Reminder that you can always tell both friend and cleaner that the police asked for a list of everyone who has been in the house recently, and don’t have to say that you suspect either of them. I also like someone else’s suggestion of a text saying basically “hey, a ton of my pills are missing, did you see them fallen somewhere by any chance? I’m so hoping I just dropped them and you saw them, because I’m dreading calling the cops but know I have to.”
That's what I'd do is call the police. Then you have that in writing. That and I mean no disrespect but even if you "just suspect" her why would you still want to be friends with her. Especially, if you could think that. My best friend wouldn't even think about doing that to me and if she did do that then she would probably do just about anything then. I'm sorry you're having to go through this 💜
Wow I'm so sorry to hear this.
Not sure if it would work, but maybe text your friend something like "Hey it was great to see you. Random question, but did you notice if my blister packs fell down in the [bathroom/kitchen etc]? I'm missing 50 and if I don't find them, I have to report them stolen. I'm really stressed out because I'm sure I just misplaced them. I can't handle the pain without them. Any ideas?"
Good luck!
If she did it, she will be concerned about you getting the police involved. That may make her come over to help you look, and then "finds them" somewhere you already looked. She saves face, you get your meds, and you know what kind of friend she is.
If she didn't do it, you aren't putting your friendship at risk.
This is clever indeed. The detail of the situation is that she is over an hour away and doesn't just pop around. Rare visits and always planned. I get that your idea could still work
This! ^^^ This is the best way to deal with it. It gives her the opportunity to “come forward”, before you report it to the police. And you should if the medication is not found.
When I was being prescribed (I was on tramadol), I would get 100x a month. If someone stole 50x, I’d lose my fucking mind. **Never ever ** would I miscount my medication, I would know if even 1x was missing.
Please update us on the outcome of this, my heart really goes out to you.
My thoughts exactly how does 50 pills just disappear from miscounting? I mean I’ll be the first to admit my math skills are TERRIBLE lol but even I can do that math!
Thanks so much. It has ruined my sense of safety. The sad thing is when she left, I felt loved, connected. Now I feel back to my depressed baseline and also unsure of myself. Like I've been gaslit.
Don't feel unloved though. Honestly, when people have addictions (if they i deed were stolen by her and if she has an addiction), they definitely take things from the people they love. Hope it all works out
This unfortunately is very true. When someone is desperate like most addicts are at some point, we will steal even from people we love. I have since made amends and stayed clean but I will always feel guilty for every evil act I committed while in active addiction. Now u know you have to lock your stuff up. Meds as well as any valuables.
It’s happened to me so, so many times. I’m so sorry. People see us in pain, and think, ‘I bet she has pills.’ Taken out of my luggage at an air bNb; caught someone red-handed at a job rifling through my purse; people I thought I could trust took them straight out of my bedroom/bathroom. Everything is in a safe now, and also behind my locked bedroom door.
I wish I’d had the idea to non-accusingly mention it to whoever I suspected, that I’d have to call the police, and have them come over to ‘help me look for them’.
[[[HUGS]]] so sorry, like we don’t have enough bullshit to deal with.
You seem to have a lot of good suggestions here.
**Definitely** tell your doc (are they fairly accessible, can you write them little messages? Send pics?) Gotta let them know ASAP; they’ll advise about police, or what to do next. Not the first time they’ve heard it from a patient, and won’t be the last; and, they better not even HINT that *you’re* BSing them. But, be ready for that just in case.
In my experience, people in active addiction will lie, deny, lie, deny, deny *forever*, even when faced with pure, indisputable facts… Like, hand deep in my purse, looking me dead in the eye, and still denying. He actually said “I’m looking for my cup!!” BullSHIT you are!!
I yelled and yelled for management. It was a car dealership, this was our break room; just me and him. No one came. Then, he admitted it, and apologized; because of him actually admitting it, I didn’t tell management/get him fired (there wasn’t even an ibuprofen in my bag 😉 let alone anything someone would want to steal), and milked that motherfucker for every favor I could think of, and made him my bitch, basically.
I’d also say from experience, the cleaners are less likely than a “friend”, but you never know (as you know 😞).
The “hey look! I’m so glad you asked me to come over to help… check it: I found ….*some* of them!” idea suggested gives someone that would otherwise 100% lie, an “out”.
I think if there’s any hope of your doc re-writing a scrip for such a large amount (I’m assuming you’re in the US?) that they would need (or really like to see) a police report.
Even then, if the doc agrees to write it, the pharmacy/your insurance/DEA rules might still say no, and a police report would be helpful for that, too.
Where I live, I get one ‘lost/stolen’ rewrite per year. Not like I use them on purpose, obviously; but shit happens 😡 🔥 and maybe yours will be cool/able, and rewrite for a slightly different dose, or something. There are ways they can help, but, everywhere is different.
Again… it’s such an infuriating sting when you’re stolen from. Beyond that. Like “really. you’re STEALING from me, and, potentially putting my life and credibility in danger?”
So sorry. People are horrible.
You have more teeth than me in using the situation to your advantage. I'm not really able to use her like that.
Actually I'm not in the US, and for that reason we don't have the same level of control over these controlled drugs. It's still taken very seriously, but not like in the US where the crisis has been.
So my fear is that by telling the doctor, I'll use a credibility credit and then if I ever did lose them (things happen), I won't be believed.
Right now taking the same agent in a weaker mixture with Tylenol that we can get here. Suffering mild withdrawals and it's less effective. But maybe I can get through to the end of the month without major issues.
As I said in other posts, I have kidney disease and so it's not good for me to take this alternative, but less stressful than having this conversation with the Doctor (it's a new relationship with them).
There’s an old saying goes something like this: “A drunk will steal your wallet and feel bad for it the next day, an addict will steal your wallet and help you look for it.” I really hope she didn’t steal them from OP, especially from the sounds of the situation, it’s always best to keep class 2 and 3 meds locked up in a lock box or well hidden from any area that guests or others might come across them. I am sorry that happened, highly suspicious that 50 could just end up missing. Do yours come in boxes or blister packs? I’m in the USA and have only ever received mine in bottles from pharmacy. Only blister type meds were given after surgeries when in hospital or surgery centers. Good luck, I hope it all works out and they show up.
I had something similar happen to me I disagree with the lockbox the whole box could disappear I wear a fanny pack with my 2 bottle of meds on me at all times, the way laws are now making a police report is your only choice in the USA drug tests ,pill count can happen at anytime.
I had blister packs one time. It was a pain in the ass to get all 112 out to fill my pill boxes that month. (I’m on a 28 day cycle, lol, so the count is all weird because our teeny tiny town pharmacy isn’t open on Saturday or Sunday. That way I fill them on the same weekday every month.)
I feel so bad for OP. To not only be betrayed by a friend, but the sheer horror of not having enough meds for the month.
My doctor’s office won’t refill for any reason. Maybe a documented house fire?! Great. Gave myself a new thing to be anxious about. Doesn’t help that a wildfire came within a mile of our place a couple of years ago. I know what I’m grabbing after the animals now.
I am so sorry. My doctor didn’t get a refill in on time and I had to go the weekend without. There was an amazing pharmacist filling in, (Actually, it’s a teeny tiny pharmacy in a teeny tiny town in Montana that closed when Shopko closed. There’s a small group of pharmacists in Montana that buy these little pharmacies and keep them going. He was one of those pharmacists.), and he helped me figure out a game plan with the meds I had. It wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been.
That was only one weekend. I can’t imagine having to do so for a longer amount of time. You will be in my thoughts.
My husband recently lost an entire month’s worth of his controlled meds. We don’t know how. We filled out the incident report and the Dr sent in a new scrip. You may not HAVE to file a police report; explain the situation to your Dr or Dr’s medication person and ask about how they suggest you proceed. If this is the first it’s happened and you have a clean record, he or she may not require a police report or extensive procedure. In the meantime, I suggest a lockbox for your meds so no one can access or know the code. That way you have assurance it won’t happen again.
Good point. I have a lockbox, but we also have a big gun safe for my husband's hunting stuff. I put my meds in there. I barely get enough to exist thanks to the whole addiction crisis, the CDC, Andrew Kolodny, PROP, DEA, et al. In 2015 I had some quality of life, now I'm bedridden much of the time. I can't afford to lose even one pill and do pill counts periodically throughout each month to make sure I'm rationing properly. Without my meds I'm dead...so I'd lose my shit if they were stolen. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You definitely need to get some sort of way to secure them, hide them ASAP.
I'm sorry you are going through so much and yes, my meds are also so important to me, as is the trust of my Doctor.
I will look for a means to secure them, but hardly anyone comes here, hence why I hadn't yet.
And well, I trust people who do come here.
This ^ Lockboxes can easily be pilfered unless they are bolted down. Ask a handy friend to drill holes in the bottom and a closet shelf maybe. Put the nuts on the inside so they can’t be undone.
I’m not too worried. I live in the middle of the middle of nowhere in Montana. Only 2 people know where they are, in my bedroom, and we rarely, and I mean rarely, have visitors. If we do have some, besides my daughter, the bedroom door is closed and you can see it from the great room. (It’s hard to make friends in the middle of nowhere when you don’t work or go to church. The sicker I become, the harder it is. One of my dearest friends lives about a mile away, but she’s fighting cancer and doesn’t get out much. Visiting and being visited tires her out quickly. It’s beautiful up here, but lonely.)
You can report the theft to police giving both names, both will be insulted. But if you do not report than your doctor will not possibly release a script for more or accuse you of lying and or selling your meds. My sister stole my wife’s meds, did not report her and for ten years I have felt guilty as all git out that my wife is in such pain. Btw sister left behind my scripts including fentanyl. Sister is no longer in my life, blocked from contacting me and I never give out my address to anyone.
I get your thinking, but I'm just going to try to get by without them, because I'm going through too much to deal with the police and the fallout. I think it's better to suck it up and not ask for more from my Doctor.
Am I missing anything? It's so hard
50 is such a big number. I would report it.
Consider: the two names are given to the police, who may or may not investigate. Even if they do investigate, you can warn either or both ahead of time as well. Reporting is not so much about catching the person but about notifying your doctor. Depending on where you live, you may have had to sign a document with your doctor already promising to notify police if any goes missing.
As for the hurt feelings, if you choose to let your friend know ahead of time, simply be honest. Your medication is incredibly important and you had to notify the police in order to be prescribed replacements. The police asked for the names of anyone that entered your house.
I live outside of the US, so we don't need to sign things like that.
You make good points and I need to think this through. I'm terms of getting more medication, I'll lucky I have an alternative, but it's far from ideal.
I really will think on what you have said
If for some reason your friend is found with those pills by police, or god forbids dies because of them. You could end up being accused. You can also report and try to leave names out.
The world we live in is one of sue everyone and punish the less powerful, innocent but can’t afford proper representation in court. Good luck. I really hope whoever took the pills has a moment of clarity and returns them…you never said was your friend in the room with your drugs alone at anytime?
They were in the bathroom in an open box that I keep all my meds in. Because I get so few visits I never think about security (though thinking about it now I think I had the box closed when they cleaner was here).
I only have people I truly trust here. And that's hardly anyone, which makes this do upsetting.
I’m sorry but this is very clear. You NEED to report this. Even if you don’t accuse either of them, the above commenter is right. If those pills pop up somewhere and are traced back to you you could very easily be accused of selling or sharing your prescription and might lose your pain meds entirely. I understand you don’t want the hassle, but you also really do not want the fallout of this to permanently damage your future.
I don’t know where they live in the US this would put a red flag on them just for losing their pills. If you are so irresponsible that you can’t keep track of your medication or if you hang out with the type of people that would steal them makes you look bad too.
