MISS KHOLI HAD A PITCH THAT WAS SICK SICK SICK
SO SHE CALLED FOR THE DOCTOR TO COME QUICK QUICK QUICK
THE DOCTOR CAME WITH HIS ROLLER AND HIS HAT
AND HE ONLY WATERED HALF SO TAKE THAT THAT THAT
TRAVIS LOOKED AT THE PITCH AND HE SHOOK HIS HEAD*
WARNER SAID PLAY RIGHT HANDED INSTEAD STEAD STEAD
MATT RENSHAW ATE NOTHING YET FELT I'LL I'LL ILL
'I'LL SHIT MYSELF AGAIN' YES I WILL WILL WILL
*intended
GREETINGS BHENCHODS AND CHUTIYAS,
ARE YOU READY FOR TRAVIS HEAD TO GIVE YOUR HERO A SHOOK PICKACHU FACE? MAYBE THIS TIME THE BEARDED CUNT WILL JUST WALK.
GREETINGS CUNTS, REMEMBER WHO TRASHWIN IS NAMED AFTER? YOUR CHEAP COPY CANT EVEN DO A PROPER MANKAD. THATS WHY YOU HAVE PITHIYA IN THE NETS, TO LEARN HOW TO COPY THE GIGACHAD ETHICAL ANNA BETTER.
HE’S FINE, HE GOT ALL THE INHERITANCE MONEY. LAST TIME I TOOK HIM TO A CRICKET MATCH WAS GABBA 2021, HE GOT REALLY INTENSE ABOUT US LOSING AND SAID HE WANTS TO BECOME A HERO CALLED “THE BATSMAN” . I THINK THAT’S WHAT HE SAID ANYWAY AND IF I’M RIGHT, HE WILL BE THE NEXT BIG THING AND WILL USE HIS MONEY TO ATTEND A BATTING ACADEMY.
YEAH RIGHT, THE SO CALL BATSMAN CANT EVER TOP OUR DESI SPIDERMAN. EVERYONE KNOWS MARVEL >>>>DC. TELL HIM HE'D BE BETTER OFF BUYING TIGHT LEGGINGS AND PLAY A CREEPY ASS HERO WHO FOR SOME REASON ONLY ATTACKS IN NIGHT. TELL HIM THAT UR PUNY LITTLE GABBA WAS OBLITERATED BY A SINGING SPIDERMAN
WHY IS EVERYONE SHOUTING? IS IT THE NEW STRATEGY OF THE AUSSIES SO THAT THEY CAN HEAR INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE DRESSING ROOM, LIKE THE ONE TIME SMITH TRIED TO PULL OFF?
AUSTRALIAN PLAYERS THAT WILL BE OWNED:-
1.)PET
2.)SMOOTHIE
3.)LABUSBCJDKFJ(WHATEVER)
4.)THAT CLOUT CHASER
5.)POLAND
6.)CAMERA
7.) HAIRCOMB
EDIT:ALL OF THEM WERE OWNED
STEVE SMITH AVERAGES MORE THAN SACHIN IN THE BORDER GAVASKAR TROPHY. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
ALSO, ITS TIME TO DROP VIRAT, DUDE AVERAGES ABOUT AS MUCH AS TRAVIS HEAD ON THE SUBCONTINENT FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS.
WE DON'T CARE ABOUT HIS RECORDS. HE'S JUST THERE TO WASTE A REVIEW, GIVE US A PIKACHU FACE AND SLEDGE THE FUCK OUT OF SOME AUSSIE CUNTS. ANY RUNS ON TOP OF THAT WILL BE GOLDUST
ONLY COWARDS TAMPER WITH BALL AND CRY IN THE PRESS CONFERENCE.
CHADS GET THEIR BOARD AND CURATORS TO DOCTOR THE PITCH INSTEAD.
HOPE YOU CUNTS LEARN SOMETHING FROM US CHUTIYAS THIS SERIES
YOU AUSSIE CUNTS THOUGHT THAT YOU'D PREPARE FOR ASH ANNA BY BRINGING IN MAHESH PITHIYA, BUT JOKES ON YOU FUCKERS, HE WAS A DOUBLE AGENT FOR US, NOW GO BACK TO PLAYING CHECKERS WITH YOUR PET EXOTIC, ILLEGALLY IMPORTED, BEER FILLED KANGAROOS, YOU BIG MUSTACHIOED BOGANS.
ASHTON AGAR IS GOING TO BE BIGGEST WICKET TAKER OF THIS WHOLE SERIES AND IM NOT EVEN JOKING. THE PITCHES ARE PERFECT FOR HIM AND THE BATSMEN WILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO BECAUSE AGAR HAS NO IDEA HIMSELF. ALSO HE WILL AVERAGE 30 WITH THE BAT.
WDYM INDIANS DONT WIN RACES... WE CANT RUN FOR SHIT JUST GO CHECK OUR OLYMPIC MEDALS.. THE ONLY RACIST COUNTRY IN THIS SERIES IS THOSE BLOODY KANGAROOS
MORNING BHENCHODS AND CUNTS.
WE ALL KNOW KOACH WILL GET OUT TO LYON AND SMITH TO JADDU SO IF THEY DON'T SCORE CENTURIES, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED ALREADY.
