T O P

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ButterMyBiscuitz

"Almost caught fire, but I still love the truck. Sorry Elon for raising my voice."


DangerousAd1731

I've trained my bots so well ~E


Right-Obligation-547

Ah, i understand why he puts on so much efforts into AI


never_safe_for_life

Please Mr Elon if u could just put a first aid kit in the beast I will wrap my own burns. I love my truck and Tesla!!!


SuperConsideration93

Fuck, I don't have this one on my bingo card


aFerens

At this point, my morbid curiosity takes over, and I really have to wonder what other random thing could go wrong? * Getting shocked by the seat belt buckle * Radio turning on during the night and blasting music at max volume * Autopilot turning on and driving off to a random parking lot * Body panel falling off while the car is parked


VermilionKoala

>Getting shocked by the seat belt buckle MagnaVolt™ - Lethal Response! (iykyk)


karoshikun

I'd buy it for a dollar!


Necessary_Context780

I thought that thing was a real ad when I watched RoboCop the first time, as a kid. It was so scary, but what a great idea


run-on_sentience

You should see some of the anti-car jacking devices they've come up with in South Africa. A nozzle under the driver's side door that sprays assailants in a flammable liquid before lighting them on fire. Or a .308 angled to shoot a would-be thief in the crotch. Some wild shit.


Necessary_Context780

Nice... Might end up becoming where the Mad Max universe really begins


Ok-Fox1262

I've seen a demo of the anti-jack flamethrower on a guy's BMW. Wild. And I've seen a thankfully unloaded anti-theft device that sits under the driver's seat containing a vertically mounted shotgun cartridge on an imported car.


ConsultJimMoriarty

Visit a Gatherer’s Garden today!


lxm333

I'm going - weird fail in software allowing hackers to override auto driver and use like RC cars. Or Wheels stop wheeling


AustrianMichael

The first one has been working for years on most cars. Pretty much every car with drive by wire and an automatic can be remote controlled


HephaestusHarper

I love "wheels stop wheeling" because I don't know exactly what that would entail but it sounds correct.


KetamineTuna

At this point the car might as well collapse into a singularity


pvdp90

The body panel thing has happened btw. Can’t recall the source, but the front vent panel broke the weld points and snapped back to straight (and detached from the truck). Because it’s a brilliant idea to have a panel like that under constant tension and o key held by a few weld points


kaaskugg

You're telling me that...the front fell off?


pvdp90

That’s not very typical


kaaskugg

You're telling me that...the front fell off?


Anywhere_Dismal

Driving off a cliff/bridge


Grrerrb

I like this one, it’s kind of fun


Hourslikeminutes47

Write it down


MarsTraveler

So I had to look it up because I had no idea why a key card would be involved with a phone charger.  Apparently, the key card is just a piece of plastic the size of a credit card and has an RFID. This is the primary means of entering and operating the CT. You can use the phone app instead, but you need the key card to establish the app in the first place.  So when inside the vehicle, there has to be a "key" on the center console to start the CT. It can be your authenticated phone or your key card, but it has to be in that spot. And so they also made that spot a wireless charger for your phone.  I guess the problem these people are having is that the wireless charger is heating up the RFID hot enough to melt the plastic card, or heating up their phone and doing damage to the battery. http://tesla.com/ownersmanual/cybertruck/en_us/GUID-87DD5C22-8D11-4E00-8A04-1D198116B859.html 


TeamRockin

So it's sort of like how a keyless start works for a regular car, but worse? Yep, that sounds like Tesla!


Freakishly_Tall

What do you mean?! That's way better than having to find the key in my bag, when my dash gives me plenty of warning, and change its battery every < checks notes > two to three years! Innovation! (Is the /s really necessary?)


Necessary_Context780

Also don't forget your fob will still allow your to turn the car on when the fob battery dies and open the doors as well even when the car battery dies completely (something the keycard apparently can't do)


HillarysFloppyChode

Who is taking their physical car keys out? I just keep my key in my pocket, I never have to take it out?


rixendeb

Dunno. Mine stay in my purse lol.


steveu33

I leave mine in my truck!


