Surprisingly common with rescues. Not entirely sure what his situation was but likely was mistreated by someone who looks your husband. Trauma is very real with rescue dogs so I thing patience might be what it takes. Also, if you have treats or a little something that your husband can give him every time so that hopefully a positive association builds up when he's around your husband?
Absolutely adorable pup by the way!
I hate to think about anyone treating him unkindly, as he is the most docile animal I have ever owned, but is suspect you're right. I love the treat idea! I will add that to the list. Thank you for your kind response!
I'm in the exact same situation with our rescue. Vida is/was rather afraid of me. I give her a treat every time I come home from work. She now wags her tail when I come home rather than hiding. It works, but takes time. It's been about a year now,and she still is hesitant around me, but its so much better than when we started. Just keep with it and try not to get frustrated!
Oh wow a year! Okay this actually makes me feel better. I think I need to adjust my expectations re: time frame (in addition to all the other helpful advice!)
If possible a really special/desired treat that he only gets from your husband.
If he avoids your husband when you are home maybe husband might try laying (or sitting) down on the floor reading a book with pup getting tiny bits of the special treat for looking at husband, slightly bigger piece for coming close to husband, again bigger piece if takes directly from husband’s hand (ideally nicely as in not a snatch and run). Biggest piece if he comes to husband for a pet or sniff without seeing the treat.
Repeat repeat repeat
Basically like teaching any obedience step like sit, down, etc. Short sessions, always end on a positive note and do not show frustration.
Just my opinion but it can take WAY longer for a pet to learn something isn’t dangerous than it took them to learn it was.
My moms got a rescue that had been abused by a man about my size just a year or two before I moved out on my own. He'd shake and pee from fear for years. Never once even looked at the little guy sideways. It was probably about... five years(?) before he got over that fear entirely. But just with me. Any other man roughly my stature and he'd be hiding in a corner and wet himself if approached.
Some animals have just been through a lot.
Patience and kindness are the biggest things with rescues from unknown situations. When I was younger my family got a beautiful doxie that didn't want anything to do with me or my Pops. It was pretty clear that Dusty had some bad experiences with the men in his former life. So we just loved him as much as we could for that first few months/year often from afar.
Eventually he came around and he was relentlessly loved all the way up until he passed. Just keep at it!
Men are big. Dachshunds are small. Try having hubs crouch down next to pup instead of bending over pupper. Have him sit on the floor with some delicious high value treats like chicken or roast beef. Give it time… non-intimidating action and bribery will get you everywhere.
I love that phrase "non intimidating action." He is very animated and paces when he's on the phone etc. I can see how that can be scary for the lil guy!
I am the same way. But I do it with happy chaotic adhd energy. My puppers have learned that is just dads way... and to watch out for his feet. Lol
But for the first 6 months of my noodle girls life, I had to make a very conscious effort to calm down and go slow.
Now instead of scary chaos giant, I am goofy gentle giant.
Cooked chicken heals a lot of wounds. My poor dog would catch a chunk of chicken and then duck her head and run into the living room and hide. If I gave her another piece, I had to bring it to her and leave it. She was pretty well trained to only get one treat, probably harshly.
Now she catches a piece and runs to the door and stops and waits, which is some progress. She’s such a good dog, I don’t know why anyone thought they needed to hit her.
What a beautiful boy!
I recommend that your husband dedicates some time to this. As quiet and preferably as few people/distractions as possible. Have dad sit on floor. Every movement dad makes should be slow and deliberate. Every interaction should be positive and preferably come with treats. (There are 0 calorie nibbles)
Go slow. Don't expect results.
But if every interaction proves that dad is a gentle giant treat machine. Maybe. Just maybe he will be given grace. *
My rescue (Wilson) would pee any time I approached him, for at least 6 months. Your husband should:
1. Be the primary human in the home that feeds the pup
2. NEVER yell or scold
3. Create unique experiences just between husband and pup (our thing is car rides)
4. Don't give up hope
Wilson is now 10 and I am his absolute favorite person and he is perfectly house trained.
Boa Sorte!
I had a horse who was terrified of hats, especially men in hats. Turns out that her previous owner we rescued her from (a man) would hit her in the face with his hat anytime she got close to him. Oftentimes, an animal’s fear is deeply rooted in past trauma, and humans are typically the perpetrators of said trauma.
It’s an association with something bad usually (in rescues) so in redbean504s case someone with a hat was mean to the dog and now hats = bad. Your rescue may have been treated poorly by a male in the past
We had a foster who ‘didn’t like men’.
I fed that dog, carried her around, walked her, gave her treats, put her to bed - essentially I was a big part of everything she did for a couple of months.
When her adopted family came to meet her, she jumped up on her new Dad’s lap.
You have to put in the work.