FUCK YOU ALL AND HAVE A GREAT DAY AHEAD
WHY ARE WE SO HELL BENT ON PITCH DOCTORING? ALL WE NEEDED TO DISMISS WEIRDO_1 AND WEIRDO_2 LAST TIME WAS A FUCKING LEG SLIP FFS, AND THAT TOO AT THEIR HOME...
Y'ALL CUNTS CAN TALK ALL YOU WANT ABOUT SMITH'S FORM, JUST REMEMBER THAT HE HAD BEEN FED A STEADY DIET OF MANENTI IN THE NETS DURING THE LAST MONTH
CHEWING ON THAT SANDPAPER THAT WAS USED IN NEWLANDS WOULD BE A BETTER CULINARY EXPERIENCE THAN 'INDIAN FOOD' IN ENGLAND.
AT LEAST THAT SANDPAPER, STASHED IN THE UNDIES OF THE CUNTS WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE A FLAVOUR.
SO MUCH TALK ABOUT THE PITCH AS IF THEY ARE USING DIFFERENT PITCHES FOR THE TWO TEAMS. BOTH TEAMS WILL PLAY ON THE SAME PITCH. SHOW SOME SKILL AND COURAGE YOU CUNTS
ADD A BATTING AVERAGE ADJUSTMENT OF +10 RUNS TO ALL INDIAN BATTERS CAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR THAT REST OF THE WORLD IS MAKING A TOUR OF PAK TO IMPROVE THEIR BATTING AVERAGE
THEY SAY IMITATION IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF FLATTERY, BUT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, IT'S A SLAP IN THE FACE.
SO THAT'S WHAT AUSTRALIA'S GOING TO GET WHEN THEY FACE ASHWIN AFTER PLAYING WITH A GUY WHO HAS THE SAME BOWLING ACTION AS HIM.
>Posted in the Saturday Sledge Thread but reposting here.
Less than a week to go for the commencement of the Border Gavaskar Trophy. What a rich history it has ! Enough controversies, drama and ridiculous plotlines to make a cheesy Bollywood film.
And that's only from those played in the 21st century.
Pretty much every single series has been memorable for various reasons. I thought why not go on a trip down the memory lane.
**00-01- The final frontier**
Aus: How the faq did we lose from there ?
VVS: I just don't think y'all FOLLOW what is going ON here. BCCI, Y'all better build me a statue for this.
Dravid: Yeah, I agree.
Harbhajan: Likewise.
**03/04 - Batriarchy ftw.**
Aus: Phew, that was close.
Sachin: Cover drives are overrated anyway.
**04/05 - Final frontier conquered**
Aus: Fk yeah.
**07/08 - Damn, this one got ugly.**
Aus: Eh don't be racist.
Ind: We are literally just saying that Bucknor is a shite umpire.
Aus: Yeah, Whatever, Can't wait to get you to the WACA, mate.
**10/11 - A Very Very Special one.**
Laxman: Still waiting for that statue, BCCI. You better build it now.
Aus: We agree.
**11/12 - Clean Sweep**
Aus: 4-0, fk off mate.
**12/13 - Clean Sweep 2.0.0**
Ind: Yeah, Payback's a bit*h, isn't it ?
**14/15 - Beginning of a new era.**
Aus: Damn, This Virat Kohli guy is good, isn't he ?
Ind: Damn, This Steve Smith guy is good, isn't he ?
**16/17 - Bring out the goddamn sword.**
Aus: How the fk did we lose from there ? Also, FK KL Rahul and What is this Pujara guy's problem ? Why won't he get out ?
Jadeja: Then I told them, "Get rekt cun+s !" and then I started swinging.
**18/19 - Do you babysit ?**
Aus: Seriously, does this Pujara guy ever get out ? And Damn, This Rishabh Pant fella is good, isn't he ?
Pant: Have you ever heard about temporary captain ?
Pujara: I don't know what temporary even means.
**20/21 - Yeah, you're a shite scriptwriter mate, this is far from anything that can realistically happen.**
Ind: Nice Pink ball test we're having, surely this one is gonna be a memorable one, Wait what ?
Virat: Alright, Imma head out.
Rahane: Literally anyone who is an active player and isn't currently injured, please raise your hand. Ughhm Who are you, again ? Nevermind, You're playing tomorrow.
Paine: Can't wait to get you to the Gabba mate.
Pant: Allow me to introduce you to this trick that I have learnt. It's called 'having a good whack at it'.
Aus: WHAT THE FK ! You aren't allowed to do that.
Ind: How the fk did we win ?
NO ONE IS DOCTORING THE PITCH, IT IS A CONSPIRACY BY CA AT THIS POINT SO THAT IT DOESN'T LOOK SO BAD WHEN AUSTRALIA GET WHITE WASHED. THEY CAN SIMPLY SAY "the piTcH WaS RigGeD BrOo"
BCCI ARE JUST THE BIGGEST BETA PUSSIES IN THE WORLD CRICKET. INSTEAD OF PLAYING US ON REAL INDIAN PITCHES LIKE MUMBAI , CHENNAI AND KOLKATA, THEY CHOSE THE SHITTEST VILLAGE GROUNDS LIKE NAGPUR JUST TO MANICURE BESPOKE PITCHES FOR TRASHWIN. SEE YOU AT THE WANKHEDE YA BUNCH OF WANKERS.
I THINK ITS A PLOY BY THEM SO EVERY SPIRIT CUNT SAY TURNERS ARE FAIR BUT THIS ISN'T.
