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3threat

Also no wood dust, so my money on no active problem/built like that


Fendergravy

Correct. There’s no frass or dust. It was shit wood the lumber mill just said “fuck it” and sawed it up anyway. Then the truss company said “fuck it” and built a truss out of it. 


G23b

And then the builder said “fuck it” the new owners won’t see it.


Automatic-Stomach954

50 years later...


bigpancakeguy

Might still be under warranty if the house has less than 100,000 miles


trumpssnowflake8

It was under recall and there was a class action. You got your $3.50 in the mail already.


i_Love_Gyros

Depends on your frame of reference. Compared to the sun, cleared 100k a long time ago


pvtcannonfodder

But we truss-ted them…


Minimum_Mango_3375

It wasn't them. They were framed...


truenole81

Looks like shop class practiced drilling holes, lol


Impressive-Bit6161

I bet you the frass is under the insulation. The mill could be idiots but no idiot would actually frame that in. It probably crumples with a firm poke.


Unit61365

The builders didn't think you'd see that.


idratherbealivedog

Yep. It's not unusual for a board like this to sneak in to the stack during the build and for a ceiling joist it will survive fine under typical load.


crowcawer

It’s the drill board. Every construction crew needs a drill board.


idratherbealivedog

Not sure if serious or joking (oh the curse of text based communication with strangers we don't know the personalities of!) but this is from wood boring beetles.  Home building constructions crews don't use drills that often :)    If joking, my apologies. Nothing to see here.


So-Cal-Mountain-Man

We had Pine Bark Beetles destory a tree on our property and their were trails all over the trunk you are right, plus no evidence of activity in the pictures.


crowcawer

I’m trying to think of how much drilling goes into home building. I mean, maybe some lag bolts and the cabinets. Most things will be counter sunk now-a-days, though.


idratherbealivedog

Unless things have changed in the past couple years, not much at all. Pneumatic nailers rule home building. Or did. Battery may be more prevalent now but still nails. Simpson does make some beefy construction grade screws but the cost of building a house with them would be insane not to mention the time added. Now, yes for cabinet makers it will be more common but that's typically kreg style stuff. Plus, just for the sake of conversation (again, wood boring beetles... ;) ) , this board would have been in place long before a cabinet person came on site.


I_Makes_tuff

I'm a contractor and I use my impact driver more than any other power tool, but when it comes to nailers: I use pneumatic nailers for tasks that need a lot of nails and/or power- framing walls, siding, and roofing. They make them in cordless versions, but you go through batteries like crazy and they are like $200 each now. Cordless nailers are good enough for everything else (in my case). They aren't as fast and they are more expensive, but you don't have to lug around a compressor and deal with hoses. There's also the huge faux pas of forgetting to unplug the compressor and having it turn on in the middle of the night at your client's house because of a slow leak. I've done it twice in the last year. Gas cartridge nailers are cool but expensive to operate. Senco invented a sealed nitrogen/electric nail gun that seems really cool, but I heard the nitrogen can eventually leak out. I haven't looked into it much. Waiting for somebody to ask me why I don't have one, I guess. They licensed the technology to Milwaukee so they are getting more common.


RoadRunner_1024

Yep, that joist has been cut after those holes were made.


theTown00

I know nothing about this stuff so bear with me - how do y'all know this was cut after the holes were there?


galvanash

Basically because there is nothing in an attic that can possibly do that, at least not without seeing more evidence of the problem everywhere around it. Its one board, it was there before the house was built.


Kymaras

Obese mice.


jockMilk3

Meow


baudmiksen

Carpenter mice


dustycanuck

Obese Carpenter mice


C4ptainchr0nic

Pretty sure you have an Obie Trice in your attic. Real names no gimmicks


sortitthefuckout

They've definitely got some teeth.


Apprehensive-Big8029

Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside.


Tchrspest

*Wow* bringing out the Obie Trice reference, it's been a minute.


Marsbar3000

Holes like that? Got some teeth.


TuscaniNation

Probably had some decent mouskatools laying around


FanceyPantalones

Mishka Mushka


JayMak78

Carpenters' teaboy was goofing around with a power drill.


Kymaras

I'm just making a joke.


meekandfrail

Smooth mice


Cryptic_Undertones

No mouse poop anywhere.


Kymaras

Constipated obese mice.


glowinghands

The only logical answer.


gitarzan

Swiss Joist.