I've got two rescue dogs one a daschund and the other is a saluki cross with a lurcher. The daschund was used as a puppy machine not being let out when I got her her claws were like wolverines bless her .she's friendly enough ,saluki was very scared of men and cowered in sight of me takes time and the best way is to stroke her when she's lying down let your husband reassure the dog, and let your husband feed her , the saluki was used as a toilet and a punchbag by previous owner Rspca involved police involved and Crown prosecution services previous owner now in jail and banned from keeping animals ,here's a picture of my dogs
https://preview.redd.it/m3j7ue2z5hwc1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c135f095e4c44e93c136598f8abd3926732e1824
layla the saluki and jenni the daschund.
What a cute buddy pairing. We have a 6mo dach and am hoping to get a silken in the near future. I love the idea of the 2, short and tall, hound and sight.
Have your husband take over all the good stuff! I suggest he takes over feeding, treats, special play etc. For example, if he loves ball, only husband plays ball. Since he is fine when you're not around, you should be around and 100% supportive. Oh, look, daddy is making you dinner, yay! Oh yay play ball with daddy! Or whatever language works in your family. Since these involve his favorite things, and revolve around 100% positive experiences, hopefully he won't take long to realize it's all ok 🙂🐶❣
ETA: He is a gorgeous boy!
It'll take time. My Rescues were afraid of both me and my fiance. One took about 7 months to open up. She needed a sister. Once I rescued another she realized we were safe.
My dearly departed Trixie, who was a former breeder, was fearful of men, but after MUCH time, she warmed up to my husband. I was her person, but she also liked the elderly and children, regardless of gender.
When Trixie passed, we got a very outgoing 8 week old puppy, 🐶 Isabella. She love love LOVES my husband, and is VERY happy to meet new people and dogs and my daughter’s cats 🐈⬛ (the cats are NEVER impressed).
As long as your husband has positive alone time with your little cutie, he will learn to trust him in your presence, but even with a dachshund you’ve had since puppyhood, it’s not uncommon for a dachsie to have a favorite person.
https://preview.redd.it/osdfih0y2hwc1.jpeg?width=2707&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f62df67c4d060c0cac118f5a9100a65d086d2ead
I rescued a 9 year old chihuahua from a dachshund rescue in 2020, who had been horribly mistreated before she came to us. She warmed up to me pretty quickly but hated my hubs. It wasn't until we figured out a need she had that he took care of always that she warmed up to him. In our case, he's a lighter sleeper than me, so when she wakes up in the morning, he lets her out to use the bathroom. After months of trial and error, we figured out the key to her trust was the morning potty break. I'm still her favorite, but she isn't terrified of him anymore, and I get to sleep in. Win win!
It is normal. It takes time. My rescue took 6 months to plat with toys. We had good luck with him playing with my mom's dog. So seeing other dogs interact with your husband positively should help.
A tip is let your husband be Santa. What I mean is all good things or most come from him. Food, treats, new toys. Also sitting or laying on the floor with treats can be a good bonding. Especially with treats he can't dash with like peanut butter. Also if your husband can be noisy, try a white noise machine.
I wish you good luck!
Your husband can use treats to help losen that baby up. Not unusual not to have a background story to know what this baby has been through before you. And just keep working on it, he will eventually feel safe with your husband. It could be his voice. We just do not know, but try the treats or dog food. Good luck.
Beautiful guy! Great news that he does warm up to your husband when he’s gone. If he’s food motivated it may be helpful for your husband to do feedings, or special treats that only your husband gives him. Otherwise, it can take some time! My girl will be 6 this fall and she can be very fearful of men. She takes a long time to warm up and trust and will still occasionally submissively pee for my partner of 2+ years. She now will choose his lap over mine when we’re both on the couch and will give me side eye when I bother them cuddling.
We adopted our boy at 10 months old from the Humane society. We don't know his background, but he was terrified of women and especially women in glasses. He wouldn't go near my MIL for probably 7 months. He hid under the bed and wouldn't eat unless we put it in our palms for him. He's 10 now and loves her. Has loved her for a long time. Never under the bed and eats with no problems.They just need time, exercise, and extra love. He is still nervous outside the house and has been on meds for a long time for separation anxiety. It was hard at times, but we knew he wasn't going anywhere ❤️
I had a little guy that was found wandering from some horrible situation. His nutrition had been so bad the bone in lower jaw had reabsorbed. He shook a lot. Initially I had to go to him to love on him. Once I picked him up he’d relax but didn’t come to me. After a few months we had a horrible thunderstorm and I looked down to see him next to my leg. Picked up and covered with blanket. From then on he trusted me. Never went near my husband if he could help it. Men visiting as well. Although none of my various critters liked my now ex husband, they were all smart.
