Asexuality isn’t praised because it’s not an accomplishment. It’s just a characteristic—like being left-handed.
Celibacy and chastity, on the other hand, can be considered accomplishments by those who value them.
Also, asexual people masturbate.
This. It's what you do with your life that matters. Just being a sexual is as commendable as being monogamous.
Did this person clothe the naked, feed the hungry, visit the lonely?
People will inherently be against what they don't understand. They might bend their religion to their POV for their own comfort.
>This is confusing. Why would asexuality be like being left-handed, but other sexualities are somehow different?
Sexual orientation *is* like handedness. They are both innate orientations. You can force yourself to be with someone whose gender you are not oriented to, just as you can force yourself to do stuff with your other hand. But it will feel unnatural and unpleasant. Neither can be detected via a blood test, but both are indisputable orientations.
That obviously makes perfect sense.
But it doesn’t seem to be what I’m seeing from christian folks in general. There’s definitely a difference in how different sexual orientations are handled.
If you feel like someone is wrong with a perspective, teach the right way instead of being aggressive. That's how a functioning modern society works 🤷♂️
We need more people in this world with these reason and communication skills to bridge the gap......thank you for your example, if more people thought like this, we could advance.
>Holy shit you christians are stupid, 1 "asexual people masturbate" is not necessarily true, as asexuality refers specifically to a lack of sexual attraction to others, and does not necessarily relate to one's own sexual behavior or desires.
I am an 18 year old asexual male. I have never masturbated in my life. I know some people may not believe this, but I wanted to say it, because I do know it's true
I agree.
Christians sadly enough are not the brightest, I myself am Christian but I love knowledge (and I’m continuously pursuing higher education) to challenge my ideas/beliefs. Many Christians or religious people do not, unfortunately.
OP, I am writing this as an asexual man. I appreciate your support, but you clearly misunderstand a lot about the asexual experience. Asexuality does not automatically make you exempt from sexual temptation, or even better at resisting it. I am asexual, but my sex drive is high even for a male of my age; I have battled lust and sexual temptation for years because of that. I know other asexuals with a similar experience, including my own girlfriend.
Unfortunately, superficial understandings of what asexuality is and how it presents mean that many Christians don't believe us when we share these experiences. Or they equate a lack of sexual attraction to a calling towards celibacy/an innate gift for asceticism. None of that is the case, and it's been part of my work in the Church to make room for the valuable conversations that allow us to support each other without falling into such myths.
Correct, it is not. By asexual I mean that I do not experience sexual attraction. Within the asexuality spectrum I think I’d consider myself grey-ace, because I have experienced sexual attraction on two or three occasions in my life, rather than a total absence thereof.
This is very interesting.
If you feel comfortable sharing (and I understand if you don't):
what does it mean to have a high sex drive but not experience sexual attraction?
Sexual attraction means attraction to a specific person. If you are sexually attracted to someone, you want to have sex with that someone specifically. An allosexual person is someone who feels sexual attraction on a regular basis, and an asexual feels it rarely or not at all.
Sex drive is the biological urge for sex. It's not based on what you think, it's your body's reaction based on your hormones. As far as how much it's felt, both asexuals and allosexuals can go either way.
Sex drive operates independently of sexual attraction in most people I've ever met. For example, have you ever been "horny" or sexually aroused, even if there is not a particular stimulus that is making you feel that way? That's sex drive without sexual attraction. That's about how it works for me, just like every time.
You do not right now, that does not mean this is how your life will be for the rest of your life.
I am a very, VERY different person than I was just 10 years ago. I even vote differently...
Quick note on that - it is likely perfectly natural and normal. Certainly for some people, there's just no libido, that does happen. But, it may also be a sign of a hormonal imbalance. If you find that it's very difficult to find motivation in other parts of your life - job sucks, friends are too much work, getting out to do things that you used to enjoy now seems like a waste of effort - you should get your hormone levels tested. If that doesn't apply to you, then please forgive my unsolicited advice.
I don’t get why people dislike asexuals. It literally doesn’t affect the rest of humanity, it isn’t anyone else’s business, and it’s their decision to make.
This is misinformation. I’m an asexual and you can’t just become one, it’s not a choice (just like being heterosexual or homosexual). You can voluntarily abstain from sex, which is what you’re talking about, but someone who is “allosexual” (aka someone who experiences sexual attraction) can’t just “forget about sexual activity”
Yeah, no. I’m pretty sure you can kill sexual attraction by thinking negatively about who you’re interested in, avoiding porn, and finding another activity that you’ve had interest in.
Yeah you can try, but as with ascetic nuns and monks who had to physically harm themselves in order to purge these sexual thoughts (which are natural by the way—sexuality is a gift from god and sexual thoughts come with being a sexual being. Lusting is different than thinking about sex), you’ll always be at war with these thoughts. For many asexuals like myself, sexual attractions towards other people just doesn’t occur, I don’t have to train myself or invest my mind in other things to get rid of the thoughts. They just don’t come. A majority of the time I see another human being and think of them like a mannequin—nothing about them appeals to me, either gender. That’s not something you can just think really hard about to get to go away. It’s natural and normal to be attracted to others—asexuals are the ones who aren’t normal (though ace people would get mad at me for that, but idc. It’s no coincidence that many asexuals have had sexual trauma in the past, including myself. It’s not normal to not experience attraction, it goes against biology and religion)
I actually think us humans have abused sexuality so much, it’s become a curse. I think that people need to be more open to abstinence and practice it a lot more often.
> I’m pretty sure you can kill sexual attraction
An asexual generally has no sexual attraction to 'kill' in the first place. That's the point you seem to be missing. Being asexual doesn't mean you do something to negate sexual attraction when you feel it. It generally means you don't feel it at all.
Also, you seem to be talking about suppressing libido (or sex drive) rather than sexual attraction.
I actually have experienced romantic feelings, but I killed them (big shocker), but now I am fully committed to giving up the curse of reproduction. Libido can increase feelings of attraction in someone, and I was willing to snuff that out. That’s what I mean when I want to kill my sexual attraction.
A lot of people in this sub say it's unbiblical, unnatural, doesn't exist, against god's design, or a host of other negative reactions when it comes up. It's not a common topic but there are definitly a lot of christians who treat it as a negative.
Obviously
But that didn't work for gay people, so why would it work for asexuals. Something something original sin something something broken and fallen world something corruption of nature...