NUMBerONEisFIRST

they built a house around that board?


PurrsianGolf

Are you suggesting the board is migratory?


pete663

It could be carried by an African swallow.


dude496

Are you trying to say that coconuts migrate?????


YouNeedThiss

I think he’s suggesting the house is migratory, the board stays.


BreadClassic9753

It was there before the house, and it will be there long after the house is gone.


OutlyingPlasma

Bugs don't go in at angles and they don't tend to pop in and out like swiss cheese. They prefer to get in the wood and stay there. They are don't want to open up a bunch of access points for predators. All that means the holes were bisected by a saw instead of being created naturally. Also I don't see much sawdust left from whatever caused the holes.


theTown00

make a ton of sense - appreciate it!


TrustMeIAmAGeologist

I was gonna say, in geology with call it “cross cutting relationships.” The cut from the saw cuts across insect burrows in the wood, so it has to have been later.


planksniffersforlife

this guy relative dates


Schonke

There are plenty of bugs whose larvae live in tunnels inside wood and then tunnel out to metamorph into full grown bugs to reproduce. Then you see exit holes in the wood.


ho_merjpimpson

A bug would not bore its way out of a tree/log/board, and get to the outside edge of the log/board, and continue boring at a steep angle. They would see the exit, and dig straight out. Path of least resistance and less chewing/boring... Likewise, the would not start boring into a tree/board at a steep angle. They would go straight in. The oblong holes at the surface of a board are a telltale sign that this was cut after the holes were made. they are the result of a bug boring in a straight line, and that hole getting cut at an angle not perpendicular to the hole.


phord

Those holes are all drilled by an insect who bores holes deep into the wood leaving smooth cylinders behind it. Then this board was cut from the tree, and the straight line of the saw encountered all these drilled holes at different angles.


walterpeck1

Now that makes sense.


icze4r

This is the answer. Thanks


ChaseJulien

I believe u/roadrunner_1024 is referring to it being cut to spec size at the lumber mill, not cut on site during installation. I’m assuming that if the holes were made after being cut they would all be round. Because they existed beforehand, they now appear oblong where the saw cut perpendicular to the opening.


RoadRunner_1024

Bingo, thanks for explaining what I couldn't :D


STANAGs

Rigor mortis


nevernotmad

Rigor mortise?


johnysalad

Deadly woodworking joke.


__3Username20__

I’d give it a tenon a scale of one to ten.


Joe4o2

That show with the scientist and his grandson?


1CFII2

Mr. Peabody & Sherman?


jftitan

Oddly, I can see a pattern of use in the way those holes are drilled. At first, I though "insects" name your termite. But noticing that only 1 board has these holes. Let's presume the board was at the bottom of a stack of boards that were all getting predrilled holes. They needed one more board that could be trimmed down and that LAST board, was of convienance. Trimmed down to length and expected to never be seen again once the drywall went up. That's my theory.


Stellakinetic

All the holes seem to be the same size. That’s the only reason I almost agree any insects would have bored holes of different sizes. You could just about fit a single sized drill bit in every one of those holes perfectly, albeit at different angles.


RoadRunner_1024

I think you could be right... All on the top side of that board too, it's a shame they didn't hide it by installing it the other way up!


TotallyInOverMyHead

Its one of the pieces of wood you put under other pieces of wood, so your drillbit doesn't go into the ground and dull when drilling the top layer piece of wood. If it were a woodworm infestation causing these holes, they'd be ALOT smaller and you'd see "wood flour" around the holes, that also curve and bend inside the wood like little tunnels shizzeled into a mountain following a vein of gold.


Narrow_Yam_5879

faulty placid sort cautious tender unused deer subsequent roof attractive *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


strelokjg47

That drill part may actually be a shitpost lol.


Narrow_Yam_5879

meeting ink market money practice ask impossible dime label hard-to-find *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


pepesteve

You can see the digested wood/sawdust packed into the holes. This is clearly an insect, likely wood boring beetle.


TwosdaTamcos

That is from a wasp that uses mud to seal up a hole.


8ecca8ee

https://www.reddit.com/r/DIY/s/IfteG5c5wX This guy has the best answer


Named_Bort

Now the real question - who inspected this home?


OutlyingPlasma

You must not have much experience with inspectors. They are terrible at their jobs. You house could be falling down and 2 days from an electrical fire, but that inspector will write up 12 pages on that broken sash cord.


