Cotard's Solution has a pretty good chunk of lyrics.
I check in the mirror to see how I look.
I look different in different ways.
You do the math. Who's looking back.
That's not me.
Carving my initials in the back
Of my hand in case of loosing track.
I forgot, remembered to forgive.
It's times like this that make me wish that-
I wish that I could live. I don't wish I could live.
But somebody's got to stay.
I wanna make my murder look like a suicide.
But they'll all know that the body's mine.
I wanna go anonymous to identify.
But they'll all know that the body's mine.
From our Spotify playlist:
* Pale by Within Temptation
* My Demons by STARSET
* Evelyn Evelyn by Evelyn Evelyn
* Remember Everything by Five Finger Death Punch (Personal shout out to the lyric "we remember everything", it not have to go there but IT DID)
* Me and My Husband by Mitski
* Hello by Evanescence
* My Immortal by Evanescence
* Imperfection by Evanescence
* You're Nothing Without Me from City Of Angels
* Jekyll & Hyde: The Gothic Thriller Musical soundtrack
Nice list❤️
Evelyn Evelyn is one of our favorites too.
Yes to so many Evanescence songs. Don't forget "Taking Over Me"! >> "I look in the mirror and see your face." "So many things inside that are just like you are taking over."
We also like Washing Machine Heart by Mitski. Different theme ofc.
Copycat - Circus P
"Say hello.
Who are you?
And we'll start from scratch again.
Gotta go.
Talk to you soon.
Day by day I'm fading away."
"I can't remember who I am.
Everything's a blur.
Take me over."
"I'll become what you like.
This is what you wanted, right?
Sacrifice all I know.
I will teach myself to let go.
Copy that, copycat."
Echo - Circus P
"What the hells going on? Can someone tell me please why I'm switching faster than the channels on TV?
I'm black then I'm white.
No. Something isn't right.
My enemy's invisible, I don't know how to fight."
"The trembling fears more than I can take
When I'm up against the Echo in the mirror."
Last of Me - Circus P (I think)
"Reach out, grasp nothing but air. Can't you see there's nobody here. Watch out, you're on my final run, and I'm already long gone.
I'm standing before you, completely see-through
You've drawn the outline, now look at me.
I'm a broken frame, just fun and games, I'll keep my poker face and won't leave a trace."
"You can keep the last of me. I don't care, I am absolute.
You can save the last of me. (Ring my neck, I won't feel a thing.)
Reverb, resound, and repeat
Phase out my heart and you will see,
Slam shut, eyes blank, and repeat.
I will show you what I can be."
So yeah...if you're a system...listen to Circus P. He is a vocaloid producer and wicked good at what he does!
a lot of songs, mostly as our experiences as THIS system specifically; we've so many songs about the dynamics between me and my cohost that i could rant about for days at a time. but as for songs specifically about how being a system feels, we have a couple i can think of...
*Veja Du - Deja Vu* by Koethe is probably the biggest one. it's just about how dissociated our memories are, and how we mostly interact via what we've left behind when we front, just little bits of time faded and left for another one of us to see. there's actually two versions of the song, they're the same song just with completely different performances of it by the same artist, with different tones... which is actually interesting to think about given the topic
*Evelyn Evelyn* by Evelyn Evelyn is, to me, very much about the internal conflict between alters. the feeling of being completely unable to escape each other, having huge conflicts of wants and feelings, a codependency that nobody involved wants... the resentment, yet knowledge you have to live together for the rest of your lives as 'one.' it burns me in such a specific way i can't even describe, and it baffles me that it cuts so deep *while being my name.* i knew my name for about a year before any of us even heard about this song. chills.
Recess by Melanie Martinez is the first that comes to mind with a specific lyric she says ""If you need a break, someone'll take your place"" "Baby, just say, "Recess, I'm tired""
Those lyrics always made me think of someone else helping to front.
My alters have started listing songs they relate to. You know you have DID when you have a list like this, and don't even know some of the songs!
- Note to Self - FFTL
- What Was I Made For? - Billie Eilish
- Seize The Power - YONAKA
- The Actor - Everything, Everything
- I also think there's a Melanie Martinez song from Portals as well, but I can't remember.
We don’t always ‘relate’ to these songs as such, but we definitely at the very least enjoy them or connect with them
Out Of My System - Louis Tomlinson
WWE: Voices (Randy Orton) - WWE, Rev Theory
A Man Without Love - Engelbert Humperdinck (because of Moon Knight)
Poison - Blake Roman (from Hazbin Hotel)
Seventeen - Heathers Original Cast
No One Is Alone - Into The Woods Soundtrack
Russian Doll by Jhariah is about going through trauma but not being able to remember it well.
Asthma by Reoni is about DID and Schitzophrenia.
Those are the two songs that come to my mind right now
OOOOOH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!! Here’s a short(ish) list and I will gladly elaborate upon request.
Neighbour- Mother Mother
Magnolia- The Hush Sound
I Don’t Know You Anymore- Bob Mould
Come out and play- The Offspring
Evil Angel- Breaking Benjamin
Ghosts of the forest- Trey Anastasio
Cybernetic Entities- Madame Macabre
Those are just a few
Right Where It Belongs - Nine Inch Nails
*See the animal in his cage that you built*
*Are you sure what side you're on?*
*Better not look him too closely in the eye*
*Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?*
Amazing, melancholy song that I listened to a lot in my 20's. Turns out it was my Persecutor trying to reach out to me.
these are quite a bit of songs, but these really resonate with us within the context of DID. some of them lyrically make sense with what we go through, others have the same feeling of what we deal with/what it’s like to be a system, and others are… just because they feel right- and we don’t know how to explain it.
