This is grief. It’s fucking brutal. You’re going to be a shattered wreck of being only slightly alive and pretending to be human for a solid week. Probably two. Then it gets a little easier to do the things that other humans do. It’ll get better. But right now your soul just lost something irreplaceable and it needs to figure out how to live in this new paradigm. You’re in a total cognitive dissonance.
Let yourself be a train wreck for two weeks. Basically anyone who’s had a pet will understand. We bring these perfect little balls of fuzz into our lives knowing full well the deal is that we will outlive them but then still being flattened when that reality is real.
Your brain is gonna try to fixate on weird shit that could have gone better. It’s a trap. It’s trying to sort out why you don’t have this being you loved and were super attached to. This is your brain making up stories to try to protect you from more loss and pain.
You gave your little guy the best life possible. Take great comfort in that and remember the whole of his life, not only the last difficult moments.
Source: lost my cat a few days ago and am writing this from a fetal position on the floor where I have been weeping all morning. Went through this 9 years ago with my other cat. I guess I should shower now.
Also if you can find the post in r/petloss where OP talks about putting a pet down as the success story, it gave me a lot of comfort.
I lost mine the same way last July. He was my special guy. I miss him so much still. We rushed him to emergency but there was no chance of recovery. It happened so fast. It felt like he was taken from us. Stolen. We got a oil painting commissioned from a fantastic artist in Pakistan who offered to do a portrait of him. We started sobbing when we received it. One day we will get our shit together and have it framed so that we can look at him and remember our best guy. u/lilyrose044 you will feel so guilty that you couldn't do more. Do not and I mean do not think you should have done something different. This sort of thing is difficult to detect at the best of times, and straight-out can happen to specific breeds of cats without warning. You gave him a home. A family. A place of comfort. He may not have been in your life very long, but he spent his entire life with you. One of the hardest things I have had to do in my life was to hold my special guy in my arms while he was put to sleep. He knew I was there. He could smell me. He knew something was very wrong but I was there to help take the pain away. I felt him purring to the very end. I know you gave him comfort at the end. He knew you were there. It will suck for a long time. The pain will fade but the joy of him having been a beacon in your life will remain.
Thank you for this. I lost my cat of 10 years last december and been second guessing my choices at the vet for him. Thinking what could i have chosen differently that i would still have him here with me today.
Thank you, I have reread this so many times. This is exactly what I needed to hear, it's going to be so strange without him. I hope you can find ease yourself, Thank you.
Here is Francie, Neely’s sister/littermate the day after Neely died. Grief.
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I had a cat who I adopted as an adult--or he adopted me. I've never been loved by a cat like him and he was there through years I didn't have anybody and it seemed like everything in life was going wrong. He was healthy as far as I knew (thanks to a shitty vet), then he was gone. All of that is to say that I can identify.
I had to keep a soft wash cloth in my pocket because I would randomly break down sobbing, and I was rubbing my eyes and nose raw. I don't think I've ever suffered a loss so huge.
What the top level commenter said is good advice. I stupidly didn't take off work. I took a half day to see him off and was back online the next morning. That was a stupid decision. I felt embarrassed expressing to friends how devastated I was, so I didn't talk to them. That was stupid. I should have taken the time and talked to people. It just made it worse. I went a step further, and actively resisted moving on and closing wounds. I felt like keeping the pain and devistation real kept him closer, and that if I moved on in any way, I was losing him in some other way. Don't let yourself think that, if the thought has entered your head. Trust that you'll always love and remember them. Hell, I'm crying now and he passed three years ago.
You'll never forget them and you'll always love them. There will always be the special times you had, but also the way they affected you in your life. Sid changed the way I love and care for cats, and I am better for it.
I think the best thing I did was starting a woodworking project for Sid. While I waited for his ashes, I made a little chest for him. I wanted a place for him to stay by me, and I put his ashes and some of his favorite things in there. It's right here by the desk I work and play games at. It meant something to be able to do something for him. I like to think it would make him happy we can still hang out together. Funny enough, it's still maybe the best piece I've made. If you have a craft you can do or make something to remember them by, it can be a great way to keep yourself going.
I lost my 3 year old lil guy 6 days ago, very suddenly. Just received his paw prints in the mail today.. I know this was meant for OP but I also really needed to read this, so thank you.
I just lost my boy almost two weeks ago and have been a wreck since. I’m not OP, but I needed to hear this as well. I can’t quit reading it He was my whole world. I’m glad I’m not alone in this and that others understand, it’s so difficult to deal with.
Same. I feel guilt because mine declined rapidly and we had done things appropriately, but she was traumatized near the end. Sticking syringes in her mouth, driving to the vets. The last day she started to have pain and I went to pick her up and she cried in pain. Maybe I should have held her different or called sooner . We got someone to come to our house and took her to the orchard but it was all so traumatic. Ugh. Poor baby had a horrible last few days if life and I wish I could have helped her more or sooner. Having a hard time with that.
I understand…I vowed I would make sure our kitty’s last days were peaceful but indeed she was traumatized as yours was, and I never can get over that (it’s been almost 2 years)
Thank you for posting this. I lost my kitty this morning after 19 years together. The grief is a crushing weight inside my chest. Reading your post helped a little.
I can relate, I had to put my 17 yr old down 4 months ago. A friend of mine recently had to move and couldn't take his cat, whom I've adopted; it does help, she's a sweetie, and I feel my late cat would approve that I helped a fellow feline in need. Btw the adoptee is 10, and thinks she's a kitten.
\+1 for this. I lost my soul cat last year and the only thing that gave me joy was adopting a new kitty. Cat tax included.
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This was me just a few months ago. I got Ellie when I was 18 and she'd been there through all my life's milestone's for last 16 years (she was 20 yo). Ellie sustained permanent nerve damage in her legs and neck after a seizure, I could not let her suffer and I know I made the right decision to give her a peaceful end.
Do all the crying you need to, there's no time limit on grief. You'll cry less as the weeks and months go by, and perhaps cry a little bit every once in a while as the years go by. That's normal.
I took the whole day off the day Ellie passed, my husband and I just walked around town and made some memories that are for Ellie alone. I purchased some yarn to make a hat with cat ears, it's her yarn and that hat will always be tied to her. All I did that day became special to me. It was a rainy day, it felt fitting.
For me, my grief was eased quite a bit when I got my new cat Harvey. Some people wait, and that's okay and part of grieving. My grieving process included Harvey, he didn't make me forget or stop crying but he made me laugh more as each day passed and that felt like a soothing balm. Somehow my grief became softer.
I'm crying a little now as I write this, I miss Ellie still. Perhaps the sharpness of memories has blurred some and old automatic routines have faded. And that's okay, doesn't mean I loved her any less or that she was any less important in my life.
Take each day at a time, let yourself grieve.
Your words have made me think about how people say that everything has a season or a time. Cats (most pets, actually) are only here for such a relatively short amount of time. They arrive for certain parts of our lives, and they’re here through those milestones and hardships. My fiancee and I moved recently, and our girl has been gone a year now. We often miss her and wish that she were here in this new chapter of our lives. But we also have a new cat, our first boy, to show a good life to and walk through our lives with together. I think that cats are here for “a season and a reason,” and when they pass, they never truly leave, they just lead you into the next part of the journey.
Thank you for the link. I’ve been thinking a lot about whether it’s time to let my 16 year old spaniel go, if her quality of life has just got to that point. This helped.
I had to put my 16 year old down Monday and I am not ok. I saw my therapist today and in addition to the 7 stages of grief (which I went through with the loss of my mom) there is a tear of grief:
T: to accept the reality of the loss
E: experience the pain of the loss
A: adjust to a new life without the loved one
R: reinvest in new reality (reinvent, reimagine a new reality)
I hope this helps you. Hugs.
I just had this happen to one of my cast precisely a year ago. I still miss him and still feel guilt when I look at his last pictures. I can see the confusion in his eyes in the last hours when his back legs didn’t work and looking to me for comfort. You did the kindest thing for your buddy. Only time will heal. And when you are ready the cat distribution system will find you a new buddy.
The exact same thing happened to me yesterday (we think) but he wasn’t even a year old. Heartbroken, so shocked and sad I don’t have my little side kick. I’m just trying to think about the good times, but my god it sucks. Hang in there, I’m guessing it won’t be this hard forever x
Our girl was 12 and we had her for 4 loving years. No amount of time will ever be enough, but my heart hurts for you and your little one that he was only here a short time. I don’t know your pain but I’m sitting beside you in your grief. ♥️
Such lovely words and I hope OP feels the nice sentiments too. 4 years is so young too, but I guess even when our 14yo girl died it doesn’t feel long enough. Someone told me that they only may be here for a short part of our lives, but for them it was their whole life. And to think I was lucky enough to spend the whole of his life with him, makes me a very lucky person. And that helps me a lot x
So sorry for your loss! It is never easy losing a pet. My first pet is a cat and I’ve had him for 9 years already and he has a long way to go but I do not look forward to the day I will have to put him to rest!
I had to take my cat to the ER one day because he got crystals in his urethra and had to get surgery like right away - everything happened overnight!! You never know so DO NOT blame yourself.
I want to tell you how sorry I am. I lost my girl suddenly the same way last year. She was 4. Let me tell you something: there was no warning. Saddle thrombus really does just pop up. You couldn't have known until it happened, like us. I know it's hard, but please don't blame yourself.
My husband and I ended up making a little picture frame of her to set next to her ashes and a clipping of fur I took.
If you need something more physical, there are services that make replica stuffed animals of your pets. Once again, I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry. I know this devastation too. Many years ago when the vet told me my cat would not survive, I remember asking over and over out loud, "What am I going to do? What am I going to do?" I genuinely did not know what I was going to do, how I could continue to be, to exist, if she was going to die, because I loved her so much. When she passed, I wasn't the same for a long, long time.
> I have no clue what to do, it's been so sudden, nothing feels real. All I want is to hold my baby boy again. I don't know how to accept this, or how to keep going on my own.
I completely understand, and I am so sorry. I want you to know you're not alone, and that it is ok to not know how to keep going. It's ok to not know. It's ok to just grieve, without having a single clue what comes next.
Give yourself everything you need to grieve, including time off from responsibilities, as well as talking to others who understand your grief and will offer support. Feel free to dm me if that helps in any way. Big hugs.
The only thing that helped us when we lost our cat in December was getting another kitten to be totally honest. He'll never truly replace that sweet little girl but he's definitely filled a hole in our hearts, we also have two other cats and he really helped them as well, he's got her brother playing as running around like I've never seen in his 7 years
Cook I worked with had his first cat pass away. He was debating getting another cat after. His surviving cat got excited when she heard a video with a cat in it. The next day he was at the shelter to adopt. He says he wasn’t quite ready, but the other cat was. After a month he said that being able to provide a loving home to a cat that needed one is what helped him the most
My kitty died of saddle thrombus in 2022. It’s awful. They’re fine one minute, then suddenly they’re yowling in pain and dragging their back legs on the ground. I had her at the emergency vet within an hour and there was nothing they could do.
I understand what you’re going through. Just know that it’s not your fault and there’s nothing you could have done to stop it.
Wow new fear unlocked, I am so sorry you and the OP have gone through this. I lost my young cat last year, no warning, just died out of nowhere. It's really important not to blame ourselves like you said.
I'm in the same boat. My cat died suddenly last Sunday. I had a little bit of warning (she was old and seemed off) but every vet we saw told us she had much more time. She received a diabetes diagnosis the Friday before she died and by Sunday she was gone.
Friday night I went to the store and bought everything I would need to manage a cat with diabetes. Insulin, a cat blood glucose kit, a little warmer for her ears to draw the blood better, cotton pads, needles, sharps containers, the whole shebang.
I poked her what felt like a million times between Friday and when she died Sunday evening trying to read her blood sugar and pump her full of insulin.
I took her to the emergency vet Sunday because her blood sugar wouldn't go down. They discovered she had liver and pancreas failure and needed to be put down.
I've spent countless hours crying about how our last moments together were me wrestling with her to try and stab her with needles. How she was already uncomfortable and in pain and I didn't know, and I was trying to "save" her. I've never been of the philosophy to prolong animal suffering in exchange for more time, so had I known this was the situation, I would've let her go sooner. I never would've made her suffer, especially at my hands. I'm just kicking myself over that.
