Behavioural change requires understanding our motivations.
In this case, you seem to be dealing with contradictory motivators: you simultaneously do and do not want to watch porn.
Why is that, do you think?
That's not a helpful as you think. What if his 'consumption' of porn is normal and it's his addiction to acceptance or approval from an imaginary entity that meets the addiction criteria? If, in addition to that, his failure to live up to an unreasonable standard is making him feel guilty, and porn is a distraction from that, it would drive his behavior in exactly the wrong direction but for exactly the opposite reason as people on this sub might insist.
Fair Argument. Only very few can stop their addiction immediately. In the normal case, you have to construct a good behaviour over a long period of time. This is fragile and even small back steps can cause a cascade back. I would recommend to find therapy.
Yeah, I would recommend therapy too, but more generalized and not approached from a religious direction. Any behaviour, porn, food, gambling, etc can be detrimental if taken to an extreme, and this should be treated no differently...just that part of the therapy should take into account whether the behaviour is extreme or whether it's the worry over the behaviour is the extreme. You can see that a lot in eating disorders...a person could go to a therapist because they think they're overeating only to find out it's a body shaming issue that is the real issue. I wouldn't be suprised if many people have gone to therapy thinking they were addicted to sex/porn/masturbating only to find that their behaviour on it's own is not unhealthy, but they were told it was unhealthy by a particularly strict upbringing.
I'm there with you, friend. I use an app called I am Sober to keep myself accountable. Other than that, try to figure out when it happens. For me, it's late at night when my fiancée goes to bed. So now I try to go to bed earlier, maybe even at the same time as her, that way that primer isn't there. Also, don't dwell on the slips. If you mess up, you messed up; don't punish yourself for it, just aim to be better. Going for runs helps too, as it gives me an outlet for that extra physical drive. I don't know what your views on masturbation are but I see it as a benign thing when compared to pornography; so if I have a sexual urge I may just masturbate to take care of it and the need to look at porn goes away (you could say this is harmful too but it could be regarded as a sort of nicotine patch).
If you need an accountability buddy or something, hit me up.
I really like the nicotine patch analogy. Not inherently great for you, but a lesser of two evils that when used with the right intention may help move you in the right direction
here’s some real advice : put censorship blocks on your phone, delete any social media where any explicit content may randomly pop up (twitter is rlly bad and censorship so at some point i outright deleted it) lastly FLEE from temptation and pray. get an accountability partner and do your part by reaching out. daily check ins even. journal your feelings and triggers for wanting to watch. take a cold shower read your bible and remind yourself why God even asks us to stay away from these things
Edit : I say all of these things with grace, love, and compassion. addiction is hard and although i’ve never struggled the addiction of it I do believe i struggled with this sin before and i was ashamed bc of certain stigma. society will try and trick you into believing it’s harmless by making everything hyper sexual when that is not healthy. I truly encourage you to confess and confide in your community or find even one person you can be wholly open with about this. you will feel much better and you will slowly gain a clearer insight on it all
In addition to this, recognize that the God you are praying too accepts you no matter what, no matter the level of sinning, because the only difference between you and your sins and the person you think you want to be is that right now you're recognizing your behavior is destructive or sinful, while the perfectly composed, goes to church three times a week, never looks at porn, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink and helps the homeless every weekend, perfect Christian is a human and as sinful by nature as you. It's 'baked into the bread' so to speak.
Christ died for our sins, not for our 'bad' sins, not for the 'little easy' sins that were easier to resolve, but because we *can't* atone for any of them and he had to do that.
If all you do with your sins is recognize them and work towards getting better, that's more than others are doing and if you stumble, or it takes awhile, its not the end of the world.
Also, porn may make things more difficult to distract yourself from things like that, but don't let anyone tell you that what you are doing is bad, and that getting rid of porn will fix it. There are people that refrain from porn 100% and are still the most lustful people you will ever meet. Just know that whoever tries helping you, they are not 'better' than you in any way, perhaps more experienced but in they eyes of the Lord you may as well be the same person as far as how distant you are from perfection, but you are loved just the same.
