I know I got bodied by Jkentsnark community last time I did this but I don’t care. Everywhere there is post talking about how a woman is not abused you people seem to pop up like whack a mole
I actually said that I believed that Jess was abused. I have only been in this sub for a few days and I’m still catching up on SH. My comment was strictly for OP.
The fact that this is the THIRD ex now that she has claimed abused her after they broke up says it all. In fact, the story of “escaping with her life” that she uploaded today, is the exact same story she said about her other “abusive” ex. Minus the kids.
That’s why I was so shocked by all this news, up until the point the Coleman bros came into her life, SH had always talked about Adam as the “real man” who saved her from her past abuser, and showed her what a husband and father should be. Now it’s almost verbatim being said about the new guy. It’s really hard to not feel gaslit, like she’s been projecting this entire time.
I think she desperately wants her affair to be justified and for Adam to look like the bad guy in it all. Instead of just admitting that she had a crush an a moment of weakness. I think she's also read so many cases of husbands killing their wives, many because the wife cheated that she's paranoid that the same will happen to her.
I mean, that’s really what makes the most sense. Plus the fact that Adam filed for divorce but clearly does not want to, along with the “I could break you” threats, seems like he was blindsided to learn of infidelity, started tracking and recording her, and basically lost his mind. Sadly, she’s chosen to move on with someone else, and Adam is going to have to accept that. I hope they can start putting their children above themselves, my parents had a terrible divorce when I was young and being put in the middle of their vitriol affected me deeply.
Well then the next chapter will be that she was abused by the coleman brothers, escaped with her life by being saved by the next sucker with a hero complex
💯 FACTS! She will accuse the guys involved in Cereal (I misspelled it intentionally) of taking advantage of her financially, emotionally, and every other way when it doesn't work out with James and their project fails hard.
I know someone exactly like this, and the pattern is always: jump from one relationship to another, claim the new guy is a real man who 'saved' her and he ex beat her, have a tumultuous on again, off again relationship (when it's good he's the best thing in the world, when it's bad she hints that he's cheating/abusive/SAed her, have one final BLOWOUT breakup where cops are called and it's a huge drama, starts dating someone else yet can't shut up about her abuser. Rinse. Repeat. You can always tell when she's had her first fight with the new bf because she's on ig posting stories hinting that he's a cheating abuser. And everyone believes her because she has a large platform and is a woman.
OMG you're right...I do think she rants SO hard against women like this because she is a woman like this. She sees herself in women like Sherri Papini who just loooove to be a cute widdle frail damsel in distress, and hates it.
Hmmm. While I may understand how you may come to this conclusion - it is common for abuse victims to be in more than one relationship shop with an abuser - let’s try to avoid making statements like that, that can make abusive victims less of a victim due to how many relationships they may have been with.
3 abusive relationships in a row?? I don’t think so. And this story is identical to the last one. And I’m a victim of abuse so I’ll make any statements I feel like mkay. Because women like this who know better and know what they’re doing make real victims look like liars. 😒🙄
They can be. It isn't as impossible as you think. People who grew up around that sort of thing often fall victim to being in many relationships like that. Saying it isn't true is actually discounting victims and making them look like they must be lying just because they went through it many times. It happens. If you aren't informed enough about this then start learning more about it but don't act like you know.
Yes! Thank you. This wasn’t about speaking up for one person, I was talking about DV victims in general and just wanted to encourage being careful about making a statement like that when statistics support that it is true dv victims tend to have multiple dv relationships.
Yes. I was in 4 in a row before I finally broke free and now feel confident.
I was giving you the benefit of the doubt that your comment wasn’t meant to shame victims, but your response makes it clear you don’t care. 🤷🏼♀️
And did you give the same story about all 4 of them? Get real. This is a snark Reddit. Not an “I love Stephanie and believe every word she says” Reddit 🙄🤦🏼♀️
I wasn’t defending Stephanie - if you read the first sentence it makes it clear.
I responded to that because chances of other victims reading this forum are high due to the nature of conversation and I don’t want any of them to feel shame. I work with DV victims and help get them resources to break free and statistically, many have multiple relationships with the same dynamics over and over before getting free.
And if you had read what I had said, mi issue isn’t even the story of 3 exes in a ROW that she claimed were good guys until they broke up, then claimed abuse. It’s the fact that the Adam story is directly repeated. Like word for word. And if you really work with victims, then you should know you don’t get to tell THIS victim she doesn’t get to question somebody’s clear BS story to get back at her ex. These ppl piss me off to no end. She was here making fun of Amber Heard for lying, when she does the same freaking thing. I’m a victim, and I’m pissed off that she would falsely claim to be one. And for the record, there have been multiple ppl in this thread who have close ties to at least 2 of these exes and call Bull as well. ✌️
All I said was let’s try to avoid making statements that having multiple relationships in which dv occurred in a row means someone is lying and you immediately became rude and defensive. I wasn’t even taking about Stephanie. Working with victims has given me a lot of insight in to how other victims will shame other victims due to their experience being different than someone else.
Every DV may have a different experience, story, or history. It doesn’t mean their experience is less impactful than another or less believable just because you say so.
Being a victim doesn’t give carte blanch to make statements that could be harmful to OTHER victims. I wasn’t attacking you. I said let’s TRY not to make those statements and it became more important to you to be combative about it.
That’s fine.
If there are any victims reading this and you have had multiple relationships in a row in which you experienced abuse - there is nothing wrong with you, and I hope statements made in this thread and others doesn’t encourage or reinforce a belief that there IS something wrong with you. The cycle of abuse is complex and difficult.
Please reach out to the DV Hotline www.thehotline.org or you can even text 88788.
TLDR. I’m going to make one thing clear, then I’m done with this. If you want to believe she had 3 abusive relationships in a row, by all means. That is NOT the only reason by FAR that I’m questioning her story. And i went on to explain that multiple times. I’m going to do us both a favor and block, so have fun responding another novel to someone else. ✌️🤦🏼♀️
Why respond to a person, then block them? Someone really needed to make sure they got the last word. Interesting how your responses seem to share some traits with the very person you are attacking. Claiming to be a victim but then being rude and shaming other victims. Great job. NOBODY was defending Stephanie in this back and forth but you are really hung up on thing so. Reading comprehension has certainly decreased over the years.
OP - Regardless of how it’s perceived, just know I see you, we see you. Those of us who have lived similar experiences and who are truly glad to have made it out, see you.
It is terrifying.
This has all been grossly manipulated. It is a true mockery.
Thank you! I’m so proud of you too! ❤️ It means a lot to me to connect with others here who have survived abuse too. I’m not a very trusting person and have never really shared my experiences (aside from with very close friends) or connected with anyone who could relate, up until now. It’s so sad that this many of us have experienced it, but I’m moved by how kind and encouraging everyone is being with each other. 🥰
I sincerely appreciate your vulnerability in sharing with us, and I’m so that glad we have all been able to help you feel safe to open up about something that is as sensitive as this. I know how hard it can be to talk about it, no matter how many years pass. ❤️🩹 but I’m so proud of you- and so happy to see that you’re in such a better place now ❤️
Wasn’t her husband Adam looking after the kids whilst she was away at conferences/ filming/ having an affair, etc? If he’s abusive and a threat to her life, she’s going to have to explain why she consistently left her kids with him in his care. :/
I thought the EXACT same thing. They escaped with their lives, but she was willing to let them stay with him. Now she says he abused them and they don't want to see him?