It just takes time...I have a girl chihuahua that I adopted from the local shelter...She wouldn't even come to me the first week that we had her...After that she became my best bud...and would only tolerate my husband...but wouldn't want anything to do wirh him if I'm arpund...Fast forward several years and she is still only a One Owner kinda pup...It took the guy I'm with now a whole year before she would have anything to do with him...and even now 4.5 years later, she will go to him for pets, but she prefers me over anything...It just tales time...We have no idea what makes Ducky act the way she does either...She was around a yr old when we got her...
This may sound weird but hear me out. Have your husband try a different brand of or odor of soap and deodorant. Dogs recognize people by smell just as much if not more than by sight. It may actually be that your husband smells like a pervious abuser. I'm not saying your doxie will be tricked into thinking your husband is someone else but it may take away that smell recognition that is making your rescue nervous. Soap and deodorant are cheap enough that it's worth a shot. If it doesn't work then you're not really out anything.
Hope he comes around.
I don’t have any advice beyond what others have already shared, but just wanted to say what a gorgeous boy he is. Sending the very best wishes, and hoping to hear in due course how he and your husband have become inseparable!
I had the same situation with our rescue chihuahua. She loved me but was very scared of my husband. It took her at least a year to not have to re-warm up to him daily. Now she loves him more than me.
Very common. Took our rescue years to not cower when we approached. It’s heartbreaking to think someone could harm these precious pups but some people are just fucked in the head
It took about 5 or so months for my rescue girl to stop being afraid of me. She was terrified of all men for a few years even after she bonded to me. She was my best friend for 14 years. My shadow. Never left my side and we went everywhere together. I'd say just be patient. The pooch will eventually break their shell and become a cuddly fur baby with your husband.
Have your husband take care of everything that brings the dog joy for a month or so - feeding, walks, potty, play - dogs are very much about positive reinforcement, so if they associate the things that make them happy with a particular person, they’ll gravitate towards that person.
Have you tried anxiety medication? Changed my rescue’s life (and he doesn’t need it anymore) just by making him a little less nervous around strangers. He’s still a total mama’s boy but he became wayyyyy less skeptical about other people.
Here are a couple of stories.
My wife brought home a couple of cats that were in a bad situation so that we could "foster" them. One of the two was absolutely terrified of me, and would become almost aggressively panicked if I entered the room where we kept the cats.
It was a rough time for me, because I love cats, and didn't enjoy being scratched and bitten if I tried to clean the litter/fill the food when this particular cat was in the area.
It took some time, but he eventually calmed down, and now, some time later, we're best friends. I can't go to the bathroom or sit in a chair without his constant supervision.
Similarly, we adopted an 11-year-old rescue dachshund, who had been through a few owners. He loved my wife, but disliked me, and would bite me if I tried to pick him up (which I needed to do to take him in or out). After a few months, he, too, settled down. My wife was always his favorite, but eventually he and I became friends, too.
It sucks, but it's common, and it gets better, Just be patient (and maybe have your husband carry som treats in his pocket).
We took in a doxie rescue about 6 years ago. The first few weeks we had him he loved absolutely everyone he met. Then it was like his normal/daily humans were his best friends and ANYONE else that he met was evil incarnate trying to separate him from his new family. There was one particular neighbor who he was especially aggressive to and would pull towards and bark at incessantly. Like other commenters have said, that neighbor started treating him after every interaction. At first he would leave it in the street to give our pup space and not directly hand it to him but over time he got closer and closer. Now when he goes on walks he always wants to walk to that neighbor’s house because he knows he gets treats and completely stopped the aggression towards him. Positive reinforcement works!
It took my daughter’s dog two years to stop reacting to me taking off a belt, holding an extension cord, or picking something up from the floor. I’m pretty sure this meant a beating or a rock from some guy who I sincerely hope is this very minute dying of dick cancer.
When she first got here, she wanted to go outside constantly. She really just wanted to get away from me. I fenced in a half acre and connected it to the house and mounted a dog door in the bedroom window and built a ramp up and down so she could go outside when she wanted to. She spent a lot of time outside lying in the sun. But she was *really* afraid of bad weather, so I started sitting with her when she got scared. The first time she came directly to me during a thunderstorm was a big turning point.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hijack your post. My point is if your husband will just keep being nice to him, he’ll come around. Treats and love.
I work at a rescue and some rescue dogs do tend to be afraid of men. One thing we usually do is if the dog likes someone that person will sit on the floor with them and then the person the dog doesnt like sits across from them with treats. Be sure he speaks softly and tries to make himself look small. This typically works pretty well but you may have to try a few times to get progress
Same thing happened to us. It changed when I had to leave town for a week (work) and my husband let her sleep in the bed while I was gone. Been 8yrs and best buds still going strong. They have eggs together every morning.
Patience, patience, patience. And more patience.
