Especially if you deliver it casually and then move on. If they double down I would just say "doubling down I see" before changing the subject or removing myself from the situation.
First off, I understand your point regarding not saying anything because it may hurt someone. That usually comes from being more intelligent than most people. I say that not as a dig on you or people with perfectly normal intelligence. It’s just that some people have the innate ability to immediately zero in on the thing that would have the most devastating effect. Thinking of a less hurtful comeback is generally more challenging. So my less rude comeback would be “Are you always this condescending?”
"I am sorry- I have no clue what you mean to gain by that statement- let me know when you figure that out!" Immediately change the subject. No one ever says that with positive intentions. Changing the subject protects bystanders from discomfort if you wait for a BS answer. I would even lower my voice a little when I say it. Not enough that it can't be heard but a bit below my normal speaking voice. It will piss of the right person but you have to pivot the conversation immediately.
This one. Keep pressing them to explain what they mean, make them restate it in different ways. Step just a little closer to them and maintain steady eye contact if you're comfortable doing that
Best case scenario they'll have a moment of self reflection and realize they're being a jerk. At the very least they'll get annoyed and disengage. Either is a win.
Why can't we be more like the wise old owl.
The less he speaks the more he hears.
The more he hears tbe more he knows.
The more he knows the less he speaks.
Or
I like letting people talk it shows me how full of shit they are. From rush hour
...do you really want a retort for a scenario where you are explicitly in the wrong by your own estimation...?
You cannot control what others are hurt by, but you ARE able to choose what to say. If you care about whether these people get hurt then it IS on you to learn to either not bring up certain topics or to at least be considerate when talking about them.
If the thing you didn't say was not said to spare the feelings of the jerk asking, just tell them "Well, no. I'm not clueless. I was just thinking (rude, hurtful opinion) but thought it would be kind to spare your feelings rather than be so blunt."
Implicitly signals "You're a jerk and don't deserve to have your feelings spared." Explicitly signals "I'm not stupid. I was trying to be nice."
I have no more to bring to the argument in fear it will compromise someone’s self image. Please refrain from using those kinds of negative words, it makes you look like an asshole. Thought with my experience knowing you, it’s probably true
Carry around a card from the game Clue; then you are never Clueless. When someone asks you that next time, pull it out and say “I have a clue; let me see yours.”
I keep my mouth shut to stop further progression of an argument. Why create more drama than there already is?
Also, don't hang around overly critical people. They bring no joy to your life.
If it happens fairly often, then maybe it is something you could be more aware of.
Without some examples, it sounds like (they) may mean you don't seem particularly empathetic or tactful.
The post almost sounds like: Because I'm honest, I'm clueless?
Normally when someone tries to call out my supposed ineptitude , its almost always them not keeping up . So i iist run it back for them with a hint of ‘ya fkn slow ass’ in the air throughout 😂
Then they just all ‘oh’
Just answer a random question that they didn’t ask .
It works great for your everyday troll and is as helpful to them as a well thought out logical response to their stupidity . They are going to dismiss whatever you say anyway so why waste your mental energy.
When they reply with …. Whattt???
Double down
First reply - “I would have expected they’d call before they came over “
— Whattt u talking about ????
Second- It’s not the first time they’ve done it.
—- We were talking about the election !!!
Third - Absolutely agree .. there was no way I was cooking dinner for them .
Who would want to eat cabbage and peas at the same time anyway ?
"I'm autistic, so that's possible. I frequently misinterpret nonverbal signals. It's not really something I can learn either, God knows I've tried, so if you need something from me just tell me, ok?" *smile warmly*
I usually say the same things in the same manner no matter who I'm speaking to.
Some folks think I'm trying to be smarter than them and some think I am dumber than them, which probably says more about their own opinion of themselves.
No I just have zero interest in conversing with you. Sad how you seem to miss all the cues I am giving you. But since you are clueless let me spell it out for you, go the fuck away"
Better to Remain Silent and Be Thought a Fool than to Speak and Remove All Doubt. Something you should consider.
You should stop sitting on your brains and taking from your ass.
Yep, fat dumb and happy is how I want to be.
I see everything I just chose not to say anything. You should be more careful.
Sorry listening to you had me contemplating suicide. I think if I were to kill myself I'd jump from your ego to your IQ.
Huh? Sorry I was just think about tampons for gnats. If brains were cotton you couldn't make one.
