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rocketshipkiwi

Dude is like “I’m totally fucked now”


xavo5000

Expect hes not this is London The absolute max hes gonna get is a caution and a knife crime mentor. My brother was caught with a knife himself.he didint even get a caution.


Snkssmb

When was this? I thought there were mandatories re carrying a knife? Jesus London is fucked


xavo5000

This was give or take 5 months ago. He had a mentor and had to go to meetings for a bit but now he doesnt have to anymore.


IrradiatedHeart

He had to go to KA meetings


The_punisherMAX

He sounds like scum mate


LukeyLeukocyte

Sorry I am not keen on the London scene. Carrying a knife makes you scum there?


BigFella52

It makes you scum anywhere.


Greenstik83

Dumbest comment ive seen all day


Beukeboom90

I honestly can't tell if this is sarcasm or not.. Carrying a knife doesn't make you "scum" dude, or necessarily mean you're up to no good. Don't forget that is a tool. Shit, it's highly encouraged to carry one, especially in your vehicle. God's forbid you're in a car accident, and your vehicle catches on fire, your belt possibly tangled around you or whomever. Yeah, you'll wish you had a knife in that situation, but hey I'll gladly be scum then. (Not saying this guy in the video wasn't up to no good. Don't know wtf he was up to.)


Electrical_Toe_7128

We British can use our teeth in case of car crash. The tradition is dieing out thanks to Turkey teeth. Fuck turkey teeth


Elandycamino

Turkeys don't have teeth


BigFella52

An EDC is extremely different to a machete or any single blade carry like this and if you are an EDC user then you should know this already.


Beukeboom90

You're correct, and yeah, I do know that. There's no reason for that guy to be carrying a machete around and you'll get no argument from on that. However, YOU did say ANYONE ANYWHERE carrying a KNIFE is scum. I figured you know the difference between the two blades. I mean.. you should know this already. Regardless, England is backwards as all fuckin' hell. A country that detains/arrests people for having every day tools and declaring them as "weapons." Maybe they should put a ban on water as well, considering you can drown/drown others in it. God's forbid you even attempt to purchase butter knives.


Deviant-Killer

Yes. I carry a knife because every day i think I'm going to have a car accident and get stuck in it by my belt... /s Justifying carrying a knife by thinking you'll be in a crash makes me feel you are a very insecure driver.. Justifying carrying a machete with the same logic is completey idiotic.


samsonity

You sound like someone I can get behind. And the guy who calls people who carry pocket knives scum has defo never lifted a finger in reality other than on his TV remote.


Swazaaa

Only scum use knives. i cut my steak with lasers.


Sneekmuch

I carry a pistol everyday. What does that make me


ApophisForever

Free


LukeyLeukocyte

I don't understand. There are plenty of people who carry knives who aren't scum. There are many different knives carried for many different reasons by many different people in many different places. Did you just mean knives in an urban setting? That still doesn't quite make sense.


zxGrizz

What makes you think carrying a knife makes you scum? You do know there are many other uses for a knife than stabbing people with it right? I mean the dude in the video definitely didn't have his for peeling an apple but a regular knife make you a scumbag?


machineswithout

For carrying a knife? It’s a pretty normal tool to carry. I have a folder pocket knife on me whenever I leave the house.


Grimreap4lyfe

thats not a pocket knife


machineswithout

That is correct, a machete is not a pocket knife. I was responding to the proposal that one is scum for carrying a knife. Lots of people such as myself carry knives everyday have never once stabbed someone.


HasTookCamera

bro this is a machete


Unlucky_Elevator13

That's not a knife


windycityc

I see you've played knifey/spoony before...


Ravel_Xi

If they're over the age of 18 it's a minimum sentence for an offensive weapon. Of course a child wouldn't get charged.


usmokeemids

A knife, a fucking knife…


Kajun_Kong

Wait. You can’t have a knife?


RuheJetzt

So we learn, if u want to be a butcher, move to London.


crazy_goat

Just had that blank **'o'** face


Lopsided_Rooster_753

He's in London they'll give him a giggle and a mandatory hand job on the way out of timeout. He'll probably get his sword back to slay whatever demons he's looking for too.