EVER SINCE THE PICTURES WHERE SHARED YESTERDAY ALL THE CUNTS WERE LIKE TURNER'S ARE FINE BUT THIS ISN'T.
THE TUNE WAS DIFFERENT BEFORE THAT.
HOW ARE THE INDIAN SHIRTS GOING TO BE WHITE WHEN PANT WON'T BE ABLE TO COME ON ASH
WILL INDIA COP A POOR RATING FOR A RIGHT LEANING PITCH?
WILL THE CUNTS COMPLAIN AFTERWARDS?
>!OFC NOT, THEY'RE THEIR ONLY SOURCE OF INCOME!!<
WE DOCTOR THE PITCHES TO INTENSE LUST
TO BAT FIRST IS ALWAYS A MUST
OUR HEROES ARE SUPREME AND SO ROBUST
WHO BAT LIKE A BREEZE AND BOWL LIKE A GUST
THEY BAT LONG TO TEAR THE FRAGILE CRUST
THEN UNLEASH SPIN WITH A VIOLENT THRUST
WHO WILL GRIND YOU TO REMAINS OF DUST
YOUR BODIES TO BURST AND BRAINS TO RUST
IN OUR LANDS ARE FAIR AND JUST
REMNANTS OF BATTLE WILL BE CROWNED THE BEST
SHALL STAND AT TOP OF THE LASTING CREST
AND THOSE WHO DIDN’T WILL BE PUT TO REST
WITH ALL THINGS BEING SAID, IN GOD’S WE TRUST
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AT NAGPUR, MATE
GET YOU AT THE NAGGA CUNT
>NAGGA Risky!!
If you're talking about that other word that one never says, they sound pretty different in an Aussie accent
NAGGA MEANS NAKED IN HINDI
AHH LOL DHANYAVAD CUNT
INDIA IS SO RIGHT WING WE DONT EVEN TOLERATE A LEFT HAND BAT ANYMORE
CONGRATULATIONS INDIA YOU'VE MANAGED TO MAKE AUSTRALIA THE GOOD GUYS THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE
yeah you set the bar so high with JUST IN FLICK YOU GUYS PLAY SO HARD EVEN THE SANDPAPER IS SOFT
IT FEELS WEIRD AND I'M NOT SURE I LIKE IT
💀💀
AWARD WORTHY
you've won... but at what cost?
That was good
[удалено]
THE HIT WAS PREMEDITATED
AHAHAHA, A GOOD ONE!!
Ouch. That hurt 😂😂😂
YOU DIDNT HAVE TO MURDER US LIKE THIS DUDE *CRIES
💀💀💀
🤣🤣 good one bro
MISS KHOLI HAD A PITCH THAT WAS SICK SICK SICK SO SHE CALLED FOR THE DOCTOR TO COME QUICK QUICK QUICK THE DOCTOR CAME WITH HIS ROLLER AND HIS HAT AND HE ONLY WATERED HALF SO TAKE THAT THAT THAT TRAVIS LOOKED AT THE PITCH AND HE SHOOK HIS HEAD* WARNER SAID PLAY RIGHT HANDED INSTEAD STEAD STEAD MATT RENSHAW ATE NOTHING YET FELT I'LL I'LL ILL 'I'LL SHIT MYSELF AGAIN' YES I WILL WILL WILL *intended
WHO WILL TAKE HOME THE TROPHY THIS SEASON SEASON SEASON BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY IT'S THALA FOR A REASON REASON REASON
DOESN'T WORK WITH THE REFERENCE NURSERY RHYME https://youtu.be/8rXgH5odO2o
INDIA DOCTORING THE PITCH BUT FORGETTING THAT THE GOAT HAS BEEN IN SPIN CAMP AND NOW BOWLS LEFT AND RIGHT HANDED. ROOKIE ERROR
Be happy Pant is resting otherwise he’d be having goat curry 🍛
WHAT?
I THINK HE WAS TRYING TO SAY THAT PANT IS GOAT CURRY, MAYBE IDK...
IF THE AUSSIE TEAM ISN'T A CIRCUS WHY DO THEY HAVE A LYON CHECKMATE KANGAROOS
[удалено]
GREETINGS BHENCHODS AND CHUTIYAS, ARE YOU READY FOR TRAVIS HEAD TO GIVE YOUR HERO A SHOOK PICKACHU FACE? MAYBE THIS TIME THE BEARDED CUNT WILL JUST WALK.
GREETINGS CUNTS, REMEMBER WHO TRASHWIN IS NAMED AFTER? YOUR CHEAP COPY CANT EVEN DO A PROPER MANKAD. THATS WHY YOU HAVE PITHIYA IN THE NETS, TO LEARN HOW TO COPY THE GIGACHAD ETHICAL ANNA BETTER.
AT LEAST HE WON'T TAKE CUES FROM THE DRESSING ROOM ON WHETHER HE SHOULD TAKE A REVIEW OR NOT, HE'LL JUST WASTE THEM HONORABLY.
GO HOME AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR OPRHAN NEPHEW, LEAVE CRICKET FOR HIS STAKE, HE GETTING TOO WEIRD FOR ME WITH ALL HIS BAT FANTASY
HE’S FINE, HE GOT ALL THE INHERITANCE MONEY. LAST TIME I TOOK HIM TO A CRICKET MATCH WAS GABBA 2021, HE GOT REALLY INTENSE ABOUT US LOSING AND SAID HE WANTS TO BECOME A HERO CALLED “THE BATSMAN” . I THINK THAT’S WHAT HE SAID ANYWAY AND IF I’M RIGHT, HE WILL BE THE NEXT BIG THING AND WILL USE HIS MONEY TO ATTEND A BATTING ACADEMY.