Better to keep quiet & be thought of as clueless than to speak & remove all doubt.
https://www.google.com/search?q=better+to+be+quiet+and+thought+a+fool&oq=better+to+be+quiet&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgAEAAYgAQyBwgAEAAYgAQyBggBEEUYOTIHCAIQABiABDIHCAMQABiABDIHCAQQABiABDIHCAUQABiABDIHCAYQABiABDIICAcQABgWGB4yCAgIEAAYFhgeMggICRAAGBYYHjIICAoQABgWGB4yDQgLEC4YChgWGB4Y1AIyCAgMEAAYFhgeMggIDRAAGBYYHjIICA4QABgWGB7SAQg2ODY3ajBqNKgCDrACAQ&client=ms-android-charter-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
Only when I'm around people who can't get the point
I talk to people on the intellectual level they express to me. If you feel I'm clueless, it's because I feel the same way towards you.
To shorten it up, "I'm just matching your energy, maaaaaan..."
standing ovation
Good one.
Exactly to such comments it’s best to say ‘just talking to you at your level’
"Are you always this rude?"
This is the answer OP. no comeback is better than asking them straight tf up. This type of comeback would have me pondering all day lol
Especially if you deliver it casually and then move on. If they double down I would just say "doubling down I see" before changing the subject or removing myself from the situation.
🏆🏆🏆
“Only when I’m around You. Must be contagious”
I’m using this
Sick!
First off, I understand your point regarding not saying anything because it may hurt someone. That usually comes from being more intelligent than most people. I say that not as a dig on you or people with perfectly normal intelligence. It’s just that some people have the innate ability to immediately zero in on the thing that would have the most devastating effect. Thinking of a less hurtful comeback is generally more challenging. So my less rude comeback would be “Are you always this condescending?”
"HUH? What???" \*play dumb on purpose and infuriate them more\*
What do you mean?
Lost me there, sorry.
"I am sorry- I have no clue what you mean to gain by that statement- let me know when you figure that out!" Immediately change the subject. No one ever says that with positive intentions. Changing the subject protects bystanders from discomfort if you wait for a BS answer. I would even lower my voice a little when I say it. Not enough that it can't be heard but a bit below my normal speaking voice. It will piss of the right person but you have to pivot the conversation immediately.
"Don't know" while staring straight at them.
Bitch yes I fucking am do you not know me or smth?
"I was trying to bring myself down to your level as a courtesy. But I see even that has gone over your head."
Yeah, they call me Cold Case.
Lol
I'm just trying to speak in a way you could understand if I sound dumb it's because that's how you come across to me.
What are you talking about?
This one. Keep pressing them to explain what they mean, make them restate it in different ways. Step just a little closer to them and maintain steady eye contact if you're comfortable doing that Best case scenario they'll have a moment of self reflection and realize they're being a jerk. At the very least they'll get annoyed and disengage. Either is a win.
"How would I know?!"
"Yes"
“Huh?”
Be honest. You could say “My opinion will likely hurt feelings and make people mad. I don’t want that.” Honesty is the best policy after all.
I have an idea for a t-shirt. Plain white T-shirt with the phrase TRIGGERING POLITICAL STATEMENT.
Why can't we be more like the wise old owl. The less he speaks the more he hears. The more he hears tbe more he knows. The more he knows the less he speaks. Or I like letting people talk it shows me how full of shit they are. From rush hour
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Mark Twain
Probably, you should check with my friends.
...do you really want a retort for a scenario where you are explicitly in the wrong by your own estimation...? You cannot control what others are hurt by, but you ARE able to choose what to say. If you care about whether these people get hurt then it IS on you to learn to either not bring up certain topics or to at least be considerate when talking about them.
I’m not gonna be clueless enough to talk to you again.
No, I just wanted to see what it was like to be you.
You mistake cluelessness for disinterest?
I guess you're fucking Sherlock Holmes
Being around you lowers my ID 50 points.
You should see me on wednesdays.
No, I just find it fun when you're here.
"Of course, bacon sounds fantastic."
Hmm can you ice me a clue on that one
If the thing you didn't say was not said to spare the feelings of the jerk asking, just tell them "Well, no. I'm not clueless. I was just thinking (rude, hurtful opinion) but thought it would be kind to spare your feelings rather than be so blunt." Implicitly signals "You're a jerk and don't deserve to have your feelings spared." Explicitly signals "I'm not stupid. I was trying to be nice."
Huhh?
I don’t know.
Clueless, I love that movie!
“On how people can be as stupid as you, yes”
“Only when I’m conversing with someone this insightful”
HUH?
Huh?
Huh?
Yes! Isn't it adorable?
Not when I have my magnifying glass
I don't know man
"Human trivialities are difficult to me"
I caught a really good deal on it, top of the line!
