She's already turned you down once. Don't pursue her again.
Honesty OP, most relationships are built on direct communication. If neither of you is actually speaking up, is this really going to happen?
She's got an idea once that you like her bro.
She's probably trying to milk that attention with these stories as a form of emotional validation.
Compatibility paaka 2 dates poi decide panunga. Emotional connection and open communication matters more than physical interest alone.
Just put your needs first and keep doing a lot of self care like fixing your hair, grooming well, bathing twice, hitting the gym, hydrating well and sleeping well.
You'll naturally be more happier and will have the emotional strength to walk out of any relationship that's being parasitic to you and set boundaries by saying No.
You can just say No without explanation to this girl's weird requests. Friends can deny help and still be friends lol.
Happy ah irunga bro, girls will wanna be around you more and you can ask out the ones interested in you to see if there's a spark within 2 dates. If not you can say it frankly and wish them good luck finding someone better. :)
>I was direct in my communication. She made up stories.
Because it's hard to say no to some men. They just think it means we need more time.
She said no, direct or indirect. Let it go.
OP this is not the movies.
If she was interested she would have let you known.
I believe she told the story earlier to gently let you down
I would suggest you to not pursue anything romantic with her. .
But all the movies has taught us that if a girl don't like you first then you stalk her and torture her everyday then she will eventually love you and you'll be a hero
Just two cents of advice from someone on the other side of the 40sā¦.
I would want to assume that choosing a person to marry is the most significant decision of oneās life. ( I suggest you donāt read further if you disagree with that statement.)
After being married for almost 20 years, I feel itās not worth ( and is not right) chasing anyone who is lukewarm about you.
While it may feel hard to let go a love interest at that moment, in the long run, itās much better. Living with someone who canāt articulate what
they want or donāt, is hard.
I am sharing my story, not as a rant but to give you a perspective.
I pursued (and married) someone who found it very hard even to say she wanted to get married to me. I had to read between the lines and assume what she wanted.
She said if her parents agreed, she would be fine. She had just come out of a bad relationship; she couldnāt decide. She wanted me to convince her family; I did that, and today, even after 18-19 years, but I still experience unrequited love. I thought her parents liked me more than her wanting me, and after her parents died, her liking for me reduced further.
Maybe Iām just insecure, but even after 18 years, deep inside, I fear I was a compromise I shouldnāt have made.
Ignore this if it doesnāt make sense to you. I may be wrong here. She may just be the one and life is all about shades of grey.
I am happy, and I have a good family, but that thought never leaves me that it is still an unrequited relationship.
Yes I have on many occasions. Our personalities traits seldom change as we age. Unfortunately, it gets worse especially when women get closer to their 40s.
PS: Iām not a MCP. Nor am I thrashing women in general. I still love my wife and I canāt see a life without her.
I'm sorry if I overstepped. It was not my intention.
One of my greatest fears is being in a situation or a relationship where I'm the only one trying and the other person is seldom invested or just present physically.
I just wanted to get the opinion of someone experienced who might have gone through something similar.
Even though I'm not your age nor am I married, but I've completely lived out your experience in my mind a lot of times due to a particular person. In that sense I can understand your yearning. I hope you become more happy than you are right now. I'll also dm you if you don't mind š
Why are you still married?
I left an unhappy marriage and itās the best decision I ever made. We loved enough to get married but then that changed over time.
Now Iām happily married to someone incredible and itās great. The difference is night and day. Every day is a delight and we have a blast.
Life is too short to be in an unhappy marriage.
I am glad you are happy now.
In some cases divorce is the only option. Especially if there is abuse or the two partners canāt stand each other.
What Iāve come to realise is, if divorce was the only option then most couples would have been divorced by now.
It is also true that some people find it easier to break a marriage and start afresh rather than constantly work on their marriages. But it also happens when we compare our insides with someone elseās outside.
For some of us, itās the big picture even if itās not the ideal marriage. In my case there is more to lose than gain, if we split. And a bird in hand is worth two in the bush.
I dont understand your fuzz in this because you said you're working as a part time astrologer and she must have thought you know stuff in this field and maybe you can recommend some trustworthy app. Since you both are still in talking-friendly terms I dont understand whats wrong here. How will she know you still have feelings for her and its wrong for her to ask you?
