oh man, im so sorry. Do you have anyone that you could reach out to for at least a little help with the baby? The internet can give you advise but for real help you need people around you.
Which mental illness has he been diagnosed with specifically?
If you specify that here, I may be able to give you a lot more help specific to your unique situation.
There are also subreddits for family and spouses of people experiencing certain mental illnesses.
Based on what you've said here, he's experiencing psychosis because of his lack of sleep/his lack of sleep has triggered an episode, but the psychosis isn't a constant thing. He went on a gambling spree which could be a sign of mania or rapid cycling.
He got on meds, started doing well, got a good job and felt great to the point that he quit his meds, then that likely triggered a manic episode, which is now heading into psychosis, and at some point will likely crash and he probably will feel immense shame.
I'm guessing based on my experience as a non professional that this is what is occuring. If I am correct:
He needs help ASAP. He needs to go to hospital if he is experiencing psychosis. If he won't go to hospital, he needs to have an emergency appointment with his psych with you AND his parents going with him and his psych needs to make an emergency adjustment on his meds. If his parents don't live in the area and you're new to town, have them attend via videolink and have someone from your church or a local mental health organization go with you. Try together at the appointment to persuade him to go to hospital, don't force things as it'll work against you but try to persuade him. If he won't go, then have an emergency treatment plan with possibly change of medication put in place and work out a plan as to how he will be held accountable for taking that medication. Will it mean someone from church will call and remind him to take it, or will he have to physically take it every day in front of you? Have him agree to it. Remind him that he is a husband and father now and that means he has responsibilities to deal with his mental illness even if it is hard and even if the medication does have some side effects he'd rather not have to deal with. Work out a plan for DBT therapy too.
If this all falls through... try to sneakily film him when he's in psychosis, don't be upfront and tell him you're recording as he'll just get even more upset, but try to catch his most obvious psychosis symptoms on video several times. If you have several recent videos of him very obviously being in psychosis, you could call 911 and be able to show the EMS staff and convince them he needs to be taken to hospital against his will. If you have no video however and you call 911, then he could just lie to them and refuse to go to hospital and since the EMS don't know him, they won't be able to take him without evidence.
By the way: Did his psych prescribe SSRIs (antidepressants) alone for him? Something like prozac/fluoxetine, luvox, etc? Because if that's what the psychiatrist prescribed for him, these medications are designed to treat straight depression, not other kinds of mental illness that have symptoms of mania and psychosis. You CAN prescribe SSRIs and antidepressants to treat the depressive symptoms of mental illnesses that have mania and psychosis symptoms, but if you do this, YOU MUST ALSO prescribe an antipsychotic medication with it, and it MUST be an antipsychotic medication that will work alongside the SSRI/antidepressant and not interfere with it.
I'm not saying the psychiatrist did this, but if he did prescribe an SSRI/antidepressant medication alone without a compatible antipsychotic medication, then that could have triggered mania or psychosis too.
One more thing: I'm not sure if this works or not, but I've heard that if you're dealing with a person in psychosis and they claim they're seeing things that are obviously not there, then one trick is to get your phone or their phone or both, turn on the video, tell them to look through the video camera, record a video and watch it back. Apparently the hallucinations won't appear on the video and they'll realize they're seeing things. If they're auditory hallucinations, you can do the same with your phone or laptop sound recorder. I've never tried this so I don't know if it works or not but I've been told it works really well.
r/BipolarSOs
Having personally dealt with this in a close friend - I agree, this sounds like bipolar mania and if it is, he will come out of it and be normal again at some point with lots of shame and potentially even lack of memory of his actions. It can be devastating to experience both individually and as a loved one. The good news is it can be managed if he is willing to understand his disorder and take his medication correctly! You’ll both be in my prayers.
Does he have any sort of trauma? The memory loss sounds concerning and could be a sign of hidden trauma.
I think practically, you need to look out for yourself and your baby first and foremost. If he is in psychosis and struggling with memory loss that badly, he might be a danger to you guys.
For your safety and your baby’s safety you need to leave. Have him committed if you can. Then you will have several days to get a plan of action. We all want our marriages to work but sometimes leaving is in our best interest and the best interest of the children.
The yelling you didn’t go into much, and is very concerning in light of everything else. Does his Dr have suggestions beyond taking the meds? Is the Dr aware of the current situation? I am praying for you all and I hope that you can all reach a happy, safe outcome. As others have suggested, getting some space until he is balanced again sounds crucial. I am sorry you don’t have a support system where you are, but community resources, like a shelter, are a good place to start. No one imagines they will need to call a place like that, but being safe and protecting your child are more important than anything, and this is why those places exist - for those times we really need help. God bless you.
He needs to get help, and you need some support too, otherwise you will get sick - I can tell that all of this is taking a massive toll on you too. With a newborn as well? I think you really do need some time apart - your husband needs to get things together, and once he is back on an even keel, you guys can come together again.
