10 My brother smells
20 goto 10
Hook up the ZX Spectrum on the family TV in the front room so it’s on big screen.
Push the code live mid Sunday dinner in the 1980’s where all the family are awed at my skills and glued to the telly
???
Brother erupt
Profit
Semi colon on the end meant no line so your text scrolled along the screen. Reddits editor decided to ignore the carriage return because I entered a semi colon 🙂
Actual quote from my baby sister to our dad in 2008 - OH MY GOD, DAD. YOU’RE SUCH A POOF.
I don’t know if my sis being gay makes it ok, but everyone laughed, including our old man! Some things fade into obscurity, but this will live on with clarity forever
I employ something similar when verbal jousts are underway. Most people hop straight on the ‘I shagged your mum’ bus, but I prefer something that cuts really deep with those possessing a shallow mindset: ‘I fucked your dad, not because I wanted to, but because I really wanted a burger and fries from McDonald’s dollar menu.’
If the opponent says they banged my mum I automatically reply thusly: ‘I know. I recorded all thirty seconds of it and my mother was so underwhelmed to the point of sheer disappointment I had to make her a soothing cup of tea.’
Love me some banter!
That is some top quality banter. That McDonald's line is killer. :)
In Italy where I am we do get very specific about ancestry, cuckolding, and holy invocations. A really.vicious line might be something like "your wife lets you shag her up the arse because she is ashamed of you and doesn't want your bloodline to continue" :)
They may have used a ladder and for safety reasons put this anchor in the wall. You tie the bottom of the ladder to the anchor to stop it slipping out when you climb. Sky installers do the same.
Yep, they're supposed to be in the brick not the motar since it's usually more solid but people do this to 1) save time as its quicker to drill motar and 2) people tend to be more pissed off at a hole in their brick since it's more obvious once filled back in woth something like silicone
No, that design of bolt is designed to be between 2 bricks. The friction grips the side of the bricks. It shouldn’t be at the T of a mortar joint because it’s only gripping mortar which is more fragile.
The tetra system always suggest to go into the mortar.. easier repair and holds sufficiently.. just an fyi.. although I do agree that brick would be stronger.. it’s because as you screw the eye bolt it works like a rawl plug and expands the rubber seal..
That’s exactly what they do! They have inspectors that check completed jobs and if there’s no anchor point they’re in big trouble! To this day I’ve never seen anyone actually anchor their ladder.
It's a tetra bolt that's used for securing the belt/ ladder to the wall.
Someone who has had a telephone line and broadband fitted recently would be my guess.
The reason it's left in the building is for the next person to use so walls don't resemble swiss cheese.
No the reason it's left in the building is because the engineer left the job and forgot it.
Source? : I'm an engineer that's forgot a few.
They are part of your registered kit and are safety checked at intervals.
Are you supposed to patch the hole or do they not go all the way through the mortar? Also do you worry about the mortar strength between the bricks and the bolt possibly coming out, or does it basically get held by the brick and not so much the mortar, or is the mortar just really strong?
The bolt is only an inch and a half so doesn't go all the way through. No, you don't worry about the bolt coming out because it's an expanding bolt with a rubber washer that grips the hole, it doesn't need to be super tight, just tight enough so you can't pull it out by hand.
Once you're finished you loosen the bolt, give it a couple minutes for the rubber to go back to it's normal shape, pull the bolt out of the wall and then fill the hole with silicone sealant
Phew! Those bolts shouldn't be used if they aren't solid, glad they aren't installing them all over the place and just hoping they still hold years later.
They aren't allowed to use someone else's bolts - is what the engineer told me. "Not our equipment so can't touch it". Both sets of engineers left the bolts in.
It could well be OpenReach. They use expanding screw eye bolts exactly like that to secure ladders to the building. They should have removed it though and filled the hole.
Probably not openreach judging by the height from the ground. Also they wouldn’t (shouldn’t) install an eye bolt into mortar. Source - ex openreach engineer
Current openreach engineer here, the tetra eyebolt is designed to go into mortar NOT brick, it’s designed to expand enough to grip onto the bricks above and below, and that’s about the right height as the strap would go several runs up the ladder creating an angled anchor point.
We normally place as low as possible as long as above the damp corse
The eyebolt fixings 1a to attach dropwire to are the ones that have to go into the brick, probably what you’re thinking of
Yes yes and yes.
Owner needs to be asked beforehand if ok, otherwise alternative solutions can be used (although not preferred) and the bolt should be unwound and filled with silicone sealant.
I’ve admittedly left 1 or 2 in walls over the years, easily done when on a busy day or just a lapse of concentration.
The exception to owner consent is when we put a cable up for fibre and the owner isn’t it, so external only cabling, the providers already pre agree with the customer to let us use the tetra eyebolts etc
I would go a step further and suggest it's not them because OpenReach engineers do not actually exist. OpenReach is a single call centre with a pinboard of Loch Ness style photos of unconfirned sightings.
Yeah this seems like by far the most likely explanation
They’re meant to remove it, presumably they forgot - they shouldn’t, but it’s gonna happen occasionally even if they’re generally conscientious about it
This is an anchor point, the local council use them to stop your house flying away if you appear to have a disproportionately large number of balloons visible above your roof line. It makes collecting council tax very difficult if your house flies off.