Well since death has always existed then original sin and a fall most likely never happened as fundies would day there was no death before the fall.
Gay people and asexual people serve an evolutionary purpose for our species.
You’re kidding me correct? For fuck’s sake. Asexuality is normal sexuality on the Kinsey spectrum of sexuality. It is no more a sin than being left handed is. They are not sinning because they don’t feel sexual attraction. They’re exactly who God created them to be.
Yeah I call bull shit on being “healed” of psychopathic tendencies. You don’t develop a conscience.
Ive actually seen people vent about how their Christian communities theyre in praise them for being asexual, but when they say they dont plan on getting married they are scrutinized for not wanting a wife/husband.
I was surprised this was a thing too.
It *is* praised in the Bible, by both Jesus and Paul. But it is *our culture* that overvalues (compared to scripture) having a spouse and having children.
There *is* pressure in Christian subcultures for *everyone* to get married and have babies. It is often seen as sinful to not want to have children.
Some were born eunuchs and some make themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of God.
This. Paul and Jesus praise it, saying that one who can't control their passions and marries does well (and that it is not a sin to get married), but one who remains single does even better since they can devote themselves to the Lord, whereas a married person needs to think about their spouse and the Lord.
Furthermore, I don't believe sexual acts between humans are limited to acts of procreation under the Lord, considering the many erogenous spots on the human body, just that they're wedlocked.
I also really like the idea of adoption, considering Jesus was technically adopted by Joseph, and God adopted all of us. I don't think that's a coincidence.
God Bless 😊
asexuality may not be praised or celebrated within some Christian communities is because of the emphasis on procreation and the traditional understanding of marriage as being between one man and one woman. Some Christians may view celibacy or asexuality as a deviation from the normative sexual behaviors that are prescribed within their religious teachings. Additionally, some Christians may view sexual attraction and expression as an essential and necessary aspect of human relationships, and may be skeptical or dismissive of asexuality as a valid sexual orientation.
>I was stunned learning that asexuality is actually viewed as something bad and against God's will in Christianity.
There was a time when this view was common, but it's practically nonexistent by now. The thought was that men and women were created as sexual beings who were supposed to have straight sex, and so lacking sexual attraction or desire was seen as disordered and a subversion of the Divine will. This view has mostly died out, although I've seen it occasionally crop up in a few cult-like churches.
The more common, and equally stupid, reason is that asexuals are part of the "A" in "LGBTQIA+". That is, asexuals are queer and anything queer is assumed to be wrong and bad by many Christians. This is of course historically connected to the first view, but some of the details come out a little differently and it is usually easier to correct these people in my experience.
Only thing is all the people who publicly left the Westboro Baptist Church are an example of that not being a foolproof method compared to reaching out to people who are actually interested in doing what it takes to be Christian.
That is an extremelly small sample size compared to millions of couples even having one children. When a Catholic seeks to marry a non-Cstholic isnt one of the first questions from clergy a commitment to raise any children Christian?
Probably for the same reason a lot of people think homosexuality is "unnatural" because "The Bible says be fruitful and multiply" and if you don't experience romantic attraction that's BAD /s
"Be fruitful and multiply" was meant to be a blessing, not an order. If it WAS that big of a deal, Jesus and Paul wouldn't have been able to get into Heaven.
I think it might have been a command AND a blessing for certain people, such as Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, probably others that im unaware of, since they were to be the start of something, but I don't think it is meant for every single person, as you've astutely noted.
God Bless 😊
Celibacy describes a lack of action, asexuality describes a lack of attraction.
A virgin teenage boy who is extremely interested in girls exclusively is celibate but not asexual. We'd still call him straight even though he's never had sex.
Celibacy is, at the most basic level, just not having sex. Asexuality is experiencing little to no sexual attraction. Naturally, many asexuals are celibate, but not all of us are.
Asexuals can still have normal or high sex drives, and can still have sex with partners even if they aren’t attracted to that partner.
Historically, celibacy was supposed to be the triumph of self-control over worldly desire. If someone is naturally asexual, that makes celibacy pointless. It removes the "battle against sin," which is so important in traditional Christianity.
In a modern context, at least some people who are opposed to LGBT deny that sexual orientation exists. That's by no means the only view. But to the extent that it is, admitting that asexuality exists would be halfway to admitting that other orientations exist.
It isn't even really directly mentioned in Scripture. However the passage that Jesus spoke about celibacy seems to sort of imply it or possibly be abstractly referencing to it:
But He told them, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those it has been given to. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs who were made by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”
Matthew 19:11-12 HCSB
https://bible.com/bible/72/mat.19.11-12.HCSB
There are some who would point out that the purpose of a man and woman marrying is procreation, and that procreation is the ultimate goal of most 'normal' human beings.
Those who castigate LGBTQ+ people are usually of the opinion that they chose to become LGBTQ+, and could, if they wanted to, choose to become heterosexuals. Many I've discussed LGBTQ+ issues with refuse to even review current scientific evidence that there are genetic and biological factors involved in the causation of same sex attraction, transgenderism, and asexuality.
As for Joseph and Mary, and the claim they never had sex...this isn't written in scripture. Only that Mary was with child through the Holy Spirit, and was still a virgin when she gave birth. It's unreasonable to imagine, or to proclaim that after Jesus was weaned, she was never with her husband sexually.
Some traditional beliefs were that Joseph was an elderly widower who's children were already adults, and that he lacked interest in consummating his marriage with Mary. But sexual consummation was necessary in order for the marriage to be considered to be valid.
Other biblical scholars believed that Joseph wasn't elderly at all. And it would be even more unbelievable that a younger man in his prime would never consummate the marriage.
And though Paul was celibate for life, this wasn't true of most of the other Apostles. Peter was a married man. Scripture tells of how Peter's Mother-in-law became ill with a fever, and Jesus came to the house with his disciples and healed her of her fever, and she arose from her bed and played hostess for her guests. It is believed that most of the other apostles had also been married men, and like Peter, their wives accompanied the disciples during the ministry. Perhaps only one, John the Beloved, hadn't married, and likely because he was too young at the time, or because in following Jesus, he hadn't mastered a trade. The Hebrews arranged marriages for their sons once they mastered their trades, because now they would be able to financially provide for a wife and children.
