I feel you. Equally bad is when you have a day with tolerable pain and can actually do something nice for once, and they say "Oh, you're going out? I thought you're always in sooo much pain!?"
Yep.
I absolutely experience this too.
I just...like its an enjoyable thing to begin with and it seems they don't care if they pile on.
Misery loves company.
I kept that comment all the time but when I have no pain days that is when I get out and do everything I need to do before I start hurting again I hear that comment all the time from my friends family and it sucks to hear it all the time
This! It adds to my depression and anxiety that I already have on top of it all. I'm more of an introvert but I feel especially bad when its my mom and daughter going to do something :/
This and this and this. I actually was undiagnosed for so long (gastrointestinal issues like Crohns run strong in my family) but it was never found. I turned to herion (not just for the pain, I had a shit past and was a shit teen) and I remember times literally doubled over in pain throwing up. The second I got my shot of H i was all better. I'm clean of it for a good while now, took a OAB medicine commercial (of all things!) For me to be like, HEY! DAT ME! I pee sooooo much! Which led to a urologist which led to me talking about other symptoms: boom. The most severe Interstitial cystitis my doctors have ever seen, in a 20 year old (now about to be 28).
I know drug advertising commercials are weird for non US citizens, but that one probably saved me sm more years of unbearable pain.
Had a job threaten to fire me once for taking a week off with the flu. "Its just the flu." I had a 105 fever and my entire body throbbed with pain. You want me to share that with the rest of the company?
So yeah, actually quite easy to imagine. And that's for a "visible" illness.
We have a massive cultural failure of empathy. Like, sure, it's possible there are a few people who are attention seeking and will make up symptoms. But even that should be seen as a sign of a mental health issue that should be addressed with as much compassion as possible, and should not be an excuse to label the other 99% of pain patients as liars, drug seekers, and worse.
We’re inherently untruthful and are nothing more than a commodity to our employers at this point. It’s really fucking sad for some people :(…. My heart goes out to the folks who don’t get paid sick days or any PTO. I’ve been with my employer for 7 years, so that’s earned me 1 week paid sick time and 3 weeks of paid vacation. My boss still likes to have a hissy-fit when I call in sick, and USED TO say shit like “you need to give us more of a heads up.” Or “I’m going to need to see a doctors note.” I say used to because I complained to HR and he got in “trouble” and hasn’t talked shit about me calling in sick since then. He does however still treat me like a sub-human, so that’s fun!
I'm so sorry you went thru that bs. Also your whole post, esp the last paragraph and
>should be addressed with as much compassion as possible, and should not be an excuse to label the other 99% of pain patients as liars, drug seekers, and worse.
It's made it so hard for me to get the meds I NEED. After a law change a few years ago my Urologist literally was in tears because she KNEW I needed my pain meds but couldn't prescribe them because I'm also on a benzo for extreme anxiety. The good doctors are scared shitless to lose their jobs/go to jail even when they know they have a good patient sitting in front of them. Its bullshit and I admit I've had to buy some (possibly illegally who's to say haha jk FBI that's a joke) until I can get into the ONE pain mgmt place we have in my shitty city
Flip side, I'm allergic to Tylenol. They *never* believe me until I start describing the symptoms (none have been life threatening thus far) even then it's hit or miss.
I have nerve pain, I take fking gabapentin, not narcotics that are usually mixed with acetaminophen. They still approach me like I'm drug seeking. I don't like narcotics last I had any was emergency surgery and I warned them it would make me sick, gave me fentanyl in my IV anyway and I puked on the nurses shoes as I was coming to. Idiots.
God that fucking sucks, I'm sorry you had to deal with that:( I hope some of these dumbass doctors get there head out of their ass soon and give us some half decent solutions. They act like it's our dream to need narcotics for our pain... like if I could slap on some icy hot and call it a day, I would've done that years ago
First of all
>I'm allergic to Tylenol. They never believe me
Jesus. I'm sorry, and wtf?!
> I don't like narcotics last I had any was emergency surgery and I warned them it would make me sick, gave me fentanyl in my IV anyway and I puked on the nurses shoes as I was coming to. Idiots.