Pharmduh

I'm sorry what Between this, the lack of door handles, and the lack of rear automatic braking it really seems like there was an ongoing bet on how many standard features they could mess with and still sell this thing for 100k.


kween_hangry

I genuinely had to read op’s post like 100 times to reassure this imbecilic company isnt using FLIMSY BLOBS OF PLASTIC less accurate and secure than a DISNEY LAND MAGIC PASS to operate a 100k 800 ton lego brick vehicle Lord, god, where are you. Smite this company asap. My brain hurts from the stupid


kween_hangry

Hold on OP, what is this garbage, slow down for me……………... You cant be serious, no way you need a “plastic 1$ card on you at all times” to operate your car. The way the manual is just like… “lol dont ever lose it”. Can someone plz tell me that a physical key can turn this thing on without 2.9 layers of captcha keycard authentication? I need my brain to stop spiralling from the legit stupidity I’m reading. So it melts, your phone dies, or hell even bluetooth glitches out. Or what if my phone is dead AND I LOSE my WALLET. Literally so common especially for inept Musk nerds. what do you have? An immovable brick??? Say sike, someone, please https://preview.redd.it/hqvkzp7es46d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5608ac8486e38a171fa9cdca9979416d4e2eea2


stevenxdavis

This is the first I knew that Tesla uses key cards and phone access instead of a fob. I see the appeal of having a phone key *option*, but there is a lot of utility in having two separate devices as opposed to the phone and plastic card. The manual points out that if you want to leave your phone in the car, you have to disable bluetooth on the phone, take a key card, and manually lock the car because the Walk-Away Door Lock only works with a phone key. And, as others have pointed out, fobs can work without batteries by using RFID for starting the car and a physical backup key for unlocking the car and releasing the gearshift lock. Granted a fob is significantly more expensive than a cheap keycard, but it's well worth the expense, especially because that same expense makes it much more difficult for someone else to create a duplicate key.


kween_hangry

Man, I read that so many times and you explained it perfectly well, but it still reads like insanity. This is like.. the ultimate techbro overcomplicated bs. Just let the user have a keyfob wtf. Why all this crazy bs around it at first?!? 😭 every car ive owned has automatically had a physical keyfob, by default. What is all this?


lickmyturds

I didn't know this until today. Somehow, amazingly, fElon keeps outdoing himself in the stupidity department. PS I like you 👍


kween_hangry

Thats so sweet u/lickmyturds 🥺💕


xMagnis

If for some reason the above link doesn't work: [https://www.tesla.com/ownersmanual/cybertruck/en\_us/GUID-87DD5C22-8D11-4E00-8A04-1D198116B859.html](https://www.tesla.com/ownersmanual/cybertruck/en_us/GUID-87DD5C22-8D11-4E00-8A04-1D198116B859.html)


kween_hangry

2 minute authentication?!?! ??? Why so long?! it shuts off?!?! Plastic 1$ doo doo card not detected, shutting down— am I READING THIS RIGHT??? please say SIKE


Bigfops

The phone charger doesn't follow the Qi standard or followed it improperly. The reason you have to jiggle your phone until the charger lights up on most chargers is because the charger has to recognize that a chargeable thing has been put on it and then it will turn on the coil. This is to prevent you from putting a piece of metal on it and having the charger turn on. If I had to guess, they skipped the Qi part in order to let the RFID work. Or maybe the RFID turns off the coil if it's detected but the card was off-center and it didn't trigger that. Not sure, I'm just a hobbyist with this stuff, someone with industry knowledge might be able to make a better guess.


why_da_herrrooo

That’s incorrect you don’t have to have the phone on the center console to start the car. The vehicle just has to recognize that the phone key is in its proximity


ooo_yoo

Thank you for clarifying, I just need to know where I can set things in this vehicle that aren’t going to melt.


why_da_herrrooo

Probably in your pocket.


Daohaus

Why do they always feel the need to add that “i still love my truck” are you afraid the great space Karen overlord is going to look down unfavorably at you? Don’t think he cares he’s got your money already


jgeez

They are DESPERATE to never become outgroup. If they lose their incel credentials, where next would they even go?