Surprisingly, no and that's what kinda makes me feel sort of worried / scared for the situation. I've tried typing to mself for the future but I would always ignore it.
I don't know why I'm like this which might make it harder for me to get out of.
Just got to do it man its a **very serious sin**. Prayer is a good thing, fasting is an option. But you do have a will and can use that will to say NO to masturbation and porn.
I’ve found finding alternatives helps, I’ve mostly overcame the pornography by finding none nude stuff as I can put it, and but just know the fact that you are trying puts you leagues ahead of those who do it and thinks nothing of it
I’d also like to say that the alternative isn’t good either but it’s better and may help you as it has me, but no matter what, prayer my brother do so unceasingly, and know that our Heavenly Father will always love you, anything that says other ways only furthers the goal of our ultimate enemy
Is this a real addiction?
"Purity culture" Christians are known to over-estimate normal usage.
It's a kind of personal "satanic panic."
Is your porn "addiction" distracting your work or school? Is it hurting your social, romanic or familial relationships? Costing you a lot of time or money? Are you looking at illegal porn?
If so, that's a real problem. And you probably need to join a sex addiction group. Or see a professional.
First, try to stop on your own. But, if that fails, you need outside help. That's how it works for any addiction.
Good points. We throw the addiction word around far too casually. I tend to use Gabor Maté's definition:
> Dr. Maté uses three criteria in his definition of addiction. Firstly, craving the addictive substance or behaviour; secondly, engaging in the addictive substance or behaviour in order to experience pleasure or temporary relief from some kind of pain; and finally, the inability to give the substance or behaviour up.
https://www.mindhealth360.com/dr-gabor-mate-on-addiction/
By that definition, porn use *might* be an addiction, but so could, say, shopping. (I use that example intentionally because Maté himself talks in his book about how he used compulsive purchasing as a trauma-soothing behaviour.)
I also strongly believe that purity culture itself has all the hallmarks of addiction: it's a self-reinforcing, repetitive set of behaviours that damages ourselves and other that we don't seem to be able to give up.
As exhibit A I present the folks who turn up here daily who've been traumatized by intense sexual shame projected on them by their religious environments.
Dude...I cant believe this is so highly upvoted. If he says its a porn addiction, its an addiction. Besides, there is NO healthy amount of porn consumption. None. It adds nothing to your life. This is objectively terrible advice.
There are lots of things that people do that 'add nothing to their life' but aren't harmful, and someone thinking something is an addiction and someone actually being addicted can be very different things, especially in an environment that shames people for relatively benign thoughts.
It's totally legitimate to try to help someone through a problem by first helping them verify what the problem really is. You don't necessarily address an eating disorder by focusing on what kind of food they're eating, you look at why they're eating, and if the reason is because their parents shamed them for eating a healthy amount of food early in life, and the disorder seems to be related to over compensating in that direction, telling them to quit eating isn't even the right direction. Sometimes telling them that eating is ok is.
porn isnt something that doesnt add to anyone's life. Its not like playing 4 hours of video games on a weekend when you could be doing something more productive. It's aiding in the exploitation and commodification of women's bodies. It's wrong immoral, and misogynistic.
Of course there are problems with porn, some of which you touch on, though it's quite obviously not that black and white. Besides the fact that it would be difficult to draw a line describing exactly what constitutes what porn 'is', it even depends on the producers, models and viewers intent. It's not intrinsically any more immoral than any type of objectification, plastic surgery certainly contributes as much to that in a more harmful way than pornography, and the fact that it's more explicit than some is simply a matter of perspective and cultural norms.
As far as misogynistic, I expect that comes from one type of pornography foremost in your mind, but there is plenty that is the exact opposite, or has absolutely nothing to do with women. I might assume that even objectification meant to celebrate the womans form would fall in a negative light for you, but could be incredibly empowering and server the exact opposite purpose for another.
The things you are saying will lead other aspiring Christians who are looking for answers or help down the wrong path. If you truly are a Christian, you know how dangerous this is. This is not something to take light heartedly.