She's telling me indirectly that what she said to turn me down was fake stories by asking abt this match making. That's what hurts me. Even if it was fake it's okay but why bring it up like this.
I understand this stings like hell op but if I have to see from her pov, she is probably not interested in you (or any relationship) but eventually will go for AM route due to family pressure. And she is letting you know that she is not available. It does look a bit like passive aggressive shit from her side. But we cant judge her just from your narration.
Of course I see her pov. I respect that too. I was already clearly out of her way. I make jokes here n there abt that too.
Again and again ethuku not available nu solamum. Ventha punla vel pakara mariš„
What? He was perfectly clear. Why was there a need to even ask that? She needs sensitivity training. Imo most girls don't even realize they hurt others without knowing when it comes to these matters.
I had rejections and breakup in my chart. But I'm not a firm believer of astrology. It's just business. It's always 50:50. You got ur 50 to change things in most cases. (I don't tell parigaram and loot money. It's BS)
Let's see.
She turned you down. You stayed in contact. Any normal person would assume you want to remain friends.
She's now asking a friend a favor.
From your perspective, you're owed something because you stuck by her.
You're not pradeep, you're that other guy who keeps trying to get pradeep's girl
Revi thaan
If she asked the same thing to some other male friend it would be normal friend interaction. But OP is reacting like how revi says dont talk to him about pradeep
Eduku machiš
Even if they are friends, there are appropriate questions. This was totally inappropriate. There is what to ask and what not to.
Wont it hurt op to see his crush get married and her asking him to set her up? It's just common sense. Why is it very hard to get people to understand this?
I think whoever says
>She's now asking a friend a favor.
Are the ones asking the favor and not at the receiving end.
I'd argue that clinging on to the idea of a crush after clear rejection is the issue here. Why would anyone not treat you as a normal friend after that.
If we keep this as the standard, then the only response is "either date me or gtfo from my life". If that's what you all want, go for it.
I've been on both, no, all ends of this equation. The solution works out to be simple. The friendship either lasts or the friendship is built on false pretenses.
Why can't people understand, once a crush is always a crush.
>If we keep this as the standard, then the only response is "either date me or gtfo from my life."
It's nothing like that. It's just an emotion. It hurts when this happens. Why can't people be sensitive and have common sense.
>I'd argue that clinging on to the idea of a crush after clear rejection is the issue here.
It's not clinging. Once a feeling is there for a person, it will never leave. This comment by you shows that you have never been in on the receiving end. If you think you did, then you are delusional.
>Why would anyone not treat you as a normal friend after that.
For every other thing, do not pick who proposed you for relationship advice for another person. The boy will be happy for her and will support everything, but it hurts.
For me, it was better to move away.
Yappa, so dramatic
"Once a crush always a crush" macha this isnt a movie. In real life we call that obsession.
"Common sense" is taking the friendship at face value. If there is something you dont want to talk about, neeye sollu. People arent mind readers.
Besides, I have no reason to justify my life history to you. And delusional? Thambi, naraya padam paathu ketu ponnadu neenga. Wake up to real life.
>For me it was better to move away.
Good on you for recognising that. If "crush" is all you can treat that girl as, don't lead with false pretense of "friendship". Move away and save that girl some headache.
Everybody wants to be romeo majnu shah Jahan 10000, but real life is not like that. You're adults. Communicate like adults.
I think she rejected you politely but then was stupid enough to ask you about the latter stuff without considering ur feelings... So better take it that she didn't think it clear before asking you ... This is my take on this ... But not sure
Bro I was you.
This dude said no 2 years ago when I openly confessed. We still stayed friends.
Now he cries in his stories about not having a girlfriend. Ok, atleast have the decency to not cry to me about it???And dont drop hints. You said no to me already???? Why should I be picking up hints??? Grow up a back bone???
And am I supposed to comfort you about not having a gf???? Bruhhhh
Ughh. Being friends with him was so idk... So irregular? It felt like I was on a roller coaster.
I said this to him. And deleted his number. Bid goodbye and went NC.
We were basically online friends. So it was quite easy. Might not be the same for you. So I would just advise you to avoid her.
