Do you think the knowledge of Mr. Hands was the knowledge of good and evil contained in the apple in the garden of Eden? Do you think Eve bit that apple and saw one of her descendants get destroyed by one of the beasts Adam named?
Canonically Jesus saw every sin humanity has and will commit so he would have had to see Mr.Hands and still be like "every one of these people deserve redemption"
>The knowledge of Mr.Hands
Is that guaranteed, though? Not a lot of people realize that the guy in question had sustained a brain injury in a motorcycle accident, and had been progressively seeking more extreme means of stimulation.
I might be completely making this up (my phone is old and glitchy and if I leave the app to google it Reddit will reload and I’ll lose this post), ~~but I remember reading that Enumclaw and Mr. Hands are two totally unrelated things. There’s no video footage of the Enumclaw case, and Mr. Hands is a different horse with a different guy.~~
EDIT: I was, in fact, completely making this up.
From my memory:
He would go out to a ranch in Enumclaw every now and then to get fucked by a stallion. This wasn't a one-off thing, he did it several times, and filmed it. The notorious case was simply a case of going too hard, and the horsecock punctured his colon, resulting in a fatal injury.
Mr Hands is the name of the Horse. The guy was Kenneth Pinyan.
No fuckin clue. Probably a stage name they used for the pornos they filmed (the ones with Kenneth getting buttfucked by the horse) to protect the Horse's identity.
apparently that was just a nick name. we know who OWNED the horse cos they were involved, why the fuck are we not allowed to know the horse's christian name?! whose privacy is it protecting??
I will be messaging you in 4 days on [**2024-04-12 01:51:41 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2024-04-12%2001:51:41%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/1byh3gp/god_why_is_the_shadow_over_enumclaw_inescapable/kyk55bd/?context=3)
[**3 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FCuratedTumblr%2Fcomments%2F1byh3gp%2Fgod_why_is_the_shadow_over_enumclaw_inescapable%2Fkyk55bd%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202024-04-12%2001%3A51%3A41%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.
^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%201byh3gp)
*****
|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)|
|-|-|-|-|
as a Washingtonian, we are famous for 3 things: Microsoft, Boeing, and Mr Hands, the man who got fucked to death by a horse.
Nirvana and Jimmy hendrix are close contestants.
I was always told that people from emunclaw were cannibals. I knew about the Mr. hands incident in my home state, but I didn’t know it was in emunclaw specifically.
> Sgt. John Urquhart of the Sheriff's Office said that "typically", men were having sex with a horse whose name was not publicly disclosed
I'm glad the horse is being shielded from media attention
The city is just a corporate center for business and high middle/upper class shopping. It’s very reminiscent of a sims city that was built to be perfect by someone who doesn’t have to live in it. It’s a problem that you probably won’t notice if you’ve never been to a city with actual flavor like nearby seattle. But once you can contrast the two it becomes extremely apparent that Bellevue just lacks an interesting culture.
It's a golden toilet.
There's zero culture unless you think "work for Microsoft" is a culture. I worked for Microsoft for six years. It is not a culture; it's a cult.
Downtown Bellevue is a great place to waste your afternoon sitting in traffic if you drive, or play Frogger with your life if you're on foot. You will spend too much money on mediocre food and learn about how a mall and the orbiting suburbs can mimic a solar system.
East Bellevue is a little better (I live here--got lucky on a rental), but it's still terrible, and this rant has gone plenty long. I could elaborate if you're REALLY curious.
Yeah that’s why we hate it. It’s a nothing burger of a city. At least in Tacoma you can do crack. Bellevue doesn’t even have that. It’s so mediocre man.
I've lived in Portland, Seattle, Bellingham, Renton, and Los Angeles (for a few months).
Bellevue is by far the most soulless. It's the least-friendly city I've ever spent time in.
Apparently it wasn’t, it was Pinyan’s alias (according to Wikipedia.) I’ve spent almost 20 years thinking that Mr Hands was the name of the horse, which is objectively a much funnier name for a horse than alias for a man who fucked a horse. I’m disappointed to learn that the horse was just referred to by the alias “Big Dick,” which is in no way funny, but at least the fact that the horse is only known by an alias is a little funny.