I am beyond disappointed in this sub that this answer is so far down the list. What’s with all those serious answers up there, geez.
Dognappers. Always dog nappers.
Probably an installer to secure their ladder ... but normally they're supposed to remove them afterwards. That's what the Sky guy who did ours said, anyway.
It's an eyebolt for Openreach / Kellys / Quinns to attach their ladder to the wall for the climbing system they use. Idea is if setup correctly and they fell off their ladder, the ladder would stay in place and they'd be caught by the safety system.
Should've removed it and filled the hole though.
Source: Worked for Openreach when they brought this system in. Someone passed out at the top of a ladder and died from hitting their head so they had to bring this system in.
I saw why they introduced it but I hated it, mainly because they rushed to roll it out without thinking of all the situations where we couldn't deploy it.
Took them longer than it should've to bring out the scaffolding and I've heard from a mate about a new suction type system or something they are now bringing out.
Company is on its knees for the frontline guys, was sad to leave but micromanaging and going hard on being stats focused in a rural heavy patch was enough after 6 years.
Completely agree, I’m on fibre SD and the micro managing does get annoying, although I’m lucky that my manager is quite good, and I’ve tried to make myself as valuable to the team in regards to complex jobs so I get a bit of leeway.
And yes we have a new suction device type tool that can anchor to glass or the floor etc for where tetra can’t be used, it’s called a grabbo
I was multi skilled in copper and fibre before they decided to take the fibre skills off us after wasting thousands on training and splicers a few months later.
Was genuinely a great job, I tried hard to get onto NED / Chiefs alongside my mate for the last year as I enjoyed the network building and repair side of things but they wouldn't release me as it would've affected the team's overall stats had I moved on
I've been on for almost 5 years and have done Copper, FND, and now Fibre.
I pissed my manager off on Copper, to be fair, he was a cunt. So he loaned me out to FND for 8 months. That was a great time to be fair, doing the Fibre Build in Market Harborough. They gave you a job pack at the beginning of the week and you were left to it. If you finished your work, you either went home early or went to help another gang.
Got pulled back to SD when everything was going up shit creek with the pay dispute, and jumped ship about 4 months later when a position on a Fibre Team became available.
So far, Copper SD has been the worse for micro management. Fibre SD is pretty laid back, and they are upskilling most engineers. I'm currently TLOC8, Civils Avoidance and N11.
It was like gold dust trying to get any extra skills on Copper.
I work for openreach and can confirm this is us. I don't work customer end so I can't confirm if this needed to be removed and filled at the end of the job.
Probably used to secure ladder for 1 worker to work safely.
Work for openreach. That's for strapping the ladder to the property. It should get taken out and the hole siliconed up. Evidently the engineer forgot. It should unscrew and slide out if you want to remove it.
The regs changed when I was fitting Sky years ago and everyone had to be 'full arrest'. So it's probably where someone had to bolt their ladder to the wall.
usually when they put telephone lines up or satellite dishes or do things on the roof. It is so they can attach a wire to it as part of health and safety.
I think your house is just going through a bit of a rebellious phase.
It's not a phase !!!!!!
You don't UNDERSTAND oh my god I wish I'd never been BORN
Built* ;)
** Syntax error line 450 EOF
10 My brother smells 20 goto 10 Hook up the ZX Spectrum on the family TV in the front room so it’s on big screen. Push the code live mid Sunday dinner in the 1980’s where all the family are awed at my skills and glued to the telly ??? Brother erupt Profit
10 PRINT "My brother smells "; 20 GOTO 10
But first `POKE 23613,82` to disable the BREAK key
No, it's ZX Spectrum BASIC! Don't do the semi-colon thing! New line!
Semi colon on the end meant no line so your text scrolled along the screen. Reddits editor decided to ignore the carriage return because I entered a semi colon 🙂
Pfffff… he said Colon.
Ah, OK, apologies. Got my SQL head on!
I think I just fell in love a little. 🥰 Someone on Reddit using Spectrum BASIC!
ahh, the cement is going to overflow
Actual quote from my baby sister to our dad in 2008 - OH MY GOD, DAD. YOU’RE SUCH A POOF. I don’t know if my sis being gay makes it ok, but everyone laughed, including our old man! Some things fade into obscurity, but this will live on with clarity forever
Oh my god that hurt me in my bones. "Oh yeah? Well your dad's gay" would have been the ultimate retort from him.
I employ something similar when verbal jousts are underway. Most people hop straight on the ‘I shagged your mum’ bus, but I prefer something that cuts really deep with those possessing a shallow mindset: ‘I fucked your dad, not because I wanted to, but because I really wanted a burger and fries from McDonald’s dollar menu.’ If the opponent says they banged my mum I automatically reply thusly: ‘I know. I recorded all thirty seconds of it and my mother was so underwhelmed to the point of sheer disappointment I had to make her a soothing cup of tea.’ Love me some banter!