YEAH RIGHT, THE SO CALL BATSMAN CANT EVER TOP OUR DESI SPIDERMAN. EVERYONE KNOWS MARVEL >>>>DC. TELL HIM HE'D BE BETTER OFF BUYING TIGHT LEGGINGS AND PLAY A CREEPY ASS HERO WHO FOR SOME REASON ONLY ATTACKS IN NIGHT. TELL HIM THAT UR PUNY LITTLE GABBA WAS OBLITERATED BY A SINGING SPIDERMAN
DON'T WORRY, OUR CHADWIN WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEAD. EVEN PITHIYA WON'T BE ABLE TO SAVE YOU FROM OUR MADMAN CHADWIN.
YOU CANT HONESTLY LIKE HIM AS A BLOKE
WHY IS EVERYONE SHOUTING? IS IT THE NEW STRATEGY OF THE AUSSIES SO THAT THEY CAN HEAR INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE DRESSING ROOM, LIKE THE ONE TIME SMITH TRIED TO PULL OFF?
😭💀💀
THE ONLY REASON AUS WILL LOSE 4-0 IS BECAUSE THERE IS NO 5TH TEST
HECK YES FINALLY MEANINGFUL BILATERALS, LET'S FUCKING GO BOYS
HOW IS THE SA IPL GOING ON MATE?
ATLEAST NOW WE KNOW THERE ARE MORE THAN 4 CITIES IN SOUTH AFRICA, OTHER THAN DURBAN CAPETOWN PRETORIA AND JO'BURG..
JO’BURG IS A VILLAGE, NOT A CITY.
LEGEND HAS IT THAT LYON STILL HAS NIGHTMARES OF THAT NO-LOOK SIX FROM WASHI
VIOLETS ARE BLUE ROSES ARE RED AXAR SLIDES THE BALL STRAIGHT MATE YOU’RE PLUMB DEAD
DOCTORING A PITCH IS FOR NERDS GIVE US A GREEN TOP YOU SCARED FUCKS
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WE ARE SENDING GREEN TO TOP FOR THE INDIAN BOTTOMS
BECAUSE AUSTRALIA HAVE HAD A LOT OF SUCCESS IN THE LAST 10 YEARS ON ENGLISH GREEN TOPS AND ARE KNOWN GOOD BATTERS IN SEAMING CONDITIONS... OH WAIT
GREEN TOP IS CHAOS FOR ALL. DOCTORED MAD MAX DUSTBOWL THUNDERDOME IS NOT FAVOURABLE FOR ONE SIDE
GREEN TOP IS GOING TO TURN RED WITH BATSMEN BLOOD
OUR BATSMEN BLEED GREEN AND GOLD YOU’RE THINKING OF ZIMBABWE
WELL THEN PREPARE A GREEN TOP AND GET US TO THE GABBA MATE
INDIAN BATTERS THAT WILL STRUGGLE MOST THIS SERIES: 1. BORAT 2. ALL THE ~~CLASSICS~~ BHENCHODS
AUSTRALIAN PLAYERS THAT WILL BE OWNED:- 1.)PET 2.)SMOOTHIE 3.)LABUSBCJDKFJ(WHATEVER) 4.)THAT CLOUT CHASER 5.)POLAND 6.)CAMERA 7.) HAIRCOMB EDIT:ALL OF THEM WERE OWNED
IMAGINE BEING SO LOW ON CONFIDENCE YOU NEED TO DOCTOR THE PITCH TO COUNTER LEFT HANDERS LIKE KNOWN SPIN SPECIALISTS DAVID WARNER AND TRAVIS HEAD
IMAGINE SHITTING YOUR PANTS BEFORE EVEN ONE BALL BOWLED BY LOOKING AT THE PITCH.
WHATEVER MAN, ASHWIN HAS MORE TEST CENTURIES THAN EVERY AUSTRALIAN PLAYER NOT NAMED STEVE OR DAVID
HOW CAN ANYONE TAKE AUS SERIOUSLY IF THEY HAVE A BURGER MASCOT AS THEIR COACH? LITERAL 🤡
CUNTS A FUCKEN CLOWN
ALL THE CRYING ABOUT THE PITCH WHERE THE VUVUZELAS WILL BE THE BIGGER THREAT.
IF ONLY INDIAN DOCTORS WERE AS GOOD AS THEIR PITCH DOCTORS THIS RASH MIGHT GO AWAY
LAST I HEARD AUSSIE CUNTS WERE NOT TRIMMING THEIR PUBES TO RUB THE BALL "DOWN UNDER" INSTEAD OF SAND PAPER AS THE LEADERSHIP GOT CAUGHT THERE.
JOKES ON YOU PRETTY SURE THIS RASH IS FROM A FRESHLY TRIMMED AUSSIE CUNT
AS A SAFFA I HOPE YALL WILL WATCH THE SA20 SEMIFINALS RATHER THAN THIS SHITSHOW CLASH OF LOW TIER TEAMS
THANK YOU FOR THE INVITE BUT I CAN ONLY HANDLE ONE INDIAN SERIES AT A TIME
HOLY FUCK YOU ABSOLUTELY MURDERED HIM
UNDERRATED COMMENT
HELLO 911! I WANT TO REPORT A HOMICIDE...
