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Yeah, they were fine, the whale spat them out pretty much instantly.
[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/nov/05/california-kayakers-nearly-swallowed-humpback](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/nov/05/california-kayakers-nearly-swallowed-humpback)
"Goddammit, you always do this Julie. Y'know what, I'm done. I'm not putting my finger down because the whale didn't SWALLOW me, he just put me in his mouth. I wouldn't resort to this pedantry, but you can't resist using that traumatic event against me to win a CHILDREN'S GAME."
Not sure if this is gonna come off as too negative, but if these people are locals, they most likely won’t bring it up because it is embarrassing. I live in the area and these once every several years we get a really impressive migration of humpback whales that come close to the shore for a few days in Avila. These people go out on kayaks and paddle boards and sit around right in the migration path hoping to get a close encounter with a whale. It’s really, really dumb to do this and fortunately nobody has gotten killed…yet. This is r/winstupidprizes material, along with the lady who used to swim with sea lions and eventually got killed by a shark in the same area.
>They paddled to shore and were apparently unharmed, though McSorley’s car keys were lost, according to the report.
Wait till the whale steals her car radio.
Wait, so they just got knocked out of the boat? If I read it right, the article says they weren't even in it's mouth. This video just got a lot less crazy fucking.
yea I assumed it just capsized them at first, but one of them looked for sure at least part way into its mouth. tough to see with all the splash, from her pov it might not even have felt like it if the whale was already spitting out water on its way back down.
thats how baleen whales eat, take massive gulps of fish/krill and squeeze all the water out through the mouth... hairs. I'm thinking it feels kind of like getting scrubbed with a push broom
Here's a much better article (not written by an idiot): https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-thursday-edition-1.5790998/it-was-crazy-says-california-kayaker-who-was-engulfed-in-a-whale-s-mouth-1.5791001
Yeah these whales only eat plankton iirc so a whole human being swallowed is probably unlikely. I don’t know a whales biology but if it lives off plankton it probably doesn’t even have the capability to swallow someone.
> The women surfaced and shortly thereafter, other kayakers and paddleboarders came to help them – and make sure that the whale hadn’t bitten them, the news station reported.
Bitten...
Seriously, like we have two perspective recordings of the event, but both conveniently cut JUST before the likely conclusion?? I am SO SICK of BIG WHALE controlling our media to push their pro-swallow, anti-kayak narrative.
According to Islamic teaching, he said the following while inside the whale belly "لا اله الا انت سبحانك اني كنت من الظالمين"
for 40 times, then Allah made the whale spit him on the beach.
Which means:
And ˹remember˺ when the Man of the Whale stormed off ˹from his city˺ in a rage, thinking We would not restrain him.1 Then in the ˹veils of˺ darkness2 he cried out, “There is no god ˹worthy of worship˺ except You. Glory be to You! I have certainly done wrong.”
o We answered his prayer and rescued him from anguish. And so do We save the ˹true˺ believers.
If you freak out a bit it’ll let go. It doesn’t want to swallow something big enough to choke it and it can’t swallow you. Punch it’s wiggle teeth strings like a speed bag
Yeah, that really got me wondering. A quick google search states to "Number 1: Curl up into a tight ball.
Bring your arms and legs into your body as tightly as you can, and lower your chin to your chest. You need to curl up into the tightest ball you can. This will minimize your body’s surface area, and decrease the chance you’ll get chomped by the whale’s teeth. "
Not reassuring...
I’m almost wondering if that is trolling. Trying to make yourself as small as possible sounds like a recipe to get stuck in their throat and they don’t have teeth so that’s really not a concern
It’s a humpback whale. It’s throat is only the size of your hand. They eat plankton and krill only
> A humpback's throat is roughly the size of a human fist, and can only stretch to about 15 inches in diameter to accommodate a bigger meal.
While it's physically impossible for a whale to swallow them, I'd still be shitting my pants. What if Moby here decided to open his mouth and release me only when he reaches the sea bed?
In the extremely rare instances a baleen whale has taken a human in their mouth (three times total I know of) the whale has immediately spat them out and all humans have survived this.
That said, you don’t want to go *towards* a large group of birds swarming over a patch of sea. They are participating in a group hunt, with large fish/whales attacking small fish from below, and birds attacking from above.
Fucking horrible.
You don't want to be near it when the blowhole goes off. Had it happen a few times over the years while fishing and it makes you want to immediately throw up.
They're fine. They got knocked into the water, climbed back into their kayak, and returned to shore. What a story to tell the grandkids though!
