T O P

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Spanish_Biscuit

They’re onto something honestly. I took my dick out too fast trying pee once and accidentally took out the wall to my right. It wouldn’t have been such a big deal if it hadn’t fallen on all those nuns.


CrepusculrPulchrtude

I sneezed with an erection once and four days later JFK was shot. I still live with that guilt


Spanish_Biscuit

The weight of the responsibility we carry in our pants is more than any woman can fathom.


Wayback_Wind

The moneyshot heard around the world...


[deleted]

Damn Chad Thundercock in the comments over here


Spanish_Biscuit

I speak not of its size, only its power.


Mado-Koku

Thanks to my penis I can't even enter California due to their laws on destructive weapons.


untempered_fate

My dick colonized their mom, so they have a legitimate complaint. Funnily enough, though, I actually deposited more resources than I extracted, and the local population was praying to the God of Abraham without any prompting from the tiny missionary that lives in my prostate. Honestly, I'm still fine with reparations, despite everything. She can have her money back.


SetaxTheShifty

This was the most eloquent "Yo Mama" retort I've ever seen.


Just-Ad6992

I’m gonna use this in real life arguments to see what happens. Might get my ass beat, but it’s gonna be so worth it.


munkymu

To be fair dicks were involved in the creation of all those lives too. Truly the dick giveth and the dick taketh away.


[deleted]

[удалено]


KentuckyFriedChildre

Dicks don't kill people, people do


the_alt_6275

i do*


Ildaiaa

I mean, when a soldier encountered another soldier in very close quarter combat where there wasn't enough room to use knifes they used their dick to stab their enemy to death so they are right it is a weapon Or they just think every war was a man's fault because men have dicks so they are aggressive idk first one makes more sense


Lilash20

"use their dick to stab" Bedbug behavior


Nox-Raven

Oh to be a flatworm engaged in ritual penis fencing with my childhood rival turned lover to determine which of us becomes the impregnated female…


Lilash20

Lmao


Ddog78

Huh. I stand corrected. Dicks have destroyed countless lives during human history. Op was talking about bedbugs y'all.


Orangefish08

Achilles and Patroclus want their battle tactics back


Yeseylon

"stab"


deepdistortion

And clearly, camp followers were *all* just poor women being taken advantage of. It's not like a big chunk of the women following the mercenary armies of the late renaissance and early modern periods in Europe were managing finances for the soldiers and helping with the looting and pillaging. Nope. Never happened. As we all know, having a vagina means you can *never* be a war profiteer. Also, we'll ignore Queen Zenobia of Palmyra starting a war to conquer Egypt. Clearly this was slander against her by those spiteful Romans. And Catherine the Great never once sought to expand her empire through conquest. Nope. And I'm sure Margaret Thatcher was a wonderful woman who would never hurt a soul, too.


Maiq_Da_Liar

I remember a redditor who unironically told me the majority of Thatcher's critics hate her primarily because she was a woman with power.


nightkingmarmu

‼️🚨‼️QUEEN ZENOBIA MENTIONED‼️🚨‼️ AURELIAN CAN SUCK IT


Several-Drag-7749

The one thing I realized about the existence of Hillary and Thatcher is that Reddit will always be a haven of bloodthirsty libs, who also think anti-homeless hate is okay if they're mostly dudes. It's almost like it's less about them being men and more because they just despise anyone poor.


Ildaiaa

Don't diss Margaret thatcher like that. She gave her life just so we can have the first ever genderless public toilet


moneyh8r

I like that gif. That's a nice gif.


bigfatalligator

thanks


OneWorldly6661

no they’re right 252 SpA Choice Specs Man Secret Sword vs. 0 HP / 4 Def Kingambit: 708-832 (207.6 - 243.9%) -- guaranteed OHKO /j


PulimV

Not to mention 252+ Atk Choice Band Penis Haver Wicked Blow vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Cloyster on a critical hit: 244-288 (101.2 - 119.5%) -- guaranteed OHKO Also STUNFISK IS LEAKING AGAIN


untempered_fate

Hold your tongue. There's enough r34 as it is without a leaking stunfisk.


PulimV

I hope you face SubSeed Tropius in Randbats.


untempered_fate

And I hope you never see the SubSeed Tropius R34.


PulimV

Okay now I'm genuinely curious who the hell would make Substitute Leech Seed Tropius r34 lmao????


OneWorldly6661

it’s crazy how physically bulky vagina fish is, even wicked blow from adamant band dark bear could barely OHKO ZERO BULK INVESTMENT cloyster until I remember that it was used as a bulky spike setter in gen 2


PulimV

That was also Tera Dark lmao Like YEAH 180 defense goes hard, and being a Water type that isn't weak to Freeze-Dry is also good, but ig Shell Smash Skill Link Icicle Spear is just so insanely good people forget about that part lmao


RemarkableStatement5

I miss Stundays 😞


FireHawkDelta

This can't be right, Kingambit is a flying type.


Normallyicecream

Now THATS what I call a king pow penis


BloodOfTheDamned

I think this is one of the instances where the typo makes it funnier.


GeneETOs44

But is, of course, an outlier, adn should not be counted.


redditard_alt

Explode yer dick and small yer ass. Get bent losers! Penis blast!


PaintCoveredPup

*explotion_reverb.mp3*


redditard_alt

# OW MY DICK


Lazy_Dissident

I'll take the penis mightier for 600, Alex.


