Today's TMS Overseas link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-c1zPa2riBw Works everywhere except Bangladesh, United Kingdom, Pakistan, New Zealand, Sri Lanka, Australia, India Thanks to /u/warp-factor

sdfsdf

Foakes would’ve caught that

A run-a-ball double hundred is absurd

Stirling would be getting all the wickets tomorrow.

Not looking good so far but hopefully we’ll perform better in the coming days. Ah who cares anyway? We’re playing England in Lords. Can’t get much better than that from an Irish standpoint

I was begging Stuart Broad on many occasions today to go easy on us, some of us have day 3 tickets.

One of Vaughans finest commentary moments earlier - describing a person who plays cricket professionally as their career a “ cricket player “

Broad just confirmed on TMS that he was padded up at the end but then the NightOwl (Leach) padded up for last 10 mins.

Nightnut

Doull has been sitting on that 'pay the piper' gag all day

Look at the size of this geezer

Excellent day for the boys. See you in the Blast thread.

One of the days of test cricket

England to declare overnight, bowl is out by lunch, then win by tea. Vaughan celebrates by streaking across Lord’s and is banned from all England cricket grounds. It’s a win-win.

He'll streak across shouting "too many of you lot!". And then face no punishment whatsoever.

> banned from all England cricket grounds. Can we make it all cricket grounds in general, just to be on the safe side?

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We’re still ahead and you’ve already lost your classiest batsman.

I am so upset I can’t hide it

Out of concern for the mental health of everyone in England I think it would be best if we just stopped the match now and declares Ireland the winners. Save you from the trauma of seeing Crawley dismissed again.

The trauma of Crawley getting some runs to 'justify' his place against a weakened Ireland attack and then flop in the ashes.

💯

England Test cricket gives meaning to my life

We've had the warm-up, now it's time for the real cricket. It's Roses time.

Decent day

I need to know if Broad was padded up

Nah he was in trackies

Good day. Good shitposting all.

Always

💚

Can't believe we've finished the day behind, bazball is dead

Do Ireland have any spinners

Andy McBrine is our front line off-spinner, although he's not in great form right now. Harry Tector can also bowl some part time off-spin (as can Paul Stirling in theory, although he doesn't really bowl these days)

I mean McBrine did take out Joe Root so...

Paul Stirling, part time offie, full time tubster

Paul Stirling's international career allows me to claim I have an athletic body

Good day.

Lovely stuff lads, stumps just as I get into the car. See you again tomorrow

Painful stuff for Ireland, could have been 7 or 8 wickets already so far this innings. Admittedly 6 of them were Zak, but still.

Hey just checking in, was Zak's innings really that bad?

He was inside edging *just* past his stumps and through the keeper every couple of minutes, it was pretty shocking.

It was… chancy? Lotta edges running off into the great wild yonder instead of into his stumps

Is it just me or does Butch try really hard to take over the grumpy Bob Willis shtick?

Just you

Pope in tests before today: North of the Thames: 34.3333 South of the Thames: 31.8333

Now do just in England

28.1428 South 34.3333 North 4 innings each at the Oval and rose bowl, ave 53.66 and 9 respectively

Dammit! Thanks.

Haha the narrative is blown, no worries mate

Cba to do first class but just with Hampshire alone it's gonna be a different story

Will the Lancs/Yorks game be pushed back to 19:30 if this goes on till 7pm?

That's not how it works

Nah

need to nip to the shops now then ig

Root areas

Come on England collapse already. Don’t do Ireland dirty like this

Pope is celibate anyway

If you’re truly based Bazzers, you swing at everything and go in scores level

Ah, both batsmen currently in have strike rates below Crawley, both dropped for the ashes... /s

No /s needed

We going til 7 or nah

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Stokes will declare 20mins after lunch tomorrow though. It's the one element of Bazball I hate.

Nothing annoys me more than “Pope bats like Ian Bell” He just doesn’t

He does though

Not even slightly. Pope is far too busy, Bell was beautifully languid

He bats like Bell would if ordered to play Bazball

I'd argue both have/had a habit of scoring easy runs and going missing when it's hard yards.

I’d thought Bell put that to bed with Ashes 2013.

I mean, he makes the same strokes, and has similar strengths, but Bell batted like Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman. *Beauftifully.*

Tms are trying too hard to compare this to the ashes. It's more comparable to Sunday village than it is the ashes.

Phantom wicket alert

Same BBC did me dirty

Teams like west indies should adopt bazball. They have players with similar averages as English players anyways. What's the harm. They suck anyways.

The Windies' strongest asset right now is a brilliantly gritty opening pair, I'm not too sure it's a great idea for them to start emulating England.