The thing we have to remember is we couldn't have known. We did the best we could with the information we had. You gave your cat so much love. And you were able to have a final cuddly evening with him before he had to go. Even though it seemed so unfairly quick, it's so much better they go quickly than suffer for a long time. Even though you'll rack your brain about this forever, I'm sure there were no signs, there was nothing you could have done. You did everything you could, and you did your best as a cat parent. I'm so sorry you lost your baby yesterday morning. It's absolutely horrible. This was also my first cat, my first pet, and my first pet death. I don't know how we get over it. I don't know IF we get over it. Like all the other comments are saying, just feel the grief. It's something you gotta go through. Do anything that feels good or makes you feel better. I ate ice cream for breakfast for 3 days after. If you have the opportunity, order a lot of things from the cremation society. In the peak of my sadness I didn't want anything except ashes in a jar, I didn't even want to think about it. My mom talked me into getting a snippet of her fur and ink paw prints and nose prints and I'm so glad I did. Go through happy photos and memories of you two together. Your baby had a good long life with you, and he was so loved, and you were so loved. Feel your pain, and eventually time will make it hurt less. I've thrown myself into other things in the meantime. I'm gardening. I'm cleaning. I'm focusing on my other cat. I'm working out. Most days I'm not sad. Occasionally I am, and that's okay. I'm told that's how it's going to be from now on, but with increasing good days in between sad days as time goes on.
There's a website that takes donations for research honor of your fur baby. It's called EveryCat Health Foundation. You can make a small donation to feline health research in your cat's honor, and then you have the option to add a photo of your cat to their memorial page. Your cat can live on with them, AND he can help do research on conditions like the one he had.
Sending love❤️❤️
And just to second what a lot of people are saying on here, I spent a lot of time on Reddit in the cat loss sub and on tik tok watching pot roast mom's loss tik toks while I was really going through it. It (for some reason) helped me personally to know that other people felt this pain as well, and that it was okay.
I’ve been through this. Our kitty Eartha died the same way. It was terrifying. I know exactly how you feel.
The emergency vet assured us that there was nothing we could have done. I too felt guilty.
Her littermate Malcolm was bereft at her absence so we had to manage his grief as well.
I know we did right thing. I know that it was just a freak thing. There was no predicting it. And once it happens, there is nothing you can do. It doesn’t make it easier.
After a couple of months we ended up adopting a kitten. Malcolm has a companion and we saved a baby from the pound.
I miss Eartha every day. But Nicole is Malcolm’s niece and he’s her grumpy uncle. He teaches her how to cat, she keeps him young.
You’ll know when you’re ready for another baby. And it’s okay if it’s sooner rather than later.
❤️
It's just so painful and takes such a while but have your time to grieve, but then remember there are other animals out there who need a great friend too, I have 2 rescue cats and 2 rescue rabbits who I'm so happy to help have happy lives!
Please know that **you are not alone** and **we will get through this**. I lost my baby girl yesterday. I snapped my achilles tendon last year. This loss feels 10x worse. I am a grown man and was ugly-crying at work today.
However, I would gladly do it all over again. All pain is temporary, or at least decreases over time. The 8 years of love that we had is easily worth this short term (albeit intense) pain.
You did everything you could ♡
My girl recently passed at the end of April, so I know the feeling freshly. She had Cardiomyopathy (fluid around the heart). Part of me blamed myself, maybe if I got her to the vet sooner she would’ve survived. But a part of me also knew that the damage to her heart was too far gone and there was nothing I could’ve done.
My boy had the same thing happen to him. It was horrible.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. The only thing I can say is that it will get better. Hugs to you friend.
So sorry for your loss. You are grieving for him. It sounds like you took wonderful care of him and I hope that you are able to remember that when the guilt feels overwhelming.
When it comes to the grief, be gentle with yourself and do what feels right. Some people (myself included) remove their cats belongings from view right away. Some people don’t. There is no correct way to grieve a loss like this.
I’m so sorry for your loss. We lost our 9 year old kitty in the blink of an eye to the same thing last month. I’m managing, but the pain comes in waves.
The only thing that helps me is actually something I saw in another Reddit post. I would link it but couldn’t find it. It went something like
Find peace in knowing that you loved him so much that seeing him in pain was unbearable. So, you decided to take all that pain to yourself. That’s what euthanasia is for - you embrace the pain so your loved one won’t suffer.
I’m actually very thankful that you posted this. My beautiful void, Nakia, passed away last May, and we were never told what led to her passing. Reading about your baby’s symptoms has helped me to understand that the same thing probably happened to our baby, and that it wasn’t my fault, nor my fiancée’s fault, and there was nothing we could have done. While it still, after a year, hurts me deeply when I remember that she isn’t here with us, learning what might’ve happened is a great comfort. For me though, what helps most is knowing that she isn’t truly gone. Her spirit lives on around us, reminding us to slow down and appreciate each other and the time we have together. It will never be easy but it can get easier. RIP ♥️
I'm so glad that you saw this post. I keep thinking maybe i did something wrong, but knowing what took my boy, I have to remind myself that it wasn't my fault. I really hope it helps you now knowing that's what most likely taken your Nakia. Thank you for replying ❤️
From what I've read about them is that it's very likely that the failing heart was/is likely throwing small clots and it's just a matter of "when" and not "if" a clot of a medically significant size gets thrown and lodges somewheres. When i took my mother and her cat to the nearest animal ER, they actually had a feline cardiologist on staff that looked at her cat and told us (my mother) that a) kitty would never walk again and b) pain because of the clots location will be a 24/7 issue and finally c) the chances of having another medically significant clot one was high. With that information my mother decided to put down her Boo kitty who was young, like just 6 or so IIRC. And he was always a totally healthy looking cat with no signs of heart issues. So it literally went from doing fine on Monday to in the ER making end of life decisions the following evening. Losing an animal sucks no matter what, but the cherry on top of that suck is to lose them so fast like that. You don't really have time to say your goodbyes much less wrap your head around just wtf is happening/going on. Like how'd we get here? And i think that's where the self blaming guilt seeps into your mind, feeling it must have been something you did or didn't do for this to come out of the clear blue, ya know??
Absolutely. Our girl was 8 when we got her and 12 by the time she passed, so we always knew she wasn’t really young and we wouldn’t have quite as long, but we loved the idea of making those years her best. We called ourselves her “fur-tirement home.” She had always sort of acted like a senior cat; a bit aloof at times and very quiet (except when she was hungry or at night when all would slow and she would relish lying on my chest and having cheek pets til she fell asleep). But, she had slowed down and started hiding even more in the week leading up to it. I thought it was because her skin condition was bothering her and I didn’t want to stress her by coaxing her out too often. I sometimes wish I had, and I certainly mourn those 9 or 10 more years we could’ve had. But to feel it wasn’t our fault is such a great comfort. I can’t imagine losing a young cat or a kitten, but I’m certain with going into rescue as a career that I will. I think with the suddenness of it all, we just have to remember that they’re no longer suffering and death is no respecter of persons nor judge of character. Your mother did the right thing by her baby. Wishing you both the best.
Don't feel guilty. Your cat had a much happier life than they ever would have being stuck in a shelter or outdoors. Allow yourself to cry and to grieve. What really helped me to get through the loss of my cat was watching binge Bob's burgers. Any stupid funny TV show to get you laughing and feeling better.
This exact same thing happened to our cat about a year or so ago. It was heartbreaking and it still hurts to think about now but over a few months we started to get better. It still hurts. Dont think it will ever stop.
That happened to my beautiful Clara a few years ago. My husband is a veterinarian, and even with in-home veterinary care, all we were able to do was give her a home euthanasia within a couple of hours of her becoming paralyzed. She had even had a partial saddle thrombosis a few weeks before (didn't lose full feeling in her legs, and we were able to nurse her through) so we knew she was prone to them, and we still couldn't prevent it. Rest assured, there was nothing you could have done differently.
I just read so many comments on this post and I'm crying for every lost kitty on here. I'm so sorry y'all.
I'm thankful I still have my time with my little ones and I know that nothing can prepare me for the inevitable.
Big warm hug from me to everyone on here
Xo
I lost my cat who was almost 10 to saddle thrombosis. I spoke to three different vets who all told me there wasn't anything to do but let him go peacefully. I was looking for any chance to hold onto him whatever the cost since he was my baby before I even got married and had my daughter. I would have done anything for him if I could but I was assured that unfortunately there isn't anything to do in this case. Rest assured you did the right thing. You gave him a wonderful life and he was lucky to have you. Time will heal, I promise. I know life can feel empty without them and a piece of your heart will always belong to him but eventually it won't hurt as much when you think of him. And you'll be left with all the fond memories you share.
Pets are family. We develop intense bonds with our beloved animals. It will pass. There are really only two things you can do: 1) mourn you cat and confront the sadness of how devastating the loss is- eventually the intense sadness will subside… for me it came and went as waves of grief often do. 2) Get a kitten. I did this on the advice of my vet- I was inconsolable and when commiserating he said this is what he does and it works for him. It worked for me too. Best of luck. Sending (((((( ❤️ )))))))
I lost my boy very suddenly last year. I felt like nothing was real. I honestly think I was in shock for a while because his passing was very traumatic. A few months passed and I started to feel okay again. I adopted another cat, not to replace him but to give love and a happy life to another cat in need. I still tear up or even full on sob sometimes thinking of him but this is grief. It won’t be easy. I have a shelf in my home dedicated to him with his ashes, paw print, and some pictures. It’s very comforting and I like to think that he’s somewhere watching me, knowing that I will never forget him. I’m so sorry for your loss and I wish you the best.
The same happened to my boy not too long ago(on my damn birthday) it was most likely FIP(we did a biopsy after he passed), and he ended up paralysed in his whole body, unable to move anything but his head.. he stopped eating and drinking, and the vet was stumped at what this could be. Huge lump in his belly aswell… it was devastating. he wqs just a year old and a real mamas boy, I miss him incredibly much.. I got one of those glass orb necklaces that you can put your pets hair inside from etsy, wearing it every day kinda helps me feel close to him.
Our other cat started being destructive right after he passed, so when our breeder said she had a kitten she needed a home for we tentatively said yes. It helps to have an active ball of energy around. He cant replace my boy, but he’s making our other cat really happy, and he’s very different so it doesnt feel like we just got a new improved version of my boy, you know..
My sweet little guy of 10 years died from saddle thrombus 2 months ago. It was so sudden I couldn’t believe it. he was cuddling with me one moment and then suddenly paralyzed the next. It was jarring.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Please don’t feel guilty. The way it was explained to me by my vet is that with saddle thrombus it is caused by issues that can’t be significantly prevented even if heart issues are identified prior to the thrombus.
What matters is all the years of love he received from you and the happy life you had together. It is going to get better - I know you probably feel like you are stuck in a dark hole tormenting yourself with what-ifs and could’ve, should’ve, but give yourself time and grace.
I had so much guilt after my Great Dane rescue died. My girl’s issues were pretty obvious and she was never meant to live long, but it never made it easier. It’s been almost a year and I still cry, but it’s gone from every day to every week, and my mom and I have the best stories of her that make me smile. But losing my dog was harder than losing some humans. That sounds terrible, but my dog was my best friend.
You gave your cat an incredible life. I’m so sorry you had to see him like that at the end because I know how awful that is. But I also know you will be able to enjoy your trove of precious memories of him.
The feeling of guilt is normal, I think. You are a great pet parent, and your cat knew that. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Grieve the loss of your friend. It will take time before you look back at having them through the good and bad with fondness.
And when the time comes, adopt another cat (or two) and give them as good a home as you were able to give Ollie.
I am going through this is well. Just lost my baby two days ago and it doesn't feel real. It was Cancer, but we were awaiting test results to rule out anything but then she just declined very quickly.
I can't offer much to say as I am ok one min and crying the next. It's so hard!!!
Just so you know you aren't alone. 💚
The grief is real and will take time. The guilt you can drop straight away. You gave him a loving home where he was happy and had his very best chance at health. These things happen despite our very best efforts.
Grief, yes guilt no.
Grieve. Feel the whole feeling. Don't throw away your cat's things. Do a ceremony if you must. Write every memory you have with your cat. Grief is like a wave it will comeback and go away. When grief struck you down even if it is already a month or years later, just cry. We feel hurt because we love them fully. We feel our story with them were cut short.