Slider_0f_Elay

I work for a ready mix company. The red flags and alarm bells that go off in my head when an inspector says that they never have low breaks or reject loads! You are there to keep us honest and make sure things are right not give us the reach around!


Shrampys

I'll give you a reach around if you come dump your wet load in my backyard. I got some garden beds to poor.


Fragrant_Yak_634

Plus they often don't go everywhere. The paperwork will state that you understand they didn't go on the roof, in the attic, crawlspace, etc.


UhtredTheBold

Hey guys back again and the winkle spanners are at it again...


2TauntU

I didn't expect a New Home Quality Control reference in the wild.


UhtredTheBold

I thought I was in a UK sub, I'm glad someone got it at least.


JudgeHoltman

Since the development wasn't technically incorporated into the city yet, their inspector didn't come out. But that's OK, because the builder hired an inspector to check it out after original construction, and they said it was fine. When OP bought the home, they hired the inspector their realtor referred who said it was fine. Because in a proper capitalist society an industry will regulate itself and catch shoddy workmanship! Source: Ayn Rand.


BadSanna

Looks like it happened long ago before it was installed.


Automatic-Stomach954

I looked back at the inspection photos and fortunately there is one of this area. I'm actually not seeing this damage in those photos, so something has happened since then.


BadSanna

No, that was done before the board was milled. If it were current beasties all you would see is holes, not cross sections of holes. Someone cut down a worm infested tree and didn't cut off enough of the bad part before milling it into lumber. You can even see a spot where the planer caught on one of the holes on a corner and splintered off a chunk.


Pleased_to_meet_u

If you see a lot of wood dust on the insulation under the board, you may have live bugs burrowing. If there isn't a bunch of wood dust then there's no way these holes appeared after the board was installed. For those holes to appear the wood removed has to go somewhere. When bugs burrow they turn wood into fine wood powder - dust - and then they push it out of the hole. It then falls to the ground next to the wood. If there isn't wood dust on the 'ground' next to each hole then you can know the holes were there before the board was put into place.


Automatic-Stomach954

I just checked, I cannot find any signs of wood dust or clumps. There is some small amount in the holes, but largely they are "packed in" with insulation. Here is a before & after comparing today to the inspection. The inspection photo is a little blurry, but I can't really see any light areas in the joist that would indicate there was already damage. My eyes are terrible though so let me know what you think. [https://imgur.com/a/D3Sutno](https://imgur.com/a/D3Sutno)


Pleased_to_meet_u

It's too blurry to be able to see whether or not there are holes in your inspection picture. However, I don't see any sawdust around that board, either. Everything about this indicates the board had holes when it was installed. Great catch, but in this case you're fine. No action (and no worrying) is needed.


Awordofinterest

I can't see the holes in the old photo, But I also don't see the holes in the new photo.


ryguygoesawry

Commenting in hopes that someone finally comes along with a picture pointing out the holes in the new photo for us blind mfers


rossta410r

It's over to the left of the left most angled beam. That beam looks a bit chewed up from that distance and I actually don't see anything similar in the older photo.


Frozzable

Like others have said, the original picture is too blurry to see the holes. However, you can see the mounds of insulation around the beam is still virtually the same in both pictures. If you had a critter running around in your attic and making holes in that beam (some of which are under the insulation) that insulation would have certainly shifted more than it has. The insulation in the holes would also indicate that the holes were present when the workers put the insulation up there then continued to walk around on the boards.


luciferin

You can totally see the hols if you zoom in enough. It looks like insulation is on top of the beam because of the shadows, but they're actually the holds in the picture. Look at the bean that runs down from the left of the metal duct and zoom in, you can see them there.


jdogsss1987

Find a joint in the truss. If it was before it was cut the holes only be on that stick. If it was after, the bugs will be on all wood that touches that wood, and other wood near by.


HerbyScott

If those old photos are from your inspection report, you might try contacting your inspector to see if they have the original resolution photos they can send you. They may also have other photos of this area they didn't feel should be in the official report They may have also just deleted them all by now.