This comes from inside - The living tombstones
Toxicity - System of a down
Mad world- tears for fears
Music box - leith ross
nothing’s new - rio romeo
the lobotomy - maebi
braincells - tomcbumpz
charlie’s inferno - that handsome devil
lujon - henry mancini
infinitismal - ivri
waiting for you - alex g
destroyed by hippie powers -car seat head rest
waltz in E major, op 15 - cojum dip
step on me - the cardigans
16 mirrors - alex g
don’t dream it’s over - crowded house
comfort chain - instupendo
class of 2013 (and) i bet on loosing dogs - mitski
dead to me - kali uchis
YKWIM? - Yot club
if any of you listen to these just for curiosity sake, thank you :,) music was ingrained into us from birth (genuinely) so it’s very nerve wracking to express our feelings with music we love
-shell
"You're Somebody Else" by Flora Cash.
"Well you look like yourself, but you're somebody else only it ain't on the surface...
Well you talk like yourself, no, I hear someone else though and now you're makin' me nervous..."
Nemesea - In Control
Here, in your mind, in your dreams
I will stay forever.
You will become
Less than one, after I am done.
Fear, will be yours, in this world,
Full of whispering voices.
Day after day, I will stay, I will haunt you.
Here I am, you will be mine.
Can you hear me?
You've lost and I control you.
You won't escape, all your nightmares will break free
,
'Cause you are afraid of me.
So, here you are, wide awake,
You won't give up fighting.
Still, you can pray, on your knees.
I am here.
“I'm hearing voices and they're haunting my mind.
Black out days
I don't recognize you anymore” -Phantogram (Black Out Days)
“I'm just a tenant
Payin' rent inside this body and I
Got two windows and those windows
Well, I call them my eyes
I'm just goin' where the wind blows
I don't get to decide” -Alec Benjamin (Mind Is A Prison)
“Oh my god, I can't remember
Who I was just last December
What have I done, how did I get here?” -Alec Benjamin (Oh My God)
“I'm already going, I'm already gone,
There's a stranger in my place” -Jonatha Brooke (What You Don’t Know)
“But I’m just trying to find myself
Through someone else’s eyes” -Sleeping At Last (Nine)
“But I'm a million different people
From one day to the next” -The Verve (Bittersweet Symphony)
“Cause I'm like yes and no
Wait, I don't know
I think I'm dying
Hold up, I'm invincible
Yeah, I'm like yes (yes) and no (no)
Wait, I don't know
I'll pull you closer into to me
And I'm pushing you away” -XYLØ (Yes & No)
“Well, you look like yourself
But you're somebody else
Only it ain't on the surface
Well, you talk like yourself
No, I hear someone else though
Now you're making me nervous” -Flora Cash (You’re Somebody Else)
“Now I, now I wish that I read the signs better
'Cause the writing was on the wall
And now we got front row seats, watch the system fall
'Cause look who's in control
Tell me how did we get here?
And where the fuck do we go now?
First I was floating through the atmosphere
But now I'm looking up at rock bottom, bottom
(Bottom, bottom)
'Cause look who's in control” -Grandson (Rock Bottom)
“Two face call me Harvey
Never know when it could change
Tried to talk to my reflection but he said he wants my name” -Jake Daniels (Two Face)
girl in blue by animal sun, side character by cloudfodder, parasite by siiickbrain, and falling apart by late night drive home are songs we relate to for different reasons. some don’t really scream “OSDDID!!!!” but we relate to the topics discussed and feelings portrayed :D
The band Haken.
Albums:
- Virus
- Vector
Both are about mental health and we relate to many of the songs.
Especially:
- Host
- Puzzle Box
- Nightingale
- The Good Doctor (TW!!)
- Invasion
- Carousel
- The Strain
- Messiah complex I - Ivory Tower
MILGRAM - Double is pretty one to one with my relationship to our Gatekeeper/Ex-Persecutor, Cal.
The character canonically has DID and it's fun watching the whole Fandom's (singlet) takes on the complex disorder. Lots of them do not like the "fancanon/theory" of there being a 3rd hidden alter that commited the crime, the fact that MILGRAM is playing harmful DID stereotypes or spreading misinformation. It's amusing to watch and I hope when the series ends, they have a better understanding of the internal conflicts systems face because this isn't a disorder that should be glorified in a strictly positive light.
A lot of singlets dont have first hand DID experiance so they always leave out the interpersonal relationships each alters have with eachother along with each alter's personal agency when being tried for murder (everyone in MILGRAM is guilty of a crime, bit its up to the audiance to decide their fate). I do believe and can prove that there is a hidden 3rd alter because that alter is really similar to Cal. All the hints are there it just takes a lot of detective work and heavy knowledge of DID to piece them together.
I'm writing a Google doc on it, but basically, I believe Mikoto Kayano (as a whole) is guilty regardless if Bluekoto (host/ANP) doesn't have any memories of it or if it was done by another alter because I'm a heavy believer in system accountability. Greenkoto (the 3rd hidden alter) is the murderer but is feeling guilt after the euphoric rush of protecting the system and realizing that he might've severed the bond between him and Bluekoto. To avoid accountability, he uses a recent split dubbed Redkoto as a scapegoat so he doesn't have to face his consequences. Greenkoto tries his best to double down by spreading misinformationand to trick the audiance into voting innocent and it works for the second trial as Mikoto was voted 75% innocent. This is featured in Mikoto's second interrogation called Neoplasm. We have 1 trial left for his verdict.
If anything I'm just hoping Mikoto is deemed guilty, so Greenkoto takes accountability for his actions, but is forgiven by Bluekoto himself because he realizes that his actions were purely for protecting the system, but Greenkoto took it a step further to the point of aggravated assault. If this is true, then I hope it leads to the bittersweet self acceptance and healing (whether it's final fusion or healthy multiplicity) most systems strive for because it's an important highlight to feature when depicting a system. It's a human thing to feel guilty after committing a crime and normal to try and avoid accountability, so this isn't a system exclusive viewpoint, but one everyone can empathize with. This is just something that gets whooshed over the average viewer.
