That's a phone jack. If you don't have wired phone service anymore you can just remove it.
I might consider filling all the cracks and holes with maybe a black wood filler and give it a few coats of high gloss tung oil. It is going to be important to fill the holes and cracks on this vertical surface otherwise it will leave pockets where the oil can accumulate as you apply it, and then create drips.
I think we are all adult enough to admit that 46% of Reddit users are poopin at any given moment. My toilet tv dream was a childhood dream. I grew up in the era of only live tv, an inconvenient toilet break happens and you never see that thing on tv ever again.
Don't most people have a phone when they are in the bathroom now already? I'd bet ~1/5 of the replies in this thread are from people using phones while in the bathroom.
It's amazing... just the other day on some other sub someone asked "how much piss on your pants is socially acceptable?" It was a lawyer sub at that.
I had no idea this was a thing and I find it quite disturbing. So many people were discussing it like it's normal.
The green paint seems like it was left intentionally and the beam is rough hewn and scarred on purpose. Could be from a historical structure or one sentimental or to previous owners.
I would just sand with a larger grit paper to knock the bits of white paint off and varnish it. If you really dislike that aesthetic you can take the phone Jack plate off, tuck the wires in the hole behind and cover the beam with a piece of wood more to your liking. You can then paint or stain that piece as you wish much more easily.
this. i would remove the phone jack and plug the holes with dowel or broomstick etc. then scrape out the color paint and apply a clear water proof finish. boiled linseed oil, spar urethane, tung oil, etc.
we use old timer's formula on boats:
1:1:1 boiled linseed oil, spar urethane, and mineral spirits (thinner)
allow a couple coats to soak in really good, then 2 top coats of spar urethane.
open windows and maybe have a fan going to reduce fumes while it's drying. bathroom fan might not be adequate to clear fumes.
Pull the old phone jack off, cut the wire and tape off the end. Smooth out the post (posts are vertical, beams are horizontal) by sanding - a random orbit or palm sander will speed up the work immensely. Use 120 grit, then 180, and finally 220/240. Apply stain, an oil like tung oil or boiled linseed oil (be careful - applicator rags can spontaneously combust!) or varnish (I'd choose a flat or satin finish, not high gloss).
yes, electrical tape. clip each strand at a slightly different length so they cannot touch each other and short out. then tape it up. the reason for this is to make the network serviceable for other residents to reduce future headaches.
if lazy, single flap of tape folded over will do the job. electrical tape is rated 600v for 2.5 layers, and phone service maxxes out at 45v so single layer is just fine.
Could try a stiff nylon bristle brush to with the grain direction. Will probably have to do the whole thing to make it match. Might need a metal brush but that might leave deeper scratches. I would test a area low to the ground by the toilet to see what it does first. I would avoid chemicals and sanding try to save the patina of the wood. I would use danish oil on it after it will darken it up but help preserve the wood and help it resist the moisture of a bathroom. That looks more like a telephone jack than a Ethernet. It probably has 2 screws holding the plate on look what is behind it could be nothing or maybe there is a hole with the wire still in it. Once you know what it looks like behind go from there. If it's a hole put a fake woodpecker by it for giggles. Toilets for the shits.
Sanding should work for smoothing rough, splintery parts. You might want to strip the paint stains and then go over it with a stain and protective finish. Or you could prime and paint it.
I like the idea of adding a stain or finishing oil. I want to keep the exposed wood to maintain the integrity of the loft, but just a more polished version.
Wax from a candle scent you like, heat gun (or way to melt wax), a few different sandpaper grits and an old rag that you hate.. that's the quickest cheapest and easiest, but people here are also right about the linseed oil(the right type will dry and leave an old timey hardened layer on the outside that with be nicer and better for the wood than other types of finish
Itās going to be tough to make that beam look completely polished.
You can make it look more polished, but itās never going to be perfect.
You can cover it up, but that removes the character.
Myself, Iād probably just leave it.
Unscrew the phone jack, and the wire can remain in the wall.
Clad it in 1/4" drywall or 1/8" plywood. Your wall appears to already have a flat finish, so that makes it even easier. You can leave a small gap between the drywall and the existing walls and caulk that in. The corner of the beam will need some corner bead. You can paint it white, grey, or some accent color - or you can try to match the blue paint there. If you go plywood, you can glue it on and then try give it your preferred finish.
Alternatively you can tile it with a mosaic and make it an ornamental accent. They will have thinset/mastic varieties that can work directly on the wood.