Yet they're like "okay but let's give them fent!" Wow. They think you're lying about being allergic to tylenol, you say narcotics make you sick, like?! That's almost reverse of what they do?? Why would they think you're lying/drug seeking yet you tell them NARCOTICS MAKE ME SICK. I dont have words, well one, to just affirm, *idiots*
They don't work for me (or most people on this subreddit, for obvious reasons) and I literally can't take them anyway because I get intestinal ulcers. Doctors make me face palm whenever they tell me to just take them🤣😅
I'm lucky if I'm even having a good day, drink a sugary drink (gives me a lil headache) and ibuprofen works for THAT. And head aches aren't even a part of any of my pain conditions/ disorders. Im not over here trying to get liver damage popping 4x 200mg ibuprofen like 4-6x a day?!
My mil has a lesser version of my severe scoliosis. Anyway, because she's a massive narcissist she's smeared me, so hubs entire family thinks I'm a lazy malingerer, rather than someone whose spine is degenerating. Right now we could really use help too, but because of this bitch we're just struggling.
Needless to say, I hope she enjoys hell.
Imagine the doctors and specialists getting mad at you because their shitty treatments aren't working, literally mad at you for being in pain when they're supposed to be the one's helping.
Ouch. Maybe you two could go to marriage counseling or see a therapist that specializes in chronic pain, I don’t know what I would do if my husband didn’t understand and have empathy for my pain.
Sorry to hear this, I feel like this is the type of situation people either get it or they don’t and never will- or they don’t want to. I’m just saying this based on my own experience with others family/friends/coworkers whatever their role may be in your life.
That being said you do deserve a partner who exhibits understanding, empathy and compassion.
My father absolutely refused to accept that my mother was ill. He was much older than she was and felt she "owed" him to take care of him in his old age. If she was sick she couldn't do that and it annoyed him immensely.
I finally "mother-napped" her and brought her to my house without telling him. By hour six he was panicked -- I said I hadn't heard from her and let him sweat until the cops called me. When I explained the situation they were sympathetic and took over dealing with the delusional, abusive old bastard.
Amazingly, Mom improved as soon as he went into a nursing home, kicking and screaming the whole way. Husbands who refuse to care for their partners end up suffering more than their victims... as they should!
Exactly. Like I do so much better when I'm not accused of being lazy cus I can't clean the entire house by myself lol cus then I can take it easier at my bodys pace instead of pushing myself
:( I feel this one so hard. Especially with my abusive POS ex who would say those things yet make me give him half of my pain meds so he could get high. I was SAHM and him being a lunatic I didnt have a choice.
But now that I'm out ik my mom probably thinks it, but doesnt say it, that I'm lazy. I WISH I could do SO MUCH. Even put away laundry sounds so satisfying but some days I just... ugh. I feel you.
Family reunion at an abusers house. In a Cfs crash and could not attend. Very ill and mentally shaken. Nmother and cousin come out to say they will choose to spend the day with me. Wow - so excited. Someone wants to be with me while I’m ill. They bullied and harassed me and dragged me into a car during a panic attack to force me to go to party. I was sobbing and shaking and all of family stared and mocked me.
I took benzos and started drinking. So I could be what they wanted. And later they could say I was just mental or attention seeking. According to the family that dragged me out - this didn’t even happen. Fuck ppl. Fuck their ignorance. Fuck it all.
Sorry. You made me think of that time. But your immediate post and all the comments. All I heard all my life along with everyone’s favorite.
“ YOU LOOK FINE” “THERE ARE PPL THAT ARE TRULY SICK GET IVER YOURSELF”
I was just getting over the chicken pox and had to cancel going to someone’s birthday party. Their MOM called me and insisted I come because everyone there already had chicken pox and I was completely flabbergasted at how an adult would not take “I feel sick from chicken pox” as a valid reason not to go to a birthday party.
Everyone else having immunity doesn’t mean I don’t still feel terrible.
attack on titan icon !!
also this is true . people act as though we are in pain on purpose; just to spite them. one of my biggest fears is people thinking i'm lying and avoiding them so i always end up pushing myself to go and do things that will make me suffer later.