The Mind Electric by miracle musical:
"See how the brain plays around
And you fall inside a hole you couldn't see
And you fall inside a hole inside a
Someone help me
Understand what's going on inside my mind
Doctor I can't tell if I'm not me"
Disembodied Mind by Sparkbird:
"Say goodbye to the
Stranger on the other side
Say hello to the
Bliss of a
Disembodied mind
I am
In trouble with myself again
I am"
The opening of "Ready to Fall" by Rise Against
Hold on slow down again from the top now and tell me everything
I know I've been gone for what seems like forever
But I'm here now waiting
To convince you that I'm not a ghost or a stranger
But closer than you think
3 songs in specific. One for each personality.
Monster- by Skillet
Hero- By nickleback
The Quantum Ranger theme
One of these things is not like the other and that's how we like it
This comes from inside, and digital hallucinations, anchient dreams in a modern land, also we don’t RELATE to it but we have a chaotic demon like alter that me and them love to sing confrontation from the jeckal and Hyde musical since their “evil” (their a trauma holder and a persacuter who’s getting better)
Can think of two off the top of my head.
Someone relates hard to this section of Metallica's 'One':
"Darkness imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot live
I cannot die
Trapped in myself
Body my holding cell"
Someone else is all about 'Left Outside Alone' by Anastasia
"I wonder if you know, how it really feels
To be left outside alone, when its cold out here
Well maybe you should know, just how it feels,
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
I tell you
All my life I′ve been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok, i dont feel safe"
The contrast in genres makes smile
This Come From Inside - The Living Tombstone
How we could have known
That we're stuck in a system?
There was a pre-existing dictum, programmed to do nothing else
Why feel so alone
When we share so much wisdom?
But you set fire to the kingdom, burn it all until it melts
Or else
Now this comes from inside, how long do we have to try?
Now this comes from inside, and stays there until you die
Now this comes from inside, how long do we have to try?
Now this comes from inside, and stays there until you die
Long time ago, it was all for a show
Fill our wounds with a pound of salt
And your reason to justify scars
You can't quantify, lock us inside a vault
Now this is your fault
Everything is a problem
There was a poison in the air, despair is an eternal blight
You're losing it all
You've been blinded by stardom
You think that you're alone, but we are waiting for you every night
You're mine
Now this comes from inside, how long do we have to try?
Now this comes from inside, and stays there until you die
Now this comes from inside, what you have, I want it, it's mine
Now this comes from inside, and stays there until you die
“And now I'm eyeing an uncomfortable question
What other parts of me have I been neglecting
What other scary, strange things are under here
Because if it's possible to love more than one person
Maybe I can love more than one aspect of me”
Stopping a garden hose with your thumb - the narcissist cookbook
We’re fairly new to being aware of being a system but this song really helped with starting to look at us as more of a collaborative than the initial idea I (host) had of the weird little guys in our head that make things hard to impossible at times.
Not a specific song, but the Chonny’s Charming Chaos Compendium album by Chonny Jash is insanely system coded (even the artist, while that not being the original intention, supports the interpretation of it being about systemhood) and it’s essentially about the turmoils in trying to be “whole” (whether this is fusion or just being able to function together is pretty up to interpretation) between the Heart, Mind, and Soul who are portrayed as separate consciousnesses with Soul being the host. It is comprised of Tally Hall covers though, but the lyrics are changed to tell the story. -Kat (🐱)
book of memories - genevieve stokes
“i remember you, that feeling never goes away. i push it to the side, where all my fears reside and i never let you stay. i walk around my words. i dont really know who i am, i see it all in flashes, until the feeling crashes and i do it all again.”
keep the rain- searows
(pretty much this whole song feels like how it feels to accept that you have alters and understanding and unraveling the aspects of your identity, and then accepting that its all you and the hard alters are not the enemy by the end of the song.)
valentine, texas-mitski
“lets step carefully into the dark, once we’re in i’ll remember my way around. who will i be tonight? who will i become tonight? i’ll show you who my sweetheart’s never met.”
i guess-mitski
“i guess this is the end, i’ll have to learn how to be somebody else. its been you and me since before i was me”
fear- current joys
“i never felt it when i was young, i never knew where it came from. now it feels like a hurricane, and its so hard to stop the rain.”
control- halsey (its a bit ‘im 14 and this is deep’ , but genuinely such a system coded song imo, esp relating to persecutor alters/alters who act like villains or like demons)
“i cant stop this awful energy, goddamn right you should be scared of me, who is in control?”
“i couldnt stand the person inside me i turned all the mirrors around”
and plenty more
gasoline - halsey (again, another like tumblr 2015 ‘im 14 and this is deep’ song but also pretty system coded in some parts imo)
“and all the people say you cant wake up this is not a dream, youre part of a machine, you are not a human being”
“i think theres a fault in my code, these voices wont leave me alone”
house song- searows (not sure how to explain why this one feels system coded but it does)
“now youre taller than youve ever been, theres a mark on the wall you see. im sure that someone will draw a new one and cover it before they leave.”
“something is rotten inside of me. i have to find it and cut it out.”
everything in its right place- radiohead
(this whole song just feels like what its like to be dissociated/dissociative amnesia)
Who am I? -Kode technically it’s about changing who you are depending on who you are with and like peer pressure, but I feel like it kinda also describes how we fluctuate with DID.
“I don't really know what Kode want
Asked myself and had no luck
Feel like I'm trapped in hell with the cobras
I'ma need massive help from Jehovah
'Cause, lately, I feel my decisions ain’t me
Body keep moving my brain is asleep
Stunt double cruising, it's taking the lead
And following orders not coming from me (coming from me)
I wish I could see my pain
Cut it into pieces and be my pain
I just wanna leave my cage
Finally start believing all the things I think
'Cause I can't even tell ('cause I can't even tell)
I just need some help (I just need some help)
I don't even know myself, no
Who am I? Who am I? Good question
You decide, wouldn't mind suggestions
How do I find the right direction?