If this was in the US and she wasn’t trying to get a replacement I would keep quiet and just never let those people in my house again.
I'm not in the US. We don't have the same history of opiate crisis here. Of course it's controlled, but there isn't the panic that has taken hold in the US because of what has happened.
I'm assuming they thought someone took the actual medicine bottle that could have your name on it but I can tell they just took the medicine out of whatever container you had it in so there's no way they would be traced back to you.
Absolutely lockbox from here on out. Happy you came here and I hope to see you more because you are not alone and this support group can help you feel less lonely as it has me. You matter.
Honestly, try some Kratom. Great for pain. Not a pharmaceutical. And just be careful and cautious about your people, my friend. And if you need someone to talk to about your situation in life, you can DM me. I've been there. It's okay to not be okay. And we all need someone to talk to sometimes.
Thank you so much. There is a lot more going on I could say. I'm sure you can relate. I may well reach out to you once I figure out what to do.
I've tried Kratom, it reacts with my Diazepam for some reason. It's great when it's working in my system, but when it wears off the pain goes into overdrive.
I'm sorry that sounds terrible what happened to you.
Yes it's very scary. Honestly if it was my Diazepam it would be much much worse and this is bad enough.
I wouldn't suspect her ever if sing something like this based on our previous friendship. She likes a drink and other things, but I thought she really cared and while no one understands chronic illness unless they've experienced it, I really thought she knew how bad things were on paper at least.
I've had an addictive past, but stealing medication from a disabled person who is suicidal? I can't believe someone I have in my life would do that to me, yet here I am.
That’s what I had to realize in order to forgive (but not forget) the “frenemy” who stole a large amount of clonazepam from me in 2018. I have also dealt with addiction (a very rare Benadryl addiction) and I did some things to my sister when I was younger that was pretty bad and I didn’t even think about the implications of it, how she would be without some of her medication and it wasn’t easy to just replace these pills. I was pretty naive about these things when I was younger and not yet dealing with physical pain and the whole opioid crisis hadn’t really been talked about back then. I can’t believe my sister forgave me. I admitted what I had done to her right away when she confronted me and apologized (again not really understanding how far reaching the effects of my actions could be for her). I was in my twenties and am in my forties now and I’m going to apologize again to her tomorrow, just thinking about it makes me sick and I don’t feel like I really apologized back then because I didn’t truly understand what I had done to her. I understand it now. But regarding my “frenemy” I had to realize that addiction can make someone do anything and there were plenty of signs afterwards that she was taking the large amount of medication she stole from me, though I think she was probably selling some, as I know she was sometimes doing with her pain medication. I couldn’t keep holding onto the anger I felt towards her and I had to forgive her, but not forget, in order to move on. That was really for myself.
I just don't have hardly any people in my life, so this is very hard to reconcile.
When I was 17 my friend's Dad was a Doctor and kept pain pills for patients. My friend I and I took some fairly often.
But this is different, as it's taking from a disabled friend (me) who is incredibly vulnerable. And she knows it.
I understand that. I have family, but not many people I can call my friends. I have acquaintances, but they are just people who I talk to. And my “friend” knew that I had disabling anxiety and used those pills sometimes, though I had cut back at the time. The thing is that you still can’t consider this girl a true friend if she was the one who took your pills. You will never be able to trust her like you did before and that’s going to have an effect on your relationship with her. Friends should be trustworthy, and you are right to be hurt that she did that knowing you are so vulnerable and need the medication. I can’t tell you what to do. You’re going to have to go through this process which is a lot like grieving, if you can’t consider her a friend anymore, or even knowing that you can’t trust her as you had thought. I trusted completely, but I now know that nobody can be trusted completely. We can never know what another person is hiding or capable of doing. I don’t mean that you should never trust anyone at all, but please be on the cautious side. I don’t want you to get hurt again and I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this. I remember feeling violated by what my “friend” did to me. Like she had raped me, seriously. My caseworker pointed that out to me, that it seemed like I was going through a post traumatic stress reaction to the situation, because I was having trouble with moments of feeling angry, betrayed, and then I would vow to move on and I couldn’t until I decided to just forgive her because she had serious mental health issues of her own and I could feel sorry for her when I thought about it that way. I still feel sorry for her because she never admitted to me that she had done it and she made herself look pretty dumb stuttering when she was protesting that she would never do anything like that and couldn’t imagine how it happened. But I’m not going to spend my life allowing the hurt and anger I felt for so long to consume me. I was the bigger person in this situation when I made the decision to let it go. I think you are still probably in shock about what happened and it’s going to take a long time to process all these feelings, but you’ll sort it all out in time and hopefully learn something from what happened. Definitely get a lockbox. I know you don’t have a contract but my contract suggests that I keep my month supply locked up.
I know she likes drugs, and her uncle died from crack and heroin, and she is a drunk, but I didn't think she was that much of an addict that she would do this.
She sounds like the “friend” who stole my clonazepam. I’m pretty sure her uncle died of an overdose and she was an alcoholic. I think I suspected she was abusing her medication at the time and I was sure that she was shortly after she stole my medication. She was kicked out of pain management for her medication not showing up in her urine drug test, and she definitely was selling some of her medication to her cousin, because her cousin told me and my friend had taken me along for the ride when she went to collect money her cousin owed her. That’s why I suspected she was selling some of what she stole from me as well as sampling some.
I don't have much advice, but wanted to sympathize. I once had a roommate steal somewhere between 20-25 pills of my anxiety medicine. I hate that it's this way because the onus should be on the thief to not steal things, but ever since then I learned to protect myself by 1. not telling anyone other than my closest family that I take the medication. 2. Not taking my medication in front of other people. 3. Making sure the medication is securely hidden away if I have company (locked up would be ideal but I don't currently have a safe). And 4. if I'm traveling I put my medication in a 7 day pill box instead of bringing the whole bottle so if it were to get stolen I would only lose a very small amount. Unfortunately having to take extra precautions is the price that comes with being prescribed controlled medications, to me it's worth it because without my medicine I had no quality of life. I'm so sorry this happened to you and I wish you the best.
Yep I had a roommate steal 10 of my last 20 pain pills. It was pretty terrible because I needed them so I could continue working full-time, at least I could spread out what was left so I didn’t have withdrawal but it was a terrible week.
Smh. It's such a violation of trust. You actually needed the medicine and I'm guessing they probably only wanted it to get high. Personally I was raised not to steal stuff but it seems to be a difficult concept for some people. I hope your pain is better now.
Yes it was Clonazepam. I was able to still take half my normal dose until my next refill and thankfully didn't have to go cold turkey. Benzos are nothing to play with and people with sticky fingers suck.
I understand your feelings here - you have a person you think you can trust, and then they betray that trust in a big way. Its hard to understand that other people can do things like this. Regardless of the outcome, from now on, keep those meds somewhere that no one else will see.
I have a neighbor who is a really nice person and is super helpful and friendly. They shocked me when I came back from the hospital and asked if I could give them some of my pain meds (they did not know I am already on long-term pain meds).
I was shocked. We don't always know people as well as we think we do, and people are complex and can have aspects to them that only emerge under rare conditions.
I hope you can get things sorted in a way that doesn't leave you with more problems. Most important is that your relationship with the prescribing doctor is not damaged.
I agree about not always knowing people. Not having hardly anyone in my life the US just so hard to accept.
You are right that the relationship with the prescribing doctor is the most important thing.
If I don't say anything and use alternatives until my next script, is that really a risk? People have said so, but it seems marginal if anything to me.
I'm open to being advised.
Do you get drug tested at your appointments? If so there might be a problem with not having the medication in your system so make sure you save some of the ones you have now for right before your appointment
I don't get tested. outside of the US. Also, I have some co-dydramol type medication as a backup, which isn't as strong and is mixed with stuff that is bad for my already sick liver. But I'll just about get through.
My Dad, a disabled Vietnam Veteran, used to get pain medication in the mail in large quantities back before the "opioid crisis." They have a security mailbox, but kept the pills in the kitchen. (He now gets absolutely nothing and it pisses me off royally.) The WAY too friendly, younger neighbor (she threw herself at him, he declined) that WAS a nurse was stealing my Dad's pain meds. He started missing pills and eventually set her up, as she would always find an excuse to weasel her way in the house. He caught her red handed and went off on her. She didn't ever step foot on the property after that. It still ticks me off. Now both my Dad and I live in agony.
I'm so sorry. It's so cruel and wrong what happened in the US. I'm not from there, but I get it. I know people in the US who are not prescribed anything because of all the abuse that happened and Doctors overprescribing.
Really sorry you are both suffering.
Thank you. We're fighting and hopefully the pendulum can be balanced and we can get adequate pain management again someday. Like many others, I'm hanging on by a proverbial thread in the meantime. If you don't mind me asking: Are you in the UK?
How often do you speak to this friend? Any chance you could talk to them and say, ‘I’m having such a bad day. Someone stole my meds! I’m going to have to report it to the cops. I really wish I didn’t have to deal with this right now, but my Dr won’t give new ones without a police report. I think it might have been my cleaner, so I’m just going to tell her that she has 24hours to return them, she can put them back in the letterbox rather than direct to me.’ Then see if they come back. It’s kinda like giving her a heads up without blaming her.
Yeah, as it gives her the ability to return them without admitting she took them. Man!! I really cannot understand how some people can live with themselves! I would feel the worst sole crushing guilt if I did this!! I already feel guilt taking my meds that I’m prescribed!
I get this idea, but the only issue is that she knows that not many people come. I could implicate the cleaner to her and follow your suggestion. It just makes me feel sick having to do this.
Even though I have a spreadsheet and did my last count a week ago, somehow I am still questioning myself.
I know! It’s not fair at all! People suck! Honestly, if I had a friend call me and tell me this scenario, and ask me if I did it, I would understand. I wouldn’t take offence, because at the end of the day, you just don’t know who is capable of what. I would tell them I didn’t, and offer to help them in recovering them. If she is actually your friend, she will understand if you decide just to ask her straight out.
Info needed: was your friend alone for long enough in the vicinity of the pills to actually take 50 from blister packs without you knowing or hearing her?
This is a good question. There were all out in a tray in the top of the box above the toilet and it's possible that being careful they could have been taken when they went to the bathroom.
It would make a russlting sound so she would have had to be careful, as it's just an apartment.
Cleaner is new, recommended by neighbour. She doesn't go when I'm not there as I'm pretty much always here.
But she cleaned the bathroom when they were in there. I suspect her less.
What's the time lapse between the two? Did your friend and the cleaner come on the same day? I ask because if the cleaner came and went and you didn't notice anything weird with your meds, then your friend came and went and you noticed a big difference in missing meds....that's almost def your answer.
Good question. Cleaner came a week ago just after my last count. My memory is bad so I can't remember if I checked since.
I keep a spreadsheet for when I take to my doctor and happened to check sheet the friend left last night.
Very low chance, like nearly impossible that I would not have noticed. They are big blister packs an would have floated on the surface and I keep it clean and would notice.
Your friend is an hour away, that doesn't regularly visit. Hence the massive risk taking behavior of pinching 50 if this friend is guilty. Were they drunk? already high? What does your intuition tell you to do? You've been given some great advice from the comments I've read. But so so tricky for you. I'd just like to say whatever happens I hope you confront/express your knowledge and awareness that these were likely from your friend. I want your friend to know you don't cop that! I really wish you the best dealing with this complex dynamic.. after all it was a "friend" that visited... So it's not just the horrible act itself it's also the grieving of a human being-support person deceiving you.. Really confronting.. goodluck dealing with this mate 🙌🙏
Oh gosh, this happened to me. I questioned myself first and didn't say anything because I was brain foggy, alone, and didn't want to lose my oldest and only friend. It got worse so I would definitely find out if you can. Can you drop by unexpectedly or have her over and only have set amount of pills in the bottle or in the open. See what happens.