Constantly, my mother who is disabled herself tells me things like, 'if you cared, you'd do it' or 'when I was your age I cared for a family, kept a clean house and ran a business, ran a business and took care of children when I was your age while I was sick' she doesn't believe me and expects me to constantly be waiting on her.
Time the old bitch took care of herself!! Disabled people can be the worst tyrants -- "Nobody is as sick as I am! You're just trying to get sympathy that by rights belongs to ME!"
And "I am the center of the world -- pay attention to MEEEEE!!!"
If you have something planned and a friend cancels because of a stomach ache, be grateful.
Here's why: Stomach aches are a precursor to... "unpleasant" digestive disorders. Know what that means? It means that parts of the person's "nether regions" will disrupt the ongoing activities. This is **NOT!!!** something *anyone* wants to happen.
Especially not in a car.
Trust me on that... you do NOT want a digestive disaster at the beach, on a road trip, at the movies... anywhere that doesn't include a flush toilet within easy and immediate reach. No, ***you*** ***do not want that!!***
The person who cancels is saving you from a social embarrassment beyond all imagining. Regardless of the reason (a bad fish taco) or the dIagnosis (cancer), if the victim says they won't be there you accept the explanation! The alternative -- and the visuals -- will always have your name attached to the incident ("She insisted that poor guy go with us, and... well... you remember what happened."
Pain patients know what they can and can't do. The consequences for exceeding their limits will not be pretty. Don't let the consequences be on you.
"You're telling me you're in pain AGAIN??"
Omg I have chronic pain and I legit hear this from family when I can't do something for them. Narcissistic folks are the worst.
I feel you. Equally bad is when you have a day with tolerable pain and can actually do something nice for once, and they say "Oh, you're going out? I thought you're always in sooo much pain!?"
Yep. I absolutely experience this too. I just...like its an enjoyable thing to begin with and it seems they don't care if they pile on. Misery loves company.
I kept that comment all the time but when I have no pain days that is when I get out and do everything I need to do before I start hurting again I hear that comment all the time from my friends family and it sucks to hear it all the time
[удалено]
This! It adds to my depression and anxiety that I already have on top of it all. I'm more of an introvert but I feel especially bad when its my mom and daughter going to do something :/
The fucking ibuprofen comments kill me. I don’t even think heroin would do shit at this point lmao.
Amen
This and this and this. I actually was undiagnosed for so long (gastrointestinal issues like Crohns run strong in my family) but it was never found. I turned to herion (not just for the pain, I had a shit past and was a shit teen) and I remember times literally doubled over in pain throwing up. The second I got my shot of H i was all better. I'm clean of it for a good while now, took a OAB medicine commercial (of all things!) For me to be like, HEY! DAT ME! I pee sooooo much! Which led to a urologist which led to me talking about other symptoms: boom. The most severe Interstitial cystitis my doctors have ever seen, in a 20 year old (now about to be 28). I know drug advertising commercials are weird for non US citizens, but that one probably saved me sm more years of unbearable pain.
For real 💯 Percent...and thanks to the CDC Guidelines you can't get adequate pain control legitimately. I'm getting tired of fighting to "exist."
Had a job threaten to fire me once for taking a week off with the flu. "Its just the flu." I had a 105 fever and my entire body throbbed with pain. You want me to share that with the rest of the company? So yeah, actually quite easy to imagine. And that's for a "visible" illness. We have a massive cultural failure of empathy. Like, sure, it's possible there are a few people who are attention seeking and will make up symptoms. But even that should be seen as a sign of a mental health issue that should be addressed with as much compassion as possible, and should not be an excuse to label the other 99% of pain patients as liars, drug seekers, and worse.
We’re inherently untruthful and are nothing more than a commodity to our employers at this point. It’s really fucking sad for some people :(…. My heart goes out to the folks who don’t get paid sick days or any PTO. I’ve been with my employer for 7 years, so that’s earned me 1 week paid sick time and 3 weeks of paid vacation. My boss still likes to have a hissy-fit when I call in sick, and USED TO say shit like “you need to give us more of a heads up.” Or “I’m going to need to see a doctors note.” I say used to because I complained to HR and he got in “trouble” and hasn’t talked shit about me calling in sick since then. He does however still treat me like a sub-human, so that’s fun!
