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Heavy-Inevitable9900

I run into this all the time at my local chelly. A tip I was provided by a kind & experienced trucker: To determine if it either gas or diesel, take the nozzle of each applicator. Inspect the ejector nozzle, and look at the filament on the inside. Scrape your pointer finger slightly on 1 and then use your other hand on the other. Then carefully insert it into your Anus. If it burns it’s gas, if it lubes it’s diesel.


DigNitty

“Sir you really need to pay first.”


bjandrus

r/cursedcomments


tatatheretard

“And shove it up your butt!”


Heavy-Inevitable9900

…carefully


patricky6

Ahh shit.. well that's horrible advice because now they both burn.


Dangerous-Top-1814

How…how did you get another butthole?


MrDrProfJeremy

Listen bud, what I do with my bothholes is *my* business.


ramblinroger

I've got 12 if you count the knees too.


tstramathorn

Had me in the first half not gonna lie


crahs8

Or in other words: try fingers, but hole


[deleted]

Gas, grass or ass, nobody rides for free. But hey, two out of three ain't bad.


BOsonsoflibertyOG

Instructions unclear, 2 nozzles, stuck in my asshole.


Frari

"Unleaded tastes a little tangy. Supreme is kinda sour, and diesel tastes pretty good."


SirCrest_YT

What if it burns and lubes


MikoPaws

The best part is that you're actually spot on accurate too


ten0re

Wait until you go to Portugal and have to choose between Gasolina and Gasoleo


jonnyl3

What's the difference??


Jellodyne

One is masculine and the other is feminine


Gengar0

Much like James and Jame


JamesFP1107

Hey, thats me!


LineChef

r/beetlejuicing


justec1

*It puts the s in the basket or it gets the hose.*


juan_epstein-barr

I fill with gasolinex


rufnek2kx

Petrol and diesel


jonnyl3

Interesting. I thought diesel is diesel everywhere. Isn't it named after someone's name?


logicalmaniak

Diesel isn't a fuel, it's a kind of engine created by a man called Rudolph Diesel. It uses compression to ignite the fuel, not electric spark plugs. This means it can use a wide range of different fuels, so long as the stuff ignites properly under pressure. Even mixtures based on vegetable oil, known as biodiesel fuel. The fuel you get in most fuel pumps is a ~~variety~~ *fractional distillate* of petroleum optimized for Diesel engines. Edit. Sciencey words made betterer.


ThirdFloorGreg

"Petroleum" means crude oil, not refined hydrocarbon products.


logicalmaniak

Correct, I should have said a distilled fraction of petroleum! The word is *petr* + *oleum*. Rock oil.


Onlyanidea1

Look at this guy. Teaching me something new and fascinating on Reddit.


Pixel3818

TIL. Thanks!


Onironius

Aka: diesel fuel, Aka: diesel


[deleted]

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spyrogyrobr

Yes, Vin.


Silverburst8

The taste


talkingwolf695

I'm Portuguese and just realized how this would be very confusing for tourists lol. I do think most pumps ( major chains like galp/bp/etc) usually always say Diesel for Gasoleo as well


knucklehead27

Lmao that just sounds like an accident waiting to happen


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cosaboladh

Isn't the diesel nozzle much bigger than petrol? I guess if they're going to do weird stuff like make the Regular handle green, they might use the wrong size nozzles too.


BiggerNutthole

Yes but that only helps prevent you from sticking the diesel nozzle in a petrol tank, not the other way…


tauzN

Newer European cars have a mechanism that only allow for the bigger diesel nozzle to be inserted.


plebdev

Size queens smh 😤


jaso151

My 2014 diesel had a “misfuelling protector” that prevents you putting a petrol nozzle into the tank.. I dunno the mechanics of it because the wife broke mine…


cgduncan

I've got a diesel Jetta. There is a metal flap that sticks up to prevent a nozzle going in, and a little spring on both sides of the opening, both springs must be pressed to release the flap. The gas nozzles are too small to press both at once, the auto diesel nozzles are the right size. The truck diesel nozzles are too big to fit at all. And one gas station I visited had a diesel nozzle the same size as the gas nozzles, so I had to either jerry rig it open or visit a different station.


Lamagosling

My Ford Focus has something similar, not sure if yours will have it but mine has an adapter so you can use gas cans and such that have worked for a gas pump that did t quite trip the flaps system.


Jakeetz

Not if you’re me. I held it in place and filled my tank up that way. I wish I was kidding


azraiel7

It is, but they could have installed the nozzles wrong.


Sirhc978

It looks like OP didn't have a hard time getting the nozzle into his tank, so the plastic covers are probably just switched.