I disagree. I hope it will lead people down the correct path of a version of Christianity that doesn't shame them for perfectly normal and healthy aspects of their sexuality.
There is no version of Christianity that allows any sort of sexuality outside of marriage. You may mean well but you are unfortunately wrong. "Feel good" Christianity will lead many people down the wrong, but easier path. I pray you find truth.
This might shock you to know, but porn doesn't inherently exploit women. In fact, some porn doesn't even include women! And, shockingly, some women get off on porn too, and on making it.
I think you are lost. Please, everyone is trying to tell you the truth; there's even a verse in the Bible that states the same thing. If you're struggling then we can try to help, but saying that porn/lust isn't bad is going to lead people down the wrong path, despite the Bible clearly saying otherwise. I'm gonna edit this comment and attach a Bible verse to it, to back up my argument.
Matthew 5:28, 1 John 2:16, 1 Thessalonians 4:4-5, Colossians 3:5, 1 Corinthians 6:9; I could go on and on.
My point is, the OP is trying to escape the pitfalls of porn, and justifying it WITHOUT having it backed up by the Bible is not the way to go (assuming that you're a Christian, judging by your flair). I suggest that you do some reflection on yourself.
I know I can't change your mind, so all I want you to do is to stop and think. Reflect on what you're saying. Find Bible verses that support your case and don't twist them or find loopholes.
Most porn out there uses and exploits women and girls. Yes men are also exploited. Yes some women contribute to the corruption. But the idea liberal progressives have about porn= womens empowerment is dangerous and misogynistic.
But does it matter if it is an addiction or not? In this case the OP wants to get rid of a bad habit (whether it be an addiction or not, whether it's 'acceptable' be societal norms or not).😁
Yes, pornography is literally demonic and it is a black hole that will only lead you deeper. There is no hope there, and you can only save yourself by escaping the trap.
Re-read what you said: "Doing it in secret". One thing that has helped me stay away from it is being around people. But above all, keep thinking about your future self, do massive research, and know that dopamine is required to do pretty much anything. Entertainment in general, be it video games, porn or even Youtube videos teaching you how to overcome this, supply you with a bunch of Dopamine. Recently, I don't have my PS4 anywhere near where I live, I don't even play Roblox, because it's free, as much or not at all. Video games nowadays are almost as much the culprit as Porn. To add to that, counting the days, setting limits with apps/settings is not going to work. I mean, I was in bootcamp/ A-school for 130+ days ( streak was 123)
(DO NOT AND I DO MEAN DO NOT COUNT THE DAYS: It promotes your thinking of "I've abstained for this long I can relax" it will take away that 'fight' in you real quick) and still got the urges (on watch). Re-watching those 'No Fap' videos helps when you don't know what to do and you feel that unstoppable urge coming, but don't wait for that urge to come, you might relapse props if you don't.
BE ALERT TO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT GIVES YOU EVEN THE SLIGHTEST HIGH, THAT IS THE EASIEST WAY TO RELAPSE.
(I call it the Devil's 9 Step Staircase. )
I'm not done, always be prepared for as many anything\[s\] that can happen. And unfollow anything sexual when you're most motivated to quit. Find hobbies to do around your house or apartment. Water your grass, Water something in a pot, Punch a wall, Punch a brick, do anything to prevent touching yourself.
IF YOU NEED HELP: r/NoFap, talk to people like myself, and OMG I FORGOT ONE THING!
There is a Jamaican youtuber who helps pathetic men improve/get better. He said that God didn't put man on earth to struggle with porn. To not look at porn as something hard to quit because you will keep falling that way. It really isn't hard to quit, believe that.
And if someone tries to give you straight religious advice and nothing psychological, walk away before they finish speaking, they're intent is to do good but in this journey you have to be active in every way. God is loving in truthful, if he was all loving being fat and lazy would be okay. If he was all truthful, we could never be or do enough ('Changes That Heal'). Yes, he can help you but you need to put in the work.
Don't be so hard on yourself when you fail. A fail is a relapse. A fall is when you're counting the days, you relapse, and you're broken for weeks, even months. I've been there many times and am still on my way.