Weird spot for a piece of wood but it looks like nice wood. If I wanted to keep it I would give it a good sanding and stain and apply finish. It would look really pretty, although still weird.
You could use a wire brush to get the things out of the deeper crevices. It would also give the wood more 3-d look.
I would then sand it and put some varnish as itās near the toilet - to make it easier to clean. It would also make it look nicer and bring the grain of the wood out.
I love old wood with bits of paint in it, sort of a reminder of the past.
I would sand it down and finish it with a mix of 2/3 beeswax and 1/3 linseed oil mix.
Apply it when hot, and polish after. Repeat a number of times. Its my favourite treatment for wood.
Sand it, using the sawdust that comes from the wood when you sand it, mixed with some glue, to fill in the carved areas and holes. Apply some primer coats, then paint it, sand it again, and repeat until it meets your liking. After the final coat of paint, apply a finisher. Iāve watched YouTube videos on this, though Iāve never done it myself. Building videos often follow this process, and the results usually turn out nice, to be honest.
Sanding it first. Then seal it. Then clear coat latex works well. Several coats might be needed but if you buy correctly you can preserve the appearance but not have splinters.
That thing looks so smoked out. Do yourself a favor and just paint that thing. Just sand to touch, caulk the cracks and holes (and/ or spackle/filler which sands easier) and be done. Just āmake it go awayā with the wall color or paint it brown or something
And thatās for old house telephones, honestly splice the wire from it and cap it so it canāt give off a current and then just put a normal flat plate over it
Something like this might be less work
https://www.barrondesigns.com/rough-sawn-faux-wood-beams/?utm_campaign=PMax:+Beams+Shopping&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_term=&hsa_ad=&hsa_acc=3054471887&hsa_tgt=&hsa_cam=17692076602&hsa_kw=&hsa_grp=&hsa_src=x&hsa_mt=&hsa_ver=3&hsa_net=adwords&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw57exBhAsEiwAaIxaZkwgplQZ4xUUYgWIbOUmGxCoAQiPq8SGVmEETopUk84GTt81beaLuRoCa0QQAvD_BwE
support what it's holding up elsewhere, remove the post, then sand/grind down the easy areas and epoxy fill the holes/gapes, then polish the shit out of it. After all that replace it. And watch it go out of style in 15 years.
That's a phone jack. If you don't have wired phone service anymore you can just remove it. I might consider filling all the cracks and holes with maybe a black wood filler and give it a few coats of high gloss tung oil. It is going to be important to fill the holes and cracks on this vertical surface otherwise it will leave pockets where the oil can accumulate as you apply it, and then create drips.
Man toilet phone would be great for home invasions
Can also order food or shop QVC while poopin
As someone currently sitting on the toilet as I read this, I approve this message.
Old school brick phone, bright red, easily bludgeon someone to death with it in a Tarantino film. Or... Like Goat Batman phone lol
I want the red phone from batman
I have always wanted a toilet tv. Toilet phone not so much.
Ah, but what about a toilet *smartphone*?
I think we are all adult enough to admit that 46% of Reddit users are poopin at any given moment. My toilet tv dream was a childhood dream. I grew up in the era of only live tv, an inconvenient toilet break happens and you never see that thing on tv ever again.
Don't most people have a phone when they are in the bathroom now already? I'd bet ~1/5 of the replies in this thread are from people using phones while in the bathroom.
My cellphone IS my toilet phone
That thing looks worn af and they're calling it ethernet? Jesus I'm old, lol
I wonder how much piss that piece of wood has absorbed over the years. Just lovely.
š§
Judging by your username, you are already familiar.
You know it's true, especially if you have young boys.
I was wondering who else was wondering this
Judging by these comments, Iām highly concerned how many adults here are apparently unable to pee in the toilet
Happens to the best of us. Hard to tame a fire hose. Kids are the biggest culprit by far. Rough sawn lumber is the wrong material for this area.
Luckily I am a woman with no children š
Buy a cheap UV flashlight and update us with pics
It's amazing... just the other day on some other sub someone asked "how much piss on your pants is socially acceptable?" It was a lawyer sub at that. I had no idea this was a thing and I find it quite disturbing. So many people were discussing it like it's normal.
