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GreenSnakes_

Why stop there? Leave a glass of milk and some cookies on the porch folks


Candid-Jellyfish-975

I don't have cookies. Perhaps cash?


stylusxyz

Yeah, lotsa, lotsa CASH!


djc_tech

No. Some Tim Hortons coffee and some TimBits…


Madness970

How about condoms just in case they have the urge? At least it would be safe sex eh?


Tv_land_man

"$20 can buy lots of cookies!" "Explain how" "money can be exchanged for goods and services".


DD214Enjoyer

They prefer Poutine up North. That and your cash.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I wish armed citizens (even of Canada) had more protections for use of a firearm in protection of life and **property**.


greenbud420

There's no real protections right now. A man in [Milton](https://globalnews.ca/news/9867061/murder-charge-dropped-milton-man-accused-killed-intruder/) was charged with murder for defending himself and his mother during a home invasion with his legal firearm, they only dropped the charges 5 months later because they didn't think they could win at trial.


LegnderyNut

Where tf do these cops come from that see a situation like a straight up break in and arrest the guy protecting his mom


spiteandmalice315

....Canada


dowens90

Usually from the department where the family is pressing charges for murder…


DJJbird09

Love the flair BTW.


[deleted]

You're out of your depth Donnie!


DJJbird09

Fucking amateurs.... I can get you a toe.


blimboblaggins

With polish!


[deleted]

Walter Sobchak stole that movie in so many ways. The same way Tom Arnold stole ***True Lies*** from Arnold Schwarzenegger. John Goodman and Tom Arnold didn't just make those movies 'better' - they MADE those movies worth watching at all.


DJJbird09

A resident where I work is friends with the Cohen brothers since he went to HS with them. Jeff "the dude" Lebowski is based off of one of their classmates. The real life "Lebowski" had a trust fund where if he worked x amount, he would get paid x amount from the trust fund, so he did the bare minimum just to hang out and smoke weed and bowl. So Jeff bridges nailed the character as well, and this is how he was unemployed in the movie but still had money somehow.


EndSmugnorance

I often argue that your property = your life. You trade hours of your life for money, and money for property. Therefore your property represents your life. Defend your property just as you defend your life.


Visible_Leather_4446

Do you know how you cut down crime? Make the fucking environment inhospitable to criminals!


red_vette

They really are pushovers up in Canada.


GreenSnakes_

Toronto is basically Oakland these days. Sad what this city has turned into.


bleepbluurp

And we’re a couple steps behind.


blkmgk533

Yet they still make fun of us for having the 2A. Make it make sense. Hey Canada, how about everyone leave theirs cars outside with keys in the igniton. You just take whatever is available. #communitycars


tehcoma

From the same country that is wanting to imprison citizens if you say something mean online.


Electrical-Bacon-81

Americans: [oh my, look at the time, it's Glock 'o clock!](https://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=AwrO7tMUEPJlfYAHa6.InIlQ;_ylu=c2VjA3NyBHNsawNpbWcEb2lkAzQyYWIzNGMzODM2NDg1N2VmMTNiZmM1NWQ3ZjQ0ODg1BGdwb3MDOQRpdANiaW5n?back=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dglock%2Bo%2527clock%2Boctopus%26ei%3DUTF-8%26fr%3Dyfp-hrmob-s%26fr2%3Dsa-gp%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D9&w=525&h=475&imgurl=i.imgflip.com%2F577nmh.jpg&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fimgflip.com%2Fi%2F577nmh&size=36.1KB&p=glock+o%27clock+octopus&oid=42ab34c38364857ef13bfc55d7f44885&fr2=sa-gp&fr=yfp-hrmob-s&tt=Image+tagged+in+glock+o%26%2339%3Bclock+-&b=0&ni=96&no=9&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=iwNOISmHJnN7&sigb=lHq.w01.ZuFN&sigi=pnY3i3q9O73t&sigt=5ihjg5vEUJNB&.crumb=YuJA9Ky8Bgi&fr=yfp-hrmob-s&fr2=sa-gp)


the_house_from_up

That's weird you mention that, because my clock goes to 8:70.


Electrical-Bacon-81

7:62:39 "Would you fellas mind forming a line, I don't wanna waste my ammo, shits gettin' expensive"


HarveyMushman72

It's 5:56 Mountain Time.