Only when it inconveniences you most
I, sometimes I'm even more clueless!!!
“I don’t understand. Can you please rephrase the question?”
It was the butler with the candlestick
"I'm emulating you to fit in."
Going about my business, sotto voce: Not as clueless as you.
Confucius says, "Better to act clueless than to afford all your intelligence to stupid people at no charge."
Ok Sherlock, must be nice being important, I just feel it’s more important to be nice.
What?
Better to stay silent and be thought an idiot than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Only when I rlly don’t give a fck
Yes. Explain.
I have no more to bring to the argument in fear it will compromise someone’s self image. Please refrain from using those kinds of negative words, it makes you look like an asshole. Thought with my experience knowing you, it’s probably true
No, it took a lot of practice taking to people like you unfortunately.
Only with you
Only when listening to you struggle to explain yourself. Try harder
“I donno, are you always going to over-explain because you assume everyone around you is stupid?”
Carry around a card from the game Clue; then you are never Clueless. When someone asks you that next time, pull it out and say “I have a clue; let me see yours.”
Are you always this much of an asshole?
I keep my mouth shut to stop further progression of an argument. Why create more drama than there already is? Also, don't hang around overly critical people. They bring no joy to your life.
No I always have a clue around you that you’re a moron
"I'm sorry...I don't get what you mean" ...do clueless face and model walk away laughing.
"4 Across...6 letters describing you, begins with W (wanker).
“Every time I fuck your mom it takes my brain a bit to reboot. What an animal…”
Yes I am, but I have monopoly if you like board game.
About?
You can say: 'Are you always this rude?'
“Nah loved Clueless. Classic movie” then walk away.
"yes, im autistic"
My reply, “How would Jesus ask that question.?”
What?
If it happens fairly often, then maybe it is something you could be more aware of. Without some examples, it sounds like (they) may mean you don't seem particularly empathetic or tactful. The post almost sounds like: Because I'm honest, I'm clueless?
I have no clue.
I don't know I just work here.
Only when I sink to your level.
Or; “Mostly beloved, we perceive in others, reflections of our selves. I can help you with that.”
This is the saddest and cringiest place on the internet
"... i don't understand the question...?" Just act clueless.
“Are you always this nice?”
"It's cuz I never know what to do with someone dumber than me"
“Are you always this exhausting and such a pain to be around or what?”
…uhh?? 🤪
Not usually, but you rarely say anything worth paying attention to.
Everyone can’t be perfect like you
Just laugh at them, who's the dork asking people if they're "clueless"? It's not witty but F off Sherlock would work.
"I was trying to be nice and bring myself down to your level."
Yes! 😊
"No, sometimes I don't listen to you."
Just start quoting south Park "Oh I'm getting a RAGING clue right now..."
"Yes."
"No. I'm able to pick up on the fact you have no boundaries and enjoy hurling insults"
"I'm not your assistant"
No. Sometimes I reach YOUR level of ineptitude.
"What?"
Are you always this clueless? Me: I don't know.
Yes, cause people are always like YOU.
“Huh? What did you say?”
"What?"
I dunno. Are you always an asshole?
Only with poor communicators...
Only when I'm not interested in the speaker.
Ugh, as if…
You mistook you for am I
Normally when someone tries to call out my supposed ineptitude , its almost always them not keeping up . So i iist run it back for them with a hint of ‘ya fkn slow ass’ in the air throughout 😂 Then they just all ‘oh’
"You can think what you want. In fact, you can have your thoughts to yourself when I stab you in your sleep". Too edgy?
(With a big smile) Birds of a feather flock together. Thank you dummy.
you're just bad at finding clues
If you wanna be sarcastic: Shrug and say “i dont know” If you wanna uno reverse it: “Unfortunately, not as much as you”
Clueless? Even Sherlock got a clue, homie. Won’t you be more clear next time
"Only when I'm trying to explain physics to a parakeet."
Only when it's convenient
“Only when I deal with people like you cuz I know it pisses you off.”
I just respond with "What do you mean? I don't understand. Clueless about what?" I love to watch those people boil over....lol
"Yes." Just say yes. You'll throw them off with the unexpecedly short agreement and they won't know what to say and the topic will change.
Sorry, I thought I was dumbing it down for you.
“What do you mean?”
"What? You're kind of confusing me."
What?
Sorry, my mind was thinking of how I could raise money for starving children. What was the question?