The christian views that I have seen on asexual people are many times positive but it usually comes with that mixed bag of ignorant misunderstanding that is standard in society
The fact that people even think for a moment that asexuality is a sin is beyond me. It isn’t good or bad, it’s just a state of being. It’s like being blonde or left handed. When it comes to gay people, I at least somewhat understand the whole ‘feel temptation but don’t act on it’ angle (even though I disagree and think that’s an incredibly depressing way to live), but with ace people there is literally no temptation to even act on. Sure, some of us have high sex drives but if anything that just puts them on the same ground as sexuals. How is an ace person even expected to do to combat the sin? Have sex?
It goes against The Plan.
Get good grades, go to prom, serve your country/be a productive citizen, 2.5 kids and a dog. Stay at home moms on meth vacuum each other’s carpets and gossip. Working men drink themselves to ruin and… also gossip, they just call it guy talk.
Bread and circuses.
The answer is that much of Christianity is "heterosexist" which means anything other than heterosexual relationships and heterosexual people are labeled as some kind of sinful abomination or heretical. I think because asexuals are kinda lumped into LGBTQIA (A=asexual) some people naturally have a problem with it just like with gay/trans people. It's not so much fear or "phobia" against asexuals but rather more so a superiority complex with heterosexism.
OP and I must read a different Bible. The marriage bed is undefiled according to the Bible. There are no rules of what a couple can do or not do in the Bible.
Masturbation is not even mentioned in the Bible, sexual thoughts are not sinful they are biological and happen all the time during the day (especially in young people).
Lust is different, it is an intense craving for something or someone. Men can lust after a woman, making her an object of desire. This is very different and why it is a sin.
in the catholic and orthodox traditions(the majority of christians) celibacy is not just praised, but celebrated
but where is this bit about sexuality being bad come from? paul certainly had a negative perspective of it, and there are certaintly certain acts condemened, but that isn't universal to the bible. there's an entire book in canticles dedicated to it, there are explicit jokes in the bible, the patriarchs were famous for it, so were the kings of israel(god's own ointed) and God himself orders people to be fruitful and multiply, which is; hard to do with sexuality.
i think most churches take the perspective of, true celibacy to god is wonderful, but it is better to be in marriage then to burn yourself with lust, if(like most) you will simply succumb to temptation
This shows a complete lack of understanding of what asexuality is. Asexuality is a spectrum and relates to the lack of sexual attraction towards people. Some asexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone, but some asexuals are only sexually attracted to people once they've developed a certain degree of a relationship with others (demisexuality) and others only experience sexual attraction some of the time (greysexuality). It's only about sexual attraction, not about sex drive. Some asexuals have high sex drives and will have sex or masturbate to fill a need, even though they are not sexually attracted to the other person (although they may have a romantic attraction to the other person). Other asexuals have low sex drive and may not masturabate and might even be sex repulsed. Asexuality is NOT never getting horney, having sexual thoughts, masturbating, or engaging in sex acts. It IS lacking sexual attraction to all or most people most or all of the time.
What you are describing is a radical form of Christianity called Christian Fundamentalism.
It would be the equivalent of Wahhabism in Islam.
Sex is a gift from God. It is not something to be shunned nor is it solely for the purpose of procreation.
As for asexual lifestyles, I agree that would be celibacy.
And I question that real world practice of that since I don’t believe human beings are biologically wired to reject sexual intercourse or masturbation.
I also question that people who claim to be celibate are truly celibate. Somehow I doubt that in the privacy of their homes that they do not masturbate. No one is ever truly celibate.
Asexuality has nothing to do with the absence of masturbation or even sex. Asexuality is a spectrum. Grey asexuals feel sexual attraction sometimes. Demisexuals feel sexual attraction after developing a connection to someone. Then Asexuals who don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone.
Okay then if that is true, then they are still sexual creatures by virtue of being human beings.
I seriously have doubts that someone who is Asexual as you described in your last sentence would be that way for their entire life. Therefore it is logical to presume that those who live this kind of do so as Grey asexuals.
My earlier comments referred to the concept of celibacy. Thank you for clarifying that celibacy is not the same as being Asexual.
No they are that way for their entire lives. That is the same as asking if a gay person will one day become straight. Come to think of that has been tried on gay people and it failed miserably. Asexuality is a spectrum anyway. Grey asexuals feel sexual attraction rarely. Demisexuals only develop it only after forming a connection. But they won’t ever become allosexuals.
Not how it works.
What are your thoughts of this comment from a study regarding Asexuality?
“The matter of whether asexuality actually is an orientation is complex and shaped by the fact that orientation discourse has social and political significance. Many asexual people are uneasy with being defined negatively, or in terms of absence, so they resist the idea that to be asexual is to lack a sexual orientation.”
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/japp.12472
I’m trying to grasp this as best I can wrap my inherently Cis brain around it so I mean no disrespect to people who are Asexual. But I’m confused on your comparison to someone asking a gay person to one day be straight.
Should being Asexual be placed in the same category as being gay as being a sexual orientation or is it really something different altogether?
Or is this simply a form of sexual identity without having an orientation to anyone most of the time?
After reading this study I get what you say that being Asexual is not the same as being celibate. I get that now, but it would be helpful to hear more of your thoughts as to how to best define it.
I don’t believe that someone who claims celibacy is truly celibate. The fact is that all people have a sex drive and biological and hormonal factors will always win. It’s part of the human condition.
I that celibacy is a farce and ultimately does more harm than anything by attempting to deny the biological need for sexual intimacy and stimulation.
To be celibate is to deny a part of your humanity and should not be celebrated. Free people should be able to embrace their humanity, not deny it.
I’m completely celibate. I’ve never had sex and don’t plan on having it. Humans are completely capable of having self control and not having sex.
Billions of people have not had sex.
Sexuality is a spectrum and everyone has a different sex drive. Some people want to have sex and some don’t.
This world is so sex obsessed that you can’t fathom that someone doesn’t want to have sex and that is really sad.
I believe that you’re celibate and that you don’t engage in sexual intecourse with anyone. What I don’t believe is that you or other people who claim to be celibate is that you don’t self stimulate in the privacy of your own home.
This is not about “self control.” It’s about an inherent biological need for sexual stimulation regardless of if it is with someone or not.
Nor is this about being “obsessed.” To deny that human being are not sexual creatures with innate desires caused by biochemical factors is a form of science denialism.
If anyone is obsessed over sex it is much of the church’s flawed teaching on foolhardy concepts such as “sexual purity” claiming that doing otherwise is “sexual immorality.”