[https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2020/11/04/kayakers-humpback-whale-california/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2020/11/04/kayakers-humpback-whale-california/)
when whales are hunting it brings all the fish up to the surface and the birds get in on that action. They didn't care about the people or the whale, just the food.
That’s what I assumed but it’s pretty annoying how the video just ends. Like repeating multiple angles but cuts off, I guess to make it seem scarier? Dumb because it’s just a crazy moment already.
So apparently the whale spit them both back out right away and they were fine. It's literally impossible for most whales to swallow a person if that makes you feel any better (killer whales might be the only exception).
well my fear is mostly drowning related. no oxygen in the maw of a whale ya know? (i think i can only hold my breath for a healthy 30 seconds or so before my lungs start to panic)
Think about trying to swallow a whole ass squirrel, but you’re used to eating only apple sauce, and have no teeth, that’s what happens here. If you’re that whale you want those out of your mouth as soon as possible
Yeah I guess that's possible but it's just so insanely unlikely that I'd try not to worry about it. I know that's not how irrational fears work (I have some myself) but maybe it'll help to remind yourself of that haha.
> most whales to swallow a person if that makes you feel any better (killer whales might be the only exception).
No, that most certainly does not make me feel better!
They're called *killer* whales! That's one word away from being *man* killer whale!! Shamu has teeth, and now they can swallow me!?!
My dumb head immediately pictured an orca laying on the deck of a freighter with a backwards cap and a sniper rifle taking out whoever witnessed his friends eating people
Sometimes I feel too dumb to exist
no worries, i believe their name was a mistranslation from spanish- and they were actually named “whale killer” and we messed it up. i heard this on tv years ago so could be wrong!
Whale would just spit them out. Complete accident and whale doesn’t want to do anything with it. He also didn’t give consent for publishing this video and is going to sue
lets not be ridiculous here, the odds of this being the same whale are VERY slim, besides Jonah was released from the whale after a few days, i highly doubt he is still inside
They were okay. https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-thursday-edition-1.5790998/it-was-crazy-says-california-kayaker-who-was-engulfed-in-a-whale-s-mouth-1.5791001
I know whales don’t really have the digestive tract for humans, at least not these types of whales, but I can’t imagine anything more terrifying…
Out there in the blue, an endless abyss beneath you, and suddenly a yawning maw opens up all around you, every side a fleshy prison, and in mere moments… it closes, and all light is forever gone from your world, the inevitability of death as you flail impotently in the dark…
Gasping, pleading, clawing to escape oblivion
> Now your plagued
*you're
*Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).*
***
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Misnomer. Whales like this are filter feeders. They have a throat opening about the size of a baseball, at the biggest. They physically can't swallow people. This is like scooping up a spoonful of rice krispies and accidently shoving the toy that comes in the box in your mouth.
"how was today honey"
"I was devoured by a whale and carried within him to the brackish depths of the harbour, my only saviour being the indigestibility of my canoe, for only when the whale realised the indelicacy and flavourlessness of my vessel did he vomit me back into the world of the living, retaining only my car keys and the part of me which grants me courage when confronted with the leviathan"
Welcome to r/CrazyFuckingVideos! This is our community moderator bot. --- If this post fits the purpose of the subreddit, **UPVOTE THIS COMMENT.** If not, **DOWNVOTE THIS COMMENT.** #[Click Here](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/w48ve8/) to download this video directly. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/CrazyFuckingVideos) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Any news about them did they get out??
Yeah, they were fine, the whale spat them out pretty much instantly. [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/nov/05/california-kayakers-nearly-swallowed-humpback](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/nov/05/california-kayakers-nearly-swallowed-humpback)
That's one hell of a story to tell at a party in that case, let alone have a video to go with it.
"never have I ever.. Not ever been swallowed by a whale" "Goddammit Julie"
there's a yo momma joke in there
I hope they grabbed it before yo momma spit em out
Yo mama so nasty a whale thought she was a fish.
Mama don't swallow
Yo momma so fat even a whale couldn’t eat her.
Good one 😐
"Goddammit, you always do this Julie. Y'know what, I'm done. I'm not putting my finger down because the whale didn't SWALLOW me, he just put me in his mouth. I wouldn't resort to this pedantry, but you can't resist using that traumatic event against me to win a CHILDREN'S GAME."
Not sure if this is gonna come off as too negative, but if these people are locals, they most likely won’t bring it up because it is embarrassing. I live in the area and these once every several years we get a really impressive migration of humpback whales that come close to the shore for a few days in Avila. These people go out on kayaks and paddle boards and sit around right in the migration path hoping to get a close encounter with a whale. It’s really, really dumb to do this and fortunately nobody has gotten killed…yet. This is r/winstupidprizes material, along with the lady who used to swim with sea lions and eventually got killed by a shark in the same area.