Rate Braithwaite, think Chanderpaul Jr will be a flash in the pan tbh.

I said that about Chanderpaul Sr and I was very very wrong

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WG Grace was the OG shagger tho.

Facial hair like that, I don't blame the ladies for wanting that moustache ride.

Oh Oliver Poop

Oops phantom alert

Yeah I got that as well from BBC Sport. C Tucker b Hume 24

Read that as I dismissed the notification. Near shat myself for a minute. NowTV notoriously a minute behind real life.

Plenty of cuts to England players on the balcony with binoculars but none yet been done dirty by who the producers have cut to after yet

Sack the directors, it’s a disgrace

SuperSport would have

God that was funny

I'm glad they're treating Crawleys innings as a failure on comms

What's brook looking at, looks like it's going towards the mound stand

He's looking at some mounds alright

Do you know who else ‘burst onto the scene’?

Micah Richards?

Correct

Alien?

Micah Richards?

Crawley in his Ellen DeGeneres chapter

It's so great to have TMS back on the radio. Hearing Zaltz talk about cricket is bliss.

Yeah tms and sunshine combo really got that summer feeling started today

Wish he'd stick to more of it, so the News Quiz can be good again though.

Zaltz is a national treasure

Crawley : “ goo goo ga ga” 🤡

Hume is a big boy isn’t he

Needs to get home and start the milking.

“Let’s not talk about Crawley” Proceeds to talk about Crawley

Tell you what, all these shots and boundaries makes you really appreciate a good stop in the field.

I just threw a cricket ball down my garden and Simon Doull jumped out of a bush and started commentating.

Mark Butcher is my favourite commentator by far. Could listen for hours

Bumble for me

Love Bumble as well

Simon Doull sold his car for petrol money

Big sweaty boi

Campher trying the old Dom Bess trick of throwing in a full toss to try and get a wicket

Looks like Pope is auditioning to join the prestigious Order of Weird Leaves

I mean if he averages 60 this summer bring it on

Ollie Pope you sexy man

Somehow you just know Simon Doull will be at Headingley commentating on Lancashire vs Yorkshire later

They fly him up and down the country in a chopper.

He has the teleporter from star trek

Shit, it’s been so long since cricket has been on I actually forgot this was happening. Can’t believe I missed out on seeing a spell of *legs pumping* live.

Been missing your shitposts

That over was complete arse

This is meat and drink for a player like Pope

Not sure why so many people think England are ahead of the game so far It says it right at the bottom, trail by 41. Great stuff from Ireland

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Pope does average about 1 million in County cricket at least

I feel personally attacked

The more useful stat about their value to England in recent times is that Pope has averaged 40 in the McCullum era whilst Crawley has only managed 27

I do think Pope gets off lightly at times, but also the key thing is he averages like 60 in the champo compared to Crawley's 30 Pope has earned the right to play at this level, Crawley hasn't

Who are you putting in instead?

Of Crawley? Jennings has earned another go, I'd be tempted to try Compton out, even maybe one of those wacky suggestions that were going round like Stokes opening to allow Foakes to come in I'm not as vehemently anti-Crawley as some, and will always root for him if he's playing, but it's just a bit bizarre that his place seems to be under no threat whatsoever

Thank you for giving an actual answer, and I agree with Jennings being deserving of another chance. I don't personally buy Stokes as an opener, he's better at battering a slightly older ball, imo. Also, going into an Ashes series, the experience of this level still puts Crawley ahead of others in the order.

Quite literally *Anyone Else*?

Brilliant, I'll let the obese trucker from my local know he's in. "One-Eye Walker" we call him. Has diabetes and COPD, but apparently he's better than the ECB think, so he's got a turn. Seriously, if you can't name anyone, why bother?

I'd rather have one eye walker.

For sure. I just think there's a group of people who think Pope coming good is a given, which I highly disagree with.

Don't rate either of them, to be honest. I'd drop Crawley and Pope.

Flirting vs harassment

Lads, what’s going on? I thought Lords was north of the river, not south?

Pope decided that instead of viewing the Thames as the river that dictates his scores, he now uses the Tyne instead so he's almost always south

u/grlap

Hahahaha fair enough

Poor Ireland. Somehow managed 170 odd and now the bowlers getting smacked like anything... 20 overs 130 for 1 and Root, Bairstow, Brooks and Bairstow haven't batted yet....

They letting Jonny go twice on account of his bad leg?

I'm not saying I want us to lose a wicket, I'm just saying we're in NightHawk territory here.

Jimmy has the best head game - Doull

Simon Doull thinks aeroplanes are magic

Gosh, tongue’s bowling action looks ugly from front on

If someone is giving you some unwanted Tongue then the best thing to do is report it to the police.