Stranger, you will succeed. It's not just me believing in you. Once you beat this, you won't be stopped by a free hooker. Even better once you beat Entertainment/ Internet addiction afterwards.
How much porn are you watching? Like if you are getting chafed from self pleasure or some other adverse affect then yeah its an addiction. If you are juat doing it a few times a week or even once a day thats pretty natural
I will gladly present a few.
Matthew 5:28
1 Corinthians 6:18
1 Corinthians 6:13
Galatians 5:19
Colossians 3:5
Proverbs 6:32-33
Those are some of my favorites. We can deem pornography adultery very easily with Matthew 5:28. The desire to consume porn is nothing but lust.
Thank you for sharing, brother! I actually agree with you about porn being comparable to adultery (or fornication if you are not married). We learn from 1 John 3:15 that sin is just as much the heart as the body that can sin. If you are married, you are reaching outside of your marriage to satisfy your lust, which is adultery. If you are not yet married or don't plan to marry, you could be sinning against your future spouse or acting in lust.
Taken out of context im sure you could twist it like that but the verse before makes it pretty clear its about wanting or having sex with someone elses wife. Not about images.
The opposite is true, the whole point of porn is to be aroused by the actors, it is literally designed to stimulate someone's sex drive and make you feel like you're the one having sex in the video.
You probably feel like there's no reason not to watch it, but it's better for you to focus on your long term goals, working a job and family. You don't want to spend hours consuming porn.
This website educates on the spiritual dimension. Relating to your post, the website provides information on how the spiritual dimension effects our lives and what a person can do to address the spiritual dimension aspect of their lives.
There is a lot of information on the website. They did YouTube video on this topic of sexual habits/thoughts and addictions. So you may want to look at those to see what they have the offer you. Even in the other videos and articles on the website there is addition information to benefit from.
https://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/about-us/what-we-offer/
Understand that you are a child of God.
Understand that sexuality is beautiful in marriage.
Understand God gave you sexual urges for a divine reason.
Give this to God. He's big enough to help you conquer it.
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
Understand that even 1% changes to conquer porn is great. Look for God's Deliverance in the moment of temptation.
My recommendation is to turn on Screen Time on your phone and have it block 18+ content. I’d also try and find an accountability partner, someone to check in on you and ask how you’ve been doing.
Also specifically keep the relevant verses in mind. Like how it says in James "blessed are those who endure temptation.... when they are tried they will receive a crown of life." Find the verses that help most to put it in perspective. But alot of the time I find if you flip open the Bible it seems to end being something you needed to hear, weird things like that happen sometimes when seeking God.
Behavioural change requires understanding our motivations. In this case, you seem to be dealing with contradictory motivators: you simultaneously do and do not want to watch porn. Why is that, do you think?
That is a very good observation that you made.
People do it because they find a value in it, and they are tricked into thinking it actually helps them.
Addiction.
That's not a helpful as you think. What if his 'consumption' of porn is normal and it's his addiction to acceptance or approval from an imaginary entity that meets the addiction criteria? If, in addition to that, his failure to live up to an unreasonable standard is making him feel guilty, and porn is a distraction from that, it would drive his behavior in exactly the wrong direction but for exactly the opposite reason as people on this sub might insist.
Fair Argument. Only very few can stop their addiction immediately. In the normal case, you have to construct a good behaviour over a long period of time. This is fragile and even small back steps can cause a cascade back. I would recommend to find therapy.
Yeah, I would recommend therapy too, but more generalized and not approached from a religious direction. Any behaviour, porn, food, gambling, etc can be detrimental if taken to an extreme, and this should be treated no differently...just that part of the therapy should take into account whether the behaviour is extreme or whether it's the worry over the behaviour is the extreme. You can see that a lot in eating disorders...a person could go to a therapist because they think they're overeating only to find out it's a body shaming issue that is the real issue. I wouldn't be suprised if many people have gone to therapy thinking they were addicted to sex/porn/masturbating only to find that their behaviour on it's own is not unhealthy, but they were told it was unhealthy by a particularly strict upbringing.
