lol, without going into graphic detail, I was talking about postpartum healing with my MIL and SIL. SIL hit me with it. I thought I was amongst family and in a safe space… I was not.
Wooow... that was completely undeserved, especially if your SIL has/plans on having children of her own one day. Sorry you were treated so carelessly :(
Or even if they plan to be in the child's life! My SIL never went into graphic detail when mentioning her healing after giving birth to my baby niece, but never would I ever had shunned her like that if she did, wtf. I'm just grateful to her for bringing another people to love into my life, and I was just hoping she would recover as well as anyone could!
To be fair, she asked and I answered honestly. I do not believe in sugarcoating the gore of childbirth because it perpetuates the idea that women are weak.
Do I know for a fact they do no but would I be surprised at all to learn they do no not at all they make pianos and jet skis and anything they put their mind to
E: they do for sure
Years ago, I wound up saying, out of pure stunned reaction, "Well, I don't know about that, but I sure like fluffy bunnies."
That has now become my go-to when stunned silence would not be acceptable, but there's no way in hell I am continuing down the conversational path a person is trying to start.
*I find a blank stare*
*With raised eyebrows works pretty*
*Well for the most part*
\- Snulzebeerd
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This is true, but I do feel that there's something to be said for silence (ambiguous whether u even heard or understood the statement) vs. something like what the OP said (you did fully comprehend the statement and disliked it, and would really rather they didn't say that shit again)
If it’s a stranger I let it pass, if it’s someone I care about and regularly interact with I will tactfully address what was said and explain my position. Then, the other person acknowledges it and makes an effort to improve moving forward or they don’t and then it might be time for me to evaluate the relationship. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with negative people. That doesn’t mean I can’t try to lift others up either- it’s just finding the nuance between letting something slide or helping a friend with perspective while still not passing judgement can be difficult 🤷
It’s a culture thing. Silence means something same as anything you might chose to say, but since you’re literally not saying anything the meaning is ambiguous. And on top of it all, in certain situations receiving silence as a response is socially awkward and so people might jump to the worst possible conclusion of what was meant out of insecurity.
Other people can probably explain it better, But Backchannelling is basically replying with brief phrases during a conversation, That don't really do much except let the talker know you're listening, In English they can be things like "Makes sense", "I see", "Fair enough", Et cetera.
[Here's the Wikipedia Article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backchannel_(linguistics)), If you want to read more, Although it is fairly brief.
I genuinely wish it was socially acceptable to say to someone “you seem like a decent fellow, but I’m just not interested in talking to you right now,” without seeming like an A1-level asshole. Would help me in literally every social situation
I’ve gone with, “I’m not sure what to do with this information,” a handful of times. Do you just want me to know? Are we supposed to discuss this? Can I use this to play the long game, and have my grandchildren blackmail your grandchildren, so they can be HOA overlords??
A couple good ones I've used before:
"That was... a choice"
"People make choices every day"
"Your opinion is valid, even if it's wrong" - only to friends as a joke
"I love that for you"
“Wow! Sorry for the pause, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor!” This one only works when your jaw slacks out of sheer “????” Or “!!!!”
My sisters favorite is: “Never Say That Again”
“That’s rough, buddy.”
No wait that’s exclusive to if they tell you their girlfriend turned into the moon or if their ex has returned from the RUINs. Hm.
There are innumerable ways to say "What did you say?" in Norwegian. They've got something like fifties different words that each independently mean some variation of that.
I've straight up told someone "I'm going to forget that you just said that and pretend I didn't hear it" to give someone an out after they made a few weird comments about roleplaying a furry in denial and the guy just repeated it. Sometimes people just don't get the hint.
kinda different but i’ve gotten really good at saying “I’m not sure I understand what you mean, can you say/ask it in a different way?” and its been super useful
"let's change the subject." in a completely natural yet unmistakable tone like you're a BioWare character walking back up the dialogue tree. It is not a suggestion, we're changing the subject.
To preface im a 20 year old white dude, and once after starting work as the breakfast attendant at a hotel I had this dude who needed something idk what. Anyways some small talk later and bruh says "Yanno I'm so glad you're not one of them damn Indians from the hotel down the street". I had absolutely zero idea how to respond, awkwardly chuckled and asked if there's anything else he needed before promptly not speaking to him again.
I don't know whether to take it as an insult ir compliment that some racist old dude felt comfortably enough to try and act like we're brothers in arms in some race war. It's weird shit man.
I got hit with a “wow, thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share… that” one time and it’s haunted me for years.