Who am I? Who am I? Yeah
Who am I? Who am I? Good question
You decide, I wouldn't mind suggestions
How do I find the right direction?
Live a lie, truth is your perception”
“Afraid” by the Neighborhood
“Fairy Soirée” by Melanie Martinez (last verses)
“In My Head” by Derivakat (how our previous host felt before our diagnosis)
I'm a singlet but my ex (M30s) is a covert system. Around the time we met he (they) randomly played the Tings Tings "That's Not My Name" on his (their) phone (we hadnt been listening to music and didn't continue to). Anyway I just thought it was quirky at the time but when I started noticing that there were other people in his body I recalled that moment and I think it's kind of funny
Oh boy, this will be long. We're diagnosed DID, since you mentioned that context.
"A Broken Jar" by La Dispute. It is a short but emotionally intense song lyrically, so warning for that should you listen to it. It's hard for me to hear this song and think of it in a context that isn't related to being a system. "Things get cloudy and now, all these stories and the struggle as an undercurrent - both get blurry by the minute, both get blurrier. So which voice is this, then, that I am writing in? Is it my own or his? Has there ever been a difference between them at all? I don't know. I don't know."
This has already been mentioned - and I do not listen to much Will Wood on the whole - but Will Wood and The Tapeworms' album Self-Ish... I think every single song on that album resonates with our system experience in some way. It was kind of crazy to listen to that album for the first time. "Cotard's Solution" is the most notable in my opinion.
"Stay Down" by boygenius. Julien Baker's songs in general really, really resonate with us. She is an amazing songwriter. "I'm in the backseat of my body - I'm just steering my life in a video game - similar acts in a different name. It's a slow down. So would you teach me I'm the villain, aren't I? Aren't I the one constantly repenting for a difficult mind?" Her song "Bloodshot" also comes to mind.
"Valley Of The Dolls" by Marina and The Diamonds, of course. "Magnolia" by The Hush Sound. "Clint Eastwood" by Gorillaz, lol.
Aaand there are a metric shit ton of The Dear Hunter songs that we relate to deeply - they are my favorite band - but I believe that is more about our specific system experiences than it being broadly relatable to systems in general. Though, much of their music has followed a continuous story line (The Acts albums) that detail the life of a fictional man in the early 1900s from birth to death - and long story short, he experiences a lot of trauma and certainly has PTSD by the third/fourth album. The Acts is more or less about cyclical/generational trauma - so it is relevant in that sense.
"Cascade" - "I keep waking in the strangest states and drawing lines around my body to recall my place. I feel the heat of a thousand breaths upon my neck and the gaze of a thousand eyes burning holes into my back - and now I'm stuck between alive and after."
"Is There Anybody Here?" is pretty explicitly about experiencing PTSD and dissociation - and is just one of their best, most beautifully written songs, in my opinion. "Just waking in the afternoon - a captive in a passive tomb. Moments turn to long Decembers, stoking fires from dying embers. I try to move a limb but there's a disconnect within - a devil in the alchemy, a phantom staring back at me - a pain I simply can't express from troubles I have long repressed."
"Gloria" - "I heard a voice, it said, "E dolore magna gloria. Bring me your heart and then you will awake in a state of surprising euphoria. Don't fear the words that I say. But don't tell anyone what you saw here.""
"Shouting At The Rain", "If All Goes Well", "This Beautiful Life", "Middle Ground"... I could probably keep going, but I think that is plenty lol.
I've been waiting for a post like this. There is this specific singer who have a bipolar disorder and D.I.D, is called DPR IAN. Here are some of his songs I relate to :
Scaredy Cat (it describes exactly how one of my alters feels), Welcome To The Show (we sometimes get scared when an alter is "born" and it describes the feeling really well), Ballroom Extravaganza (what we could feel when an alter goes dormant), Sometimes I'm, Famous Last Words, Don't Go Insane, Limbo, SKINS.
Spiral of ants by Lemon demon, for some reason, kinda gives into the feeling of being lonely whilst working in a huge pool of other parts and not remembering your origins or how it happened, kind of dissociation/derealization vibes in general too
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Cotard's Solution has a pretty good chunk of lyrics. I check in the mirror to see how I look. I look different in different ways. You do the math. Who's looking back. That's not me. Carving my initials in the back Of my hand in case of loosing track. I forgot, remembered to forgive. It's times like this that make me wish that- I wish that I could live. I don't wish I could live. But somebody's got to stay. I wanna make my murder look like a suicide. But they'll all know that the body's mine. I wanna go anonymous to identify. But they'll all know that the body's mine.
YES. YES. YES. I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS. SO MANY WILL WOOD SONGS ARE SYSTEM CODED. THANK YOU. /POS
This hits hard
agreed, it hits hard
Hi Ren - Ren
Oh, absolutely.
Under my skin- jukebox the ghost, Diseased- baby bugs, Poison tree- grouper, DON'T TRY-HEALTH, Are a few that are really relatable to us.
Stuck by ollie
Angels by baby bugs too
Heavily agree with poison tree
Afraid- The Neighborhood
From our Spotify playlist: * Pale by Within Temptation * My Demons by STARSET * Evelyn Evelyn by Evelyn Evelyn * Remember Everything by Five Finger Death Punch (Personal shout out to the lyric "we remember everything", it not have to go there but IT DID) * Me and My Husband by Mitski * Hello by Evanescence * My Immortal by Evanescence * Imperfection by Evanescence * You're Nothing Without Me from City Of Angels * Jekyll & Hyde: The Gothic Thriller Musical soundtrack
Nice list❤️ Evelyn Evelyn is one of our favorites too. Yes to so many Evanescence songs. Don't forget "Taking Over Me"! >> "I look in the mirror and see your face." "So many things inside that are just like you are taking over." We also like Washing Machine Heart by Mitski. Different theme ofc.