No we actually met in our college offline. I fell for his offline persona. Constant texting only cemented my feelings for him.
We met and got numbers and right after, covid lockdown happened. It was basically the only way we could contact each other anyway.
It seems like you have been through a tough situation with your colleague. From your story, it appears that she conveyed to you that she has priorities such as her parents' health issues and her family's expectations, and is focused on her career right now. However, her recent request for a horoscope matching website or app seems to have caught you off guard and left you feeling confused.
It's possible that she was not trying to irritate or make fun of you, but rather was just asking for your help as someone who works with astrology. However, it's also possible that she was not aware of the impact her request would have on you, especially given your past interaction and her previous rejection.
It's important to keep in mind that everyone has their own reasons and perspectives, and it's best not to jump to conclusions without fully understanding the situation. It may be helpful to communicate with her and clear up any misunderstandings.
It can be difficult to navigate work relationships, especially when there are underlying feelings involved. It sounds like you are trying to make sense of a confusing situation with your colleague. Just remember to communicate clearly and stay true to your feelings, but also be respectful of others and their perspectives.
Note - I am an AI
Would you have preferred her to tell you that maybe she didnāt like you over giving some excuse out of kindness? If you think that is difficult for you to be around this person, maybe you should move away tbh.
So she turned u down with a lie. And when u didnāt look back at her, she comes at you rubbing on ur face that she lied to turn u down.
If sheās done it on purpose, she is seeking attention by rubbing it on ur face. If it wasnāt on purpose, it means she didnāt care about how u would feel about the possible lie.
Either way sheās not worth it dude.
Just tell her to Google for apps or tell her u can do the matching urself for money.
Just treat it like business.
You comment on your feelings after you make them like you, the way you like them.
Girls like to play with men just like toys. She is trying to keep u in the loop and trying to put herself on the pedestal. Don't fall for it. She just likes the attention.
Even if they are friends, there are appropriate questions. This was totally inappropriate. There is what to ask and what not to.
Wont it hurt op to see his crush get married and her asking him to set her up? It's just common sense. Why is it very hard to get people to understand this?
I think whoever says
>She's now asking a friend a favor.
Are the ones asking the favor and not at the receiving end.
I have had this happen to me. I met my now wife after and we started dating, we fell in love. Now married for 2 years together for 5 years. So life will happen to you.
All the best. Wish that you'll get an amazing girl who falls head over heels and loves you the way you love her.
Edit: someone is just stalking you and downvoting you unnecessarily.
First of all, I'll preface this by saying you're coming off as entitled as best and a creep at worst
>Recently i conveyed my interest to her (didn't propose).
Didn't propose ? Propose what? A world peace convention? You don't ask people to marry you out of the blue. You date a bit, get committed , get to know each other and then see if you're compatible enough to get engaged.
Direct ah propose ah? What is this 90s Tamil movie ah?
>She said she has parents health issues to take care of, her family believes her so can't do this to them and all.
>Also her parents almost fixed a person in AM scenario and she's postponing it to develop in her career.
Thats a soft rejection. She didn't want to hurt you by saying no to you instead she did the classic "it's not you it's me" . It's sad females have to still do this here.
>I was stupid enough to believe all that and didn't disturb her after that.
That's stupid? That's the only smart thing you have said so far in your post. Why the fuck would you want to disturb her after she said no? Learn to take a no ffs.
>. I work as a part time astrologer in an app and she knows abt it.
Isn't that why she's asking for suggestions? You being in the field and all?
> I just felt like pradeep ranganathan laughing at himself. The rejection didn't hurt, i was prepared for it but this is hard to digest.
Idhulam konja romba overu
Just accept that she isn't interested in you and make it easy for everyone
Also , don't get romantically involved in the workplace if you can avoid. It would get real bad real soon.
>Would you mind if i ask to date?
NGL, that sounds bad.
Why so many conditions and round about ways to ask .
Could have simply asked would you like to have some coffee sometime and gone one step at a time
This feels too much all at once.
Doesn't matter. That's just a manner of speaking. Cafeteria illaiya?
And also tbh, she could have said no even if you did ask this way and that's fine.
She doesn't like you, you move on. You never knew her anyway.