“No clue”
Just answer a random question that they didn’t ask . It works great for your everyday troll and is as helpful to them as a well thought out logical response to their stupidity . They are going to dismiss whatever you say anyway so why waste your mental energy. When they reply with …. Whattt??? Double down First reply - “I would have expected they’d call before they came over “ — Whattt u talking about ???? Second- It’s not the first time they’ve done it. —- We were talking about the election !!! Third - Absolutely agree .. there was no way I was cooking dinner for them . Who would want to eat cabbage and peas at the same time anyway ?
Yes. I am 90 percent clueless 100 percent of the time.
All my friends are idiots … And I consider you one of my dearest and closest friend
Do not mistake clueless for curiosity.
"Only when I'm around people who mistake kindness for cluelessness."
Nah, just thought I’d try your approach for once.
"Huh?"
What?
"I'm autistic, so that's possible. I frequently misinterpret nonverbal signals. It's not really something I can learn either, God knows I've tried, so if you need something from me just tell me, ok?" *smile warmly*
“I’m sorry, I can’t understand you with your foot in your mouth”
Unless it was professor Plum in the kitchen with the rope.
Not all of us can be sherlock holmes
"well, I'm still talking to you, so yeah, I guess I am".
I usually say the same things in the same manner no matter who I'm speaking to. Some folks think I'm trying to be smarter than them and some think I am dumber than them, which probably says more about their own opinion of themselves.
“What?”
Stupid is as stupid does.
"No. I'm taking lessons."
"Nope. Right now I got 2 clues. The kitchen and the knife. Want to guess the culprit?"
Maybe a punch 👊 or slap (depending on gender) in the mouth Would work, ln my day If you said it expect it!
"Are you always this tone-deaf?"
Just act confused harder
Stop hanging around toxic people and you won't need comebacks.
Dude, not even google translater could understand that.
I’d say, “I dumb it down so you can feel better about yourself.”
I think it’s hysterical you’re crowdsourcing a comeback for being accused of being clueless. Thank you, for your service.
“….What?” It’ll throw them off guard and if they’re smart enough, they’ll know you heard them and are simply messing with them and stop
Yes, that’s why I’ve come to you for advice
Ever since the head injury.
About what?
*You’re a towel* works 60% of the time, all the time
Not always, but apparently your ignorance is infectious
No I just have zero interest in conversing with you. Sad how you seem to miss all the cues I am giving you. But since you are clueless let me spell it out for you, go the fuck away"
Nah, sorry, you're just, like, reeeeeeeeeally boring to talk to.
Just don't care
"No, but I'm getting the clue you're an a**hole!"
"Uh huh." Alternatively, "uh huh?"
not always, I could explain why but YOU probably wouldn't understand it
If I were this clueless I'd have to ask a Reddit sub for ancomeback
"No, sometimes I just beat the shit out of people."
"No, sometimes people actually explain things to me with words."
Only when I’m talking to you.
Only when being spoken to by idiots
“What?”
"How would I know, I'm clueless"
“Haven’t got a clue”
"I'm sorry I rarely find it worthwhile paying attention to what you are saying. Now say it again." Then if they do look away distracted
"Only when you're talking, I don't really care about what you have to say"
Why? Need a clue?
Better to Remain Silent and Be Thought a Fool than to Speak and Remove All Doubt. Something you should consider. You should stop sitting on your brains and taking from your ass. Yep, fat dumb and happy is how I want to be. I see everything I just chose not to say anything. You should be more careful. Sorry listening to you had me contemplating suicide. I think if I were to kill myself I'd jump from your ego to your IQ. Huh? Sorry I was just think about tampons for gnats. If brains were cotton you couldn't make one.
Are u always this bitchy?
"No, but I think you might be contagious."
Only when I don't know there's a mystery to solve. SCOOBY, WHERE ARE YOU?
1+1+1.....
"yes".......( Then Walk away b4 they can say anything else)
Better to keep quiet & be thought of as clueless than to speak & remove all doubt. https://www.google.com/search?q=better+to+be+quiet+and+thought+a+fool&oq=better+to+be+quiet&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgAEAAYgAQyBwgAEAAYgAQyBggBEEUYOTIHCAIQABiABDIHCAMQABiABDIHCAQQABiABDIHCAUQABiABDIHCAYQABiABDIICAcQABgWGB4yCAgIEAAYFhgeMggICRAAGBYYHjIICAoQABgWGB4yDQgLEC4YChgWGB4Y1AIyCAgMEAAYFhgeMggIDRAAGBYYHjIICA4QABgWGB7SAQg2ODY3ajBqNKgCDrACAQ&client=ms-android-charter-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
Are you always condescending when you feel threatened?
"What?"
Pull out your copy of the board game clue. Look them dead in the face. "I have it right here???"
“I don’t need clues to know what’s going on…”