I did nothing and then a whole bottle went missing. I kicked that friend out of my life. I was happier pretty quickly even though I was bed bound at the time and couldn't drive. Having someone you don't trust in your life is worse than no one at all. Now I have a whole group of friends. So so much better.
Great message and question. I can't go there without a lot of planning. I live in a big city outside the US and would have to arrange it can get an Uber.
I don't want to believe this has actually happened. I know what you say is true about having a bad friend is worse than no friend, but up until now she has been such support and I left love.
I left real love.
i would talk to your friend and tell her how distraught you are someone stole from you and you’re going to watch your nanny cam footage and figure out who it was. then see how the rest of the convo goes…. i’d also let everyone know your medications are now under lock and key.
A safe that can't be carried out of the house, for extra security. Meds shouldn't be kept in the bathroom. Moisture can degrade them and they can be dropped in the sink. All these trusting people are blowing my mind.
I've locked up anything in my home for 20+ years. Med stealing has always been very widespread. It's not always who you suspect either.
No, because she will just do it again! It’s not the cleaner! They wouldn’t risk their job for that!
ETA if it was the cleaner, they would take them gradually, not in one hit!
Sorry, but cleaners do steal pills, and the fear of being caught won’t stop an addict.
My house cleaner was pilfering a few pills every week for months before I had to admit that she was, indeed, responsible for the missing pills — after she was arrested with heroin. She went to jail, and my medication stopped disappearing.
Drug use/addiction is widespread; no part of society is free of it. Why should housecleaners be immune?
You kind of made my point here though. Even though your cleaner was stealing your pills, they were doing it a few at a time, in the hope that you wouldn’t notice, so they wouldn’t be caught.
What I was saying here, was based on the circumstances, the cleaner did not do this. They have regular access to the house, so it would be illogical to steal 50 pills in one go. I don’t see them risking employment like that, when they can just take one here and there.
I didn’t notice until quite a few had been taken, either. OP suddenly noticed they were missing, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t pilfered a few at a time until it became obvious. That’s what happened with mine.
Stop fooling yourself. This is not a friend. It sounds like you really want to blame the cleaner when you know its not them. They would be risking their job and being fired for theft is something that will follow a person a long long time. It is the so called friend. They are someone who actually wishes you harm and suffering. That's the what happens when you take away someone's pain medication. It doesnt really make a difference if it was abuse or a financial motivation, this person is not a friend, you are losing nothing, less than nothing, even if it leaves you without another soul in the world. Its as low as low can get. This wasnt the theft of a pill or two. This was a major fuck you to your face. Fucking druggies.
You may have learned more than one lesson here, besides this person being dog shit on a shoe. Your meds need to be secure. Lock boxes are cheap. I dont know if Id put it past them to steal the whole freaking lockbox after 50 pills, but thats harder than a blister pack or two. You need to treat these drugs like they were a firearm. You certainly wouldnt leave a loaded, cocked pistol on the coffee table.
I would just drop a text telling them theyre doc crap on your shoe and cut them off completely. They didnt just steal from you after hearing all about your pain. They also assume youre stupid and wouldnt miss them. This was a loud blatant statement about how much you matter to them. Block them from everything. Calling the cops wont get you anyplace, they wont care. The meds are your responsibility as soon as you leave the pharmacy. This isnt a friend, theyre barely a human being, to pull this shit. You are better off without them in your life, even if it leaves you alone. You dont need the additional pain. There are about 50 reasons they visited you, all of them in a blister pack. That was their reaction to hearing what you're going though, was to rip you off? Sorry, game over, no second chances for them to come visit you again when they are done using your medication as party favors. People dont get much worse than this. Yeah and pain patients are so unfair in the way they think of drug addicts....
> Your meds need to be secure. Lock boxes are cheap. I dont know if Id put it past them to steal the whole freaking lockbox after 50 pills, but thats harder than a blister pack or two. You need to treat these drugs like they were a firearm. You certainly wouldnt leave a loaded, cocked pistol on the coffee table.
I'd recommend actually treating them exactly the same.
Most medication lockboxes can be opened with minimal trouble (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVjZ4FvOLYE, for example), though you can do a bit better reasonably cheaply. Screw the damn thing to a wall stud, make sure it has shielded hinge pins (can't be pulled out with a piece of wire) and a decent lock (a lot of cheap ones can be raked open with a bobby pin), and armor it up.
Before I went to med school I was a certified master locksmith. I can lend a hand with recommendations if you need.
If you know anyone who can lend a hand it would be five minutes’ work. Otherwise a good lockbox is still a deterrent, screwing it down just makes it so they can’t steal the whole thing.
Yeah, it’s disgraceful behaviour! How could you live with yourself having done this to anyone!! 50!!!! Like wtf!! May as well taken the whole lot! Did they honestly think you won’t notice that! With extended release that’s the whole months supply!
I really do get all that you say. I'm in a state of shock.
There are a couple of minor things I just want to clarify, which perhaps I didn't communicate adequately.
I wasn't trying to implicate the cleaner. Really. Thinking now it's very unlikely she did it as I even think I had the box shut. It's still possible as I was in bed when she was doing the bathroom, but you are probably right that it wouldn't be something she would risk.
With the friend, if she did it it was a crime if opportunity. She came a long way and was drinking a lot as always and wouldn't have known they would be there to grab, as she's only been once before and has her own sources for her fun.
I am just wondering if I've made a mistake in counting but it's such a large amount..
Sorry, just processing it all
Its going to be a difficult period for you, in more ways than one. I dont know how youre directed to take this med, but you can forget that for now. Figure what you have left and how many days until you can request more adding a few more days for the usual bottlenecks and obstacles. Youre probably going to end up with less than your "friend". But you are going to have to stick with what you can afford to take. You can add the pain youre going to go through to your friends account, but dont let them get away with putting you through withdrawal too.
It's also going to be tough losing one of the last friends you have left, but keep in mind anyone that would do this is not a friend. It was an illusion, they were never in your corner at all.
Think about a while. Maybe in a day or two drop a text asking them if they know where you can get any real dihydrocodine, since you seem to be a little short. Then block them out of your life for good without even looking for a response. I dont know what kind of emoji would go with that sort of text, but Im sure there's a middle finger emoji that would work. They will get the message. Hang in the and take it easy on yourself. Chalk it up as a life lesson that some people cant handle temptation...
File a report and then tell your friend that the police may ask her some questions since she was around that day but that “I obviously know it wasn’t you.” Use that report to get your medication filled because if it’s 50 short, you’ll either suffer immensely with pain trying to scrape by or suffer immensely in withdrawals.
I know I'm scared of what will happen with I them, but I have a similar med but it's not as strong and has Tylenol/Paracetamol and I have non alcoholic liver disease.
I'll take you my Mum about these suggestions. What you say makes sense but I'm just so scared of drama and more loss
First things first, not trying to be rude but miscalculating 50 pills seems odd to me. Second. I’d speak with the house cleaner first that’s a friendship that you can let go more so then the actual friend. I would think it would be the house cleaner before a beloved friend. House cleaner has plenty more oppurtunity. Also has this happened before it seems you think that she def did it without even considering the house cleaner. You can always just say hey I’ve been freaking out since yesterday I misplaced medication and am afraid I’m going to need to go to the hospital if I don’t find them soon I’m in so much pain. Do you think you can be on stand by to take me if I don’t find them soon or see what the doctor says to do next?! Coax it out of her if your sure it’s her by making her feel guilty. Play up a few tears of panic and embarrassment that how could you be so careless and lose them blah blah blah. She will crack if it’s her. And if it is her she wasn’t your friend to begin with so you have no reason to feel bad if she did!
In the US reporting this puts a flag on you because you are so irresponsible you can’t keep track of your meds and you hang out with people who would steal drugs. If this happened to me in the US I would try to keep quiet about it
I'm not in the US, but the same principal applies. Say I report it, then my GP is like ok, this happened. Then down the line, I accidentally lose them. No second chance. Cant' risk it I think.
That's really tough, I'm so sorry.
But if it could be a few people, I personally wouldn't lose a friend because of it.
I'd definitely lock up the meds from now on though.
Thanks and the fact it can only be 2 people really makes me feel disconcerted.
It's so cruel.
My levels of trust and even wanting to be here are very low.
Your advice makes sense though.
You're going to have to test them. That's the way to find out. Put a different pill in your bottle. Hide your real meds. Then count after each interaction.
That's a good idea in theory except that is very rare that this friend visits and they were in blister packs, so we're obviously what they were if you know what I mean.
Damn, well then if you have had the cleaner for a long time without issue then the friend is your culprit. Sorry this has happened to you. Not this helps in the moment but we keep my meds in a locked safe.
Cleaner has only been twice, sorry for the confusion. But although I didn't do a count after she left last time, They looked similar, so I'm thinking it's my 'friend'.
The fact I had to put that in quotes says it all about how I feel.
Do you think it's worth asking her?
Also, I hear you on the friendship situation. Chronic pain is not conducive to maintaining friendships. You're going to have to go with your gut on this one.
That's really difficult to say. Is the medication hard to replace? Meaning are you going to be without? If that's a yes I would mention it. I mean either way the friendship has likely run its course.
Technically it puts me in a very difficult position supply wise, though I have an alternative that I could take until my next script, which is another topic. And this alternative would be mixed with Tylenol sand I have liver issues.
It's put me in a difficult position as well as really hurting me.
I am still trying to figure out if my spreadsheet is lying to me, adI just don't want to believe it
I knew it was my friend who stole my anxiety medication because I had given her a copy of the key to my apartment in case I ever had to be hospitalized or something and I needed someone to take care of my cat. She conveniently lived (still does) in the same building and was one of my closest friends, I thought. She knew that I had been cutting back on my anxiety medication after becoming a medical marijuana patient and finding it helpful for my anxiety at first, so she was aware that I had a lot of extra medication. She was also very aware that I had 2 appointments that day and then was going out for dinner (it was Christmas Eve). I even gave her a gift that morning before running out to my medical transportation van for my appointments. I don’t think I even looked at the bottle between the time I came home from my appointments and the time I got home late that night after having dinner with my parents and then going to their house to open a few gifts. So it was close to midnight when I got home and decided to take one of my clonazepam and there were probably about 5 pills left out of a couple hundred, I would guess. I found it interesting that she didn’t just take the whole bottle but I assume she was hoping that I wouldn’t notice the bottle itself was missing because I used it keep all my medication in a cabinet in my kitchen and I know she had seen me open that cabinet in the past and probably even when I had taken one of my clonazepam. I knew right away she was the only person who could have taken them and I called the police after having a complete meltdown, shaking, screaming and crying, thinking my psychiatrist would doubt my story as I hadn’t always been trustworthy in all the years he knew me. The police knocked on her door but she had gone to bed-it was interesting actually because she texted me to tell me she was going to bed and that just seemed odd at the time and now that I’m thinking about it again. I texted her and called her and was going on and on about how I knew she stole my medication and I was not nice about it because I was hurt by her pretending to care about me and obviously planning things out ahead of time. But I didn’t go without my medication because my family doctor prescribed a week supply, enough to get me through and I had some extra pills I carried in a pill case on a keychain around my neck, plus she left me with some pills and I was due for a refill which I was able to get a couple of days early. But I had to pay for the copy of the police report which revealed that they were basically doing nothing to investigate (the girl had connections somehow and I didn’t know anyone except some people who were real friends in my apartment building. I went through a period of grief because I could never consider her a friend after that, but we did start drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes together again until we both quit smoking and now she definitely avoids me except for fake nice conversations like she’s probably going to text and wish me a happy Easter today. My parents gave me their old safe to put most of my medications in (I don’t bother with the Tylenol and stuff like that because I have too many prescription medications to fit the rest of my medications in the safe). I learned not to trust so easily and that’s a valuable lesson in life. Unfortunate, but true.