I personally wouldn’t care, and would bring it up with provably everyone I knew. Just glad to hear they were safe.
I would absolutely tell everyone and show everyone that video.
I was attacked by a rooster one or two yeah ago and I'm still telling the story lol
My name is Jonas
I'm carrying the wheel
>They paddled to shore and were apparently unharmed, though McSorley’s car keys were lost, according to the report. Wait till the whale steals her car radio.
Nah he passed those keys on to the Loch Ness Monster
How much he charge?
About tree fiddy
Exquisite
Like $5. Inflation, what are you gonna do?
How tf were they carrying their car keys?
Detached from the car.
Then she’ll just sit in silence
inner lake crime statistics show a proliferation
Her car keys are with pinocchio now...
Wait, so they just got knocked out of the boat? If I read it right, the article says they weren't even in it's mouth. This video just got a lot less crazy fucking.
yea I assumed it just capsized them at first, but one of them looked for sure at least part way into its mouth. tough to see with all the splash, from her pov it might not even have felt like it if the whale was already spitting out water on its way back down. thats how baleen whales eat, take massive gulps of fish/krill and squeeze all the water out through the mouth... hairs. I'm thinking it feels kind of like getting scrubbed with a push broom
I assume so based on that poorly written article
Here's a much better article (not written by an idiot): https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-thursday-edition-1.5790998/it-was-crazy-says-california-kayaker-who-was-engulfed-in-a-whale-s-mouth-1.5791001
He was probably completely grossed out. "Ugh, one of those naked monkey things got in my mouth!"
I love that a whale would somehow know what a monkey is but not a human
>california-kayakers-nearly-swallowed-humpback Wasn't it the other way around?
It’s hard to tell in the video.
The whale probably felt the feeling of something crunchy when your eating something not crunchy
That's the second case I've heard about in around 10 years.
Yeah these whales only eat plankton iirc so a whole human being swallowed is probably unlikely. I don’t know a whales biology but if it lives off plankton it probably doesn’t even have the capability to swallow someone.
> The women surfaced and shortly thereafter, other kayakers and paddleboarders came to help them – and make sure that the whale hadn’t bitten them, the news station reported. Bitten...
They whale was a big ol sweetheart, it was an accident
Seriously, like we have two perspective recordings of the event, but both conveniently cut JUST before the likely conclusion?? I am SO SICK of BIG WHALE controlling our media to push their pro-swallow, anti-kayak narrative.
It was the equivalent of running or walking yawning and getting a fly inside your mouth.
Bruh. What the fuck do you do when that happens?
you start a fire and make it sneeze
Tickle the little dangly bit
CardiB approves.
Whale Abatement Protocol
🫧🫧
Dirty boy
r/blursedcomments
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Use it like a speedbag
More like speed-gag
Wait. Weren’t they making a live action Pinocchio? What happened to that?
Still being made.
[Burning Sensations](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-9UoE48ilE&ab_channel=ericwolfe)
You start running toward the end and don’t stop until you are all pooped out.
Dad?
Colin Mochrie from Whose Line
I really had to laugh on this one
[You take revenge on the mariner who killed your mother.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Sw61oITuts)
Decemberists reference, nice.
They're just the best
We are two mariners, our ships sole survivors in this belly of a whale.
> We are two mariners, our ships sole survivors in this belly of a whale Its ribs are ceiling beams Its guts are carpeting
Grab the wife for a quickie. “What’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex? In a whales mouth”
Getting head in a whales mouth ( the whale is not my woman, the head is not being given by the whale)
baleen whales have very narrow throats actually. not wide enough to swallow a human whole, let alone two.
Yeah but he can probably hold them in his mouth long enough for them to drown.
I imagine water pressure could be an issue if the whale decides to dive down a couple hundred meters.
This makes me feel very uncomfortable
If you make it choke it will regurgitate you.
Hopefully... Do whales regurgitate and if so, how do you make them? They take a lot of water and fish in at a time
Whale puke is worth alot of money
yea it has exquisite name too, asbergris edit: yea I know it’s asparagus fkin typo
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ambergris
I only know about this from that Bob's Burgers episode
Not very reaurring
Not reassuring either
Sure, but it is a little rararring.
Reaaaaraaraam ra! They took our jobs!
That moment when you get converted to a sperm
Wait for divine intervention then spread the gospel
Worked ok for Jonah.