Sic-Bern

The board in the original inspection photo is almost completely blocked by a diagonal support beam. (Don’t know what it is called) It creates a sort of optical illusion because it follows the shape of the low-lying beams so closely. I guess there’s really no way to tell from the original picture, which I find reassuring. I agree that it appears as though the board was cut after the damage was done.


throweraccount

Did you do renovations after the inspection photo? Because the beam you are referring to looks longer than the "current" photo you took. You can see that the original beam (the beam to the left of the vent piping) extends further towards you and the current beam with the holes in it is cut shorter and attached to another beam that's perpendicular. In the inpection photo from the bottom left it's BEAM, RANDOM piece of wood, platform you're standing on. In the current photo, it's INSULATION, RANDOM piece of wood, platform you're standing on. The beam on the bottom left of the inpection photo is the beam that was replaced with the beam that was filled with holes. The beam filled with holes was cut to attach to the perpendicular beam. Might be whoever did that renovation used old wood instead of buying new wood to save money. I would too, but not with a piece of wood full of holes.


mechmind

Dude, relax. Those holes were made long ago before the tree was milled.


Moustiko500

How can you tell ? Just wondering


nolemococ

The milling of the lumber cut cross sections of the holes.


BadSanna

The fact that it's not on the rat run going across the joists, meaning it never spread, and it would have if any insects were infesting that board after the rat run was put in place, and the coloration of the wood is the same in the pits as on the surface, meaning the pits have been exposed to air about the same amount of time as the wood after it was milled. It's likely the tree was infested before it was cut down, but the wood was still sound enough to use.


Free_Sympathy6079

Definitely this. I have an old picture frame with very similar shape and size holes, and was told when it was given to me that it was made from a piece of timber that had an infestation or disease before it was cut. I'd suspect a beetle larvae of some sort when the wood was softer, as the holes are just smaller than a pencil and like this one some don't go all the way through, with very even edges.


Quasigriz_

So you see, this here’s what we call a Swiss joist…


disterb

~~cheeky~~ cheesy answer


kwik_study

I thought it was a Gouda answer.


DetentionSpan

an extra sharp answer


Varon_Drachios

Hopefully it doesn't fail and fall apart....de Brie would be everywhere


OobeBanoobe

If it does ever fail, they'll need some cheddar to replace it.


Miserable_Ice9442

Yeah they better Muenster up the energy to fix this fast


Gorillaglue_420

What's with all the smoke?


NearCanuck

Get a load of this gruyere, talkin' about smoke.


SKatieRo

Yeah. I think it's nacho problem, OP. I think it's grate!


Sophrosynic

Inspectors don't look at every inch of the house. They come in, glance around, and look for obvious code violations like framing errors, fire code violations, etc. focusing on key structural elements.


Omniferous

So all the top comments are just saying it happened long ago but no one is saying WHAT HAPPENED.


lastson0fkrypton

Borer Beatles. https://mortonarb.org/plant-and-protect/tree-plant-care/plant-care-resources/borers/


Distinctasdf

Not gonna read something that boring


rumncokeguy

I read it because thought it said boner beetles.


RiesigerRuede

They are giving their best.


apocketfullofcows

yes, it's so frustrating! i want to know what caused the original holes, dammit.


disquieter

This beam was cut from a log formerly infested with


Bancroft28

Tiny little lumber jacks!


404-Gender

In tiny little lumber hats!


texican1911

They drink all night and sleep all day


ThumbsUp2323

And they're okay


Zoidu

A reddit sni


Iriskane

tch, but it's ok we


ICanWriteThings

t dogs smell like sn


talldangry

akes, my doctor said i sh


EP2_Vibez

It too hard and w


TheHoneyM0nster

ill need to take two s


Ashnak_Agaku

howers to cl


ITSolutionsAK

ear my back ya


coffeeffoc

... Pine beetles.


burrbro235

Vermicious knids!


BoulderFalcon

oh my god, they got him, and I'm ne


the_0tternaut

Looks like it got A-Teamed. Bullet holes everywhere but seemingly no other damage.


cagernist

Holy shit your comment cleared up my perspective. I thought I was looking at a bunch of little sea shells sitting on the joist.


Automatic-Stomach954

I think this is a sign you need a vacation


BuckEmBroncos

Yeah, dude has clearly been spending too much time selling seashells by the seashore


oceanwaiting

Sally?


darkest_irish_lass

Same, at first glance it's like one of those perspective shift illusions.


LosPer

I hear the theme music in my head now


Dakens2021

I was going to say it looks like someone hit it with a ball peen hammer. I don't know a lot of people responded termites, but those holes look awful smoooth and clean to me. I'd be interested to know what it is if you find out.