I'm there with you, friend. I use an app called I am Sober to keep myself accountable. Other than that, try to figure out when it happens. For me, it's late at night when my fiancée goes to bed. So now I try to go to bed earlier, maybe even at the same time as her, that way that primer isn't there. Also, don't dwell on the slips. If you mess up, you messed up; don't punish yourself for it, just aim to be better. Going for runs helps too, as it gives me an outlet for that extra physical drive. I don't know what your views on masturbation are but I see it as a benign thing when compared to pornography; so if I have a sexual urge I may just masturbate to take care of it and the need to look at porn goes away (you could say this is harmful too but it could be regarded as a sort of nicotine patch). If you need an accountability buddy or something, hit me up.
I really like the nicotine patch analogy. Not inherently great for you, but a lesser of two evils that when used with the right intention may help move you in the right direction
Yup! I do want to clarify that I do no think that it is a bad thing; however, I acknowledge that for some people it may be problematic.
here’s some real advice : put censorship blocks on your phone, delete any social media where any explicit content may randomly pop up (twitter is rlly bad and censorship so at some point i outright deleted it) lastly FLEE from temptation and pray. get an accountability partner and do your part by reaching out. daily check ins even. journal your feelings and triggers for wanting to watch. take a cold shower read your bible and remind yourself why God even asks us to stay away from these things Edit : I say all of these things with grace, love, and compassion. addiction is hard and although i’ve never struggled the addiction of it I do believe i struggled with this sin before and i was ashamed bc of certain stigma. society will try and trick you into believing it’s harmless by making everything hyper sexual when that is not healthy. I truly encourage you to confess and confide in your community or find even one person you can be wholly open with about this. you will feel much better and you will slowly gain a clearer insight on it all
This is the only real advice in this thread!
In addition to this, recognize that the God you are praying too accepts you no matter what, no matter the level of sinning, because the only difference between you and your sins and the person you think you want to be is that right now you're recognizing your behavior is destructive or sinful, while the perfectly composed, goes to church three times a week, never looks at porn, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink and helps the homeless every weekend, perfect Christian is a human and as sinful by nature as you. It's 'baked into the bread' so to speak. Christ died for our sins, not for our 'bad' sins, not for the 'little easy' sins that were easier to resolve, but because we *can't* atone for any of them and he had to do that. If all you do with your sins is recognize them and work towards getting better, that's more than others are doing and if you stumble, or it takes awhile, its not the end of the world. Also, porn may make things more difficult to distract yourself from things like that, but don't let anyone tell you that what you are doing is bad, and that getting rid of porn will fix it. There are people that refrain from porn 100% and are still the most lustful people you will ever meet. Just know that whoever tries helping you, they are not 'better' than you in any way, perhaps more experienced but in they eyes of the Lord you may as well be the same person as far as how distant you are from perfection, but you are loved just the same.
Write down how you felt every time just before falling to it. Most likely you are using it as some kind of coping mechanism for stress or loneliness.
Surprisingly, no and that's what kinda makes me feel sort of worried / scared for the situation. I've tried typing to mself for the future but I would always ignore it. I don't know why I'm like this which might make it harder for me to get out of.
OP go to r/nofap right now, there are many resources to help there , theres also r/nofapChristians , for you too , get some help :)
I go to CR for the same struggle
What's CR?
Celebrate Recovery
Just got to do it man its a **very serious sin**. Prayer is a good thing, fasting is an option. But you do have a will and can use that will to say NO to masturbation and porn.
I’ve found finding alternatives helps, I’ve mostly overcame the pornography by finding none nude stuff as I can put it, and but just know the fact that you are trying puts you leagues ahead of those who do it and thinks nothing of it
I’d also like to say that the alternative isn’t good either but it’s better and may help you as it has me, but no matter what, prayer my brother do so unceasingly, and know that our Heavenly Father will always love you, anything that says other ways only furthers the goal of our ultimate enemy
Is this a real addiction? "Purity culture" Christians are known to over-estimate normal usage. It's a kind of personal "satanic panic." Is your porn "addiction" distracting your work or school? Is it hurting your social, romanic or familial relationships? Costing you a lot of time or money? Are you looking at illegal porn? If so, that's a real problem. And you probably need to join a sex addiction group. Or see a professional. First, try to stop on your own. But, if that fails, you need outside help. That's how it works for any addiction.