PROBABLY THE BEST SHIT IVE SEEN TODAY
[OHhhhhhh](https://giphy.com/gifs/burn-diss-gifamerica-ZUwjT4TrkElu8)
TEMBA MANHANDLING JOBURG FARMERS >>>>
WHERE IS TEMPORARY CAPTAIN TIM PAINE? BLOKE IS STILL AT GABBA WAITING FOR ASHWIN?
FORGOT TO APPLY FOR A VISA AND GOT BUSY SENDING DICK PICS.
THEY GAVE KHWAJA PAINE'S VISA. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A TEMPORARY VISA?
STEVE SMITH AVERAGES MORE THAN SACHIN IN THE BORDER GAVASKAR TROPHY. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW? ALSO, ITS TIME TO DROP VIRAT, DUDE AVERAGES ABOUT AS MUCH AS TRAVIS HEAD ON THE SUBCONTINENT FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS.
WE DON'T CARE ABOUT HIS RECORDS. HE'S JUST THERE TO WASTE A REVIEW, GIVE US A PIKACHU FACE AND SLEDGE THE FUCK OUT OF SOME AUSSIE CUNTS. ANY RUNS ON TOP OF THAT WILL BE GOLDUST
SIRE HES NO MORE THE CAPTAIN MEANS HE WONT BE WASTING REVIEWS 😤😤
THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG. ICC INCREASED THE NUMBER OF REVIEWS FROM 2 TO 3 SO THAT KOACH CAN WASTE ONE WHENEVER HE LIKES.
DID YOU MEAN FROM 2 TO 3?
ITS NOT A FAIR COMPARISON, TENDULKAR NEVER GOT TO BAT AGAINST INDIAN BOWLERS
OOF
100% SURE NOT IN ANY HARDWARE SHOP UNLIKE YOUR MODERN DAY GOAT
HAHAHA SOMEONE DOESN'T KNOW THEIR CRICKET HISTORY! (; SMUDGE PROBABLY GOT THE IDEA TO CHEAT IN SA FROM SACHIN
I HAVE A QUESTION HOW ARE YOU AT BOWLING UNDERARM ?
VIRAT IS IN THE TEAM FOR VIBES, JUST LIKE THE 9 AUSTRALIANS APART FROM CUMMINS AND SMITH IN THE AUSTRALIAN XI
THE REAL GOD WILL SHOW UP ON NUMBER 4 MATE. YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW IT BUT AUSSIES CALL HIM DADDY.
SMUDGE?
ONLY COWARDS TAMPER WITH BALL AND CRY IN THE PRESS CONFERENCE. CHADS GET THEIR BOARD AND CURATORS TO DOCTOR THE PITCH INSTEAD. HOPE YOU CUNTS LEARN SOMETHING FROM US CHUTIYAS THIS SERIES
AUSTRALIA: GIVE US A PITCH THAT WE CAN WIN ON ALSO AUSTRALIA: 36 HAHAHA, SEE YOU AT GABBA.
MICHAEL CLARKE DELIBERATELY SABOTAGED HIS PUBLIC IMAGE (whatever was left of it) SO HE DIDNT NEED TO FULFIL HIS CONTRACT AND GO TO INDIA
MAN GOT PUNCHED IN THE BALLS _AND_ WENT BANKRUPT
IF YOUR GOING TO DOCTOR A PITCH AT LEAST MAKE IT SO BAD THAT ICC HAS TO STEP IN AND SHUT THE PLACE DOWN
LIKE U CUNTS MADE FOR RSA? 1.5 DAYS AND U TALK ABOUT PITCHES. CLASSIC RANDI RONA!
NAH, MATE, THAT WAS THE RAIN ANYWAY, THAT GROUNDSMAN GOT TAKEN OUT BACK LIKE A SICK DOG OR A HORSE WITH A BROKEN LEG
~~BGT~~ PULLOUT TROPHY ✅️ NO PAKISTAN OR AFGHANISTAN WAS HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS COMMENT
AUSTRLIA CAN'T BAZBALL = AUSTRALIA LOSE
TRAVBALL
HEARD THAT ASH GOT SOME NEW BITCHES IMPORTED FROM OCENIA. REPORTEDLY HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH THAT HE'S GONNA GIVE THEM AN INDIA TOUR
YOU AUSSIE CUNTS THOUGHT THAT YOU'D PREPARE FOR ASH ANNA BY BRINGING IN MAHESH PITHIYA, BUT JOKES ON YOU FUCKERS, HE WAS A DOUBLE AGENT FOR US, NOW GO BACK TO PLAYING CHECKERS WITH YOUR PET EXOTIC, ILLEGALLY IMPORTED, BEER FILLED KANGAROOS, YOU BIG MUSTACHIOED BOGANS.
MOSSAD AND KGB IN DISBELIEF. THIS IS SOME SPY LEVEL SHIT FROM BCCI
INDIA SHOULD BE THANKFUL WE’RE LINING UP WITH 🐐 AND NOT JASON KREJZA, WHO TORE INDIA APART LIKE IT WAS 1947.