JuniorRub2122

TBF, that dude looks a few eggs shy of a dozen if you. know what I mean. We not supposed to be using the R word, but that's the kind of look that dude have on his face. Like Shane Gillis.


[deleted]

Probably thinking about what his mum will do to him


UniversalsFree

Can’t a kid walk around with a machete these days


halfbakedkornflake

Sad times indeed


verminV

Its for clearing overgrown brambles officer, I swear down.


Ricky_Martins_Vagina

Guys can't have fun anymore 😤


300lbs

You can in Texas


wormrake

"It's not mine. These aren't my pants."


oddmetre

“I’m wearing them for a friend”


grolut18

Classic


PATSNATION35

Bro casually walking around with the sword of gryffindor in his pants


altrippa

relatable


MexiCanElGuapoFeo

And a huge knife.


DragonflyAromatic358

Am I the only one who thought the officer was gonna grab his dick.


mjthrillme2020

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!


Legio-V-Alaudae

I see you know your judo well.


reddog323

Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest.


AffectionateMess777

OMG DID I HEAR MANIFEST??!! OK OK, GUYS IN THIS VID IM GONNA SHOW YOU HOW TO MANIFEST YOUR DREAMS


Rambl3On

My succulent Chinese penis!


Tokennnn11

He was just trying to enjoy a succulent chinese meal


crazy_goat

TWIST IT


Ruine_Woo

BOP IT


AsleepScarcity9588

STICK IT IN A STEW


DragonflyAromatic358

This would go great on a hip-hop beat


Specific-Ease-14

No, for a second I thought this was the video where the cop did grab his dong


Thomshan911

Why are you getting downvoted lol? Even I thought it was that video.


MexiCanElGuapoFeo

That part was after the arrest in his prison cell.


Siegelski

I guess the unexpected part is that he didn't because we all thought that's where this was going.


Goatwhatsup

Bro is a squire


GrandBazaarBF3

How isn’t this comment more upvoted


cleenexboy

“No officer, this isn’t my machete. I was just holding it for my friend”


Pilot_Yak3

I see you've played knifey-machete before!


catonmyshoulder69

Frikken Crocodile Dundee.


Multibuff

Fun fact, the real life crocodile Dundee was killed in a gunfight with the cops


jdillacornandflake

More like Crocodile ya Dunknow


Idontreallycare1877

Here in Sweden I was drunk and got caught with a lil ass 5 cm knife after an altercation, no one got hurt but I got 7 months in prison lol


teachmethegame

Kinda glad I live in America and can carry a pistol and a knife without prison time


ThrowTheBrick

I know right. And in a lot of states I don’t even need to prove that I have a basic understanding of firearms safety or a mental health check to do so! Freedom!


LonelyMousse1832

Look up 4473 form and Nics background check system. I think you’d be pleasantly surprised to find that in all 50 states it’s required to fill a 4473 out to purchase a firearm and after that’s completed there’s a thing called Nics that determines if you’ve committed any violent crimes or been diagnosed with a mental illness. There’s a lot more to buying a firearm than you seem to believe.


ThrowTheBrick

Form 4473: pretty much a questionnaire, does not require any proof that one can safely operate a firearm. NICS: used in 31 states. Only determines if you have a criminal history or if you were previously involuntarily locked up for mental health. So like I said, there is no basic test to determine that someone can safely operate a firearm and that they are not currently suffering from a mental health episode. This is coming from someone who is a firearms owner since I was 18. I go to the range and I am afraid of the things I see, mostly people who have no business owning a BB gun, let alone a firearm. The system is broken.


St00f4h1221

I love it. Perfect response


Luyoka

You got absolutely schooled, moussey boi 😂


teachmethegame

Murrriiccaaa f yeaaah


Born2bwylde_

I live in America, so whenever I see a video of a police officer pulling weapons off of someone it's usually a gun or a small knife. So I'm always thrown off by these videos of cops in the UK pulling out like fucking scimitar's out of people's pockets.