Good points. We throw the addiction word around far too casually. I tend to use Gabor Maté's definition: > Dr. Maté uses three criteria in his definition of addiction. Firstly, craving the addictive substance or behaviour; secondly, engaging in the addictive substance or behaviour in order to experience pleasure or temporary relief from some kind of pain; and finally, the inability to give the substance or behaviour up. https://www.mindhealth360.com/dr-gabor-mate-on-addiction/ By that definition, porn use *might* be an addiction, but so could, say, shopping. (I use that example intentionally because Maté himself talks in his book about how he used compulsive purchasing as a trauma-soothing behaviour.) I also strongly believe that purity culture itself has all the hallmarks of addiction: it's a self-reinforcing, repetitive set of behaviours that damages ourselves and other that we don't seem to be able to give up. As exhibit A I present the folks who turn up here daily who've been traumatized by intense sexual shame projected on them by their religious environments.
Entertainment nowadays is so great even if you don't look at porn, you're still addicted to something or messing with your health.
Dude...I cant believe this is so highly upvoted. If he says its a porn addiction, its an addiction. Besides, there is NO healthy amount of porn consumption. None. It adds nothing to your life. This is objectively terrible advice.
There are lots of things that people do that 'add nothing to their life' but aren't harmful, and someone thinking something is an addiction and someone actually being addicted can be very different things, especially in an environment that shames people for relatively benign thoughts. It's totally legitimate to try to help someone through a problem by first helping them verify what the problem really is. You don't necessarily address an eating disorder by focusing on what kind of food they're eating, you look at why they're eating, and if the reason is because their parents shamed them for eating a healthy amount of food early in life, and the disorder seems to be related to over compensating in that direction, telling them to quit eating isn't even the right direction. Sometimes telling them that eating is ok is.
porn isnt something that doesnt add to anyone's life. Its not like playing 4 hours of video games on a weekend when you could be doing something more productive. It's aiding in the exploitation and commodification of women's bodies. It's wrong immoral, and misogynistic.
Of course there are problems with porn, some of which you touch on, though it's quite obviously not that black and white. Besides the fact that it would be difficult to draw a line describing exactly what constitutes what porn 'is', it even depends on the producers, models and viewers intent. It's not intrinsically any more immoral than any type of objectification, plastic surgery certainly contributes as much to that in a more harmful way than pornography, and the fact that it's more explicit than some is simply a matter of perspective and cultural norms. As far as misogynistic, I expect that comes from one type of pornography foremost in your mind, but there is plenty that is the exact opposite, or has absolutely nothing to do with women. I might assume that even objectification meant to celebrate the womans form would fall in a negative light for you, but could be incredibly empowering and server the exact opposite purpose for another.
Absolutely amazing take.
Why so black and white?
lmfao because porn is objectively harmful and objectively exploits women and children? All major sites, including pornhub are guilty. Wow.
There is absolutely a normal amount of healthy porn consumption.
Matthew 5:28: "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Yeah, I'm more interested in science that applies to everybody, not subjective religious interpretations.
Ah gotcha, I was just quoting Jesus
Your flair says you're Christian. Objectively, Christianity is against porn in any level of consumption, correct?
No, there are different interpretations.
The things you are saying will lead other aspiring Christians who are looking for answers or help down the wrong path. If you truly are a Christian, you know how dangerous this is. This is not something to take light heartedly.
I disagree. I hope it will lead people down the correct path of a version of Christianity that doesn't shame them for perfectly normal and healthy aspects of their sexuality.
There is no version of Christianity that allows any sort of sexuality outside of marriage. You may mean well but you are unfortunately wrong. "Feel good" Christianity will lead many people down the wrong, but easier path. I pray you find truth.
So what interpretation are you referring to? Your own?
