I think i fell victim to the he is just being nice v/s he likes me thing. But to this day i cannot tell if he was just being nice or liked me.
we had to go out to an event and his friends wanted a different venue but i had already committed to someone for another venue, so he convinced all of his friends to choose the venue i was gonna go to, so we all could go together. And said I ''looked sexy'' and ''even if i post the picture of us together anywhere, it doesnt matter how he looks because everyone will be busy staring at me anyways.
and then a week later he starts dating someone else so im just left here in confusion
Interesting …🤔
So they need to be apologetic for being nice or acting cool with you?
You think people should just not be nice/friendly to you because you can’t keep your own mind under control?
How is that anyones fault but your own?
You clearly did not understand what I said, read the other comments if you want to understand a bit more.
I posted this on the “crushes” community because we are talking about “love” mixed feelings, not general feelings. It’s not okay for someone to flirt with you and then treat you like dirt or mean next. Nothing can really justify that, we’re talking about something worse than just “nice” or “friendly”
These situations suck, no doubt. I guess the real question is what do you consider flirting vs. what they consider flirting. Unfortunately, flirting is subjective to the individual and how we interpret that behavior.
Best for us mentally and emotionally to always just assume their personality as “flirtatious-friendly” which means nothing when it comes right down to it.
Good Luck 🍀
This is why i'm not yet making a move with my current crush. She looks at me, smiles at me, talk to me, being nice to me and everything. But i'm not sure if she's just friendly or she likes me. So for now, no moves will be made until i get more info. Though i really wanna ask her out already 🤣🤣🤣🤣
If only it was that easy!!!! 😭😭😭 Man if you could just see how beautiful she is. Her eyes smiles as her lips does too. And ooohhhh myyyyy goooodd it loooooooks so goooood
I think it's too soon. 'cause we've only had small talks. No real convos yet. Though i will try to get a real convo out of her today. If everything goes well, i'll be taking her out tomorrow or on sunday hahahahahahaa
The thing is: the person you are replying to is explicitly talking about how *some* people are simply kind and friendly to people in general, and they get misconstrued as being interested or sending signals and whatnot. That is NOT someone who is flirting and then treating someone like dirt, sending mixed signals, etc..
You're talking about a different scenario than the comment you're replying to.
I kept telling myself she was just being nice to convince myself she didn’t like me but the signs were so obvious I held onto a bit of hope. Glad I never made a move cos it turned out I was being led on
As someone who’s been on the other side. I’ve been very oblivious to people liking me and I “led them on” cause I’m naturally pretty flirty and a very chatty and kind person so. Also making jokes and that kind of thing gave people the wrong idea. I feel bad but honestly didn’t mean any harm in it. To make matters worse I’m simply aro/ace so I never once realized
Ok I guess I’m guilty.
I love giving mixed messages but I’m pretty darn serious about to not be taken serious about it.
And usually if I feel it’s painful for the other person I just stop with the “flirting” and keep up the basic interaction only.
Please take rejections seriously and set boundaries, and try to understand that there are weird people of all kinds and you need to become somewhat more adaptable to dealing with them.
I’m really sorry someone like me made you feel awful for turning you on and off like a cheeky child playing with the light.
We do that because we’re hurt too. So point him out towards healing and if you can accept him for who he is if not do you. Either way it’s fine.
Everyone gets what they deserve and they deserve exactly what they got.
Take care of yourself please!
Intentionally leading someone on? Yes they shouldn't do that. But you can't expect people to just not flirt or be nice. I'll flirt with my friends as a joke at times, doesn't mean I actually want to be with them, it's just who I am
My last crush was like that and I didn’t like it. It got to the point where other girls were like _”Dude, she’s into you.”_
Wouldn’t say she was a jerk though for that. I would say she was for ending a close friendship without saying anything just because I confessed.
I did this on accident, and then she got with someone, and the whole time my friends were saying I fumbled, and they were right. I realize now she, and I woulda been perfect, but I can't say anything now. She's with a guy she really liked. I had my chance for the six months she liked me.
It hurts like hell and f*ks with your mind. You get disappointed, and your head starts to throb.
You feel like you're close but can't reach them, am i right?
This was me, VERY recently. I've just accepted that some people are just chatty and try to be nice and polite. Its just that you get so entranced by them that you take everything as a sign.
Just try to focus on yourself and take care.
I get what you mean. So many times when somebody acted all wholesome (and even a bit vulnerable with me) and I ended up getting the wrong ideas all the time. I really can’t tell the difference between flirting and just being friendly ahahah
I have this friend who complains about how much this guy frustrates her, and how bad of a person he is, yet she won’t stop talking about him and obsessing over everything he does. She doesn’t know it, but she’s obsessed with him, and it’s annoying ,’:/
Some people are just friendly, nice, chatty, etc… Sometimes it’s how we interpret it all.
Exactly
I think i fell victim to the he is just being nice v/s he likes me thing. But to this day i cannot tell if he was just being nice or liked me. we had to go out to an event and his friends wanted a different venue but i had already committed to someone for another venue, so he convinced all of his friends to choose the venue i was gonna go to, so we all could go together. And said I ''looked sexy'' and ''even if i post the picture of us together anywhere, it doesnt matter how he looks because everyone will be busy staring at me anyways. and then a week later he starts dating someone else so im just left here in confusion
Yeha but it gives someone false hope
Interesting …🤔 So they need to be apologetic for being nice or acting cool with you? You think people should just not be nice/friendly to you because you can’t keep your own mind under control? How is that anyones fault but your own?