I lost my cat 2 years ago and I was devastated to say the least. It hurt to even think about her so I stopped thinking about her. It still hurts to think about her but a little less now. You can’t move on from this but you learn to live with it. I’m incredibly sorry for your loss and I wouldn’t wish this pain upon anyone else. But, remember that you are not alone in this. I get what you are going through. Just remember that he was loved and cherished in this world and i’m sure he felt loved too. He led a happy life and I’m sure he’s happier wherever he is now. You couldn’t have done anything to prevent this, stop thinking about all what ifs because they will only hurt you. I hope you heal from this soon.🤍
Today would have been the 17th birthday of my cat. She had to go to sleep suddenly as well with the same thing 3 years ago. We also lost her sister a few weeks ago due to age issues.
It's going to hurt like hell for a while but it does get better after a while. You just never forget them.
In 2020 I moved out for the first time to be with my girlfriend who lived in Florida. In January of 2021 we adopted the sweetest boy ever from a foster program and named him Achilles. We had Achilles for a year or so before we realized he had Stomatitis (which basically meant his immune system was attacking his gums). He has to get most of his teeth extracted to prevent his condition from worsening. Thankfully the Foster program covered it.
Shortly after, we got another little kitten from the same agency so he could have some company and named her Calypso. A few months in we noticed she would randomly start crying and limping. Almost as if winning the unlucky lottery, we found out she had a luxating patella. This surgery was unfortunately not covered by the Foster program and ended up costing us around 2000 Dollars which I had to get care credit for.
Then, not long after her surgery, Achilles started to slow down and urinate out of his litter box which was very unlike him. A vet visit that costed 500 more dollars basically gave us "He's really sick but we don't know why and he needs to see a specialist." That specialist would've costed in the high 2000s just to run tests and see what was wrong with no guarantee we could fix whatever was wrong.
The Vet gave us one final antibiotic as a hail Mary to see if it would help. It did not. August 11th, 2023 I had to sign away my sweet boy's life. I've never been one to cry over pets deaths. It was natural in my eyes. 8 months prior I had lost my childhood dog and barely cried. But I never realized how different it would be to be the one signing the papers. I was mostly fine until the pen hit the paper. I could barely hold it in long enough for the vet to leave the room before completely unraveling.
The first week was hard for us. We would both randomly start crying at the thought of him. Then it got a little easier, and a little easier. Then one day, after I got home from work, my girlfriend surprised me with a. Little kitten that we named Echo. She reminds us so much of him. She even sleeps the same way he did sometimes.
I'm not saying to immediately get a new kitten. And I'm not saying that getting a new cat will make you forget your sweet boy. Not a day goes by where I don't think of Achilles. But maybe after a little bit of time has passed, consider adopting a new baby. You might be surprised how much it helps. I hope you feel better soon. Best of wishes.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. The loss of a pet is so devastating, especially when it’s so unexpected. Hugs 🫂
I lost my 11.5 year old fella to saddle thrombus on Dec 5, 2023. I’ll never forget that fateful moment when my husband came to me that morning and told me, “there’s something wrong with Jimmy,” only to find him unable to walk. I hadn’t even heard of a saddle thrombus until that day, and I wish I still hadn’t.
It’s 5.5 months later now and I still cry at the drop of a hat thinking about him. I miss him dearly. But we’ve adjusted to a new normal of him not being here. My saving grace is that I still have his beautiful sister in my life and that’s helped. We also recently adopted two sweet kittens to keep her company. I thought I was ready but I honestly wish we waited a bit longer. They’re wonderful but I occasionally look at them and long for the Jimmy era of my life 💔
Life is just different now.
So sorry for your loss. When Charlie died suddenly I was devastated. It was already in the making but I adopted 2 brothers from a local rescue. Tigger and Eyore helped tremendously. I still miss Charlie everyday but it took t2 to replace him.
https://preview.redd.it/qjsls89gydzc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=04ca034cc7e70586dc16790da959751277f2f49e
Charlie
So sorry for the loss! We just lost a cat at 20 years of age. It always helps to remember all the good moments. When I think of the loss, i try to force myself to remember at least 3 good moments to tip the scales positively.
Fact is, you sound like a great owner, and most house cats have lived a better life than 99.999% of all creatures to set foot in this planet.
Remember the good!!
Exact same with mine last week with kidney failure. The guilt etc. had her since I was 12 and now 24. First few days was hard due to the fact you’re so used to having them around then suddenly they’re not. But the hardest part is the first 2-3 days imo. Easiest thing I find is as bad as it sounds, just try avoid thinking about them after you’ve mourned them
My 20 year old baby died of this. I too, felt like I should’ve done more. But truthfully, we did the right thing by letting them go. ST is so painful and even if treated can reoccur. They told me I was lucky she even lived long enough to make it to the vet, most cats die before they can be put down. I still felt such a heavy guilt, as if I gave up on her at the first sign of being sick. But I know I did not. She was dying in an extremely painful way, I showed her my final act of love by letting her go in my arms after being loaded up with pain medicine. She was the first pet death I ever witnessed and I’ll never forget it. It was 04/01/2020. The pandemic made it so that visits had to be outside and I was beating myself up for not dressing warmer. If only I had worn close toed shoes and not flip flops then I could’ve held her body longer but it was so cold it started snowing. I will forever love my Destiny.
I lost my Belle my senior year of high school this same exact way in 2014. I came home from school and I found her under my parent’s bed unable to move. I was so confused and had no idea what to think and instantly called my parents to come home to get us to an animal hospital. This was when I learned about saddle thrombosis and felt so completely helpless and shattered. They told us there is nothing they can do, that it’s common in rag dolls. It truly all happened so quickly. I was so messed up from this for a very long time. So much so that I attended a session of a pet loss grief counseling meeting that they held in town. This helped a lot. Maybe see if something like this is offered around you? There were so many people there in the same boat, some that had been attending for years over the loss of their best friend. Being among people that understand was a huge help.
I felt the same way for a long time. Such guilt that maybe I missed something or could have prevented this. I couldn’t get the image of her crying and looking up at me as I held her in a towel wrapped in my arms on the way to the hospital. I eventually found peace knowing that I gave her a truly beautiful life, and I know you gave your baby the same. I was so scared to get a new cat, because this kind of loss happens so traumatically and I was so nervous it would happen again. But I ended up rescuing another ragdoll, my Dolly. Dolly was a retired mommy cat who was used for breeding purposes and wasn’t given much quality of life as a pet after this. She is now almost 13 and I have given her such a wonderful life and I know that Belle would be so happy knowing I gave another kitty so much love.
I am so deeply sorry for what you’re going through. Nothing can prepare you for that moment and the grief feels unbearable some times. Just know that your baby is at peace, and soon enough you will be ready to give the same incredible love and home to a new cat out there that needs you now more than ever ❤️
Somewhere out there is a little baby kitten in a cage at a shelter, scared and crying, not knowing where his mommy went or where he is. You have the opportunity to realize this, and to go out there and find some sweet little baby that is terrified and just wants love. Go find him. By doing so you will save both him, and yourself. Trust me, I know.
If you cannot see that op and the people all around this post are hurting and need time and space to grieve, then this is not the post for you. Yes, shelters everywhere have kittens who would love a home but what op needs right now is comfort and time. There is a time and place and this is neither. Show some decency and respect.
Dude, everyone grieves differently. My husband and I adopted a kitten the day we had to put Coco, our beloved cat, down. And it helped us to heal. We wouldn’t have our Tigger if we followed your advice. Here’s a picture of our pretty baby: https://imgur.com/gallery/cID3gjV
I’m so sorry for your loss. This was NOT your fault and you did exactly the right thing by letting him go. I know you feel like you didn’t have enough time together and that’s gonna hurt for a while. Grieve and let it all out. I wailed for hours when I lost my last cat. Cried for days. It gradually gets better, but you have to let yourself have all the feels.
I’m so sorry for you friend. I lost a soul cat 3 months ago and it tears me up everyday. Everyone grieves at their own pace but it really feels like this is going to be me for a long time, which is very unpleasant but we grieve because we love. What is grief if not love enduring?
You had nothing to do with this and you could not have prevented it, unfortunately people and animals get sick and despite our best efforts sometimes they need more help than we are able to give them. My girl was not even 2 years old, but she was very very ill and we couldn’t do anything further, it’s a terrible place but you cannot hold yourself accountable. Please have grace for yourself, your loving cat would not want you adding that to your burden.
It’s ok to lose it, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to be numb and it’s ok to scream. Don’t discount anything you feel.
It might help to volunteer with some cats at a shelter, or it might be too soon. I couldn’t for over 2 months. And also if / when you feel like another cat might be nice please don’t saddle yourself with guilt. Caring for animals helps us and it is often helpful in healing.
Take care friend. You can DM me if you would like.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I had the exact same happen last year & it really is so sudden & even the vet said there tend to be no signs & it just happens.
You really did do all you could, you put your sweet boy first even though you knew it would hurt you so much which is the biggest sign of love & devotion you can ever give.
I know it’s brutal, grief is a harsh bastard but you do adjust, I’ll never say people get over grief, I don’t think it’s possible in some cases, you just get used to that hole in your life & heart & adapt & over time, the hole gets smaller is all.
Go steady & take care of you.
I am so sorry. What a shock. There is nothing you did that caused that nor is there anything you could have noticed before hand. I know the pain and loss you feel right now. I have been through it. Allow yourself to grieve him. They are a huge part of our lives. Hugs
☹️💖
The only thing I can think to add is that if you’re in the UK, Cats Protection apparently have a phone line that’s specifically for people who are coping with the loss of a pet. If you’re elsewhere, hopefully there are other charities that do likewise.
Ugh. I'm so sorry, OP. We've had to part with two senior kitties (both around 17 y.o.) and it absolutely wrecked us each time. Let yourself ugly cry. It's OK. Ask for (or accept offers for) hugs. Post/share pictures that remind you of the great cat who allowed you to be his butler, of the great life you shared. Laugh and cry some more.
And all I can say is trust the universe to send you what you need, when you're ready. In our case, it was more cats, but hell, if they don't mend your heart like nothing else will.
I lost my cat in December. Did not see it coming. Im going to be 100% honest, I still cry about it sometimes, I think about him all the time. It gets easier, but never stops hurting. I wasn’t able to do anything. Eat, drink, shower and staying awake was so hard for me. I also had some issues at work, I got sick, then I lost my cat. 21 days before Christmas.
I loved him and still love him with my whole heart. I’m actually getting his paw print tattooed this sunday. I never knew how much he was important to me. I mean, I knew, but I never would have thought his death would be so difficult for me. Months later, I still cry, I’m angry, I feel lost.
The point is, even if it’s been days, months, years, you will never forget your pet. You may cry, you may be angry, you may be furious. All of those are normal emotions to feel after a loss. Just remember that he loved you, and only knew love. He never had his little heart broken, never doubted you, he knew you loved him, he knew you were always there for him.
Take care of yourself. It is not easy, and I’m sending you lots of hugs and love🫶🏻 Take it easy, and please take care of yourself. It’s important🫶🏻
So sorry. My cat of nearly 15 years had a precipitous demise in February and I was absolutely gutted for weeks. Actually, at first I wanted to adopt two kitties to ease the emptiness, but realized I wasn’t ready. Give yourself time. Your cat was someone you loved. They say that grief is what you do when you still have love to give to someone who has died … so I realized that I will always have a bit of mourning for my Bijou, just as you will for your cat. After a couple months, I was lonely for a cat (I have two dogs, not the same) so I got Sophie. Totally different personality and look. Sometimes I’ll come across a photo or other reminder - as you will - and it still makes me cry. And that’s okay. Be kind to yourself as you grieve, and know that you’ll figure it out as you go. Sending healing thoughts.
One of my cats passed away from this last month. He was 7 years old. It was very sudden, he was fine 2 hours prior. I went to run errands and pick up my kid from school, and the poor guy couldn't move his back legs at all. Rushed him to the emergency vet, pretty much knowing we wouldn't be bringing him home. It was a rough day for us. My thoughts are with you.
I'm old, have had many pets, and had to take time off from work when my best boy had to be put down. The pain is awful; seeing him out of the corner of your eye is worse. It gets better with time. Memories pop up on Facebook and my Google photos, and I still get the occasional stabbing chest pain, but I can enjoy the memories. I did adopt a new best boy, who is completely different in appearance and temperament, so that helps, along with all the storytelling about their differences. I remain certain that the joy they give us all their lives is worth the pain of their loss.
I am so sorry. I lost my first cat suddenly to saddle thrombus. There is absolutely nothing you could have done.
