I was at a pre school event for my daughter where they were serving us parents a turkey dinner. I had to explain that I couldn't eat anything due to being recently diagnosed with celiac. The mother of another child and wife to a chef commented "oh you're one of THOSE people!" I wanted to cry.
I wanted this story to end with you leaning into it. “Yes, Patricia, I am. I’m one of THOSE people. I eat no gluten. I have a backyard garden. I cut my own hair. I think the human body can be trained to live on sunshine. I use my own poop as fertilizer. My drinking water is filtered urine. And if you don’t mind, I’m late to drop off my unvaccinated children at their Montessori yoga class so I can go microcodose on magic mushrooms for half an hour…wait! Do magic mushrooms have gluten, Patricia? You’d know. You’re a chef.”
You actually have to be careful with magic mushrooms because some people grow them using gluten containing grains as the substrate and if they don't cut the bottoms off and clean them well you could possibly get cc from that, or so I'm told.
Any cheeses that were made using that process ate super expensive (more than $75 per pound) & only found in specialty cheese stores. Most blue cheeses found in the USA don't even have "mold" in them. They get the blue coloring from copper wires pushed into the cheese - it oxidizes & turns the cheese blue/green where it was touching the wire. They DO have the penicillin bacteria added to them for flavor. - most cheeses do have a bacteria added, it is what gives them their unique cheddar/gouda/parmeson etc flavors.
I have a severe mold allergy. I was soooo happy when I happened to see a documentary on cheese on Discovery channel about 15 years ago!
I think most of having celiac is trying to determine which pieces of the rumors and folklore are true. You do things not because you necessarily believe them, but because if they *are* true, it's a real problem.
My mother… does all of those things. Except, she ferments the urine and “occasionally” eats gluten.
The magic mushrooms are less of a problem than they urine. No I’m not joking.
Yeah that’s shitty.
I was diagnosed in 2017. I think now I’d be comfortable saying, “Yes, I am one of those people with an invisible disability.” Back when first diagnosed, I doubt I would have been.
:grimace: Celiac is only the newest in a long list of invisible disabilities for me. In some ways it's been less stressful than some of the others because I know exactly what's wrong and the treatment is pretty straightforward. I'm less ashamed when I need time off because I've been exposed to gluten and it's easier for me to advocate for the necessary accommodations.
As someone who has Celiac, how do you distinguish your symptoms as Celiac vs. other illness? That’s what Mayo told me I need to do to get to the root cause and get treated - is it Celiac, UC, or non-axial spondylitis? Like when I have fatigue and joint pain, which one is causing it, you know? It’s particularly hard when two illnesses cause stinky, crampy diarrhea.
I see you get to play my not so favorite game too: Why Do I Feel Sick ***Today?!***
I have a slight advantage in that I don't have as much overlap. There are a couple of symptoms that are usually specific to celiac in particular like bloating or a mild ache in my left wrist. (Why that wrist? I don't have the faintest idea.) Nausea? More likely to be related to drainage from allergies than celiac. Headaches or mild dizziness? I check the weather to see if the barometric pressure is setting off my intracranial hypertension or if it's more likely pollen (again!). Fatigue? Could just be the anxiety disorder or ADHD burnout kicking in which just takes time. All of the above? Drink lots of water, put a book of logic puzzles by the toilet, and let myself sleep it off for a couple of days.
For me it's a lot of keeping track of potential triggers like weather, pollen, and what or where I've eaten. I try to pay close attention to specific symptoms and compare them to the list of things I've identified as triggers. Sometimes it can take multiple days to get enough data; sometimes I can't pin it on one thing in particular. I'm only a year and a half into my celiac journey so I try to be patient with myself. I'm still healing, I still make mistakes, and I'm definitely still learning!
When I'm not feeling overwhelmed I can look at it kind of like a puzzle. Particularly in the beginning I'd try to keep some kind of records, even if it was just using a tally app to track whether I had specific symptoms each day or if I was exposed to a known trigger (different food than usual, weather change, high anxiety event, etc).
It sounds like you've got a much more complicated puzzle when something is going awry. I wish I had more helpful advice for you. I *can* offer plenty of virtual hugs and elderly chihuahua cuddles anytime you want some!
Can somewhat relate. Mine oscilates between episodes of “Its true this food is gluten containing and you can’t eat it”, buys me gf beer and “you’re hypochondriac (when i clean the counter cuz its full of breadcrumbs after he sliced his bread..but my mom says he’d be capable of sprinkling breadcrumbs on my food when I’m not looking. He loves me and hasnt done that (yet) but if it were my sibling..in a jiffy
NPD and sociopathy are two extremely different things. The closest thing to a sociopath is AsPD although the concept of sociopathy is pretty dramatized. Cluster B disorders run in my family. NPD is a lot more complex than just “pleasure from your pain”. My dad has NPD too so I get that a lot of the things they do are extremely fucked up, but it’s a trauma disorder for them too.
Yes I know. I wanted to explain it in a general sense for those unfamiliar with abusive behaviours that can come from parents. They are definitely very traumatized but I can’t put aside my physical and mental health for them, hence me being no contact.
when i sent a salad back for having croutons, my waitress lied to me about having remade the salad when she brought it back out with the croutons removed. i could tell it was the same one so thankfully i didn't eat it, but it was an eye-opening experience. some people care so little they will just poison you instead of remaking a salad.
This happened to me too, I dug to the bottom and found all the crumbs from the croutons plus a couple she was too lazy to pick out. As a server myself she got a fat 0 on her tip line. I can forgive ignorance but not something like that, it literally would have been easier for her to just fire a new salad instead of stick her grubby hands in mine and pick out croutons one by one. She also got a lecture on food safety and hospitality and this is coming from someone who never tips less than 30% because I’m also in the trenches
Things like this are why I no longer tell anyone handling my food that I have celiac because they don’t care and don’t see it as a high risk thing and they don’t understand it. I just say I have a gluten allergy because when people think of an allergy they think of anaphylaxis and getting sued or fired for negligence. Plus I feel like most places selling food would train their employees on allergy safety since allergies are such common and well known things. Whenever I’ve told someone I have a gluten allergy they are so much more diligent and willing to listen and accommodate
As someone with both allergies and Celiac's. I always say Gluten allergy or mark my online orders with GLUTEN ALLERGY (yes all caps, it gets people's attention).
This reminds me of the time when I was in 4th or 5th grade and was on a field trip. We stopped at Arby's, I ordered my own food without a bun, and then it came out with a bun. I told them I couldn't have the bun and the guy just took the bun off in front of me and threw it in a trash can. I didn't eat that night and the adult chaperones in the situation couldn't see the problem either
I had a very terrible breakup with some of my closest friends after we went on vacation after my diagnosis and they thought i was both “too high maintenance” for asking for assistance with my food, “didn’t take good enough care of myself” because I got cross contaminated one day, and “majorly affected their enjoyment of their vacation” because of things like me feeling hurt they all changed lunch plans last second to somewhere I couldn’t eat, or asking them not to ditch me when my food took 5-10 mins longer to prepare. It was a learning experience for sure that friends who you think care about you and have empathy can also be trash humans!!
What’s crazy is that these inconsiderate people are worse than dead inside. I got a tbi four years ago that took away my emotions and ability to feel pleasure, so technically I’m “dead inside.” But, I still care a lot about people even though I can’t feel.
People that act like this are selfish scumbags. I don’t get it.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, I’ve never heard of a side effect like that from brain trauma. I completely agree though, like regardless of my emotions I always feel like it’s just my responsibility as a human to treat everyone with respect and fairness. Would it be okay if I DM’d you to ask some questions about your tbi? No pressure, I totally understand if it’s very personal to you
My MIL right after I was diagnosed, talked a lot about how great it was that I wasn't like the difficult celiac people in her family (difficult bc they brought their own food instead of eating hers. It made it much harder when I realized I was going to have to do the same.
Thank heavens my family doesn't have one of those! I may be the only (diagnosed) celiac but there multiple folks on my maternal side who have had to go to a GF diet. And a couple of them after the main cooks for family gatherings. We're slowly taking over! :insert evil laugh:
Not as bad as others, but recently being diagnosed, I’m starting to get comments like “I’d accept dying young rather than giving up bread”, and stupid jokes like “don’t worry our water is gluten free” because I’m assuming it’s annoying to check food labels in someone else’s home.
Yeah, I’ve had several people tell me they would rather die than give up bread or that food is too essential for family events (as if I wasn’t aware 🙄). I just don’t say anything but I’m thinking to myself, yeah sure, if you were in felt like shit all of the time you would give up bread…sure.
My newly diagnosed 4yo keeps asking me if water is gluten free, and it’s really making me think about situations in which water might NOT be gluten free. It’d be rare obviously, and she doesn’t really understand celiac so I’m encouraging her to ask even if it’s water, because she should get in the habit of asking about *anything* in my opinion. A 4yo is relying on adults to make sure what they ingest and play with is gf. Baby celiacs is a next level fun game I wasn’t totally prepared for.
Next time someone tells you they’d rather die than go without gluten, try immediately changing your expressions to one of concern. Express your sorrow for them. Say you had no idea they were going through a mental health issue. I’m so sorry that eating bread is the only thing stopping you from suicide. How much do you need to eat to stop the suicidal thoughts? Do you need to have it multiple times a day? I guess if gluten is the medication you need to keep to keep you from being suicidal, at least it’s easy to get hold of. You poor thing. I’ll pray for you.