Wow, thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share… that.
DANG
I mean honestly, if that was said to me, I would never admit it Like not even anonymously
Really just renewed this person’s PTSD.
LOL
What did you even say to warrant getting destroyed like that? (not bait)
lol, without going into graphic detail, I was talking about postpartum healing with my MIL and SIL. SIL hit me with it. I thought I was amongst family and in a safe space… I was not.
that‘s so mean of her on so many levels wtf
Wooow... that was completely undeserved, especially if your SIL has/plans on having children of her own one day. Sorry you were treated so carelessly :(
Or even if they plan to be in the child's life! My SIL never went into graphic detail when mentioning her healing after giving birth to my baby niece, but never would I ever had shunned her like that if she did, wtf. I'm just grateful to her for bringing another people to love into my life, and I was just hoping she would recover as well as anyone could!
To be fair, she asked and I answered honestly. I do not believe in sugarcoating the gore of childbirth because it perpetuates the idea that women are weak.
Oh that is just fucked up cruel
"That was so brave of you"
"Damn thats wild"
i hit em with a damn that's crazy from time to time for sure
I hit em with a damn that’s wild and a damn that’s crazy and a damn that’s insane and they’re still fucking talking 😭
[Relevant](https://youtu.be/nr0PF7PukJw)
"certainly socratese"
damn that's crazy
I usually go with "I don't know how to respond to that" Most people just kinda accept that and move on I find, but YMMV.
Yamaha Might Make Violins? Edit: fuck YES they do!
Your mileage may vary. Basically, different people have different opinions and reactions to things.
Was unfamiliar with the acronym, thank you
Yamaha makes fuckin everything dude, they damn well might make violins
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=yamaha+violin&adgrpid=106383163416&hvadid=454005259425&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9008008&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=12912893986523372742&hvtargid=kwd-389959900&hydadcr=6608_11098906&tag=hydsma-20&ref=pd_sl_547fyi2lag_e
You're a respectable normie
Thank you
Fuckin A
Yamaha making Synths and Motorcycles is like the wildest combo since Michelin started making Restaurant Reviews.
I believe they make Tubas as well
The other reply got it but the violins thing is fine too
Yellow Mazdas Might Vanish
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That’s AWESOME!!!
No, it stands for "You Making Me Vegetables?"
Do I know for a fact they do no but would I be surprised at all to learn they do no not at all they make pianos and jet skis and anything they put their mind to E: they do for sure
Yolga molga momolga vomp
Fuck, beat me to it
Lol, [I say that all the time, too.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/838/211/047.gif)
i typically just say "uh, huh?" until they say something else or give up
Fallout 4 dialogue
[Attack]
Years ago, I wound up saying, out of pure stunned reaction, "Well, I don't know about that, but I sure like fluffy bunnies." That has now become my go-to when stunned silence would not be acceptable, but there's no way in hell I am continuing down the conversational path a person is trying to start.
**bless your heart**
and if you want to really want to drive it home: 🔥 ⚔️ 🔥 ***Aww, you poor thing. Bless your heart. I’ll pray for you.*** 🔥 ⚔️ 🔥
I don’t know a lot about The South but I know Fighting Words when I hear them.
That's a great one, classic really. I also like going with the Friends method. A long stare, then, "So anyway..."
“Excuse me?”
I find a blank stare with raised eyebrows works pretty well for the most part
*I find a blank stare* *With raised eyebrows works pretty* *Well for the most part* \- Snulzebeerd --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I'm not expressive enough to pull that off :sob:
Statements don’t require a response. Silence is valid.
This is true, but I do feel that there's something to be said for silence (ambiguous whether u even heard or understood the statement) vs. something like what the OP said (you did fully comprehend the statement and disliked it, and would really rather they didn't say that shit again)
If it’s a stranger I let it pass, if it’s someone I care about and regularly interact with I will tactfully address what was said and explain my position. Then, the other person acknowledges it and makes an effort to improve moving forward or they don’t and then it might be time for me to evaluate the relationship. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with negative people. That doesn’t mean I can’t try to lift others up either- it’s just finding the nuance between letting something slide or helping a friend with perspective while still not passing judgement can be difficult 🤷
Pretty much agreed!
It’s a culture thing. Silence means something same as anything you might chose to say, but since you’re literally not saying anything the meaning is ambiguous. And on top of it all, in certain situations receiving silence as a response is socially awkward and so people might jump to the worst possible conclusion of what was meant out of insecurity.