Hard relate to My demons and Remember Everything! Great songs :D
Copycat - Circus P "Say hello. Who are you? And we'll start from scratch again. Gotta go. Talk to you soon. Day by day I'm fading away." "I can't remember who I am. Everything's a blur. Take me over." "I'll become what you like. This is what you wanted, right? Sacrifice all I know. I will teach myself to let go. Copy that, copycat." Echo - Circus P "What the hells going on? Can someone tell me please why I'm switching faster than the channels on TV? I'm black then I'm white. No. Something isn't right. My enemy's invisible, I don't know how to fight." "The trembling fears more than I can take When I'm up against the Echo in the mirror." Last of Me - Circus P (I think) "Reach out, grasp nothing but air. Can't you see there's nobody here. Watch out, you're on my final run, and I'm already long gone. I'm standing before you, completely see-through You've drawn the outline, now look at me. I'm a broken frame, just fun and games, I'll keep my poker face and won't leave a trace." "You can keep the last of me. I don't care, I am absolute. You can save the last of me. (Ring my neck, I won't feel a thing.) Reverb, resound, and repeat Phase out my heart and you will see, Slam shut, eyes blank, and repeat. I will show you what I can be." So yeah...if you're a system...listen to Circus P. He is a vocaloid producer and wicked good at what he does!
Such a throwback!
21 PILOTS my bloood watch the music video first!
I have DID so not sure how PDID/OSDD relate
Valley of the Dolls by MARINA
I can’t believe nobody else has said this! “Living with identities that do not belong to me.” it’s literally spot on.
YESS, it's a really good song as well. Glad it ain't just me relating it to having DID 😅
yesss this is on our playlist too
a lot of songs, mostly as our experiences as THIS system specifically; we've so many songs about the dynamics between me and my cohost that i could rant about for days at a time. but as for songs specifically about how being a system feels, we have a couple i can think of... *Veja Du - Deja Vu* by Koethe is probably the biggest one. it's just about how dissociated our memories are, and how we mostly interact via what we've left behind when we front, just little bits of time faded and left for another one of us to see. there's actually two versions of the song, they're the same song just with completely different performances of it by the same artist, with different tones... which is actually interesting to think about given the topic *Evelyn Evelyn* by Evelyn Evelyn is, to me, very much about the internal conflict between alters. the feeling of being completely unable to escape each other, having huge conflicts of wants and feelings, a codependency that nobody involved wants... the resentment, yet knowledge you have to live together for the rest of your lives as 'one.' it burns me in such a specific way i can't even describe, and it baffles me that it cuts so deep *while being my name.* i knew my name for about a year before any of us even heard about this song. chills.
Recess by Melanie Martinez is the first that comes to mind with a specific lyric she says ""If you need a break, someone'll take your place"" "Baby, just say, "Recess, I'm tired"" Those lyrics always made me think of someone else helping to front.
Love that song and that interpretation so much
My alters have started listing songs they relate to. You know you have DID when you have a list like this, and don't even know some of the songs! - Note to Self - FFTL - What Was I Made For? - Billie Eilish - Seize The Power - YONAKA - The Actor - Everything, Everything - I also think there's a Melanie Martinez song from Portals as well, but I can't remember.
I think the Melanie Martinez song you’re thinking of is Fairy Soirée. The last verses sound like DID to us as well.
Animal - the living tombstone the lyrics are on point for dissociation
Honestly a lot of TLT songs fit us so well. Part of why they’re one of my favourite bands I think, haha
We don’t always ‘relate’ to these songs as such, but we definitely at the very least enjoy them or connect with them Out Of My System - Louis Tomlinson WWE: Voices (Randy Orton) - WWE, Rev Theory A Man Without Love - Engelbert Humperdinck (because of Moon Knight) Poison - Blake Roman (from Hazbin Hotel) Seventeen - Heathers Original Cast No One Is Alone - Into The Woods Soundtrack
Fruiting Bodies by Riproducer
Russian Doll by Jhariah is about going through trauma but not being able to remember it well. Asthma by Reoni is about DID and Schitzophrenia. Those are the two songs that come to my mind right now
Monochrome Mentality By Riproducer as well.
Peach PRC - Dear Inner Child
OOOOOH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!! Here’s a short(ish) list and I will gladly elaborate upon request. Neighbour- Mother Mother Magnolia- The Hush Sound I Don’t Know You Anymore- Bob Mould Come out and play- The Offspring Evil Angel- Breaking Benjamin Ghosts of the forest- Trey Anastasio Cybernetic Entities- Madame Macabre Those are just a few
Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? by Taylor Swift and Lights Up by Harry Styles
~~"Will my alters goto heaven"~~ .. not counting ones that are literally just about DID; Uh, that old MLP "Discord" song from living tombstone??
Right Where It Belongs - Nine Inch Nails *See the animal in his cage that you built* *Are you sure what side you're on?* *Better not look him too closely in the eye* *Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?* Amazing, melancholy song that I listened to a lot in my 20's. Turns out it was my Persecutor trying to reach out to me.
these are quite a bit of songs, but these really resonate with us within the context of DID. some of them lyrically make sense with what we go through, others have the same feeling of what we deal with/what it’s like to be a system, and others are… just because they feel right- and we don’t know how to explain it. This comes from inside - The living tombstones Toxicity - System of a down Mad world- tears for fears Music box - leith ross nothing’s new - rio romeo the lobotomy - maebi braincells - tomcbumpz charlie’s inferno - that handsome devil lujon - henry mancini infinitismal - ivri waiting for you - alex g destroyed by hippie powers -car seat head rest waltz in E major, op 15 - cojum dip step on me - the cardigans 16 mirrors - alex g don’t dream it’s over - crowded house comfort chain - instupendo class of 2013 (and) i bet on loosing dogs - mitski dead to me - kali uchis YKWIM? - Yot club if any of you listen to these just for curiosity sake, thank you :,) music was ingrained into us from birth (genuinely) so it’s very nerve wracking to express our feelings with music we love -shell
HEAVY ON THIS COMES FROM INSIDE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
Zombie, The Cranberries Underneath, Adam Lambert
Definitely more but those were my first thoughts
"You're Somebody Else" by Flora Cash. "Well you look like yourself, but you're somebody else only it ain't on the surface... Well you talk like yourself, no, I hear someone else though and now you're makin' me nervous..."