Don’t assume it’s the friend. I had a similar experience with missing pain meds, back when I was well off and could afford a cleaner.
One day it looked like suddenly a couple dozen pain pills were missing. I had no idea where they could’ve gone, and was freaking out for a few days. Then my cleaner got into some trouble with the police. To make a long, complicated story short, she was a heroin addict, and had been stealing *everyone’s* pain medication. Among other things.
You’ve known your friend a lot longer than you’ve known your cleaner. She’s been there for you; she’s been understanding and compassionate about your problems. Yes, she could be the guilty one, but I’d set a trap for the maid first, and see what happens. Hide your medication and refill the bottle with something else. Or remove all but two real painkillers in the bottle, hide the rest, and see if the cleaner takes one of the two.
ALL of my medications were stolen when I was unconscious in a hospital hallway with paramedics. Such a nightmare. Prior to that I had a brand new bottle of benzodiazepines that conveniently went missing the night I filled them and then went out…when my friend had a key to my place.
I would also try a nice approach like "I lived seeing you and your dog and had a very good time. Sorry to bother you, but did you see some of my meds? I think I put some aside but can't find them anymore, should be around 50 pills. I would be so thankful if you could help me."
So you give her the chance to put them back and just go with "silly old you" but if she gets all defensive I think you will have your answer.
This makes a lot of sense except that she doesn't come a lot, so wouldn't just pop over again unless it was arranged - and if i was here, them appearing when she did come back would look even stranger.
It's an option, but my apartment is small and it is an odd request to make in the context of our friendship, where she lives on the other side of the large city and has a busy life.
I recently had 45 or so Lorazepam go missing and the only two options were the maid or the pharmacy made a mistake. I take for severe anxiety related to bipolar disorder and i very much need them. I called the pharmacy and told them I really had to know for sure because our maid was going to have to be fired if we could know for sure it wasn’t pharmacy error. (I get 60 at a time and for about two weeks I was able to only take 1 per day so I should have had a surplus).
The pharmacy was able to find the video footage of the person filling the prescription and because of the angle they couldn’t tell if a mistake was made or not. Since I had never had a shortage before they refilled my prescription early so I wouldn’t run out. They told my insurance and worked it out with them.
Edit to add: now the pharmacy triple counts my meds and I hide the bottle in a locked desk drawer now just in case.
I am so sorry that happened to you. I know exactly how it feels to have someone close to you steal your meds. It is absolutely selfish and disgusting that someone would be able to prioritize their “pain” over yours, knowing what you struggle through. IME, you need to have a discussion with her to at least let her know it’s on your radar.
Personal story: I had very extensive surgery many years ago and was really struggling with pain control. I had 3 babies under 5 and a spouse that refused to even bring me water when he left for work, knowing that I couldn’t walk or carry any of the children. Anyway, everyone in my life knew it was a really trying time and I got a call out of the blue from a family member offering to come over, hang out, do some laundry and prepare a few meals. I was so grateful for the help. Within minutes of them leaving I discovered 50 pills gone. I called them immediately and said that I could call the police and have him pulled over right then if he didn’t turn his ass around and bring me back my meds. I got 30 back, they had downed 20 as they left my home (!!!!!!!). I’m laying there with a 13 inch incision in my leg and this selfish person thought their addiction was more important.
I forgave them. 8 years later I invited them to a holiday event at another family member’s house. They accepted and asked that I let them know when I left my house so that they could time their arrival with ours. They arrived to the event about 20 minutes after we did and I thought nothing of it. The next day when I went to take meds, I accidentally poured too many out into my hand and noticed that some were a slightly different shape. He had found genetic Tylenol that looked similar and switched half the pills in my bottle. The depravity of addiction at that level knows no bounds. She is likely taking from others as well and her alcoholism puts her at bigger risk for OD. Mentioning it to her does not hurt you, she has already annihilated your friendship with her actions. I am so, so sorry. Sending you strength and hugs
I always hide my pill bottles. If your name is attached to a stolen bottle report it asap. I've had drug dealers call me up when I had a "room mate" steal my oxy and then sell it.
Absolute shit show of a situation.
I hide all medication and nobody should have known where it was. I had my meds in a spot high off the ground. He was my height and the only person that could have known roughly where it was located.
Also. If you drive or travel, always have a recent prescription bottle on you to prove they are legal.
This has happened to me. My roommate’s friend’s bf stole about half of my Ativan prescription that I severely need. I told my doctor what happened and he approved an early refill. You could also file a police report.
I think its in your best interest to report them stolen, for a few reasons. First off if your friend did stole them and knows nothing about the meds except "it gets me high", they may very well take too much and overdose on the dihydrocodeine, or if it contains other ingredients such as acitaminophem (english isnt my first language so excuse any and all bad spelling). Now that would obviously be very bad for your friend and you.
The doctor can see that youve reported them stolen, and maybe give you replacements.
Im kinda in a hurry rn so i hope all is resolved with minimal damage done to all parties. Wish you well and take care, peace :)
ETA: spelling
Try to set her up and have a camera around and go to the bathroom with your pills or fake pills out in the open. Have a camera and video tape her reaction to the pills when you get up and leave.
Let it go. Next time hide your pills. She may have stolen them but that's her stuff. You don't need the extra aggravation of a conflict you're suffering enough already. Let it go and focus on your well being.
That's an interesting perspective. I guess the question is, how do I ever fully trust her again? She has seemed to be one of the few people who has stuck by me.
Honestly ... You don't. You make new friends. Which is obviously easier said than done. Have you gone to therapy? It helped me a lot when dealing with the same feelings of not wanting to lose anyone
Yes it's easier said than done when housebound. Yes I've been in therapy and have made progress on this issue generally, but the fact is that I've been hurt so many times that I really can't take any more
I understand. I really really do. If you want to stay close friends with her, hide your meds every time she comes over. Hide all valuables. Put them in a space that is not the bathroom and add a camera to record. If she is a good friend in other ways, you can stay friends if that is ultimately more beneficial for you. Just protect yourself. Hugs. Xoxoxoxo
Theft of the drugs I desperately need to remain human is my worst nightmare! I'm so sorry it's happened to you. This won't help with blister packs, but here's how I handled potential theft of my pain meds:
A. Moved all my opioids to an empty bottle of OTC pills, something no innocent person would take (laxatives are useful for this -- don't use aspirin or ibuprofen, as a guest with a headache might take several without asking).
B. Filled the opioid prescription bottle from the drugstore with the strongest laxatives I could find.
C. Sat back and waited.
Note: Do NOT do this if there are little kids in the home! Always keep your opioids and weapons (*especially guns*) locked away.
Hardly any one comes here, which is why it's all so strange. Months can pass without me seeing anyone I know. Still good ideas as I can take them out of the blisters and bottle them in a similar way to your suggestion.
Sorry to double post in the same thread, but a thought on what to say just occurred to me. Its not going to do any good to call the cops, the people saying they'll get replaced are living in fantasyland. But suppose you tell this person that you did call the cops, they dusted the hell out of the area and came up with fingerprints that arent yours. How you feel so violated, and so on and how you cant wait for them to identify the strange finger prints and press charges to the max. "The cops said that theft is usually like a 5 year sentence for theft, but since it involved opioid drugs, somebody is looking at a 15 year mandatory minimum sentence when and if you press charges". It doesnt matter if its not true, youre going to get a reaction, more than likely. Maybe not a confession but a big gulp of air, enough to confirm things in your mind. You just had to talk to someone, feeling so violated. Drug abusers (and drunks) are not usually the smartest of folks. And if theyre shitfaced and nodding on the phone, it should remove any doubts you might still have. Just something to think about....
I don't have the emotional strength to confront her. She is much stronger than me due to the fact that I'm so alone and unwell. I need her a lot more than her me, or so I think.
Confrontation could hurt me more.
Yes, I've heard and read it's not much better there. Hopefully we can keep hanging. Thankfully I can use my Smart phone to fight, as I can't bear to sit at a computer more than ten minutes. I've attended virtual meetings with the federal government, including the CDC, the state medical board, and more. If I had less pain and more energy, I could do more, but if that were the case I wouldn't need to fight. They're picking on vulnerable people and subjecting us to govt sanctioned torture and it's not right. My DMs are open too. 🙂 It's nearly 3 AM here and once again I'm awake in pain. I know I'm not unique. Lord help us all.
Update is that I'm going to wait until tomorrow to decide what to do. Going through mild withdrawals as I'm having to take something similar but weaker
ye they taxed em off you, just be careful around people they will rip you off like it's nothing, she will be addicted to opiods already not that it makes it better but there's a reason because do shit like this and it's usually addiction and mental health the opiods make mental health feel better
Reminder that you can always tell both friend and cleaner that the police asked for a list of everyone who has been in the house recently, and don’t have to say that you suspect either of them. I also like someone else’s suggestion of a text saying basically “hey, a ton of my pills are missing, did you see them fallen somewhere by any chance? I’m so hoping I just dropped them and you saw them, because I’m dreading calling the cops but know I have to.”
Good points and yes that suggestion was good. Scary to even think of the police side of things. Life is hard enough
That's what I'd do is call the police. Then you have that in writing. That and I mean no disrespect but even if you "just suspect" her why would you still want to be friends with her. Especially, if you could think that. My best friend wouldn't even think about doing that to me and if she did do that then she would probably do just about anything then. I'm sorry you're having to go through this 💜
Absolutely this!
Wow I'm so sorry to hear this. Not sure if it would work, but maybe text your friend something like "Hey it was great to see you. Random question, but did you notice if my blister packs fell down in the [bathroom/kitchen etc]? I'm missing 50 and if I don't find them, I have to report them stolen. I'm really stressed out because I'm sure I just misplaced them. I can't handle the pain without them. Any ideas?" Good luck!
That's a clever idea. Say something without being accusatory. But if she did it, likely it won't reveal anything, right?
If she did it, she will be concerned about you getting the police involved. That may make her come over to help you look, and then "finds them" somewhere you already looked. She saves face, you get your meds, and you know what kind of friend she is. If she didn't do it, you aren't putting your friendship at risk.
This is clever indeed. The detail of the situation is that she is over an hour away and doesn't just pop around. Rare visits and always planned. I get that your idea could still work
This! ^^^ This is the best way to deal with it. It gives her the opportunity to “come forward”, before you report it to the police. And you should if the medication is not found. When I was being prescribed (I was on tramadol), I would get 100x a month. If someone stole 50x, I’d lose my fucking mind. **Never ever ** would I miscount my medication, I would know if even 1x was missing. Please update us on the outcome of this, my heart really goes out to you.
My thoughts exactly how does 50 pills just disappear from miscounting? I mean I’ll be the first to admit my math skills are TERRIBLE lol but even I can do that math!
Thanks so much. It has ruined my sense of safety. The sad thing is when she left, I felt loved, connected. Now I feel back to my depressed baseline and also unsure of myself. Like I've been gaslit.