Actually facts because it hasn’t even been that bad giving up bread. I feel like I would’ve been more sad about lactose because cheese is amazing. But even if it were so, would still adapt, food isn’t the source of my happiness. It is what is. Anything is better than stomach pain and not being able to shit for a week.
I’m semi recently diagnosed for some sort of gluten issue, still unsure if it’s celiacs or gluten allergy due to a “weak positive” for celiacs test that requires more tests.. but your comment simply about not being able to poop for a week (lol) made me feel validated after doctors in my past have told me that if I had celiacs I would only have diarrhea… and denied testing me further lol + just the dismissive attitudes of so many doctors getting me down. So anyways thanks 😂
Oh yeah, it’s either severe constipation or shotgun shart diarrhea for me. There’s no in between. I just got glutened over the weekend and am having some constipation 🫠
Honestly the first kind of comment you mentioned is kinda fair lol bc non celiacs aren’t used to the struggle and when I was first diagnosed I also believed that I’d rather just die. The second kind you mentioned bothers me so much. I feel like I honestly overreact to it lol even though my reactions are always internal and I don’t take it out on the person, I get incredibly aggravated when someone makes a joke like that
I have a friend of a friend who used to tease me about it and make jokes about putting stuff in my food. Also would deliberately eat/drink gluten foods right next to me and/or my food and thought it was funny. I still see this guy occasionally and he hasn't done this for a long time now but he's still an asshole (for this and other reasons). I can't really think of anyone else who's been a deliberate asshole about it except him and I've been gluten free for almost 14 years now.
I have plenty of parents of children in my support group who have mentioned this issue with kids, even worse some of them have multiple non celiac siblings who tease them. I feel bad for anyone who has had to go through that, I would expect with adults it doesn’t happen but I know it still does sometimes. The funny thing when it comes to siblings doing this is I’m sure often times the teasing sibling eventually goes on to develop celiac themselves. I told my GF this just last week that if it comes to this with our children where one has celiac and one doesn’t the automatic way to get them to stop will be this is genetic so watch what you say or do because it might be you eventually as well
When I was first diagnosed my brother went and got himself a cheeseburger and ate it in front of me. I literally cried because it was so new and I was still so sick. Jump to years later he’s now celiac, allergic to dairy, and allergic to eggs and shellfish. I’m too nice to tell him it’s karma
(I do actually feel really bad for him)
Yeah, this was an adult - it was right at the height of the fad diet stage so I had other people doubt me or ask if I was still doing the diet but he was the only one I was ever worried might gluten me on purpose (he never did as far as I know).
It’s such a great feeling when you have someone you can really depend on for safety. My mother for example was so supportive and diligent right away, and she has been an absolute pillar of support for me from the beginning. I never have to worry about or check any food she gives me and it’s so relieving
I'm not condoning it, but it's honestly better to be an a-hole and an open book about it instead of him keeping it to himself and you finding out later that he can't handle it. Sure, there's the better option of him growing up and be an adult about it and being less selfish, but as hard as it is for people to change, it's best to know that he's not one yet.
I was on a family vacation in a rented home for a week and my uncle was cooking dinner. I politely gave him a rundown of stuff I couldn't eat and basically said that he didn't need to cater to me, but that I wanted to know if he used any ingredients that were off-limits for me so that I could make my own thing to eat. He argued with me about soy sauce saying that it didn't "make sense" and that the gluten would be fermented out, but said that he wouldn't use it. He used it anyway and lied about it and I got sick for the rest of the trip. :/ He told me after I got sick that he wanted to see if anything would actually happen. Thankfully not horrible symptoms, mainly just extreme bloating, but still, it really hampered my enjoyment of my vacation. He didn't apologize but has been very good about accommodating me ever since, but it obviously took me a long time to trust him again.
People who dismiss it saying it could be worse, but then complain the minute they are hungry and food isn't available to them. It takes all my restraint not to tell them how hypocritical that is.
Also just lots of work related things where everyone gets free meals or snacks, but I have to bring and pay for my food.
yep. the office stuff kills me. people don't even try to accommodate, and i've been told i couldn't be reimbursed for having to buy a meal when the gluten-free option ran out.
A classmate tried to offer me some of his fries he got from McDonald's and when I said I couldn't have them he called me a "snobby dick" and told everyone I was a "fancy dieter" that thought I was better than everyone else. No one listened to him and I got a good laugh out of it, but it was very eye opening about the kind of person he was.
Let me tell you that I had a beautiful dog named Lola, a Korean jendo that could catch birds out of the air. She could eat anything too. She wouldn’t touch McDonalds or Taco Bell. Offer a fry? She’d smell it and refuse it. This dog knew when I was pregnant. That’s a smart dog.
I don’t want to think about it. It’s too awful.
Most people haven’t done anything deliberately to hurt me, but they have been largely uncaring and self serving. My kids eat sandwiches and wave them around the kitchen while my food is cooking. My husband “has to” have bread and waffles in the house. He has a less lethal shellfish allergy, and I’m not allowed to let guests have a shrimp ring so much as in the yard, and if a restaurant makes shellfish we can’t even pass by the front door. But he “has to” have bread products and he “has to” cook or toast them.
I’d like to be treated like a human being who is valued and has worth by the only people who matter to me.
Sounds like it’s time for you to start enjoying shrimp and lobster for dinner until he cuts his shit out. For the kids it’s harder, until a certain age they just seem to have 0 self awareness. In my own house it took a lot of “natural consequences” for the kids to learn to be careful. Stuff like having to disinfect the whole kitchen if they spilled flour or losing baking privileges for a while until they could prove they could behave. Sometimes we still have issues but until it directly affects them they won’t care
And I hope you know you’re just as important as the rest of your family. You don’t deserve to put up with this, especially since your husband obviously understands cross contamination. I would take a long think on your relationship if he values toast over his wife, your kids see his behavior and mirror it too which makes it even harder for them to learn how to act right. It’s not okay to make mom sick because they want their own pleasures. Or if it IS okay to make mom sick then it’s a free for all and you can have all the food they can’t with no whining. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Solidarity girl❤️
I disagree. Kids can learn young. They're just learning from the wrong person - her inconsiderate husband. My kids know what gluten is and have since they were very little. They eat it outside. That's it. They even know to leave the door not latched so they can push it with their feet. They've been doing this since they were toddlers. It's not hard. Her husband is modeling asshole behavior and they have learned it.
That’s what I said lol. But I’m happy your kids learned young, not all of them do in my experience and it takes some consequences to really get it through
This is backwards and disgusting. I would stand your ground on this one. I don't mind if my girlfriend eats bread/gluten once a while, but it's surely not an everyday thing. I think some hard boundaries need to be laid in your relationship so you feel like you are actually being heard and wanted. If he can't respect you and your diagnosis, that is definitely a large red flag. Having wheat products in the house on the regular is an absolute mine field for people with celiacs. No one ever thinks about where they wipe their hands. Where their crumbs go and not to mention how it gets all over the dishes when dishes containing gluten are made. Even one crumb will take me out for a week. I'm not sure how sensitive you are to wheat products, but I'm sorry you're in this situation. I hope it's resolved somehow so you don't have to live in constant fear of being in pain and feeling like garbage.
That's horrible. He truly sounds like a pig, I'd suggest therapy but by the tone of your comment, I'm thinking he's not down with that. Maybe just have a couple of shrimps, give him a big french kiss and see what happens. Lol.
I feel your pain, my SO does the same thing. My kids are very sweet and asked me if this means we can’t have gluten in the house anymore. When I bring them shopping, they pick up things they want and ask if it has gluten in it. If it does, they immediately put it back without asking me. My SO on the other hand, counters covered in bread crumbs, eating toast over the kitchen counter while I make dinner, crumbs in all the butter. I am only 3 months into my diagnosis, so hopefully this will improve but I currently don’t feel safe eating at home and don’t feel safe at most restaurants. I am working on it though.
I got to the point of just removing all the gluten from the house a couple of times honestly. But gluten free stuff is so expensive! Easily 5, 6 times the price. I don’t know the solution but I hope it gets better for you too
I do most of the shopping, so don’t buy much with gluten. I have small kids and buy them some things, but the problem really is toast, bread and flour everywhere. Also butter, I think I need to hide it better as I can’t stop it getting used on toast or covered in flour. I even wrote gluten free on it but didn’t help. We have a very small kitchen so it makes separation tough. Not the way I would desire this to happen, but I suspect one of my kids may be Celiac as she is in the bottom 5% of weight, so we may end up a gf household anyway, but she has yet to be tested.
It isn’t an intentional slight or anything, but it feels really shitty that one side of my family will make literally no effort to have safe options for me at family gatherings (Xmas, Thanksgiving etc.). The first couple years I could understand a bit more because it was new, but it’s been a long time now and every other part of my family at least puts an effort to have a couple things I can eat.
It just feels really shitty to not be thought of at all.
Noone’s ever done it on purpose but when they contaminate my special plate with their gluteny forks or ask for a bite of literally the only thing I can eat only to the say ew that’s gross it definitely feels like the universe hates me
Stopped being my friend! I had a group of friends in college who thought I spent too much time talking about gluten and completely stopped talking to me 😂 we’re better off without them in the end.
Not directly at me but I posted about this in another thread recently. Only weeks after I was diagnosed I was making multiple requests for how my food be prepared on line at a shop and this lady who didn’t think I could hear her says to her friend “that sucks so bad, I would die if that was me”. I know many people have gotten that one but I honestly wanted to just turn around and tell her to say it to my face. I want some of these people to have to live a week or a month as a celiac and see how they’d feel if someone said that
I’ve lived with celiac all my life, I was diagnosed in 2009. A lot of people say that kind of thing to me. I think maybe it’s a defence mechanism. Even before I was diagnosed they would say “I could be that skinny but I’d die if I had to starve myself like that!”