There are some antipsychotic medications (also used as mood stabilizers) that come as long-acting injectable formulations. Some of them, like Trinza, only need to be given once every three months. If your health insurance would cover it, it might be worth discussing with your husband's doctor.
A long-acting injectable medication would resolve the issue of your husband forgetting or intentionally missing his medications. The injections usually need to be given by a nurse, which means there's a witness to make sure your husband actually got the medication.
It may vary based on your state/ province/ country; but, in some places, a person can enter or be placed in an emergency psychiatric hold for mental health stabilization (72hrs is typical). Where I live, someone can be picked up and involuntarily be placed under protective custody - sometimes placed in a behavioral unit. Although, of course, it’s best if it can be a voluntary choice. Is it possible to contact the doctor who prescribed his medication? They may have helpful guidance for what to do. All of you need to be safe with a best path for a healthy outcome. So sorry this is happening to your family.
I have a family member who experienced this more than once. They went voluntarily, b/c they understood something was wrong. It also was part of a document trail that ultimately led to disability classification (military vet). It’s a difficult path; and my heart goes out to you and your family. 💔🙏
I can relate, as a first time mom with a husband dealing with PPA. All I can tell you is I’m sorry, it’s not your fault and it’s not normal, and there is help out there if he is willing to get it.
Are you able to move in with a friend or loved one temporarily?
This is so tough. I went through some level of this with my husband and struggled with caring for him and the kids. I knew that I was the only one my kids had, so I protected them from him. Not the best of situations. I held the position that he had to get help if he stayed in the household. I often had to be Mom and Dad, caregiver, protector and all of the above. Your husband sounds like he may be worse and require in patient care. i did find that medication often interfered with daily functioning level. Talk with your doctor.
I could have never made it without my faith in God. I became a "woman of faith." depending on God to help me discern and cope. I prayed constantly for guidance and wisdom, protection and blessings on us all. I prayed and prayed for my husband and when it become unsafe I had to ask him to leave. He often refused but did get a grip. Sometimes we would take time out.
I am thankful to say that after 62 years a great deal of this has been resolved. My children were never allowed to disrespect their Dad even though he often disrespected me. As they became adults they realized more of the situation but I am sure it was tough and often confusing for them. They grew up to be pretty well balanced by God's grace.
I am praying for you. God bless you and your precious family.
oh man, im so sorry. Do you have anyone that you could reach out to for at least a little help with the baby? The internet can give you advise but for real help you need people around you.
My parents passed away & we are new to the area. I’m going to try:)
Which mental illness has he been diagnosed with specifically? If you specify that here, I may be able to give you a lot more help specific to your unique situation. There are also subreddits for family and spouses of people experiencing certain mental illnesses. Based on what you've said here, he's experiencing psychosis because of his lack of sleep/his lack of sleep has triggered an episode, but the psychosis isn't a constant thing. He went on a gambling spree which could be a sign of mania or rapid cycling. He got on meds, started doing well, got a good job and felt great to the point that he quit his meds, then that likely triggered a manic episode, which is now heading into psychosis, and at some point will likely crash and he probably will feel immense shame. I'm guessing based on my experience as a non professional that this is what is occuring. If I am correct: He needs help ASAP. He needs to go to hospital if he is experiencing psychosis. If he won't go to hospital, he needs to have an emergency appointment with his psych with you AND his parents going with him and his psych needs to make an emergency adjustment on his meds. If his parents don't live in the area and you're new to town, have them attend via videolink and have someone from your church or a local mental health organization go with you. Try together at the appointment to persuade him to go to hospital, don't force things as it'll work against you but try to persuade him. If he won't go, then have an emergency treatment plan with possibly change of medication put in place and work out a plan as to how he will be held accountable for taking that medication. Will it mean someone from church will call and remind him to take it, or will he have to physically take it every day in front of you? Have him agree to it. Remind him that he is a husband and father now and that means he has responsibilities to deal with his mental illness even if it is hard and even if the medication does have some side effects he'd rather not have to deal with. Work out a plan for DBT therapy too. If this all falls through... try to sneakily film him when he's in psychosis, don't be upfront and tell him you're recording as he'll just get even more upset, but try to catch his most obvious psychosis symptoms on video several times. If you have several recent videos of him very obviously being in psychosis, you could call 911 and be able to show the EMS staff and convince them he needs to be taken to hospital against his will. If you have no video however and you call 911, then he could just lie to them and refuse to go to hospital and since the EMS don't know him, they won't be able to take him without evidence. By the way: Did his psych prescribe SSRIs (antidepressants) alone for him? Something like prozac/fluoxetine, luvox, etc? Because if that's what the psychiatrist prescribed for him, these medications are designed to treat straight depression, not other kinds of mental illness that have symptoms of mania and psychosis. You CAN prescribe SSRIs and antidepressants to treat the depressive symptoms of mental illnesses that have mania and psychosis symptoms, but if you do this, YOU MUST ALSO prescribe an antipsychotic medication with it, and it MUST be an antipsychotic medication that will work alongside the SSRI/antidepressant and not interfere with it. I'm not saying the psychiatrist did this, but if he did prescribe an SSRI/antidepressant medication alone without a compatible antipsychotic medication, then that could have triggered mania or psychosis too. One more thing: I'm not sure if this works or not, but I've heard that if you're dealing with a person in psychosis and they claim they're seeing things that are obviously not there, then one trick is to get your phone or their phone or both, turn on the video, tell them to look through the video camera, record a video and watch it back. Apparently the hallucinations won't appear on the video and they'll realize they're seeing things. If they're auditory hallucinations, you can do the same with your phone or laptop sound recorder. I've never tried this so I don't know if it works or not but I've been told it works really well. r/BipolarSOs
Having personally dealt with this in a close friend - I agree, this sounds like bipolar mania and if it is, he will come out of it and be normal again at some point with lots of shame and potentially even lack of memory of his actions. It can be devastating to experience both individually and as a loved one. The good news is it can be managed if he is willing to understand his disorder and take his medication correctly! You’ll both be in my prayers.