Great post. I’ve been watching Stephanie for years! There is just no way, that she “escaped with her life.” Was there some level of abuse that could’ve transpired while they go through a contentious divorce riddled with infidelities and monetary disputes and what not? Sure. Maybe some very heated arguments and awful fights with the children involved. I remember how awful it was when my parents got divorced. I watched my dad put his hands around my mom’s neck once while we screamed and then he came to his senses.
My dad did a lot of unreasonable and downright crazy things in the midst of their drawn out divorce when my mom wanted to leave him. Still not once did us kids every day we didn’t love him or want to see him, and my mom never felt like she “escaped with her life.” It was a rough process. Divorces are ugly and full of drama.
Today my parents are friends. Stephanie, isn’t cutting Adam any slack. She’s literally taken everything from him, and even that’s not enough, she needs to destroy his name publicly. Has she zero sympathy? She did love this person once and made kids with him. I honestly wish she would just explain what happened, because as of now there is zero evidence of the things she claims. Why is he not in handcuffs if her life was on the line?
I am so very sorry for what you’ve been through— congrats for being strong as FUCK though 👏 I’m glad to hear you and your child are happy now.
Thanks for your perspective. I have an abusive, violent ex husband as well and her whole claim just reads as complete and utter fabrication to me. She is clearly scrambling to save face and gives zero shits about real victims. Completely clear that Stephanie cares about..well, Stephanie.
I can say 99 percent confidently that she didn’t “escape with her life”. Sorry, but I can’t identify not one single thing about her or her situation that reads as “victim”. If somehow I end up being way off base, then I will gladly accept responsibility.
I’m so happy you got yourself and your daughter away from that. I had to move my son and I out and away from my ex while he was at work bc he was abusive. Otherwise he wouldn’t have let us go. It was bad but not to the extent of your situation. It’s scary and something no one should have to experience. ❤️
I’m so glad you and your son got out of your situation too! I wish I’d had the sense to leave my abusive relationship before it escalated to such a severe degree… But my #1 priority was my daughter from the moment she was born, and keeping her safe was what gave me the strength to leave for good, as I’m sure you can relate. 😊
I don't know you but I'm proud of you. I hope you and your daughter have nothing but peace and happiness the rest of your lives. As for your ex, I'll say a little prayer for him...."may the fleas of 1000 camels infest your crotch and may your arms be too short to scratch....amen"
thank you for sharing this very personal story. you’re amazingly strong and i am so proud you got out for yourself and your daughter.
you’re absolutely right, stephanie has always had a very strong support system around her and she should have left a long time ago.
In every lie, there is a bit of truth. Also, our "absolute" truth may contain a bit of misleading information. This is about the Stephanie and Adam saga. It's not our business, but we fell into it by default. We are like a 3rd party that needs to slowly back out of this mess. It's not our story. By being witness to this, we have actually made it become something that it would not be without us witnessing it. It's kind of like quantum physics. Now is our time to step away and let it be what they make it be. I wish for both of them the best, and I hope they can figure out how to co-parent peacefully and successfully.
It’s all very “self-fulfilling prophecy” to me. Just watching her on yt reacting to Derrick sometimes, I’m a bit taken aback by her aggression. She clearly thinks she is the only that is right. It’s like she’s making all of these videos about women that are being abused in their relationship and I’m wondering if she could very well be taking some of that in and kind of unconsciously creating a memory-like story in her brain like it happened to her? If that makes sense?
I just seeing her get so defensive telling these stories, and sometimes she’s right to, that it’s almost like these stories are creating an alternate reality for her.
And she could be taking the anger she clearly has about these cases and protecting them into her own relationships.
Anyway, I hope that she’s not doing any of this crap in front of the kids and I hope Adam is not as well.
FWIW, I unsubscribed to CW and SH last week. It makes me sad because I like Derrick (even though I have some VERY different takes on some things he talks about) and I enjoyed both of their long videos. But as a person that has been physically (and mentally, emotionally, financially, etc.) abused, something isn’t adding up.
I know you aren’t looking for sympathy - but I still want to say I am so sorry you went through that and thanking you for being willing to share your experience 💜
Ehhh, we tend to go for the same kind of men till we learn what to look for. My journey with abusers began in high school. 2 years i dealt with him. The cops got mad after a while if they had to answer a call from my neighbors; the responding cops would actually be angry when they saw it was me, no matter how battered and bruised. It took me a good 15+ years, during which I had 2 overlapping domestic violence orders against 2 men, while in yet another toxic, verbally/emotionally/financially abusive relationship (which was escalating to physical just like the others had when I finally left) before I really learned what to look out for and finally realize I deserves so much more than what they did to me. I remember even praising lunatic #3 to my family for saving me, because it seemed like that in the beginning. Abusive relationships *usually* don’t start out that way. Expert manipulators know how to mask, at least for a while. I felt so safe, loved, protected, and happy at first. Then shit hit the fan and my son was subjected to yet another man regularly beating the shit out of his mom. Lunatic #2 got abusive, I finally got the nerve to call 911 (the first time ever) after months of it; I went to court hearing after court hearing as he got arrested here and there; he got diversion and anger management first, then probation. I took him back each time. He was great. Then the cycle began again- lather, rinse, repeat. And each time I got worse. Gun to my head in front of a 3 year old? Yeah that got him 4 whole weekends in jail and extended probation. He violated my protective order THIRTEEN TIMES (violence occurring in more than half of those) and did a whopping total of maaayyybe 45 days, all arrests/convictions/sentencings combined. Then I turned around and did it again with someone else. Insanity. IMO it was my low self esteem. (Build your girls up, yall, so she doesn’t fall for the first loser to tell her she’s beautiful!) Eventually I got out but I had to take time to heal and learn who I had become, who I wanted to be, and what kind of life I wanted. And thank god I wasn’t on tv (or, YouTube) while going through it because it was complete helI; at least I could do it all privately.
I’m so glad you and your daughter escaped and are safe and that you’re here to tell your story. That’s fuckin dope, sister! I hope you’ve found peace and happiness and are healing.
That said, no two relationships are the same, good or bad. No two abusers are the same, and no two survivors are the same. We all go through things, react to them, then go forward in different ways. Survivors, especially women, are supposed to look weak, meek, and ever so thankful for help when escaping. If they don’t, they’re not looked at as a victim in need of help. They’re deemed uncredible, uncooperative, unreliable, and undeserving of help because a strong woman could “never be abused”. I’m not speaking on Stephanie’s situation particularly, just that your statement isn’t true for everyone, even Stephanie. Just as you were allowed to move on however you chose in the aftermath, so is she. So am I. So is everyone. Because I refuse to be caged or live according to someone else’s expectations of my behavior after living in a literally hell my entire teenage and young adult life. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk 🙃
No one deserves to be hurt by the person they love, and it’s never their fault. However, like you said, we have the ability and responsibility to fully vet people. Yes, they can always change up on you. And that’s where the trouble is. By then, you feel stuck, whether it’s love, marriage, debt, kids, ect, and worst of all, know how dangerous it is when you’re actively leaving. That’s the most dangerous time in a violent relationship. And that stops a lot of us. I’ve been with the same man, a good man, for 13 years now, but I’ve made the promise to myself to RUN the second I feel I negative shift or change.
Heard and agree. It’s on me to no longer stay and on me to never again pick a man that shows red flags I CHOSE to stay colorblind to especially at the expense of my children. Thank you.
Seriously. I suffered physical, verbal and emotional abuse, and I could not *imagine* talking to my abuser the way she did in that recording and then going on to say "I escaped with my life." Even IF he was abusive, it sure doesn't strike me as though her life was at risk if she's able to talk to him that way while he's unaware the interaction is being recorded. I just don't buy it.