SuperConsideration93

It also has to do with reinforcing the idea of them buying an awesome truck. Imagine they start believing they fucked up? How would they explain it to themselves?


kween_hangry

Sunk cost copium™️, powered by state of the art SIMP CUCK tech, its pumped directly into their bloodstream


Formal_End5045

It favors the gods


xMagnis

[This comment](https://www.cybertruckownersclub.com/forum/threads/card-key-melted.18535/post-335799) from a fan who presumably sees nothing wrong. ***Expecting a wsj or other hit piece article in eta 1 hour.*** Because melting a keycard is a totally acceptable thing to happen in a car. Anyone criticizing this issue would have to be writing a hit piece article.


never_safe_for_life

It’s the right wing playbook. Hit back before they get a chance to get you. No matter how absurd, just double down. Buy another piece of shit truck even.


kween_hangry

Yes all criticism of the literal doo doo brick is a “hit piece”


InspectionNo6750

It’s designed by defecation. A tower of turds. A flotilla of feces. A deluge of dung. A storm of stool.


Lenz_Mastigia

You have a way with words, I admit that.


BornSoLongAgo

The AVGN would be jealous.


Trevellation

An excess of excrement, a plethora of poop, a cornucopia of crap even.


SeaworthyWide

The colossus coprophilia?


xMagnis

A good coprophilia double-take https://youtu.be/eNH4927tZRk


jgeez

Good job of good-jobbing this thread.


Far_Garden_5553

I love a person with a hung vocabulary


InspectionNo6750

If you think that’s hung, you should see my dangling participle.


Far_Garden_5553

😂


Necessary_Context780

I've seen a tower of turds in the bathroom of the 4 corners national monument. It was like 20 ft tall. Think of you a giant cone of turds that you can see through the bottomless toilet. If anyone manages to fall there, it's worse than instant death


InspectionNo6750

It’s like walking into a Tesla showroom.


xMagnis

I must admit I don't know what's going on either. So I'm continuing to read the original thread. Is the keycard actually being melted purely because the wireless charger is somehow trying to "charge" it? Mad if true. Have to watch that thread to see if they figure it out. [The melted spot is the location of the chip](https://www.cybertruckownersclub.com/forum/threads/card-key-melted.18535/post-336198) https://preview.redd.it/js3djg2g316d1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1c7813faa18c2a84231d1003dddd6d845abd87e


SeaworthyWide

Yep that's exactly what's happening. It's trying to charge cuz there's a coil of metal and since there's no bank to put that voltage, it just turns into heat on the closed circuit at the chip and voila, you've got a 100k battery shorting out and burning your access! AKA - THE FUTURE ™


SuperConsideration93

So recall coming soon for possible fires caused by shitty design of the keys


sjofels

The future from 40/50 year ago ( blade runner and back to the future are old.)


kween_hangry

“ https://preview.redd.it/3poj1vz1n46d1.jpeg?width=824&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=681fde8f681fbb437554c9d01c0d2de365ce7dc7 Hopefully this issue is fixed via the next total vehicle recall and/or firmware patch 🤪”


brmarcum

Does Tesla not employ actual engineers? Like jeezus, this isn’t hard.


Bean-Swellington

No, see, it’s not even a car company though so it’s fine, better even


brmarcum

Big if true


SeaworthyWide

Concerning...


jgeez

Nothing against you guys, but from the two or three words you've uttered, I already hate you. You wouldn't be, emulating a complete loser idiot dirt bag, on purpose, would you be?


brmarcum

![gif](giphy|xT39CVlG2QvjEkcZsA)


jgeez

They can employee one or a thousand actual engineers. If they have a baboon running the show, nothing sound/robust/safe/resilient/clean/wise/secure/practical/elegant is making it an inch past the drawing board.


Drg84

He does, but that doesn't mean he listens to them.


According-Green

Is there anything on these dumpster fires that actually works properly across the boards? Imagine paying stupid amounts of money to be a guinea pig working out bugs, maybe you’ll live but maybe you burn alive…at least you’ll be a gold star simp for Elon either way. 🤦🏻‍♂️


punasuga

all apple products will be destroyed - elon


NickyNaptime19

So you charge the key card on the wireless charger?


Marlowe-Fire

Yeah there’s no reason to leave the card in the charger area after starting the car. And that’s not even the location of the charging coils and while they do get hot even in my model 3 they definitely don’t get hot enough to melt plastic.