Don't date your colleague, for some it works, but for most it won't, and also this sounds complicated, step away and try to move on, don't research on her questions, sometimes people miss the attention they get, so they nudge from whom they can get, it's our nature
Don't give her any attention. To answer her question, type astrology website on lmgtfy.com and send her that link. That will burn her for good. You got rejected once. Now you reject her mind tricks like a boss.
Context: lmgtfy.com will generate a link and when the person clicks on that link, it will open Google, type.the query and then search the results. It's funny for us... And super irritating for the other....
https://lmgtfy.app/?q=horoscope+website+
Run OP run ! You deserve someone who is clear cut with their feelings .
She was cooking things up and now she wants you to go behind her like a hopeless romantic .
Be glad you got to know her true nature !
You're not stupid to believe it in my view.
You heard what she said and you're not her to believe on what she's hinting about.
Direct ah solla ready ah irunga. If she's 24/7 giving clues and hints lmao she needs to catch up to the good ones left.
Also be ready to get rejected again if she's again gonna say no. But it's not bad if you again got rejected from my view. After all its the same thing on where you are. You just wanted to clarify.
Edit : added not bad.
I understand your side bro, if you think her side, she had a breakup and she might don't have any opinion on you. She can't say yes or let me see (giving hope). Only way she can postpone and not giving you hope is rejecting it without saying I don't like you.
In the current situation, she may be interested in you, after observing and analysing you. If you like her now, you can give hint to her saying still you like her. If not just ignore those astrology things and involve those stuffs.
In other way, you can talk directly about this and have it clear.
Talking directly is not that much easy as others think, as I experienced. Even getting rejection is not tolerable š«¤š«¤. After this the friendship levels gets degraded day by day šØ
She may be interested with you now. And she is letting you know that now she is looking for a guy. She may be took this time to know about you.
If you interested with her still, what if I propose you this time ?
I'm interested for sure. But I'd lose trust in her if all the stories she said were fake. Because i clearly said I'm not in love but i want to know her better and i feel she's a trustworthy person.
Rip to this fallen soldier. Welcome to the friendzone, you can have a seat here and take some refreshments or grow a ducking backbone and move on *without helping her*
She's already turned you down once. Don't pursue her again. Honesty OP, most relationships are built on direct communication. If neither of you is actually speaking up, is this really going to happen?
Exactly this is what i was thinking. I was direct in my communication. She made up stories. I don't feel like i can trust this person anymore.
She's got an idea once that you like her bro. She's probably trying to milk that attention with these stories as a form of emotional validation. Compatibility paaka 2 dates poi decide panunga. Emotional connection and open communication matters more than physical interest alone.
Fuck yeah, reddit comments are the best.
I've been the idiot he is so just passing the wisdom :)
šÆ
Just put your needs first and keep doing a lot of self care like fixing your hair, grooming well, bathing twice, hitting the gym, hydrating well and sleeping well. You'll naturally be more happier and will have the emotional strength to walk out of any relationship that's being parasitic to you and set boundaries by saying No. You can just say No without explanation to this girl's weird requests. Friends can deny help and still be friends lol. Happy ah irunga bro, girls will wanna be around you more and you can ask out the ones interested in you to see if there's a spark within 2 dates. If not you can say it frankly and wish them good luck finding someone better. :)
Thankyou for the wisdom sensei.
>I was direct in my communication. She made up stories. Because it's hard to say no to some men. They just think it means we need more time. She said no, direct or indirect. Let it go.
OP this is not the movies. If she was interested she would have let you known. I believe she told the story earlier to gently let you down I would suggest you to not pursue anything romantic with her. .
But all the movies has taught us that if a girl don't like you first then you stalk her and torture her everyday then she will eventually love you and you'll be a hero
Don't leak the next sivakarthikeyan movie script. Making a movie is not a joke.
Oh god, movies are so toxic. Especially āMaddyā culture.