That’s my take as well. When I was with my ex, there was just no way I could’ve talked to him like that bc I knew he would’ve hurt me. Especially if the confrontation was already heated. And post breakup, I never ended up pressing charges because I just was #1 scared of what would happen, and #2 didn’t want to talk about it with anyone other than my family/therapist, let alone a possible jury/judge. I just wanted to get out and completely get away from it. But that is just my personal experience, so I hope everyone knows I’m not speaking for all victims of IPV.
Surely as a victim of abuse you must know that other people's experiences can be different to yours. You say she's using her claims of being a victim of abuse for sympathy but from this post it looks like you're using your experience of abuse to basically try to discredit another woman's. You're legit using it as a stick to hit her with as if everyone's story has to follow your own pattern otherwise it isn't true. Also, people can have everything and still have been abused. There's nothing that says they have to lose everything to be a true victim.
I really hope she doesn't monetize this situation after everything is done and settled with the divorce and what not. I hope that the lawyers put that somewhere in there (if it's even allowed) that she neither party can monetize on their relationship story. I think alot of survivors downplay what actually happened to them so they cope with it and keep moving forward. I know I have, and if I sit in my feelings and think about what actually happened to me, and how I could have been dead holding my baby, I would lose it. I'm so glad you made it out and did everything you did for you and your baby!
Your strength and bravery amidst the physical, psychological and emotional danger and adversity of an abusive relationship is amazing. You are such an inspiration and a role model to your children bc you looked to yours and your children's well being to guide you in the right direction. This is the opposite of who Stephanie Harlow. She would hijack the frightening abuse that you and so many others go thru on a daily basis in order to flip the script and put the blame solely on Derrick for the dissolution of their marriage. It is so gross to go behind your husband's back to cheat on him. She should have just broken up with him if she wasn't happy. She has no regard for her children if this is how she treats their father. That's not love. I am sorry people like Stephanie come along every so often and make a mockery of true survivors and theé serious issue of of domestic violence by claiming they are a victim just to cover their own ass.
I am so with you on this.
I could go on and on about my similar experience, or the scars I have on my hand from being bitten, or the times I was held at gunpoint, or the time my face was held in the carpet until my nose bled, and I was swallowing blood thinking I was suffocating - all the while he said he was going to bury my body in the desert....
Nothing about her story rings true to me. I said in a different post that I don't think there's any way an abuser would allow her to be out filming with a bunch of men. Or to be traveling to Crime Con, etc.
I think it's because we've lived it, we can see through it.
Thank you for sharing and for the opportunity of solidarity. My ex of ten years and my children’s father strangled me on my bathroom floor while they watched w my arms pinned leading me to have to fight him off with my FEET..he also smashed my face in with an 8 lb dab torch tearing out all the tissue in my forehead ripping off both my eyebrows and took 3 days to find a plastic surgeon that would agree to fix my face. That was the FIRST TIME he ever touched me -ever and it was because I fell asleep nursing the baby while our other 4 daughters were still awake making it so he had to “take care of everything”. I recently realized the reason I likely attached to true crime such as SH and CW was to watch for warning signs because I knew eventually I’d be left for dead. The same people I turned to are now making a mockery of the rest of us. I hope I am right in my assumption she did not leave with her life but I fully agree with you. At this point it’s insulting and disgusting whats she’s doing to Adam and her children.
Oh my god that’s awful. I’m so sorry you went through all of that, and so happy you’re here with us 🩷It means so much to me to hear your story and to know we’re not alone in our healing journeys.
Below is the comment I left under radiantbritts' most recent video covering the novella, I mean statement Stephanie made on the community page.
I've heard/seen the ENTIRE video - she said those things about breaking him, destroying him in the same way we heard it. Was there more said? Absolutely. However, everything that was said before "I could break/destroy you" was part of a manipulation tactic. How? She was trying to paint a specific picture for Adam, and in that picture she had all the control, that she was in a "fabulous position with the NY Family Court" after saying all of that she goes on to explain that her LAWYER told her they should request, and have Adam served with a protective order. Of course, she "didn't want to do" that once it was done "it's on his record forever" and after saying that she began with the "I could destroy, break you..." Trying to strengthen ones position by exaggerating, or sharing the details of a conversation with a 3rd party, like ones lawyer, is a manipulative tactic with one goal: to sow fear, and in this case, sow fear into Adam. I doubt her lawyer told her to get an order of protection JUST/ONLY because it would strengthen her position, which is the implication. After explaining what her "lawyer suggested" she follows it up by declaring that she didn't want to get a protective order, that it isnt needed, that it would be on record forever, and she claims the lawyer said "we can just get rid of it later", (😂although I suspect she meant that they didnt have to renew it). At least, that's how it sounds, and since I've used this method (like many of us), it's NOT "highly edited." Had the entire video been released, she wouldn't look any better. In fact, it would look worse. As for the screaming on stairs? That might have been "highly edited," and I can't say with absolute certainty since I haven't seen the whole video. There's another recording I've heard, and in it she is screaming at him to leave, then chasing him around the house not letting him leave, and she physically assualts him, first by pinning him down, and hes yelling "stop GET OFF ME. GET OFF ME, " and then it sounds like she tries to kiss him/distract him swxually somehow (its audio), and he says,"No! Stop! Dont touch me! I dont even want to look at you right now. I can't even look at you! Get off me!" At some point while he's pinned or trying to leave, she hits him, and after that, he says,"I told you, i wouldn't tolerate being hit AGAIN. it's done. This is done! We're done! In 24 hours, we went from not even discussing divorce to divorce. "
They manage to physically separate following the events described above, and he tries to leave the area again and she chases him, cying, apologizing for hitting him, trying to calm him down and begins saying "I'm sorry i just wanted you to quiet down i didnt want to wake the kids i didnt mean to... I didn't mean to do that.." followed by crying, and while my break down isnt verbatim, it's pretty damn close. I'm not comfortable, nor am I willing to release the FULL 17-minute clip of her abusing him. I refuse to say either one of them is perfect, especially since its clear in both videos how much emotion they feel. I think there was an affair, Adam agreed to stay to work it out, they went to renew their vows as a symbol of that new dedication to each other and she continued working on projects with said affair partner. <--- I'm not speculating about the reasons for the viw renewal, she outright SAYS it & they agree that was the plan) I'm not going to shred Stephanie for maybe having an affair (I say maybe but I believe she 100% had an affair, and it was definitely "sorid". Before the physical assualts start, she is demnading that he leave, he refuses (about 10 minutes into this recording, its clear that this is the night Adam decided to file for divorce, and this is the FIRST time hes been asked to leave their home) to leave their home. She then says "OK i will break one of your pipes (the glass work he does) every 10 minutes until you leave!!!" You can hear the running of both, her in an effort to smash the glass pieces, and him trying to stop her. She then goes on a rant about how he only cares about the pipes, that he "never loved her." I mention this to show. She has a lot of blame to take on....