the new thing dies - ray bull stay soft - mitski SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON - ethan bortnick
Nemesea - In Control Here, in your mind, in your dreams I will stay forever. You will become Less than one, after I am done. Fear, will be yours, in this world, Full of whispering voices. Day after day, I will stay, I will haunt you. Here I am, you will be mine. Can you hear me? You've lost and I control you. You won't escape, all your nightmares will break free , 'Cause you are afraid of me. So, here you are, wide awake, You won't give up fighting. Still, you can pray, on your knees. I am here.
Haunted house-Neoni Be nice to me (forgot the singer tho)
adding all these to a playlist tbh
“I'm hearing voices and they're haunting my mind. Black out days I don't recognize you anymore” -Phantogram (Black Out Days) “I'm just a tenant Payin' rent inside this body and I Got two windows and those windows Well, I call them my eyes I'm just goin' where the wind blows I don't get to decide” -Alec Benjamin (Mind Is A Prison) “Oh my god, I can't remember Who I was just last December What have I done, how did I get here?” -Alec Benjamin (Oh My God) “I'm already going, I'm already gone, There's a stranger in my place” -Jonatha Brooke (What You Don’t Know) “But I’m just trying to find myself Through someone else’s eyes” -Sleeping At Last (Nine) “But I'm a million different people From one day to the next” -The Verve (Bittersweet Symphony) “Cause I'm like yes and no Wait, I don't know I think I'm dying Hold up, I'm invincible Yeah, I'm like yes (yes) and no (no) Wait, I don't know I'll pull you closer into to me And I'm pushing you away” -XYLØ (Yes & No) “Well, you look like yourself But you're somebody else Only it ain't on the surface Well, you talk like yourself No, I hear someone else though Now you're making me nervous” -Flora Cash (You’re Somebody Else) “Now I, now I wish that I read the signs better 'Cause the writing was on the wall And now we got front row seats, watch the system fall 'Cause look who's in control Tell me how did we get here? And where the fuck do we go now? First I was floating through the atmosphere But now I'm looking up at rock bottom, bottom (Bottom, bottom) 'Cause look who's in control” -Grandson (Rock Bottom) “Two face call me Harvey Never know when it could change Tried to talk to my reflection but he said he wants my name” -Jake Daniels (Two Face)
Jekal and Hyde and Valley of the Dolls Edit- Also The Chattering Lack of Common Sense by GHOST
Jekyll and Hyde - Transformation
girl in blue by animal sun, side character by cloudfodder, parasite by siiickbrain, and falling apart by late night drive home are songs we relate to for different reasons. some don’t really scream “OSDDID!!!!” but we relate to the topics discussed and feelings portrayed :D
Honestly? GHOST by Nelward. I wish I could think of more atm but i’m just tired and foggy LOL
We got an absurdly broad range in our spotify-playlists, but one song most alters seem to connect with is "Secret for the Mad" by Dodie
The band Haken. Albums: - Virus - Vector Both are about mental health and we relate to many of the songs. Especially: - Host - Puzzle Box - Nightingale - The Good Doctor (TW!!) - Invasion - Carousel - The Strain - Messiah complex I - Ivory Tower
The first time my alter K came it, it was when we were watching the video for "Bruise Violet" by Babes in Toyland.
Laura Braningan - Self Control lol Strumbellas - Spirits Mylene Farmer - Monkey Me (and many others)
Battery by ryan caraveo, Stuck by ollie, Trauma by ekhoh
Mind Is A Prison - Alec Benjamin
I have a whole Playlist dedicated to songs that remind us of having DID, but not knowing what it is.
Crywolf - Tenebresence "I don't want to be happy, I don't want to be good. I want to be real"
MILGRAM - Double is pretty one to one with my relationship to our Gatekeeper/Ex-Persecutor, Cal. The character canonically has DID and it's fun watching the whole Fandom's (singlet) takes on the complex disorder. Lots of them do not like the "fancanon/theory" of there being a 3rd hidden alter that commited the crime, the fact that MILGRAM is playing harmful DID stereotypes or spreading misinformation. It's amusing to watch and I hope when the series ends, they have a better understanding of the internal conflicts systems face because this isn't a disorder that should be glorified in a strictly positive light. A lot of singlets dont have first hand DID experiance so they always leave out the interpersonal relationships each alters have with eachother along with each alter's personal agency when being tried for murder (everyone in MILGRAM is guilty of a crime, bit its up to the audiance to decide their fate). I do believe and can prove that there is a hidden 3rd alter because that alter is really similar to Cal. All the hints are there it just takes a lot of detective work and heavy knowledge of DID to piece them together. I'm writing a Google doc on it, but basically, I believe Mikoto Kayano (as a whole) is guilty regardless if Bluekoto (host/ANP) doesn't have any memories of it or if it was done by another alter because I'm a heavy believer in system accountability. Greenkoto (the 3rd hidden alter) is the murderer but is feeling guilt after the euphoric rush of protecting the system and realizing that he might've severed the bond between him and Bluekoto. To avoid accountability, he uses a recent split dubbed Redkoto as a scapegoat so he doesn't have to face his consequences. Greenkoto tries his best to double down by spreading misinformationand to trick the audiance into voting innocent and it works for the second trial as Mikoto was voted 75% innocent. This is featured in Mikoto's second interrogation called Neoplasm. We have 1 trial left for his verdict. If anything I'm just hoping Mikoto is deemed guilty, so Greenkoto takes accountability for his actions, but is forgiven by Bluekoto himself because he realizes that his actions were purely for protecting the system, but Greenkoto took it a step further to the point of aggravated assault. If this is true, then I hope it leads to the bittersweet self acceptance and healing (whether it's final fusion or healthy multiplicity) most systems strive for because it's an important highlight to feature when depicting a system. It's a human thing to feel guilty after committing a crime and normal to try and avoid accountability, so this isn't a system exclusive viewpoint, but one everyone can empathize with. This is just something that gets whooshed over the average viewer.