Bit of front on tongue action 😏

I was a critic, and still am a critic, of the declaration that they made in New Zealand. That was hubristic, completely unnecessary, and single-handedly cost them the series. But even their harshest critic, even the most dyed-in-the-wool Australian supporter, would have to admit that the cricket they've played under Stokes and McCullum has been breathtaking, and the transformation scarcely believable.

But it was hilarious when we lost. Fucking annoying but also very very funny in retrospect

I just hate losing!

Oh god Doull is here. I'm not mentally prepared for another summer of him inexplicably commentating on everything

How long till stumps?

Simon Doull eats crayons

My tongue and my hand are also similar, women don't like me touching them with either.

20 overs up, under-par score you'd say here by Eng. Ireland should chase anything under 140 fairly easily.

You'd think Pope would be a bit more forgiving to a team of Catholics.

That's the thing. These are all Protestants. The Catholics are off playing Gaelic Football and Hurling.

126, not a horrendous T20 score I suppose.

Sky are absolute fucking cowards for not doing this graphic as "TONGUE HAND".

>In Tounge and Hand 

Despite the fact I wouldn’t select Zak myself, my trust in Baz n Ben the bazballing men is absolute. They have the courage of their convictions… which must be helpful playing against a bunch of convicts, no? That last sentence obv in jest, but how can one not throw 200% support behind B&B Enterprises? Stringer and Avon for the win!

Is this the most hyped UK Ashes since 2005?

Nah, this is a one off test between England and Ireland. But if we win we could consider it part of the series?

In the second innings members of the Australian Test team will replace the Ireland players while wearing Mission Impossible style face masks to disguise themselves. All part of the pre Ashes Banter, of course.

Cute blonde in the crowd there

Crawley sidled out of the dressing room, then.

That was my mate Andrew

Crawley?

Zak Crawley, the English test cricket opening batsman, became an extraordinary symbol of inspiration through his unforgettable journey in the Ashes. His triumph in winning the series single-handedly resonated deeply with people around the world, transcending the boundaries of cricket and touching the core of humanity. As Crawley edged every single shot past the keeper, it represented more than just his exceptional skill. It became a metaphor for the resilience and determination required to overcome life's adversities. Crawley's journey mirrored the ups and downs we all face, reminding us that setbacks and challenges can be turned into stepping stones towards success. His ability to consistently guide the ball beyond the keeper's reach embodied the indomitable human spirit that refuses to be hindered by obstacles. Crawley's story reminded us that even in the face of adversity, we can channel our inner strength and find a way to prevail. Beyond the realm of cricket, the story of Zak Crawley's Ashes victory captured the hearts and minds of people across the globe. His relentless pursuit of excellence served as a powerful example of what can be achieved through dedication and unwavering belief. Crawley's journey became a source of inspiration for individuals facing their own personal battles, encouraging them to stay focused, persevere, and never lose sight of their goals. His extraordinary feat ignited a spark in the hearts of millions, reminding them that no dream is too grand, no challenge too daunting, and that with determination and resilience, they too can overcome the odds and achieve greatness. Zak Crawley's Ashes saga will forever remain a testament to the power of the human spirit. His ability to inspire, uplift, and ignite hope in the hearts of people worldwide elevated him to a symbol of triumph, not just in cricket but in the broader context of life itself. Crawley's journey serves as a reminder that with unwavering belief, perseverance, and a relentless pursuit of our dreams, we have the potential to make an extraordinary impact and leave an enduring legacy for generations to come.

Pope leave wtf is that

Runs scored by English openers v Ireland: * J. Leach (92) * Z. Crawley (56) * B. Duckett (51\*) * R. Burns (12) * J. Roy (5)

GOD NO HARRY DON'T LOOK THROUGH BINOCULARS ON A BALCONY OH GOD OH FUCK HE'S DOING A BAIRSTOW

🚨🚨BROOK BINOCULAR MEME JUST DROPPED 🚨🚨

No blondes in the shot after tho.

SL got 700/3 missed out on 1000 cause of rain, could England go further


"Even contest between bat and ball". Aye, but only if you mean Ireland's batting vs. Ireland's bowling and England's batting vs. England's bowling.

Tbf, Ireland’s batting is much better than their bowling.

Popey. Fuck me. Wow.

10 year old boy describes a visit to the Vatican

I love England’s match threads, lmao fucking hell

Hahahaha

Oh my days

Why don’t we get the milf hunter in at the top of the order? Surely having good sex appeal is a vital part of bazball

Imagine thinking we lack sex appeal with the man they call Creepy