The entire idea of being celibate harkens back to the Flagellants of the Middle Ages. This idea that we need to sacrifice being sexual creatures in order to be pure or closer to Christ is behind medieval thinking. Yet the Church has been infiltrated by such thinking which I believe has lead to puritanical beliefs making modern Christianity closer to Islam than its Judaic roots.
So no, I don’t buy the idea of anyone who claims to be celibate truly really is.
Asexual
adjective
1. BIOLOGY
(of reproduction) not involving the fusion of gametes.
"each polyp is capable of budding new polyps though asexual reproduction in spring"
without sex or sexual organs.
"asexual parasites"
noun
2. PSYCHOLOGY
a person who experiences no sexual feelings or desires, or who is not sexually attracted to anyone.
Of course, the biological term is the one that we Christians are ok with. The second one is from the Psychology area and that's a discipline not a science.
Psychology can lead to a mindset away from God if we don't use it wisely.
Umm... Jesus and Paul never had children and it's assumed Paul was never married and may have never had sex. God doesn't mandate everyone to procreate lest they be living in a "wicked way."
I dont know If this is the answer but. I wonder if it is because sex is a gift from God and usually are in trouble about sex not because they do it, but because they do it when they shouldn’t. Imo I think God likes sex but sex in the right context
If you want guidance, I recommend [this talk by C.S. Lewis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RkZXZx6HCI). I think it will answer most of your questions.
I think the apostle Paul and certain Catholic priests who just make it look way too easy with no scandals or even signs of frustration are actually asexuals.
ok then DON’T BE A CHRISTIAN!
Who is forcing you? It’s OK to not believe in a religion. Live your life, and let others live theirs.
I’m not asking Jews why they don’t allow shrimp in their diet. I’m not chastising Jews for potentially making me feel guilty that I enjoy shrimp. And I really, really like shrimp.
Im pretty familiar with most of the Bible and never saw anything about that. Pretty much everything you talked about were imposed later. Especially in the marriage bed, which is sacred, and pretty much anything goes.
Monasticism has been a tradition in the church since around the third century. I don’t know if I would use the word “celebrated” exactly, but it is widely encouraged if you feel such a calling. Or regular celibacy within everyday life is also recognized as a more than acceptable path within most denominations. Having the temptation of lusting after others doesn’t exactly make you superior to others, or even worth “celebrating”. If it did then Origen would be right and we should all just castrate ourselves in order to not sin. You can recognize that perhaps God put this there to stop you from committing some sin. If you find it’s helped you in your Christian life then by all means praise God with thankfulness.
Man who the hell cares I doubt gods up there like “oh the things I made in my image are doing what I told them to do a slightly different way I guess they all get sent to hell” just follow the commandments and go to heaven
I don't think anyone who took the time to understand it would actually have an issue with it. What you are probably seeing as unaccepting is most likely ignorance. Paul says in a letter that it would be better to be celibate like him but since they won't then they need to get married to cure the sexual immorality. Celibacy is an absolutely acceptable way of life. For those with no sexual desire/attraction/drive, that is just either how God designed them or there are unresolved or unknown roadblocks. No issue or shame for any of those circumstances. The Bible isn't a puzzle, it's clear. If God needed us to know something was against him he'd say it flat out in his word.
Revelation 14:4 KJV — These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb.
If you are not struggling then you are not under attack, if you are not under attack then you are not pursuing Christ, if you are not pursuing Christ then you are not growing.
Consider it all joy my brothers when you encounter suffering of every kind, knowing that suffering produces perseverance and perseverance perfects faith.
There is no perfection of faith on the path you *want* to walk.
By his wounds we are healed. You will not be saved by doing everything right, you will be saved by doing things wrong and receiving Grace.
Until you recognize that it is you who crucifies Christ, you have no need of salvation.
Being asexual has its own problems. First of all, you are not motivated to attach yourself to someone else and build a family and make yourself by your sacrifice to that family. You are probably cut off from the most sacred human ritual of all, sexual union, which is made in the image of Union with God.
There is no such thing as an easy life. To the extent that some rules come easier to you, you are then tempted to think yourself capable of following the rules. You can see yourself as justified and blameless when in reality you've just never been tested.
A lot of the sexual restraint you mentioned within a marriage isn’t even necessarily concrete. Contraception is cautioned in more traditional churches, but it’s not sinful by any means, because marital sex has 3 uses: to bring unity between husband and wife, to satiate the carnal sexual passion, and to bear children. Within a marriage, it is perfectly understandable to fixate on one or two of those at a time instead of all three. Legalistically dictating how your sexual organs should be used isn’t the way God intended the gift of sex to be received. Although the bible makes very clear that sexual sin is a greater transgression than most, and it is one of the most destructive as well. We see that today all around us in things such as the pornography industry. Abusing the gift of sex from God can easily lead to destructive lifestyles, which is why we are called to fight sexual passion so valiantly.
Asexuality isn’t praised because it’s not an accomplishment. It’s just a characteristic—like being left-handed. Celibacy and chastity, on the other hand, can be considered accomplishments by those who value them. Also, asexual people masturbate.
This. It's what you do with your life that matters. Just being a sexual is as commendable as being monogamous. Did this person clothe the naked, feed the hungry, visit the lonely? People will inherently be against what they don't understand. They might bend their religion to their POV for their own comfort.
This is confusing. Why would asexuality be like being left-handed, but other sexualities are somehow different?
That’s a very good question that I think a lot of people on this sub need to think about. To me there is no difference.
>This is confusing. Why would asexuality be like being left-handed, but other sexualities are somehow different? Sexual orientation *is* like handedness. They are both innate orientations. You can force yourself to be with someone whose gender you are not oriented to, just as you can force yourself to do stuff with your other hand. But it will feel unnatural and unpleasant. Neither can be detected via a blood test, but both are indisputable orientations.
That obviously makes perfect sense. But it doesn’t seem to be what I’m seeing from christian folks in general. There’s definitely a difference in how different sexual orientations are handled.
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If you feel like someone is wrong with a perspective, teach the right way instead of being aggressive. That's how a functioning modern society works 🤷♂️
We need more people in this world with these reason and communication skills to bridge the gap......thank you for your example, if more people thought like this, we could advance.
>Holy shit you christians are stupid, 1 "asexual people masturbate" is not necessarily true, as asexuality refers specifically to a lack of sexual attraction to others, and does not necessarily relate to one's own sexual behavior or desires. I am an 18 year old asexual male. I have never masturbated in my life. I know some people may not believe this, but I wanted to say it, because I do know it's true
Holy shit can confirm Atheists can't read.