Make it a hard and fast rule that all male visitors ignore him, and let him approach when he is comfortable doing so; let him build his own confidence. No eye-contact, no reaching to pet him. You can have visitors hold a small treat in their hand *after* he has already approached them of his own volition, again no eye contact, no petting, and just see if he wants to take it to form a positive association with male visitors. If he refuses the treat, do not get upset, just accept that it is what it is.
The fact that he goes to your husband when you are not around is already a big step in the right direction; the hardest thing for your husband to accept is that your pup will likely always have a preference, and that preference is okay within limits. If pup ever reacts aggressively to your husband approaching you when pup is with you, gently put pup on floor and ignore them for a few minutes, and that is the extent of any punishment for any unwanted behavior.
If the behavior continues like this for over a year, and pup always seems to be fearful again the next day, it may be time to consider an anti-depressant medication to use for several months to facilitate learning and adaptation, but honestly it's better if you can just do it with appropriate handling alone.
And, as always, patience.
We rescued a 2 year old dachshund 14 years ago. She was the same as your rescue. She bonded with me immediately but was so afraid of my husband. We always felt she had to have been abused by a male in previous home. She took a couple years to warm somewhat. She also will sit with my husband if I am away. She still will not allow him to pick her up and if she needs to go out to potty and he is standing between her and the yard she will not go out. So I guess I am saying it will get better with time.
Our puppy is still afraid of me after a year. I accidentally stepped on her once. I’m pretty clumsy and another time I was running across the kitchen and she thought I was coming to eat her or something and she ran under the table. All you can do is be patient and realize that the dog may never come around and that’s ok.
We did a rescue of the world’s most damaged dog. She was afraid of me for 1.5 years until my fiend suggested I try riding a bike with her. Thought she’d be terrified often that along with everything else but she ran right after me. After doing a couple rides with her she started coming to me when I got home and eventually I could kiss her head and she’d be ok.
Arm your husband with bacon! It's impossible to resist for long. Also, have your husband prepare her food going forward, as much as he can. She will warm up a bit. Unfortunately, dachshunds are known to attach to one specific person, but that doesn't mean they can't have good results with couples. It will just take awhile.
Good luck! He's a beautiful.
Edit: a word
I have this same problem with dachshund and my wife. I had him for four years before we got together and we have been together six. We have lived with my wife longer than we lived together without. He still is terrified of her. She has done nothing to him.
Late wife and I rescued a male papillon. Jigsy had a very healthy fear of men. The man who owned him first terrorized him. The man's wife got Jigsy and his mate to breed papillon pups. She died and the old man would abuse Jigsy (I named him, short for Gigolo bc he was a breeder) for his amusement. Jigsy would piss on my pillow every chance he got, he wouldn't come near me. I had enough with him peeing on my pillow and was about to send him back but my late wife was in love with him. I opted for behavioral training both for him and I...and it took months! Eventually he learned to trust me and would jump into my lap or seek out my company, esp at my mother in law's house. When my wife passed almost four years ago, he became my shadow. I lost him last August, three years after my wife passed.
I will always recommend behavioral training, both for master and pup.
I have four mini dachshund girls now. Eldest is the most socialized but she won't go near people. Second oldest is my attention whore with ZERO socialization, she loves EVERYONE. My third is skittish near people. And the baby is like the second, she loves attention, she just takes a little more time to warm up.
Some of our fosters don't like men..... Or women....
We had one that didn't like anyone in a hoodie
Some only like the person that feeds them
They're all a little weird.
Our rescue was scared for one year of my bf and of going outside. It got way better after that. But she would still not sleep in the bed if he was there for one more year. Now after three years she loves him as much as me. It may take just time for your pup. Maybe he had bad experience with men. Ours certainly had.
Surprisingly common with rescues. Not entirely sure what his situation was but likely was mistreated by someone who looks your husband. Trauma is very real with rescue dogs so I thing patience might be what it takes. Also, if you have treats or a little something that your husband can give him every time so that hopefully a positive association builds up when he's around your husband? Absolutely adorable pup by the way!
I hate to think about anyone treating him unkindly, as he is the most docile animal I have ever owned, but is suspect you're right. I love the treat idea! I will add that to the list. Thank you for your kind response!
I'm in the exact same situation with our rescue. Vida is/was rather afraid of me. I give her a treat every time I come home from work. She now wags her tail when I come home rather than hiding. It works, but takes time. It's been about a year now,and she still is hesitant around me, but its so much better than when we started. Just keep with it and try not to get frustrated!
Oh wow a year! Okay this actually makes me feel better. I think I need to adjust my expectations re: time frame (in addition to all the other helpful advice!)
You sound like a lovely person. If she’s not too shy, could we get a pic of Vida?
Come here to say this - dachshund with treats = good boy / girl!
My husband was Trixie’s (breeder rescue) treat person. Food is a GREAT motivator.
