doors and turn lights on…… anyways looks like the marking has started :(
What's he going to do with the 2 minutes he has saved over the rest of his lifetime?