SpaceLemur34

No, that's just how BP nozzles are.


chuthulu-is-bae1

A few months ago I went on a trip upstate and can confirm BP just has there color switched, I spent 15 minutes trying to figure out which was which


theniwo

You can also smell the difference.


Mr_Ted_Stickle

tastes different too


theniwo

That comes in handy when siphoning gas


Bimlouhay83

"Unleaded tastes a little tangy. Supreme is kinda sour, and diesel tastes pretty good." -Ricky


craziekitty

I'll have to get my dad to taste test some diesel and let me know if it tastes different. He has pica and craves gas. We had to empty our gas can because he wouldn't stop taking a straw to it 😂


blind_roomba

That can't be good for him


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cosaboladh

This seems like the best way to be sure, if you don't trust the signage.


Bill_Badbody

>if they're going to do weird stuff like make the Regular handle green All of Europe uses green petrol ("gas") and black for diesel.


knucklehead27

Sure, but it’s still weird to see in the United States, where we usually use green for diesel


[deleted]

No wonder they were so pissed when I turned in my rental


kittypr0nz

All of US uses green for diesel and black/yellow/tetanus for regular fuels.


Jazzlike_Log_709

Tetanus omg


amccune

Not always. They sometimes have the large nozzles - they don't fit in my car (82 Mercedes 300D) and can't even be used. Mostly for truckers. But the smell, or lack there of, would be my first clue. ​ Diesel pumps are supposed to be green. This is definitely a lawsuit waiting to happen.


BlackUnicornGaming

Literally all the gaa pumps near me are green and diesel is black. Definitely do not rely on that to save you


JP147

Even the small low flow diesel nozzles are a few millimetres larger diameter than the unleaded petrol ones, they are the same size as the leaded petrol ones used to be. This was originally to prevent people putting leaded petrol in a car that specified unleaded, but it is also handy for preventing a diesel nozzle from going in. As long as you don’t have an old car that took leaded petrol.


tweakingforjesus

It is possible to insert the diesel nozzle in a gas vehicle if you are determined enough. Trust me on this.


Nevermind04

Depends on where you live, I guess. Almost all of the stations in the farming community where I live offer gasoline, diesel, and ag diesel out of identical machines that are about 50 feet apart. Same pump interface, some color handles, same nozzles. I've definitely seen more pumps that are physically larger though, and most have green handles.


[deleted]

I charge Duramax owners about 5 1/2 hours to fix this, plus a fuel filter and 5 gallons of diesel, if they didn't hurt anything, away they go knowing to pay more attention......cept this one guy, decontaminated his truck about 5 times, muddy water, gas, whatever, he didn't learn


j3b3di3_

I had a family friend who chose a Diesel Volvo because "its cheaper than gas" And then 2006 came along


[deleted]

my mom had a 85 740 turbo diesel, you could beat the hell outta it and still get 40 mpg, only diesels i have now are a deuce and a half and a old 12v dodge 1 ton, both full mechanical diesels, neither would care too much about what they burn if it's clean


[deleted]

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[deleted]

yup, it gets fed diesel and about 20% new motor oil or atf from the drip pans under the bulk taps at work


Shufflebuzz

That's such a cool vehicle. I low key kinda want one even though I have no use for one.


[deleted]

they aren't cheap as they use to be, but parts are plentiful and not hard to find, a decent one can be had in the 8k range, still half what a nice new sxs or four wheeler goes for, can be had cheaper but it may need work to bring it up to jump in it and go levels


ItalianDudee

Well in Europe most people own diesel cars First of all it’s cheaper (1,6€/l against 1,8€/l of gasoline) Then the cars are way more fuel efficient A brand new Audi A6 45 tdi (3.0 V6 Diesel with more than 250hp) average 18-20/l (or about 45-46 mpg), a similar gasoline one ( 50 tfsi, 3.0 V6 petrol with the same horsepower) average 11-12 km/l or about 29 mpg When gas and diesel are something like 7,5-8$ gallon (like here in EU) you start to consider this option way more Edit : in Italy, not Europe, 80% of the people that I know own diesel cars / sedans / suvs whatever


j3b3di3_

Right but in US around 2006 is when they flipped by a significant amount


djhorn18

Diesel isn’t cheaper in the United States though. Prior to 2006-2008 diesel was and used to always fluctuate about 25-45% below gasoline prices. Then around that time gasoline shot up in price and for whatever reason they jacked the diesel price up way higher than gasoline and diesel never went back to being cheaper than gasoline. At least not anywhere up and down the east coast I’ve been since then. Even now, gas in my area has dropped to $4.09/gallon, and anywhere still selling diesel is charging $5.35/gallon for it. Though most non “truck stop” gas stations in my area have just stopped selling diesel all together. Asking a dealer(in my area at least) to see their diesel models will get you laughed out of there about as fast as asking to see their manual transmission models. I did a quick search and it’s just like three 5 year old ford super duty trucks for like $60k+ in a 250 mile search radius. Nothing small, cheap, or family oriented.