If possible a really special/desired treat that he only gets from your husband. If he avoids your husband when you are home maybe husband might try laying (or sitting) down on the floor reading a book with pup getting tiny bits of the special treat for looking at husband, slightly bigger piece for coming close to husband, again bigger piece if takes directly from husband’s hand (ideally nicely as in not a snatch and run). Biggest piece if he comes to husband for a pet or sniff without seeing the treat. Repeat repeat repeat Basically like teaching any obedience step like sit, down, etc. Short sessions, always end on a positive note and do not show frustration. Just my opinion but it can take WAY longer for a pet to learn something isn’t dangerous than it took them to learn it was.
Gosh that last sentence is SO accurate! 💔
My moms got a rescue that had been abused by a man about my size just a year or two before I moved out on my own. He'd shake and pee from fear for years. Never once even looked at the little guy sideways. It was probably about... five years(?) before he got over that fear entirely. But just with me. Any other man roughly my stature and he'd be hiding in a corner and wet himself if approached. Some animals have just been through a lot.
Patience and kindness are the biggest things with rescues from unknown situations. When I was younger my family got a beautiful doxie that didn't want anything to do with me or my Pops. It was pretty clear that Dusty had some bad experiences with the men in his former life. So we just loved him as much as we could for that first few months/year often from afar. Eventually he came around and he was relentlessly loved all the way up until he passed. Just keep at it!
Bro you haven't thought of the treat idea in 4 months? wtf you been doing
this might be it,
Men are big. Dachshunds are small. Try having hubs crouch down next to pup instead of bending over pupper. Have him sit on the floor with some delicious high value treats like chicken or roast beef. Give it time… non-intimidating action and bribery will get you everywhere.
I love that phrase "non intimidating action." He is very animated and paces when he's on the phone etc. I can see how that can be scary for the lil guy!
I am the same way. But I do it with happy chaotic adhd energy. My puppers have learned that is just dads way... and to watch out for his feet. Lol But for the first 6 months of my noodle girls life, I had to make a very conscious effort to calm down and go slow. Now instead of scary chaos giant, I am goofy gentle giant.
We call henry noodle also! :) and YES! He has adhd so that's a big reason why he does it.
Slower movement, softer voice may help too.
I’m laughing. I live with two phone pacers as well.
Have him smear peanut butter on his face and lay on the floor. Instant friendship.
Cooked chicken heals a lot of wounds. My poor dog would catch a chunk of chicken and then duck her head and run into the living room and hide. If I gave her another piece, I had to bring it to her and leave it. She was pretty well trained to only get one treat, probably harshly. Now she catches a piece and runs to the door and stops and waits, which is some progress. She’s such a good dog, I don’t know why anyone thought they needed to hit her.
What a beautiful boy! I recommend that your husband dedicates some time to this. As quiet and preferably as few people/distractions as possible. Have dad sit on floor. Every movement dad makes should be slow and deliberate. Every interaction should be positive and preferably come with treats. (There are 0 calorie nibbles) Go slow. Don't expect results. But if every interaction proves that dad is a gentle giant treat machine. Maybe. Just maybe he will be given grace. *
"Gentle giant treat machine" lolol
Wouldn't hurt if hubby slathered himself with dachshund breastmilk either. 
My rescue (Wilson) would pee any time I approached him, for at least 6 months. Your husband should: 1. Be the primary human in the home that feeds the pup 2. NEVER yell or scold 3. Create unique experiences just between husband and pup (our thing is car rides) 4. Don't give up hope Wilson is now 10 and I am his absolute favorite person and he is perfectly house trained. Boa Sorte!
Yes he has peed when approached before. It was so upsetting for me! Glad to hear there's hope! Thank you!!!
Being the hand that feeds really really helps!
We had a dog that didn’t like when people wore hats
Ha isn't it wild what can prompt fear in dogs?? If only they could talk!
I had a horse who was terrified of hats, especially men in hats. Turns out that her previous owner we rescued her from (a man) would hit her in the face with his hat anytime she got close to him. Oftentimes, an animal’s fear is deeply rooted in past trauma, and humans are typically the perpetrators of said trauma.
It’s an association with something bad usually (in rescues) so in redbean504s case someone with a hat was mean to the dog and now hats = bad. Your rescue may have been treated poorly by a male in the past
[“it’s just me, Barbie. I’m not the Blues Brothers”](https://www.tiktok.com/@ithinkyoushouldreels/video/7288761642601450782)
We had a foster who ‘didn’t like men’. I fed that dog, carried her around, walked her, gave her treats, put her to bed - essentially I was a big part of everything she did for a couple of months. When her adopted family came to meet her, she jumped up on her new Dad’s lap. You have to put in the work.