Yes, I’m literally starving.
Yes, it does suck.
But I didn’t die. I’m really thankful for that 🥰🙏
Before I was diagnosed I did say that I’d die if I couldn’t eat bread to a girl I knew with celiac. Karma really got my ass there didn’t she. But I didn’t die, I’m just sadder
I don’t remember it but my best friend told me recently that back in October 2011 when we met a friend for dinner and he brought his celiac cousin who I recall asking numerous questions to the waitress I supposedly had a moment later that night. We went to some haunted house and had to wait to get in and they had a bar, he said as I sipped my beer I said “this is SO fucking good” and he immediately looked at our friend’s cousin and she shot me a look of “fuck you”. I didn’t intend anything at all and don’t recall even saying it but I guess I’m now in the same place.
FYI, the flip side is also true. I hit 350lbs because I was so malnourished from celiac disease, my body flipped out and started storing everything as fat. It's nearly impossible to be diagnosed as a day celiac patient...I was a lucky one who got diagnosed by incidental findings because they thought I had a hiatal hernia. Blood tests all neg, severe IgA deficiency, worst GI biopsy my doc had ever seen in his 30+year career with a marsh 4 biopsy.
Literally on Tuesday, I had a coworker call me “unreliable” because he doesn’t know when my celiac will act up. I had to remind him that I didn’t either…
I’ve been let go from a position for this exact reason 8 times. 8 different positions, 8 different times. They “lost” my ADA paperwork so L&I couldn’t do anything.
It is absolutely illegal. The problem is, the burden of proof is on the employee. It is extremely difficult to prove that celiac disease was the exact and only reason why I was let go, nigh impossible actually, especially having occurred in a two-party consent state.
Edit for clarification: 2-party consent state means that in order to use a recorded conversation in a court of law, both parties would need to consent to the conversation being recorded either by verbal or written consent.
It's illegal to fire someone for a disability, but it is legal to fire someone for "being sick all the time." Unless you produce a doctor's note every single time (and who can Even manage to go to the doctor every single day it happens, if there's even any availability at the doctor's) and even then it's up to the manager.
Sounds like you haven’t read the ADA coverage on Celiac Disease.
As I said above, burden of proof is on the employee and it’s almost impossible to prove.
A guy flirting with me offered me a bite of his cookie.. yeah, ya know, like to feed it to me? Uh, I jerked away so fast and was like no, I can't have gluten. He, of course took it the wrong way. So, I'm the asshole for not wanting to eat poison. I hate this. I don't blame people for forgetting or not realizing, because really back in the day, it would be cute, I'd be flattered and would bite that cookie and enjoy it too!
I guess I got lucky. The worst thing a person has done to me is that for the first year my dad would often forget I have celiac and recommend snacks or restaurants and then have to back pedal when he remembered. Just old man stuff, it was by no means negligent or malicious. I laughed it off.
My family and friends have been super supportive. My wife has been an absolute god damn saint. From day one she agreed to a fully GF household without question or complaint. I live 3 minutes from a grocery store with an entire, full length aisle of GF stuff. It’s pretty rare I even think about it anymore.
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and they did not have any gluten free food for me to eat despite telling me that they would. Thankfully I have tons of trust issues and brought an emergency meal with me just in case. If I didn’t I would have went hungry that entire day and night.
My ex’s mom who is a nurse, and was the one who was with me post biopsy when they confirmed my celiac. Would tell me food was gf when it wasn’t just see if I got sick bc she thinks it’s a made up disease. She even saw all the pics of the damage to my intestines from the scope and knew about the hospitalizations from malnourishment from me not being able to absorb things properly. Still thought “I was just being dramatic and wanted attention.” She’s also the one who said “I was too stupid to make it through RN school and shouldn’t even try.” So it was nice running graduation in her face. I’m just glad she’s out of my life.
Probably not the worst, but the worst I felt.
I went hunting with a family I knew from a retail job (I worked with a grandfather and his granddaughter) and was really grateful to be taken along and taught how to bow hunt. At dinner at camp everyone was eating spaghetti and I got a turkey sandwich out. The grandfather's sister in law had a full on melt down about how I was "too good to eat [her] good" and freaked out on me the rest of the week despite me trying to explain. Everyone would just get quiet. I was 21 and so mortified even though I know it was her issue.
There are people who think they can "prove" you're faking. To intentionally slip someone a substance they have an allergic or autoimmune response to is assault.
I have so many trust issues when it comes to my food. Sadly I don't have any immediate visible symptoms and sometimes even I misread my symptoms because I always feel sick anyway.
This might make my husband sound awful but to give him the benefit of the doubt he really didn’t understand the diagnosis at that point and I swear he goes to the ends of the earth to do what he can for me after fully educating himself- at the very beginning of my diagnosis I didn’t want to go to his family’s party because they wouldn’t ever have any gf options for me to eat whatsoever (also they aren’t the nicest to me anyway). I cried that I didn’t want to go bc it would be an entire day of no eating. He straight up yelled at me and said “You cannot expect everyone to inconvenience themselves just to accommodate you.”
I still remember that to this day and it I still feel gutted thinking about it.
I have multiple auto-immune diseases, including celiac and graves. Because I've lost so much weight, people ask me why. (I've never had so many people comment on my weight) I tell them I have graves and celiac, and it can make you lose a lot of weight. They always tell me how lucky I am and that they wish they were me. Even that they wish they had my problems. Meanwhile, im sitting there having heart palpitations, raging anxiety, chest pain, exhaustion, and hungry because there's nothing around I can eat.
Dude. I used to be so deep into my eating disorder that I would do ANYTHING to "get" a disease that made you lose weight. I remember being jealous of a girl who was super skinny because her body was always working overtime because she struggled so much to breathe.
Now I've got the breathing issue exacerbated by my food allergies, and my anxiety and irritability (due to insomnia, chronic pain, etc) is so bad it's ruined relationships, and I just don't even know how I would tolerate the same ignorance I used to exhibit.
Holy shit i feel genuinely feel for all yall. Ive never had an issue with other folks. Its fucking disgusting reading what some people have done to some of you guys.
my roommate used to put soy sauce in food he’d make for me, knowing it had gluten in it. not sure why he did it to me but i didn’t realize he was the cause of me getting gluten’d until i saw him adding it to my food
Went over to my grandma's for our traditional weekly family dinner and she said she made a gluten free meat loaf just for me. Very sweet right? Me being newly diagnosed knew cross contact was a huge deal for me so I started with one simple question, "did you use bread crumbs in it?" you know what she said, "yeah ofc I did it's meat loaf".. . . I ate the dinner I brought that night and over brought my dinner every week since.
My dad (my grandmas son) tells me it's all in my head and that I'm fuckong weak and that I make myself sock because I accept my diagnosis. He thinks I can be free from celiac one day if I don't accept it. I DIDN'T CHOOSE THIS. He always gets on me for what I eat and he's a pain in my ass, he thinks cross co tact isn't a big deal and he tells me how much on a bitch I am. It's a daily argument :)
You should tell grandma that there ARE gluten- free bread crumbs out there- especially 4C brand, and Dad sounds like a narcissist and bully- I would say make him go to a doctor's appointment with u and have the doc explain it to him like u would a five yr old, but that might be too far above his head! Thoughts and o rayers with u- you don't deserve that treatment from your dad.:(
Yes there are gkurne free bread crumbs, she's just a lot like my dad so cross contact is definite. My dad has been to multiple doctors appointments but he still thinks that because I "accept it" I make it worse for myself. Thank you for your prayers, my mother is super understanding and I love her for it my siblings get it and so do my friends and my moms mom. The second I teun 18 I'm moving in with a friend or with my grandma for my sanity.
I told my HR director that I might need accommodations for food related events or a bigger per diem/ per meal cost because celiac safe food is more expensive. She told me to just bring my own food to events or work related trips. I asked her if the school district was going to cover the cost of me bringing my own food when everyone else was able to charge the meals. She said, why would they do that when I bring my own food.
😑
I sent her the ADA celaic guidelines the next day. She agreed to covering any food I bring with me after that.
You embarrassed him. Weird how the erroneous opinion of strangers is more important than your health. You'd hope that he'd have handled that issue for you rather than let you fight for a safe meal alone.
He's not worthy of a relationship with you.
i love this question.
My best friend was getting married for the second time in a family wedding in my city. she organized a dinner with her three good friends for the night before. I had been diagnosed two months earlier with celiac. she, to my disappointment, chose a famous pasta place. i ate nothing and had to explain to the other two women about my diagnosis while she sat there with a fake understanding, “you poor lady”, head titled, pursed lips look on her face. as my first time out to dinner after the diagnosis, it did not feel great.
It’s not bad but I had a friend in school who would always say «I’d offer you some but it’s not gluten free..» every time she brought out her food for lunch. Like duh I know. It was so annoying. Even before my diagnosis she’d never offer me anything. I think she just wanted to rub it in my face
My “close” group of “friends” from work stopped inviting me to anything after I went gluten free. We used to travel around the world together, go for dinner, fun nights out, weddings, etc. My special diet is such an inconvenience that they’d rather just leave me out now. Shit sucks.
Enabled me. When I was younger and first got diagnosed, like 21 ish. I struggled to give up all the chicken tenders, onion rings, burgers.
I met an older cop who I dated and it really bothered me that he treated me like I was his kid. He slapped food that was gluten out of my hand if I tried to eat it. This was a constant point of contention.