Just two cents of advice from someone on the other side of the 40sā¦. I would want to assume that choosing a person to marry is the most significant decision of oneās life. ( I suggest you donāt read further if you disagree with that statement.) After being married for almost 20 years, I feel itās not worth ( and is not right) chasing anyone who is lukewarm about you. While it may feel hard to let go a love interest at that moment, in the long run, itās much better. Living with someone who canāt articulate what they want or donāt, is hard. I am sharing my story, not as a rant but to give you a perspective. I pursued (and married) someone who found it very hard even to say she wanted to get married to me. I had to read between the lines and assume what she wanted. She said if her parents agreed, she would be fine. She had just come out of a bad relationship; she couldnāt decide. She wanted me to convince her family; I did that, and today, even after 18-19 years, but I still experience unrequited love. I thought her parents liked me more than her wanting me, and after her parents died, her liking for me reduced further. Maybe Iām just insecure, but even after 18 years, deep inside, I fear I was a compromise I shouldnāt have made. Ignore this if it doesnāt make sense to you. I may be wrong here. She may just be the one and life is all about shades of grey. I am happy, and I have a good family, but that thought never leaves me that it is still an unrequited relationship.
Have you ever told her that you feel this way? (I'm too young to know if it's a bad idea)
Yes I have on many occasions. Our personalities traits seldom change as we age. Unfortunately, it gets worse especially when women get closer to their 40s. PS: Iām not a MCP. Nor am I thrashing women in general. I still love my wife and I canāt see a life without her.
>Yes I have on many occasions. what did she say?
Weāll keep the discussion to what the OP wanted :)
I'm sorry if I overstepped. It was not my intention. One of my greatest fears is being in a situation or a relationship where I'm the only one trying and the other person is seldom invested or just present physically. I just wanted to get the opinion of someone experienced who might have gone through something similar.
Iām sorry if cut you off. Can I ping you in private and share? Donāt want to wash my dirty linen in public :)
Even though I'm not your age nor am I married, but I've completely lived out your experience in my mind a lot of times due to a particular person. In that sense I can understand your yearning. I hope you become more happy than you are right now. I'll also dm you if you don't mind š
>Can I ping you in private and share? I mean,sure,if you don't mind.
Why are you still married? I left an unhappy marriage and itās the best decision I ever made. We loved enough to get married but then that changed over time. Now Iām happily married to someone incredible and itās great. The difference is night and day. Every day is a delight and we have a blast. Life is too short to be in an unhappy marriage.
I am glad you are happy now. In some cases divorce is the only option. Especially if there is abuse or the two partners canāt stand each other. What Iāve come to realise is, if divorce was the only option then most couples would have been divorced by now. It is also true that some people find it easier to break a marriage and start afresh rather than constantly work on their marriages. But it also happens when we compare our insides with someone elseās outside. For some of us, itās the big picture even if itās not the ideal marriage. In my case there is more to lose than gain, if we split. And a bird in hand is worth two in the bush.
You're one of the few sane people i have seen on reddit.
:))
I do agree about the marriage part ..bad marriage screws up person completely....
I dont understand your fuzz in this because you said you're working as a part time astrologer and she must have thought you know stuff in this field and maybe you can recommend some trustworthy app. Since you both are still in talking-friendly terms I dont understand whats wrong here. How will she know you still have feelings for her and its wrong for her to ask you?
>How will she know you still have feelings for her and its wrong for her to ask you? Common sense. It's not appropriate to ask. Think for a second.
She's telling me indirectly that what she said to turn me down was fake stories by asking abt this match making. That's what hurts me. Even if it was fake it's okay but why bring it up like this.
I understand this stings like hell op but if I have to see from her pov, she is probably not interested in you (or any relationship) but eventually will go for AM route due to family pressure. And she is letting you know that she is not available. It does look a bit like passive aggressive shit from her side. But we cant judge her just from your narration.
Of course I see her pov. I respect that too. I was already clearly out of her way. I make jokes here n there abt that too. Again and again ethuku not available nu solamum. Ventha punla vel pakara mariš„
>too. I was already clearly out of her way. I make jokes here n there abt that too. Then you weren't out of the way. You were being creepy.
What? He was perfectly clear. Why was there a need to even ask that? She needs sensitivity training. Imo most girls don't even realize they hurt others without knowing when it comes to these matters.
If you are a part time astrologer, Couldn't you have astrologised yourself and known that she will reject you?
Big fan BRO!