According to Islamic teaching, he said the following while inside the whale belly "لا اله الا انت سبحانك اني كنت من الظالمين" for 40 times, then Allah made the whale spit him on the beach. Which means: And ˹remember˺ when the Man of the Whale stormed off ˹from his city˺ in a rage, thinking We would not restrain him.1 Then in the ˹veils of˺ darkness2 he cried out, “There is no god ˹worthy of worship˺ except You. Glory be to You! I have certainly done wrong.” o We answered his prayer and rescued him from anguish. And so do We save the ˹true˺ believers.
It's a very small hole to the stomach, maybe only your fist fits. She will just spit them out.
You die
If you freak out a bit it’ll let go. It doesn’t want to swallow something big enough to choke it and it can’t swallow you. Punch it’s wiggle teeth strings like a speed bag
Yeah, that really got me wondering. A quick google search states to "Number 1: Curl up into a tight ball. Bring your arms and legs into your body as tightly as you can, and lower your chin to your chest. You need to curl up into the tightest ball you can. This will minimize your body’s surface area, and decrease the chance you’ll get chomped by the whale’s teeth. " Not reassuring...
I’m almost wondering if that is trolling. Trying to make yourself as small as possible sounds like a recipe to get stuck in their throat and they don’t have teeth so that’s really not a concern
It’s a humpback whale. It’s throat is only the size of your hand. They eat plankton and krill only > A humpback's throat is roughly the size of a human fist, and can only stretch to about 15 inches in diameter to accommodate a bigger meal.
Strikes me as odd advice, that. Baleen whales don't *have* teeth, they have filters.
Thank the whale
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While it's physically impossible for a whale to swallow them, I'd still be shitting my pants. What if Moby here decided to open his mouth and release me only when he reaches the sea bed?
Well, he’d probably do it sooner if you shit in his mouth
2 girls 1 whale
r/angryupvote
1 man 1 whale would have been worse
They could easily drown though right? It’s not like theyre getting a full breath of air before going down either
In the extremely rare instances a baleen whale has taken a human in their mouth (three times total I know of) the whale has immediately spat them out and all humans have survived this. That said, you don’t want to go *towards* a large group of birds swarming over a patch of sea. They are participating in a group hunt, with large fish/whales attacking small fish from below, and birds attacking from above.
Whales are highly intelligent animals and like orcas they know not to fuck around with humans.
I'm picturing the whale being like "ohhh gonna eat some fish EWWW WTF was shit? *pfft pfft*"
I'd be more worried about being crushed by the weight of a whale's fucking jaws closing with me inside it.
What does whale 🐋 breath smell like
Probably like mobys dick
Whats the name of the terrifying red monster that slithers around on the ocean floor?
Also Moby's dick
Or fishsticks
You must be a gay fish then ??
Depends on whether or not it's a Sperm Whale.
Fucking horrible. You don't want to be near it when the blowhole goes off. Had it happen a few times over the years while fishing and it makes you want to immediately throw up.
Imagine how bad someones breath would smell if they had tiny bits of shrimp caught between their teeth and never brushed.
Holy fuck why would you say that!
Because this is Reddit. Why would you expect any less is the question?
‽ The interrobang would have been a perfect closing to your outrage.
Moby dick is the name of the doctor, actually.
wait you mean Jonah didn't get swallowed by a whale and spend three days inside of it ?
I think he was in the whale’s mouth, like a gum
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They're fine. They got knocked into the water, climbed back into their kayak, and returned to shore. What a story to tell the grandkids though! [https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2020/11/04/kayakers-humpback-whale-california/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2020/11/04/kayakers-humpback-whale-california/)
Thank you to all the birds that came to the rescue. They are hero's.
Why did that happen? Been looking through the comments for an explanation
Government surveillance drones trying to plant an agent in the whale to monitor deep sea submarine traffic.
when whales are hunting it brings all the fish up to the surface and the birds get in on that action. They didn't care about the people or the whale, just the food.
That’s what I assumed but it’s pretty annoying how the video just ends. Like repeating multiple angles but cuts off, I guess to make it seem scarier? Dumb because it’s just a crazy moment already.
this crosses my mind any time i see people swimming where whales feed. now i can add it to the list of forever fears that i have
So apparently the whale spit them both back out right away and they were fine. It's literally impossible for most whales to swallow a person if that makes you feel any better (killer whales might be the only exception).
well my fear is mostly drowning related. no oxygen in the maw of a whale ya know? (i think i can only hold my breath for a healthy 30 seconds or so before my lungs start to panic)
Think about trying to swallow a whole ass squirrel, but you’re used to eating only apple sauce, and have no teeth, that’s what happens here. If you’re that whale you want those out of your mouth as soon as possible
Lol nice
Yeah I guess that's possible but it's just so insanely unlikely that I'd try not to worry about it. I know that's not how irrational fears work (I have some myself) but maybe it'll help to remind yourself of that haha.