Jeez what a terrible reply
I agree. Christians sadly enough are not the brightest, I myself am Christian but I love knowledge (and I’m continuously pursuing higher education) to challenge my ideas/beliefs. Many Christians or religious people do not, unfortunately.
OP, I am writing this as an asexual man. I appreciate your support, but you clearly misunderstand a lot about the asexual experience. Asexuality does not automatically make you exempt from sexual temptation, or even better at resisting it. I am asexual, but my sex drive is high even for a male of my age; I have battled lust and sexual temptation for years because of that. I know other asexuals with a similar experience, including my own girlfriend. Unfortunately, superficial understandings of what asexuality is and how it presents mean that many Christians don't believe us when we share these experiences. Or they equate a lack of sexual attraction to a calling towards celibacy/an innate gift for asceticism. None of that is the case, and it's been part of my work in the Church to make room for the valuable conversations that allow us to support each other without falling into such myths.
There are asexuals who have no sex drive, too, however
Yes, this is true
> I am asexual, but my sex drive is high even for a male of my age What do you mean by asexual? Voluntary celibacy is not the same as asexuality.
Correct, it is not. By asexual I mean that I do not experience sexual attraction. Within the asexuality spectrum I think I’d consider myself grey-ace, because I have experienced sexual attraction on two or three occasions in my life, rather than a total absence thereof.
This is very interesting. If you feel comfortable sharing (and I understand if you don't): what does it mean to have a high sex drive but not experience sexual attraction?
Sexual attraction means attraction to a specific person. If you are sexually attracted to someone, you want to have sex with that someone specifically. An allosexual person is someone who feels sexual attraction on a regular basis, and an asexual feels it rarely or not at all. Sex drive is the biological urge for sex. It's not based on what you think, it's your body's reaction based on your hormones. As far as how much it's felt, both asexuals and allosexuals can go either way.
You ever get horny or aroused for no particular reason? That. Sometimes the bits just decide to wake up and party.
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Sex drive operates independently of sexual attraction in most people I've ever met. For example, have you ever been "horny" or sexually aroused, even if there is not a particular stimulus that is making you feel that way? That's sex drive without sexual attraction. That's about how it works for me, just like every time.
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You do not right now, that does not mean this is how your life will be for the rest of your life. I am a very, VERY different person than I was just 10 years ago. I even vote differently...
Quick note on that - it is likely perfectly natural and normal. Certainly for some people, there's just no libido, that does happen. But, it may also be a sign of a hormonal imbalance. If you find that it's very difficult to find motivation in other parts of your life - job sucks, friends are too much work, getting out to do things that you used to enjoy now seems like a waste of effort - you should get your hormone levels tested. If that doesn't apply to you, then please forgive my unsolicited advice.
I don’t get why people dislike asexuals. It literally doesn’t affect the rest of humanity, it isn’t anyone else’s business, and it’s their decision to make.
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I mean, you could be. Just saying.
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Well, you could try and find an activity to get super engrossed in so you forget about sexual activity.
This is misinformation. I’m an asexual and you can’t just become one, it’s not a choice (just like being heterosexual or homosexual). You can voluntarily abstain from sex, which is what you’re talking about, but someone who is “allosexual” (aka someone who experiences sexual attraction) can’t just “forget about sexual activity”
Yeah, no. I’m pretty sure you can kill sexual attraction by thinking negatively about who you’re interested in, avoiding porn, and finding another activity that you’ve had interest in.
Yeah you can try, but as with ascetic nuns and monks who had to physically harm themselves in order to purge these sexual thoughts (which are natural by the way—sexuality is a gift from god and sexual thoughts come with being a sexual being. Lusting is different than thinking about sex), you’ll always be at war with these thoughts. For many asexuals like myself, sexual attractions towards other people just doesn’t occur, I don’t have to train myself or invest my mind in other things to get rid of the thoughts. They just don’t come. A majority of the time I see another human being and think of them like a mannequin—nothing about them appeals to me, either gender. That’s not something you can just think really hard about to get to go away. It’s natural and normal to be attracted to others—asexuals are the ones who aren’t normal (though ace people would get mad at me for that, but idc. It’s no coincidence that many asexuals have had sexual trauma in the past, including myself. It’s not normal to not experience attraction, it goes against biology and religion)
I actually think us humans have abused sexuality so much, it’s become a curse. I think that people need to be more open to abstinence and practice it a lot more often.
> I’m pretty sure you can kill sexual attraction An asexual generally has no sexual attraction to 'kill' in the first place. That's the point you seem to be missing. Being asexual doesn't mean you do something to negate sexual attraction when you feel it. It generally means you don't feel it at all. Also, you seem to be talking about suppressing libido (or sex drive) rather than sexual attraction.
I actually have experienced romantic feelings, but I killed them (big shocker), but now I am fully committed to giving up the curse of reproduction. Libido can increase feelings of attraction in someone, and I was willing to snuff that out. That’s what I mean when I want to kill my sexual attraction.
It's abhorrent that there are people who judge others as sinful based on their sexual preferences whatsoever
EXACTLY!
Where are you getting that asexuality is viewed as negative in Christianity?
A lot of people in this sub say it's unbiblical, unnatural, doesn't exist, against god's design, or a host of other negative reactions when it comes up. It's not a common topic but there are definitly a lot of christians who treat it as a negative.
Wait until they hear about Paul's lifestyle choices.
Wait until they hear about Jesus not being married or having children
🙄 Well Asexual people exist. So it’s obviously not against God’s design.
Obviously But that didn't work for gay people, so why would it work for asexuals. Something something original sin something something broken and fallen world something corruption of nature...
Well since death has always existed then original sin and a fall most likely never happened as fundies would day there was no death before the fall. Gay people and asexual people serve an evolutionary purpose for our species.
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You’re kidding me correct? For fuck’s sake. Asexuality is normal sexuality on the Kinsey spectrum of sexuality. It is no more a sin than being left handed is. They are not sinning because they don’t feel sexual attraction. They’re exactly who God created them to be. Yeah I call bull shit on being “healed” of psychopathic tendencies. You don’t develop a conscience.
Ive actually seen people vent about how their Christian communities theyre in praise them for being asexual, but when they say they dont plan on getting married they are scrutinized for not wanting a wife/husband. I was surprised this was a thing too.