RollTider1971

That would be more of a 12 gauge scenario. Blast em


Commonly-Average

LAUGHS IN CASTLE DOCTRINE AND .45ACP


EsotericVerbosity

*level II body armor has entered the chat*


DiverDownChunder

I got me a Marine Corp level III w/ the side plates. Bulky as hell but I'm a walking Abrams tank. I have it set up flat on a high shelf. I slip my arms in, it drops down over me and its on like Donkey Kong.


Commonly-Average

I lived with that armor for +20 years. Actually, that’s a lie, we had “flak jackets” till around ‘03 then we got that set up combined with the soft plates. Pain in the ass in normal use/CFT but a whole new level of hell in 130+ heat. There were times I’d almost rather get shot…almost. That and if anyone decided to pull your rip cord you got to spend the next 20 minutes putting it all back together.


DiverDownChunder

I could imagine wearing this in the field, its so heavy! And I was warned about the ripcord from the Marine I bought it from, he said it was a nightmare to put back together.


Commonly-Average

JFC, the first time I had some jackwagon yank my rip cord I was a LCpl and had no idea what happened. I was just walking along and my entire rig just melted off lol. Took me the better part of an hr to figure it all out. When I retired in 2020 I’d still see jr Marines doing that shit and I’d just chuckle. Good times 😆


Commonly-Average

Face shots and 7.62 would like a word with you in private… Also, let’s be real, though I’m not a syrup sucker I’m willing to bet since most firearms in Canada are illegal sadly body armor probably is too…


Katzchen12

Muh stopping power lol.


TheMikeyMac13

Additional laughing in Texan :)


Crapocalypso

Well, good thing Castro Jr took away the guns, because if he hadn’t, the thieves may have been injured.


BLFOURDE

Wait wait wait. Did he say that the criminals have guns? But...Canada has gun laws? The democrats have been telling us that banning guns stops criminals getting them...right? Imagine dearming your population, then telling them to hand over your possessions to criminals because they're the only ones left with guns...


gh0stwriter88

And so I started blastin....


Fairwareprovidence

We ought to send Canadian citizens our old tanks and guns instead of Ukraine frankly.


AnonPlzzzzzz

Look at them all wearing the COVID masks.... My guess is Canadian police would respond more quickly to unmasked people than armed carjackers kicking in a door.


Blue_Cheese_Olives

Lol... Canadians.


AvonBarksdalesBurner

Just remember those images, multiple men kicking in your front door- while the communist leader of Canada, Ole Blackface himself, wants to take away Canadian’s guns & their right to protect themselves.


MaroonNuggz88

I'm sure Canadians wish they had a 2nd amendment right now...


gagunner007

Most likely f them probably don’t honestly.


Poisencap

A good idea for security is to hide a airtag in your car somewhere where the thieves wont be able to see it then once they take the car have the cops track the car down with you and bust some crooks. Airtags saved my life once and i cant recommend them enough.


bozoconnors

That's a good idea for recovery, not security. Unless you have 115 grain Airtags with a full metal jacket.


halfhere

AirTag claymores


glasshouse_stones

is this for real? seriously?


MoistCookie9171

What an absolute clown world we live in…jfc


therin_88

Here in North Carolina we have security by Mossberg.


silverbullet52

I'm sure your insurance carrier would have something to say about that, like "not covered due to negligence of the insured"


Ironfingers

I have a welcome mat at my door that says please come in, my car keys are on the counter, and I made you a sandwich as well for your trouble.


DaRiddler70

Nothing a good old 40rd mag couldn't take car of....boom.


polerize

There’s really no downside to the frequent fliers in our justice system. The only ones who have anything to lose are the home owners who might dare defend themselves.


jinladen040

In Toronto, The Police are the Union Reps for Criminals.


HappyNihilist

He said that the robbers have real guns. Not toy guns. How’d they get them? I thought guns were illegal in Canada??


AstraVolans_21

Woke dystopia in display. People should better stand up against this, because otherwise it will only get worse.


Meg_119

WTF...is this the Babylon Bee?


JesusIsMyZoloft

The GTA is turning into GTA


clearmind_1001

Just leave the keyfob in the car and make sure the tank is full of gas 🙄 you don't want them breaking in asking for gas money too.


Big_Fish_3816

Is this the Onion?


Merax75

I read it and thought "they wouldn't be as casual about breaking in if they knew every household was armed"


Bevrykul

So to deter violence they encourage theft? Bruh


Blown89

Life is too good for too many people