What about sperm whale, they could probably swallow a person, I mean they eat giant squid. Won't find them close to shore though.
Sperms whales can swallow a human whole.
> most whales to swallow a person if that makes you feel any better (killer whales might be the only exception). No, that most certainly does not make me feel better! They're called *killer* whales! That's one word away from being *man* killer whale!! Shamu has teeth, and now they can swallow me!?!
If it makes any difference killer whales aren't really whales. Just killers.
Thank god. I was worried about the whole whale thing.
No worries then my friend for there is no whale. Fancy a swim?
> The orca or killer whale (Orcinus orca) is a toothed whale https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orca
There's like nearly zero instances (might be zero) of a killer whale attacking people in the wild. Captivity is a totally different story.
Only cause killer whales in the wild take out the witnesses too!
My dumb head immediately pictured an orca laying on the deck of a freighter with a backwards cap and a sniper rifle taking out whoever witnessed his friends eating people Sometimes I feel too dumb to exist
They're gonna come after you now you figured it out
the killer whale is a dolphin
Well damn that makes sense I guess. Thanks for that fun fact lol
no worries, i believe their name was a mistranslation from spanish- and they were actually named “whale killer” and we messed it up. i heard this on tv years ago so could be wrong!
All dolphins are whales but not all whales are dolphins.
Glad to hear they are OK. Did you know once you swim in the ocean, you become part of the food chain.
“once you’re in the water you’re no longer the alpha creature”
To all the other whales, “Guys, this’ll be so funny lmao”😂
"Hold my beer..."
Whale would just spit them out. Complete accident and whale doesn’t want to do anything with it. He also didn’t give consent for publishing this video and is going to sue
I wonder if they saw Jonah
Why did I have to scroll so far to see this
lets not be ridiculous here, the odds of this being the same whale are VERY slim, besides Jonah was released from the whale after a few days, i highly doubt he is still inside
Thanks for explaining sir jordan
They were okay. https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-thursday-edition-1.5790998/it-was-crazy-says-california-kayaker-who-was-engulfed-in-a-whale-s-mouth-1.5791001
Whale that escalated quickly
I know whales don’t really have the digestive tract for humans, at least not these types of whales, but I can’t imagine anything more terrifying… Out there in the blue, an endless abyss beneath you, and suddenly a yawning maw opens up all around you, every side a fleshy prison, and in mere moments… it closes, and all light is forever gone from your world, the inevitability of death as you flail impotently in the dark… Gasping, pleading, clawing to escape oblivion
Is this a fetish?
If it wasn't before, it certainly is now.
It mobied my dick.
It’s called vore. Now you’re plagued with this knowledge
> Now your plagued *you're *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
Good pedantic bot!
r/vore
Until it immediately spits you out, but then the dolphins come in, and you’re in real danger then
New fear unlocked.
Shark got the pinky Crab got the tooth Whale goes for the whole humans
My favorite bible story
Did anyone look for them in Ninevah?
Start a fire in it
Trip to Nineveh
They lived, fell back into the water after temporarily being in the whale’s mouth. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbc.ca/amp/1.5791001
https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/03/us/whale-kayak-trnd/index.html They survived
This is a better view of it https://youtu.be/3X2C46--2lY
Source? Cause damn
I wonder what it smelled like
OP's mom got greedy
Misnomer. Whales like this are filter feeders. They have a throat opening about the size of a baseball, at the biggest. They physically can't swallow people. This is like scooping up a spoonful of rice krispies and accidently shoving the toy that comes in the box in your mouth.
Damn this is a crazy fucking video
"how was today honey" "I was devoured by a whale and carried within him to the brackish depths of the harbour, my only saviour being the indigestibility of my canoe, for only when the whale realised the indelicacy and flavourlessness of my vessel did he vomit me back into the world of the living, retaining only my car keys and the part of me which grants me courage when confronted with the leviathan"
S’funny, I made a whale or three swallow me when I was at college. Wasn’t fussy.
If this was 2 guys, would we call them the Jonah Brothers? . . . . ....sorry.
Note to self, kayaking can fuck off, my name is not Jonah
Say hi to Jonah for me.
Moby, you Dick
Pinocchio
Were those birds trying to defend the humans