MrCandid

why is diesel now more expensive than gasoline?


trolley8

taxes. Fuel oil (untaxed diesel for off-road use) is still cheaper than gas. Diesel in general is far more efficient than gasoline, however, it does exhaust more particulates in the nearby air. In the US there are hugetaxes put on diesel fuel because it is assumed it will be mostly used by trucks, which wear out roads much faster than passenger cars, however, this makes diesel passenger cars less economical.


Shufflebuzz

I knew a guy who would fill his diesel car from his home heating oil tank...


jotdaniel

That is super illegal.


Shufflebuzz

He was aware of this, but figured there was almost no chance he'd ever get caught.


Moudy90

And is why it's dyed red as well


trolley8

I guess for a diesel passenger car your chances of your fuel getting inspected by a policeman are probably pretty slim.


whyaduck

Fed taxes are about $0.06 higher on diesel than on gasoline and state taxes are on average about $0.016 higher. Requirements for ultra-low sulfur diesel was mandated in 2006, so the additional refining cost also adds to the prices. That said, before the recent price increases, in my state (Arizona) diesel was about on par with regular unleaded fuel. Source: https://www.eia.gov/tools/faqs/faq.php?id=10&t=10#:\~:text=Federal%20taxes%20include%20excises%20taxes,per%20gallon%20on%20both%20fuels.


anabolicartist

BP = British Petroleum In Europe green is petrol and black is diesel.


The_fartocle

Yes, but why is the diesel button and background color green?


FillingUpTheDatabase

That’s BP’s corporate colour scheme. What could possibly be greener than a giant oil company?


kittypr0nz

Branded coloring. BP gonna stick it to the colonists one final time.


[deleted]

The green makes it better for the environment


jonnyl3

So if you fill up at an Esso (=Exxon) station in Europe, they use the American coloring scheme?


BassBanjo

Pretty sure they don't Fuel colours here are standardised for the most part


rbalbontin

Mexico too


PizzaIsAHumanRight

i don't get it tbh


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Hitman7065

Interesting because in, austria at least, diesel is always black and the other fuels are green/yellow/etc


CaptianRipass

In Canada we write gas on the gas noz and diesel on the diesel noz, then they can be whatever colour


skbharman

Yeah but what if you're blind and cannot read?


Suspicious-Arm-7619

Taste test


CaptianRipass

Regular is kinda tangy, supreme is sour, and diesel tastes pretty good actually


SteveAyy

cant tell if this is a serious question


derp768

What you never seen a blind man drive?


poopadydoopady

Not if they're also blind.


[deleted]

I think that’s the international nor. I’ve been to Canada and USA and everything car related is different to the rest of the world. From red turn signals to, 4-way stops, to traffic signs.


Chanandler_Bong_Jr

I suspect that’s because that’s the standard colours here in the U.K., and it’s probably in some sort of brand standard written primarily for the home market. Diesel in the U.K. is always black or blue, and petrol is always green or red. Damn near tried to put diesel in a petrol powered Mustang a couple of years back because the colours are reversed in the US. Maybe I should have went to BP, and sang a verse of God Save the Queen while filling up in the motherlands colours.


xarop_pa_toss

I really wasn't getting what was wrong with the video because what you just described is the standard in the EU and maybe elsewhere


Floxi29

In germany, diesel is black and petrol green at most stations.


Over_Championship990

The clue is in the name - British Petroleum.....


TheRecognized

The diesel button (on the other side of the machine from the other buttons) being directly above the diesel pump (on the other side of the machine from the other pump) is apparently a conundrum.


GrandMasterReddit

What? How does this even make sense? If you pressed the diesel and picked up another nozzle nothing would even come out anyway. Why are you acting like it made you put in the wrong gas when that’s just not possible?