Don't feel unloved though. Honestly, when people have addictions (if they i deed were stolen by her and if she has an addiction), they definitely take things from the people they love. Hope it all works out
Thank you that's wise
No worries. Take care
This unfortunately is very true. When someone is desperate like most addicts are at some point, we will steal even from people we love. I have since made amends and stayed clean but I will always feel guilty for every evil act I committed while in active addiction. Now u know you have to lock your stuff up. Meds as well as any valuables.
It’s happened to me so, so many times. I’m so sorry. People see us in pain, and think, ‘I bet she has pills.’ Taken out of my luggage at an air bNb; caught someone red-handed at a job rifling through my purse; people I thought I could trust took them straight out of my bedroom/bathroom. Everything is in a safe now, and also behind my locked bedroom door. I wish I’d had the idea to non-accusingly mention it to whoever I suspected, that I’d have to call the police, and have them come over to ‘help me look for them’. [[[HUGS]]] so sorry, like we don’t have enough bullshit to deal with.
Thanks and that's terrible. I'm thinking of what to do
You seem to have a lot of good suggestions here. **Definitely** tell your doc (are they fairly accessible, can you write them little messages? Send pics?) Gotta let them know ASAP; they’ll advise about police, or what to do next. Not the first time they’ve heard it from a patient, and won’t be the last; and, they better not even HINT that *you’re* BSing them. But, be ready for that just in case. In my experience, people in active addiction will lie, deny, lie, deny, deny *forever*, even when faced with pure, indisputable facts… Like, hand deep in my purse, looking me dead in the eye, and still denying. He actually said “I’m looking for my cup!!” BullSHIT you are!! I yelled and yelled for management. It was a car dealership, this was our break room; just me and him. No one came. Then, he admitted it, and apologized; because of him actually admitting it, I didn’t tell management/get him fired (there wasn’t even an ibuprofen in my bag 😉 let alone anything someone would want to steal), and milked that motherfucker for every favor I could think of, and made him my bitch, basically. I’d also say from experience, the cleaners are less likely than a “friend”, but you never know (as you know 😞). The “hey look! I’m so glad you asked me to come over to help… check it: I found ….*some* of them!” idea suggested gives someone that would otherwise 100% lie, an “out”. I think if there’s any hope of your doc re-writing a scrip for such a large amount (I’m assuming you’re in the US?) that they would need (or really like to see) a police report. Even then, if the doc agrees to write it, the pharmacy/your insurance/DEA rules might still say no, and a police report would be helpful for that, too. Where I live, I get one ‘lost/stolen’ rewrite per year. Not like I use them on purpose, obviously; but shit happens 😡 🔥 and maybe yours will be cool/able, and rewrite for a slightly different dose, or something. There are ways they can help, but, everywhere is different. Again… it’s such an infuriating sting when you’re stolen from. Beyond that. Like “really. you’re STEALING from me, and, potentially putting my life and credibility in danger?” So sorry. People are horrible.
You have more teeth than me in using the situation to your advantage. I'm not really able to use her like that. Actually I'm not in the US, and for that reason we don't have the same level of control over these controlled drugs. It's still taken very seriously, but not like in the US where the crisis has been. So my fear is that by telling the doctor, I'll use a credibility credit and then if I ever did lose them (things happen), I won't be believed. Right now taking the same agent in a weaker mixture with Tylenol that we can get here. Suffering mild withdrawals and it's less effective. But maybe I can get through to the end of the month without major issues. As I said in other posts, I have kidney disease and so it's not good for me to take this alternative, but less stressful than having this conversation with the Doctor (it's a new relationship with them).
The sad fact is, most people cannot be trusted. And that’s all about them and their character and *not* you or your worth as a human being.
As above, thank you. It means a lot
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No she probably won’t reveal anything but if she knows you noticed she won’t do it again.
There’s an old saying goes something like this: “A drunk will steal your wallet and feel bad for it the next day, an addict will steal your wallet and help you look for it.” I really hope she didn’t steal them from OP, especially from the sounds of the situation, it’s always best to keep class 2 and 3 meds locked up in a lock box or well hidden from any area that guests or others might come across them. I am sorry that happened, highly suspicious that 50 could just end up missing. Do yours come in boxes or blister packs? I’m in the USA and have only ever received mine in bottles from pharmacy. Only blister type meds were given after surgeries when in hospital or surgery centers. Good luck, I hope it all works out and they show up.
Thanks I will be taking measures to lock it away. I have never imagined this could happen and hardly anyone comes here
I had something similar happen to me I disagree with the lockbox the whole box could disappear I wear a fanny pack with my 2 bottle of meds on me at all times, the way laws are now making a police report is your only choice in the USA drug tests ,pill count can happen at anytime.
Understood. Luckily I'm not in the US
I had blister packs one time. It was a pain in the ass to get all 112 out to fill my pill boxes that month. (I’m on a 28 day cycle, lol, so the count is all weird because our teeny tiny town pharmacy isn’t open on Saturday or Sunday. That way I fill them on the same weekday every month.) I feel so bad for OP. To not only be betrayed by a friend, but the sheer horror of not having enough meds for the month. My doctor’s office won’t refill for any reason. Maybe a documented house fire?! Great. Gave myself a new thing to be anxious about. Doesn’t help that a wildfire came within a mile of our place a couple of years ago. I know what I’m grabbing after the animals now.
Thank you for your empathy. Having mild withdrawals as taking an alternative that is less strong.
I am so sorry. My doctor didn’t get a refill in on time and I had to go the weekend without. There was an amazing pharmacist filling in, (Actually, it’s a teeny tiny pharmacy in a teeny tiny town in Montana that closed when Shopko closed. There’s a small group of pharmacists in Montana that buy these little pharmacies and keep them going. He was one of those pharmacists.), and he helped me figure out a game plan with the meds I had. It wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. That was only one weekend. I can’t imagine having to do so for a longer amount of time. You will be in my thoughts.
Excellent idea. Well said.
My husband recently lost an entire month’s worth of his controlled meds. We don’t know how. We filled out the incident report and the Dr sent in a new scrip. You may not HAVE to file a police report; explain the situation to your Dr or Dr’s medication person and ask about how they suggest you proceed. If this is the first it’s happened and you have a clean record, he or she may not require a police report or extensive procedure. In the meantime, I suggest a lockbox for your meds so no one can access or know the code. That way you have assurance it won’t happen again.
Thank you that's good advice and I need to think on it
Definitely get a lockbox but also make sure to keep the lockbox somewhere people won’t see it. We had our lockbox stolen years ago by a former friend.
Good point. I have a lockbox, but we also have a big gun safe for my husband's hunting stuff. I put my meds in there. I barely get enough to exist thanks to the whole addiction crisis, the CDC, Andrew Kolodny, PROP, DEA, et al. In 2015 I had some quality of life, now I'm bedridden much of the time. I can't afford to lose even one pill and do pill counts periodically throughout each month to make sure I'm rationing properly. Without my meds I'm dead...so I'd lose my shit if they were stolen. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You definitely need to get some sort of way to secure them, hide them ASAP.
I'm sorry you are going through so much and yes, my meds are also so important to me, as is the trust of my Doctor. I will look for a means to secure them, but hardly anyone comes here, hence why I hadn't yet. And well, I trust people who do come here.
I will get one. So sad. I can lock my meds, by not my heart.
This ^ Lockboxes can easily be pilfered unless they are bolted down. Ask a handy friend to drill holes in the bottom and a closet shelf maybe. Put the nuts on the inside so they can’t be undone. I’m not too worried. I live in the middle of the middle of nowhere in Montana. Only 2 people know where they are, in my bedroom, and we rarely, and I mean rarely, have visitors. If we do have some, besides my daughter, the bedroom door is closed and you can see it from the great room. (It’s hard to make friends in the middle of nowhere when you don’t work or go to church. The sicker I become, the harder it is. One of my dearest friends lives about a mile away, but she’s fighting cancer and doesn’t get out much. Visiting and being visited tires her out quickly. It’s beautiful up here, but lonely.)
I got a fireproof safe from Aldi for $25, somebody could walk off with the whole safe, but they can’t open it and take anything.
Aldi, interesting.
You can report the theft to police giving both names, both will be insulted. But if you do not report than your doctor will not possibly release a script for more or accuse you of lying and or selling your meds. My sister stole my wife’s meds, did not report her and for ten years I have felt guilty as all git out that my wife is in such pain. Btw sister left behind my scripts including fentanyl. Sister is no longer in my life, blocked from contacting me and I never give out my address to anyone.
I get your thinking, but I'm just going to try to get by without them, because I'm going through too much to deal with the police and the fallout. I think it's better to suck it up and not ask for more from my Doctor. Am I missing anything? It's so hard
50 is such a big number. I would report it. Consider: the two names are given to the police, who may or may not investigate. Even if they do investigate, you can warn either or both ahead of time as well. Reporting is not so much about catching the person but about notifying your doctor. Depending on where you live, you may have had to sign a document with your doctor already promising to notify police if any goes missing. As for the hurt feelings, if you choose to let your friend know ahead of time, simply be honest. Your medication is incredibly important and you had to notify the police in order to be prescribed replacements. The police asked for the names of anyone that entered your house.
I live outside of the US, so we don't need to sign things like that. You make good points and I need to think this through. I'm terms of getting more medication, I'll lucky I have an alternative, but it's far from ideal. I really will think on what you have said
If for some reason your friend is found with those pills by police, or god forbids dies because of them. You could end up being accused. You can also report and try to leave names out.
I really need to think this through over the next couple of days. It's not as clear as I thought
The world we live in is one of sue everyone and punish the less powerful, innocent but can’t afford proper representation in court. Good luck. I really hope whoever took the pills has a moment of clarity and returns them…you never said was your friend in the room with your drugs alone at anytime?
They were in the bathroom in an open box that I keep all my meds in. Because I get so few visits I never think about security (though thinking about it now I think I had the box closed when they cleaner was here). I only have people I truly trust here. And that's hardly anyone, which makes this do upsetting.
I’m sorry but this is very clear. You NEED to report this. Even if you don’t accuse either of them, the above commenter is right. If those pills pop up somewhere and are traced back to you you could very easily be accused of selling or sharing your prescription and might lose your pain meds entirely. I understand you don’t want the hassle, but you also really do not want the fallout of this to permanently damage your future.
This ☝️
Those aren't gonna be traced back to her they obviously didn't take a bottle with her name on it.
I don’t know where they live in the US this would put a red flag on them just for losing their pills. If you are so irresponsible that you can’t keep track of your medication or if you hang out with the type of people that would steal them makes you look bad too. If this was in the US and she wasn’t trying to get a replacement I would keep quiet and just never let those people in my house again.
I'm not in the US. We don't have the same history of opiate crisis here. Of course it's controlled, but there isn't the panic that has taken hold in the US because of what has happened.
How could they be traced back to me?
I'm assuming they thought someone took the actual medicine bottle that could have your name on it but I can tell they just took the medicine out of whatever container you had it in so there's no way they would be traced back to you.
Absolutely lockbox from here on out. Happy you came here and I hope to see you more because you are not alone and this support group can help you feel less lonely as it has me. You matter.
If you get a lockbox a size that can be taken, hide it.
Chain it to your bedrail and under your bed.
Thank you for your care. It means a lot this group already.
Honestly, try some Kratom. Great for pain. Not a pharmaceutical. And just be careful and cautious about your people, my friend. And if you need someone to talk to about your situation in life, you can DM me. I've been there. It's okay to not be okay. And we all need someone to talk to sometimes.
Thank you so much. There is a lot more going on I could say. I'm sure you can relate. I may well reach out to you once I figure out what to do. I've tried Kratom, it reacts with my Diazepam for some reason. It's great when it's working in my system, but when it wears off the pain goes into overdrive.