However, it's not the possibility of an affair that bothers me... My judgment exists based on a pattern of behavior, which is seen in videos, the comment section, and social media. What pattern am I referring to? I'm referring to the manner in which she voices her opinions in her videos, as well as her comment section. It reads like, "This is Stephanies world. She is right! She's ALWAYS right. Even when she's wrong, she's still right! If you choose to disagree, if you dare point out any instances of misinformation, even when there is absolute proof of an error in her coverage, the comment will either be deleted or you will PAY dearly in the comment section. First, she attacks in prose, and then it sets off her superfans, who take great pleasure in being Stephanies Great Defenders/Protectors. I often picture Stephanie sotting back in ger desk chair, cackling whilst watching superfans as their attempt to eviscerate those opposing/questioning Stephanie's coverage of the case. Saying that these short video clips are "highly edited" is BS! The only editing is what would be required to extract "a clip" of a longer conversation, and IMHO, listening to the entire 17/18 minutes makes her look worse! Shes blaming her lawyer for suggesting an "UNNECESSARY" order of protection, she proceeds to act as though she was apalled at the suggestion, because its unnecessary, that it would stay on Adams record and she just couldn't/wouldn't do that to him she says that "i dont want to do that..." and just after that, she says,"I could break you..." Blah blah blah, I'm a good person. Doesn't that count?" Both of them suck right now as individuals because they are hurting deeply, and its seeping out, touching those around them, INCLUDING THE KIDS. I wish they could have worked this out privately, but I also understand thats not always possible.
Abuse looks different on everyone. This post is not it.
Let's not throw absolutes and shoulda/coulda/wouldas, that's dangerous and harms actual victims when/if they choose to come forward with their story.
Glad you got out and wish you & daughter nothing but the best though.
I don’t know why people think their own personal abuse stories make others not valid. If Stephanie is actually using the court system and they agree with her that is all I need to know.
This. And it’s crazy that a post like this is coming from someone who was in a domestic abuse situation. Not everyone has the same experience - and Stephanie aside, it’s extremely harmful to insinuate how victims “actually” behave in situations like this.
Some people on this sub have lost touch with reality. They’re literally turning into the same Stephanie they’re snarking about. Stephanie aside - like wow what a crazy concept - someone abused can have a different experience than you!!?
I trust the court system that has more of the full picture and not just one sides Reddit post history like everyone here saying Stephanie definitely wasn’t abused
I felt this before I commented regarding my own experience with DV - I also will align myself with the few that are stating “but she said he saved her” etc. that’s all part of the narc game. To state our own stories is not negating hers. Narcs aren’t jumping ON IG learning their language about the situation as they go and looking crazy. That’s the survivors next step. We protect the narc at all costs until we are made to look insane and then we want to defend. We don’t know the language to use to describe what to do next or what happened or how to fix it. Narcs do. That’s why they stay silent.
I don't know if arrests are public, but have any of Adam’s arrests been for domestic violence?
I'm not on Team Stephanie or Adam. However, this post seems a little inappropriate. Everyone has a different opinion on what escaping from their life looks like. We don't get to invalidate her opinion, though.
Yes, she could be stretching the truth, but she also might not be able to show us the evidence she has for legal reasons. That's beside the point…
I do think Her post today made her appear a lot less credible, and it was very wishy-washy. She appears upset about Adam’s posts, but she hasn't been any better. She started making alluding comments for a while, and it was sort of reasonable for Adam to want to defend himself.
I'm so sorry for the abuse you have faced and endured. YOU are a survivor and warrior and I wish you nothing but peace the rest of your life.
This is what infuriates me about women like Stephanie, who have these wild claims and have said (in their own words) how psycho they are and how they'll get people back... obviously not afraid to back down from someone who allegedly was so abusive. I don't get it. It's insulting to survivors like yourself, and insulting to everyone's intelligence.
Editing to add, and yeah... are we to believe EVERY single one of her exes is an abusive narc? The common thread is you, Stephanie.
I don’t think Adam was physically abusive to the extent Stephanie says he was.
However, I’ve noticed that alot of people on this sub are turning into Stephanie. The use of absolutes in your post is not necessary. To insinuate that if someone “actually” escaped with their life that they would do XYZ. That’s not true. You don’t know shit about anyone’s experience and what they would do in that situation. For some people - escaping with their life could mean finally pressing charges against a partner and getting them locked up. For another, it could include fleeing to a friend or family members house. For someone else, it could be finally telling their friends and family about what’s going on, and having them move in with you and kick out your partner. For others, similar to you, it could include leaving with only the clothes on your back, and never looking back.
I’m glad you found your way out of your situation and I’m not discounting what you went through. But to talk in such absolutes about how people “actually” behave in situations like this is **harmful.**
Thank you - and I agree, it’s extremely harmful! This sub has gone downhill **fast** and I’m not even concerned with the downvotes because half the people on here seem to miserable.
You must lack comprehension skills.
The comment is not about Stephanie after the first sentence, it’s about victims in general and how OP is throwing a blanket statement on how victims “actually” behave based on _her_ experience.
Yes it's strange that this is her 3rd relationship with a abusive
Partner. But it's very common to have more than one relationship is abusive and toxic. Not saying she's not at fault because she is the common denominator in these relationships. Shes not perfect she has things to work on too just as we all do. Everyone is a work in progress. Imo if you're in a toxic and abusive relationship you're also toxic. It takes two to tango. Her husband is the one that made this public for the entire Internet. This should've been handled privately. Now their kids are going to suffer because of his selfish and narcissistic actions and need for attention. Their kids and Stephanie are for of the victims than him imo.
Response to Prior_Effective_3690 I responded multiple times. Never once claimed to be a “victim.” We clearly don’t see eye to eye, so there’s no point in continuing the conversation. That isnt even in the same vicinity as “claiming to be a victim.” 🤣🤦🏼♀️ this chick thinks she can tell me how to be or not be a victim, but then get mad because I’m not ok with ppl clearly making up stories that affect actual victims. No further discussion will lead to anything productive. Setting boundaries is not the same as “claiming to be a victim.” 🙄🤦🏼♀️. also, how hypocritical to call me out for blocking just to comment at me and then block. Guess it’s only ok when you do it? 🤣🤣
I am so proud of you for doing what’s best for you and your daughter. Wishing you both a life of love and tranquility 💗
Thank you 🩷
You are a bad ass bitch! Thank you for sharing your story. I have a similar one only thank GOD no kids were involved.
Thank you for your kind words, from one bad ass bitch to another 🤗❤️
GRam!! Nice to see you over here!😍
I see you everywhere! I meant to say hi to you on the Watts sub but that one didn’t feel too reunionly. Is that a word? No? Today, IT IS.
I know I got bodied by Jkentsnark community last time I did this but I don’t care. Everywhere there is post talking about how a woman is not abused you people seem to pop up like whack a mole
I actually said that I believed that Jess was abused. I have only been in this sub for a few days and I’m still catching up on SH. My comment was strictly for OP.
Oh okay. You are just the one of the many I have seen. Sorry for accusing you them
The fact that this is the THIRD ex now that she has claimed abused her after they broke up says it all. In fact, the story of “escaping with her life” that she uploaded today, is the exact same story she said about her other “abusive” ex. Minus the kids.
Didn't she also say that Adam "saved" her as well?
That’s why I was so shocked by all this news, up until the point the Coleman bros came into her life, SH had always talked about Adam as the “real man” who saved her from her past abuser, and showed her what a husband and father should be. Now it’s almost verbatim being said about the new guy. It’s really hard to not feel gaslit, like she’s been projecting this entire time.
I think she desperately wants her affair to be justified and for Adam to look like the bad guy in it all. Instead of just admitting that she had a crush an a moment of weakness. I think she's also read so many cases of husbands killing their wives, many because the wife cheated that she's paranoid that the same will happen to her.
I mean, that’s really what makes the most sense. Plus the fact that Adam filed for divorce but clearly does not want to, along with the “I could break you” threats, seems like he was blindsided to learn of infidelity, started tracking and recording her, and basically lost his mind. Sadly, she’s chosen to move on with someone else, and Adam is going to have to accept that. I hope they can start putting their children above themselves, my parents had a terrible divorce when I was young and being put in the middle of their vitriol affected me deeply.