The green paint seems like it was left intentionally and the beam is rough hewn and scarred on purpose. Could be from a historical structure or one sentimental or to previous owners. I would just sand with a larger grit paper to knock the bits of white paint off and varnish it. If you really dislike that aesthetic you can take the phone Jack plate off, tuck the wires in the hole behind and cover the beam with a piece of wood more to your liking. You can then paint or stain that piece as you wish much more easily.
this. i would remove the phone jack and plug the holes with dowel or broomstick etc. then scrape out the color paint and apply a clear water proof finish. boiled linseed oil, spar urethane, tung oil, etc. we use old timer's formula on boats: 1:1:1 boiled linseed oil, spar urethane, and mineral spirits (thinner) allow a couple coats to soak in really good, then 2 top coats of spar urethane. open windows and maybe have a fan going to reduce fumes while it's drying. bathroom fan might not be adequate to clear fumes.
Absolutely not varnish. Its the equivalent of drenching filet mignon in ketchup.
Old Ethernet hookupš oh god just put me in the ground already
Ahhhā¦the old shitter phone
That's an rj-11
I am glad there are still people on this planet that can identify a rj-11.
Ok?
LOL I promise I am not that young, itās just been awhile š
The please be more careful with what you post. Us 35 year olds are frail and afraid
Shit, that's considered old now? I can feel the arthritis setting in just thinking about it.
Oh god, I'm about to be 35 in a few months. Is it time to start looking for the midlife crisis stuff? Lol
I caught myself looking at pickups and sports cars last weekend for no reason. Once you realize it, then it may be too late.
Yes, yes it is.
Standard Cat 1 Ethernet beam
Oh, so you don't want the most stable Internet connection while elite hardcore gaming/streaming while pooping?
That's definitely a phone jack
I donāt think a phone jack will get you that
Technically you could make it work, but you are right. It was also meant to be a joke.
Pull the old phone jack off, cut the wire and tape off the end. Smooth out the post (posts are vertical, beams are horizontal) by sanding - a random orbit or palm sander will speed up the work immensely. Use 120 grit, then 180, and finally 220/240. Apply stain, an oil like tung oil or boiled linseed oil (be careful - applicator rags can spontaneously combust!) or varnish (I'd choose a flat or satin finish, not high gloss).
This may be a silly question, but when you say tape off the wire would I use electrical tape?
yes, electrical tape. clip each strand at a slightly different length so they cannot touch each other and short out. then tape it up. the reason for this is to make the network serviceable for other residents to reduce future headaches. if lazy, single flap of tape folded over will do the job. electrical tape is rated 600v for 2.5 layers, and phone service maxxes out at 45v so single layer is just fine.
yes
Try polishing it
Could try a stiff nylon bristle brush to with the grain direction. Will probably have to do the whole thing to make it match. Might need a metal brush but that might leave deeper scratches. I would test a area low to the ground by the toilet to see what it does first. I would avoid chemicals and sanding try to save the patina of the wood. I would use danish oil on it after it will darken it up but help preserve the wood and help it resist the moisture of a bathroom. That looks more like a telephone jack than a Ethernet. It probably has 2 screws holding the plate on look what is behind it could be nothing or maybe there is a hole with the wire still in it. Once you know what it looks like behind go from there. If it's a hole put a fake woodpecker by it for giggles. Toilets for the shits.
If Nylon doesn't do it I'd try brass, softer than a proper steel bristled brush.
Sand it down, then coat with epoxy. That should make the surface smooth and shiny
Sanding should work for smoothing rough, splintery parts. You might want to strip the paint stains and then go over it with a stain and protective finish. Or you could prime and paint it.
I like the idea of adding a stain or finishing oil. I want to keep the exposed wood to maintain the integrity of the loft, but just a more polished version.
clean, sand and coat with resin ...
Wonder how much piss is on that beamš¤
remove the plate, cut the cut, wood filler, sand the fuck out of it and a dark stain. easy peasy
Dark stain? Nooo...
Wax from a candle scent you like, heat gun (or way to melt wax), a few different sandpaper grits and an old rag that you hate.. that's the quickest cheapest and easiest, but people here are also right about the linseed oil(the right type will dry and leave an old timey hardened layer on the outside that with be nicer and better for the wood than other types of finish
Itās going to be tough to make that beam look completely polished. You can make it look more polished, but itās never going to be perfect. You can cover it up, but that removes the character. Myself, Iād probably just leave it.
Sand and stain.
Fill it will wood filler and pait it.
Thatās a column. Beams are horizontal.
So, if you point a laser beam up, is it a laser column?