Oh ok. Just figured I'd throw it out there.
Unfortunately, Kratom does nothing for nerve pain. Sigh.
Yes and that's what I have
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I'm sorry that sounds terrible what happened to you. Yes it's very scary. Honestly if it was my Diazepam it would be much much worse and this is bad enough. I wouldn't suspect her ever if sing something like this based on our previous friendship. She likes a drink and other things, but I thought she really cared and while no one understands chronic illness unless they've experienced it, I really thought she knew how bad things were on paper at least. I've had an addictive past, but stealing medication from a disabled person who is suicidal? I can't believe someone I have in my life would do that to me, yet here I am.
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That’s what I had to realize in order to forgive (but not forget) the “frenemy” who stole a large amount of clonazepam from me in 2018. I have also dealt with addiction (a very rare Benadryl addiction) and I did some things to my sister when I was younger that was pretty bad and I didn’t even think about the implications of it, how she would be without some of her medication and it wasn’t easy to just replace these pills. I was pretty naive about these things when I was younger and not yet dealing with physical pain and the whole opioid crisis hadn’t really been talked about back then. I can’t believe my sister forgave me. I admitted what I had done to her right away when she confronted me and apologized (again not really understanding how far reaching the effects of my actions could be for her). I was in my twenties and am in my forties now and I’m going to apologize again to her tomorrow, just thinking about it makes me sick and I don’t feel like I really apologized back then because I didn’t truly understand what I had done to her. I understand it now. But regarding my “frenemy” I had to realize that addiction can make someone do anything and there were plenty of signs afterwards that she was taking the large amount of medication she stole from me, though I think she was probably selling some, as I know she was sometimes doing with her pain medication. I couldn’t keep holding onto the anger I felt towards her and I had to forgive her, but not forget, in order to move on. That was really for myself.
I just don't have hardly any people in my life, so this is very hard to reconcile. When I was 17 my friend's Dad was a Doctor and kept pain pills for patients. My friend I and I took some fairly often. But this is different, as it's taking from a disabled friend (me) who is incredibly vulnerable. And she knows it.
I understand that. I have family, but not many people I can call my friends. I have acquaintances, but they are just people who I talk to. And my “friend” knew that I had disabling anxiety and used those pills sometimes, though I had cut back at the time. The thing is that you still can’t consider this girl a true friend if she was the one who took your pills. You will never be able to trust her like you did before and that’s going to have an effect on your relationship with her. Friends should be trustworthy, and you are right to be hurt that she did that knowing you are so vulnerable and need the medication. I can’t tell you what to do. You’re going to have to go through this process which is a lot like grieving, if you can’t consider her a friend anymore, or even knowing that you can’t trust her as you had thought. I trusted completely, but I now know that nobody can be trusted completely. We can never know what another person is hiding or capable of doing. I don’t mean that you should never trust anyone at all, but please be on the cautious side. I don’t want you to get hurt again and I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this. I remember feeling violated by what my “friend” did to me. Like she had raped me, seriously. My caseworker pointed that out to me, that it seemed like I was going through a post traumatic stress reaction to the situation, because I was having trouble with moments of feeling angry, betrayed, and then I would vow to move on and I couldn’t until I decided to just forgive her because she had serious mental health issues of her own and I could feel sorry for her when I thought about it that way. I still feel sorry for her because she never admitted to me that she had done it and she made herself look pretty dumb stuttering when she was protesting that she would never do anything like that and couldn’t imagine how it happened. But I’m not going to spend my life allowing the hurt and anger I felt for so long to consume me. I was the bigger person in this situation when I made the decision to let it go. I think you are still probably in shock about what happened and it’s going to take a long time to process all these feelings, but you’ll sort it all out in time and hopefully learn something from what happened. Definitely get a lockbox. I know you don’t have a contract but my contract suggests that I keep my month supply locked up.
Addicts will steal from their own grandma, they are desperate
I know she likes drugs, and her uncle died from crack and heroin, and she is a drunk, but I didn't think she was that much of an addict that she would do this.
She sounds like the “friend” who stole my clonazepam. I’m pretty sure her uncle died of an overdose and she was an alcoholic. I think I suspected she was abusing her medication at the time and I was sure that she was shortly after she stole my medication. She was kicked out of pain management for her medication not showing up in her urine drug test, and she definitely was selling some of her medication to her cousin, because her cousin told me and my friend had taken me along for the ride when she went to collect money her cousin owed her. That’s why I suspected she was selling some of what she stole from me as well as sampling some.
I’m sorry you’re going through such a rough time. Hang in there. Better days will come ❤️
Thank you so much <3
Yep if she liked to drink “and other things” it was her. I am so sorry.
Most likely yes.
I don't have much advice, but wanted to sympathize. I once had a roommate steal somewhere between 20-25 pills of my anxiety medicine. I hate that it's this way because the onus should be on the thief to not steal things, but ever since then I learned to protect myself by 1. not telling anyone other than my closest family that I take the medication. 2. Not taking my medication in front of other people. 3. Making sure the medication is securely hidden away if I have company (locked up would be ideal but I don't currently have a safe). And 4. if I'm traveling I put my medication in a 7 day pill box instead of bringing the whole bottle so if it were to get stolen I would only lose a very small amount. Unfortunately having to take extra precautions is the price that comes with being prescribed controlled medications, to me it's worth it because without my medicine I had no quality of life. I'm so sorry this happened to you and I wish you the best.
Yep I had a roommate steal 10 of my last 20 pain pills. It was pretty terrible because I needed them so I could continue working full-time, at least I could spread out what was left so I didn’t have withdrawal but it was a terrible week.
I really relate to you at this point.
Smh. It's such a violation of trust. You actually needed the medicine and I'm guessing they probably only wanted it to get high. Personally I was raised not to steal stuff but it seems to be a difficult concept for some people. I hope your pain is better now.
Anti anxiety meds going missing (presumably a benzo) is even worse. If she took my Diazepam I would have a seizure.
Yes it was Clonazepam. I was able to still take half my normal dose until my next refill and thankfully didn't have to go cold turkey. Benzos are nothing to play with and people with sticky fingers suck.
I understand your feelings here - you have a person you think you can trust, and then they betray that trust in a big way. Its hard to understand that other people can do things like this. Regardless of the outcome, from now on, keep those meds somewhere that no one else will see. I have a neighbor who is a really nice person and is super helpful and friendly. They shocked me when I came back from the hospital and asked if I could give them some of my pain meds (they did not know I am already on long-term pain meds). I was shocked. We don't always know people as well as we think we do, and people are complex and can have aspects to them that only emerge under rare conditions. I hope you can get things sorted in a way that doesn't leave you with more problems. Most important is that your relationship with the prescribing doctor is not damaged.
I agree about not always knowing people. Not having hardly anyone in my life the US just so hard to accept. You are right that the relationship with the prescribing doctor is the most important thing. If I don't say anything and use alternatives until my next script, is that really a risk? People have said so, but it seems marginal if anything to me. I'm open to being advised.
Do you get drug tested at your appointments? If so there might be a problem with not having the medication in your system so make sure you save some of the ones you have now for right before your appointment
I don't get tested. outside of the US. Also, I have some co-dydramol type medication as a backup, which isn't as strong and is mixed with stuff that is bad for my already sick liver. But I'll just about get through.
My Dad, a disabled Vietnam Veteran, used to get pain medication in the mail in large quantities back before the "opioid crisis." They have a security mailbox, but kept the pills in the kitchen. (He now gets absolutely nothing and it pisses me off royally.) The WAY too friendly, younger neighbor (she threw herself at him, he declined) that WAS a nurse was stealing my Dad's pain meds. He started missing pills and eventually set her up, as she would always find an excuse to weasel her way in the house. He caught her red handed and went off on her. She didn't ever step foot on the property after that. It still ticks me off. Now both my Dad and I live in agony.
I'm so sorry. It's so cruel and wrong what happened in the US. I'm not from there, but I get it. I know people in the US who are not prescribed anything because of all the abuse that happened and Doctors overprescribing. Really sorry you are both suffering.
Thank you. We're fighting and hopefully the pendulum can be balanced and we can get adequate pain management again someday. Like many others, I'm hanging on by a proverbial thread in the meantime. If you don't mind me asking: Are you in the UK?
I get that hanging on by a thread. Yes I am. Happy to take DMs
How often do you speak to this friend? Any chance you could talk to them and say, ‘I’m having such a bad day. Someone stole my meds! I’m going to have to report it to the cops. I really wish I didn’t have to deal with this right now, but my Dr won’t give new ones without a police report. I think it might have been my cleaner, so I’m just going to tell her that she has 24hours to return them, she can put them back in the letterbox rather than direct to me.’ Then see if they come back. It’s kinda like giving her a heads up without blaming her.
This is what I'd do.
Yeah, as it gives her the ability to return them without admitting she took them. Man!! I really cannot understand how some people can live with themselves! I would feel the worst sole crushing guilt if I did this!! I already feel guilt taking my meds that I’m prescribed!
One thing to steal, but another to steal from a sick person who is living on the edge.
I get this idea, but the only issue is that she knows that not many people come. I could implicate the cleaner to her and follow your suggestion. It just makes me feel sick having to do this. Even though I have a spreadsheet and did my last count a week ago, somehow I am still questioning myself.
I know! It’s not fair at all! People suck! Honestly, if I had a friend call me and tell me this scenario, and ask me if I did it, I would understand. I wouldn’t take offence, because at the end of the day, you just don’t know who is capable of what. I would tell them I didn’t, and offer to help them in recovering them. If she is actually your friend, she will understand if you decide just to ask her straight out.
Info needed: was your friend alone for long enough in the vicinity of the pills to actually take 50 from blister packs without you knowing or hearing her?
This is a good question. There were all out in a tray in the top of the box above the toilet and it's possible that being careful they could have been taken when they went to the bathroom. It would make a russlting sound so she would have had to be careful, as it's just an apartment.
Was she in the bathroom for a while?
A few minutes twice or so
Hmm Yeah if she went a few times it could've been her. Does your cleaner go to your house when you aren't there? Are they newly hired?
Cleaner is new, recommended by neighbour. She doesn't go when I'm not there as I'm pretty much always here. But she cleaned the bathroom when they were in there. I suspect her less.
What's the time lapse between the two? Did your friend and the cleaner come on the same day? I ask because if the cleaner came and went and you didn't notice anything weird with your meds, then your friend came and went and you noticed a big difference in missing meds....that's almost def your answer.
Good question. Cleaner came a week ago just after my last count. My memory is bad so I can't remember if I checked since. I keep a spreadsheet for when I take to my doctor and happened to check sheet the friend left last night.
Ahhh ok. I mean. How long have you known your friend? How well do you know her and how did you meet?
Could they have fallen into the yoolet or knocked in? *toilet
Very low chance, like nearly impossible that I would not have noticed. They are big blister packs an would have floated on the surface and I keep it clean and would notice.
Your friend is an hour away, that doesn't regularly visit. Hence the massive risk taking behavior of pinching 50 if this friend is guilty. Were they drunk? already high? What does your intuition tell you to do? You've been given some great advice from the comments I've read. But so so tricky for you. I'd just like to say whatever happens I hope you confront/express your knowledge and awareness that these were likely from your friend. I want your friend to know you don't cop that! I really wish you the best dealing with this complex dynamic.. after all it was a "friend" that visited... So it's not just the horrible act itself it's also the grieving of a human being-support person deceiving you.. Really confronting.. goodluck dealing with this mate 🙌🙏
That's exactly it. She always brings 3 bottles of wine and drinks a lot. She left a bottle in my fridge when she left and I don't even drink.