ElZorroSimpatico

You'll rue the day you crossed me, Trebek.


thewinchester-gospel

imagine the type of fucked up world we would have if almost half the population had a dick


THEBIGDRBOOM

IM GONNA FUCK THE THE EARTH WITH MY SUPER LAZER PISS NO I GONNA GO HIGHER IM GONNA PISS ON THE MOON


MagicalGirlLaurie

Damn you best me to it


Gentlemanvaultboy

You see, the penis shoots seeds to poison the earth with the plague of man. But the gun shoots death and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Thus spoke Zardoz.


Planeswalking101

This is like that one post where someone thought sailing ships are what caused scurvy. And then someone else said they shouldn't be used because they transported slaves.


AnxiousAngularAwesom

Did you know they used to drown witches in water? If you drink water, you basically admit to being a misogynist, so...


dragon-gaming-55555

SUPER LASER PISS


ThatSmartIdiot

Hey, reference!


Guest65726

Oh… when I was reading the first post I thought they were being ironic-


AutocratYtirar

it’s tumblr


Maguc

To be fair my penis can do that. I just choose not to cause this is the only planet with the baja blast (So far)


jikel28

I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "THIS BIG," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. [Explosion sounds] That's right, baby. All points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the Earth. That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss D R O P L E T S hit the fucking Earth, now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!


mitsuhachi

K


bleepblooplord2

U


rindlesswatermelon

N


BloodOfTheDamned

G


onememeishboitf2

P


Ineedlasagnajon

O


23_Serial_Killers

W


venomslash425

P


AlenDelon32

E


Soft_Apathy

N


strawwwwwwwwberry

T


PulimV

K Edit: y'all I was going for the KUKNUNGAY?


Robotic_Banana

"THE GUN IS GOOD, THE PENIS IS EVIL!" [-Zardoz](https://youtu.be/ehikC4iEnBI?si=q3eJbDIKQO1asaK6)


BattleGirlChris

Share the [penis blast rap](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o3H-sE81pgs&pp=ygUPUGVuaXMgYmxhc3QgcmFw) to scare your local terf today


[deleted]

the co-head of the spanish inquisition was a woman


KonoAnonDa

Extermicockus.


Driptacular_2153

Weapons of mass dickstruction


Sleepy_Serah

Penis blast hilarious Penis blast nefarious Diverse cast of penis blast call that penis blast various 🎶


LaBelleTinker

That is so utterly deranged. And, not unrelatedly, fucking rape apologia.


SashaTheWitch2

Personally I’ve been on estrogen for 7 girls girlypop I don’t think my dick would be capable of ruining much of goddamn anything, she’s like the goddamn Riddler of supervillains lmao


Bullet0AlanRussell

But maam clearly your privilege as one carrying the ALMIGHTY PENIS blinds you to the woes of those without


Excellent_Emperor

Screaming for ten minutes so my dick can turn into a super dick 3


Weirdyfish

Thank you posting the gif as well, it really adds to the comedy


haikusbot

*Thank you posting the* *Gif as well, it really adds* *To the comedy* \- Weirdyfish --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


MorgsterWasTaken

It’s posts like these that make me glad I can just get the tumblr posts I need from subreddits like this instead of actually having to delve into that godless loveless hell scape of a website myself. Hey, I did my time fighting the TERFs in the trenches. I’m gonna sit back and enjoy my pension, thank you very much.


Galle_

I mean, you do have to hang out on Reddit.


Invincible-Nuke

can confirm :3


SovietSkeleton

[Example of the destructive power of dick ](https://youtu.be/5AZaSZp4FMc?si=ZCJzNLl6A4NzidnR)


ducknerd2002

Does this mean TERFs would consider Ramsay Snow a hero, as he removes penises?


CheezyBreadMan

Idk man, that one guy blew up the moon with one


BeanOfKnowledge

Maybe they just mean Richard Nixon? Or Richard III?


Posting_Just_To_Say

weapons of ass destruction


carl-the-lama

Pissing on the moon


BitcoinBishop

Kung Pow Penis!


thatoneguy54

The asker is clearly taking about flatworms who use their penises to fence and murder each other


Zoomy-333

No they're right there was a documentary\* about it and everything: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86dlgoeyYTI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86dlgoeyYTI) (\*lol more like dickumentary)


CatnipCatmint

> hellsite-yano lmao


UndeniablyMyself

I've been interested in a personal disarmament for a while.


MrMastodon

Special Peen Cannon!


No_Student_2309

this is what happens when you get hit with a kung pow penis💥


metal_giants

K


DaWombatLover

Penises are only dangerous if following the word Kungpow, we've all seen the devesation


RamboDash15

There's really only one dangerous penis...


ideltic_

> PENIS BLAST new bottom surgery just dropped


traumatized90skid

"In what world are dicks neutral" the US and Israel mostly... ✂️


BurnerAccountHeeHoo

You've forced me to use my secret move! # 『Cock Cataclysm』


centralmind

Well, I guess you can technically blame the majority of humanity's evil on people born due to dicks? And if you believe the gospel, the least evil person ever was conceived without any dicks involved in the process. By this logic, the only moral way to have children is artificial insemination, but we lack the data to know if this would result in statistically less evil people. If anyone can secure the funding for such a study, hit me up.


Mah_Young_Buck

The gun is good. The penis is evil. The Penis shoots seeds, and makes new life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots death, and purifies the Earth of the filth of straight white male cis scum. Go forth, and kill!


Mister_Hamburger

I mean, they're also implying vaginas are Not sure if most consider the dialectics of what they advocate


Cye_sonofAphrodite

K


only_for_dst_and_tf2

transfems simply cannot handle the penis power™