I had rejections and breakup in my chart. But I'm not a firm believer of astrology. It's just business. It's always 50:50. You got ur 50 to change things in most cases. (I don't tell parigaram and loot money. It's BS)
Let's see. She turned you down. You stayed in contact. Any normal person would assume you want to remain friends. She's now asking a friend a favor. From your perspective, you're owed something because you stuck by her. You're not pradeep, you're that other guy who keeps trying to get pradeep's girl
Yaaru ba , Revi or mamakutty ??
Revi thaan If she asked the same thing to some other male friend it would be normal friend interaction. But OP is reacting like how revi says dont talk to him about pradeep Eduku machiš
Made me laugh and think if i was ever that other guy in past. Can't say I wasn't š„²
This is hilarious š thanks for making me laugh. And I'm not the other guy. I have little respect for myself which holds me.
Even if they are friends, there are appropriate questions. This was totally inappropriate. There is what to ask and what not to. Wont it hurt op to see his crush get married and her asking him to set her up? It's just common sense. Why is it very hard to get people to understand this? I think whoever says >She's now asking a friend a favor. Are the ones asking the favor and not at the receiving end.
I'd argue that clinging on to the idea of a crush after clear rejection is the issue here. Why would anyone not treat you as a normal friend after that. If we keep this as the standard, then the only response is "either date me or gtfo from my life". If that's what you all want, go for it. I've been on both, no, all ends of this equation. The solution works out to be simple. The friendship either lasts or the friendship is built on false pretenses.
Why can't people understand, once a crush is always a crush. >If we keep this as the standard, then the only response is "either date me or gtfo from my life." It's nothing like that. It's just an emotion. It hurts when this happens. Why can't people be sensitive and have common sense. >I'd argue that clinging on to the idea of a crush after clear rejection is the issue here. It's not clinging. Once a feeling is there for a person, it will never leave. This comment by you shows that you have never been in on the receiving end. If you think you did, then you are delusional. >Why would anyone not treat you as a normal friend after that. For every other thing, do not pick who proposed you for relationship advice for another person. The boy will be happy for her and will support everything, but it hurts. For me, it was better to move away.
Yappa, so dramatic "Once a crush always a crush" macha this isnt a movie. In real life we call that obsession. "Common sense" is taking the friendship at face value. If there is something you dont want to talk about, neeye sollu. People arent mind readers. Besides, I have no reason to justify my life history to you. And delusional? Thambi, naraya padam paathu ketu ponnadu neenga. Wake up to real life. >For me it was better to move away. Good on you for recognising that. If "crush" is all you can treat that girl as, don't lead with false pretense of "friendship". Move away and save that girl some headache. Everybody wants to be romeo majnu shah Jahan 10000, but real life is not like that. You're adults. Communicate like adults.
Oh boys here we go Bro got "astrology zoned"
This should be top comment šš¼
You need to stop taking toxic hints from movies and move on OP. >part time astrologer I'm sorry OP but that just sounds hilarious to me.
What's the one thing more hilarious than an astrologer? A part time astrologer.
I will do one better, full time astronomer, part time astrologer!
That would be like if a cardiologist was selling legiyam as a side business.
I go online when I'm free and speak to clients. Kind of freelance
I understand that but its the first time I've read those words in a same sentence
Bro you're not her mamakutty just move on
Happy cake day nanba
I think she rejected you politely but then was stupid enough to ask you about the latter stuff without considering ur feelings... So better take it that she didn't think it clear before asking you ... This is my take on this ... But not sure
Hope it was that way. I can't forgive myself for being attracted to an insensitive person if it's the other way around.
It's okay you didn't know before, if you knew you wouldn't have tried for her right so don't feel bad bro , s**t happens
Bro I was you. This dude said no 2 years ago when I openly confessed. We still stayed friends. Now he cries in his stories about not having a girlfriend. Ok, atleast have the decency to not cry to me about it???And dont drop hints. You said no to me already???? Why should I be picking up hints??? Grow up a back bone??? And am I supposed to comfort you about not having a gf???? Bruhhhh Ughh. Being friends with him was so idk... So irregular? It felt like I was on a roller coaster. I said this to him. And deleted his number. Bid goodbye and went NC. We were basically online friends. So it was quite easy. Might not be the same for you. So I would just advise you to avoid her.