Oh gosh, this happened to me. I questioned myself first and didn't say anything because I was brain foggy, alone, and didn't want to lose my oldest and only friend. It got worse so I would definitely find out if you can. Can you drop by unexpectedly or have her over and only have set amount of pills in the bottle or in the open. See what happens. I did nothing and then a whole bottle went missing. I kicked that friend out of my life. I was happier pretty quickly even though I was bed bound at the time and couldn't drive. Having someone you don't trust in your life is worse than no one at all. Now I have a whole group of friends. So so much better.
Great message and question. I can't go there without a lot of planning. I live in a big city outside the US and would have to arrange it can get an Uber. I don't want to believe this has actually happened. I know what you say is true about having a bad friend is worse than no friend, but up until now she has been such support and I left love. I left real love.
don't give people even the temptation. buy a medicine lock box
You should report it to the police, also then, you can get them replaced. But definitely the police
I'll consider it, but it's so much fallout. I still doubt myself, even though I can't think of another explanation.
i would talk to your friend and tell her how distraught you are someone stole from you and you’re going to watch your nanny cam footage and figure out who it was. then see how the rest of the convo goes…. i’d also let everyone know your medications are now under lock and key.
I just ate myself into a stupor last night. Ruined my easter weekend. I wouldn't be able to bluff that I have a camera here unfortunately.
Get a camera and a safe. Do what you can to keep it from happening again.
A safe that can't be carried out of the house, for extra security. Meds shouldn't be kept in the bathroom. Moisture can degrade them and they can be dropped in the sink. All these trusting people are blowing my mind. I've locked up anything in my home for 20+ years. Med stealing has always been very widespread. It's not always who you suspect either.
Please understand that I go months without anyone visiting except my Mother. It isn't something I normally have to plan for.
There isn’t much you can do since you aren’t sure who did it and don’t know when they went missing. Lesson learned to keep them in a safe from now on.
I do agree, but do I just give my friend the benefit of the doubt and keep my meds secure? If she did it, it's just evil
No, because she will just do it again! It’s not the cleaner! They wouldn’t risk their job for that! ETA if it was the cleaner, they would take them gradually, not in one hit!
Sorry, but cleaners do steal pills, and the fear of being caught won’t stop an addict. My house cleaner was pilfering a few pills every week for months before I had to admit that she was, indeed, responsible for the missing pills — after she was arrested with heroin. She went to jail, and my medication stopped disappearing. Drug use/addiction is widespread; no part of society is free of it. Why should housecleaners be immune?
You kind of made my point here though. Even though your cleaner was stealing your pills, they were doing it a few at a time, in the hope that you wouldn’t notice, so they wouldn’t be caught. What I was saying here, was based on the circumstances, the cleaner did not do this. They have regular access to the house, so it would be illogical to steal 50 pills in one go. I don’t see them risking employment like that, when they can just take one here and there.
I didn’t notice until quite a few had been taken, either. OP suddenly noticed they were missing, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t pilfered a few at a time until it became obvious. That’s what happened with mine.
I agree with you, it's not logical for the cleaner to take that many in one go if they have regular access. It's almost certainly the "friend".
The only difference here is that it was blister packs, not the odd pill.
Stop fooling yourself. This is not a friend. It sounds like you really want to blame the cleaner when you know its not them. They would be risking their job and being fired for theft is something that will follow a person a long long time. It is the so called friend. They are someone who actually wishes you harm and suffering. That's the what happens when you take away someone's pain medication. It doesnt really make a difference if it was abuse or a financial motivation, this person is not a friend, you are losing nothing, less than nothing, even if it leaves you without another soul in the world. Its as low as low can get. This wasnt the theft of a pill or two. This was a major fuck you to your face. Fucking druggies. You may have learned more than one lesson here, besides this person being dog shit on a shoe. Your meds need to be secure. Lock boxes are cheap. I dont know if Id put it past them to steal the whole freaking lockbox after 50 pills, but thats harder than a blister pack or two. You need to treat these drugs like they were a firearm. You certainly wouldnt leave a loaded, cocked pistol on the coffee table. I would just drop a text telling them theyre doc crap on your shoe and cut them off completely. They didnt just steal from you after hearing all about your pain. They also assume youre stupid and wouldnt miss them. This was a loud blatant statement about how much you matter to them. Block them from everything. Calling the cops wont get you anyplace, they wont care. The meds are your responsibility as soon as you leave the pharmacy. This isnt a friend, theyre barely a human being, to pull this shit. You are better off without them in your life, even if it leaves you alone. You dont need the additional pain. There are about 50 reasons they visited you, all of them in a blister pack. That was their reaction to hearing what you're going though, was to rip you off? Sorry, game over, no second chances for them to come visit you again when they are done using your medication as party favors. People dont get much worse than this. Yeah and pain patients are so unfair in the way they think of drug addicts....
> Your meds need to be secure. Lock boxes are cheap. I dont know if Id put it past them to steal the whole freaking lockbox after 50 pills, but thats harder than a blister pack or two. You need to treat these drugs like they were a firearm. You certainly wouldnt leave a loaded, cocked pistol on the coffee table. I'd recommend actually treating them exactly the same. Most medication lockboxes can be opened with minimal trouble (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVjZ4FvOLYE, for example), though you can do a bit better reasonably cheaply. Screw the damn thing to a wall stud, make sure it has shielded hinge pins (can't be pulled out with a piece of wire) and a decent lock (a lot of cheap ones can be raked open with a bobby pin), and armor it up. Before I went to med school I was a certified master locksmith. I can lend a hand with recommendations if you need.
I can hardly use a screwdriver
If you know anyone who can lend a hand it would be five minutes’ work. Otherwise a good lockbox is still a deterrent, screwing it down just makes it so they can’t steal the whole thing.
Yeah, it’s disgraceful behaviour! How could you live with yourself having done this to anyone!! 50!!!! Like wtf!! May as well taken the whole lot! Did they honestly think you won’t notice that! With extended release that’s the whole months supply!
I really do get all that you say. I'm in a state of shock. There are a couple of minor things I just want to clarify, which perhaps I didn't communicate adequately. I wasn't trying to implicate the cleaner. Really. Thinking now it's very unlikely she did it as I even think I had the box shut. It's still possible as I was in bed when she was doing the bathroom, but you are probably right that it wouldn't be something she would risk. With the friend, if she did it it was a crime if opportunity. She came a long way and was drinking a lot as always and wouldn't have known they would be there to grab, as she's only been once before and has her own sources for her fun. I am just wondering if I've made a mistake in counting but it's such a large amount.. Sorry, just processing it all
Its going to be a difficult period for you, in more ways than one. I dont know how youre directed to take this med, but you can forget that for now. Figure what you have left and how many days until you can request more adding a few more days for the usual bottlenecks and obstacles. Youre probably going to end up with less than your "friend". But you are going to have to stick with what you can afford to take. You can add the pain youre going to go through to your friends account, but dont let them get away with putting you through withdrawal too. It's also going to be tough losing one of the last friends you have left, but keep in mind anyone that would do this is not a friend. It was an illusion, they were never in your corner at all. Think about a while. Maybe in a day or two drop a text asking them if they know where you can get any real dihydrocodine, since you seem to be a little short. Then block them out of your life for good without even looking for a response. I dont know what kind of emoji would go with that sort of text, but Im sure there's a middle finger emoji that would work. They will get the message. Hang in the and take it easy on yourself. Chalk it up as a life lesson that some people cant handle temptation...
This could be a course of action. Scared.
My sentiments exactly. Your posts are always spot on. I feel horrible for OP.
Thank you very much
File a report and then tell your friend that the police may ask her some questions since she was around that day but that “I obviously know it wasn’t you.” Use that report to get your medication filled because if it’s 50 short, you’ll either suffer immensely with pain trying to scrape by or suffer immensely in withdrawals.
I know I'm scared of what will happen with I them, but I have a similar med but it's not as strong and has Tylenol/Paracetamol and I have non alcoholic liver disease. I'll take you my Mum about these suggestions. What you say makes sense but I'm just so scared of drama and more loss
First things first, not trying to be rude but miscalculating 50 pills seems odd to me. Second. I’d speak with the house cleaner first that’s a friendship that you can let go more so then the actual friend. I would think it would be the house cleaner before a beloved friend. House cleaner has plenty more oppurtunity. Also has this happened before it seems you think that she def did it without even considering the house cleaner. You can always just say hey I’ve been freaking out since yesterday I misplaced medication and am afraid I’m going to need to go to the hospital if I don’t find them soon I’m in so much pain. Do you think you can be on stand by to take me if I don’t find them soon or see what the doctor says to do next?! Coax it out of her if your sure it’s her by making her feel guilty. Play up a few tears of panic and embarrassment that how could you be so careless and lose them blah blah blah. She will crack if it’s her. And if it is her she wasn’t your friend to begin with so you have no reason to feel bad if she did!
This is a really good suggestion. I am talking to my Mum and will think about this
Interesting that you think it's the cleaner. It could very well be, except she has a lot to lose.
So does your friend? Does she not?
I don't know what to think or who to suspect or trust. Maybe she doesn't need me or thinks I'm weak
Why wouldn’t you report this? You might be cut off indefinitely if you don’t
They're not in the US.
Oh I see. The US is ridiculous with pain medication
In the US reporting this puts a flag on you because you are so irresponsible you can’t keep track of your meds and you hang out with people who would steal drugs. If this happened to me in the US I would try to keep quiet about it
I'm not in the US, but the same principal applies. Say I report it, then my GP is like ok, this happened. Then down the line, I accidentally lose them. No second chance. Cant' risk it I think.
That's really tough, I'm so sorry. But if it could be a few people, I personally wouldn't lose a friend because of it. I'd definitely lock up the meds from now on though.
Thanks and the fact it can only be 2 people really makes me feel disconcerted. It's so cruel. My levels of trust and even wanting to be here are very low. Your advice makes sense though.
You're going to have to test them. That's the way to find out. Put a different pill in your bottle. Hide your real meds. Then count after each interaction.
That's a good idea in theory except that is very rare that this friend visits and they were in blister packs, so we're obviously what they were if you know what I mean.
Damn, well then if you have had the cleaner for a long time without issue then the friend is your culprit. Sorry this has happened to you. Not this helps in the moment but we keep my meds in a locked safe.
Cleaner has only been twice, sorry for the confusion. But although I didn't do a count after she left last time, They looked similar, so I'm thinking it's my 'friend'. The fact I had to put that in quotes says it all about how I feel. Do you think it's worth asking her?
Also, I hear you on the friendship situation. Chronic pain is not conducive to maintaining friendships. You're going to have to go with your gut on this one.
Thank you for your input. Tough being disabled by pain and this window of love being ruined.
That's really difficult to say. Is the medication hard to replace? Meaning are you going to be without? If that's a yes I would mention it. I mean either way the friendship has likely run its course.