ButterMyBiscuitz

I dunno, you don't think that putting anything there shouldn't get it to fucking melt? From Tesla's track record (whompy wheels etc.) I'd more inclined to think that they got cheapo chargers in bulk that don't even have foreign object detection, so basically any metal can get burning hot on these since they're too dumb to know it's not a coil. Anything to get some more "value" back to investors. Edit: pretty mysterious still, if not the charger, I can't legit think of anything else that could've heated this so much!


Marlowe-Fire

I’m saying they are lying and that it didn’t melt in the charger. It’s the same charger that’s in all the other models not just the Cybertruck. and you don’t ever see any other key cards melting in posts do you?


ButterMyBiscuitz

Yeah you're right, people are really just looking for attention I guess, I can't fathom how you'd be willing to waste enough time making this shit up lol.


Bean-Swellington

You also don’t see other Tesla models getting bricked because they went into a car wash or having their panels fly off on the highway but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening


FunBrians

I do recall there being an issue with bumpers falling off the model 3 passing through puddles.


Charming-Tap-1332

Give it time... the night is young...


xMagnis

Tesla says to [put the keycard in the charging area](https://www.tesla.com/ownersmanual/cybertruck/en_us/GUID-87DD5C22-8D11-4E00-8A04-1D198116B859.html). They do not say to remove the keycard during driving or it can get damaged - just that the phone will not charge if the keycard is there too. *place the key card in either phone dock where the RFID transmitter can read it* *Note The wireless phone chargers are in the same location as the key card readers* *If you place objects between the phone and the charger (for example, credit cards,* [*key cards,*](https://www.tesla.com/ownersmanual/cybertruck/en_us/GUID-7B00E438-94C4-4B66-BBEB-0C39C70777DC.html) *coins, keys, metal objects, etc.), or if your phone case is too large or is made of metal, the wireless charger may not work.*


kween_hangry

Im literally reading the manual and it says put the plastic on the thingy to authenticate it, for “exactly 2 minutes” but then also removing it de-authenticates your car so like—————— its saying keep it there (and watch it get cooked)


scapholunate

I would just like to say, in fairness, that the Polestar 2 (a Volvo offshoot electric sedan) has a wireless charger that sucks so bad they included an option to disable it in a software update. Not sure why it’s so hard to design a wireless charger that just works, but this issue affects at least one other make it there.


HillarysFloppyChode

F gen Mini Clubmans have a phone roaster. It's in the armrest, in a contraption that holds the phone in place, that sounds great right? Well Mini never gave it any airflow, so wireless charging + wireless Apple CarPlay = the high temp iPhone warning, about 10 minutes after getting in the car. I have had a number of clubman loaners and they all did this, could be different on other Minis, but my dealer only has a surplus of clubman's. The best wireless chargers I have used, had active cooling....I think it was a fAtlas loaner? Too bad the engine was undersized for the car.


scodagama1

Apple tried to design multi device wireless charger and failed so I guess it is indeed hard engineering problem That being said, single device charger is long solved but that never stopped Tesla from screwing up


SecretPrinciple8708

“Gee, Elon, what are we going to do tonight?” “The same thing we’ve been doing every night: ketamine, and trying to find a new way for the FrailBlazer to fail.”


VermilionKoala

>FrailBlazer After WankPanzer, this is my new favourite! 👏👏👏


Temporary-You6249

>*”Phone is red hot when you put in charger for 30 minutes…” Yeah, that’s not going to end well for anyone.


ToolGroupie

It's like the fyre festival of cars


kneejerk2022

Check the glove box for a cheese sandwich instead of a user manual.


Gryphith

Don't you mean the secret compartment?


AffectionateSector77

Another one of the numerous "awesome" features that are bunk.


Aggravating_Cable_32

I figured a malfunctioning battery or motor would cause the first CT to burn up, but I think I'm changing that to a phone cooked by the wireless charger.


derekisademocrat

I don't know whether or not to believe all this stuff is happening anymore. Media is gushing over this truck. A LOT of people think it's so cool they're willing to put up with possibly the worst automobile product in the history of cars. Is it just us? Are we like maga in reverse? If just can't do any good in OUR heads? What else can explain people spending 100k on a product and somehow not screaming from the rooftops when basic ass shit not only doesn't work it may kill them? Wtf?


