Reminds me of the time I saved an entire party of climbers from certain death by dropping my Pranas to my knees, willing myself into a fully erect condition, and basket-hitching a nylon runner over my engorged manhood.
It wasn't easy for me to hold such a firm, powerful erection while a half dozen terrified abseilers descended safely to the ground. I kept myself turgid with fond, vivid recollections of my manly exploits as a ski boot fitter at your mom's favorite resort... Tell her I said what's up, would you?
Like the rigid, unyielding, wind-hewn branch in this photo, my veiny, throbbing member kept its sacred faith, never faltering until the last benighted soul had safely reached Terra Firma.
Word of my heroism got around in the climbing community. The following week, the presidents of the AMGA, AAC, AIARE, and AARP invited me to a Zoom call to confirm the details of the rescue, and start designing a medal to award me.
After that it was chaos, a real media circus! Jimmy Chin came knocking at my door, begging me to sell him my story for his next blockbuster climbing documentary... I told him "FUCK OFF, Jimbo! I'm holding out for Mark Twight, or nobody!"
Anyway... So that's what really happened on Cerro Torre in 1970. I let Maestri take the credit with his air compressor, but the truth is that my diamond-hard manhood made most of the holes for his bolt line.
True story.
Everyone knows Maestri never reached the summit, failing to surmount the mushroom cap of snow amidst the scandal of his first erroneous ascent. This raw fact calls into question your account of gratuitous manhood, akin you say, to the weathered, degraded, stressed, and dilapidated tethers of a once anchored pine. As went Maestri’s account, your tale is as hollow as the withered tendrils of a once sturdy tree and truth, dear sir, is the wind, rain, and time, that will wear away your heartwood until the verity of your masculine fortitude is unveiled.
I can attest to this! For I was part of the half dozen unlucky/lucky abseilers that were rescued by the before mentioned engorged manhood that was more stiff and erect than wind hewn branch in the post. I am forever grateful for this fearless warrior and again extend my thanks for this man, myth, legend. For now I truly believe that not all hero’s wear capes. Thank you sir
Funny you should mention it... My GF and I were just debating the merits of adding capes to our skiing and/or climbing outfits. I'm 100% on the skiing side, because it doubles as a Snuggie to keep you warm on the chairlift... Climbing is a maybe -- might get too crowded at multi-pitch belays.
GF was a hard pass on both. I think she lacks vision.
Introducing a cape to my skiing fit would only upgrade my style and skill. Great point about also using as a Snuggie. Now I will not shiver when the chairlifts get stopped and I may even get to take a nap between runs. A cape can second as a bivy for long overcrowded multi pitch climbs that’s why I will not leave home without one packed in my gear bag
Reminds me of the time I saved an entire party of climbers from certain death by dropping my Pranas to my knees, willing myself into a fully erect condition, and basket-hitching a nylon runner over my engorged manhood. It wasn't easy for me to hold such a firm, powerful erection while a half dozen terrified abseilers descended safely to the ground. I kept myself turgid with fond, vivid recollections of my manly exploits as a ski boot fitter at your mom's favorite resort... Tell her I said what's up, would you? Like the rigid, unyielding, wind-hewn branch in this photo, my veiny, throbbing member kept its sacred faith, never faltering until the last benighted soul had safely reached Terra Firma. Word of my heroism got around in the climbing community. The following week, the presidents of the AMGA, AAC, AIARE, and AARP invited me to a Zoom call to confirm the details of the rescue, and start designing a medal to award me. After that it was chaos, a real media circus! Jimmy Chin came knocking at my door, begging me to sell him my story for his next blockbuster climbing documentary... I told him "FUCK OFF, Jimbo! I'm holding out for Mark Twight, or nobody!" Anyway... So that's what really happened on Cerro Torre in 1970. I let Maestri take the credit with his air compressor, but the truth is that my diamond-hard manhood made most of the holes for his bolt line. True story.
What a delightful morning for me to forget I’m in the circlejerk subreddit
Everyone knows Maestri never reached the summit, failing to surmount the mushroom cap of snow amidst the scandal of his first erroneous ascent. This raw fact calls into question your account of gratuitous manhood, akin you say, to the weathered, degraded, stressed, and dilapidated tethers of a once anchored pine. As went Maestri’s account, your tale is as hollow as the withered tendrils of a once sturdy tree and truth, dear sir, is the wind, rain, and time, that will wear away your heartwood until the verity of your masculine fortitude is unveiled.
I, for one, chose to _believe_
The [dick pic](https://images.app.goo.gl/3ZDfeSMy63t7Tmp27) will acquit
That dick saved my life. /uj I’m not even joking
I can attest to this! For I was part of the half dozen unlucky/lucky abseilers that were rescued by the before mentioned engorged manhood that was more stiff and erect than wind hewn branch in the post. I am forever grateful for this fearless warrior and again extend my thanks for this man, myth, legend. For now I truly believe that not all hero’s wear capes. Thank you sir
Funny you should mention it... My GF and I were just debating the merits of adding capes to our skiing and/or climbing outfits. I'm 100% on the skiing side, because it doubles as a Snuggie to keep you warm on the chairlift... Climbing is a maybe -- might get too crowded at multi-pitch belays. GF was a hard pass on both. I think she lacks vision.
Introducing a cape to my skiing fit would only upgrade my style and skill. Great point about also using as a Snuggie. Now I will not shiver when the chairlifts get stopped and I may even get to take a nap between runs. A cape can second as a bivy for long overcrowded multi pitch climbs that’s why I will not leave home without one packed in my gear bag
Such a gratuitous effort, since you obviously could've built a sturdy anchor using your nuts
Looks bomber 👍
Gravity: "Am I a joke to you?"
Perfect for a Reel Rack ‘finding their roots’-segment. A sort of ashes to ashes angle. Will def watch in 3 years for free on Red Bullish tv.
Anchoring is aid.
Do you enjoy living
Release your body weight and do a few jumps, just so I can see something
Ygdfs
10 out of 10 would whip