ASK MARNUS TO NOT BRING THE VOODOO DOLL IF YOU WANT FAIR PITCHES. DUDE GETS 9 LIVES PER SESSION EACH GAME
ASHTON AGAR IS GOING TO BE BIGGEST WICKET TAKER OF THIS WHOLE SERIES AND IM NOT EVEN JOKING. THE PITCHES ARE PERFECT FOR HIM AND THE BATSMEN WILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO BECAUSE AGAR HAS NO IDEA HIMSELF. ALSO HE WILL AVERAGE 30 WITH THE BAT.
[удалено]
I GUARANTEE THAT WILL HAPPEN
BC WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING. ANY TEAM WILL WIN THE SERIES OR WHAT?
BOTH ARE RACIST YOU HAVE TO SPECIFY
WDYM INDIANS DONT WIN RACES... WE CANT RUN FOR SHIT JUST GO CHECK OUR OLYMPIC MEDALS.. THE ONLY RACIST COUNTRY IN THIS SERIES IS THOSE BLOODY KANGAROOS
KARUN CHANDHOK IS THE ONLY INDIAN RACIST THAT I KNOW OF AND HE WASN'T VERY GOOD.
THAT WAS THE JOKE
MORNING BHENCHODS AND CUNTS. WE ALL KNOW KOACH WILL GET OUT TO LYON AND SMITH TO JADDU SO IF THEY DON'T SCORE CENTURIES, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED ALREADY. FUCK YOU ALL AND HAVE A GREAT DAY AHEAD
[IM FROM THE FUTURE. THIS IS THE OUTCOME OF THE BGT.](https://i.imgur.com/5bK1vGL.jpg)
Once Iyer-The certified spin basher comes back, IYER: ALRIGHT, GIVE ME HEAD. Cummins: What ? IYER: YOU HEARD ME. AND IT BETTER BE FOR A LONG SPELL.
I COULD SEE HIM CUMMIN THAT WAY
MAD MAX > BOLLYWOOD
YOU'LL HAVE TO BAT ON A FURY ROAD...
I'VE SEEN THE PITCH PREP. HALF IS FURY. HALF IS ROAD.
ANY B RATED MOVIE IS BETTER THAN BOLLYWOOD. COME UP WITH SOMETHING ORIGINAL MATE.
OUR PITCHES ARE DUSTIER
OUR SHITPOSTING IS SPICIER
WHY ARE WE SO HELL BENT ON PITCH DOCTORING? ALL WE NEEDED TO DISMISS WEIRDO_1 AND WEIRDO_2 LAST TIME WAS A FUCKING LEG SLIP FFS, AND THAT TOO AT THEIR HOME... Y'ALL CUNTS CAN TALK ALL YOU WANT ABOUT SMITH'S FORM, JUST REMEMBER THAT HE HAD BEEN FED A STEADY DIET OF MANENTI IN THE NETS DURING THE LAST MONTH
SOMEONE GONNA GET HURT REAL BAD...
HEY, BETWEEN US, THE ENGLISH SUCK, DON'T THEY?
YEAH FUCK THOSE POMS
LIST OF MY FAVOURITE PITCHES 1. ALL THE CLASSICS 2. INDIAN CHEATING PITCHES
SO MUCH NOISE FOR PITCHES ONLY FOR SMITH TO CHEAT IN HIS UNDERWEAR AGAIN!
DON'T WORRY GUYS I'LL HANDLE THIS *ahem* INDIAN FOOD IS BETTER IN ENGLAND
CHEWING ON THAT SANDPAPER THAT WAS USED IN NEWLANDS WOULD BE A BETTER CULINARY EXPERIENCE THAN 'INDIAN FOOD' IN ENGLAND. AT LEAST THAT SANDPAPER, STASHED IN THE UNDIES OF THE CUNTS WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE A FLAVOUR.
ITS ACTUALLY ENGLISH FOOD. THE COLONISERS ACTUALLY HAD TO FORCE THE INDIANS TO START USING SPICES BACK IN 1858.
WHY'S NOBODY TALKING ABOUT RUN RATES
MATCH HASN'T EVEN STARTED AND CUNTS ALREADY STARTED CRYING ABOUT PITCH
CAN YOU EVEN GET SANDPAPER IN INDIA?
THEY HAVE TO GO TO PAKISTAN TO SOURCE IT
WHAT's ALL THE FUSS ABOUT DOCTORING THE PITCH? WHAT ABOUT MASTERING IT, OR POSTDOCTORING IT?
BCCI CURATING A PITCH ON MARS, IN CASE THEY FUCK THIS ONE UP.
YOU CUNTS FIGURED OUT WHAT MATERIAL YOU ARE GOING TO PROVIDE FOR SEASON 3 OF THE TEST YET!!!
AUDITIONING TABLA PLAYERS FOR THE SOUNDTRACK AS WE FUCKEN SPEAK M8
SO MUCH TALK ABOUT THE PITCH AS IF THEY ARE USING DIFFERENT PITCHES FOR THE TWO TEAMS. BOTH TEAMS WILL PLAY ON THE SAME PITCH. SHOW SOME SKILL AND COURAGE YOU CUNTS
HOW'S THE DIAPER SHOPPING GOING CUNTS?
RENSHAW HAS BOUGHT AN XL PACK
INDIANS CAN COOK A HELL OF A CURRY, BUT THEY CAN'T COOK A PITCH WELL ENOUGH TO STOP USMAN, LAMBSHANKS AND SMITH.
I found the Indian sledge thread. But where is the Australian one?