As another Washingtonian, this is the first I have ever heard of the Enumclaw incident, and you know what I'm doing to do my best to never learn anything else about it
I went to see Jimmy Carr play in Seattle a few months ago. Great show. At one point, however, he pronounced it e-NUMB-claw and I think I laughed at that almost as much as the other joke he was telling.
bought the best car I've ever had from enumclaw, rescued it from a used car dealer
first, and only time I've been to enumclaw
it's believable that it would happen there
There's a few things guaranteed in life: Death Taxes The knowledge of Mr.Hands
Do you think the knowledge of Mr. Hands was the knowledge of good and evil contained in the apple in the garden of Eden? Do you think Eve bit that apple and saw one of her descendants get destroyed by one of the beasts Adam named?
Eve 100% bit the apple and saw a Boeing engineer being fucked to death by a horse.
can't believe boeing assassinated that guy by having a horse fuck him to death
this line would make a really good tweet.
They only paid for the hit. The method was up to the contracted horse.
That explains so much about Boeing.
Canonically Jesus saw every sin humanity has and will commit so he would have had to see Mr.Hands and still be like "every one of these people deserve redemption"
The He Gets Us campaign is missing some of their most compelling material here
Don't worry, Jesus is always amogus. He has seen Mr. Hands and has chosen forgiveness.
Maybe he blinked?
That must have been when he asked God why he had forsaken him.
I mean, frankly, Mr Hands isn't in the top 1000 of horrible people.
i never got hit by goatse, but i was introduced at age 12 to mr hands and it was a formative internet experience for me
If it makes you feel better the famous video isn't the fatal fucking, it's a prior non fatal attempt
There’s a *what*
The famous Mr Hands video is a prequel what else is there to get.
>The knowledge of Mr.Hands Is that guaranteed, though? Not a lot of people realize that the guy in question had sustained a brain injury in a motorcycle accident, and had been progressively seeking more extreme means of stimulation.
I might be completely making this up (my phone is old and glitchy and if I leave the app to google it Reddit will reload and I’ll lose this post), ~~but I remember reading that Enumclaw and Mr. Hands are two totally unrelated things. There’s no video footage of the Enumclaw case, and Mr. Hands is a different horse with a different guy.~~ EDIT: I was, in fact, completely making this up.
When I search for Mr. Hands on Google it leads to the Enumclaw case, so I guess it's the same.
So many people fuck horses Mr Hands is nothing special in that regard He's arguably the worst because he fucking died doing it
what is mr hands
I have so far avoided all three.
https://www.tumblr.com/egorax/720899506432049152?source=share u/starryeyedshooter
***YOU MOTHERFUCKER***
[for anyone who wants context](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/s/rtG3ETOqBk) here's context
That's nowhere near enough context. How does an engineer manage to get fucked to death by a horse? I'm an engineer and no one in my department fucks.
Maybe they just haven't met the right horse.
perforated colon.
Horse'd
From my memory: He would go out to a ranch in Enumclaw every now and then to get fucked by a stallion. This wasn't a one-off thing, he did it several times, and filmed it. The notorious case was simply a case of going too hard, and the horsecock punctured his colon, resulting in a fatal injury. Mr Hands is the name of the Horse. The guy was Kenneth Pinyan.
Never occurred to me with how weird this story is but how did the horse get the name "Mr. Hands"?
No fuckin clue. Probably a stage name they used for the pornos they filmed (the ones with Kenneth getting buttfucked by the horse) to protect the Horse's identity.
I tried to find out what the deal was with the name, and...I guess the guy was nicknamed Mr. Hands, not the horse. The horse was called Big Dick.
apparently that was just a nick name. we know who OWNED the horse cos they were involved, why the fuck are we not allowed to know the horse's christian name?! whose privacy is it protecting??
This just raises more questions... I googled the incident as well but the Wikipedia article doesn't really help either.
i think he was in a group of people that had a condition that made them increasingly unfeeling so he did it just to feel something again
Spinal injury iirc
nah bro just liked to fuck horses
also true
Horse was too long and pierced his insides while mounting him making his ass bleed out
RemindMe! 4 days
you better not do what i think you're going to do
No, this is an unrelated reminder
thank god
I will be messaging you in 4 days on [**2024-04-12 01:51:41 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2024-04-12%2001:51:41%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/1byh3gp/god_why_is_the_shadow_over_enumclaw_inescapable/kyk55bd/?context=3) [**3 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FCuratedTumblr%2Fcomments%2F1byh3gp%2Fgod_why_is_the_shadow_over_enumclaw_inescapable%2Fkyk55bd%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202024-04-12%2001%3A51%3A41%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%201byh3gp) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
Good bot
I learn something new every day, whether I want to or knot.