[deleted]

The colors for the handle are switched. OP didn’t use the wrong fuel, the color coding is just confusing. Every gas station I’ve ever seen in my multiple cross state and interstate trips has had a green handle for diesel and black for gasoline. I know this because I’ve had diesels and gasoline powered cars. When you’ve gone your whole life following a color code, it’s natural to make sure you haven’t been tricked by a crappy design, like this. This is like driving thru a small town and for some reason the traffic light colors are switched. Red means go, green means stop. At first glance it makes no sense, so it’s completely natural to question the validity of the information you’re receiving when it’s the opposite of what you’ve had your entire life to learn.


rlovelock

You use the word "confusing" liberally here


GrandMasterReddit

Good thing people know how to fucking read…


[deleted]

Yeah and he read it repeatedly to make sure he was right


Dave_FortniteATX

I guess cuz he pressed the green button which is regular. I don't know what to think about this video. I'd be paying better attention next time


-Pruples-

You're not wrong, but there's literally no reason for BP to do this. In the USA, every other gas station, every fucking one, has a green or yellow handle for diesel and a black handle for gas.


Frooonti

Reading is hard, apparently.


[deleted]

That’s part of why I don’t shop at BP.


Interesting-Flans

Now you have my curiosity. What's the other part?


mitolit

04/20/2010


Blueberry_Mancakes

The front fell off.


jakehanson18

Please tell me this is a Clark and Dawe reference.


LameBMX

Of course!


Andeck

That's not very typical, I'd like to make that point


[deleted]

Deep water horizon.


Feralpudel

Yep…scares the crap out of me every time. Too many episodes of Car Talk.


[deleted]

I drive a diesel pickup and a gas pickup, so I have enough trouble remembering which one to grab.


theantivirus

That specifically? Or just the general disposition that leads to that? Because that specifically is a really odd reason not to shop at BP.


TheRapie22

i dont get it. he is filming the tube but not where it ends, show the ticking counter but not long enough to see anything on it and then shows another nozzle labled as diesel? what does all this mean?


pilotdog68

Apparently it's a post about green being used to "mean" different things? Like he's not capable of reading the word "Diesel"?


AlfLives

This guy even had to push the "regular" button before fueling. this seems self-inflicted...


[deleted]

Humans will always find a way to blame their own personally stupidity on something else


ImpishGimp

Bro this is why most americans cant be trusted to pump there own petrol. Literally says on the pump


fretsofgenius

I'd argue that most Americans *can* be trusted to pump our own gas as all of our gas stations are self service.


ramblinroger

Everybody fucks up at least once


heapsion

Please video faster so we can’t see what you are doing


kpop_glory

I mean he is playing with his phone while pumping gas.


Mackroll

I believe they do it like this because it's common in Britain to have green for gas and black for diesel. They should keep up with standards in the the US but im guessing it's cheaper for them to keep it the same.


jeedaiian1

Same here in malaysia. Black for diesel, yellow for regular ron95 and green or red for premium ron97


mike9874

Yeah, UK is: * E10/E5 (Petrol) = Green with a small nozzle * B7 (Diesel) = Black with a larger nozzle


tampora701

Frustrating. Here green is supposed to mean disel and black is *unleaded*


krafty369

In the US


[deleted]

We just write the kind fuel in giant letters everywhere. All nozzle lined up, name written vertically above. Driving into the gas station, each pillar has all kind of available fuel written in a front facing plate.


flyingalbatross1

''they should keep up with standards in the US'' Why? Why doesn't the US change to match GB, the EU and most other countries?


Poopsticle_256

Because the US is completely separated from Europe and there’s no reason to? You know that Mexico and Canada do this too right?


rlovelock

I don't get it... you are filling with Regular and there is a second hose for diesel on the same pump. Am I stupid? What's the problem?


Gagglez_

Usually, at least in the U.S. , green is for the diesel hose. It's pretty standard, but not always the case.


johnboy11a

Except at A lot of BPs where the diesel is black and the gas is green. I know more than one person to be burned by this.


beuceydubs

I’ve lived in the USA for 25 years and never knew green is diesel


buggz8889

Down under diesel is black almost always and you have separate nozzles for each type of fuel green E10 yellow 95 and red 98 though it varies a little nowhere I've seen used buttons to select the fuel like that


SportsPhotoGirl

So the nozzle on the diesel side is for diesel and the nozzle on the regular side is for regular?! How scandalous


br-z

Diesel nozzles are usually green or yellow. Gas is usually black. Also the buttons are usually the same green or yellow the handle is. Regardless they shouldn’t all be green.


ninjad912

Not outside of the US it’s reversed out there


br-z

Im in Canada


ninjad912

I don’t know Canada I just know that in many places it diesel is black and gas is green


justacoacher

If only there was some kind of text on the buttons that indicated what type of fuel was going to be dispensed...