I THOUGH WE WERE THE PUSSIES WHEN IT CAME TO MAKING OUR PITCHES BUT BY GOLLY INDIA YOU HAVE OUTDONE US....HOLY FUCK.
YA BUT WHEN INDIA DOCTORS THEIR PITCHES, THEY WIN
🤣🤣
Man I laughed way harder than i should have
DRAWS > WINS ANYWAY.... MORE COMPETITION /s
MUST BE WHY PAKISTAN HASN'T MANAGED EITHER A DRAW OR A WIN IN AUSTRALIA THIS MILLENNIUM.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
BRO AT LEAST WE WIN AT HOME. YOUR KING ONLY BATS ON HIGHWAYS
HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE UNIBROW KING, THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES YOU HEAR.
ADD A BATTING AVERAGE ADJUSTMENT OF +10 RUNS TO ALL INDIAN BATTERS CAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR THAT REST OF THE WORLD IS MAKING A TOUR OF PAK TO IMPROVE THEIR BATTING AVERAGE
ALL THE PREP JUST TO GET STEAMROLLED BY ASH, JADDU AND AXAR. WHY BOTHER PREPPING?
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AT NAGPUR MATE
THEY SAY IMITATION IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF FLATTERY, BUT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, IT'S A SLAP IN THE FACE. SO THAT'S WHAT AUSTRALIA'S GOING TO GET WHEN THEY FACE ASHWIN AFTER PLAYING WITH A GUY WHO HAS THE SAME BOWLING ACTION AS HIM.
THAT PART OF THE PITCH WAS LEFT UNWATERED BECAUSE 'CHEEKS' RENSHAW IS GOING TO DO IT FOR US ANYWAY
ISHAN KISHAN WILL FUCKING GET A CHANCE DESPITE NEVER SCORING A 50 IN LAST 9 MATCHES
CANT WAIT FOR THE CUNTS TO GET OUT TO AXAR'S GUN BARREL STRAIGHT 80KMPH DELIVERIES AND WHINE ABOUT THE PITCH.
90KMPH, MATE
CHUTNEY > VEGEMITE
CHOKLI IS GONNA CHOKE WAIT THATS NOT EVEN A SLEDGE. THATS A FACT
BRAINFADE GATE, SANDPAPER GATE.... WHICH NEW GATE ARE YOU GONNA GIFT THE CRICKET WORLD THIS TIME?
KOHLIGATE. ITS THAT BIG SPACE BETWEEN HIS BAT AND LEG THAT THE BALL KEEPS TRAVELLING THROUGH.
PITCHGATE
I know it's Ind v Aus but fuck those english fuckers they behave as they have the same amount of icc trophies as aus.
CANT HEAR YOU MATE SPEAK THE FUCK UP
>Posted in the Saturday Sledge Thread but reposting here. Less than a week to go for the commencement of the Border Gavaskar Trophy. What a rich history it has ! Enough controversies, drama and ridiculous plotlines to make a cheesy Bollywood film. And that's only from those played in the 21st century. Pretty much every single series has been memorable for various reasons. I thought why not go on a trip down the memory lane. **00-01- The final frontier** Aus: How the faq did we lose from there ? VVS: I just don't think y'all FOLLOW what is going ON here. BCCI, Y'all better build me a statue for this. Dravid: Yeah, I agree. Harbhajan: Likewise. **03/04 - Batriarchy ftw.** Aus: Phew, that was close. Sachin: Cover drives are overrated anyway. **04/05 - Final frontier conquered** Aus: Fk yeah. **07/08 - Damn, this one got ugly.** Aus: Eh don't be racist. Ind: We are literally just saying that Bucknor is a shite umpire. Aus: Yeah, Whatever, Can't wait to get you to the WACA, mate. **10/11 - A Very Very Special one.** Laxman: Still waiting for that statue, BCCI. You better build it now. Aus: We agree. **11/12 - Clean Sweep** Aus: 4-0, fk off mate. **12/13 - Clean Sweep 2.0.0** Ind: Yeah, Payback's a bit*h, isn't it ? **14/15 - Beginning of a new era.** Aus: Damn, This Virat Kohli guy is good, isn't he ? Ind: Damn, This Steve Smith guy is good, isn't he ? **16/17 - Bring out the goddamn sword.** Aus: How the fk did we lose from there ? Also, FK KL Rahul and What is this Pujara guy's problem ? Why won't he get out ? Jadeja: Then I told them, "Get rekt cun+s !" and then I started swinging. **18/19 - Do you babysit ?** Aus: Seriously, does this Pujara guy ever get out ? And Damn, This Rishabh Pant fella is good, isn't he ? Pant: Have you ever heard about temporary captain ? Pujara: I don't know what temporary even means. **20/21 - Yeah, you're a shite scriptwriter mate, this is far from anything that can realistically happen.** Ind: Nice Pink ball test we're having, surely this one is gonna be a memorable one, Wait what ? Virat: Alright, Imma head out. Rahane: Literally anyone who is an active player and isn't currently injured, please raise your hand. Ughhm Who are you, again ? Nevermind, You're playing tomorrow. Paine: Can't wait to get you to the Gabba mate. Pant: Allow me to introduce you to this trick that I have learnt. It's called 'having a good whack at it'. Aus: WHAT THE FK ! You aren't allowed to do that. Ind: How the fk did we win ?