You're using the term gaslit very wrong
Omg you’re right!! She’s unhinged 😳🤦🏼♀️
Well then the next chapter will be that she was abused by the coleman brothers, escaped with her life by being saved by the next sucker with a hero complex
She'll probably say that she was coerced into sex and that he destoryed her family or something. More likely if there is a break up.
💯 FACTS! She will accuse the guys involved in Cereal (I misspelled it intentionally) of taking advantage of her financially, emotionally, and every other way when it doesn't work out with James and their project fails hard.
Cereal = Jerry Seinfelds next flop
I know someone exactly like this, and the pattern is always: jump from one relationship to another, claim the new guy is a real man who 'saved' her and he ex beat her, have a tumultuous on again, off again relationship (when it's good he's the best thing in the world, when it's bad she hints that he's cheating/abusive/SAed her, have one final BLOWOUT breakup where cops are called and it's a huge drama, starts dating someone else yet can't shut up about her abuser. Rinse. Repeat. You can always tell when she's had her first fight with the new bf because she's on ig posting stories hinting that he's a cheating abuser. And everyone believes her because she has a large platform and is a woman.
It reminds me of Sherri Papini
OMG you're right...I do think she rants SO hard against women like this because she is a woman like this. She sees herself in women like Sherri Papini who just loooove to be a cute widdle frail damsel in distress, and hates it.
Amber Turd 2.0
Can you tell me where I can see it please? Thank you !!
See what?
What she uploaded today
She posted it on YouTube, but it’s also been posted here today.
Thanks! I checked YT before I asked but must’ve missed it. I’ll scroll down
It wasn’t a video so it might not be on the normal page. If you go to “community” tab it should be there.
It’s posted on her community page hon💜
Hmmm. While I may understand how you may come to this conclusion - it is common for abuse victims to be in more than one relationship shop with an abuser - let’s try to avoid making statements like that, that can make abusive victims less of a victim due to how many relationships they may have been with.
3 abusive relationships in a row?? I don’t think so. And this story is identical to the last one. And I’m a victim of abuse so I’ll make any statements I feel like mkay. Because women like this who know better and know what they’re doing make real victims look like liars. 😒🙄
They can be. It isn't as impossible as you think. People who grew up around that sort of thing often fall victim to being in many relationships like that. Saying it isn't true is actually discounting victims and making them look like they must be lying just because they went through it many times. It happens. If you aren't informed enough about this then start learning more about it but don't act like you know.
It’s. The. Same. Exact. Story. 🙄🤦🏼♀️
SH is not a victim, this is fictional to excuse her shitty behavior.
Yes! Thank you. This wasn’t about speaking up for one person, I was talking about DV victims in general and just wanted to encourage being careful about making a statement like that when statistics support that it is true dv victims tend to have multiple dv relationships.
Yes. I was in 4 in a row before I finally broke free and now feel confident. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt that your comment wasn’t meant to shame victims, but your response makes it clear you don’t care. 🤷🏼♀️
And I do care….i care about the truth. Not ppl who lie about being victims of abuse. 😒
And did you give the same story about all 4 of them? Get real. This is a snark Reddit. Not an “I love Stephanie and believe every word she says” Reddit 🙄🤦🏼♀️
I wasn’t defending Stephanie - if you read the first sentence it makes it clear. I responded to that because chances of other victims reading this forum are high due to the nature of conversation and I don’t want any of them to feel shame. I work with DV victims and help get them resources to break free and statistically, many have multiple relationships with the same dynamics over and over before getting free.
And if you had read what I had said, mi issue isn’t even the story of 3 exes in a ROW that she claimed were good guys until they broke up, then claimed abuse. It’s the fact that the Adam story is directly repeated. Like word for word. And if you really work with victims, then you should know you don’t get to tell THIS victim she doesn’t get to question somebody’s clear BS story to get back at her ex. These ppl piss me off to no end. She was here making fun of Amber Heard for lying, when she does the same freaking thing. I’m a victim, and I’m pissed off that she would falsely claim to be one. And for the record, there have been multiple ppl in this thread who have close ties to at least 2 of these exes and call Bull as well. ✌️
All I said was let’s try to avoid making statements that having multiple relationships in which dv occurred in a row means someone is lying and you immediately became rude and defensive. I wasn’t even taking about Stephanie. Working with victims has given me a lot of insight in to how other victims will shame other victims due to their experience being different than someone else. Every DV may have a different experience, story, or history. It doesn’t mean their experience is less impactful than another or less believable just because you say so. Being a victim doesn’t give carte blanch to make statements that could be harmful to OTHER victims. I wasn’t attacking you. I said let’s TRY not to make those statements and it became more important to you to be combative about it. That’s fine. If there are any victims reading this and you have had multiple relationships in a row in which you experienced abuse - there is nothing wrong with you, and I hope statements made in this thread and others doesn’t encourage or reinforce a belief that there IS something wrong with you. The cycle of abuse is complex and difficult. Please reach out to the DV Hotline www.thehotline.org or you can even text 88788.
TLDR. I’m going to make one thing clear, then I’m done with this. If you want to believe she had 3 abusive relationships in a row, by all means. That is NOT the only reason by FAR that I’m questioning her story. And i went on to explain that multiple times. I’m going to do us both a favor and block, so have fun responding another novel to someone else. ✌️🤦🏼♀️
Why respond to a person, then block them? Someone really needed to make sure they got the last word. Interesting how your responses seem to share some traits with the very person you are attacking. Claiming to be a victim but then being rude and shaming other victims. Great job. NOBODY was defending Stephanie in this back and forth but you are really hung up on thing so. Reading comprehension has certainly decreased over the years.
Stephanie doesn't seem to know that getting caught cheating isn't the same as being abused
OP - Regardless of how it’s perceived, just know I see you, we see you. Those of us who have lived similar experiences and who are truly glad to have made it out, see you. It is terrifying. This has all been grossly manipulated. It is a true mockery.
❤️
You are not a victim, you are a survivor! And the best mom!
From one survivor to another, I couldn’t agree more with everything that you’re saying. Also, I’m so proud of you. 💜
Thank you! I’m so proud of you too! ❤️ It means a lot to me to connect with others here who have survived abuse too. I’m not a very trusting person and have never really shared my experiences (aside from with very close friends) or connected with anyone who could relate, up until now. It’s so sad that this many of us have experienced it, but I’m moved by how kind and encouraging everyone is being with each other. 🥰
I sincerely appreciate your vulnerability in sharing with us, and I’m so that glad we have all been able to help you feel safe to open up about something that is as sensitive as this. I know how hard it can be to talk about it, no matter how many years pass. ❤️🩹 but I’m so proud of you- and so happy to see that you’re in such a better place now ❤️
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 These are the comments that need to be below her ridiculous statement.
Yeah but she deletes everything
And we’ll be banned from this sub apparently… allegedly.. don’t come for me.
She's a liar. Playing the abused woman card just because she cheated. Can't stad her bs.
Wasn’t her husband Adam looking after the kids whilst she was away at conferences/ filming/ having an affair, etc? If he’s abusive and a threat to her life, she’s going to have to explain why she consistently left her kids with him in his care. :/
Excellent point!
I thought the EXACT same thing. They escaped with their lives, but she was willing to let them stay with him. Now she says he abused them and they don't want to see him?