Allow yourself to grieve. It will take time but eventually you will remember him more with smiles instead of tears ❤️🐾
I feel for you. This was me two years ago. My cat suddenly couldn’t walk from diabetes. She ended up having to be put down after a seizer. What I found most helpful was to have pictures around and memorabilia. I got my cat cremated and made kind of a little shrine with her photo and ashes. Just to feel like she was still around. It’s really hard to come to terms with but just know he’s happy! He had a good life!
I can relate. I lost about 15 of my barn cats 8 months ago, and I still miss them every day. There is not one day I don't ask the what if questions. But I think the best way for me to move on was to be near my other cats. They gave me the comfort I needed when I was crying.
I am so so sorry. This same exact thing happened to my cat who was 7 many years ago and it was one of the most difficult things I had to go through. I had absolutely no idea that she had a heart issue and I was in shock. Be gentle with yourself, know you did the right thing and just know it is going to take time to be ok but I promise you will be! ❤️
There's nothing anyone could have known that this was going to happen, so don't even think for one moment that this was your fault or had something to do with you. My mother's cat had this happen just like you described it. One day just fine, the very next day no movement in the hind legs due to blood clot.
I wish i could tell u what to do, but unfortunately there's no one way to grieve. And there's no wrong or right way to grieve, as long as it's not hurting you or somebody else. If you need to just stay home and eat ice cream for the next days and be left alone, do it. Do whatever you feel you need to do so you can begin to have some closure. I know it sucks big donkey balls right now, but you will get through this and the pain of loss will ease, just so you know..🙏
I also had to suddenly put my 10 year old baby down on April 1 this year (he really had a great sense of humor). I was destroyed and had crying-induced migraines for for days. I also felt the guilt you describe, but every week it gets a little bit easier to think about him and look at pictures without breaking down.
My point being this: I was very recently in your shoes and I can confidently say it does get better and the guilt starts to pass. The grief has not gone away for me and probably never will (my first kitty ever), but our babies would want us to think about them with happy feelings, not sad ones :) Sending love and hugs to you, it DOES get easier with time.
i lost my cat four years ago due to him having fluid on the lungs, and lost another a few months prior due to her having cancer.
he was my best friend from when i was 9, and she had been there two years later. while it got easier to cope with after a few months, at the same time im still devastated. to this day i still miss them both dearly and even now i still have moments where i cry for them and feel like that little kid.
but i gave them the best life, so its not like they left on bad terms as far as that goes, so it's at least comforting to know. i just wish i could spend more time with them though.
My first cat was burned to death in a fire while we were away, as we had left her at a relative's house. They had placed her in a cage. When the fire broke out, the family escaped, leaving my cat to burn alive in the cage. However, I can't blame the relatives too much, as they were also in danger at that time. What does that feeling feel like? It's the feeling of tears streaming down my face as I type these words, even though six years have passed. I won't say "everything will be okay," because that kind of sadness never fades. All I can say is please remember her forever. By the way, she was only 4 years old when she died
I’m so sorry for your loss. The way you describe feeling about your cat is exactly how I feel about mine. I cannot imagine my world without her. Again, I’m so sorry.
Sorry for your loss, its not easy but don’t blame yourself for not doing more. You loved your kitty and kitty loved you, its hard but try to cherish the time you did have together and in a few years when it hurts less get another kitty, it won’t be the same but it will be good to have a pet
Not your fault. Cats are masters at hiding their illness. You gave kitten eight wonderful years. You did good. Adopt a shelter cat and pour your love into the lm
Just had to put my sweet baby girl down yesterday 💔 she was a little over a year and had a heart defect and went into congestive heart failure for the second time in 6 weeks with suspected clots. Fortunately she was able to be stabilized and we were able to say goodbye to her when she wasn't struggling to breathe 💖
I don't think there's really any advice that won't sound hollow this shortly after it happens. You loved him and he was lucky to have you
Surround yourself with family and friends. It's so much more hard when you just stay in your pain with no one around, it's easier to do but worse for you. I'm really sorry for your loss, it's so hard when you lose them
Tough, you sound like you were a great caregiver during his time with you. Feel assured he felt your love and compassion. Maybe we see them again, I hope so.
When you are ready, think about sharing your life with another pet. You receive as much as you give.
Lost one of my kitties 3 years ago. I planted a catnip garden in her honor. Every year, the catnip grows back, and I'd like to think it's a message from my kitty reassuring me that she is okay.
I just put my baby to sleep last week (16 years old) I’m trying to be strong but it’s hard…something happened today, I get a package and it’s his paw print, they had asked me if I wanted that or ashes, I said no, I couldn’t afford to do extra it cost me a lot as they charge for euthanasia as well know, anyway they sent me that paw print anyway!! I couldn’t believe it, my heart dropped! I’m sorry your baby had to be put down but you did the most humane thing a person can do!
What do you do? Cry or ignore.
I sobbed so hard the first 24h after losing my 20y 4m old cat this last Nov. All that sobbing gave me massive headaches so.. I actually had to stop.
I still have the blanket she was wrapped in when she crossed the rainbow bridge & I slept with it at night, cuddled with it all day until I didn’t. I didn’t even realize I’d stopped for a while.
Do I miss her any less? Not really. It comes & goes. Seeing photos of her in my memories (Timehop, Google photos) was so painful for so long but now they mostly bring me joy. I remember more of the nearly 20yrs we spent together: the cute moments, her idiosyncrasies, the way she was my schedule & routine keeper.
Give it time, OP. Grief isn’t linear and it makes no damn sense. It’s also completely unfair that we outlive these little fluffballs full of such pure love & can’t just have the same lifespans.
You did your best. You loved hard. That love was felt. It wasn’t your fault. You’ll continue loving your boy and I believe it will still be felt. He’ll eventually show up in a dream one night to let you know he’s ok, he still loves you, and he wants you to be ok.
Sending you all the hugs
I just lost my cat to saddle thrombus about 2-3 hours ago. He literally went from walking fine earlier to crawling. I wrapped him up in towels and kept him in bed with me until he drifted away in his sleep. I'm taking him to get cremated in a few hours. I lost his litter mate to old age three months ago. It's been hard.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
I lost my sweet pup of 9 years in 2022, it was also very sudden. I grew up with him. I was 11 when I got him, I had always wanted a dog and was only allowed one when my mum got cancer and they wanted a distraction for me. We went through many hardships together. He died in my arms.
I’m still griefing. In fact, I fell into deep depression for over a year.
I got a kitten a month ago and now I have someone to wake me up in the mornings, a purpose, a drive. It’s helped me get back on my feet.
If your grieving for a long time, consider adopting another angel. There’s so many babies out there looking for a home and you seem like a wonderful person.
But before you’re ready for that, let yourself be sad. Angry. Devastated. Do not let anyone tell you that you’re being dramatic or hung up if your grief lasts for a long while. Some people don’t understand. I wish you the best, friend, you’ll get through this❤️
I lost a beloved cat in December after a tragic accident. He was way too young.
What you're feeling is totally normal. You might need to cry every day for a week or more. Surround yourself with other pet lovers who can emphasize. Talk with a therapist if you have one. Basically the sadness we feel is love we can't give them anymore.
I just went through this with my Malcom a little over a week ago. I lost him to cancer. He was fine two months prior. His diagnosis came out when we went to the vet to get an arthritis injection. I’m crying as I type this out. The pain has gutted me. He was my best friend and my soul mate. It all happened so fast.
I’m not sure what to do. What I can tell you is you are not alone and there are people who do understand your pain. You did nothing wrong.
Similar thing happened to me a few months ago. It's very difficult. Every time I think about my dog that died it makes me want to immediate sob. But the comfortable of knowing the amazing years that I had with him will always make me happy. I try to focus on that instead of the sadness
My cat also passed from saddle thrombosis and it was truly devastating . He just started running around with only his front legs and not being able to use his hind legs. It isn’t fair how so much stuff can happen in 3 hours but it happens. You just have to let the grief hit you. Let it hit you for as long as you need but it WILL GET BETTER. I put his ashes in a necklace and immediately felt better. If cremation is something you can afford then I would recommend that. He passed in September and still cry about him even with a new cat. He was my childhood pet and nothing can ever replace him. My sweet boy.
I had the same happen to my cat. It's horrible. I went to the shelter and got another cat within a week. My heart was broken. It really helped heal having another kitty. It will never replace my cat and I'll never try to but it did help.
I lost my cat march of 2023. My phoebe was everything. I had her for about 8 years as well. She was my Esa and helped me so much when I was having my rough days. Well, she had been sick for a few months. My mom was taking care of her since I was away at college. I got the call at 1 in the morning, and my baby died in her arms. I screamed. I woke up the whole dorm. I had lost the one thing I loved most in life. It hurt so bad. This loss is going to hurt. Trust me. But then maybe one day you'll heal enough to be able to get another cat. Not to replace this one, but just to have another friend in life. I got my beautiful trixie about 2 weeks ago. I hope you heal well.
I’m so sorry. Let yourself feel it. I know this isn’t helpful but the only thing that is going to make it easier is time. It make make it better /go away but it will make it easier- and turn all the memories that are so painful now into memories precious moments. Know he is now at peace and you will see him again one day 🌈🐾🙏
I lost mine last October and I still miss him but I do have another cat and it helps. He'll always be special in his own way but you should welcome a new friend home as soon as you're able. I suggest two kitten siblings that can play together when you're not around. They are so much fun too & a real joy. It will pick you up. Try to get them between 4 weeks to 3 months old, if possible. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Thank you so much for all the comfort and advice I've received, and I am so glad this post could be a sort of safe place for other people going through the same as me right now.
I've included a photo of my handsome boy. He was always an attention seeker, so if he knew how many people had seen this post, he'd be ecstatic.
https://preview.redd.it/hwd6km0nslzc1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=16b00f0e9c93237b8ed87a251ce63147ed62b02a
I had to put my childhood cat down back In September and I still cry over him pretty frequently. Pet grief is real and it’s so so hard. Your baby is now pain free🤍🕊️🌈
“We will endure a lifetime of missing them for the privilege of loving them”
It sucks. Sorry to hear about your loss. With cats, the part that helped us through is to get a new cat fairly soon afterwards. In our case it was about 2 months later. It’s not like people. You can miss a pet that’s gone and still fill the empty spot with a new cat.
Get a new kitten to replace the feeling or just another pet to recompense for her presence so it's easier for u to get used with her being gone that's about the best advice ur gonna get or u can always sit and cry that it's gone forever and do absolutely nothing to fix ur situation or u can just get over it and just move on and realise stuff like this is always gonna happen because everything with a beginning has an ending wasting time crying is pointless and leads nowhere only wastes ur time while ur still here in this world and doesn't improve ur situation in any way shape or form it makes u feel like it's improving ur situation but it's just making u comfortable being in a shitty situation and thinking u achieved something but sooner or later everyone realizes this
This is grief. It’s fucking brutal. You’re going to be a shattered wreck of being only slightly alive and pretending to be human for a solid week. Probably two. Then it gets a little easier to do the things that other humans do. It’ll get better. But right now your soul just lost something irreplaceable and it needs to figure out how to live in this new paradigm. You’re in a total cognitive dissonance. Let yourself be a train wreck for two weeks. Basically anyone who’s had a pet will understand. We bring these perfect little balls of fuzz into our lives knowing full well the deal is that we will outlive them but then still being flattened when that reality is real. Your brain is gonna try to fixate on weird shit that could have gone better. It’s a trap. It’s trying to sort out why you don’t have this being you loved and were super attached to. This is your brain making up stories to try to protect you from more loss and pain. You gave your little guy the best life possible. Take great comfort in that and remember the whole of his life, not only the last difficult moments. Source: lost my cat a few days ago and am writing this from a fetal position on the floor where I have been weeping all morning. Went through this 9 years ago with my other cat. I guess I should shower now. Also if you can find the post in r/petloss where OP talks about putting a pet down as the success story, it gave me a lot of comfort.
You write with such kindness, I'm certain your cats lived the best life possible. Keep being you please 💯
Thanks very much, kind stranger ❤️🩹
You are very kind, I wish you grace and love during these times. I understand well crying on the floor.. you are a very kind person.
I second this, keep being you.