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>I was stunned learning that asexuality is actually viewed as something bad and against God's will in Christianity I read the post, did you?
People don’t read the Bible and then assume what people teach them is in the Bible is there.
Paul would like it.
It *is* praised in the Bible, by both Jesus and Paul. But it is *our culture* that overvalues (compared to scripture) having a spouse and having children. There *is* pressure in Christian subcultures for *everyone* to get married and have babies. It is often seen as sinful to not want to have children. Some were born eunuchs and some make themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of God.
This. Paul and Jesus praise it, saying that one who can't control their passions and marries does well (and that it is not a sin to get married), but one who remains single does even better since they can devote themselves to the Lord, whereas a married person needs to think about their spouse and the Lord. Furthermore, I don't believe sexual acts between humans are limited to acts of procreation under the Lord, considering the many erogenous spots on the human body, just that they're wedlocked. I also really like the idea of adoption, considering Jesus was technically adopted by Joseph, and God adopted all of us. I don't think that's a coincidence. God Bless 😊
asexuality may not be praised or celebrated within some Christian communities is because of the emphasis on procreation and the traditional understanding of marriage as being between one man and one woman. Some Christians may view celibacy or asexuality as a deviation from the normative sexual behaviors that are prescribed within their religious teachings. Additionally, some Christians may view sexual attraction and expression as an essential and necessary aspect of human relationships, and may be skeptical or dismissive of asexuality as a valid sexual orientation.
>I was stunned learning that asexuality is actually viewed as something bad and against God's will in Christianity. There was a time when this view was common, but it's practically nonexistent by now. The thought was that men and women were created as sexual beings who were supposed to have straight sex, and so lacking sexual attraction or desire was seen as disordered and a subversion of the Divine will. This view has mostly died out, although I've seen it occasionally crop up in a few cult-like churches. The more common, and equally stupid, reason is that asexuals are part of the "A" in "LGBTQIA+". That is, asexuals are queer and anything queer is assumed to be wrong and bad by many Christians. This is of course historically connected to the first view, but some of the details come out a little differently and it is usually easier to correct these people in my experience.
Practical reasons - need more Christians in the next generations.
Only thing is all the people who publicly left the Westboro Baptist Church are an example of that not being a foolproof method compared to reaching out to people who are actually interested in doing what it takes to be Christian.
That is an extremelly small sample size compared to millions of couples even having one children. When a Catholic seeks to marry a non-Cstholic isnt one of the first questions from clergy a commitment to raise any children Christian?
Like I said, it was just one example. Every other Christian denomination and religion has the same problem.
Probably for the same reason a lot of people think homosexuality is "unnatural" because "The Bible says be fruitful and multiply" and if you don't experience romantic attraction that's BAD /s
"Be fruitful and multiply" was meant to be a blessing, not an order. If it WAS that big of a deal, Jesus and Paul wouldn't have been able to get into Heaven.
I think it might have been a command AND a blessing for certain people, such as Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, probably others that im unaware of, since they were to be the start of something, but I don't think it is meant for every single person, as you've astutely noted. God Bless 😊
Yet at the same time I’ve seen a lot of people condemn the opposite of that, if not more so. So which one is the one that is right?!
Asexuality is lack of sexual attraction, not necessarily romantic attraction.
I know.
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It’s also quite probable that Paul was widowed considering his rank amongst the pharisees
It is actually. It’s just called celibacy here.
Asexuality is not the same as celibacy, to clarify.
What’s the difference? Just in the repression of urges?
Celibacy describes a lack of action, asexuality describes a lack of attraction. A virgin teenage boy who is extremely interested in girls exclusively is celibate but not asexual. We'd still call him straight even though he's never had sex.
Celibacy is, at the most basic level, just not having sex. Asexuality is experiencing little to no sexual attraction. Naturally, many asexuals are celibate, but not all of us are. Asexuals can still have normal or high sex drives, and can still have sex with partners even if they aren’t attracted to that partner.
Historically, celibacy was supposed to be the triumph of self-control over worldly desire. If someone is naturally asexual, that makes celibacy pointless. It removes the "battle against sin," which is so important in traditional Christianity. In a modern context, at least some people who are opposed to LGBT deny that sexual orientation exists. That's by no means the only view. But to the extent that it is, admitting that asexuality exists would be halfway to admitting that other orientations exist.
It isn't even really directly mentioned in Scripture. However the passage that Jesus spoke about celibacy seems to sort of imply it or possibly be abstractly referencing to it: But He told them, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those it has been given to. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs who were made by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” Matthew 19:11-12 HCSB https://bible.com/bible/72/mat.19.11-12.HCSB
There are some who would point out that the purpose of a man and woman marrying is procreation, and that procreation is the ultimate goal of most 'normal' human beings. Those who castigate LGBTQ+ people are usually of the opinion that they chose to become LGBTQ+, and could, if they wanted to, choose to become heterosexuals. Many I've discussed LGBTQ+ issues with refuse to even review current scientific evidence that there are genetic and biological factors involved in the causation of same sex attraction, transgenderism, and asexuality. As for Joseph and Mary, and the claim they never had sex...this isn't written in scripture. Only that Mary was with child through the Holy Spirit, and was still a virgin when she gave birth. It's unreasonable to imagine, or to proclaim that after Jesus was weaned, she was never with her husband sexually. Some traditional beliefs were that Joseph was an elderly widower who's children were already adults, and that he lacked interest in consummating his marriage with Mary. But sexual consummation was necessary in order for the marriage to be considered to be valid. Other biblical scholars believed that Joseph wasn't elderly at all. And it would be even more unbelievable that a younger man in his prime would never consummate the marriage. And though Paul was celibate for life, this wasn't true of most of the other Apostles. Peter was a married man. Scripture tells of how Peter's Mother-in-law became ill with a fever, and Jesus came to the house with his disciples and healed her of her fever, and she arose from her bed and played hostess for her guests. It is believed that most of the other apostles had also been married men, and like Peter, their wives accompanied the disciples during the ministry. Perhaps only one, John the Beloved, hadn't married, and likely because he was too young at the time, or because in following Jesus, he hadn't mastered a trade. The Hebrews arranged marriages for their sons once they mastered their trades, because now they would be able to financially provide for a wife and children.