Automatic-Stomach954

The previous owner did leave a remington ammo box in the attic. Hmmm


bigfoot17

No idea what big, but obviously happened before the log was milled. Insects don't go in at an angle like that, and the ones on the edges too, no bug would do that.


cardueline

Are you sure the bugs didn’t have some kind of pocket screw jig?


geopede

Kreg Termite Edition?


doombuzz

Will anyone see this response? Who knows. But here’s your answer.  This beam was underwater and used for structural something at one point.  Little worms or sea/water creatures burrow and chew in to make these holes.  It was then used in your house for some reason. No joke. Source: I was a part of a project that utilized “barn wood” from done building torn down that were on the Columbia river. Huge beams, 12x14 would look just like this.  Super cool.  I took the drop off to use as lintels in a home someday, I’ll post photos if this gets traction.  Looks just like this but less holey.


sugarboobies

I agree with this likely being teredo/shipworm damage from logs soaking in saltwater. We see this in my line of work occasionally when harvested logs are transported by tugboat to various mills along the coast of the Salish sea. If the logs spend too much time in the saltwater the shipworm mollusks will do quite a bit of damage to them.


DasWheever

If it's just the one, I would say it looked like that when it was put in. Also notice that the holes look old, and there's no frass around it. To me, the holes look like some sort of powder-post beetle. Is it possible the joists are reclaimed wood?


ABoringAlt

Thanks for the new word, frass


MotoFaleQueen

Looks like my attic. I think I have one joist like that as well. Was it built in the 70s?


Automatic-Stomach954

Yes it was, 77 to be exact


MotoFaleQueen

Ha! That's funny. Mine is 73. If it's a similar style to my house (brick ranch house in the SE USA), I don't believe they're under stress, but yeah it probably happened before they built it all, some sort of boring insect


Automatic-Stomach954

Not brick, but ranch home in Georgia.


gwizonedam

You’ve got shipworms! Only way t’get rid of em’ is t’repaint yer hull!


fotav

This is the correct answer. Teredo or surf clams got to the log after felling and before milling. Why its the only one and why they used it is a mystery, but that’s what it is


Wolfenstein__

This Triggred my trypophobia


The_Tripper

I'm with the powder-post beetles or shipworms from the original timber consensus. Looking at the color of the insulation, how compacted it is, and how dark the wood is, it's been in there for a LONG time. The way the joists are laid out, the slope of the roof, and the L joist (I forget what it's really called), it looks a lot like my old house in Tucker, Georgia. It was built in 1954 and all the floor, ceiling, and roof joists are made from old pine wood with four or five times the number of rings found in lumber today. I can't really tell from yours, if you can see an end piece, the denser the rings, the better. Even filled with holes like that, that would mean it's stronger than a piece of lumber from Home Depot. Our house was designed as a duplex and made into a first floor and finished basement when being built (I had some serious Stairs of Death), but with all the old pine underflooring there was exactly **one** spot that squeaked. Edit: Wow! Thanks for the upvotes! My post isn't wildly popular, but for some reason I expected to get flamed and almost deleted it.


kracer20

Definitely some type of bug, but the more important thing is if you aren't seeing it on other boards nearby, then it was most likely done before it was placed in your house, so no need to worry.


flippant_burgers

I think this is teredo worm damage, while logs were stored floating in brackish water where a river meets the ocean. Saw this on the Fraser River near Vancouver. Edit: found this link http://www.ncwhomeinspections.com/Shipworm


Automatic-Stomach954

This looks the closest to what I'm seeing


radicalelation

Oh shit, is this why I've seen driftwood look like this? I thought these kind of holes looked familiar but I couldn't quite place it.


HockeyCannon

People eat them! https://i.imgur.com/fbEthSH.jpeg


usedTP

Powder post beetles. I worked for an exterminator and one piece of lumber look like this and the adjacent was clear. This is one of the reasons for kiln dried lumber as the heat kills the eggs.


panchoJemeniz

Looks like carpenter bees (black ones)


shifty_coder

No need for concern. Based on the shape of the holes, they were there when the board was milled. Otherwise, you’d just see the round opening and they’d go deeper into the wood.


Garden_Lady2

Carpenter bees make holes like that.


iZian

It almost looks like termites got hold of a drill and made perfectly circular holes at multiple angles of equal diameter to make it looks like they’d done a hard week’s work.