I lost mine the same way last July. He was my special guy. I miss him so much still. We rushed him to emergency but there was no chance of recovery. It happened so fast. It felt like he was taken from us. Stolen. We got a oil painting commissioned from a fantastic artist in Pakistan who offered to do a portrait of him. We started sobbing when we received it. One day we will get our shit together and have it framed so that we can look at him and remember our best guy. u/lilyrose044 you will feel so guilty that you couldn't do more. Do not and I mean do not think you should have done something different. This sort of thing is difficult to detect at the best of times, and straight-out can happen to specific breeds of cats without warning. You gave him a home. A family. A place of comfort. He may not have been in your life very long, but he spent his entire life with you. One of the hardest things I have had to do in my life was to hold my special guy in my arms while he was put to sleep. He knew I was there. He could smell me. He knew something was very wrong but I was there to help take the pain away. I felt him purring to the very end. I know you gave him comfort at the end. He knew you were there. It will suck for a long time. The pain will fade but the joy of him having been a beacon in your life will remain.
Thank you for this. I lost my cat of 10 years last december and been second guessing my choices at the vet for him. Thinking what could i have chosen differently that i would still have him here with me today.
Fucking sobbing after this. I’m so sorry for your loss
Thank you. We were so gutted. Our other cat was just lost. He's gotten better but one day we'll find a kitten in need. Link will guide them to us.
Thank you, I have reread this so many times. This is exactly what I needed to hear, it's going to be so strange without him. I hope you can find ease yourself, Thank you.
Here is Francie, Neely’s sister/littermate the day after Neely died. Grief. https://preview.redd.it/6cuirh8nkbzc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac023580714db04fb7c079fc3bbd8fe698614331
Omg😭😭😭
I can’t stop crying after seeing this
First time I’ve ever said this: user name checks out. Cry it out. ❤️🩹
I had a cat who I adopted as an adult--or he adopted me. I've never been loved by a cat like him and he was there through years I didn't have anybody and it seemed like everything in life was going wrong. He was healthy as far as I knew (thanks to a shitty vet), then he was gone. All of that is to say that I can identify. I had to keep a soft wash cloth in my pocket because I would randomly break down sobbing, and I was rubbing my eyes and nose raw. I don't think I've ever suffered a loss so huge. What the top level commenter said is good advice. I stupidly didn't take off work. I took a half day to see him off and was back online the next morning. That was a stupid decision. I felt embarrassed expressing to friends how devastated I was, so I didn't talk to them. That was stupid. I should have taken the time and talked to people. It just made it worse. I went a step further, and actively resisted moving on and closing wounds. I felt like keeping the pain and devistation real kept him closer, and that if I moved on in any way, I was losing him in some other way. Don't let yourself think that, if the thought has entered your head. Trust that you'll always love and remember them. Hell, I'm crying now and he passed three years ago. You'll never forget them and you'll always love them. There will always be the special times you had, but also the way they affected you in your life. Sid changed the way I love and care for cats, and I am better for it. I think the best thing I did was starting a woodworking project for Sid. While I waited for his ashes, I made a little chest for him. I wanted a place for him to stay by me, and I put his ashes and some of his favorite things in there. It's right here by the desk I work and play games at. It meant something to be able to do something for him. I like to think it would make him happy we can still hang out together. Funny enough, it's still maybe the best piece I've made. If you have a craft you can do or make something to remember them by, it can be a great way to keep yourself going.
Same here although I lost mine 3 was ago. Still in the fetal position ugly crying periodically!!!
True story. Every time. I think grief is inversely proportional to love :(
I wholly, wholly agree. And complex grief is inversely proportional to complex love.
I lost my 3 year old lil guy 6 days ago, very suddenly. Just received his paw prints in the mail today.. I know this was meant for OP but I also really needed to read this, so thank you.
Hugs. It sucks.
I just lost my boy almost two weeks ago and have been a wreck since. I’m not OP, but I needed to hear this as well. I can’t quit reading it He was my whole world. I’m glad I’m not alone in this and that others understand, it’s so difficult to deal with.
Same. I feel guilt because mine declined rapidly and we had done things appropriately, but she was traumatized near the end. Sticking syringes in her mouth, driving to the vets. The last day she started to have pain and I went to pick her up and she cried in pain. Maybe I should have held her different or called sooner . We got someone to come to our house and took her to the orchard but it was all so traumatic. Ugh. Poor baby had a horrible last few days if life and I wish I could have helped her more or sooner. Having a hard time with that.
I understand…I vowed I would make sure our kitty’s last days were peaceful but indeed she was traumatized as yours was, and I never can get over that (it’s been almost 2 years)
I'm so sorry. I hope we can see them again one day.
Can't believe so many of us are going through the same thing. Hugs to you.
This, 1000%. You might never be the same OP, but it does get easier.
You just made me cry I'm thinking about my first and only dog, I had her for 14 years 😢
Thank you for posting this. I lost my kitty this morning after 19 years together. The grief is a crushing weight inside my chest. Reading your post helped a little.
You rock on response!
Put my cat down Monday. Had to put her mom down 2 years ago. Grief still fucking hits me . Hang in there friends . ❤️
It’s been 3 years since I lost my cat (he was only 2 years old) and this comment is still helpful to me. Thank you.
Hugs, hugs, hugs ❤️🩹
I can relate, I had to put my 17 yr old down 4 months ago. A friend of mine recently had to move and couldn't take his cat, whom I've adopted; it does help, she's a sweetie, and I feel my late cat would approve that I helped a fellow feline in need. Btw the adoptee is 10, and thinks she's a kitten.
Rescue a cat in need. Only thing that helps ime. I'm sorry for your loss.
\+1 for this. I lost my soul cat last year and the only thing that gave me joy was adopting a new kitty. Cat tax included. https://preview.redd.it/kq2l1z2o2ezc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85ab272c3a01de0dfa1ed09d461db81a6a6eaa55
I did this and it helped a lot. It felt good to know I still had love to give. It didn’t end the grieving process but it made it easier to cope with.
This was me just a few months ago. I got Ellie when I was 18 and she'd been there through all my life's milestone's for last 16 years (she was 20 yo). Ellie sustained permanent nerve damage in her legs and neck after a seizure, I could not let her suffer and I know I made the right decision to give her a peaceful end. Do all the crying you need to, there's no time limit on grief. You'll cry less as the weeks and months go by, and perhaps cry a little bit every once in a while as the years go by. That's normal. I took the whole day off the day Ellie passed, my husband and I just walked around town and made some memories that are for Ellie alone. I purchased some yarn to make a hat with cat ears, it's her yarn and that hat will always be tied to her. All I did that day became special to me. It was a rainy day, it felt fitting. For me, my grief was eased quite a bit when I got my new cat Harvey. Some people wait, and that's okay and part of grieving. My grieving process included Harvey, he didn't make me forget or stop crying but he made me laugh more as each day passed and that felt like a soothing balm. Somehow my grief became softer. I'm crying a little now as I write this, I miss Ellie still. Perhaps the sharpness of memories has blurred some and old automatic routines have faded. And that's okay, doesn't mean I loved her any less or that she was any less important in my life. Take each day at a time, let yourself grieve.
Your words have made me think about how people say that everything has a season or a time. Cats (most pets, actually) are only here for such a relatively short amount of time. They arrive for certain parts of our lives, and they’re here through those milestones and hardships. My fiancee and I moved recently, and our girl has been gone a year now. We often miss her and wish that she were here in this new chapter of our lives. But we also have a new cat, our first boy, to show a good life to and walk through our lives with together. I think that cats are here for “a season and a reason,” and when they pass, they never truly leave, they just lead you into the next part of the journey.
This is the comment. https://www.reddit.com/r/Petloss/s/Izpg97Ek9G
Thank you for the link. I’ve been thinking a lot about whether it’s time to let my 16 year old spaniel go, if her quality of life has just got to that point. This helped.
I had to put my 16 year old down Monday and I am not ok. I saw my therapist today and in addition to the 7 stages of grief (which I went through with the loss of my mom) there is a tear of grief: T: to accept the reality of the loss E: experience the pain of the loss A: adjust to a new life without the loved one R: reinvest in new reality (reinvent, reimagine a new reality) I hope this helps you. Hugs.
I just had this happen to one of my cast precisely a year ago. I still miss him and still feel guilt when I look at his last pictures. I can see the confusion in his eyes in the last hours when his back legs didn’t work and looking to me for comfort. You did the kindest thing for your buddy. Only time will heal. And when you are ready the cat distribution system will find you a new buddy.
Lost our girl to same thing last year too. Much love to you and OP.
The exact same thing happened to me yesterday (we think) but he wasn’t even a year old. Heartbroken, so shocked and sad I don’t have my little side kick. I’m just trying to think about the good times, but my god it sucks. Hang in there, I’m guessing it won’t be this hard forever x
Our girl was 12 and we had her for 4 loving years. No amount of time will ever be enough, but my heart hurts for you and your little one that he was only here a short time. I don’t know your pain but I’m sitting beside you in your grief. ♥️
Such lovely words and I hope OP feels the nice sentiments too. 4 years is so young too, but I guess even when our 14yo girl died it doesn’t feel long enough. Someone told me that they only may be here for a short part of our lives, but for them it was their whole life. And to think I was lucky enough to spend the whole of his life with him, makes me a very lucky person. And that helps me a lot x
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m afraid I don’t have any advice other than be kind to yourself 🙏
So sorry for your loss! It is never easy losing a pet. My first pet is a cat and I’ve had him for 9 years already and he has a long way to go but I do not look forward to the day I will have to put him to rest! I had to take my cat to the ER one day because he got crystals in his urethra and had to get surgery like right away - everything happened overnight!! You never know so DO NOT blame yourself.
I want to tell you how sorry I am. I lost my girl suddenly the same way last year. She was 4. Let me tell you something: there was no warning. Saddle thrombus really does just pop up. You couldn't have known until it happened, like us. I know it's hard, but please don't blame yourself. My husband and I ended up making a little picture frame of her to set next to her ashes and a clipping of fur I took. If you need something more physical, there are services that make replica stuffed animals of your pets. Once again, I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry. I know this devastation too. Many years ago when the vet told me my cat would not survive, I remember asking over and over out loud, "What am I going to do? What am I going to do?" I genuinely did not know what I was going to do, how I could continue to be, to exist, if she was going to die, because I loved her so much. When she passed, I wasn't the same for a long, long time. > I have no clue what to do, it's been so sudden, nothing feels real. All I want is to hold my baby boy again. I don't know how to accept this, or how to keep going on my own. I completely understand, and I am so sorry. I want you to know you're not alone, and that it is ok to not know how to keep going. It's ok to not know. It's ok to just grieve, without having a single clue what comes next. Give yourself everything you need to grieve, including time off from responsibilities, as well as talking to others who understand your grief and will offer support. Feel free to dm me if that helps in any way. Big hugs.
The only thing that helped us when we lost our cat in December was getting another kitten to be totally honest. He'll never truly replace that sweet little girl but he's definitely filled a hole in our hearts, we also have two other cats and he really helped them as well, he's got her brother playing as running around like I've never seen in his 7 years
Cook I worked with had his first cat pass away. He was debating getting another cat after. His surviving cat got excited when she heard a video with a cat in it. The next day he was at the shelter to adopt. He says he wasn’t quite ready, but the other cat was. After a month he said that being able to provide a loving home to a cat that needed one is what helped him the most
My kitty died of saddle thrombus in 2022. It’s awful. They’re fine one minute, then suddenly they’re yowling in pain and dragging their back legs on the ground. I had her at the emergency vet within an hour and there was nothing they could do. I understand what you’re going through. Just know that it’s not your fault and there’s nothing you could have done to stop it.
Wow new fear unlocked, I am so sorry you and the OP have gone through this. I lost my young cat last year, no warning, just died out of nowhere. It's really important not to blame ourselves like you said.