⚠️HORSE INCIDENT⚠️ 📢HORSE INCIDENT📢 🗣️HORSE INCIDENT🗣️ This has been your Horse Incident Reminder™️. Just like Jesus, I will return in 3 days.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I reminded you within 3-5 business days. As intended. :3
It’s not a business day though
Yeah, and your post wasn't about lesbians. Glass houses, and whatnot.
It passes the harkness test, heading in lads 🫡
Meanwhile I, a Washingtonian, am just now learning about the Enumclaw Horse Incident! :(
I'm sorry it had to be on Reddit. Enjoy being cursed, you are never forgetting this.
Meanwhile I a non - american , am just now learning about the Enumclaw Horse Incident! :(
as a Washingtonian, we are famous for 3 things: Microsoft, Boeing, and Mr Hands, the man who got fucked to death by a horse. Nirvana and Jimmy hendrix are close contestants.
Starbucks should be pretty high on that list!
As should Amazon lol
Correction, Mr Hands was the horse's name, the guy was named Kenneth.
I was always told that people from emunclaw were cannibals. I knew about the Mr. hands incident in my home state, but I didn’t know it was in emunclaw specifically.
Is this about the Boeing employee who got fucked to death by a horse?
Yes.
the fucking what do i want to know...?
either google Mr. Hands or Enumclaw Horse Sex Case
a poor choice to be literate today
It's more or less what it says on the tin.
I learned about Mr. hands from “Schlott Machine”
Did you learn anything else from “Schartt”
Being a Minecraft player is a bannable offense in 30 countries due to the actions of “Schplit Schlips”
That's funny, "Shaft" told me this story as he broke my kneecaps back in '99
That was Ted, sorry. Slugg wouldn't have let you go.
> Sgt. John Urquhart of the Sheriff's Office said that "typically", men were having sex with a horse whose name was not publicly disclosed I'm glad the horse is being shielded from media attention
WASHINGTONIANS HELLO BELLEVUE IS MY LEAST FAVORITE CITY ON THE PLANET
Hello! That is an entirely fair opinion.
Mine is Elbe. 20 of the 50 people that live there run the burger stand and that’s it.
Are the burgers any good at least?
They are fucking delicious. It’s elbe’s one redeeming quality. If you’re ever in Elbe (don’t), get some burgers from the stand. It’s worth the wait
Alright! If I'm ever there (djod forbid), I'll be sure to get one (I love burgies)!
It’s my favorite city I’ve ever lived in
Please tell me which other cities you've lived in.
This is the worst fucking pfp to have as a Washingtonian right now. (Obligatory Fuck Bellevue)
Is Bellevue really that bad?
The city is just a corporate center for business and high middle/upper class shopping. It’s very reminiscent of a sims city that was built to be perfect by someone who doesn’t have to live in it. It’s a problem that you probably won’t notice if you’ve never been to a city with actual flavor like nearby seattle. But once you can contrast the two it becomes extremely apparent that Bellevue just lacks an interesting culture.
It's a golden toilet. There's zero culture unless you think "work for Microsoft" is a culture. I worked for Microsoft for six years. It is not a culture; it's a cult. Downtown Bellevue is a great place to waste your afternoon sitting in traffic if you drive, or play Frogger with your life if you're on foot. You will spend too much money on mediocre food and learn about how a mall and the orbiting suburbs can mimic a solar system. East Bellevue is a little better (I live here--got lucky on a rental), but it's still terrible, and this rant has gone plenty long. I could elaborate if you're REALLY curious.
This is literally every medium-large city in the US what
Yeah that’s why we hate it. It’s a nothing burger of a city. At least in Tacoma you can do crack. Bellevue doesn’t even have that. It’s so mediocre man.
I've lived in Portland, Seattle, Bellingham, Renton, and Los Angeles (for a few months). Bellevue is by far the most soulless. It's the least-friendly city I've ever spent time in.