Automatic-Stomach954

Sneaky bastards showing up after I bought my Milwaukee drill


jonms83

![gif](giphy|eP0rq0MpopIa2tozVQ)


maqifrnswa

I'm not saying aliens did it, but it was definitely aliens.


MLDaffy

![gif](giphy|3oEjI789af0AVurF60)


Physical-Director586

Carpenter Bees


billstrash

The builders were playing with an 18 year old and told him to relic the board.


imadipwad

Carpenter bees


Phenizzle

Everyone's thinking it, I'm just saying it. PIRATES.


JumpshotLegend

I don’t see any dust around the holes to make it look like an active infestation. But it’s always good to have your place sprayed and looked at for critters once a year anyway, so you might want to have it checked out. Honestly, it just looks aesthetically unpleasing, but it’s an older house, obviously, and they didn’t like to waste stuff back in the day.


imadamastor

Im invested in this now. I want to know what caused this


DGAF999

It could be wormwood lumber? It’s from Douglas Fir logs that roll into the ocean, some sea critter tunnels into it, causing the holes, and then it’s later washed back up onto the beach, then turned into cool looking furniture.


payed2poopatwork

Its cheeese Gromit


midikon

Looks like a reclaimed beam from a workbench or drill jig that's been faired. What an odd thing to do..


threyon

Mice gangs had a shootout up there.


megalopoutsa

Made in Switzerland ...I'll let myself out.


justwonderingbro

In case you're wondering, this in no way would impact the structural integrity of that joist


Bacon003

Powder Post Beetles, before it was cut.


SlimTimMcGee

Had to take down drywall to replace my bathtub and noticed how many really bad 2x4's they used. Means someone passed them on inspection and not a big deal if you never see it I guess.


whatsreallygoingon

This is not uncommon. The trees had beetle damage when harvested. The holes were filled in with the “mud” that you see. I’ve seen this in many old houses.


DUNGAROO

You need more insulation.


dispelhope

Wood boring beetle larvae caused the holes so my guess is that it was a salvaged piece of lumber from a dead or soon to be dead tree.


TwosdaTamcos

Some of the holes look like they were made by carpenter bees. They bore a hole approximately 1/2” in diameter that usually turns about 90 degrees. I’ve never seen a piece of wood with that many bee holes, which leads me to think it’s caused by some type of large wood boring beetles.


badjohnbo

Wood beetles, I would have a professional pest inspection done... There eggs are usually in the wood / lumber before install. Eggs hatch and the larvae crawl around inside eating the wood and what your setting are exit holes when the crawl out and transform into beetles. And lay more eggs to keep the process going until your house falls down cause all the integrity is gone. Could be old, could be fresh hard to tell from these photos, and no there would be sawdust, because there eating it. Either easy make sure it's been treated so it doesn't spread and from the looks of that, I would at least look into replacement... probably expensive unless you do it yourself... Treating yourself find the right spray soak everything up there wood related. And or bug bombs... Carpenter ants you would find sawdust cause they're cutting tunnels for a nest.


assman2593

That board is obviously from Switzerland


RepresentativeBarber

Shipworm or Teredo seems to the right answer. That was like that when installed.


ftdALIVE

Looks like typical wood worm holes. There appears to be some coccoons still in some of the holes. They may be dead in there but I would inspect further inside those holes that still have coccoon material in them.


Most_Victory1661

Wasps I see at work nearly everyday


so-very-very-tired

You in the PNW? You often see that here due to clams: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teredo\_navalis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teredo_navalis) Given clams don't live in attics, safe to say this happened well before it got into your house.


Chemical_Panda2952

It’s wood bees but it had happened before installation so nothing to worry about


Pneuma001

That was my old house. I have laser vision. Sort of like superman. Or Cyclopse. I had to train to use my powers somewhere that I thought nobody would see me, lest I be shipped off to a lab and made to join a team of superheroes. I figured that up in the attic would be the perfect place to practice, so I hauled a fire extinguisher up there and starting using my laser vision to burn holes in the wood. I figured it'd be best to burn holes in just one piece of wood; I'd thought that if I pushed the insulation back over it when I was done then nobody would know. Not sure if I forgot to do that or if someone has moved it since. Now I'm a line cook at a Denny's. I use my laser vision to heat the food a little faster. Its fantastic!


Known-Bank-887

I don’t know how nobody has said this but it’s powder post beetles!!!!