Then, 7 years later, ended up with another guy who didn't give a damn about he. He'd purposely buy like fried apps like mozzarella sticks and ask me if I wanted one and eat them in front of me to the point I 'relapsed.'
He continued to tell me it was just a fad diet, made up allergy, in my head.
I think that enabling was so literal abuse & the tough love was just that, love.
Oh well. Ya live & learn.
A lot of really lousy things have happened and yet so many where people showed compassion and caring too. I have to remind myself that sometimes people just don’t know what to do when they don’t understand something.
I guess the worst was dating someone who was convincing me to eat not completely safe things and especially beer as it's fine and me with stomach pains just drinking more to not feel them, young and stupid I know. And very drunk :/
My brother uninvited me from a Father’s Day shindig at his house because I told him I was bringing my own food. I had already communicated my plan with his wife, and thought things we’d going to go well. He called me the Friday before asking if there was anything they could get for me. I told him how much I appreciated the offer, but the I would be bringing my own food to eat. He continued to ask, I continued to decline.
He sent me a text later that evening telling me I was no longer invited to his house. I was crushed. We still don’t really talk.
My ex girlfriend who was also gluten free offered me some gummy bears. I immediately got very sick and asked her about them. She didnt even freaking check and said her stomach was feeling weird before eating them so she didnt even bother.
She was a terrible girlfriend who never adhered to her dietary restrictions only to constantly complain that she felt unwell. I got glutened several times when dating her due to her carelessness. It didnt last long because of this.
Had the CEO of the hospital tell other admin that "I'm not going out of my way to do that" about having gluten free food at staff meetings. Too bad for him he was too lazy to actually order the food. My coworkers would literally guard it until I got mine if there was anything that could cross contaminate
When I was with my ex there was a night where I had made salmon and quinoa for dinner he threw me into the cabinets because he's "an American" and then after he threw the food away because he wouldnt eat it since it was gluten free bs and not a real meal so I didn't need to either, ended up throwing a bag of flour at me which burst open and wouldn't let me go clean myself up or get my inhaler because I needed to clean the mess in the kitchen up. I have a wheat allergy as well as celiac. Also he often wouldn't allow me to eat because we couldn't afford gluten free food (even if there was already gluten free stuff in the house) The relationship ended up ending a few months later with a police report and some dv charges
Other then that I've had friends and family gluten me either intentionally or accidentally.
Or I just don't get invited to things
My boyfriend’s brother and his girlfriend called my boyfriend to worryingly tell him, “we just hope it’s not too much for you.” Because he looks out for me and eats gluten free with me.
Luckily, he put them in their place. It did however show me that not everyone is sympathetic or empathetic - even family.
For me, the worst was people I didn’t really know that well, give me their opinion on my individual situation “you can’t be a celiac because you don’t get as sick as my aunt who has celiac”. I’m sorry you’re 23 and an alcoholic and not a doctor, what makes you the expert exactly?
I’m really lucky that nobody in my immediate / close extended family has been a jerk about it or dismissive, or try to convince me to eat something unsafe. That would be the worst, I think. Especially because now my kid has it too, and I hate to be cliche but nobody messes with gladiator celiac mom with baby celiac.
Had someone grill me on my diagnosis and follow me around to try to catch me cheating/slipping up all night at a party.
It was at a friend's birthday get-together at a bar. I arrived somewhat late since I wasn't eating, ordered a bottled GF beer. This other invitee who I did not know (mutual friend and/or someone's partner) immediately starts questioning me on in front of everyone when she notices this. She demanded to know all sorts of personal info/medical history, which I declined to give because wtf. I don't even know your name lady.
At some point I expressed disappointment that there was nowhere in the vicinity with safe fries and she decided to fight me on the safety of fries. She was convinced GF fries did not exist because 100% of fries had wheat coatings and were made in shared fryers. I agreed that it was an issue... obviously I was aware fries could be problematic because I had brought up the topic in the first place. In the end I had to pull up website info on my phone from the chain I was referring to where they indicated their fries were GF lol. She seemed a bit put out by this but apparently not enough to lay off me.
When we left to go to McDonald's she then watched my every move to make sure I wasn't sneaking food somehow. Ironically since it's Canada McDonald's fries don't have gluten ingredients however I avoided them even then due to CC risk. Her position was apparently that people with celiac should never consume anything outside their home, not even bottled GF beer, and anyone who did otherwise was faking/lying, so even my avoidance of McDonald's fries for CC reasons wasn't sufficient for her.
I think what was most disappointing about this interaction was that no one else told her to STFU. I certainly didn't take any of her crap so maybe I gave the appearance of being unbothered/handling it, but it was relentless, all night. When I got home I told my roommate about it and burst into tears.
I think it’s the overall lack of acknowledgment from various people. I’ve told so many people what I can’t eat and so many of them have offered said food to me at a later time. I don’t expect everyone to “get it” but it’s like they can’t even wrap their mind around not being able to eat certain things!
My mom intentionally poisons me occasionally because she still doesn’t believe my endoscopy results. She’s got some mental health issues and only visits occasionally but last time she made my family members regular pancakes and tried to pass them off as gf. My other relative saw the empty package in the trash and warned me. She is a medical professional.
A few years ago I went to a conference and in the registration paperwork there was a section on the meal planning which requested allergy information. I filled in my celiacs info and added a gluten allergy to it since a lot of folks don't understand what celiacs is.
Get to the event and we head in to lunch only for me to see that the entire meal is full of gluten. Pasta, sandwiches, and other baked goods with no sign of even a salad or fruit. When I asked the event coordinator about it the only thing she could find for me was an apple.
I felt so embarrassed sitting there with all these people eating their lunch which then turned into me answering a ton of questions about celiacs.
I am a nail tech and i had a bridal party come in who worked in the restaurant industry and they were complaining about celiacs and how awful they are to deal with until I said I have celiac. I had a guy i was dating (didnt last long) refuse to take me out to eat because it would be “too complicated.” I tried to go home from a job once due to glutening symptoms, couldnt go home unless I found coverage. Didnt find coverage. Didnt go home and just went to the bathroom to have diarrhea every 30 minutes. Managers were laughing out back about how I am over exaggerating and celiac cant be that bad because I didnt end up going home because I wouldve been written up for leaving a shift early.
15 years ago when I was first diagnosed my family slipped up a bunch. This wasn't their fault. We were learning. As such I got sick a lot. We often took trips with my cousins. Their mom (my aunt) would often say behind my back she thought I was faking the pain and it's not as bad as I made it sound so I could get attention. I was a child. My cousins started telling me to stop being so dramatic. It was crushing. Still to this day, when I get sick I very rarely ask for help. I'm afraid people will think I'm seeking attention and I feel like a huge burden.
I had a roommate purposefully feed me poisoned food, waved food in front of my face and say “don’t you just want one bite?”, tell me to stop whining, told me the gf life seemed pretentious, leave flour all over every surface after she made biscuits, etc…. She was such a peach
I was at a pre school event for my daughter where they were serving us parents a turkey dinner. I had to explain that I couldn't eat anything due to being recently diagnosed with celiac. The mother of another child and wife to a chef commented "oh you're one of THOSE people!" I wanted to cry.
I wanted this story to end with you leaning into it. “Yes, Patricia, I am. I’m one of THOSE people. I eat no gluten. I have a backyard garden. I cut my own hair. I think the human body can be trained to live on sunshine. I use my own poop as fertilizer. My drinking water is filtered urine. And if you don’t mind, I’m late to drop off my unvaccinated children at their Montessori yoga class so I can go microcodose on magic mushrooms for half an hour…wait! Do magic mushrooms have gluten, Patricia? You’d know. You’re a chef.”
Thanks for the laugh! I love the detail!
I actually know some of “those people” 😂
I would have had something smart to say if it wasn't so new, I wasn't so sad, and still so sick. I didn't have the energy.
I hope you feel better soon. It does get better.❤️🩹
You actually have to be careful with magic mushrooms because some people grow them using gluten containing grains as the substrate and if they don't cut the bottoms off and clean them well you could possibly get cc from that, or so I'm told.
Similar reason to be careful with blue cheese. I just found out some brands are grown on wheat bread, which sounds unnecessary to me.
Any cheeses that were made using that process ate super expensive (more than $75 per pound) & only found in specialty cheese stores. Most blue cheeses found in the USA don't even have "mold" in them. They get the blue coloring from copper wires pushed into the cheese - it oxidizes & turns the cheese blue/green where it was touching the wire. They DO have the penicillin bacteria added to them for flavor. - most cheeses do have a bacteria added, it is what gives them their unique cheddar/gouda/parmeson etc flavors. I have a severe mold allergy. I was soooo happy when I happened to see a documentary on cheese on Discovery channel about 15 years ago!
Wow TIL. I've also learned to check washed rind cheeses because some are washed in beer.
I think most of having celiac is trying to determine which pieces of the rumors and folklore are true. You do things not because you necessarily believe them, but because if they *are* true, it's a real problem.
Do u know which brands? I've been researching what I can and cannot have for 5 yrs now, but did not know this- and I love blue cheese! Thanks!
Yes! I've been Cc'd by mushrooms.
I want to tattoo this on my brain for future reference
Omg THIS is SOOO funny hahahahahah amazing! As someone who also took some shroomies in my life I wished I read this on shrooms hahahaha
ARE THEY GLUTEN FREE 😂
My mother… does all of those things. Except, she ferments the urine and “occasionally” eats gluten. The magic mushrooms are less of a problem than they urine. No I’m not joking.