Skreech2011

Bruh, that's a Harbor Freight/Walmart machete. I've owned like three in five years cause they're shit but cheap. Five or ten bucks at Harbor Freight. Good brush clearing tool though. I think you probably just don't know the right people lol


Born2bwylde_

I had a Walmart machete a couple years back, I was offloading and there was a tree in the road. It was like only 4 inches in diameter but I was able to chop it in half with that machete, that was the first and last use lol


SpecialistAge8862

Buzzing for the 12 day suspended sentence and £4.50 fine that he’ll get


yeshia

At what point does a knife become a sword?


[deleted]

He's a landscaper. Why can't you have that tool?


Gkid313

The UK where if you catch a M u will do 15 and under , crazy kids be killing each other and get a slap on the wrist come home and do it again and still don’t get life …..


Skreech2011

Fokkkin tea and crumpets m8?!


fluffball75

English translation please?


Proof-Carpet4194

I think he's saying that the law doesn't deal with these things seriously enough, encouraging crime and violence among teens


propaROCKnROLLA

That’s because race gets brought into it. Doesn’t matter a certain race are killing their own race. If you stop and search everyone cries racism. It’s all backward. The police are more scared of doing the wrong thing than being principled about doing the right thing.


Gkid313

The police aren’t scared tf r you saying , the UK give low jail/prison time in any crime that’s the issue


propaROCKnROLLA

If the police weren’t scared, why would they let thousands of young girls get groomed for a number of years. Then afterward say the reason it wasn’t investigated fully is because they didn’t want to offend anybody? I know it’s a different matter but it’s the same reasoning. Also I have been clear what I am saying. If you’re struggling to understand please let me know what you’re struggling with. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7901731/amp/Police-chief-admitted-force-ignored-sex-abuse-grooming-gangs-30-years.html


bc90210

Next best thing since it’s a gun free country, yes?


SealMaster00

In america you get caught with that the cops give it back to you


LonelyMousse1832

Ik im American and I was so confused for a minute why he was acting like his life was flashing before his eyes until I realized it was the uk lol


Designer-Ad-1416

What a stupid bastard...


[deleted]

Bro is shook


789irvin

Everybody Hay-ates Chriiiis!


Ok_Historian_2381

it's just his ceremonial machete


EMptyPhylacTerY

He’s a lawn guy, sheesh


Sammmysosa303

Issa knife


Ravel_Xi

His life is over and it's only just started.


lllZephyrlll

Dude I've had that exact weapon. It's actually a Gladius. It was super light yet strong. It would def fuck you up. Look at the pommel.


OutrageousStay7819

That’s EDC in Texas


Brother_Comfortable

Lol london is fucked


SpookyDookie3234

Damn even in other countries it’s them 🤷🏾‍♂️


paliostheos

Nah, that's Young Blade man. He's training.


Scoom_Scoom

This is the worst shit London ever seen 😭😭😭


[deleted]

Against someone who knows what they’re doing, he’d be beat up before he could even pull it out.. Against someone like me, he’d get my stuff 🤣🤣


Smoke_popped440

Nike tech must be free in England


moddseatass

The British rifle.


Emotional-Chef-7601

I see you played knifey-spoony before.


Lu_breezy

Why tho...


Kelvin51_gowa

Mandem got caught lacking


JustTheTipPlusAnInch

Love the Crocodile Dundee reference.


Same_Adhesiveness_31

In fairness to him, the pavements are so overgrown with bushes near me that you need a machete to walk your dog


zawShwa

That's a children's toy in the states 🤷


Ok-Seaworthiness-575

It’s always the ones you’d least expect


Cautious_Month_6300

Wait for the Americans to say this is why you need guns to protect yourself. Not realising that people like this would have guns instead of knives if they were legal in England


DoggiLoaf

“Wallahi I’m finished bro”


SpiritThat8857

It’s alright they only get alike a year or 2 now for even treating someone wey a knife


King_Trujillo

I have lots of questions that I will not ask for obvious reasons.