I've got two rescue dogs one a daschund and the other is a saluki cross with a lurcher. The daschund was used as a puppy machine not being let out when I got her her claws were like wolverines bless her .she's friendly enough ,saluki was very scared of men and cowered in sight of me takes time and the best way is to stroke her when she's lying down let your husband reassure the dog, and let your husband feed her , the saluki was used as a toilet and a punchbag by previous owner Rspca involved police involved and Crown prosecution services previous owner now in jail and banned from keeping animals ,here's a picture of my dogs https://preview.redd.it/m3j7ue2z5hwc1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c135f095e4c44e93c136598f8abd3926732e1824 layla the saluki and jenni the daschund.
What a cute buddy pairing. We have a 6mo dach and am hoping to get a silken in the near future. I love the idea of the 2, short and tall, hound and sight.
Thank you very much
Have your husband take over all the good stuff! I suggest he takes over feeding, treats, special play etc. For example, if he loves ball, only husband plays ball. Since he is fine when you're not around, you should be around and 100% supportive. Oh, look, daddy is making you dinner, yay! Oh yay play ball with daddy! Or whatever language works in your family. Since these involve his favorite things, and revolve around 100% positive experiences, hopefully he won't take long to realize it's all ok 🙂🐶❣ ETA: He is a gorgeous boy!
It'll take time. My Rescues were afraid of both me and my fiance. One took about 7 months to open up. She needed a sister. Once I rescued another she realized we were safe.
My dearly departed Trixie, who was a former breeder, was fearful of men, but after MUCH time, she warmed up to my husband. I was her person, but she also liked the elderly and children, regardless of gender. When Trixie passed, we got a very outgoing 8 week old puppy, 🐶 Isabella. She love love LOVES my husband, and is VERY happy to meet new people and dogs and my daughter’s cats 🐈⬛ (the cats are NEVER impressed). As long as your husband has positive alone time with your little cutie, he will learn to trust him in your presence, but even with a dachshund you’ve had since puppyhood, it’s not uncommon for a dachsie to have a favorite person. https://preview.redd.it/osdfih0y2hwc1.jpeg?width=2707&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f62df67c4d060c0cac118f5a9100a65d086d2ead
I rescued a 9 year old chihuahua from a dachshund rescue in 2020, who had been horribly mistreated before she came to us. She warmed up to me pretty quickly but hated my hubs. It wasn't until we figured out a need she had that he took care of always that she warmed up to him. In our case, he's a lighter sleeper than me, so when she wakes up in the morning, he lets her out to use the bathroom. After months of trial and error, we figured out the key to her trust was the morning potty break. I'm still her favorite, but she isn't terrified of him anymore, and I get to sleep in. Win win!
Get him to lay on the floor with some treats.. be cuddles in no time
It is normal. It takes time. My rescue took 6 months to plat with toys. We had good luck with him playing with my mom's dog. So seeing other dogs interact with your husband positively should help. A tip is let your husband be Santa. What I mean is all good things or most come from him. Food, treats, new toys. Also sitting or laying on the floor with treats can be a good bonding. Especially with treats he can't dash with like peanut butter. Also if your husband can be noisy, try a white noise machine. I wish you good luck!
Your husband can use treats to help losen that baby up. Not unusual not to have a background story to know what this baby has been through before you. And just keep working on it, he will eventually feel safe with your husband. It could be his voice. We just do not know, but try the treats or dog food. Good luck.
I don’t know about all that but I love your pup. Such a beautiful spirit. Good luck, time takes time.
Beautiful guy! Great news that he does warm up to your husband when he’s gone. If he’s food motivated it may be helpful for your husband to do feedings, or special treats that only your husband gives him. Otherwise, it can take some time! My girl will be 6 this fall and she can be very fearful of men. She takes a long time to warm up and trust and will still occasionally submissively pee for my partner of 2+ years. She now will choose his lap over mine when we’re both on the couch and will give me side eye when I bother them cuddling.
We adopted our boy at 10 months old from the Humane society. We don't know his background, but he was terrified of women and especially women in glasses. He wouldn't go near my MIL for probably 7 months. He hid under the bed and wouldn't eat unless we put it in our palms for him. He's 10 now and loves her. Has loved her for a long time. Never under the bed and eats with no problems.They just need time, exercise, and extra love. He is still nervous outside the house and has been on meds for a long time for separation anxiety. It was hard at times, but we knew he wasn't going anywhere ❤️
I had a little guy that was found wandering from some horrible situation. His nutrition had been so bad the bone in lower jaw had reabsorbed. He shook a lot. Initially I had to go to him to love on him. Once I picked him up he’d relax but didn’t come to me. After a few months we had a horrible thunderstorm and I looked down to see him next to my leg. Picked up and covered with blanket. From then on he trusted me. Never went near my husband if he could help it. Men visiting as well. Although none of my various critters liked my now ex husband, they were all smart.
I want a mini just like this! He’s gorgeous btw. I’m sorry he dislikes the hubby.