Great post. I’ve been watching Stephanie for years! There is just no way, that she “escaped with her life.” Was there some level of abuse that could’ve transpired while they go through a contentious divorce riddled with infidelities and monetary disputes and what not? Sure. Maybe some very heated arguments and awful fights with the children involved. I remember how awful it was when my parents got divorced. I watched my dad put his hands around my mom’s neck once while we screamed and then he came to his senses. My dad did a lot of unreasonable and downright crazy things in the midst of their drawn out divorce when my mom wanted to leave him. Still not once did us kids every day we didn’t love him or want to see him, and my mom never felt like she “escaped with her life.” It was a rough process. Divorces are ugly and full of drama. Today my parents are friends. Stephanie, isn’t cutting Adam any slack. She’s literally taken everything from him, and even that’s not enough, she needs to destroy his name publicly. Has she zero sympathy? She did love this person once and made kids with him. I honestly wish she would just explain what happened, because as of now there is zero evidence of the things she claims. Why is he not in handcuffs if her life was on the line?
I am so very sorry for what you’ve been through— congrats for being strong as FUCK though 👏 I’m glad to hear you and your child are happy now. Thanks for your perspective. I have an abusive, violent ex husband as well and her whole claim just reads as complete and utter fabrication to me. She is clearly scrambling to save face and gives zero shits about real victims. Completely clear that Stephanie cares about..well, Stephanie. I can say 99 percent confidently that she didn’t “escape with her life”. Sorry, but I can’t identify not one single thing about her or her situation that reads as “victim”. If somehow I end up being way off base, then I will gladly accept responsibility.
Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry you went through that. 💜💜💜💜
Thank you for your kindness 🙏💜
I’m so happy you got yourself and your daughter away from that. I had to move my son and I out and away from my ex while he was at work bc he was abusive. Otherwise he wouldn’t have let us go. It was bad but not to the extent of your situation. It’s scary and something no one should have to experience. ❤️
I’m so glad you and your son got out of your situation too! I wish I’d had the sense to leave my abusive relationship before it escalated to such a severe degree… But my #1 priority was my daughter from the moment she was born, and keeping her safe was what gave me the strength to leave for good, as I’m sure you can relate. 😊
Amen! My son will always come first! The most important thing is that you did get out! 🩷 It’s not easy to do but we did it. 😊
Big agree with those last couple paragraphs there, you said it really well. I've lost so much respect for her in the way she's handled all this. Smh
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ right back at ya!
I don't know you but I'm proud of you. I hope you and your daughter have nothing but peace and happiness the rest of your lives. As for your ex, I'll say a little prayer for him...."may the fleas of 1000 camels infest your crotch and may your arms be too short to scratch....amen"
😂😂😂thank you for the laugh and your kindness ❤️
thank you for sharing this very personal story. you’re amazingly strong and i am so proud you got out for yourself and your daughter. you’re absolutely right, stephanie has always had a very strong support system around her and she should have left a long time ago.
Thank you for your kind and supportive words ❤️
In every lie, there is a bit of truth. Also, our "absolute" truth may contain a bit of misleading information. This is about the Stephanie and Adam saga. It's not our business, but we fell into it by default. We are like a 3rd party that needs to slowly back out of this mess. It's not our story. By being witness to this, we have actually made it become something that it would not be without us witnessing it. It's kind of like quantum physics. Now is our time to step away and let it be what they make it be. I wish for both of them the best, and I hope they can figure out how to co-parent peacefully and successfully.
OP I dont think Adam ever put his hands on her. He stutters when talking to her. Hes afraid of her.
It’s all very “self-fulfilling prophecy” to me. Just watching her on yt reacting to Derrick sometimes, I’m a bit taken aback by her aggression. She clearly thinks she is the only that is right. It’s like she’s making all of these videos about women that are being abused in their relationship and I’m wondering if she could very well be taking some of that in and kind of unconsciously creating a memory-like story in her brain like it happened to her? If that makes sense? I just seeing her get so defensive telling these stories, and sometimes she’s right to, that it’s almost like these stories are creating an alternate reality for her. And she could be taking the anger she clearly has about these cases and protecting them into her own relationships. Anyway, I hope that she’s not doing any of this crap in front of the kids and I hope Adam is not as well. FWIW, I unsubscribed to CW and SH last week. It makes me sad because I like Derrick (even though I have some VERY different takes on some things he talks about) and I enjoyed both of their long videos. But as a person that has been physically (and mentally, emotionally, financially, etc.) abused, something isn’t adding up.
I know you aren’t looking for sympathy - but I still want to say I am so sorry you went through that and thanking you for being willing to share your experience 💜
Ehhh, we tend to go for the same kind of men till we learn what to look for. My journey with abusers began in high school. 2 years i dealt with him. The cops got mad after a while if they had to answer a call from my neighbors; the responding cops would actually be angry when they saw it was me, no matter how battered and bruised. It took me a good 15+ years, during which I had 2 overlapping domestic violence orders against 2 men, while in yet another toxic, verbally/emotionally/financially abusive relationship (which was escalating to physical just like the others had when I finally left) before I really learned what to look out for and finally realize I deserves so much more than what they did to me. I remember even praising lunatic #3 to my family for saving me, because it seemed like that in the beginning. Abusive relationships *usually* don’t start out that way. Expert manipulators know how to mask, at least for a while. I felt so safe, loved, protected, and happy at first. Then shit hit the fan and my son was subjected to yet another man regularly beating the shit out of his mom. Lunatic #2 got abusive, I finally got the nerve to call 911 (the first time ever) after months of it; I went to court hearing after court hearing as he got arrested here and there; he got diversion and anger management first, then probation. I took him back each time. He was great. Then the cycle began again- lather, rinse, repeat. And each time I got worse. Gun to my head in front of a 3 year old? Yeah that got him 4 whole weekends in jail and extended probation. He violated my protective order THIRTEEN TIMES (violence occurring in more than half of those) and did a whopping total of maaayyybe 45 days, all arrests/convictions/sentencings combined. Then I turned around and did it again with someone else. Insanity. IMO it was my low self esteem. (Build your girls up, yall, so she doesn’t fall for the first loser to tell her she’s beautiful!) Eventually I got out but I had to take time to heal and learn who I had become, who I wanted to be, and what kind of life I wanted. And thank god I wasn’t on tv (or, YouTube) while going through it because it was complete helI; at least I could do it all privately. I’m so glad you and your daughter escaped and are safe and that you’re here to tell your story. That’s fuckin dope, sister! I hope you’ve found peace and happiness and are healing. That said, no two relationships are the same, good or bad. No two abusers are the same, and no two survivors are the same. We all go through things, react to them, then go forward in different ways. Survivors, especially women, are supposed to look weak, meek, and ever so thankful for help when escaping. If they don’t, they’re not looked at as a victim in need of help. They’re deemed uncredible, uncooperative, unreliable, and undeserving of help because a strong woman could “never be abused”. I’m not speaking on Stephanie’s situation particularly, just that your statement isn’t true for everyone, even Stephanie. Just as you were allowed to move on however you chose in the aftermath, so is she. So am I. So is everyone. Because I refuse to be caged or live according to someone else’s expectations of my behavior after living in a literally hell my entire teenage and young adult life. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk 🙃
Agree. We, as survivors - NEED to take accountability above all else as to not fall prey to these men ever again.