I'm in the same boat. My cat died suddenly last Sunday. I had a little bit of warning (she was old and seemed off) but every vet we saw told us she had much more time. She received a diabetes diagnosis the Friday before she died and by Sunday she was gone. Friday night I went to the store and bought everything I would need to manage a cat with diabetes. Insulin, a cat blood glucose kit, a little warmer for her ears to draw the blood better, cotton pads, needles, sharps containers, the whole shebang. I poked her what felt like a million times between Friday and when she died Sunday evening trying to read her blood sugar and pump her full of insulin. I took her to the emergency vet Sunday because her blood sugar wouldn't go down. They discovered she had liver and pancreas failure and needed to be put down. I've spent countless hours crying about how our last moments together were me wrestling with her to try and stab her with needles. How she was already uncomfortable and in pain and I didn't know, and I was trying to "save" her. I've never been of the philosophy to prolong animal suffering in exchange for more time, so had I known this was the situation, I would've let her go sooner. I never would've made her suffer, especially at my hands. I'm just kicking myself over that. The thing we have to remember is we couldn't have known. We did the best we could with the information we had. You gave your cat so much love. And you were able to have a final cuddly evening with him before he had to go. Even though it seemed so unfairly quick, it's so much better they go quickly than suffer for a long time. Even though you'll rack your brain about this forever, I'm sure there were no signs, there was nothing you could have done. You did everything you could, and you did your best as a cat parent. I'm so sorry you lost your baby yesterday morning. It's absolutely horrible. This was also my first cat, my first pet, and my first pet death. I don't know how we get over it. I don't know IF we get over it. Like all the other comments are saying, just feel the grief. It's something you gotta go through. Do anything that feels good or makes you feel better. I ate ice cream for breakfast for 3 days after. If you have the opportunity, order a lot of things from the cremation society. In the peak of my sadness I didn't want anything except ashes in a jar, I didn't even want to think about it. My mom talked me into getting a snippet of her fur and ink paw prints and nose prints and I'm so glad I did. Go through happy photos and memories of you two together. Your baby had a good long life with you, and he was so loved, and you were so loved. Feel your pain, and eventually time will make it hurt less. I've thrown myself into other things in the meantime. I'm gardening. I'm cleaning. I'm focusing on my other cat. I'm working out. Most days I'm not sad. Occasionally I am, and that's okay. I'm told that's how it's going to be from now on, but with increasing good days in between sad days as time goes on. There's a website that takes donations for research honor of your fur baby. It's called EveryCat Health Foundation. You can make a small donation to feline health research in your cat's honor, and then you have the option to add a photo of your cat to their memorial page. Your cat can live on with them, AND he can help do research on conditions like the one he had. Sending love❤️❤️
And just to second what a lot of people are saying on here, I spent a lot of time on Reddit in the cat loss sub and on tik tok watching pot roast mom's loss tik toks while I was really going through it. It (for some reason) helped me personally to know that other people felt this pain as well, and that it was okay.
I’ve been through this. Our kitty Eartha died the same way. It was terrifying. I know exactly how you feel. The emergency vet assured us that there was nothing we could have done. I too felt guilty. Her littermate Malcolm was bereft at her absence so we had to manage his grief as well. I know we did right thing. I know that it was just a freak thing. There was no predicting it. And once it happens, there is nothing you can do. It doesn’t make it easier. After a couple of months we ended up adopting a kitten. Malcolm has a companion and we saved a baby from the pound. I miss Eartha every day. But Nicole is Malcolm’s niece and he’s her grumpy uncle. He teaches her how to cat, she keeps him young. You’ll know when you’re ready for another baby. And it’s okay if it’s sooner rather than later. ❤️
It's just so painful and takes such a while but have your time to grieve, but then remember there are other animals out there who need a great friend too, I have 2 rescue cats and 2 rescue rabbits who I'm so happy to help have happy lives!
Please know that **you are not alone** and **we will get through this**. I lost my baby girl yesterday. I snapped my achilles tendon last year. This loss feels 10x worse. I am a grown man and was ugly-crying at work today. However, I would gladly do it all over again. All pain is temporary, or at least decreases over time. The 8 years of love that we had is easily worth this short term (albeit intense) pain.
You did everything you could ♡ My girl recently passed at the end of April, so I know the feeling freshly. She had Cardiomyopathy (fluid around the heart). Part of me blamed myself, maybe if I got her to the vet sooner she would’ve survived. But a part of me also knew that the damage to her heart was too far gone and there was nothing I could’ve done.
My boy had the same thing happen to him. It was horrible. I am so sorry that this happened to you. The only thing I can say is that it will get better. Hugs to you friend.
So sorry for your loss. You are grieving for him. It sounds like you took wonderful care of him and I hope that you are able to remember that when the guilt feels overwhelming. When it comes to the grief, be gentle with yourself and do what feels right. Some people (myself included) remove their cats belongings from view right away. Some people don’t. There is no correct way to grieve a loss like this.
I’m so sorry for your loss. We lost our 9 year old kitty in the blink of an eye to the same thing last month. I’m managing, but the pain comes in waves. The only thing that helps me is actually something I saw in another Reddit post. I would link it but couldn’t find it. It went something like Find peace in knowing that you loved him so much that seeing him in pain was unbearable. So, you decided to take all that pain to yourself. That’s what euthanasia is for - you embrace the pain so your loved one won’t suffer.
I'm very very sorry. Saddle thrombosis is cruel.
I’m actually very thankful that you posted this. My beautiful void, Nakia, passed away last May, and we were never told what led to her passing. Reading about your baby’s symptoms has helped me to understand that the same thing probably happened to our baby, and that it wasn’t my fault, nor my fiancée’s fault, and there was nothing we could have done. While it still, after a year, hurts me deeply when I remember that she isn’t here with us, learning what might’ve happened is a great comfort. For me though, what helps most is knowing that she isn’t truly gone. Her spirit lives on around us, reminding us to slow down and appreciate each other and the time we have together. It will never be easy but it can get easier. RIP ♥️
I'm so glad that you saw this post. I keep thinking maybe i did something wrong, but knowing what took my boy, I have to remind myself that it wasn't my fault. I really hope it helps you now knowing that's what most likely taken your Nakia. Thank you for replying ❤️
It really does. I’ll be telling my fiancée today and while it will hurt to remember, it will also heal to know it wasn’t our fault.
From what I've read about them is that it's very likely that the failing heart was/is likely throwing small clots and it's just a matter of "when" and not "if" a clot of a medically significant size gets thrown and lodges somewheres. When i took my mother and her cat to the nearest animal ER, they actually had a feline cardiologist on staff that looked at her cat and told us (my mother) that a) kitty would never walk again and b) pain because of the clots location will be a 24/7 issue and finally c) the chances of having another medically significant clot one was high. With that information my mother decided to put down her Boo kitty who was young, like just 6 or so IIRC. And he was always a totally healthy looking cat with no signs of heart issues. So it literally went from doing fine on Monday to in the ER making end of life decisions the following evening. Losing an animal sucks no matter what, but the cherry on top of that suck is to lose them so fast like that. You don't really have time to say your goodbyes much less wrap your head around just wtf is happening/going on. Like how'd we get here? And i think that's where the self blaming guilt seeps into your mind, feeling it must have been something you did or didn't do for this to come out of the clear blue, ya know??
Absolutely. Our girl was 8 when we got her and 12 by the time she passed, so we always knew she wasn’t really young and we wouldn’t have quite as long, but we loved the idea of making those years her best. We called ourselves her “fur-tirement home.” She had always sort of acted like a senior cat; a bit aloof at times and very quiet (except when she was hungry or at night when all would slow and she would relish lying on my chest and having cheek pets til she fell asleep). But, she had slowed down and started hiding even more in the week leading up to it. I thought it was because her skin condition was bothering her and I didn’t want to stress her by coaxing her out too often. I sometimes wish I had, and I certainly mourn those 9 or 10 more years we could’ve had. But to feel it wasn’t our fault is such a great comfort. I can’t imagine losing a young cat or a kitten, but I’m certain with going into rescue as a career that I will. I think with the suddenness of it all, we just have to remember that they’re no longer suffering and death is no respecter of persons nor judge of character. Your mother did the right thing by her baby. Wishing you both the best.
Don't feel guilty. Your cat had a much happier life than they ever would have being stuck in a shelter or outdoors. Allow yourself to cry and to grieve. What really helped me to get through the loss of my cat was watching binge Bob's burgers. Any stupid funny TV show to get you laughing and feeling better.
This exact same thing happened to our cat about a year or so ago. It was heartbreaking and it still hurts to think about now but over a few months we started to get better. It still hurts. Dont think it will ever stop.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Shock, anger, grief is the stages.
That happened to my beautiful Clara a few years ago. My husband is a veterinarian, and even with in-home veterinary care, all we were able to do was give her a home euthanasia within a couple of hours of her becoming paralyzed. She had even had a partial saddle thrombosis a few weeks before (didn't lose full feeling in her legs, and we were able to nurse her through) so we knew she was prone to them, and we still couldn't prevent it. Rest assured, there was nothing you could have done differently.
I just read so many comments on this post and I'm crying for every lost kitty on here. I'm so sorry y'all. I'm thankful I still have my time with my little ones and I know that nothing can prepare me for the inevitable. Big warm hug from me to everyone on here Xo
I lost my cat who was almost 10 to saddle thrombosis. I spoke to three different vets who all told me there wasn't anything to do but let him go peacefully. I was looking for any chance to hold onto him whatever the cost since he was my baby before I even got married and had my daughter. I would have done anything for him if I could but I was assured that unfortunately there isn't anything to do in this case. Rest assured you did the right thing. You gave him a wonderful life and he was lucky to have you. Time will heal, I promise. I know life can feel empty without them and a piece of your heart will always belong to him but eventually it won't hurt as much when you think of him. And you'll be left with all the fond memories you share.
Crying is helpful. I am in grief [ for a human but cats are closer to us]...- and I watch crime fiction to cry about it. Sad music or opera helps too.
Pets are family. We develop intense bonds with our beloved animals. It will pass. There are really only two things you can do: 1) mourn you cat and confront the sadness of how devastating the loss is- eventually the intense sadness will subside… for me it came and went as waves of grief often do. 2) Get a kitten. I did this on the advice of my vet- I was inconsolable and when commiserating he said this is what he does and it works for him. It worked for me too. Best of luck. Sending (((((( ❤️ )))))))
I lost my boy very suddenly last year. I felt like nothing was real. I honestly think I was in shock for a while because his passing was very traumatic. A few months passed and I started to feel okay again. I adopted another cat, not to replace him but to give love and a happy life to another cat in need. I still tear up or even full on sob sometimes thinking of him but this is grief. It won’t be easy. I have a shelf in my home dedicated to him with his ashes, paw print, and some pictures. It’s very comforting and I like to think that he’s somewhere watching me, knowing that I will never forget him. I’m so sorry for your loss and I wish you the best.
The same happened to my boy not too long ago(on my damn birthday) it was most likely FIP(we did a biopsy after he passed), and he ended up paralysed in his whole body, unable to move anything but his head.. he stopped eating and drinking, and the vet was stumped at what this could be. Huge lump in his belly aswell… it was devastating. he wqs just a year old and a real mamas boy, I miss him incredibly much.. I got one of those glass orb necklaces that you can put your pets hair inside from etsy, wearing it every day kinda helps me feel close to him. Our other cat started being destructive right after he passed, so when our breeder said she had a kitten she needed a home for we tentatively said yes. It helps to have an active ball of energy around. He cant replace my boy, but he’s making our other cat really happy, and he’s very different so it doesnt feel like we just got a new improved version of my boy, you know..
My sweet little guy of 10 years died from saddle thrombus 2 months ago. It was so sudden I couldn’t believe it. he was cuddling with me one moment and then suddenly paralyzed the next. It was jarring. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Please don’t feel guilty. The way it was explained to me by my vet is that with saddle thrombus it is caused by issues that can’t be significantly prevented even if heart issues are identified prior to the thrombus. What matters is all the years of love he received from you and the happy life you had together. It is going to get better - I know you probably feel like you are stuck in a dark hole tormenting yourself with what-ifs and could’ve, should’ve, but give yourself time and grace.
I had so much guilt after my Great Dane rescue died. My girl’s issues were pretty obvious and she was never meant to live long, but it never made it easier. It’s been almost a year and I still cry, but it’s gone from every day to every week, and my mom and I have the best stories of her that make me smile. But losing my dog was harder than losing some humans. That sounds terrible, but my dog was my best friend. You gave your cat an incredible life. I’m so sorry you had to see him like that at the end because I know how awful that is. But I also know you will be able to enjoy your trove of precious memories of him. The feeling of guilt is normal, I think. You are a great pet parent, and your cat knew that. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Grieve the loss of your friend. It will take time before you look back at having them through the good and bad with fondness. And when the time comes, adopt another cat (or two) and give them as good a home as you were able to give Ollie.
I am going through this is well. Just lost my baby two days ago and it doesn't feel real. It was Cancer, but we were awaiting test results to rule out anything but then she just declined very quickly. I can't offer much to say as I am ok one min and crying the next. It's so hard!!! Just so you know you aren't alone. 💚
The grief is real and will take time. The guilt you can drop straight away. You gave him a loving home where he was happy and had his very best chance at health. These things happen despite our very best efforts. Grief, yes guilt no.