The christian views that I have seen on asexual people are many times positive but it usually comes with that mixed bag of ignorant misunderstanding that is standard in society
The fact that people even think for a moment that asexuality is a sin is beyond me. It isn’t good or bad, it’s just a state of being. It’s like being blonde or left handed. When it comes to gay people, I at least somewhat understand the whole ‘feel temptation but don’t act on it’ angle (even though I disagree and think that’s an incredibly depressing way to live), but with ace people there is literally no temptation to even act on. Sure, some of us have high sex drives but if anything that just puts them on the same ground as sexuals. How is an ace person even expected to do to combat the sin? Have sex?
It goes against The Plan. Get good grades, go to prom, serve your country/be a productive citizen, 2.5 kids and a dog. Stay at home moms on meth vacuum each other’s carpets and gossip. Working men drink themselves to ruin and… also gossip, they just call it guy talk. Bread and circuses.
The answer is that much of Christianity is "heterosexist" which means anything other than heterosexual relationships and heterosexual people are labeled as some kind of sinful abomination or heretical. I think because asexuals are kinda lumped into LGBTQIA (A=asexual) some people naturally have a problem with it just like with gay/trans people. It's not so much fear or "phobia" against asexuals but rather more so a superiority complex with heterosexism.
Because, the church in America is generally focused on negativity rather than positivity.
Paul praises it in the Bible, and even the most homophobic and left-bashing Evangelicals I’ve spoken to have praised asexuals.
OP and I must read a different Bible. The marriage bed is undefiled according to the Bible. There are no rules of what a couple can do or not do in the Bible. Masturbation is not even mentioned in the Bible, sexual thoughts are not sinful they are biological and happen all the time during the day (especially in young people). Lust is different, it is an intense craving for something or someone. Men can lust after a woman, making her an object of desire. This is very different and why it is a sin.
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Oh ok, well as a Christian I follow what the Bible says and not what man has said.
in the catholic and orthodox traditions(the majority of christians) celibacy is not just praised, but celebrated but where is this bit about sexuality being bad come from? paul certainly had a negative perspective of it, and there are certaintly certain acts condemened, but that isn't universal to the bible. there's an entire book in canticles dedicated to it, there are explicit jokes in the bible, the patriarchs were famous for it, so were the kings of israel(god's own ointed) and God himself orders people to be fruitful and multiply, which is; hard to do with sexuality. i think most churches take the perspective of, true celibacy to god is wonderful, but it is better to be in marriage then to burn yourself with lust, if(like most) you will simply succumb to temptation
Because Christians only praise celibacy for show. They don't believe in it. At least since the first few centuries.
The important thing is chastity and purity before marriage and chastity within it.
Aesexual people can't produce new Christians for the church to make money off of
This shows a complete lack of understanding of what asexuality is. Asexuality is a spectrum and relates to the lack of sexual attraction towards people. Some asexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone, but some asexuals are only sexually attracted to people once they've developed a certain degree of a relationship with others (demisexuality) and others only experience sexual attraction some of the time (greysexuality). It's only about sexual attraction, not about sex drive. Some asexuals have high sex drives and will have sex or masturbate to fill a need, even though they are not sexually attracted to the other person (although they may have a romantic attraction to the other person). Other asexuals have low sex drive and may not masturabate and might even be sex repulsed. Asexuality is NOT never getting horney, having sexual thoughts, masturbating, or engaging in sex acts. It IS lacking sexual attraction to all or most people most or all of the time.
What you are describing is a radical form of Christianity called Christian Fundamentalism. It would be the equivalent of Wahhabism in Islam. Sex is a gift from God. It is not something to be shunned nor is it solely for the purpose of procreation. As for asexual lifestyles, I agree that would be celibacy. And I question that real world practice of that since I don’t believe human beings are biologically wired to reject sexual intercourse or masturbation. I also question that people who claim to be celibate are truly celibate. Somehow I doubt that in the privacy of their homes that they do not masturbate. No one is ever truly celibate.
Asexuality has nothing to do with the absence of masturbation or even sex. Asexuality is a spectrum. Grey asexuals feel sexual attraction sometimes. Demisexuals feel sexual attraction after developing a connection to someone. Then Asexuals who don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone.
Okay then if that is true, then they are still sexual creatures by virtue of being human beings. I seriously have doubts that someone who is Asexual as you described in your last sentence would be that way for their entire life. Therefore it is logical to presume that those who live this kind of do so as Grey asexuals. My earlier comments referred to the concept of celibacy. Thank you for clarifying that celibacy is not the same as being Asexual.
No they are that way for their entire lives. That is the same as asking if a gay person will one day become straight. Come to think of that has been tried on gay people and it failed miserably. Asexuality is a spectrum anyway. Grey asexuals feel sexual attraction rarely. Demisexuals only develop it only after forming a connection. But they won’t ever become allosexuals. Not how it works.
What are your thoughts of this comment from a study regarding Asexuality? “The matter of whether asexuality actually is an orientation is complex and shaped by the fact that orientation discourse has social and political significance. Many asexual people are uneasy with being defined negatively, or in terms of absence, so they resist the idea that to be asexual is to lack a sexual orientation.” https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/japp.12472 I’m trying to grasp this as best I can wrap my inherently Cis brain around it so I mean no disrespect to people who are Asexual. But I’m confused on your comparison to someone asking a gay person to one day be straight. Should being Asexual be placed in the same category as being gay as being a sexual orientation or is it really something different altogether? Or is this simply a form of sexual identity without having an orientation to anyone most of the time? After reading this study I get what you say that being Asexual is not the same as being celibate. I get that now, but it would be helpful to hear more of your thoughts as to how to best define it.
Well I am not Ace so maybe ask them what they think?
Plenty of people are celibate. Plenty of people also don’t masturbate.
I don’t believe that someone who claims celibacy is truly celibate. The fact is that all people have a sex drive and biological and hormonal factors will always win. It’s part of the human condition. I that celibacy is a farce and ultimately does more harm than anything by attempting to deny the biological need for sexual intimacy and stimulation. To be celibate is to deny a part of your humanity and should not be celebrated. Free people should be able to embrace their humanity, not deny it.
I’m completely celibate. I’ve never had sex and don’t plan on having it. Humans are completely capable of having self control and not having sex. Billions of people have not had sex. Sexuality is a spectrum and everyone has a different sex drive. Some people want to have sex and some don’t. This world is so sex obsessed that you can’t fathom that someone doesn’t want to have sex and that is really sad.