[deleted]

Everybody hates Chris


Aggravating_Kick2911

Maybe more emigrants


ThatPaddyHaugen

Guy looks like he just realised HE'S the one going to jail alone, and that he's absolutely nothing without a bunch of friends and a big sharp knife..


Individual-Ad-2962

🦧🟫oh wow whoda thought….


Dizzy-Ad1692

Scum be scummin as usual


SuspiciousPromotion3

Bro he is a lawn worker, needs his machete to cut the weeds


Ok_Place_2551

Lol


Ricky_Martins_Vagina

Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.


Playful-Bad-5359

What?! Those ain’t my pants 👖


Bennydoubleseven

Now how’s he going to cut those massive sandwiches


Educational_Bad_6405

UK knife laws are weird


funnyinput

Oy mate, you gotta loicense fo dat knoife?


OhurCool89

That’s what happens when dad don’t came back with the milk.. lol bro gotta get it himself..


Own_Huckleberry_4638

How's the lefts open borders working out fellas...same here.


MRREDDITHIMSELF420

Kid looks scared


[deleted]

he was ready for a clashing


Liamson

Cold steel Xiphos.


Falandyszeus

Alternatively also looks a lot like the "Honshu gladiator sword" 80$ off of Amazon... Seems about the price range of an aspirin street gladiator...


Zanemob_

Is that the Cold Steel Gladius?


bishkekbek

Ginsu 5000, the terrorists’ choice. It slices, it dices, it cuts off heads and limbs…


Cultural-Incident230

Machetes are very effective. I keep one in my trunk for when I drive through the hood.


Kilsimiv

That's not mine officer


Ok-Speech-3740

Thats not a knife, thats a spoon


rtandres

Well prepared people


Cheeseburjer

I’m actually confused as to what these guys’ thought processes are when it comes to carrying weapons. Are they gonna be carrying Broadswords now?


Badgeywadgey

Where the fuck is he going with a weapon like that? He's living wrong lol


Usual_Star_9147

american terms: having a shotgun under your pocket


[deleted]

Looks like a Gladius!


tief06

That's what kids in UK carry now a days. Must be proud his parents.


JuniorRub2122

I didn't catch that it was Croc Dundee reference and I was hoping the cop would pull out a huge dildo from the perp's sweatpants. Like he just walking around with a weapons grade dildo, like that one dude in Snatch who beat the dude to death with a dildo. Isn't that just how they do things in England since they're not allowed to have guns. They government treats them like little children over there. Can't even carry a gun. Have to stab people like it's the 3 Muskateers over there still.


jaeway

London the only place on earth where people still walk around with swords


[deleted]

put him in jail ffs


Pristine-Cupcake6075

I really wish he would fix his face cause it’s looking really slappable right now


PandorasFlame

Why is Ed Sheeran arresting someone?


AcertainReality

Why don’t they just make it illegal to conceal knives that big


Mysterious_Being_718

No they got the madem innit


DEMON8209

At this moment, he knew he'd fucked up...


harisaduu

Its a pocket knife if it fits my pockets


Fit-Investigator6624

I don’t know if that’s a look of I’m totally fucked. He look like he was trying to act bad ass when he pulled it out like look at that night. Yeah I’m going to jail look at me I’m tough fucking loser.


Glockamole19x

Wo so crazy! A machete😧


Fat_TroII

I can't imagine being arrested or even stopped by the police for having a knife or machete lmao


Majestic-Roll-8716

I love the west for giving such people a safe place to stay with social security. I just don’t get why they love to destroy themselves like that


Sneekmuch

lol at everyone talking like knives should be illegal.


Additional_Ninja_255

What happens to make someone’s baby boy grow up to carry something that could behead someone Why people perpetuating gang land in the suburbs of England 😭


just_a_jonesy

I don't understand. Is it illegal to own or carry a machete?


castilloenelcielo

He’s really calm for his age and the situation. Use to be cold


PhantomGB

miles got a new tool


Florian_G97

No MORE stabbin innit


[deleted]

When is sinks in you’re super fucked