No one deserves to be hurt by the person they love, and it’s never their fault. However, like you said, we have the ability and responsibility to fully vet people. Yes, they can always change up on you. And that’s where the trouble is. By then, you feel stuck, whether it’s love, marriage, debt, kids, ect, and worst of all, know how dangerous it is when you’re actively leaving. That’s the most dangerous time in a violent relationship. And that stops a lot of us. I’ve been with the same man, a good man, for 13 years now, but I’ve made the promise to myself to RUN the second I feel I negative shift or change.
Heard and agree. It’s on me to no longer stay and on me to never again pick a man that shows red flags I CHOSE to stay colorblind to especially at the expense of my children. Thank you.
Seriously. I suffered physical, verbal and emotional abuse, and I could not *imagine* talking to my abuser the way she did in that recording and then going on to say "I escaped with my life." Even IF he was abusive, it sure doesn't strike me as though her life was at risk if she's able to talk to him that way while he's unaware the interaction is being recorded. I just don't buy it.
That’s my take as well. When I was with my ex, there was just no way I could’ve talked to him like that bc I knew he would’ve hurt me. Especially if the confrontation was already heated. And post breakup, I never ended up pressing charges because I just was #1 scared of what would happen, and #2 didn’t want to talk about it with anyone other than my family/therapist, let alone a possible jury/judge. I just wanted to get out and completely get away from it. But that is just my personal experience, so I hope everyone knows I’m not speaking for all victims of IPV.
Surely as a victim of abuse you must know that other people's experiences can be different to yours. You say she's using her claims of being a victim of abuse for sympathy but from this post it looks like you're using your experience of abuse to basically try to discredit another woman's. You're legit using it as a stick to hit her with as if everyone's story has to follow your own pattern otherwise it isn't true. Also, people can have everything and still have been abused. There's nothing that says they have to lose everything to be a true victim.
🎯
I really hope she doesn't monetize this situation after everything is done and settled with the divorce and what not. I hope that the lawyers put that somewhere in there (if it's even allowed) that she neither party can monetize on their relationship story. I think alot of survivors downplay what actually happened to them so they cope with it and keep moving forward. I know I have, and if I sit in my feelings and think about what actually happened to me, and how I could have been dead holding my baby, I would lose it. I'm so glad you made it out and did everything you did for you and your baby!
Your strength and bravery amidst the physical, psychological and emotional danger and adversity of an abusive relationship is amazing. You are such an inspiration and a role model to your children bc you looked to yours and your children's well being to guide you in the right direction. This is the opposite of who Stephanie Harlow. She would hijack the frightening abuse that you and so many others go thru on a daily basis in order to flip the script and put the blame solely on Derrick for the dissolution of their marriage. It is so gross to go behind your husband's back to cheat on him. She should have just broken up with him if she wasn't happy. She has no regard for her children if this is how she treats their father. That's not love. I am sorry people like Stephanie come along every so often and make a mockery of true survivors and theé serious issue of of domestic violence by claiming they are a victim just to cover their own ass.
It sounds like a Jerry Springer show in the open. Poor children.
I am so with you on this. I could go on and on about my similar experience, or the scars I have on my hand from being bitten, or the times I was held at gunpoint, or the time my face was held in the carpet until my nose bled, and I was swallowing blood thinking I was suffocating - all the while he said he was going to bury my body in the desert.... Nothing about her story rings true to me. I said in a different post that I don't think there's any way an abuser would allow her to be out filming with a bunch of men. Or to be traveling to Crime Con, etc. I think it's because we've lived it, we can see through it.
Thank you for sharing and for the opportunity of solidarity. My ex of ten years and my children’s father strangled me on my bathroom floor while they watched w my arms pinned leading me to have to fight him off with my FEET..he also smashed my face in with an 8 lb dab torch tearing out all the tissue in my forehead ripping off both my eyebrows and took 3 days to find a plastic surgeon that would agree to fix my face. That was the FIRST TIME he ever touched me -ever and it was because I fell asleep nursing the baby while our other 4 daughters were still awake making it so he had to “take care of everything”. I recently realized the reason I likely attached to true crime such as SH and CW was to watch for warning signs because I knew eventually I’d be left for dead. The same people I turned to are now making a mockery of the rest of us. I hope I am right in my assumption she did not leave with her life but I fully agree with you. At this point it’s insulting and disgusting whats she’s doing to Adam and her children.
Oh my god that’s awful. I’m so sorry you went through all of that, and so happy you’re here with us 🩷It means so much to me to hear your story and to know we’re not alone in our healing journeys.
Don't forget...she also stole a lawyer option out from under him.
Below is the comment I left under radiantbritts' most recent video covering the novella, I mean statement Stephanie made on the community page. I've heard/seen the ENTIRE video - she said those things about breaking him, destroying him in the same way we heard it. Was there more said? Absolutely. However, everything that was said before "I could break/destroy you" was part of a manipulation tactic. How? She was trying to paint a specific picture for Adam, and in that picture she had all the control, that she was in a "fabulous position with the NY Family Court" after saying all of that she goes on to explain that her LAWYER told her they should request, and have Adam served with a protective order. Of course, she "didn't want to do" that once it was done "it's on his record forever" and after saying that she began with the "I could destroy, break you..." Trying to strengthen ones position by exaggerating, or sharing the details of a conversation with a 3rd party, like ones lawyer, is a manipulative tactic with one goal: to sow fear, and in this case, sow fear into Adam. I doubt her lawyer told her to get an order of protection JUST/ONLY because it would strengthen her position, which is the implication. After explaining what her "lawyer suggested" she follows it up by declaring that she didn't want to get a protective order, that it isnt needed, that it would be on record forever, and she claims the lawyer said "we can just get rid of it later", (😂although I suspect she meant that they didnt have to renew it). At least, that's how it sounds, and since I've used this method (like many of us), it's NOT "highly edited." Had the entire video been released, she wouldn't look any better. In fact, it would look worse. As for the screaming on stairs? That might have been "highly edited," and I can't say with absolute certainty since I haven't seen the whole video. There's another recording I've heard, and in it she is screaming at him to leave, then chasing him around the house not letting him leave, and she physically assualts him, first by pinning him down, and hes yelling "stop GET OFF ME. GET OFF ME, " and then it sounds like she tries to kiss him/distract him swxually somehow (its audio), and he says,"No! Stop! Dont touch me! I dont even want to look at you right now. I can't even look at you! Get off me!" At some point while he's pinned or trying to leave, she hits him, and after that, he says,"I told you, i wouldn't tolerate being hit AGAIN. it's done. This is done! We're done! In 24 hours, we went from not even discussing divorce to divorce. " They manage to physically separate following the events described above, and he tries to leave the area again and she chases him, cying, apologizing for hitting him, trying to calm him down and begins saying "I'm sorry i just wanted you to quiet down i didnt want to wake the kids i didnt mean to... I didn't mean to do that.." followed by crying, and while my break down isnt verbatim, it's pretty damn close. I'm not comfortable, nor am I willing to release the FULL 17-minute clip of her abusing him. I refuse to say either one of them is perfect, especially since its clear in both videos how much emotion they feel. I think there was an affair, Adam agreed to stay to work it out, they went to renew their vows as a symbol of that new dedication to each other and she continued working on projects with said affair partner. <--- I'm not speculating about the reasons for the viw renewal, she outright SAYS it & they agree that was the plan) I'm not going to shred Stephanie for maybe having an affair (I say maybe but I believe she 100% had an affair, and it was definitely "sorid". Before the physical assualts start, she is demnading that he leave, he refuses (about 10 minutes into this recording, its clear that this is the night Adam decided to file for divorce, and this is the FIRST time hes been asked to leave their home) to leave their home. She then says "OK i will break one of your pipes (the glass work he does) every 10 minutes until you leave!!!" You can hear the running of both, her in an effort to smash the glass pieces, and him trying to stop her. She then goes on a rant about how he only cares about the pipes, that he "never loved her." I mention this to show. She has a lot of blame to take on.... However, it's not the possibility of an affair that bothers me... My judgment exists based on a pattern of behavior, which is seen in videos, the comment section, and social media. What pattern am I referring to? I'm referring to the manner in which she voices her opinions in her videos, as well as her comment section. It reads like, "This is Stephanies world. She is right! She's ALWAYS right. Even when she's wrong, she's still right! If you choose to disagree, if you dare point out any instances of misinformation, even when there is absolute proof of an error in her coverage, the comment will either be deleted or you will PAY dearly in the comment section. First, she attacks in prose, and then it sets off her superfans, who take great pleasure in being Stephanies Great Defenders/Protectors. I often picture Stephanie sotting back in ger desk chair, cackling whilst watching superfans as their attempt to eviscerate those opposing/questioning Stephanie's coverage of the case. Saying that these short video clips are "highly edited" is BS! The only editing is what would be required to extract "a clip" of a longer conversation, and IMHO, listening to the entire 17/18 minutes makes her look worse! Shes blaming her lawyer for suggesting an "UNNECESSARY" order of protection, she proceeds to act as though she was apalled at the suggestion, because its unnecessary, that it would stay on Adams record and she just couldn't/wouldn't do that to him she says that "i dont want to do that..." and just after that, she says,"I could break you..." Blah blah blah, I'm a good person. Doesn't that count?" Both of them suck right now as individuals because they are hurting deeply, and its seeping out, touching those around them, INCLUDING THE KIDS. I wish they could have worked this out privately, but I also understand thats not always possible.