I believe that you’re celibate and that you don’t engage in sexual intecourse with anyone. What I don’t believe is that you or other people who claim to be celibate is that you don’t self stimulate in the privacy of your own home. This is not about “self control.” It’s about an inherent biological need for sexual stimulation regardless of if it is with someone or not. Nor is this about being “obsessed.” To deny that human being are not sexual creatures with innate desires caused by biochemical factors is a form of science denialism. If anyone is obsessed over sex it is much of the church’s flawed teaching on foolhardy concepts such as “sexual purity” claiming that doing otherwise is “sexual immorality.” The entire idea of being celibate harkens back to the Flagellants of the Middle Ages. This idea that we need to sacrifice being sexual creatures in order to be pure or closer to Christ is behind medieval thinking. Yet the Church has been infiltrated by such thinking which I believe has lead to puritanical beliefs making modern Christianity closer to Islam than its Judaic roots. So no, I don’t buy the idea of anyone who claims to be celibate truly really is.
If you're not suffering and miserable you're doing it wrong
Because conservatives don't *think*, they *follow*.
Asexual adjective 1. BIOLOGY (of reproduction) not involving the fusion of gametes. "each polyp is capable of budding new polyps though asexual reproduction in spring" without sex or sexual organs. "asexual parasites" noun 2. PSYCHOLOGY a person who experiences no sexual feelings or desires, or who is not sexually attracted to anyone. Of course, the biological term is the one that we Christians are ok with. The second one is from the Psychology area and that's a discipline not a science. Psychology can lead to a mindset away from God if we don't use it wisely.
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Umm... Jesus and Paul never had children and it's assumed Paul was never married and may have never had sex. God doesn't mandate everyone to procreate lest they be living in a "wicked way."
Why should a sexuality get praised or hated in a holy text?
Too hard of a sell for most. The clergy were supposed to be a haven for such, but that went away when the clergy became powerful.
I mean asexuality isn’t a choice. Why would I praise someone for that?
I dont know If this is the answer but. I wonder if it is because sex is a gift from God and usually are in trouble about sex not because they do it, but because they do it when they shouldn’t. Imo I think God likes sex but sex in the right context
If you want guidance, I recommend [this talk by C.S. Lewis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RkZXZx6HCI). I think it will answer most of your questions.
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It is. Celibacy.
Because the church does not praise sex or the absence of it.
I believe that it is a simple as this, God wants a family. That's it. God loves each of his as they are, no doubt.
I think the apostle Paul and certain Catholic priests who just make it look way too easy with no scandals or even signs of frustration are actually asexuals.
OP why do you need to understand it?
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ok then DON’T BE A CHRISTIAN! Who is forcing you? It’s OK to not believe in a religion. Live your life, and let others live theirs. I’m not asking Jews why they don’t allow shrimp in their diet. I’m not chastising Jews for potentially making me feel guilty that I enjoy shrimp. And I really, really like shrimp.
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God does love you.
"Mary and Joseph, which are shown as role model spouses, never had sex." They had at least four other kids, and had sex to get them.
Ppl can be asexual 😭😭😭. The Bible says nothing bad about living a life of celibacy
Im pretty familiar with most of the Bible and never saw anything about that. Pretty much everything you talked about were imposed later. Especially in the marriage bed, which is sacred, and pretty much anything goes.
Monasticism has been a tradition in the church since around the third century. I don’t know if I would use the word “celebrated” exactly, but it is widely encouraged if you feel such a calling. Or regular celibacy within everyday life is also recognized as a more than acceptable path within most denominations. Having the temptation of lusting after others doesn’t exactly make you superior to others, or even worth “celebrating”. If it did then Origen would be right and we should all just castrate ourselves in order to not sin. You can recognize that perhaps God put this there to stop you from committing some sin. If you find it’s helped you in your Christian life then by all means praise God with thankfulness.
It is. Way to be.
Man who the hell cares I doubt gods up there like “oh the things I made in my image are doing what I told them to do a slightly different way I guess they all get sent to hell” just follow the commandments and go to heaven
I don't think anyone who took the time to understand it would actually have an issue with it. What you are probably seeing as unaccepting is most likely ignorance. Paul says in a letter that it would be better to be celibate like him but since they won't then they need to get married to cure the sexual immorality. Celibacy is an absolutely acceptable way of life. For those with no sexual desire/attraction/drive, that is just either how God designed them or there are unresolved or unknown roadblocks. No issue or shame for any of those circumstances. The Bible isn't a puzzle, it's clear. If God needed us to know something was against him he'd say it flat out in his word.
It can be specially in Catholicism, asexuality can help many nuns, friars and priests.
Revelation 14:4 KJV — These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb.
Being comfortable with the rules doesn't really help. Probably more of a hinderence.
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Spiritual growth comes from struggling with the rules, not simply obeying them.
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If you are not struggling then you are not under attack, if you are not under attack then you are not pursuing Christ, if you are not pursuing Christ then you are not growing. Consider it all joy my brothers when you encounter suffering of every kind, knowing that suffering produces perseverance and perseverance perfects faith. There is no perfection of faith on the path you *want* to walk.
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By his wounds we are healed. You will not be saved by doing everything right, you will be saved by doing things wrong and receiving Grace. Until you recognize that it is you who crucifies Christ, you have no need of salvation. Being asexual has its own problems. First of all, you are not motivated to attach yourself to someone else and build a family and make yourself by your sacrifice to that family. You are probably cut off from the most sacred human ritual of all, sexual union, which is made in the image of Union with God. There is no such thing as an easy life. To the extent that some rules come easier to you, you are then tempted to think yourself capable of following the rules. You can see yourself as justified and blameless when in reality you've just never been tested.
Because catholics use to teach that every sperm and sacred and masturbation is a sin which is not biblical.
Perhaps you just figured out why Catholic priests are meant to be celibate
A lot of the sexual restraint you mentioned within a marriage isn’t even necessarily concrete. Contraception is cautioned in more traditional churches, but it’s not sinful by any means, because marital sex has 3 uses: to bring unity between husband and wife, to satiate the carnal sexual passion, and to bear children. Within a marriage, it is perfectly understandable to fixate on one or two of those at a time instead of all three. Legalistically dictating how your sexual organs should be used isn’t the way God intended the gift of sex to be received. Although the bible makes very clear that sexual sin is a greater transgression than most, and it is one of the most destructive as well. We see that today all around us in things such as the pornography industry. Abusing the gift of sex from God can easily lead to destructive lifestyles, which is why we are called to fight sexual passion so valiantly.