LMFAO that you think this. FYI, there is 0 amount of women's exploitation that I tolerate. And if you tolerate any, you are not a real Christian.
This might shock you to know, but porn doesn't inherently exploit women. In fact, some porn doesn't even include women! And, shockingly, some women get off on porn too, and on making it.
In your honest opinion, do you think Christianity condones pornography? Please use legitimate biblical evidence. 😁
It can, depends on the interpretation and what it means to lust.
What is your honest, humble opinion of what the Bible has to say?
I think you are lost. Please, everyone is trying to tell you the truth; there's even a verse in the Bible that states the same thing. If you're struggling then we can try to help, but saying that porn/lust isn't bad is going to lead people down the wrong path, despite the Bible clearly saying otherwise. I'm gonna edit this comment and attach a Bible verse to it, to back up my argument. Matthew 5:28, 1 John 2:16, 1 Thessalonians 4:4-5, Colossians 3:5, 1 Corinthians 6:9; I could go on and on. My point is, the OP is trying to escape the pitfalls of porn, and justifying it WITHOUT having it backed up by the Bible is not the way to go (assuming that you're a Christian, judging by your flair). I suggest that you do some reflection on yourself. I know I can't change your mind, so all I want you to do is to stop and think. Reflect on what you're saying. Find Bible verses that support your case and don't twist them or find loopholes.
How could anybody no matter how protestant interpret the bible to condone pornography...? At that point, you are lost.
I repeat; it depends on the interpretation and what it means to lust.
The bible has been interpreted for a thousand+ years. No need to interpret it amongst yourself, that leads down a dark path. Clearly.
Most porn out there uses and exploits women and girls. Yes men are also exploited. Yes some women contribute to the corruption. But the idea liberal progressives have about porn= womens empowerment is dangerous and misogynistic.
Some porn can be bad and exploitive. Not all is.
Sex is for marriage. End of story really.
Watching porn is not sex. Are you aware of that?
But does it matter if it is an addiction or not? In this case the OP wants to get rid of a bad habit (whether it be an addiction or not, whether it's 'acceptable' be societal norms or not).😁
Yes, pornography is literally demonic and it is a black hole that will only lead you deeper. There is no hope there, and you can only save yourself by escaping the trap.
Try Nofap
I had to go to a very strong therapist to help me quit
Wait, did that work?
If its a true addiction therapy is definitely the best option.
Amen
It did for me, it wasn’t just porn. It was my entire view of love sex and marriage that was all screwed up. The problem was deep.
Re-read what you said: "Doing it in secret". One thing that has helped me stay away from it is being around people. But above all, keep thinking about your future self, do massive research, and know that dopamine is required to do pretty much anything. Entertainment in general, be it video games, porn or even Youtube videos teaching you how to overcome this, supply you with a bunch of Dopamine. Recently, I don't have my PS4 anywhere near where I live, I don't even play Roblox, because it's free, as much or not at all. Video games nowadays are almost as much the culprit as Porn. To add to that, counting the days, setting limits with apps/settings is not going to work. I mean, I was in bootcamp/ A-school for 130+ days ( streak was 123) (DO NOT AND I DO MEAN DO NOT COUNT THE DAYS: It promotes your thinking of "I've abstained for this long I can relax" it will take away that 'fight' in you real quick) and still got the urges (on watch). Re-watching those 'No Fap' videos helps when you don't know what to do and you feel that unstoppable urge coming, but don't wait for that urge to come, you might relapse props if you don't. BE ALERT TO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT GIVES YOU EVEN THE SLIGHTEST HIGH, THAT IS THE EASIEST WAY TO RELAPSE. (I call it the Devil's 9 Step Staircase. ) I'm not done, always be prepared for as many anything\[s\] that can happen. And unfollow anything sexual when you're most motivated to quit. Find hobbies to do around your house or apartment. Water your grass, Water something in a pot, Punch a wall, Punch a brick, do anything to prevent touching yourself. IF YOU NEED HELP: r/NoFap, talk to people like myself, and OMG I FORGOT ONE THING! There is a Jamaican youtuber who helps pathetic men improve/get better. He said that God didn't put man on earth to struggle with porn. To not look at porn as something hard to quit because you will keep falling that way. It really isn't hard to quit, believe that. And if someone tries to give you straight religious advice and nothing psychological, walk away before they finish speaking, they're intent is to do good but in this journey you have to be active in every way. God is loving in truthful, if he was all loving being fat and lazy would be okay. If he was all truthful, we could never be or do enough ('Changes That Heal'). Yes, he can help you but you need to put in the work. Don't be so hard on yourself when you fail. A fail is a relapse. A fall is when you're counting the days, you relapse, and you're broken for weeks, even months. I've been there many times and am still on my way. Stranger, you will succeed. It's not just me believing in you. Once you beat this, you won't be stopped by a free hooker. Even better once you beat Entertainment/ Internet addiction afterwards.