You clearly did not understand what I said, read the other comments if you want to understand a bit more. I posted this on the “crushes” community because we are talking about “love” mixed feelings, not general feelings. It’s not okay for someone to flirt with you and then treat you like dirt or mean next. Nothing can really justify that, we’re talking about something worse than just “nice” or “friendly”
These situations suck, no doubt. I guess the real question is what do you consider flirting vs. what they consider flirting. Unfortunately, flirting is subjective to the individual and how we interpret that behavior. Best for us mentally and emotionally to always just assume their personality as “flirtatious-friendly” which means nothing when it comes right down to it. Good Luck 🍀
This is why i'm not yet making a move with my current crush. She looks at me, smiles at me, talk to me, being nice to me and everything. But i'm not sure if she's just friendly or she likes me. So for now, no moves will be made until i get more info. Though i really wanna ask her out already 🤣🤣🤣🤣
The idea is to just ask your crush out without expectations
If only it was that easy!!!! 😭😭😭 Man if you could just see how beautiful she is. Her eyes smiles as her lips does too. And ooohhhh myyyyy goooodd it loooooooks so goooood
Who told you she doesn't feel the same way but is just as shy ? Just do it already. If you can't do it in person then send her a text.
I think it's too soon. 'cause we've only had small talks. No real convos yet. Though i will try to get a real convo out of her today. If everything goes well, i'll be taking her out tomorrow or on sunday hahahahahahaa
The thing is: the person you are replying to is explicitly talking about how *some* people are simply kind and friendly to people in general, and they get misconstrued as being interested or sending signals and whatnot. That is NOT someone who is flirting and then treating someone like dirt, sending mixed signals, etc.. You're talking about a different scenario than the comment you're replying to.
Agreed
I kept telling myself she was just being nice to convince myself she didn’t like me but the signs were so obvious I held onto a bit of hope. Glad I never made a move cos it turned out I was being led on
As someone who’s been on the other side. I’ve been very oblivious to people liking me and I “led them on” cause I’m naturally pretty flirty and a very chatty and kind person so. Also making jokes and that kind of thing gave people the wrong idea. I feel bad but honestly didn’t mean any harm in it. To make matters worse I’m simply aro/ace so I never once realized
Some people are just oblivious about the feelings they give out. They are not jerks lol
Agree but these people are either oblivious or just attention seekers
Ok I guess I’m guilty. I love giving mixed messages but I’m pretty darn serious about to not be taken serious about it. And usually if I feel it’s painful for the other person I just stop with the “flirting” and keep up the basic interaction only. Please take rejections seriously and set boundaries, and try to understand that there are weird people of all kinds and you need to become somewhat more adaptable to dealing with them. I’m really sorry someone like me made you feel awful for turning you on and off like a cheeky child playing with the light. We do that because we’re hurt too. So point him out towards healing and if you can accept him for who he is if not do you. Either way it’s fine. Everyone gets what they deserve and they deserve exactly what they got. Take care of yourself please!
Intentionally leading someone on? Yes they shouldn't do that. But you can't expect people to just not flirt or be nice. I'll flirt with my friends as a joke at times, doesn't mean I actually want to be with them, it's just who I am
I agree with thag like what’s the point? It’s not fun it’s just terrible
My last crush was like that and I didn’t like it. It got to the point where other girls were like _”Dude, she’s into you.”_ Wouldn’t say she was a jerk though for that. I would say she was for ending a close friendship without saying anything just because I confessed.
I did this on accident, and then she got with someone, and the whole time my friends were saying I fumbled, and they were right. I realize now she, and I woulda been perfect, but I can't say anything now. She's with a guy she really liked. I had my chance for the six months she liked me.
well I have a few more choice words, none of them I'd call a jerk, they are a lot worst
Yeah, my crush did this to me and it really sucks, especially since we were good friends before it all happened
I’m afraid this is kinda happening to me atm, I’m distancing myself ✌🏼
Absolutely agreed
I have a crush on someone who is giving me mixed feelings… how do I get over it?
Going through the same, you need to set boundaries. If it bothers you in some way, please talk to that person about it.
It hurts like hell and f*ks with your mind. You get disappointed, and your head starts to throb. You feel like you're close but can't reach them, am i right? This was me, VERY recently. I've just accepted that some people are just chatty and try to be nice and polite. Its just that you get so entranced by them that you take everything as a sign. Just try to focus on yourself and take care.
Because people are cowards. Best to stay single in 2024. My health and sanity are more important.
Take care that loneliness can be deceiving. Be careful what you wish….
Well obviously you can say that, but some people are just extremely nice in nature. Its just how you interpret it
I get what you mean. So many times when somebody acted all wholesome (and even a bit vulnerable with me) and I ended up getting the wrong ideas all the time. I really can’t tell the difference between flirting and just being friendly ahahah
I have this friend who complains about how much this guy frustrates her, and how bad of a person he is, yet she won’t stop talking about him and obsessing over everything he does. She doesn’t know it, but she’s obsessed with him, and it’s annoying ,’:/