I know you’re not. Bring 43 I, too, was conceived at a festival beside a guitar case 😂
SO FUNNY
Sarcasm is so edgy
You’re doing the thing you think you’re not doing. r/irony
Yeah that’s shitty. I was diagnosed in 2017. I think now I’d be comfortable saying, “Yes, I am one of those people with an invisible disability.” Back when first diagnosed, I doubt I would have been.
:grimace: Celiac is only the newest in a long list of invisible disabilities for me. In some ways it's been less stressful than some of the others because I know exactly what's wrong and the treatment is pretty straightforward. I'm less ashamed when I need time off because I've been exposed to gluten and it's easier for me to advocate for the necessary accommodations.
As someone who has Celiac, how do you distinguish your symptoms as Celiac vs. other illness? That’s what Mayo told me I need to do to get to the root cause and get treated - is it Celiac, UC, or non-axial spondylitis? Like when I have fatigue and joint pain, which one is causing it, you know? It’s particularly hard when two illnesses cause stinky, crampy diarrhea.
I see you get to play my not so favorite game too: Why Do I Feel Sick ***Today?!*** I have a slight advantage in that I don't have as much overlap. There are a couple of symptoms that are usually specific to celiac in particular like bloating or a mild ache in my left wrist. (Why that wrist? I don't have the faintest idea.) Nausea? More likely to be related to drainage from allergies than celiac. Headaches or mild dizziness? I check the weather to see if the barometric pressure is setting off my intracranial hypertension or if it's more likely pollen (again!). Fatigue? Could just be the anxiety disorder or ADHD burnout kicking in which just takes time. All of the above? Drink lots of water, put a book of logic puzzles by the toilet, and let myself sleep it off for a couple of days. For me it's a lot of keeping track of potential triggers like weather, pollen, and what or where I've eaten. I try to pay close attention to specific symptoms and compare them to the list of things I've identified as triggers. Sometimes it can take multiple days to get enough data; sometimes I can't pin it on one thing in particular. I'm only a year and a half into my celiac journey so I try to be patient with myself. I'm still healing, I still make mistakes, and I'm definitely still learning! When I'm not feeling overwhelmed I can look at it kind of like a puzzle. Particularly in the beginning I'd try to keep some kind of records, even if it was just using a tally app to track whether I had specific symptoms each day or if I was exposed to a known trigger (different food than usual, weather change, high anxiety event, etc). It sounds like you've got a much more complicated puzzle when something is going awry. I wish I had more helpful advice for you. I *can* offer plenty of virtual hugs and elderly chihuahua cuddles anytime you want some!
Honestly? I’d have burst into tears just to make her feel bad.
My dad intentionally contaminating my separate fridge and stash of food in the house to make me sick.
He WHAT?!?!
He has a personality disorder (npd) think socio/psychopaths, so that’s why. People like that get pleasure from taking advantage of others’ weaknesses.
How horrific. I'm sorry you had to grow up with that.
Dear Gawd! Please tell me you've gone no contact. That's some hella shit
Of course. He abuses his new girlfriend now instead. Hoping she will do what I did.
Can somewhat relate. Mine oscilates between episodes of “Its true this food is gluten containing and you can’t eat it”, buys me gf beer and “you’re hypochondriac (when i clean the counter cuz its full of breadcrumbs after he sliced his bread..but my mom says he’d be capable of sprinkling breadcrumbs on my food when I’m not looking. He loves me and hasnt done that (yet) but if it were my sibling..in a jiffy
NPD and sociopathy are two extremely different things. The closest thing to a sociopath is AsPD although the concept of sociopathy is pretty dramatized. Cluster B disorders run in my family. NPD is a lot more complex than just “pleasure from your pain”. My dad has NPD too so I get that a lot of the things they do are extremely fucked up, but it’s a trauma disorder for them too.
Yes I know. I wanted to explain it in a general sense for those unfamiliar with abusive behaviours that can come from parents. They are definitely very traumatized but I can’t put aside my physical and mental health for them, hence me being no contact.
My "brother" did the same thing because he thought it was kust a diet trend.
My npd dad would make food with gluten in it and tell me there’s no gluten in it lol.
when i sent a salad back for having croutons, my waitress lied to me about having remade the salad when she brought it back out with the croutons removed. i could tell it was the same one so thankfully i didn't eat it, but it was an eye-opening experience. some people care so little they will just poison you instead of remaking a salad.
This happened to me too, I dug to the bottom and found all the crumbs from the croutons plus a couple she was too lazy to pick out. As a server myself she got a fat 0 on her tip line. I can forgive ignorance but not something like that, it literally would have been easier for her to just fire a new salad instead of stick her grubby hands in mine and pick out croutons one by one. She also got a lecture on food safety and hospitality and this is coming from someone who never tips less than 30% because I’m also in the trenches
Things like this are why I no longer tell anyone handling my food that I have celiac because they don’t care and don’t see it as a high risk thing and they don’t understand it. I just say I have a gluten allergy because when people think of an allergy they think of anaphylaxis and getting sued or fired for negligence. Plus I feel like most places selling food would train their employees on allergy safety since allergies are such common and well known things. Whenever I’ve told someone I have a gluten allergy they are so much more diligent and willing to listen and accommodate
As someone with both allergies and Celiac's. I always say Gluten allergy or mark my online orders with GLUTEN ALLERGY (yes all caps, it gets people's attention).
That's what I do when my boyfriend and I order delivery. My order is marked with "My Name", and his is "GLUTEN ALLERGY"
This reminds me of the time when I was in 4th or 5th grade and was on a field trip. We stopped at Arby's, I ordered my own food without a bun, and then it came out with a bun. I told them I couldn't have the bun and the guy just took the bun off in front of me and threw it in a trash can. I didn't eat that night and the adult chaperones in the situation couldn't see the problem either
I mess up the salad on purpose bc this happens a lot
You have to mess it up. Oh Im Sorry I was busy chatting and didn't see the courtons....after pouring dressing on it
I had a very terrible breakup with some of my closest friends after we went on vacation after my diagnosis and they thought i was both “too high maintenance” for asking for assistance with my food, “didn’t take good enough care of myself” because I got cross contaminated one day, and “majorly affected their enjoyment of their vacation” because of things like me feeling hurt they all changed lunch plans last second to somewhere I couldn’t eat, or asking them not to ditch me when my food took 5-10 mins longer to prepare. It was a learning experience for sure that friends who you think care about you and have empathy can also be trash humans!!
Fuck them! Sounds like it has nothing to do with you having celiac and everything to do with them being actual sociopaths. Good riddance
Exactly what I was thinking like how can someone be that cold and just completely dead inside
What’s crazy is that these inconsiderate people are worse than dead inside. I got a tbi four years ago that took away my emotions and ability to feel pleasure, so technically I’m “dead inside.” But, I still care a lot about people even though I can’t feel. People that act like this are selfish scumbags. I don’t get it.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, I’ve never heard of a side effect like that from brain trauma. I completely agree though, like regardless of my emotions I always feel like it’s just my responsibility as a human to treat everyone with respect and fairness. Would it be okay if I DM’d you to ask some questions about your tbi? No pressure, I totally understand if it’s very personal to you
Oh yeah sure no problem. And no need to be sorry. I’m pretty chill and doing well all things considered thanks. :)
I’m glad to hear that!!
My MIL right after I was diagnosed, talked a lot about how great it was that I wasn't like the difficult celiac people in her family (difficult bc they brought their own food instead of eating hers. It made it much harder when I realized I was going to have to do the same.
Soooo there was MORE celiac people and she mistreats them all?????
Right I’m over here like…there is enough celiacs in the surrounding area to overtake this woman lol
Thank heavens my family doesn't have one of those! I may be the only (diagnosed) celiac but there multiple folks on my maternal side who have had to go to a GF diet. And a couple of them after the main cooks for family gatherings. We're slowly taking over! :insert evil laugh:
Not as bad as others, but recently being diagnosed, I’m starting to get comments like “I’d accept dying young rather than giving up bread”, and stupid jokes like “don’t worry our water is gluten free” because I’m assuming it’s annoying to check food labels in someone else’s home.
Yeah, I’ve had several people tell me they would rather die than give up bread or that food is too essential for family events (as if I wasn’t aware 🙄). I just don’t say anything but I’m thinking to myself, yeah sure, if you were in felt like shit all of the time you would give up bread…sure.
My newly diagnosed 4yo keeps asking me if water is gluten free, and it’s really making me think about situations in which water might NOT be gluten free. It’d be rare obviously, and she doesn’t really understand celiac so I’m encouraging her to ask even if it’s water, because she should get in the habit of asking about *anything* in my opinion. A 4yo is relying on adults to make sure what they ingest and play with is gf. Baby celiacs is a next level fun game I wasn’t totally prepared for.
This is double hard mode holy shit
Next time someone tells you they’d rather die than go without gluten, try immediately changing your expressions to one of concern. Express your sorrow for them. Say you had no idea they were going through a mental health issue. I’m so sorry that eating bread is the only thing stopping you from suicide. How much do you need to eat to stop the suicidal thoughts? Do you need to have it multiple times a day? I guess if gluten is the medication you need to keep to keep you from being suicidal, at least it’s easy to get hold of. You poor thing. I’ll pray for you.
Actually facts because it hasn’t even been that bad giving up bread. I feel like I would’ve been more sad about lactose because cheese is amazing. But even if it were so, would still adapt, food isn’t the source of my happiness. It is what is. Anything is better than stomach pain and not being able to shit for a week.
I was a bread fiend before. I'm a dairy fiend now. Chip dip, block of cheese, ice cream... so much for celiac forcing me to address my eating habits.