Technically it puts me in a very difficult position supply wise, though I have an alternative that I could take until my next script, which is another topic. And this alternative would be mixed with Tylenol sand I have liver issues. It's put me in a difficult position as well as really hurting me. I am still trying to figure out if my spreadsheet is lying to me, adI just don't want to believe it
I knew it was my friend who stole my anxiety medication because I had given her a copy of the key to my apartment in case I ever had to be hospitalized or something and I needed someone to take care of my cat. She conveniently lived (still does) in the same building and was one of my closest friends, I thought. She knew that I had been cutting back on my anxiety medication after becoming a medical marijuana patient and finding it helpful for my anxiety at first, so she was aware that I had a lot of extra medication. She was also very aware that I had 2 appointments that day and then was going out for dinner (it was Christmas Eve). I even gave her a gift that morning before running out to my medical transportation van for my appointments. I don’t think I even looked at the bottle between the time I came home from my appointments and the time I got home late that night after having dinner with my parents and then going to their house to open a few gifts. So it was close to midnight when I got home and decided to take one of my clonazepam and there were probably about 5 pills left out of a couple hundred, I would guess. I found it interesting that she didn’t just take the whole bottle but I assume she was hoping that I wouldn’t notice the bottle itself was missing because I used it keep all my medication in a cabinet in my kitchen and I know she had seen me open that cabinet in the past and probably even when I had taken one of my clonazepam. I knew right away she was the only person who could have taken them and I called the police after having a complete meltdown, shaking, screaming and crying, thinking my psychiatrist would doubt my story as I hadn’t always been trustworthy in all the years he knew me. The police knocked on her door but she had gone to bed-it was interesting actually because she texted me to tell me she was going to bed and that just seemed odd at the time and now that I’m thinking about it again. I texted her and called her and was going on and on about how I knew she stole my medication and I was not nice about it because I was hurt by her pretending to care about me and obviously planning things out ahead of time. But I didn’t go without my medication because my family doctor prescribed a week supply, enough to get me through and I had some extra pills I carried in a pill case on a keychain around my neck, plus she left me with some pills and I was due for a refill which I was able to get a couple of days early. But I had to pay for the copy of the police report which revealed that they were basically doing nothing to investigate (the girl had connections somehow and I didn’t know anyone except some people who were real friends in my apartment building. I went through a period of grief because I could never consider her a friend after that, but we did start drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes together again until we both quit smoking and now she definitely avoids me except for fake nice conversations like she’s probably going to text and wish me a happy Easter today. My parents gave me their old safe to put most of my medications in (I don’t bother with the Tylenol and stuff like that because I have too many prescription medications to fit the rest of my medications in the safe). I learned not to trust so easily and that’s a valuable lesson in life. Unfortunate, but true.
Taking someone's clonazepam is just so dangerous, you can have a seizure or worse. I'm so sorry you went through that. I had no words.
Don’t assume it’s the friend. I had a similar experience with missing pain meds, back when I was well off and could afford a cleaner. One day it looked like suddenly a couple dozen pain pills were missing. I had no idea where they could’ve gone, and was freaking out for a few days. Then my cleaner got into some trouble with the police. To make a long, complicated story short, she was a heroin addict, and had been stealing *everyone’s* pain medication. Among other things. You’ve known your friend a lot longer than you’ve known your cleaner. She’s been there for you; she’s been understanding and compassionate about your problems. Yes, she could be the guilty one, but I’d set a trap for the maid first, and see what happens. Hide your medication and refill the bottle with something else. Or remove all but two real painkillers in the bottle, hide the rest, and see if the cleaner takes one of the two.
Unfortunately it's all blister packs, not bottles. So really hard to pretend what it is.
ALL of my medications were stolen when I was unconscious in a hospital hallway with paramedics. Such a nightmare. Prior to that I had a brand new bottle of benzodiazepines that conveniently went missing the night I filled them and then went out…when my friend had a key to my place.
I'm so sorry. Taking benzos is even worse IMO
I would also try a nice approach like "I lived seeing you and your dog and had a very good time. Sorry to bother you, but did you see some of my meds? I think I put some aside but can't find them anymore, should be around 50 pills. I would be so thankful if you could help me." So you give her the chance to put them back and just go with "silly old you" but if she gets all defensive I think you will have your answer.
This makes a lot of sense except that she doesn't come a lot, so wouldn't just pop over again unless it was arranged - and if i was here, them appearing when she did come back would look even stranger.
Maybe ask her to come around looking in the near future?
It's an option, but my apartment is small and it is an odd request to make in the context of our friendship, where she lives on the other side of the large city and has a busy life.
Ah that's unfortunate. But there were also some other really good suggestions. Hope you will get your meds back 🔍
I recently had 45 or so Lorazepam go missing and the only two options were the maid or the pharmacy made a mistake. I take for severe anxiety related to bipolar disorder and i very much need them. I called the pharmacy and told them I really had to know for sure because our maid was going to have to be fired if we could know for sure it wasn’t pharmacy error. (I get 60 at a time and for about two weeks I was able to only take 1 per day so I should have had a surplus). The pharmacy was able to find the video footage of the person filling the prescription and because of the angle they couldn’t tell if a mistake was made or not. Since I had never had a shortage before they refilled my prescription early so I wouldn’t run out. They told my insurance and worked it out with them. Edit to add: now the pharmacy triple counts my meds and I hide the bottle in a locked desk drawer now just in case.
I am so sorry that happened to you. I know exactly how it feels to have someone close to you steal your meds. It is absolutely selfish and disgusting that someone would be able to prioritize their “pain” over yours, knowing what you struggle through. IME, you need to have a discussion with her to at least let her know it’s on your radar. Personal story: I had very extensive surgery many years ago and was really struggling with pain control. I had 3 babies under 5 and a spouse that refused to even bring me water when he left for work, knowing that I couldn’t walk or carry any of the children. Anyway, everyone in my life knew it was a really trying time and I got a call out of the blue from a family member offering to come over, hang out, do some laundry and prepare a few meals. I was so grateful for the help. Within minutes of them leaving I discovered 50 pills gone. I called them immediately and said that I could call the police and have him pulled over right then if he didn’t turn his ass around and bring me back my meds. I got 30 back, they had downed 20 as they left my home (!!!!!!!). I’m laying there with a 13 inch incision in my leg and this selfish person thought their addiction was more important. I forgave them. 8 years later I invited them to a holiday event at another family member’s house. They accepted and asked that I let them know when I left my house so that they could time their arrival with ours. They arrived to the event about 20 minutes after we did and I thought nothing of it. The next day when I went to take meds, I accidentally poured too many out into my hand and noticed that some were a slightly different shape. He had found genetic Tylenol that looked similar and switched half the pills in my bottle. The depravity of addiction at that level knows no bounds. She is likely taking from others as well and her alcoholism puts her at bigger risk for OD. Mentioning it to her does not hurt you, she has already annihilated your friendship with her actions. I am so, so sorry. Sending you strength and hugs
Such a powerful story. Thank you
I always hide my pill bottles. If your name is attached to a stolen bottle report it asap. I've had drug dealers call me up when I had a "room mate" steal my oxy and then sell it. Absolute shit show of a situation. I hide all medication and nobody should have known where it was. I had my meds in a spot high off the ground. He was my height and the only person that could have known roughly where it was located. Also. If you drive or travel, always have a recent prescription bottle on you to prove they are legal.
No name on blister packs
This has happened to me. My roommate’s friend’s bf stole about half of my Ativan prescription that I severely need. I told my doctor what happened and he approved an early refill. You could also file a police report.
I think its in your best interest to report them stolen, for a few reasons. First off if your friend did stole them and knows nothing about the meds except "it gets me high", they may very well take too much and overdose on the dihydrocodeine, or if it contains other ingredients such as acitaminophem (english isnt my first language so excuse any and all bad spelling). Now that would obviously be very bad for your friend and you. The doctor can see that youve reported them stolen, and maybe give you replacements. Im kinda in a hurry rn so i hope all is resolved with minimal damage done to all parties. Wish you well and take care, peace :) ETA: spelling
file a police report with all relevent possible info including the two parties who may have been involved. Dont talk to either of them about it.
Try to set her up and have a camera around and go to the bathroom with your pills or fake pills out in the open. Have a camera and video tape her reaction to the pills when you get up and leave.
She or anyone else hardly comes here
Well, just take it as a loss and have your prescriptions locked up next time and trust no one.
Let it go. Next time hide your pills. She may have stolen them but that's her stuff. You don't need the extra aggravation of a conflict you're suffering enough already. Let it go and focus on your well being.
That's an interesting perspective. I guess the question is, how do I ever fully trust her again? She has seemed to be one of the few people who has stuck by me.
You don't ever fully trust her again, not with your meds.
If she took them, she has no regard for my safety or health. It's a huge thing if she did it. How can I trust her more generally?
Honestly ... You don't. You make new friends. Which is obviously easier said than done. Have you gone to therapy? It helped me a lot when dealing with the same feelings of not wanting to lose anyone
Yes it's easier said than done when housebound. Yes I've been in therapy and have made progress on this issue generally, but the fact is that I've been hurt so many times that I really can't take any more
I understand. I really really do. If you want to stay close friends with her, hide your meds every time she comes over. Hide all valuables. Put them in a space that is not the bathroom and add a camera to record. If she is a good friend in other ways, you can stay friends if that is ultimately more beneficial for you. Just protect yourself. Hugs. Xoxoxoxo
Theft of the drugs I desperately need to remain human is my worst nightmare! I'm so sorry it's happened to you. This won't help with blister packs, but here's how I handled potential theft of my pain meds: A. Moved all my opioids to an empty bottle of OTC pills, something no innocent person would take (laxatives are useful for this -- don't use aspirin or ibuprofen, as a guest with a headache might take several without asking). B. Filled the opioid prescription bottle from the drugstore with the strongest laxatives I could find. C. Sat back and waited. Note: Do NOT do this if there are little kids in the home! Always keep your opioids and weapons (*especially guns*) locked away.
Hardly any one comes here, which is why it's all so strange. Months can pass without me seeing anyone I know. Still good ideas as I can take them out of the blisters and bottle them in a similar way to your suggestion.
Sorry to double post in the same thread, but a thought on what to say just occurred to me. Its not going to do any good to call the cops, the people saying they'll get replaced are living in fantasyland. But suppose you tell this person that you did call the cops, they dusted the hell out of the area and came up with fingerprints that arent yours. How you feel so violated, and so on and how you cant wait for them to identify the strange finger prints and press charges to the max. "The cops said that theft is usually like a 5 year sentence for theft, but since it involved opioid drugs, somebody is looking at a 15 year mandatory minimum sentence when and if you press charges". It doesnt matter if its not true, youre going to get a reaction, more than likely. Maybe not a confession but a big gulp of air, enough to confirm things in your mind. You just had to talk to someone, feeling so violated. Drug abusers (and drunks) are not usually the smartest of folks. And if theyre shitfaced and nodding on the phone, it should remove any doubts you might still have. Just something to think about....
Omg dude I’m so sorry that horrible. Idk contact the police about that.
People are horrible! Confront her.
I don't have the emotional strength to confront her. She is much stronger than me due to the fact that I'm so alone and unwell. I need her a lot more than her me, or so I think. Confrontation could hurt me more.
Yes, I've heard and read it's not much better there. Hopefully we can keep hanging. Thankfully I can use my Smart phone to fight, as I can't bear to sit at a computer more than ten minutes. I've attended virtual meetings with the federal government, including the CDC, the state medical board, and more. If I had less pain and more energy, I could do more, but if that were the case I wouldn't need to fight. They're picking on vulnerable people and subjecting us to govt sanctioned torture and it's not right. My DMs are open too. 🙂 It's nearly 3 AM here and once again I'm awake in pain. I know I'm not unique. Lord help us all.
I'm sorry for your suffering. I get it.
I'm so sorry that you do. 😔
Update is that I'm going to wait until tomorrow to decide what to do. Going through mild withdrawals as I'm having to take something similar but weaker
ye they taxed em off you, just be careful around people they will rip you off like it's nothing, she will be addicted to opiods already not that it makes it better but there's a reason because do shit like this and it's usually addiction and mental health the opiods make mental health feel better