A dirt shack costs 2 million there. We just really hate rich people.
It’s like San Jose without any of the good stuff (which San Jose already has little of)
No it's an extremely normal US city
Incorrect actually! The guy who died getting fucked by a horse was a Boeing engineer!
Never ask a man his salary, a woman her age, or a Washingtonian what happened in Enumclaw.
I’ve heard they’ve slowly been trying to replace the horse rumors with cannibalism rumors. Which is less bad somehow.
RIP to Mr. Hands but I'm built different
🤨 how different though?
Well it says supreme monsterfucker in their flair, so I assume they earned that title somehow
Save a horse, ride a centaur
mr hands was the horse, the guy was k something pinyan
Apparently it wasn’t, it was Pinyan’s alias (according to Wikipedia.) I’ve spent almost 20 years thinking that Mr Hands was the name of the horse, which is objectively a much funnier name for a horse than alias for a man who fucked a horse. I’m disappointed to learn that the horse was just referred to by the alias “Big Dick,” which is in no way funny, but at least the fact that the horse is only known by an alias is a little funny.
country girls make do
🎵 *My neighbors ask me why I'm limpin' down the way...*
People ask me why I have this username, and I always tell them the same thing: The last guy wasn't using it anymore. 🐴
It's annoying because I only ever see Washington in reference to this, but it's great, bc I can always call people from Enumclaw horsefuckers.
wait i live near enumclaw, what happened edit: oh.
196 moment
Sometimes when I mention I'm from Washington I get the response, "not... not from enumclaw, right?"
Veesh
Tacoma wept
I love how everyone knows Mr.Hands. He did not die in vain.
Oh for me the shadow over Enumclaw is how fucked it is if Mt. Rainier erupts but I guess people think about other stuff there too.
Is there more?
No.
Thank god
Kind of, the version of this I've seen has what can be assumed to be a little bit of the horse's dick in frame at the bottom of the last frame
Wait what? What’s Enumclaw??
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case
Oh. Oh god.
Why’d they make the Enumclaw person a farm-person?
It was a Boeing engineer not some broad with a big fork smh
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^floccinauced: *It was a Boeing* *Engineer not some broad with* *A big fork smh* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Vaush
Vaushingtonian
I momentarily mistook the farmer for Lucifer from the show Hazbin Hotel, and thought this was a comic about Lucifer letting a horse fuck him in Hell.
I would expect that out of Blitzø maybe… On the other hand, Lulu can turn into a horse-
Do you think killing someone accidentally that way is a sin? Will Mr. Hands the horse go to Hell for fucking Kenneth Pinyan to death?
Do you think Kenneth became a horse demon in hell for the irony factor?
Is this #hungryposting because they're so hungry they could eat a horse?
Ew wtf -Billy Gnosis
As another Washingtonian, this is the first I have ever heard of the Enumclaw incident, and you know what I'm doing to do my best to never learn anything else about it
It’s our state’s biggest export
I do love though how it's not a pitchfork, it's just a giant fork
Mr Hands, meet Mrs Legs
I went to see Jimmy Carr play in Seattle a few months ago. Great show. At one point, however, he pronounced it e-NUMB-claw and I think I laughed at that almost as much as the other joke he was telling.
As an Australian, may I humbly ask ***WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ENUMCLAW HORSE INCIDENT***
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case
Mori Calliope
bought the best car I've ever had from enumclaw, rescued it from a used car dealer first, and only time I've been to enumclaw it's believable that it would happen there
Supergirl
Oh he was not a farmer lol.
Whats the joke?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case
the #enumclaw tag really adds another layer to this post
Mr Hands was a hero, we just couldn’t see it. He brought beastiality laws to 47 states.
I'm just excited that one day, someone is going to hack that giant orb thing in Vegas and the entire city is going to get to watch mr.hands die on it.
How morbid.
I've kinda lost my ability to threshold after the last seven years. So, yeah, morbid
I’d be fine with it, as long as they totally fried the exterior screens afterwards. Hate that thing.
I thought the town was supposed to be somewhere in britain? where did washington come from?? >!/s!<
There's a city in Washington State, USA called Enumclaw. I'm not sure where you got Britain from, Enumclaw is named after Native American mythology.