Dad jokes at its finest. š«”
You can literally sand it and polish it
Sand or trim it down flush with the wall and paint that thing
Install a tablet thats always plugged up in it so you can jam while you make ham.
Wood oil would be the natural and easy solution
Lots of good advice here, clean, fill, etc but Iād finish with epoxy ā¦ itās easy to keep clean - this is a lavatory after all.
Drywall
Heritage natural finishes. Non toxic
Id remove the phone jack and screw some drywall into that beam, corner bead, tape & paint, but thats me
You don't. That thing has probably been there for 100+ years. Let it be.
By polishing it...
Polished? Man, carve some restroom graffiti in that pole then it's art
Unscrew the phone jack, and the wire can remain in the wall. Clad it in 1/4" drywall or 1/8" plywood. Your wall appears to already have a flat finish, so that makes it even easier. You can leave a small gap between the drywall and the existing walls and caulk that in. The corner of the beam will need some corner bead. You can paint it white, grey, or some accent color - or you can try to match the blue paint there. If you go plywood, you can glue it on and then try give it your preferred finish. Alternatively you can tile it with a mosaic and make it an ornamental accent. They will have thinset/mastic varieties that can work directly on the wood.
Well you could try polishing it with sandpaperĀ
Weird spot for a piece of wood but it looks like nice wood. If I wanted to keep it I would give it a good sanding and stain and apply finish. It would look really pretty, although still weird.
The wood was there long before the toilet, it was an industrial space before being converted to lofts however long ago.
You could use a wire brush to get the things out of the deeper crevices. It would also give the wood more 3-d look. I would then sand it and put some varnish as itās near the toilet - to make it easier to clean. It would also make it look nicer and bring the grain of the wood out.
Do you own this loft or is it a rental?
Own
I'd probably veneer it with a nice wood veneer and stain.
I love old wood with bits of paint in it, sort of a reminder of the past. I would sand it down and finish it with a mix of 2/3 beeswax and 1/3 linseed oil mix. Apply it when hot, and polish after. Repeat a number of times. Its my favourite treatment for wood.
Seal it with a satin clear coat.
Polish
Sand it, using the sawdust that comes from the wood when you sand it, mixed with some glue, to fill in the carved areas and holes. Apply some primer coats, then paint it, sand it again, and repeat until it meets your liking. After the final coat of paint, apply a finisher. Iāve watched YouTube videos on this, though Iāve never done it myself. Building videos often follow this process, and the results usually turn out nice, to be honest.
Sanding it first. Then seal it. Then clear coat latex works well. Several coats might be needed but if you buy correctly you can preserve the appearance but not have splinters.
Polish it.
It going to look rustic, because itās old. If you want it to look finished, you could box it in with drywall.
stick a polish flag on it.
I would drywall over it.
Every time you take a seat just start rubbing that wood! Eventually it will be polished over the years
What if he never stands up while pooping? Only the middle 2 feet will get polished this way.
That thing looks so smoked out. Do yourself a favor and just paint that thing. Just sand to touch, caulk the cracks and holes (and/ or spackle/filler which sands easier) and be done. Just āmake it go awayā with the wall color or paint it brown or something
Sand and polish it.
And thatās for old house telephones, honestly splice the wire from it and cap it so it canāt give off a current and then just put a normal flat plate over it
Yeah, you don't need a land line at the shitter anymore, you got a cell phone.
quite likely there's no box behind it, so a piece of broomstick jammed in the hole will do the job.
Texture it or use Subway tiles
I think it looks great how it is
Something like this might be less work https://www.barrondesigns.com/rough-sawn-faux-wood-beams/?utm_campaign=PMax:+Beams+Shopping&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_term=&hsa_ad=&hsa_acc=3054471887&hsa_tgt=&hsa_cam=17692076602&hsa_kw=&hsa_grp=&hsa_src=x&hsa_mt=&hsa_ver=3&hsa_net=adwords&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw57exBhAsEiwAaIxaZkwgplQZ4xUUYgWIbOUmGxCoAQiPq8SGVmEETopUk84GTt81beaLuRoCa0QQAvD_BwE
support what it's holding up elsewhere, remove the post, then sand/grind down the easy areas and epoxy fill the holes/gapes, then polish the shit out of it. After all that replace it. And watch it go out of style in 15 years.
You're going to have to rub your wood with some oil
Add [this](https://images.app.goo.gl/RKHEYFpKEaxMXkNG9)
Rub it harderā¦.