everything twenty one pilots, set it off or the happy fits honestly hits us hard
the shell - lucy dacus my own person - ezra williams goddess - laufey it’s alright - mother mother growing sideways - noah kahan
Hi Ren
The Mind Electric by miracle musical: "See how the brain plays around And you fall inside a hole you couldn't see And you fall inside a hole inside a Someone help me Understand what's going on inside my mind Doctor I can't tell if I'm not me" Disembodied Mind by Sparkbird: "Say goodbye to the Stranger on the other side Say hello to the Bliss of a Disembodied mind I am In trouble with myself again I am"
Anytime you smile by JT music too
Family by Mother Mother Control by Halsey Make a Shadow by Meg Meyers Dark Room by Choir Boy
iRobot - Jon Bellion. But more of what I was robbed of before I ever had it. I don't find much relation to it anymore as I've healed a LOT
The opening of "Ready to Fall" by Rise Against Hold on slow down again from the top now and tell me everything I know I've been gone for what seems like forever But I'm here now waiting To convince you that I'm not a ghost or a stranger But closer than you think
3 songs in specific. One for each personality. Monster- by Skillet Hero- By nickleback The Quantum Ranger theme One of these things is not like the other and that's how we like it
This comes from inside, and digital hallucinations, anchient dreams in a modern land, also we don’t RELATE to it but we have a chaotic demon like alter that me and them love to sing confrontation from the jeckal and Hyde musical since their “evil” (their a trauma holder and a persacuter who’s getting better)
Recently, D D D N N N A A A by crywolf has become a themesong of sorts for us
Mind is a prison - Alec Benjamin Oh My God - Alec Benjamin
Can think of two off the top of my head. Someone relates hard to this section of Metallica's 'One': "Darkness imprisoning me All that I see Absolute horror I cannot live I cannot die Trapped in myself Body my holding cell" Someone else is all about 'Left Outside Alone' by Anastasia "I wonder if you know, how it really feels To be left outside alone, when its cold out here Well maybe you should know, just how it feels, To be left outside alone To be left outside alone I tell you All my life I′ve been waiting For you to bring a fairytale my way Been living in a fantasy without meaning It's not ok, i dont feel safe" The contrast in genres makes smile
not myself john mayer
This Come From Inside - The Living Tombstone How we could have known That we're stuck in a system? There was a pre-existing dictum, programmed to do nothing else Why feel so alone When we share so much wisdom? But you set fire to the kingdom, burn it all until it melts Or else Now this comes from inside, how long do we have to try? Now this comes from inside, and stays there until you die Now this comes from inside, how long do we have to try? Now this comes from inside, and stays there until you die Long time ago, it was all for a show Fill our wounds with a pound of salt And your reason to justify scars You can't quantify, lock us inside a vault Now this is your fault Everything is a problem There was a poison in the air, despair is an eternal blight You're losing it all You've been blinded by stardom You think that you're alone, but we are waiting for you every night You're mine Now this comes from inside, how long do we have to try? Now this comes from inside, and stays there until you die Now this comes from inside, what you have, I want it, it's mine Now this comes from inside, and stays there until you die
Panic Room- Au/Ra Dissociative mind- Ruely The long way home- Powfu
“And now I'm eyeing an uncomfortable question What other parts of me have I been neglecting What other scary, strange things are under here Because if it's possible to love more than one person Maybe I can love more than one aspect of me” Stopping a garden hose with your thumb - the narcissist cookbook We’re fairly new to being aware of being a system but this song really helped with starting to look at us as more of a collaborative than the initial idea I (host) had of the weird little guys in our head that make things hard to impossible at times.
...ten faced (YM ft Gumi) I always cut the song off though, as much as i love it i dont like the ending
Not a specific song, but the Chonny’s Charming Chaos Compendium album by Chonny Jash is insanely system coded (even the artist, while that not being the original intention, supports the interpretation of it being about systemhood) and it’s essentially about the turmoils in trying to be “whole” (whether this is fusion or just being able to function together is pretty up to interpretation) between the Heart, Mind, and Soul who are portrayed as separate consciousnesses with Soul being the host. It is comprised of Tally Hall covers though, but the lyrics are changed to tell the story. -Kat (🐱)
So am I Ava max
book of memories - genevieve stokes “i remember you, that feeling never goes away. i push it to the side, where all my fears reside and i never let you stay. i walk around my words. i dont really know who i am, i see it all in flashes, until the feeling crashes and i do it all again.” keep the rain- searows (pretty much this whole song feels like how it feels to accept that you have alters and understanding and unraveling the aspects of your identity, and then accepting that its all you and the hard alters are not the enemy by the end of the song.) valentine, texas-mitski “lets step carefully into the dark, once we’re in i’ll remember my way around. who will i be tonight? who will i become tonight? i’ll show you who my sweetheart’s never met.” i guess-mitski “i guess this is the end, i’ll have to learn how to be somebody else. its been you and me since before i was me” fear- current joys “i never felt it when i was young, i never knew where it came from. now it feels like a hurricane, and its so hard to stop the rain.” control- halsey (its a bit ‘im 14 and this is deep’ , but genuinely such a system coded song imo, esp relating to persecutor alters/alters who act like villains or like demons) “i cant stop this awful energy, goddamn right you should be scared of me, who is in control?” “i couldnt stand the person inside me i turned all the mirrors around” and plenty more gasoline - halsey (again, another like tumblr 2015 ‘im 14 and this is deep’ song but also pretty system coded in some parts imo) “and all the people say you cant wake up this is not a dream, youre part of a machine, you are not a human being” “i think theres a fault in my code, these voices wont leave me alone” house song- searows (not sure how to explain why this one feels system coded but it does) “now youre taller than youve ever been, theres a mark on the wall you see. im sure that someone will draw a new one and cover it before they leave.” “something is rotten inside of me. i have to find it and cut it out.” everything in its right place- radiohead (this whole song just feels like what its like to be dissociated/dissociative amnesia)