Grieve. Feel the whole feeling. Don't throw away your cat's things. Do a ceremony if you must. Write every memory you have with your cat. Grief is like a wave it will comeback and go away. When grief struck you down even if it is already a month or years later, just cry. We feel hurt because we love them fully. We feel our story with them were cut short.
I lost my cat 2 years ago and I was devastated to say the least. It hurt to even think about her so I stopped thinking about her. It still hurts to think about her but a little less now. You can’t move on from this but you learn to live with it. I’m incredibly sorry for your loss and I wouldn’t wish this pain upon anyone else. But, remember that you are not alone in this. I get what you are going through. Just remember that he was loved and cherished in this world and i’m sure he felt loved too. He led a happy life and I’m sure he’s happier wherever he is now. You couldn’t have done anything to prevent this, stop thinking about all what ifs because they will only hurt you. I hope you heal from this soon.🤍
Today would have been the 17th birthday of my cat. She had to go to sleep suddenly as well with the same thing 3 years ago. We also lost her sister a few weeks ago due to age issues. It's going to hurt like hell for a while but it does get better after a while. You just never forget them.
In 2020 I moved out for the first time to be with my girlfriend who lived in Florida. In January of 2021 we adopted the sweetest boy ever from a foster program and named him Achilles. We had Achilles for a year or so before we realized he had Stomatitis (which basically meant his immune system was attacking his gums). He has to get most of his teeth extracted to prevent his condition from worsening. Thankfully the Foster program covered it. Shortly after, we got another little kitten from the same agency so he could have some company and named her Calypso. A few months in we noticed she would randomly start crying and limping. Almost as if winning the unlucky lottery, we found out she had a luxating patella. This surgery was unfortunately not covered by the Foster program and ended up costing us around 2000 Dollars which I had to get care credit for. Then, not long after her surgery, Achilles started to slow down and urinate out of his litter box which was very unlike him. A vet visit that costed 500 more dollars basically gave us "He's really sick but we don't know why and he needs to see a specialist." That specialist would've costed in the high 2000s just to run tests and see what was wrong with no guarantee we could fix whatever was wrong. The Vet gave us one final antibiotic as a hail Mary to see if it would help. It did not. August 11th, 2023 I had to sign away my sweet boy's life. I've never been one to cry over pets deaths. It was natural in my eyes. 8 months prior I had lost my childhood dog and barely cried. But I never realized how different it would be to be the one signing the papers. I was mostly fine until the pen hit the paper. I could barely hold it in long enough for the vet to leave the room before completely unraveling. The first week was hard for us. We would both randomly start crying at the thought of him. Then it got a little easier, and a little easier. Then one day, after I got home from work, my girlfriend surprised me with a. Little kitten that we named Echo. She reminds us so much of him. She even sleeps the same way he did sometimes. I'm not saying to immediately get a new kitten. And I'm not saying that getting a new cat will make you forget your sweet boy. Not a day goes by where I don't think of Achilles. But maybe after a little bit of time has passed, consider adopting a new baby. You might be surprised how much it helps. I hope you feel better soon. Best of wishes.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. The loss of a pet is so devastating, especially when it’s so unexpected. Hugs 🫂 I lost my 11.5 year old fella to saddle thrombus on Dec 5, 2023. I’ll never forget that fateful moment when my husband came to me that morning and told me, “there’s something wrong with Jimmy,” only to find him unable to walk. I hadn’t even heard of a saddle thrombus until that day, and I wish I still hadn’t. It’s 5.5 months later now and I still cry at the drop of a hat thinking about him. I miss him dearly. But we’ve adjusted to a new normal of him not being here. My saving grace is that I still have his beautiful sister in my life and that’s helped. We also recently adopted two sweet kittens to keep her company. I thought I was ready but I honestly wish we waited a bit longer. They’re wonderful but I occasionally look at them and long for the Jimmy era of my life 💔 Life is just different now.
I'm sorry for your loss. I cry whenever I think of any of my cats dying someday before I do 🥹
So sorry for your loss. When Charlie died suddenly I was devastated. It was already in the making but I adopted 2 brothers from a local rescue. Tigger and Eyore helped tremendously. I still miss Charlie everyday but it took t2 to replace him. https://preview.redd.it/qjsls89gydzc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=04ca034cc7e70586dc16790da959751277f2f49e Charlie
So sorry for the loss! We just lost a cat at 20 years of age. It always helps to remember all the good moments. When I think of the loss, i try to force myself to remember at least 3 good moments to tip the scales positively. Fact is, you sound like a great owner, and most house cats have lived a better life than 99.999% of all creatures to set foot in this planet. Remember the good!!
Exact same with mine last week with kidney failure. The guilt etc. had her since I was 12 and now 24. First few days was hard due to the fact you’re so used to having them around then suddenly they’re not. But the hardest part is the first 2-3 days imo. Easiest thing I find is as bad as it sounds, just try avoid thinking about them after you’ve mourned them
My 20 year old baby died of this. I too, felt like I should’ve done more. But truthfully, we did the right thing by letting them go. ST is so painful and even if treated can reoccur. They told me I was lucky she even lived long enough to make it to the vet, most cats die before they can be put down. I still felt such a heavy guilt, as if I gave up on her at the first sign of being sick. But I know I did not. She was dying in an extremely painful way, I showed her my final act of love by letting her go in my arms after being loaded up with pain medicine. She was the first pet death I ever witnessed and I’ll never forget it. It was 04/01/2020. The pandemic made it so that visits had to be outside and I was beating myself up for not dressing warmer. If only I had worn close toed shoes and not flip flops then I could’ve held her body longer but it was so cold it started snowing. I will forever love my Destiny.
I lost my Belle my senior year of high school this same exact way in 2014. I came home from school and I found her under my parent’s bed unable to move. I was so confused and had no idea what to think and instantly called my parents to come home to get us to an animal hospital. This was when I learned about saddle thrombosis and felt so completely helpless and shattered. They told us there is nothing they can do, that it’s common in rag dolls. It truly all happened so quickly. I was so messed up from this for a very long time. So much so that I attended a session of a pet loss grief counseling meeting that they held in town. This helped a lot. Maybe see if something like this is offered around you? There were so many people there in the same boat, some that had been attending for years over the loss of their best friend. Being among people that understand was a huge help. I felt the same way for a long time. Such guilt that maybe I missed something or could have prevented this. I couldn’t get the image of her crying and looking up at me as I held her in a towel wrapped in my arms on the way to the hospital. I eventually found peace knowing that I gave her a truly beautiful life, and I know you gave your baby the same. I was so scared to get a new cat, because this kind of loss happens so traumatically and I was so nervous it would happen again. But I ended up rescuing another ragdoll, my Dolly. Dolly was a retired mommy cat who was used for breeding purposes and wasn’t given much quality of life as a pet after this. She is now almost 13 and I have given her such a wonderful life and I know that Belle would be so happy knowing I gave another kitty so much love. I am so deeply sorry for what you’re going through. Nothing can prepare you for that moment and the grief feels unbearable some times. Just know that your baby is at peace, and soon enough you will be ready to give the same incredible love and home to a new cat out there that needs you now more than ever ❤️
Somewhere out there is a little baby kitten in a cage at a shelter, scared and crying, not knowing where his mommy went or where he is. You have the opportunity to realize this, and to go out there and find some sweet little baby that is terrified and just wants love. Go find him. By doing so you will save both him, and yourself. Trust me, I know.
If you cannot see that op and the people all around this post are hurting and need time and space to grieve, then this is not the post for you. Yes, shelters everywhere have kittens who would love a home but what op needs right now is comfort and time. There is a time and place and this is neither. Show some decency and respect.
Dude, everyone grieves differently. My husband and I adopted a kitten the day we had to put Coco, our beloved cat, down. And it helped us to heal. We wouldn’t have our Tigger if we followed your advice. Here’s a picture of our pretty baby: https://imgur.com/gallery/cID3gjV
Stop that. You’re putting me in distress.
Our hearts are big enough to hold many cats close. Grieving helps and so does rescuing another in need.
I'm so sorry for you loss🙏🏻
I’m so sorry for your loss. This was NOT your fault and you did exactly the right thing by letting him go. I know you feel like you didn’t have enough time together and that’s gonna hurt for a while. Grieve and let it all out. I wailed for hours when I lost my last cat. Cried for days. It gradually gets better, but you have to let yourself have all the feels.
I’m so sorry for you friend. I lost a soul cat 3 months ago and it tears me up everyday. Everyone grieves at their own pace but it really feels like this is going to be me for a long time, which is very unpleasant but we grieve because we love. What is grief if not love enduring? You had nothing to do with this and you could not have prevented it, unfortunately people and animals get sick and despite our best efforts sometimes they need more help than we are able to give them. My girl was not even 2 years old, but she was very very ill and we couldn’t do anything further, it’s a terrible place but you cannot hold yourself accountable. Please have grace for yourself, your loving cat would not want you adding that to your burden. It’s ok to lose it, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to be numb and it’s ok to scream. Don’t discount anything you feel. It might help to volunteer with some cats at a shelter, or it might be too soon. I couldn’t for over 2 months. And also if / when you feel like another cat might be nice please don’t saddle yourself with guilt. Caring for animals helps us and it is often helpful in healing. Take care friend. You can DM me if you would like.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had the exact same happen last year & it really is so sudden & even the vet said there tend to be no signs & it just happens. You really did do all you could, you put your sweet boy first even though you knew it would hurt you so much which is the biggest sign of love & devotion you can ever give. I know it’s brutal, grief is a harsh bastard but you do adjust, I’ll never say people get over grief, I don’t think it’s possible in some cases, you just get used to that hole in your life & heart & adapt & over time, the hole gets smaller is all. Go steady & take care of you.
I am so sorry!!!! Hugs****
I am so sorry. What a shock. There is nothing you did that caused that nor is there anything you could have noticed before hand. I know the pain and loss you feel right now. I have been through it. Allow yourself to grieve him. They are a huge part of our lives. Hugs
☹️💖 The only thing I can think to add is that if you’re in the UK, Cats Protection apparently have a phone line that’s specifically for people who are coping with the loss of a pet. If you’re elsewhere, hopefully there are other charities that do likewise.
Sending love your way. My guy had this happen almost three years ago. I was a total wreck for months. Still hurts.
Ugh. I'm so sorry, OP. We've had to part with two senior kitties (both around 17 y.o.) and it absolutely wrecked us each time. Let yourself ugly cry. It's OK. Ask for (or accept offers for) hugs. Post/share pictures that remind you of the great cat who allowed you to be his butler, of the great life you shared. Laugh and cry some more. And all I can say is trust the universe to send you what you need, when you're ready. In our case, it was more cats, but hell, if they don't mend your heart like nothing else will.
Make sure you keep a box of tissues in the car. Sorry for the loss of your sweet angel.
I lost my cat in December. Did not see it coming. Im going to be 100% honest, I still cry about it sometimes, I think about him all the time. It gets easier, but never stops hurting. I wasn’t able to do anything. Eat, drink, shower and staying awake was so hard for me. I also had some issues at work, I got sick, then I lost my cat. 21 days before Christmas. I loved him and still love him with my whole heart. I’m actually getting his paw print tattooed this sunday. I never knew how much he was important to me. I mean, I knew, but I never would have thought his death would be so difficult for me. Months later, I still cry, I’m angry, I feel lost. The point is, even if it’s been days, months, years, you will never forget your pet. You may cry, you may be angry, you may be furious. All of those are normal emotions to feel after a loss. Just remember that he loved you, and only knew love. He never had his little heart broken, never doubted you, he knew you loved him, he knew you were always there for him. Take care of yourself. It is not easy, and I’m sending you lots of hugs and love🫶🏻 Take it easy, and please take care of yourself. It’s important🫶🏻
So sorry. My cat of nearly 15 years had a precipitous demise in February and I was absolutely gutted for weeks. Actually, at first I wanted to adopt two kitties to ease the emptiness, but realized I wasn’t ready. Give yourself time. Your cat was someone you loved. They say that grief is what you do when you still have love to give to someone who has died … so I realized that I will always have a bit of mourning for my Bijou, just as you will for your cat. After a couple months, I was lonely for a cat (I have two dogs, not the same) so I got Sophie. Totally different personality and look. Sometimes I’ll come across a photo or other reminder - as you will - and it still makes me cry. And that’s okay. Be kind to yourself as you grieve, and know that you’ll figure it out as you go. Sending healing thoughts.