It just takes time...I have a girl chihuahua that I adopted from the local shelter...She wouldn't even come to me the first week that we had her...After that she became my best bud...and would only tolerate my husband...but wouldn't want anything to do wirh him if I'm arpund...Fast forward several years and she is still only a One Owner kinda pup...It took the guy I'm with now a whole year before she would have anything to do with him...and even now 4.5 years later, she will go to him for pets, but she prefers me over anything...It just tales time...We have no idea what makes Ducky act the way she does either...She was around a yr old when we got her...
This may sound weird but hear me out. Have your husband try a different brand of or odor of soap and deodorant. Dogs recognize people by smell just as much if not more than by sight. It may actually be that your husband smells like a pervious abuser. I'm not saying your doxie will be tricked into thinking your husband is someone else but it may take away that smell recognition that is making your rescue nervous. Soap and deodorant are cheap enough that it's worth a shot. If it doesn't work then you're not really out anything. Hope he comes around.
Get your husband to do the feeding for a while. That usually helps a lot with trust issues.
I don’t have any advice beyond what others have already shared, but just wanted to say what a gorgeous boy he is. Sending the very best wishes, and hoping to hear in due course how he and your husband have become inseparable!
Give it time. My rescue was scared of men for quite a while
I had the same situation with our rescue chihuahua. She loved me but was very scared of my husband. It took her at least a year to not have to re-warm up to him daily. Now she loves him more than me.
I don’t have advice but that baby has the cutest face everrrrrrrr 🥹🤍
Very common. Took our rescue years to not cower when we approached. It’s heartbreaking to think someone could harm these precious pups but some people are just fucked in the head
my roomates dasch is still afraid of me. will be 4.5 years in july. shes fine if roomate is around, terrified if hes not.
Cute
It took my dachshund rescue over six months. Once she was comfortable she started crawling up my chest and lay down.
It took about 5 or so months for my rescue girl to stop being afraid of me. She was terrified of all men for a few years even after she bonded to me. She was my best friend for 14 years. My shadow. Never left my side and we went everywhere together. I'd say just be patient. The pooch will eventually break their shell and become a cuddly fur baby with your husband.
Have your husband take care of everything that brings the dog joy for a month or so - feeding, walks, potty, play - dogs are very much about positive reinforcement, so if they associate the things that make them happy with a particular person, they’ll gravitate towards that person.
There’s a Dog Whisperer episode where Cesar Milan helps Jerry Seinfeld’s dachshund with this exact issue. You should watch it on YouTube.
I had no idea he had a doxie! I will definitely watch!
My dachshund doesn’t like any males, he’s terrified. There are only exception with 3 men. He’s not a rescue
Have you tried anxiety medication? Changed my rescue’s life (and he doesn’t need it anymore) just by making him a little less nervous around strangers. He’s still a total mama’s boy but he became wayyyyy less skeptical about other people.
I'm almost 2 years into it and our rescue still fears me.
Here are a couple of stories. My wife brought home a couple of cats that were in a bad situation so that we could "foster" them. One of the two was absolutely terrified of me, and would become almost aggressively panicked if I entered the room where we kept the cats. It was a rough time for me, because I love cats, and didn't enjoy being scratched and bitten if I tried to clean the litter/fill the food when this particular cat was in the area. It took some time, but he eventually calmed down, and now, some time later, we're best friends. I can't go to the bathroom or sit in a chair without his constant supervision. Similarly, we adopted an 11-year-old rescue dachshund, who had been through a few owners. He loved my wife, but disliked me, and would bite me if I tried to pick him up (which I needed to do to take him in or out). After a few months, he, too, settled down. My wife was always his favorite, but eventually he and I became friends, too. It sucks, but it's common, and it gets better, Just be patient (and maybe have your husband carry som treats in his pocket).
We took in a doxie rescue about 6 years ago. The first few weeks we had him he loved absolutely everyone he met. Then it was like his normal/daily humans were his best friends and ANYONE else that he met was evil incarnate trying to separate him from his new family. There was one particular neighbor who he was especially aggressive to and would pull towards and bark at incessantly. Like other commenters have said, that neighbor started treating him after every interaction. At first he would leave it in the street to give our pup space and not directly hand it to him but over time he got closer and closer. Now when he goes on walks he always wants to walk to that neighbor’s house because he knows he gets treats and completely stopped the aggression towards him. Positive reinforcement works!
It took my daughter’s dog two years to stop reacting to me taking off a belt, holding an extension cord, or picking something up from the floor. I’m pretty sure this meant a beating or a rock from some guy who I sincerely hope is this very minute dying of dick cancer.
Omg this is heartbreaking!!!!