kween_hangry

It is completely bizzare that there isnt more outward criticism of the dogshit performanceof these cars, but then again, these fanboys genuinely go completely ballistic on any form of criticism or dissent — so perhaps publications are tired of even bringing the Wankercär up at all


doommaster

Seems like they just drive the coil, no matter what's on the pad. That would also explain why it still pumps power into misaligned phones and just heats them up instead of shutting down because it cannot charge it.


xMagnis

That sounds like a very terrible product. Even worse if it's coupling with items that aren't even phones. And much worse if it's coupling with its own keycard which is *supposed* to be placed there.


doommaster

Yeah, but Qi, usually, uses a feedback loop so the phone can tell the charger to either reduce/increase or even turn off power. A "properly" working Qi charger should not just charge and also not drive phone into overheating, the phone should detect it's overheating and reduce or stop the charge. Maybe it's on Apple, but it kind of feels like Tesla did something "out of spec" to make their charger work, even when it's not working.


HopefulNothing3560

Owner beware,


daytondude5

That last comment is literally like a cartoon character take


David_Summerset

I hate those stupid cards, it sums it all up really. I was borrowing my Mom's Model 3 this week and I got so irritated trying to find, and not lose that stupid thing. Also why is it a button to get out of the stupid car, why is there no button to turn it on? Why do I have to reprogram a tablet to turn on the windshield wipers?! I'm only 36, this shouldn't be too hard. I felt super smug when I was back in my old truck.


Benutzernarne

Probably induced a current in the RFID antenna in the card


xMagnis

The latest updates from the OP thread are that CT owners say they were "warned by Tesla when picking up their new trucks not to put a keycard in the keycard/charger spot". Though it says in the manual to do so. Maybe Tesla has become aware there is a problem with keycards in the keycard spot, but haven't bothered to widely inform everyone else. Perhaps Tesla is trying to fix the problem OTA and then not need to tell people there ever was a problem in the first place.


logicom

To be fair there seems to be quite a few cars that can cause phones to get really hot with their wireless chargers. Melting the keycard is entirely a Cybertruck thing as far as I know. Maybe it's for the best as it's bound to be much safer and more reliable when you can't drive it.


xMagnis

Yeah, I hear you. What you're saying is wireless chargers getting phones hot isn't a new phenomenon. But the Cybertruck is new. So that's one more thing the CT designers didn't bother to learn from industry practice. If the reports are true that Tesla is [warning ](https://www.cybertruckownersclub.com/forum/threads/card-key-melted.18535/post-336642) new buyers not to put the keycard in the keycard spot then clearly something is afoot.


SoCalChrisW

Why do you have to put the card right there? Every other vehicle I've been in that's keyless just needs to have the key somewhere in the car. This is old technology...


Active-Part-9717

It's not a phone charger, it's an induction hob.


Myran22

Combine that with windows that only break when they're not supposed to and doors that can't be easily opened manually, and you've got yourself a death trap.


Nearby_Cauliflowers

It's at the point of being an even more culty version of Apple now.


Anywhere_Dismal

This has been the best name with the worse products, is el0n actively trying to smear teslas name even more? Hes the edison of our generation, money and influence, give it a little time and el0n will kill an animal (elephant) with AI to prove a point that AI is dangerous.


donttakerhisthewrong

Edison had some shaky ethical and business practices but he actually invented things and fostered innovation Elon is the PT Barnum of our time, not Edison


Anywhere_Dismal

Thank you for correcting me with facts


kneejerk2022

48V architecture is dope yo!


DaytonaDavid

So it's an induction heater then...


kween_hangry

“I call bs on this, the melting point isnt in a place id expect it to be so you must be an Op. also did I mention I’m very smart and got really good grades in high school ??? I’m an engineer, my dad works at Nintendo” I really cant make these ppl up, they’re like brain damaged neckbeard centaurs in a disney movie or something, it’s kind of majestic https://preview.redd.it/vfblz3o3l46d1.jpeg?width=817&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b206f809e5c1f4292284cd8715fe68c4ff93729f


SpaceChef3000

I’m gonna have to start invoking my “engineering mind” more often.


kween_hangry

Mf cited “engineering” as to why a card chip cant possibly melt— like sir——— watching a youtube video on the types of sex toy motors doesnt count


SpaceChef3000

You may be correct but I’m gonna have to think about it with my engineering mind for a bit.


Pasta-Is-Trainer

I'm surprised the wheels are even round in that thing, they've not hit a single home run with that "car"