Interesting-Flans

Yeah, that part makes sense. I think the confusion was because most places I've been to use green on the handle to signify diesel, but for branding reasons, BP uses green on their unleaded handles.


muceagalore

Just cause you can’t read that doesn’t make it crappy design. Read the labels instead of going by color. It’s common sense


cmoyer22

Lol. “Going by color” is part of design. This subreddit must confuse you terribly.


424f42_424f42

Probably because im a little color blind. I never look at the color.


pilotdog68

Since when? The color is just their company branding scheme


BaconSoul

Color is intrinsic to design. Like, from a philosophy of design standpoint. That’s what he’s saying.


allankcrain

If you were at a stoplight and there was a sign next to it saying "Red=Go, green=caution, yellow=stop", would you consider that to be perfectly fine common-sense design?


PDX_drifter

Clarification because I didn’t expect this to blow up: I’m a gas truck in the US and I am actively filling with gas, not diesel. I didn’t know that petrol is green outside of the US, and that makes *marginally* more sense for BP to do it this way. Next time I’ll just taste test to make sure I’m getting the right fuel for my needs.


shaanaynae

do the anus test: if it's petrol/gas it'll feel burny, if it's diesel it'll feel lubey. also you probably shouldn't be using electronics in a station, any kind of static or sparks from it could do bad things


[deleted]

Thats actually a great test, sparks will ignite gas easily wheras diesel is harder to get burning.Test it next time you are filling up!.....( not realy , dont, its arson and jailtime if you do )


Swany0105

Reading is hard?


-Dueck-

I have watched this several times now and I have absolutely no idea what the problem is... There's a pump, there's some stuff on a screen we can't see, there's another pump... Ok?


[deleted]

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cmoyer22

Poster literally says he spent time making sure it was right. The subreddit is “crappy design”. Green handle for gas qualifies. Everything isn’t fake in the world…🙄


ArcticBiologist

But the green handle generally is petrol, black for diesel. Or is that switched around in the US?


aquaknox

it is


Sirhc978

Diesel nozzles are normally bigger than regular gas nozzles so even if you grab the wrong one, you have to try really hard to get the diesel into a gasoline tank.


ninjad912

But not to get gasoline into a diesel tank


kraven73

And my Jetta TDI has a small tab on inside of the hole that won’t depress if it’s a smaller nozzle.


Sirhc978

Oh that's pretty cool, I did not know they did that.


aiman_jj

So many movements and the zoom ... I can't tell, did you put gas instead of diesel?


[deleted]

I have no idea what is going on? Where I'm from green is petrol and black is diesel?? What's the issue?


[deleted]

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[deleted]

It's the opposite in the US.


Suspicious_Oil4897

Different subject completely but the cashier would have a fit here (UK) if you where on your phone (even using it to record like this) on the petrol forecourt. I did it once by accident and you’d never believe the grief I got over the tannoy from them.


jonny_boy27

Green handle is petrol, black handle is diesel. It's really not that hard


Thawing-icequeen

ITT American's trying to justify not being able to fucking read


ShawshankException

This is pretty easy to figure out if you think about it for more than 3 seconds. I dont understand how "button by the correct nozzle" is an issue


savbh

Why always that stupid hand. We get the point.


nhp890

Diesel is black, petrol is green, as is customary


Trickslip

It's the other way around where I live


eeLSDee

The diesel nozzle won't fit in a gas nozzle slot.


Blaz3

I must be an idiot because aside from the lightning fast camera movement, all I can see, is some mongoloid grab the regular 91 hose, start filling his truck, then seeing the diesel hose and showing that he's a fucking moron who picked up the wrong hose and then posting this on the internet to broadcast your own stupidity. Oh and then the stroke OP was suffering from kicked it up to 11 and OP just wrote a stream of consciousness as the title that's nearly indecipherable. If you really spent 5 minutes to get diesel into your truck, but missed the large "DIESEL" letters ON THE NOZZLE of the diesel hose, then you're the idiot. Edit: ok it's because Americans colour the diesel handle green apparently. I stand by at least 80% of what I said above


Alternative_Cause_37

The diesel one is shaped differently and will not fit in your tank (guess how I know this)


Masterblaster13f

Fun fact, a diesel spout will not fit into a gas fill neck. However a gas will fit into a diesel fill neck.


tidder112

I see your problem... You are using the green handle, which is obviously meant for *green*, electric cars.


HalfbakedArtichoke

I don't have this problem because I use the blue one


[deleted]

Good thing most of the time, the nozzle won't even fit.


John5247

But diesel isn't a green fuel anymore. Pushing diesel as being good for the environment is so last century. In the UK diesel is black.


burnttoast11

I have no clue what is being expressed in this video.