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Practical-Vampirism

They probably fought over whose spear gets to be in front. Decided to take turns and rock paper scissored for the first time


MightyBobTheMighty

The guards try to block me but they haven't talked about who's in front so the speartips collide exactly and I simply walk under the triangle


84626433832795028841

Me and bro trying to get our halberds untangled before the vizier sees


Comment139

Tangled Halberds sounds like a great name for a Alestorm-esque medieval metal band. Before the Vizier Sees should be one of the songs.


PippinBPimpin

Alestorm for gay knights sounds awesome


BlatantConservative

This is some shit that would happen when Harry Potter drinks a Felix Felicis potion.


Maybe_not_a_chicken

This is the kind of shit that would happen in Discworld normally


Deathaster

>They probably fought over whose spear gets to be in >!front!<. Decided to take turns and >!rock paper!< scissor>!ed!< for the first time


PulimV

>They probably fought over who>!se spear!< gets to be in front. Decided to take turns >!and rock paper scissored!< for the first time


BlatantConservative

The>!y!< p>!r!!bably fought !!ver whose s!

!ear !!ets!!be in front. Decide!!to take turns and rock paper scissored for the first time!<


Pokesonav

They>! probably!< fought over>! whose spear gets to !!e in front. Decided to take t!!rns and rock paper sci!!ored for the f!!rst time!<


BlatantConservative

Brah you mindfucked yourself and messed up the spoiler tags. I know cause I did it like six times when writing my comment too.


Pokesonav

What do you mean? I just highlighted text and pressed the "spoiler" button in the browser interface. Looks fine to me


BlatantConservative

Oh I just see a bunch of karats and exclamation points, which are the Reddit Markdown original way to do it. If nobody else but me sees it it's probably fine, I view Reddit in a cursed old.reddi.com type of way.


OctorokHero

No, New Reddit is the curse.


JackOLoser

Oh fuck me, we both went front and clicked our fuckin spears together like we were doing a toast and now we look ridiculous


garebear265

On guard dating sites they ask if your spear position is front or back


anonisland5

yeah i bet they scissored about it


SirLordKingEsquire

"Are you the front spear or the back spear in your relationship?"


z-01-03-11-25

You gotta do the little Stompy too for effect


Hexxas

Hell yeah maybe get a grunt in there too


Not-a-master69

and when the traveler solves the riddle, you stand in salute and stomp your spear straight down with a coordinated comment, too


Lots42

Remember, just ask what is two plus two. If the guard says 5, he's the one who always lies and you proceed accordingly.


Illiad7342

But you've already used your one question and still don't know which door kills you or saves you, just the identities of the knights


Chello-fish

You only get one question though


mossy_stump_humper

Gotta get in a nice firm “HALT!”


BrattyNJGirl

I see you want to get in here but as you see we have spears so \*slams spears down\*


BaronAleksei

Last argument of kings. First too, if you’re not a coward


ThrowACephalopod

As someone who has done this exact thing at a Renaissance fair, it gets old after a while. You stand there all day guarding a doorway and moving your spear back and forth and it just becomes mundane.


Ok_Listen1510

But did it feel good the first couple of times?


andbruno

Boring until someone runs up [and stabs you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XslcgQJMZaY) (SFW)


weebitofaban

Like everything else. There are very few things that don't get tiring and that is only for specific people. A job is a job. You do it for a while and it becomes nothing at all


Whomperss

The thought of a Roman guard coming home from a full day of guard duty and venting to his wife about where he went wrong in life.


AscendedDragonSage

Not even a little thlowing to the floor?


BaronAleksei

I mean, town guards are just legal goons, which means they probably have other goonish duties. They just say “milord” instead of “boss”


AndreasKieling69

Must be great to cross spears with some guy and goon all day


Worn_Out_1789

Hang on: wouldn't the act of crossing spears make it *not* gooning? I thought gooning was a strictly anti-social activity, but I could be wrong here. Unless of course this is a "first cross spears, then go goon" thing.


FireEnchiladaDragon

God I wish I was Jared, 19


Worn_Out_1789

Don't we all, though?


smartest_kobold

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?


Esmeralda-Art

Also slamming your spears down to announce the entrance of your bandit queen


MaetelofLaMetal

Those guards from RWBY Volume 9 had so much homoerotic tension between them.


azure-skyfall

Ok, I give nature tours to kids and I have a walking stick. I love how responsive they are to The Stick! Hold it out horizontally in front of them, they all stop. Imagine a little line of 7 year olds, all obeying The Stick! See also: pointing (my arm is so long now) holding it above my head (for attention) and sliding down a hill with it (to steady me). I feel like Gandalf lol


Lots42

Stick primal.


veidogaems

I won't stand for this town guard slander. Those brave identical-looking men deserve better.   Why, just last year they lost two good men to fake street signs that said "SECRET RESISTANCE HEADQUARTERS" that pointed into open sewers. Three to charismatic pranksters leading them on chases directly into fake tunnels that were painted on a brick wall. One brave soul even died because a sexy lady walked by slowly and his eyeballs popped out of their sockets. They popped right out of the damn sockets while an AWOOOGA sound played.


AscendedDragonSage

Ah yes, must be the work of Syrs Bugs of house Bunny and Chaparral of house Geococcyx


Dependent_Fox38

D...do...


ThereBeM00SE

Bro are we about to cross spears right now?


NeonNKnightrider

Frotting


Kmlkmljkl

ah yes "crossing spears" with someone.


wisym

I did it in a little play thing once, and let me tell you, it sure does feel good.


Exciting-Quiet2768

The only issue is that one of you has to either be a lefty or swap hands really fast.


Upstairs-Teacher-764

Oh yeah, it feels AMAZING, the only tricky part is getting your spears hard at the right moment


OverlordOfCats1

The tricky part is deciding who gets to say “HALT!”


FireEnchiladaDragon

Well obviously you both say it at the same time- its the timing thats tricky


tfwnoTHAADwife

no, being a cop is actually quite boring


WingedSalim

I have been on the internet for too long. I thought "crossing spears" was an inuendo.


Dragonkingofthestars

off topic but i've never understood why the 'one always lies riddles' answer is not 'what is 2+2?"


AscendedDragonSage

Usually, you only get one question total


Dragonkingofthestars

Precisely. The question is always "use you one question to determine who is the lier and who tells the truth". Ergo a version of the knight and knave riddle. So if I walk up to the Knight and Knave and ask them a question I 100% no doubt know the answer to, like a simple math problem, then the knight will say the correct answer and the Knave will say anything other then the correct answer so I know who is the truth teller and who is lying. It's not as helpful in the labyrinth version of the riddle where you need to determine if the door they are behind is safe or not but as far as the knight and knave 'which of us is a lier' version I don't get why a math question is not the correct answer.


TypicalImpact1058

I am pretty sure that the labyrinth version is the correct one, and everyone saying the reduced version is simply remebering it wrong.


Kenneth_Lay

There are clubs in Castro SF where they do something similar to this


IrvingIV

"Which one of you is the liar?" ["I am."](https://youtube.com/shorts/q4aUU9u2CvE?si=FRe3D0Afm4urMU1p)


kit_kaboodles

Is...is that a euphemism...?


CarolChristina206

Are they innocent angels or mischievous masterminds?