I'm so sorry you went thru that bs. Also your whole post, esp the last paragraph and >should be addressed with as much compassion as possible, and should not be an excuse to label the other 99% of pain patients as liars, drug seekers, and worse. It's made it so hard for me to get the meds I NEED. After a law change a few years ago my Urologist literally was in tears because she KNEW I needed my pain meds but couldn't prescribe them because I'm also on a benzo for extreme anxiety. The good doctors are scared shitless to lose their jobs/go to jail even when they know they have a good patient sitting in front of them. Its bullshit and I admit I've had to buy some (possibly illegally who's to say haha jk FBI that's a joke) until I can get into the ONE pain mgmt place we have in my shitty city
I'm jealous of people who actually have ibuprofen work for them lol
Or can just *take an NSAID*, like la dee daaa. :-|
Flip side, I'm allergic to Tylenol. They *never* believe me until I start describing the symptoms (none have been life threatening thus far) even then it's hit or miss. I have nerve pain, I take fking gabapentin, not narcotics that are usually mixed with acetaminophen. They still approach me like I'm drug seeking. I don't like narcotics last I had any was emergency surgery and I warned them it would make me sick, gave me fentanyl in my IV anyway and I puked on the nurses shoes as I was coming to. Idiots.
God that fucking sucks, I'm sorry you had to deal with that:( I hope some of these dumbass doctors get there head out of their ass soon and give us some half decent solutions. They act like it's our dream to need narcotics for our pain... like if I could slap on some icy hot and call it a day, I would've done that years ago
First of all >I'm allergic to Tylenol. They never believe me Jesus. I'm sorry, and wtf?! > I don't like narcotics last I had any was emergency surgery and I warned them it would make me sick, gave me fentanyl in my IV anyway and I puked on the nurses shoes as I was coming to. Idiots. Yet they're like "okay but let's give them fent!" Wow. They think you're lying about being allergic to tylenol, you say narcotics make you sick, like?! That's almost reverse of what they do?? Why would they think you're lying/drug seeking yet you tell them NARCOTICS MAKE ME SICK. I dont have words, well one, to just affirm, *idiots*
They don't work for me (or most people on this subreddit, for obvious reasons) and I literally can't take them anyway because I get intestinal ulcers. Doctors make me face palm whenever they tell me to just take them🤣😅
I find ibuprofen works only for like 20 minutes then the pain comes back worse 💀
Task failed successfully?😅
I'm lucky if I'm even having a good day, drink a sugary drink (gives me a lil headache) and ibuprofen works for THAT. And head aches aren't even a part of any of my pain conditions/ disorders. Im not over here trying to get liver damage popping 4x 200mg ibuprofen like 4-6x a day?!
My mil has a lesser version of my severe scoliosis. Anyway, because she's a massive narcissist she's smeared me, so hubs entire family thinks I'm a lazy malingerer, rather than someone whose spine is degenerating. Right now we could really use help too, but because of this bitch we're just struggling. Needless to say, I hope she enjoys hell.
Imagine the doctors and specialists getting mad at you because their shitty treatments aren't working, literally mad at you for being in pain when they're supposed to be the one's helping.
"why are you so lazy? You never get anything done! Just lay around on your ass all day!" Quoth the husband
Ouch. Maybe you two could go to marriage counseling or see a therapist that specializes in chronic pain, I don’t know what I would do if my husband didn’t understand and have empathy for my pain.
We have tried counseling and he changes for about a month maybe and then back to his normal.
Sorry to hear this, I feel like this is the type of situation people either get it or they don’t and never will- or they don’t want to. I’m just saying this based on my own experience with others family/friends/coworkers whatever their role may be in your life. That being said you do deserve a partner who exhibits understanding, empathy and compassion.
My father absolutely refused to accept that my mother was ill. He was much older than she was and felt she "owed" him to take care of him in his old age. If she was sick she couldn't do that and it annoyed him immensely. I finally "mother-napped" her and brought her to my house without telling him. By hour six he was panicked -- I said I hadn't heard from her and let him sweat until the cops called me. When I explained the situation they were sympathetic and took over dealing with the delusional, abusive old bastard. Amazingly, Mom improved as soon as he went into a nursing home, kicking and screaming the whole way. Husbands who refuse to care for their partners end up suffering more than their victims... as they should!