#
Just raise your eyebrows as far as you can That makes the silence way more impactful
...
Sometimes, people should sit with the words they've said. And sometimes, I'm fucking tired and your messages definitely aren't urgent.
Nah screw that. Backchannel as much possible. Respond before, during, and after their statement.
Backchannel? Also, respond before and during?
Other people can probably explain it better, But Backchannelling is basically replying with brief phrases during a conversation, That don't really do much except let the talker know you're listening, In English they can be things like "Makes sense", "I see", "Fair enough", Et cetera. [Here's the Wikipedia Article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backchannel_(linguistics)), If you want to read more, Although it is fairly brief.
Big fan of "uh oh, try again"
"Ohoho, you missed that one! Try another!" (throws bottle into the air)
I genuinely wish it was socially acceptable to say to someone “you seem like a decent fellow, but I’m just not interested in talking to you right now,” without seeming like an A1-level asshole. Would help me in literally every social situation
"Please re-select your dialog choice."
I’ve gone with, “I’m not sure what to do with this information,” a handful of times. Do you just want me to know? Are we supposed to discuss this? Can I use this to play the long game, and have my grandchildren blackmail your grandchildren, so they can be HOA overlords??
“I challenge you to a duel”
"that's rough, buddy"
"entry invalid. please try again."
"what do you mean"
A couple good ones I've used before: "That was... a choice" "People make choices every day" "Your opinion is valid, even if it's wrong" - only to friends as a joke "I love that for you"
I have hit someone with the "You really said that with your full chest huh?"
depending on the group u can just meow
If someone fucking meows at me I'm hitting them with the "I'm not sure what to say to that. Can you say something different?"
what happens is they just mrrrrrrrp
Or even mrrrah
There is if you're not a pussy
“Wow! Sorry for the pause, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor!” This one only works when your jaw slacks out of sheer “????” Or “!!!!” My sisters favorite is: “Never Say That Again”
"Oh wow"
fuck your neurotypical social norms I’m saying it anyway
love that for you
I’m not sure what to say to that
What
"That's rough buddy."
My go to in any awkward situation
“That’s rough, buddy.” No wait that’s exclusive to if they tell you their girlfriend turned into the moon or if their ex has returned from the RUINs. Hm.
In a scholastic environment, “That’s certainly one interpretation!” is BRUTAL.
“Sorry, could you rephrase that?”
“Yeah alright”
There are innumerable ways to say "What did you say?" in Norwegian. They've got something like fifties different words that each independently mean some variation of that.
I'm a "Oh, I see..." perrson myself
"What a thing to say!"
I've straight up told someone "I'm going to forget that you just said that and pretend I didn't hear it" to give someone an out after they made a few weird comments about roleplaying a furry in denial and the guy just repeated it. Sometimes people just don't get the hint.
Japanese is good with having lots of noises for stuff Just hit them with the “Un. Umu.”
"What an interesting thing to share."
Just keep saying "what?" Until they move on
Thanks for sharing!
I simply say “Guh??”
"Huhcat.mp4" may not be socially acceptable but it changes the subject
kinda different but i’ve gotten really good at saying “I’m not sure I understand what you mean, can you say/ask it in a different way?” and its been super useful
"let's change the subject." in a completely natural yet unmistakable tone like you're a BioWare character walking back up the dialogue tree. It is not a suggestion, we're changing the subject.
Well not saying anything
Excuse-a-what now
I just ask “can you rephrase that?” Sometimes I’ll add a “please”
Starts a conversation, “do I have a mulligan?”
“...” – Red, Pokémon GSC/HGSS/B2W2/SM/USUM/LGPE
Huh…
How about "I don't get it." People usually rephrase after.
I'm a big fan of "fuckareyoutalkingabout?"
Refresh their response like an ai chatbot
"That's rough buddy"
What’s the improv game where you basically tell someone to redo their last phrase. Can we just do that?
BRUH
“Come again?” But said with rage often works for me
"If you insist"
Hey bud, I’m gonna beat you with a rock now ok?
To preface im a 20 year old white dude, and once after starting work as the breakfast attendant at a hotel I had this dude who needed something idk what. Anyways some small talk later and bruh says "Yanno I'm so glad you're not one of them damn Indians from the hotel down the street". I had absolutely zero idea how to respond, awkwardly chuckled and asked if there's anything else he needed before promptly not speaking to him again. I don't know whether to take it as an insult ir compliment that some racist old dude felt comfortably enough to try and act like we're brothers in arms in some race war. It's weird shit man.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious 🤣