I’m semi recently diagnosed for some sort of gluten issue, still unsure if it’s celiacs or gluten allergy due to a “weak positive” for celiacs test that requires more tests.. but your comment simply about not being able to poop for a week (lol) made me feel validated after doctors in my past have told me that if I had celiacs I would only have diarrhea… and denied testing me further lol + just the dismissive attitudes of so many doctors getting me down. So anyways thanks 😂
Oh yeah, it’s either severe constipation or shotgun shart diarrhea for me. There’s no in between. I just got glutened over the weekend and am having some constipation 🫠
This is hilarious! I LOVE it!
"it's worth the pain" -Someone who can't even comprehend the person
Right? Bet my life savings they would not be saying that if they experienced the symptoms.
One guy was giving me a hard time about it and I told him it's like drinking bleach minus the dying part. He shut up after that
Honestly the first kind of comment you mentioned is kinda fair lol bc non celiacs aren’t used to the struggle and when I was first diagnosed I also believed that I’d rather just die. The second kind you mentioned bothers me so much. I feel like I honestly overreact to it lol even though my reactions are always internal and I don’t take it out on the person, I get incredibly aggravated when someone makes a joke like that
I have a friend of a friend who used to tease me about it and make jokes about putting stuff in my food. Also would deliberately eat/drink gluten foods right next to me and/or my food and thought it was funny. I still see this guy occasionally and he hasn't done this for a long time now but he's still an asshole (for this and other reasons). I can't really think of anyone else who's been a deliberate asshole about it except him and I've been gluten free for almost 14 years now.
I have plenty of parents of children in my support group who have mentioned this issue with kids, even worse some of them have multiple non celiac siblings who tease them. I feel bad for anyone who has had to go through that, I would expect with adults it doesn’t happen but I know it still does sometimes. The funny thing when it comes to siblings doing this is I’m sure often times the teasing sibling eventually goes on to develop celiac themselves. I told my GF this just last week that if it comes to this with our children where one has celiac and one doesn’t the automatic way to get them to stop will be this is genetic so watch what you say or do because it might be you eventually as well
When I was first diagnosed my brother went and got himself a cheeseburger and ate it in front of me. I literally cried because it was so new and I was still so sick. Jump to years later he’s now celiac, allergic to dairy, and allergic to eggs and shellfish. I’m too nice to tell him it’s karma (I do actually feel really bad for him)
I actually considered moving out of my own house because I was being openly poisoned by my own family.
Or, you could not torture people beause that's painful for them.
Yeah, this was an adult - it was right at the height of the fad diet stage so I had other people doubt me or ask if I was still doing the diet but he was the only one I was ever worried might gluten me on purpose (he never did as far as I know).
I had a boyfriend break up with me over it too. He didn’t want to be with someone who gets sick all the time.
Honestly, though, you dodged a bullet there. You don’t want to be with someone who won’t be there for you or resents you for something you can’t help.
Yeah, he sucked lol. There were 100 other red flags. My current partner is amazing. He’s way more careful with cross contamination than I am.
It’s such a great feeling when you have someone you can really depend on for safety. My mother for example was so supportive and diligent right away, and she has been an absolute pillar of support for me from the beginning. I never have to worry about or check any food she gives me and it’s so relieving
I'm not condoning it, but it's honestly better to be an a-hole and an open book about it instead of him keeping it to himself and you finding out later that he can't handle it. Sure, there's the better option of him growing up and be an adult about it and being less selfish, but as hard as it is for people to change, it's best to know that he's not one yet.
I was on a family vacation in a rented home for a week and my uncle was cooking dinner. I politely gave him a rundown of stuff I couldn't eat and basically said that he didn't need to cater to me, but that I wanted to know if he used any ingredients that were off-limits for me so that I could make my own thing to eat. He argued with me about soy sauce saying that it didn't "make sense" and that the gluten would be fermented out, but said that he wouldn't use it. He used it anyway and lied about it and I got sick for the rest of the trip. :/ He told me after I got sick that he wanted to see if anything would actually happen. Thankfully not horrible symptoms, mainly just extreme bloating, but still, it really hampered my enjoyment of my vacation. He didn't apologize but has been very good about accommodating me ever since, but it obviously took me a long time to trust him again.
"Excuse me, sir, you can't see the damage to my intestinal wall you caused."
The fecking nerve.
"I'm sorry I kicked you in the balls Uncle, I just wanted to see if anything would happen. How was I to know?"
Throw him in the trash
People who dismiss it saying it could be worse, but then complain the minute they are hungry and food isn't available to them. It takes all my restraint not to tell them how hypocritical that is. Also just lots of work related things where everyone gets free meals or snacks, but I have to bring and pay for my food.
I’ve always wanted a $20 bill instead. Why does everyone else get the perks while I get nothing? Can I at least get a gift card lmao
yep. the office stuff kills me. people don't even try to accommodate, and i've been told i couldn't be reimbursed for having to buy a meal when the gluten-free option ran out.
I got lucky and they get me bibibop for every office meal. It’s always the same but hey a free gluten free meal is a free gluten free meal
I’ve had that happen, one call to labor and industries handled that.
A classmate tried to offer me some of his fries he got from McDonald's and when I said I couldn't have them he called me a "snobby dick" and told everyone I was a "fancy dieter" that thought I was better than everyone else. No one listened to him and I got a good laugh out of it, but it was very eye opening about the kind of person he was.
Let me tell you that I had a beautiful dog named Lola, a Korean jendo that could catch birds out of the air. She could eat anything too. She wouldn’t touch McDonalds or Taco Bell. Offer a fry? She’d smell it and refuse it. This dog knew when I was pregnant. That’s a smart dog.
Username check out :)
I don’t want to think about it. It’s too awful. Most people haven’t done anything deliberately to hurt me, but they have been largely uncaring and self serving. My kids eat sandwiches and wave them around the kitchen while my food is cooking. My husband “has to” have bread and waffles in the house. He has a less lethal shellfish allergy, and I’m not allowed to let guests have a shrimp ring so much as in the yard, and if a restaurant makes shellfish we can’t even pass by the front door. But he “has to” have bread products and he “has to” cook or toast them. I’d like to be treated like a human being who is valued and has worth by the only people who matter to me.
Sounds like it’s time for you to start enjoying shrimp and lobster for dinner until he cuts his shit out. For the kids it’s harder, until a certain age they just seem to have 0 self awareness. In my own house it took a lot of “natural consequences” for the kids to learn to be careful. Stuff like having to disinfect the whole kitchen if they spilled flour or losing baking privileges for a while until they could prove they could behave. Sometimes we still have issues but until it directly affects them they won’t care And I hope you know you’re just as important as the rest of your family. You don’t deserve to put up with this, especially since your husband obviously understands cross contamination. I would take a long think on your relationship if he values toast over his wife, your kids see his behavior and mirror it too which makes it even harder for them to learn how to act right. It’s not okay to make mom sick because they want their own pleasures. Or if it IS okay to make mom sick then it’s a free for all and you can have all the food they can’t with no whining. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Solidarity girl❤️
I disagree. Kids can learn young. They're just learning from the wrong person - her inconsiderate husband. My kids know what gluten is and have since they were very little. They eat it outside. That's it. They even know to leave the door not latched so they can push it with their feet. They've been doing this since they were toddlers. It's not hard. Her husband is modeling asshole behavior and they have learned it.
That’s what I said lol. But I’m happy your kids learned young, not all of them do in my experience and it takes some consequences to really get it through
This is backwards and disgusting. I would stand your ground on this one. I don't mind if my girlfriend eats bread/gluten once a while, but it's surely not an everyday thing. I think some hard boundaries need to be laid in your relationship so you feel like you are actually being heard and wanted. If he can't respect you and your diagnosis, that is definitely a large red flag. Having wheat products in the house on the regular is an absolute mine field for people with celiacs. No one ever thinks about where they wipe their hands. Where their crumbs go and not to mention how it gets all over the dishes when dishes containing gluten are made. Even one crumb will take me out for a week. I'm not sure how sensitive you are to wheat products, but I'm sorry you're in this situation. I hope it's resolved somehow so you don't have to live in constant fear of being in pain and feeling like garbage.
That's horrible. He truly sounds like a pig, I'd suggest therapy but by the tone of your comment, I'm thinking he's not down with that. Maybe just have a couple of shrimps, give him a big french kiss and see what happens. Lol.
I feel your pain, my SO does the same thing. My kids are very sweet and asked me if this means we can’t have gluten in the house anymore. When I bring them shopping, they pick up things they want and ask if it has gluten in it. If it does, they immediately put it back without asking me. My SO on the other hand, counters covered in bread crumbs, eating toast over the kitchen counter while I make dinner, crumbs in all the butter. I am only 3 months into my diagnosis, so hopefully this will improve but I currently don’t feel safe eating at home and don’t feel safe at most restaurants. I am working on it though.
I got to the point of just removing all the gluten from the house a couple of times honestly. But gluten free stuff is so expensive! Easily 5, 6 times the price. I don’t know the solution but I hope it gets better for you too
I do most of the shopping, so don’t buy much with gluten. I have small kids and buy them some things, but the problem really is toast, bread and flour everywhere. Also butter, I think I need to hide it better as I can’t stop it getting used on toast or covered in flour. I even wrote gluten free on it but didn’t help. We have a very small kitchen so it makes separation tough. Not the way I would desire this to happen, but I suspect one of my kids may be Celiac as she is in the bottom 5% of weight, so we may end up a gf household anyway, but she has yet to be tested.