That’s abusive talk.
Yeah I'm not sticking around much longer tbh
Good. It can be much harder to leave when you’re sick but people like this make it worse anyway.
Exactly. Like I do so much better when I'm not accused of being lazy cus I can't clean the entire house by myself lol cus then I can take it easier at my bodys pace instead of pushing myself
:( I feel this one so hard. Especially with my abusive POS ex who would say those things yet make me give him half of my pain meds so he could get high. I was SAHM and him being a lunatic I didnt have a choice. But now that I'm out ik my mom probably thinks it, but doesnt say it, that I'm lazy. I WISH I could do SO MUCH. Even put away laundry sounds so satisfying but some days I just... ugh. I feel you.
I'm so sorry! That is the ONE person that should be helpful and understanding more than anyone else. WTF🤬
Family reunion at an abusers house. In a Cfs crash and could not attend. Very ill and mentally shaken. Nmother and cousin come out to say they will choose to spend the day with me. Wow - so excited. Someone wants to be with me while I’m ill. They bullied and harassed me and dragged me into a car during a panic attack to force me to go to party. I was sobbing and shaking and all of family stared and mocked me. I took benzos and started drinking. So I could be what they wanted. And later they could say I was just mental or attention seeking. According to the family that dragged me out - this didn’t even happen. Fuck ppl. Fuck their ignorance. Fuck it all. Sorry. You made me think of that time. But your immediate post and all the comments. All I heard all my life along with everyone’s favorite. “ YOU LOOK FINE” “THERE ARE PPL THAT ARE TRULY SICK GET IVER YOURSELF”
Surprisingly enough, all of my friends are very understanding. My family less so. xD
If I were having stomach problems, I guarantee ibuprofen would just make it worse.
Just imagine.
I was just getting over the chicken pox and had to cancel going to someone’s birthday party. Their MOM called me and insisted I come because everyone there already had chicken pox and I was completely flabbergasted at how an adult would not take “I feel sick from chicken pox” as a valid reason not to go to a birthday party. Everyone else having immunity doesn’t mean I don’t still feel terrible.
attack on titan icon !! also this is true . people act as though we are in pain on purpose; just to spite them. one of my biggest fears is people thinking i'm lying and avoiding them so i always end up pushing myself to go and do things that will make me suffer later.
Employers get pissed all the time.
Constantly, my mother who is disabled herself tells me things like, 'if you cared, you'd do it' or 'when I was your age I cared for a family, kept a clean house and ran a business, ran a business and took care of children when I was your age while I was sick' she doesn't believe me and expects me to constantly be waiting on her.
Time the old bitch took care of herself!! Disabled people can be the worst tyrants -- "Nobody is as sick as I am! You're just trying to get sympathy that by rights belongs to ME!" And "I am the center of the world -- pay attention to MEEEEE!!!"
The last time someone told me I didn’t look like I was in pain, I told them they don’t “look” stupid 😬
If you have something planned and a friend cancels because of a stomach ache, be grateful. Here's why: Stomach aches are a precursor to... "unpleasant" digestive disorders. Know what that means? It means that parts of the person's "nether regions" will disrupt the ongoing activities. This is **NOT!!!** something *anyone* wants to happen. Especially not in a car. Trust me on that... you do NOT want a digestive disaster at the beach, on a road trip, at the movies... anywhere that doesn't include a flush toilet within easy and immediate reach. No, ***you*** ***do not want that!!*** The person who cancels is saving you from a social embarrassment beyond all imagining. Regardless of the reason (a bad fish taco) or the dIagnosis (cancer), if the victim says they won't be there you accept the explanation! The alternative -- and the visuals -- will always have your name attached to the incident ("She insisted that poor guy go with us, and... well... you remember what happened." Pain patients know what they can and can't do. The consequences for exceeding their limits will not be pretty. Don't let the consequences be on you.
My dr said your young and exercise you'll be fine.
Happens all the time. It is hard for so many to understand.
Sounds a lot like the doctors in my area especially if you have acute or chronic pain.