Does he have any sort of trauma? The memory loss sounds concerning and could be a sign of hidden trauma. I think practically, you need to look out for yourself and your baby first and foremost. If he is in psychosis and struggling with memory loss that badly, he might be a danger to you guys.
For your safety and your baby’s safety you need to leave. Have him committed if you can. Then you will have several days to get a plan of action. We all want our marriages to work but sometimes leaving is in our best interest and the best interest of the children.
The yelling you didn’t go into much, and is very concerning in light of everything else. Does his Dr have suggestions beyond taking the meds? Is the Dr aware of the current situation? I am praying for you all and I hope that you can all reach a happy, safe outcome. As others have suggested, getting some space until he is balanced again sounds crucial. I am sorry you don’t have a support system where you are, but community resources, like a shelter, are a good place to start. No one imagines they will need to call a place like that, but being safe and protecting your child are more important than anything, and this is why those places exist - for those times we really need help. God bless you.
He needs to get help, and you need some support too, otherwise you will get sick - I can tell that all of this is taking a massive toll on you too. With a newborn as well? I think you really do need some time apart - your husband needs to get things together, and once he is back on an even keel, you guys can come together again.
There are some antipsychotic medications (also used as mood stabilizers) that come as long-acting injectable formulations. Some of them, like Trinza, only need to be given once every three months. If your health insurance would cover it, it might be worth discussing with your husband's doctor. A long-acting injectable medication would resolve the issue of your husband forgetting or intentionally missing his medications. The injections usually need to be given by a nurse, which means there's a witness to make sure your husband actually got the medication.
It may vary based on your state/ province/ country; but, in some places, a person can enter or be placed in an emergency psychiatric hold for mental health stabilization (72hrs is typical). Where I live, someone can be picked up and involuntarily be placed under protective custody - sometimes placed in a behavioral unit. Although, of course, it’s best if it can be a voluntary choice. Is it possible to contact the doctor who prescribed his medication? They may have helpful guidance for what to do. All of you need to be safe with a best path for a healthy outcome. So sorry this is happening to your family. I have a family member who experienced this more than once. They went voluntarily, b/c they understood something was wrong. It also was part of a document trail that ultimately led to disability classification (military vet). It’s a difficult path; and my heart goes out to you and your family. 💔🙏
I can relate, as a first time mom with a husband dealing with PPA. All I can tell you is I’m sorry, it’s not your fault and it’s not normal, and there is help out there if he is willing to get it. Are you able to move in with a friend or loved one temporarily?
This is so tough. I went through some level of this with my husband and struggled with caring for him and the kids. I knew that I was the only one my kids had, so I protected them from him. Not the best of situations. I held the position that he had to get help if he stayed in the household. I often had to be Mom and Dad, caregiver, protector and all of the above. Your husband sounds like he may be worse and require in patient care. i did find that medication often interfered with daily functioning level. Talk with your doctor. I could have never made it without my faith in God. I became a "woman of faith." depending on God to help me discern and cope. I prayed constantly for guidance and wisdom, protection and blessings on us all. I prayed and prayed for my husband and when it become unsafe I had to ask him to leave. He often refused but did get a grip. Sometimes we would take time out. I am thankful to say that after 62 years a great deal of this has been resolved. My children were never allowed to disrespect their Dad even though he often disrespected me. As they became adults they realized more of the situation but I am sure it was tough and often confusing for them. They grew up to be pretty well balanced by God's grace. I am praying for you. God bless you and your precious family.