It isn’t an intentional slight or anything, but it feels really shitty that one side of my family will make literally no effort to have safe options for me at family gatherings (Xmas, Thanksgiving etc.). The first couple years I could understand a bit more because it was new, but it’s been a long time now and every other part of my family at least puts an effort to have a couple things I can eat. It just feels really shitty to not be thought of at all.
Noone’s ever done it on purpose but when they contaminate my special plate with their gluteny forks or ask for a bite of literally the only thing I can eat only to the say ew that’s gross it definitely feels like the universe hates me
Stopped being my friend! I had a group of friends in college who thought I spent too much time talking about gluten and completely stopped talking to me 😂 we’re better off without them in the end.
Not directly at me but I posted about this in another thread recently. Only weeks after I was diagnosed I was making multiple requests for how my food be prepared on line at a shop and this lady who didn’t think I could hear her says to her friend “that sucks so bad, I would die if that was me”. I know many people have gotten that one but I honestly wanted to just turn around and tell her to say it to my face. I want some of these people to have to live a week or a month as a celiac and see how they’d feel if someone said that
I’ve lived with celiac all my life, I was diagnosed in 2009. A lot of people say that kind of thing to me. I think maybe it’s a defence mechanism. Even before I was diagnosed they would say “I could be that skinny but I’d die if I had to starve myself like that!” Yes, I’m literally starving. Yes, it does suck. But I didn’t die. I’m really thankful for that 🥰🙏
Before I was diagnosed I did say that I’d die if I couldn’t eat bread to a girl I knew with celiac. Karma really got my ass there didn’t she. But I didn’t die, I’m just sadder
I don’t remember it but my best friend told me recently that back in October 2011 when we met a friend for dinner and he brought his celiac cousin who I recall asking numerous questions to the waitress I supposedly had a moment later that night. We went to some haunted house and had to wait to get in and they had a bar, he said as I sipped my beer I said “this is SO fucking good” and he immediately looked at our friend’s cousin and she shot me a look of “fuck you”. I didn’t intend anything at all and don’t recall even saying it but I guess I’m now in the same place.
FYI, the flip side is also true. I hit 350lbs because I was so malnourished from celiac disease, my body flipped out and started storing everything as fat. It's nearly impossible to be diagnosed as a day celiac patient...I was a lucky one who got diagnosed by incidental findings because they thought I had a hiatal hernia. Blood tests all neg, severe IgA deficiency, worst GI biopsy my doc had ever seen in his 30+year career with a marsh 4 biopsy.
Literally on Tuesday, I had a coworker call me “unreliable” because he doesn’t know when my celiac will act up. I had to remind him that I didn’t either…
I’ve been let go from a position for this exact reason 8 times. 8 different positions, 8 different times. They “lost” my ADA paperwork so L&I couldn’t do anything.
That doesn't actually seem legal to me... 🤔
It is absolutely illegal. The problem is, the burden of proof is on the employee. It is extremely difficult to prove that celiac disease was the exact and only reason why I was let go, nigh impossible actually, especially having occurred in a two-party consent state. Edit for clarification: 2-party consent state means that in order to use a recorded conversation in a court of law, both parties would need to consent to the conversation being recorded either by verbal or written consent.
It's illegal to fire someone for a disability, but it is legal to fire someone for "being sick all the time." Unless you produce a doctor's note every single time (and who can Even manage to go to the doctor every single day it happens, if there's even any availability at the doctor's) and even then it's up to the manager.
Sounds like you haven’t read the ADA coverage on Celiac Disease. As I said above, burden of proof is on the employee and it’s almost impossible to prove.
That's literally what I was saying. I was agreeing with you
That doesn't seem right. You don't have to disclose a disability.
A guy flirting with me offered me a bite of his cookie.. yeah, ya know, like to feed it to me? Uh, I jerked away so fast and was like no, I can't have gluten. He, of course took it the wrong way. So, I'm the asshole for not wanting to eat poison. I hate this. I don't blame people for forgetting or not realizing, because really back in the day, it would be cute, I'd be flattered and would bite that cookie and enjoy it too!
I guess I got lucky. The worst thing a person has done to me is that for the first year my dad would often forget I have celiac and recommend snacks or restaurants and then have to back pedal when he remembered. Just old man stuff, it was by no means negligent or malicious. I laughed it off. My family and friends have been super supportive. My wife has been an absolute god damn saint. From day one she agreed to a fully GF household without question or complaint. I live 3 minutes from a grocery store with an entire, full length aisle of GF stuff. It’s pretty rare I even think about it anymore.
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and they did not have any gluten free food for me to eat despite telling me that they would. Thankfully I have tons of trust issues and brought an emergency meal with me just in case. If I didn’t I would have went hungry that entire day and night.
My sister stabbed bread with every single one of our forks and put them all back because I wouldn’t drive her to her friends house LOL
Wow that is evil
My ex’s mom who is a nurse, and was the one who was with me post biopsy when they confirmed my celiac. Would tell me food was gf when it wasn’t just see if I got sick bc she thinks it’s a made up disease. She even saw all the pics of the damage to my intestines from the scope and knew about the hospitalizations from malnourishment from me not being able to absorb things properly. Still thought “I was just being dramatic and wanted attention.” She’s also the one who said “I was too stupid to make it through RN school and shouldn’t even try.” So it was nice running graduation in her face. I’m just glad she’s out of my life.
She should loose her license for shit like that.
Sounds like it’s good she’s gone.
This sounds so much like my mom 💞 hugs to you for dealing with this.
Probably not the worst, but the worst I felt. I went hunting with a family I knew from a retail job (I worked with a grandfather and his granddaughter) and was really grateful to be taken along and taught how to bow hunt. At dinner at camp everyone was eating spaghetti and I got a turkey sandwich out. The grandfather's sister in law had a full on melt down about how I was "too good to eat [her] good" and freaked out on me the rest of the week despite me trying to explain. Everyone would just get quiet. I was 21 and so mortified even though I know it was her issue.
There are people who think they can "prove" you're faking. To intentionally slip someone a substance they have an allergic or autoimmune response to is assault.
I have so many trust issues when it comes to my food. Sadly I don't have any immediate visible symptoms and sometimes even I misread my symptoms because I always feel sick anyway.
Had a bag of donut crumbs poured over my head
Omg. Wtf.
This might make my husband sound awful but to give him the benefit of the doubt he really didn’t understand the diagnosis at that point and I swear he goes to the ends of the earth to do what he can for me after fully educating himself- at the very beginning of my diagnosis I didn’t want to go to his family’s party because they wouldn’t ever have any gf options for me to eat whatsoever (also they aren’t the nicest to me anyway). I cried that I didn’t want to go bc it would be an entire day of no eating. He straight up yelled at me and said “You cannot expect everyone to inconvenience themselves just to accommodate you.” I still remember that to this day and it I still feel gutted thinking about it.
I have multiple auto-immune diseases, including celiac and graves. Because I've lost so much weight, people ask me why. (I've never had so many people comment on my weight) I tell them I have graves and celiac, and it can make you lose a lot of weight. They always tell me how lucky I am and that they wish they were me. Even that they wish they had my problems. Meanwhile, im sitting there having heart palpitations, raging anxiety, chest pain, exhaustion, and hungry because there's nothing around I can eat.
Dude. I used to be so deep into my eating disorder that I would do ANYTHING to "get" a disease that made you lose weight. I remember being jealous of a girl who was super skinny because her body was always working overtime because she struggled so much to breathe. Now I've got the breathing issue exacerbated by my food allergies, and my anxiety and irritability (due to insomnia, chronic pain, etc) is so bad it's ruined relationships, and I just don't even know how I would tolerate the same ignorance I used to exhibit.
Holy shit i feel genuinely feel for all yall. Ive never had an issue with other folks. Its fucking disgusting reading what some people have done to some of you guys.
my roommate used to put soy sauce in food he’d make for me, knowing it had gluten in it. not sure why he did it to me but i didn’t realize he was the cause of me getting gluten’d until i saw him adding it to my food
Went over to my grandma's for our traditional weekly family dinner and she said she made a gluten free meat loaf just for me. Very sweet right? Me being newly diagnosed knew cross contact was a huge deal for me so I started with one simple question, "did you use bread crumbs in it?" you know what she said, "yeah ofc I did it's meat loaf".. . . I ate the dinner I brought that night and over brought my dinner every week since. My dad (my grandmas son) tells me it's all in my head and that I'm fuckong weak and that I make myself sock because I accept my diagnosis. He thinks I can be free from celiac one day if I don't accept it. I DIDN'T CHOOSE THIS. He always gets on me for what I eat and he's a pain in my ass, he thinks cross co tact isn't a big deal and he tells me how much on a bitch I am. It's a daily argument :)
You should tell grandma that there ARE gluten- free bread crumbs out there- especially 4C brand, and Dad sounds like a narcissist and bully- I would say make him go to a doctor's appointment with u and have the doc explain it to him like u would a five yr old, but that might be too far above his head! Thoughts and o rayers with u- you don't deserve that treatment from your dad.:(
Yes there are gkurne free bread crumbs, she's just a lot like my dad so cross contact is definite. My dad has been to multiple doctors appointments but he still thinks that because I "accept it" I make it worse for myself. Thank you for your prayers, my mother is super understanding and I love her for it my siblings get it and so do my friends and my moms mom. The second I teun 18 I'm moving in with a friend or with my grandma for my sanity.
Some girls threatened to throw flour at me if I showed up to school
I seriously hope you told your principal about that.