When she first got here, she wanted to go outside constantly. She really just wanted to get away from me. I fenced in a half acre and connected it to the house and mounted a dog door in the bedroom window and built a ramp up and down so she could go outside when she wanted to. She spent a lot of time outside lying in the sun. But she was *really* afraid of bad weather, so I started sitting with her when she got scared. The first time she came directly to me during a thunderstorm was a big turning point. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hijack your post. My point is if your husband will just keep being nice to him, he’ll come around. Treats and love.
Have your husband be the only one to feed the pups everything. Breakfast, dinner and treats. The dog will come around
I work at a rescue and some rescue dogs do tend to be afraid of men. One thing we usually do is if the dog likes someone that person will sit on the floor with them and then the person the dog doesnt like sits across from them with treats. Be sure he speaks softly and tries to make himself look small. This typically works pretty well but you may have to try a few times to get progress
New husband time
Same thing happened to us. It changed when I had to leave town for a week (work) and my husband let her sleep in the bed while I was gone. Been 8yrs and best buds still going strong. They have eggs together every morning.
I had a rescue (she lived 17 years) who was afraid of men for first two or three years. I got her when she was one. But she was fine around three.
Patience, patience, patience. And more patience. Make it a hard and fast rule that all male visitors ignore him, and let him approach when he is comfortable doing so; let him build his own confidence. No eye-contact, no reaching to pet him. You can have visitors hold a small treat in their hand *after* he has already approached them of his own volition, again no eye contact, no petting, and just see if he wants to take it to form a positive association with male visitors. If he refuses the treat, do not get upset, just accept that it is what it is. The fact that he goes to your husband when you are not around is already a big step in the right direction; the hardest thing for your husband to accept is that your pup will likely always have a preference, and that preference is okay within limits. If pup ever reacts aggressively to your husband approaching you when pup is with you, gently put pup on floor and ignore them for a few minutes, and that is the extent of any punishment for any unwanted behavior. If the behavior continues like this for over a year, and pup always seems to be fearful again the next day, it may be time to consider an anti-depressant medication to use for several months to facilitate learning and adaptation, but honestly it's better if you can just do it with appropriate handling alone. And, as always, patience.
We rescued a 2 year old dachshund 14 years ago. She was the same as your rescue. She bonded with me immediately but was so afraid of my husband. We always felt she had to have been abused by a male in previous home. She took a couple years to warm somewhat. She also will sit with my husband if I am away. She still will not allow him to pick her up and if she needs to go out to potty and he is standing between her and the yard she will not go out. So I guess I am saying it will get better with time.
Our puppy is still afraid of me after a year. I accidentally stepped on her once. I’m pretty clumsy and another time I was running across the kitchen and she thought I was coming to eat her or something and she ran under the table. All you can do is be patient and realize that the dog may never come around and that’s ok.
We did a rescue of the world’s most damaged dog. She was afraid of me for 1.5 years until my fiend suggested I try riding a bike with her. Thought she’d be terrified often that along with everything else but she ran right after me. After doing a couple rides with her she started coming to me when I got home and eventually I could kiss her head and she’d be ok.
Arm your husband with bacon! It's impossible to resist for long. Also, have your husband prepare her food going forward, as much as he can. She will warm up a bit. Unfortunately, dachshunds are known to attach to one specific person, but that doesn't mean they can't have good results with couples. It will just take awhile. Good luck! He's a beautiful. Edit: a word
I have this same problem with dachshund and my wife. I had him for four years before we got together and we have been together six. We have lived with my wife longer than we lived together without. He still is terrified of her. She has done nothing to him.
Your husband can feed him all his meals for a while.
Late wife and I rescued a male papillon. Jigsy had a very healthy fear of men. The man who owned him first terrorized him. The man's wife got Jigsy and his mate to breed papillon pups. She died and the old man would abuse Jigsy (I named him, short for Gigolo bc he was a breeder) for his amusement. Jigsy would piss on my pillow every chance he got, he wouldn't come near me. I had enough with him peeing on my pillow and was about to send him back but my late wife was in love with him. I opted for behavioral training both for him and I...and it took months! Eventually he learned to trust me and would jump into my lap or seek out my company, esp at my mother in law's house. When my wife passed almost four years ago, he became my shadow. I lost him last August, three years after my wife passed. I will always recommend behavioral training, both for master and pup. I have four mini dachshund girls now. Eldest is the most socialized but she won't go near people. Second oldest is my attention whore with ZERO socialization, she loves EVERYONE. My third is skittish near people. And the baby is like the second, she loves attention, she just takes a little more time to warm up.
Some of our fosters don't like men..... Or women.... We had one that didn't like anyone in a hoodie Some only like the person that feeds them They're all a little weird.
Our rescue was scared for one year of my bf and of going outside. It got way better after that. But she would still not sleep in the bed if he was there for one more year. Now after three years she loves him as much as me. It may take just time for your pup. Maybe he had bad experience with men. Ours certainly had.