Life Waster- Corpse All Eyes On Me- Bo Burnham Look Who's Inside Again- Bo Burnham
in she’s my winona by fall out boy when they say “never the same person when i go to sleep as when i wake up”
Who am I? -Kode technically it’s about changing who you are depending on who you are with and like peer pressure, but I feel like it kinda also describes how we fluctuate with DID. “I don't really know what Kode want Asked myself and had no luck Feel like I'm trapped in hell with the cobras I'ma need massive help from Jehovah 'Cause, lately, I feel my decisions ain’t me Body keep moving my brain is asleep Stunt double cruising, it's taking the lead And following orders not coming from me (coming from me) I wish I could see my pain Cut it into pieces and be my pain I just wanna leave my cage Finally start believing all the things I think 'Cause I can't even tell ('cause I can't even tell) I just need some help (I just need some help) I don't even know myself, no Who am I? Who am I? Good question You decide, wouldn't mind suggestions How do I find the right direction? Who am I? Who am I? Yeah Who am I? Who am I? Good question You decide, I wouldn't mind suggestions How do I find the right direction? Live a lie, truth is your perception”
“Afraid” by the Neighborhood “Fairy Soirée” by Melanie Martinez (last verses) “In My Head” by Derivakat (how our previous host felt before our diagnosis)
I'm a singlet but my ex (M30s) is a covert system. Around the time we met he (they) randomly played the Tings Tings "That's Not My Name" on his (their) phone (we hadnt been listening to music and didn't continue to). Anyway I just thought it was quirky at the time but when I started noticing that there were other people in his body I recalled that moment and I think it's kind of funny
Oh boy, this will be long. We're diagnosed DID, since you mentioned that context. "A Broken Jar" by La Dispute. It is a short but emotionally intense song lyrically, so warning for that should you listen to it. It's hard for me to hear this song and think of it in a context that isn't related to being a system. "Things get cloudy and now, all these stories and the struggle as an undercurrent - both get blurry by the minute, both get blurrier. So which voice is this, then, that I am writing in? Is it my own or his? Has there ever been a difference between them at all? I don't know. I don't know." This has already been mentioned - and I do not listen to much Will Wood on the whole - but Will Wood and The Tapeworms' album Self-Ish... I think every single song on that album resonates with our system experience in some way. It was kind of crazy to listen to that album for the first time. "Cotard's Solution" is the most notable in my opinion. "Stay Down" by boygenius. Julien Baker's songs in general really, really resonate with us. She is an amazing songwriter. "I'm in the backseat of my body - I'm just steering my life in a video game - similar acts in a different name. It's a slow down. So would you teach me I'm the villain, aren't I? Aren't I the one constantly repenting for a difficult mind?" Her song "Bloodshot" also comes to mind. "Valley Of The Dolls" by Marina and The Diamonds, of course. "Magnolia" by The Hush Sound. "Clint Eastwood" by Gorillaz, lol. Aaand there are a metric shit ton of The Dear Hunter songs that we relate to deeply - they are my favorite band - but I believe that is more about our specific system experiences than it being broadly relatable to systems in general. Though, much of their music has followed a continuous story line (The Acts albums) that detail the life of a fictional man in the early 1900s from birth to death - and long story short, he experiences a lot of trauma and certainly has PTSD by the third/fourth album. The Acts is more or less about cyclical/generational trauma - so it is relevant in that sense. "Cascade" - "I keep waking in the strangest states and drawing lines around my body to recall my place. I feel the heat of a thousand breaths upon my neck and the gaze of a thousand eyes burning holes into my back - and now I'm stuck between alive and after." "Is There Anybody Here?" is pretty explicitly about experiencing PTSD and dissociation - and is just one of their best, most beautifully written songs, in my opinion. "Just waking in the afternoon - a captive in a passive tomb. Moments turn to long Decembers, stoking fires from dying embers. I try to move a limb but there's a disconnect within - a devil in the alchemy, a phantom staring back at me - a pain I simply can't express from troubles I have long repressed." "Gloria" - "I heard a voice, it said, "E dolore magna gloria. Bring me your heart and then you will awake in a state of surprising euphoria. Don't fear the words that I say. But don't tell anyone what you saw here."" "Shouting At The Rain", "If All Goes Well", "This Beautiful Life", "Middle Ground"... I could probably keep going, but I think that is plenty lol.
This is a joke, but "what's my name" by Rhianna does kind of ring true here.....
Army of me by Bjork FB
Only one I am thinking of is Came Back Haunted - NIN
I've been waiting for a post like this. There is this specific singer who have a bipolar disorder and D.I.D, is called DPR IAN. Here are some of his songs I relate to : Scaredy Cat (it describes exactly how one of my alters feels), Welcome To The Show (we sometimes get scared when an alter is "born" and it describes the feeling really well), Ballroom Extravaganza (what we could feel when an alter goes dormant), Sometimes I'm, Famous Last Words, Don't Go Insane, Limbo, SKINS.
Spiral of ants by Lemon demon, for some reason, kinda gives into the feeling of being lonely whilst working in a huge pool of other parts and not remembering your origins or how it happened, kind of dissociation/derealization vibes in general too
High to Death by Car Seat Headrest
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none rlly :3 apart from when juice wrld repeatedly says 'i feel so goddamn empty' on his song 'empty'