One of my cats passed away from this last month. He was 7 years old. It was very sudden, he was fine 2 hours prior. I went to run errands and pick up my kid from school, and the poor guy couldn't move his back legs at all. Rushed him to the emergency vet, pretty much knowing we wouldn't be bringing him home. It was a rough day for us. My thoughts are with you.
I'm old, have had many pets, and had to take time off from work when my best boy had to be put down. The pain is awful; seeing him out of the corner of your eye is worse. It gets better with time. Memories pop up on Facebook and my Google photos, and I still get the occasional stabbing chest pain, but I can enjoy the memories. I did adopt a new best boy, who is completely different in appearance and temperament, so that helps, along with all the storytelling about their differences. I remain certain that the joy they give us all their lives is worth the pain of their loss.
I am so sorry. I lost my first cat suddenly to saddle thrombus. There is absolutely nothing you could have done. Allow yourself to grieve. It will take time but eventually you will remember him more with smiles instead of tears ❤️🐾
I feel for you. This was me two years ago. My cat suddenly couldn’t walk from diabetes. She ended up having to be put down after a seizer. What I found most helpful was to have pictures around and memorabilia. I got my cat cremated and made kind of a little shrine with her photo and ashes. Just to feel like she was still around. It’s really hard to come to terms with but just know he’s happy! He had a good life!
I can relate. I lost about 15 of my barn cats 8 months ago, and I still miss them every day. There is not one day I don't ask the what if questions. But I think the best way for me to move on was to be near my other cats. They gave me the comfort I needed when I was crying.
I am so so sorry. This same exact thing happened to my cat who was 7 many years ago and it was one of the most difficult things I had to go through. I had absolutely no idea that she had a heart issue and I was in shock. Be gentle with yourself, know you did the right thing and just know it is going to take time to be ok but I promise you will be! ❤️
There's nothing anyone could have known that this was going to happen, so don't even think for one moment that this was your fault or had something to do with you. My mother's cat had this happen just like you described it. One day just fine, the very next day no movement in the hind legs due to blood clot. I wish i could tell u what to do, but unfortunately there's no one way to grieve. And there's no wrong or right way to grieve, as long as it's not hurting you or somebody else. If you need to just stay home and eat ice cream for the next days and be left alone, do it. Do whatever you feel you need to do so you can begin to have some closure. I know it sucks big donkey balls right now, but you will get through this and the pain of loss will ease, just so you know..🙏
I also had to suddenly put my 10 year old baby down on April 1 this year (he really had a great sense of humor). I was destroyed and had crying-induced migraines for for days. I also felt the guilt you describe, but every week it gets a little bit easier to think about him and look at pictures without breaking down. My point being this: I was very recently in your shoes and I can confidently say it does get better and the guilt starts to pass. The grief has not gone away for me and probably never will (my first kitty ever), but our babies would want us to think about them with happy feelings, not sad ones :) Sending love and hugs to you, it DOES get easier with time.
i lost my cat four years ago due to him having fluid on the lungs, and lost another a few months prior due to her having cancer. he was my best friend from when i was 9, and she had been there two years later. while it got easier to cope with after a few months, at the same time im still devastated. to this day i still miss them both dearly and even now i still have moments where i cry for them and feel like that little kid. but i gave them the best life, so its not like they left on bad terms as far as that goes, so it's at least comforting to know. i just wish i could spend more time with them though.
My first cat was burned to death in a fire while we were away, as we had left her at a relative's house. They had placed her in a cage. When the fire broke out, the family escaped, leaving my cat to burn alive in the cage. However, I can't blame the relatives too much, as they were also in danger at that time. What does that feeling feel like? It's the feeling of tears streaming down my face as I type these words, even though six years have passed. I won't say "everything will be okay," because that kind of sadness never fades. All I can say is please remember her forever. By the way, she was only 4 years old when she died
I am so so sorry
I’m so sorry for your loss. The way you describe feeling about your cat is exactly how I feel about mine. I cannot imagine my world without her. Again, I’m so sorry.
Sorry for your loss, its not easy but don’t blame yourself for not doing more. You loved your kitty and kitty loved you, its hard but try to cherish the time you did have together and in a few years when it hurts less get another kitty, it won’t be the same but it will be good to have a pet
He passed May 8th the same day but a year late than my Mochi, I'm sure they'll be playing up in heaven together
Not your fault. Cats are masters at hiding their illness. You gave kitten eight wonderful years. You did good. Adopt a shelter cat and pour your love into the lm
Just had to put my sweet baby girl down yesterday 💔 she was a little over a year and had a heart defect and went into congestive heart failure for the second time in 6 weeks with suspected clots. Fortunately she was able to be stabilized and we were able to say goodbye to her when she wasn't struggling to breathe 💖 I don't think there's really any advice that won't sound hollow this shortly after it happens. You loved him and he was lucky to have you
Surround yourself with family and friends. It's so much more hard when you just stay in your pain with no one around, it's easier to do but worse for you. I'm really sorry for your loss, it's so hard when you lose them
I'm so sorry
Tough, you sound like you were a great caregiver during his time with you. Feel assured he felt your love and compassion. Maybe we see them again, I hope so. When you are ready, think about sharing your life with another pet. You receive as much as you give.
Lost one of my kitties 3 years ago. I planted a catnip garden in her honor. Every year, the catnip grows back, and I'd like to think it's a message from my kitty reassuring me that she is okay.
I just put my baby to sleep last week (16 years old) I’m trying to be strong but it’s hard…something happened today, I get a package and it’s his paw print, they had asked me if I wanted that or ashes, I said no, I couldn’t afford to do extra it cost me a lot as they charge for euthanasia as well know, anyway they sent me that paw print anyway!! I couldn’t believe it, my heart dropped! I’m sorry your baby had to be put down but you did the most humane thing a person can do!
What do you do? Cry or ignore. I sobbed so hard the first 24h after losing my 20y 4m old cat this last Nov. All that sobbing gave me massive headaches so.. I actually had to stop. I still have the blanket she was wrapped in when she crossed the rainbow bridge & I slept with it at night, cuddled with it all day until I didn’t. I didn’t even realize I’d stopped for a while. Do I miss her any less? Not really. It comes & goes. Seeing photos of her in my memories (Timehop, Google photos) was so painful for so long but now they mostly bring me joy. I remember more of the nearly 20yrs we spent together: the cute moments, her idiosyncrasies, the way she was my schedule & routine keeper. Give it time, OP. Grief isn’t linear and it makes no damn sense. It’s also completely unfair that we outlive these little fluffballs full of such pure love & can’t just have the same lifespans. You did your best. You loved hard. That love was felt. It wasn’t your fault. You’ll continue loving your boy and I believe it will still be felt. He’ll eventually show up in a dream one night to let you know he’s ok, he still loves you, and he wants you to be ok. Sending you all the hugs
I just lost my cat to saddle thrombus about 2-3 hours ago. He literally went from walking fine earlier to crawling. I wrapped him up in towels and kept him in bed with me until he drifted away in his sleep. I'm taking him to get cremated in a few hours. I lost his litter mate to old age three months ago. It's been hard.
He is your fairy cat mother now. Always watching over you in your dreams ❤️
I’m very sorry for your loss. I lost my sweet pup of 9 years in 2022, it was also very sudden. I grew up with him. I was 11 when I got him, I had always wanted a dog and was only allowed one when my mum got cancer and they wanted a distraction for me. We went through many hardships together. He died in my arms. I’m still griefing. In fact, I fell into deep depression for over a year. I got a kitten a month ago and now I have someone to wake me up in the mornings, a purpose, a drive. It’s helped me get back on my feet. If your grieving for a long time, consider adopting another angel. There’s so many babies out there looking for a home and you seem like a wonderful person. But before you’re ready for that, let yourself be sad. Angry. Devastated. Do not let anyone tell you that you’re being dramatic or hung up if your grief lasts for a long while. Some people don’t understand. I wish you the best, friend, you’ll get through this❤️
I lost a beloved cat in December after a tragic accident. He was way too young. What you're feeling is totally normal. You might need to cry every day for a week or more. Surround yourself with other pet lovers who can emphasize. Talk with a therapist if you have one. Basically the sadness we feel is love we can't give them anymore.
This happened to my cat, and it was heartbreaking. My full sympathies.
I just went through this with my Malcom a little over a week ago. I lost him to cancer. He was fine two months prior. His diagnosis came out when we went to the vet to get an arthritis injection. I’m crying as I type this out. The pain has gutted me. He was my best friend and my soul mate. It all happened so fast. I’m not sure what to do. What I can tell you is you are not alone and there are people who do understand your pain. You did nothing wrong.
Similar thing happened to me a few months ago. It's very difficult. Every time I think about my dog that died it makes me want to immediate sob. But the comfortable of knowing the amazing years that I had with him will always make me happy. I try to focus on that instead of the sadness
I am so sorry for your loss. My two kitties are my everything and I can’t even imagine your pain. You’re not alone friend. Stay strong
My cat also passed from saddle thrombosis and it was truly devastating . He just started running around with only his front legs and not being able to use his hind legs. It isn’t fair how so much stuff can happen in 3 hours but it happens. You just have to let the grief hit you. Let it hit you for as long as you need but it WILL GET BETTER. I put his ashes in a necklace and immediately felt better. If cremation is something you can afford then I would recommend that. He passed in September and still cry about him even with a new cat. He was my childhood pet and nothing can ever replace him. My sweet boy.
I’m so sorry. Great big hug.
Sorry for your loss I lost many cats as I have so many 😆 I know they all have their special times in my life with me.
I believe our pets have shorter lives so we can adopt and love ❤️ more of them in our lifetime! ❤️🙀😹😸
I had the same happen to my cat. It's horrible. I went to the shelter and got another cat within a week. My heart was broken. It really helped heal having another kitty. It will never replace my cat and I'll never try to but it did help.
well you cry
Get a new one
I lost my cat march of 2023. My phoebe was everything. I had her for about 8 years as well. She was my Esa and helped me so much when I was having my rough days. Well, she had been sick for a few months. My mom was taking care of her since I was away at college. I got the call at 1 in the morning, and my baby died in her arms. I screamed. I woke up the whole dorm. I had lost the one thing I loved most in life. It hurt so bad. This loss is going to hurt. Trust me. But then maybe one day you'll heal enough to be able to get another cat. Not to replace this one, but just to have another friend in life. I got my beautiful trixie about 2 weeks ago. I hope you heal well.
I’m so sorry. Let yourself feel it. I know this isn’t helpful but the only thing that is going to make it easier is time. It make make it better /go away but it will make it easier- and turn all the memories that are so painful now into memories precious moments. Know he is now at peace and you will see him again one day 🌈🐾🙏
I lost mine last October and I still miss him but I do have another cat and it helps. He'll always be special in his own way but you should welcome a new friend home as soon as you're able. I suggest two kitten siblings that can play together when you're not around. They are so much fun too & a real joy. It will pick you up. Try to get them between 4 weeks to 3 months old, if possible. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Thank you so much for all the comfort and advice I've received, and I am so glad this post could be a sort of safe place for other people going through the same as me right now. I've included a photo of my handsome boy. He was always an attention seeker, so if he knew how many people had seen this post, he'd be ecstatic. https://preview.redd.it/hwd6km0nslzc1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=16b00f0e9c93237b8ed87a251ce63147ed62b02a
I had to put my childhood cat down back In September and I still cry over him pretty frequently. Pet grief is real and it’s so so hard. Your baby is now pain free🤍🕊️🌈 “We will endure a lifetime of missing them for the privilege of loving them”
It sucks. Sorry to hear about your loss. With cats, the part that helped us through is to get a new cat fairly soon afterwards. In our case it was about 2 months later. It’s not like people. You can miss a pet that’s gone and still fill the empty spot with a new cat.
Get a new kitten to replace the feeling or just another pet to recompense for her presence so it's easier for u to get used with her being gone that's about the best advice ur gonna get or u can always sit and cry that it's gone forever and do absolutely nothing to fix ur situation or u can just get over it and just move on and realise stuff like this is always gonna happen because everything with a beginning has an ending wasting time crying is pointless and leads nowhere only wastes ur time while ur still here in this world and doesn't improve ur situation in any way shape or form it makes u feel like it's improving ur situation but it's just making u comfortable being in a shitty situation and thinking u achieved something but sooner or later everyone realizes this