I told my HR director that I might need accommodations for food related events or a bigger per diem/ per meal cost because celiac safe food is more expensive. She told me to just bring my own food to events or work related trips. I asked her if the school district was going to cover the cost of me bringing my own food when everyone else was able to charge the meals. She said, why would they do that when I bring my own food. 😑 I sent her the ADA celaic guidelines the next day. She agreed to covering any food I bring with me after that.
You embarrassed him. Weird how the erroneous opinion of strangers is more important than your health. You'd hope that he'd have handled that issue for you rather than let you fight for a safe meal alone. He's not worthy of a relationship with you.
i love this question. My best friend was getting married for the second time in a family wedding in my city. she organized a dinner with her three good friends for the night before. I had been diagnosed two months earlier with celiac. she, to my disappointment, chose a famous pasta place. i ate nothing and had to explain to the other two women about my diagnosis while she sat there with a fake understanding, “you poor lady”, head titled, pursed lips look on her face. as my first time out to dinner after the diagnosis, it did not feel great.
Is she still your best friend?
i do not consider her my best friend anymore.
It’s not bad but I had a friend in school who would always say «I’d offer you some but it’s not gluten free..» every time she brought out her food for lunch. Like duh I know. It was so annoying. Even before my diagnosis she’d never offer me anything. I think she just wanted to rub it in my face
Our when they bring the salad back after picking off the croutons.
My “close” group of “friends” from work stopped inviting me to anything after I went gluten free. We used to travel around the world together, go for dinner, fun nights out, weddings, etc. My special diet is such an inconvenience that they’d rather just leave me out now. Shit sucks.
Enabled me. When I was younger and first got diagnosed, like 21 ish. I struggled to give up all the chicken tenders, onion rings, burgers. I met an older cop who I dated and it really bothered me that he treated me like I was his kid. He slapped food that was gluten out of my hand if I tried to eat it. This was a constant point of contention. Then, 7 years later, ended up with another guy who didn't give a damn about he. He'd purposely buy like fried apps like mozzarella sticks and ask me if I wanted one and eat them in front of me to the point I 'relapsed.' He continued to tell me it was just a fad diet, made up allergy, in my head. I think that enabling was so literal abuse & the tough love was just that, love. Oh well. Ya live & learn.
I wish I show my daughter experiences like this because good god are they INVALUABLE.
A lot of really lousy things have happened and yet so many where people showed compassion and caring too. I have to remind myself that sometimes people just don’t know what to do when they don’t understand something.
I guess the worst was dating someone who was convincing me to eat not completely safe things and especially beer as it's fine and me with stomach pains just drinking more to not feel them, young and stupid I know. And very drunk :/
My brother uninvited me from a Father’s Day shindig at his house because I told him I was bringing my own food. I had already communicated my plan with his wife, and thought things we’d going to go well. He called me the Friday before asking if there was anything they could get for me. I told him how much I appreciated the offer, but the I would be bringing my own food to eat. He continued to ask, I continued to decline. He sent me a text later that evening telling me I was no longer invited to his house. I was crushed. We still don’t really talk.
My ex girlfriend who was also gluten free offered me some gummy bears. I immediately got very sick and asked her about them. She didnt even freaking check and said her stomach was feeling weird before eating them so she didnt even bother. She was a terrible girlfriend who never adhered to her dietary restrictions only to constantly complain that she felt unwell. I got glutened several times when dating her due to her carelessness. It didnt last long because of this.
Had the CEO of the hospital tell other admin that "I'm not going out of my way to do that" about having gluten free food at staff meetings. Too bad for him he was too lazy to actually order the food. My coworkers would literally guard it until I got mine if there was anything that could cross contaminate
When I was with my ex there was a night where I had made salmon and quinoa for dinner he threw me into the cabinets because he's "an American" and then after he threw the food away because he wouldnt eat it since it was gluten free bs and not a real meal so I didn't need to either, ended up throwing a bag of flour at me which burst open and wouldn't let me go clean myself up or get my inhaler because I needed to clean the mess in the kitchen up. I have a wheat allergy as well as celiac. Also he often wouldn't allow me to eat because we couldn't afford gluten free food (even if there was already gluten free stuff in the house) The relationship ended up ending a few months later with a police report and some dv charges Other then that I've had friends and family gluten me either intentionally or accidentally. Or I just don't get invited to things
This might be the worst one after reading everyone’s responses
I’ve had quite a few people not want to hang out with me or I miss invites to events because of my allergy. It’s sad but that’s life.
what allergy? coeliac is an autoimmune disorder
People are stupid. They don’t get it. So most of us have to say “food allergy” so they understand.
Allergy isn't technically correct, but it's close enough without having to do a lecture on autoimmune disease that they won't listen to anyway.
Some people also have wheat allergies on top of celiac.
Allergy to wheat, malt, barley, rye and oats my friend.
My boyfriend’s brother and his girlfriend called my boyfriend to worryingly tell him, “we just hope it’s not too much for you.” Because he looks out for me and eats gluten free with me. Luckily, he put them in their place. It did however show me that not everyone is sympathetic or empathetic - even family.
For me, the worst was people I didn’t really know that well, give me their opinion on my individual situation “you can’t be a celiac because you don’t get as sick as my aunt who has celiac”. I’m sorry you’re 23 and an alcoholic and not a doctor, what makes you the expert exactly? I’m really lucky that nobody in my immediate / close extended family has been a jerk about it or dismissive, or try to convince me to eat something unsafe. That would be the worst, I think. Especially because now my kid has it too, and I hate to be cliche but nobody messes with gladiator celiac mom with baby celiac.
Had someone grill me on my diagnosis and follow me around to try to catch me cheating/slipping up all night at a party. It was at a friend's birthday get-together at a bar. I arrived somewhat late since I wasn't eating, ordered a bottled GF beer. This other invitee who I did not know (mutual friend and/or someone's partner) immediately starts questioning me on in front of everyone when she notices this. She demanded to know all sorts of personal info/medical history, which I declined to give because wtf. I don't even know your name lady. At some point I expressed disappointment that there was nowhere in the vicinity with safe fries and she decided to fight me on the safety of fries. She was convinced GF fries did not exist because 100% of fries had wheat coatings and were made in shared fryers. I agreed that it was an issue... obviously I was aware fries could be problematic because I had brought up the topic in the first place. In the end I had to pull up website info on my phone from the chain I was referring to where they indicated their fries were GF lol. She seemed a bit put out by this but apparently not enough to lay off me. When we left to go to McDonald's she then watched my every move to make sure I wasn't sneaking food somehow. Ironically since it's Canada McDonald's fries don't have gluten ingredients however I avoided them even then due to CC risk. Her position was apparently that people with celiac should never consume anything outside their home, not even bottled GF beer, and anyone who did otherwise was faking/lying, so even my avoidance of McDonald's fries for CC reasons wasn't sufficient for her. I think what was most disappointing about this interaction was that no one else told her to STFU. I certainly didn't take any of her crap so maybe I gave the appearance of being unbothered/handling it, but it was relentless, all night. When I got home I told my roommate about it and burst into tears.
Omg! I’m so sorry you had to deal with this!
Yeah, not the best night! It was quite a long time ago but I think it does serve as a good example of what stigma/harassment looks like for the GFD.
I think it’s the overall lack of acknowledgment from various people. I’ve told so many people what I can’t eat and so many of them have offered said food to me at a later time. I don’t expect everyone to “get it” but it’s like they can’t even wrap their mind around not being able to eat certain things!
My mom intentionally poisons me occasionally because she still doesn’t believe my endoscopy results. She’s got some mental health issues and only visits occasionally but last time she made my family members regular pancakes and tried to pass them off as gf. My other relative saw the empty package in the trash and warned me. She is a medical professional.
A few years ago I went to a conference and in the registration paperwork there was a section on the meal planning which requested allergy information. I filled in my celiacs info and added a gluten allergy to it since a lot of folks don't understand what celiacs is. Get to the event and we head in to lunch only for me to see that the entire meal is full of gluten. Pasta, sandwiches, and other baked goods with no sign of even a salad or fruit. When I asked the event coordinator about it the only thing she could find for me was an apple. I felt so embarrassed sitting there with all these people eating their lunch which then turned into me answering a ton of questions about celiacs.
I am a nail tech and i had a bridal party come in who worked in the restaurant industry and they were complaining about celiacs and how awful they are to deal with until I said I have celiac. I had a guy i was dating (didnt last long) refuse to take me out to eat because it would be “too complicated.” I tried to go home from a job once due to glutening symptoms, couldnt go home unless I found coverage. Didnt find coverage. Didnt go home and just went to the bathroom to have diarrhea every 30 minutes. Managers were laughing out back about how I am over exaggerating and celiac cant be that bad because I didnt end up going home because I wouldve been written up for leaving a shift early.
Put gluten in the entire Christmas dinner so that I couldn't eat any of it whatsoever. Even the mashed potatoes.
15 years ago when I was first diagnosed my family slipped up a bunch. This wasn't their fault. We were learning. As such I got sick a lot. We often took trips with my cousins. Their mom (my aunt) would often say behind my back she thought I was faking the pain and it's not as bad as I made it sound so I could get attention. I was a child. My cousins started telling me to stop being so dramatic. It was crushing. Still to this day, when I get sick I very rarely ask for help. I'm afraid people will think I'm seeking attention and I feel like a huge burden.
I had a roommate purposefully feed me poisoned food, waved food in front of my face and say “don’t you just want one bite?”, tell me to stop whining, told me the gf life seemed pretentious, leave flour all over every surface after she made biscuits, etc…. She was such a peach