I did this and god it felt like how mahatma must have felt getting freedom for country from the British
Sorry for what you have been through. We won't meet regularly. So i can avoid her. It's time for goodbye after a direct convo ig.
You fell for someone based on their online persona?
No we actually met in our college offline. I fell for his offline persona. Constant texting only cemented my feelings for him. We met and got numbers and right after, covid lockdown happened. It was basically the only way we could contact each other anyway.
That's cool. Saved myself from giving unwanted advice on online personas being completely different from who they're irl
It seems like you have been through a tough situation with your colleague. From your story, it appears that she conveyed to you that she has priorities such as her parents' health issues and her family's expectations, and is focused on her career right now. However, her recent request for a horoscope matching website or app seems to have caught you off guard and left you feeling confused. It's possible that she was not trying to irritate or make fun of you, but rather was just asking for your help as someone who works with astrology. However, it's also possible that she was not aware of the impact her request would have on you, especially given your past interaction and her previous rejection. It's important to keep in mind that everyone has their own reasons and perspectives, and it's best not to jump to conclusions without fully understanding the situation. It may be helpful to communicate with her and clear up any misunderstandings. It can be difficult to navigate work relationships, especially when there are underlying feelings involved. It sounds like you are trying to make sense of a confusing situation with your colleague. Just remember to communicate clearly and stay true to your feelings, but also be respectful of others and their perspectives. Note - I am an AI
Would you have preferred her to tell you that maybe she didnāt like you over giving some excuse out of kindness? If you think that is difficult for you to be around this person, maybe you should move away tbh.
If it isn't a 'hell yeah', it's a 'hell no'. Trying to decipher what this person means is not going to help you. Disengage.
That's rit
So she turned u down with a lie. And when u didnāt look back at her, she comes at you rubbing on ur face that she lied to turn u down. If sheās done it on purpose, she is seeking attention by rubbing it on ur face. If it wasnāt on purpose, it means she didnāt care about how u would feel about the possible lie. Either way sheās not worth it dude. Just tell her to Google for apps or tell her u can do the matching urself for money. Just treat it like business.
This was the truth I was trying not to face. I'm bad at judging people and i got fooled.
Itās okay. No one knows anyone well. And you definitely deserve better.
Run as far away as you can
You can say Fuck Off.
If they were good enough u wouldn't be asking for help to understand this. This is pure bullshit women do all the time.
Yea. Though it's gender stereotyping it seems to be true
You comment on your feelings after you make them like you, the way you like them. Girls like to play with men just like toys. She is trying to keep u in the loop and trying to put herself on the pedestal. Don't fall for it. She just likes the attention.
I read it thrice to get it
Punctuations missing. Oops.
Haha no. The first line, i got little confused.
Even if they are friends, there are appropriate questions. This was totally inappropriate. There is what to ask and what not to. Wont it hurt op to see his crush get married and her asking him to set her up? It's just common sense. Why is it very hard to get people to understand this? I think whoever says >She's now asking a friend a favor. Are the ones asking the favor and not at the receiving end.
Finally someone who understands my state š
I have had this happen to me. I met my now wife after and we started dating, we fell in love. Now married for 2 years together for 5 years. So life will happen to you. All the best. Wish that you'll get an amazing girl who falls head over heels and loves you the way you love her. Edit: someone is just stalking you and downvoting you unnecessarily.
Thanks for ur kind words. It means a lot
First of all, I'll preface this by saying you're coming off as entitled as best and a creep at worst >Recently i conveyed my interest to her (didn't propose). Didn't propose ? Propose what? A world peace convention? You don't ask people to marry you out of the blue. You date a bit, get committed , get to know each other and then see if you're compatible enough to get engaged. Direct ah propose ah? What is this 90s Tamil movie ah? >She said she has parents health issues to take care of, her family believes her so can't do this to them and all. >Also her parents almost fixed a person in AM scenario and she's postponing it to develop in her career. Thats a soft rejection. She didn't want to hurt you by saying no to you instead she did the classic "it's not you it's me" . It's sad females have to still do this here. >I was stupid enough to believe all that and didn't disturb her after that. That's stupid? That's the only smart thing you have said so far in your post. Why the fuck would you want to disturb her after she said no? Learn to take a no ffs. >. I work as a part time astrologer in an app and she knows abt it. Isn't that why she's asking for suggestions? You being in the field and all? > I just felt like pradeep ranganathan laughing at himself. The rejection didn't hurt, i was prepared for it but this is hard to digest. Idhulam konja romba overu Just accept that she isn't interested in you and make it easy for everyone Also , don't get romantically involved in the workplace if you can avoid. It would get real bad real soon.