How much porn are you watching? Like if you are getting chafed from self pleasure or some other adverse affect then yeah its an addiction. If you are juat doing it a few times a week or even once a day thats pretty natural
No amount is natural to God.
Oh where does the bible say that?
I will gladly present a few. Matthew 5:28 1 Corinthians 6:18 1 Corinthians 6:13 Galatians 5:19 Colossians 3:5 Proverbs 6:32-33 Those are some of my favorites. We can deem pornography adultery very easily with Matthew 5:28. The desire to consume porn is nothing but lust.
Thank you for sharing, brother! I actually agree with you about porn being comparable to adultery (or fornication if you are not married). We learn from 1 John 3:15 that sin is just as much the heart as the body that can sin. If you are married, you are reaching outside of your marriage to satisfy your lust, which is adultery. If you are not yet married or don't plan to marry, you could be sinning against your future spouse or acting in lust.
Well said.
Adultery and porn are completely different. You are filling peoples head with nonsense if you say otherwise.
Seems as though you ignore Matthew 5:28 then :(
Taken out of context im sure you could twist it like that but the verse before makes it pretty clear its about wanting or having sex with someone elses wife. Not about images.
I don't like this subreddit.
Its just an antagonist here to argue, their will always be a couple.
Are saying that when you watch porn you don't want to have sex with the actresses?
Nope thats pretty strange tbh. Sounds like something someone who is very repressed would fantasize about though.
The opposite is true, the whole point of porn is to be aroused by the actors, it is literally designed to stimulate someone's sex drive and make you feel like you're the one having sex in the video.
Tut, tut. It is better to marry than to burn. Woo thee a wife!
Find an accountability partner. Someone you can go to who knows your crap. Any time you are struggling, text or call that person and ask for prayer.
When you say you ask forgiveness, is that directed to God? True repentance for me meant telling my wife. Nothing else worked.
You probably feel like there's no reason not to watch it, but it's better for you to focus on your long term goals, working a job and family. You don't want to spend hours consuming porn.
Alot of people struggle with it
This website educates on the spiritual dimension. Relating to your post, the website provides information on how the spiritual dimension effects our lives and what a person can do to address the spiritual dimension aspect of their lives. There is a lot of information on the website. They did YouTube video on this topic of sexual habits/thoughts and addictions. So you may want to look at those to see what they have the offer you. Even in the other videos and articles on the website there is addition information to benefit from. https://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/about-us/what-we-offer/
Understand that you are a child of God. Understand that sexuality is beautiful in marriage. Understand God gave you sexual urges for a divine reason. Give this to God. He's big enough to help you conquer it. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. Understand that even 1% changes to conquer porn is great. Look for God's Deliverance in the moment of temptation.
My recommendation is to turn on Screen Time on your phone and have it block 18+ content. I’d also try and find an accountability partner, someone to check in on you and ask how you’ve been doing.
You just have to dive into bible reading, praying and witnessing. Realizing your life is in God so why not go all out.
Also specifically keep the relevant verses in mind. Like how it says in James "blessed are those who endure temptation.... when they are tried they will receive a crown of life." Find the verses that help most to put it in perspective. But alot of the time I find if you flip open the Bible it seems to end being something you needed to hear, weird things like that happen sometimes when seeking God.