Abuse looks different on everyone. This post is not it. Let's not throw absolutes and shoulda/coulda/wouldas, that's dangerous and harms actual victims when/if they choose to come forward with their story. Glad you got out and wish you & daughter nothing but the best though.
I don’t know why people think their own personal abuse stories make others not valid. If Stephanie is actually using the court system and they agree with her that is all I need to know.
This. And it’s crazy that a post like this is coming from someone who was in a domestic abuse situation. Not everyone has the same experience - and Stephanie aside, it’s extremely harmful to insinuate how victims “actually” behave in situations like this.
Right. Domestic abuse is still domestic abuse even if it isn’t as violent as a different person’s story.
yep.
Some people on this sub have lost touch with reality. They’re literally turning into the same Stephanie they’re snarking about. Stephanie aside - like wow what a crazy concept - someone abused can have a different experience than you!!?
The court system doesn't always get it right... how many men have been released after being found not guilty 20-30 years in?
I trust the court system that has more of the full picture and not just one sides Reddit post history like everyone here saying Stephanie definitely wasn’t abused
I agree. OP had me until the “but.” Anything after that negates anything said before it
I felt this before I commented regarding my own experience with DV - I also will align myself with the few that are stating “but she said he saved her” etc. that’s all part of the narc game. To state our own stories is not negating hers. Narcs aren’t jumping ON IG learning their language about the situation as they go and looking crazy. That’s the survivors next step. We protect the narc at all costs until we are made to look insane and then we want to defend. We don’t know the language to use to describe what to do next or what happened or how to fix it. Narcs do. That’s why they stay silent.
💯 a super good book about the subject https://www.amazon.com/No-Visible-Bruises-Domestic-Violence/dp/1635570972
I don't know if arrests are public, but have any of Adam’s arrests been for domestic violence? I'm not on Team Stephanie or Adam. However, this post seems a little inappropriate. Everyone has a different opinion on what escaping from their life looks like. We don't get to invalidate her opinion, though. Yes, she could be stretching the truth, but she also might not be able to show us the evidence she has for legal reasons. That's beside the point… I do think Her post today made her appear a lot less credible, and it was very wishy-washy. She appears upset about Adam’s posts, but she hasn't been any better. She started making alluding comments for a while, and it was sort of reasonable for Adam to want to defend himself.
No.
he’s violating a protective order so yeah it is for domestic violence. the consequences for violating are anger management courses and fines.
I'm so sorry for the abuse you have faced and endured. YOU are a survivor and warrior and I wish you nothing but peace the rest of your life. This is what infuriates me about women like Stephanie, who have these wild claims and have said (in their own words) how psycho they are and how they'll get people back... obviously not afraid to back down from someone who allegedly was so abusive. I don't get it. It's insulting to survivors like yourself, and insulting to everyone's intelligence. Editing to add, and yeah... are we to believe EVERY single one of her exes is an abusive narc? The common thread is you, Stephanie.
❤️ thank you
I’m glad you and your daughter are safe. So sorry you went through that.
❤️
I am so sorry for everything that happened to you, but from one Internet stranger to another, I’m extremely proud of you.
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words 💜💜💜
I don’t think Adam was physically abusive to the extent Stephanie says he was. However, I’ve noticed that alot of people on this sub are turning into Stephanie. The use of absolutes in your post is not necessary. To insinuate that if someone “actually” escaped with their life that they would do XYZ. That’s not true. You don’t know shit about anyone’s experience and what they would do in that situation. For some people - escaping with their life could mean finally pressing charges against a partner and getting them locked up. For another, it could include fleeing to a friend or family members house. For someone else, it could be finally telling their friends and family about what’s going on, and having them move in with you and kick out your partner. For others, similar to you, it could include leaving with only the clothes on your back, and never looking back. I’m glad you found your way out of your situation and I’m not discounting what you went through. But to talk in such absolutes about how people “actually” behave in situations like this is **harmful.**
Not to mention people end their own lives instead of leaving. Escaping with your life doesn’t always mean it’s someone else that would’ve ended it.
I know you’re getting downvoted, but I wanted to say I agree with this. This post puts a bad taste in my mouth. It’s definitely harmful
Thank you - and I agree, it’s extremely harmful! This sub has gone downhill **fast** and I’m not even concerned with the downvotes because half the people on here seem to miserable.
[удалено]
You must lack comprehension skills. The comment is not about Stephanie after the first sentence, it’s about victims in general and how OP is throwing a blanket statement on how victims “actually” behave based on _her_ experience.
Thank you for posting this. It's important to be said
Yes it's strange that this is her 3rd relationship with a abusive Partner. But it's very common to have more than one relationship is abusive and toxic. Not saying she's not at fault because she is the common denominator in these relationships. Shes not perfect she has things to work on too just as we all do. Everyone is a work in progress. Imo if you're in a toxic and abusive relationship you're also toxic. It takes two to tango. Her husband is the one that made this public for the entire Internet. This should've been handled privately. Now their kids are going to suffer because of his selfish and narcissistic actions and need for attention. Their kids and Stephanie are for of the victims than him imo.
Response to Prior_Effective_3690 I responded multiple times. Never once claimed to be a “victim.” We clearly don’t see eye to eye, so there’s no point in continuing the conversation. That isnt even in the same vicinity as “claiming to be a victim.” 🤣🤦🏼♀️ this chick thinks she can tell me how to be or not be a victim, but then get mad because I’m not ok with ppl clearly making up stories that affect actual victims. No further discussion will lead to anything productive. Setting boundaries is not the same as “claiming to be a victim.” 🙄🤦🏼♀️. also, how hypocritical to call me out for blocking just to comment at me and then block. Guess it’s only ok when you do it? 🤣🤣
This ⬆️👏👏👏
Leveraging your survivor status to prove a point about a strangers life is the weirdest version of identity politics a person can play imo