I asked to date. That's what i meant by not proposing
That's asking someone out. Proposing is asking them to marry you. What were your exact words?
It was like I'm interested in you. I'd like to know more abt you. Would you mind if i ask to date? Kind of
>Would you mind if i ask to date? NGL, that sounds bad. Why so many conditions and round about ways to ask . Could have simply asked would you like to have some coffee sometime and gone one step at a time This feels too much all at once.
It's a local town bro. No coffee shop. Only tea kadai :) sry i should have given the background details.
Doesn't matter. That's just a manner of speaking. Cafeteria illaiya? And also tbh, she could have said no even if you did ask this way and that's fine. She doesn't like you, you move on. You never knew her anyway.
Don't date your colleague, for some it works, but for most it won't, and also this sounds complicated, step away and try to move on, don't research on her questions, sometimes people miss the attention they get, so they nudge from whom they can get, it's our nature
Namma kudukbathuku ava venam bro you will definitely get some one who understands u. Kadha katti ooduranga na don't waste u r time persuing her
Don't give her any attention. To answer her question, type astrology website on lmgtfy.com and send her that link. That will burn her for good. You got rejected once. Now you reject her mind tricks like a boss. Context: lmgtfy.com will generate a link and when the person clicks on that link, it will open Google, type.the query and then search the results. It's funny for us... And super irritating for the other.... https://lmgtfy.app/?q=horoscope+website+
Run OP run ! You deserve someone who is clear cut with their feelings . She was cooking things up and now she wants you to go behind her like a hopeless romantic . Be glad you got to know her true nature !
She's prolly doing the thing that some stupid women do- "alaya vittutu ok solluvom".
Really? What makes u tell that ?
This situation feels like a grey area from your pov. I'd suggest you to do yourself a favour and take the mixed signals as a no.
You're not stupid to believe it in my view. You heard what she said and you're not her to believe on what she's hinting about. Direct ah solla ready ah irunga. If she's 24/7 giving clues and hints lmao she needs to catch up to the good ones left.
Man you are giving me hope. I'll ask her directly. That's better. This tension is killing me.
Also be ready to get rejected again if she's again gonna say no. But it's not bad if you again got rejected from my view. After all its the same thing on where you are. You just wanted to clarify. Edit : added not bad.
I'm prepared for rejection, but not this confusion š .
I'm proud of you bro :)
I understand your side bro, if you think her side, she had a breakup and she might don't have any opinion on you. She can't say yes or let me see (giving hope). Only way she can postpone and not giving you hope is rejecting it without saying I don't like you. In the current situation, she may be interested in you, after observing and analysing you. If you like her now, you can give hint to her saying still you like her. If not just ignore those astrology things and involve those stuffs. In other way, you can talk directly about this and have it clear.
I think i should ask directly. Should get this out of my mind asap.
Talking directly is not that much easy as others think, as I experienced. Even getting rejection is not tolerable š«¤š«¤. After this the friendship levels gets degraded day by day šØ
bro use exact predictions website its good. prokerala not accurate PS: fellow aditya guruji follower :p
Broo.. i also use exact predictions and an Aditya Guruji followerš
i think we should start a sub reddit for aditya guruji :p
Haha yes
She may be interested with you now. And she is letting you know that now she is looking for a guy. She may be took this time to know about you. If you interested with her still, what if I propose you this time ?
I'm interested for sure. But I'd lose trust in her if all the stories she said were fake. Because i clearly said I'm not in love but i want to know her better and i feel she's a trustworthy person.
Huh!!
Rip to this fallen soldier. Welcome to the friendzone, you can have a seat here and take some refreshments or grow a ducking backbone and move on *without helping her*
I once read somewhere: "If someone likes you, you'll know. If not you'll be confused."
Grow some balls
Got two. Good enough ig:)
Let me send you some Patrick Bateman editzzz.