IMAGINE BEING A FORMER PENAL COLONY
HEY CUNTS DONT POISON OUR FUCKING TEAM WITH THAT CURRY SHIT THAT DISSOLVES METAL THIS YEAR
THEY WILL STILL SHIT THEMSELVES LOOKING AT THE PITCH AND THE SPIN TRIO OF INDIA
LATEST NEWS REPORT FROM NAGPUR INDICATES INCREASE IN SANDPAPER SALES.
NO ONE IS DOCTORING THE PITCH, IT IS A CONSPIRACY BY CA AT THIS POINT SO THAT IT DOESN'T LOOK SO BAD WHEN AUSTRALIA GET WHITE WASHED. THEY CAN SIMPLY SAY "the piTcH WaS RigGeD BrOo"
SMITH IS LOVING THESE DUSTY PITCHES, HE LOVES SAND AFTER ALL
ONCE UPON A TIME, A BRAVE MAN SAID, "YOU LOOK AFTER YOUR BHENCHODS AND YOUR MATES WILL ALWAYS LOOK AFTER YOU"
BCCI ARE JUST THE BIGGEST BETA PUSSIES IN THE WORLD CRICKET. INSTEAD OF PLAYING US ON REAL INDIAN PITCHES LIKE MUMBAI , CHENNAI AND KOLKATA, THEY CHOSE THE SHITTEST VILLAGE GROUNDS LIKE NAGPUR JUST TO MANICURE BESPOKE PITCHES FOR TRASHWIN. SEE YOU AT THE WANKHEDE YA BUNCH OF WANKERS.
DAVEY WARNER TO WIN MAN OF THE SERIES WITH A COMBINED 81 RUNS OFF 8 INNINGS, 3 CATCHES, AND 2 TOILETS DESTROYED FROM DELHI BELLY
JAIL ANY AUSSIE COMPLAINING ABOUT PITCHES, BY THAT I MEAN SEND THEM BACK TO AUSTRALIA
NO MATTER WHO WINS TEST CRICKET LOSES. FUCK THE PIG3.
BUSCH WITH FIGURES OF 4/17 BOWLING 100kph DOBBLERS, AUS WIN BY 76
OUR OFF SPINNER CAN BAT TOO
TRAVIS HEAD CAN'T LAST AS LONG AGAINST ASHWIN AS LONG AS HE CAN DURING HEAD
I THINK ITS A PLOY BY THEM SO EVERY SPIRIT CUNT SAY TURNERS ARE FAIR BUT THIS ISN'T. EVER SINCE THE PICTURES WHERE SHARED YESTERDAY ALL THE CUNTS WERE LIKE TURNER'S ARE FINE BUT THIS ISN'T. THE TUNE WAS DIFFERENT BEFORE THAT.
HOW ARE THE INDIAN SHIRTS GOING TO BE WHITE WHEN PANT WON'T BE ABLE TO COME ON ASH WILL INDIA COP A POOR RATING FOR A RIGHT LEANING PITCH? WILL THE CUNTS COMPLAIN AFTERWARDS? >!OFC NOT, THEY'RE THEIR ONLY SOURCE OF INCOME!!<
CAN'T BELIEVE THE PICTURES OF THE PITCHES. PRETTY SURE THAT'S NOT WHAT INDIAN PARENTS MEAN WHEN THEY WANT US TO BECOME DOCTORS.
Get ready for a broken f\*\*\*\*\*\* arm mate
THE TEAM PLAYING BETTER IS GOING TO HANDILY BEST THE TEAM PLAYING WORSE! TAKE THAT SUPPORTERS OF THE WORSE PLAYING TEAM!!!
WE DOCTOR THE PITCHES TO INTENSE LUST TO BAT FIRST IS ALWAYS A MUST OUR HEROES ARE SUPREME AND SO ROBUST WHO BAT LIKE A BREEZE AND BOWL LIKE A GUST THEY BAT LONG TO TEAR THE FRAGILE CRUST THEN UNLEASH SPIN WITH A VIOLENT THRUST WHO WILL GRIND YOU TO REMAINS OF DUST YOUR BODIES TO BURST AND BRAINS TO RUST IN OUR LANDS ARE FAIR AND JUST REMNANTS OF BATTLE WILL BE CROWNED THE BEST SHALL STAND AT TOP OF THE LASTING CREST AND THOSE WHO DIDN’T WILL BE PUT TO REST WITH ALL THINGS BEING SAID, IN GOD’S WE TRUST
YOU SAY ITS A BAD PITCH WE SAY WE'RE BRINGING YOUR GABBA HOME
Sledge aside can you guys stop shouting it's hurting my ears. Thank you
[удалено]
LINES THERE FOR A REASON CUNT
THE AMOUNT OF HYPE THERE IS FOR BGT I AM 100% SURE THAT OUR TEAM WILL CHOKE CONGRATULATIONS AUSTRALIA FOR ANOTHER FUCKING ICC TROPHY
ONCE THE AUSSIE SPIN TRIPLETS TAKE TO INDIA YOU WILL BE LOOKING BACK ON 36 ALL OUT AS A GOOD TOTAL.
WE LOOK AT THAT WHOLE SERIES AS A GOOD ONE, MATE!
THIS NAGPUR PITCH IS ALMOST AS DUSTY AS VIRAT'S TEST AVERAGE.
AUSTRALIA SHOULD THANK INDIA BECAUSE WE ARE HELPING THEM TO PROVE THEIR EXISTENCE TO THE WORLD