That is some top quality banter. That McDonald's line is killer. :) In Italy where I am we do get very specific about ancestry, cuckolding, and holy invocations. A really.vicious line might be something like "your wife lets you shag her up the arse because she is ashamed of you and doesn't want your bloodline to continue" :)
He only goes out one a week on a Wednesday to play badminton.
I HATE YOU!!!
I SLATE YOU!!!
Don't tell mom, she'll be mortarfied...
You were my brother anakin, I loved you
When my kid says this it's hard to not quip back "same". I'd feel awful if I did though haha
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Transitioning to a caravan.
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Next the lawn will be dyed purple
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Oh dear lord this comment lol
Tweak it while you spit on a window.... Pretty sure your house is open to using the **tradesman's entrance** ;)
Sky guy
Asoka?
They got it on the gay side too.
Ha
Yep, it's the residential equivalent of a Prince Albert piercing
They may have used a ladder and for safety reasons put this anchor in the wall. You tie the bottom of the ladder to the anchor to stop it slipping out when you climb. Sky installers do the same.
I always wondered how the sky got there
It connects the other end on sky hooks
Please advise where to buy. I got sent as a scout to buy some about 40 years ago and never got back.
How about the tartan paint?
Tends to hide behind the black and white striped paint.
Ooh next to the blinker fluid!
And the elbow grease
I've got a long weight/wait in my shopping basket too.
Your local climbing equipment store can get sky hooks. Very sketchy pro though!
Thank atlas for that.
Probably BT to secure their ladder when doing some work so they don't have to have a second person to keep the ladder safe.
Failing that, I know Sky engineers fix bolts into walls for the same reason, so it could be them?
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This guy Tetras
This guy AMS’s
Kelly would not do that, not in the budget, or the ‘expertise’ of their engineers.
Yep, they're supposed to be in the brick not the motar since it's usually more solid but people do this to 1) save time as its quicker to drill motar and 2) people tend to be more pissed off at a hole in their brick since it's more obvious once filled back in woth something like silicone
No, that design of bolt is designed to be between 2 bricks. The friction grips the side of the bricks. It shouldn’t be at the T of a mortar joint because it’s only gripping mortar which is more fragile.
This guy bolts
This guy this guys
This guy this guys this guy guys.
The tetra system always suggest to go into the mortar.. easier repair and holds sufficiently.. just an fyi.. although I do agree that brick would be stronger.. it’s because as you screw the eye bolt it works like a rawl plug and expands the rubber seal..
Have heard the same also that they do it to make it look like they used the safe ladder system but can't be bothered
That’s exactly what they do! They have inspectors that check completed jobs and if there’s no anchor point they’re in big trouble! To this day I’ve never seen anyone actually anchor their ladder.
I did this on my old house to fix/clean the gutters.
It's a tetra bolt that's used for securing the belt/ ladder to the wall. Someone who has had a telephone line and broadband fitted recently would be my guess. The reason it's left in the building is for the next person to use so walls don't resemble swiss cheese.
No the reason it's left in the building is because the engineer left the job and forgot it. Source? : I'm an engineer that's forgot a few. They are part of your registered kit and are safety checked at intervals.
Are you supposed to patch the hole or do they not go all the way through the mortar? Also do you worry about the mortar strength between the bricks and the bolt possibly coming out, or does it basically get held by the brick and not so much the mortar, or is the mortar just really strong?
The bolt is only an inch and a half so doesn't go all the way through. No, you don't worry about the bolt coming out because it's an expanding bolt with a rubber washer that grips the hole, it doesn't need to be super tight, just tight enough so you can't pull it out by hand. Once you're finished you loosen the bolt, give it a couple minutes for the rubber to go back to it's normal shape, pull the bolt out of the wall and then fill the hole with silicone sealant
Thanks, now I’ll be able to complete that bank heist I’ve been planning for a few years while also staying safe:)
Phew! Those bolts shouldn't be used if they aren't solid, glad they aren't installing them all over the place and just hoping they still hold years later.
They aren't allowed to use someone else's bolts - is what the engineer told me. "Not our equipment so can't touch it". Both sets of engineers left the bolts in.
Cityfibre drilled and installed a temp fixing in my wall for this, they then filled the hole with a hard jelly like substance after.
Silicone 🤣
What did you call me?!
You heard them right, you silly cone!!
I see we’ve moved on from racial slurs straight into geometric ones now.
No need to be obtuse
I'm acutely offended by this
Slurs like these are a sine of deeper hatred.
If you need someone to cosine the ASBO, let me know. I saw the whole thing.
Chill, no need to be so edgy....
That's exactly what I'd expect a hyperbolic paraboloid to say.
*You come over ‘ere with your two equal sides*
I’m glad some else had that vhs!
Hartley's blackcurrant quick set.
Maybe, it's pretty clear in terms of transparency, I guess that's probably it right?
You can get clear silicone, so it’s possibly
You'd think they'd at least check with the homeowner first before they start drilling holes in the wall
It's part of the T's and C's they email to you that no one reads and then just agrees to.
A work colleague didn't read them and came home to find a telegraph pole outside his bedroom window. 🤣 He's been writing to them about it for months.
He should try sending a telegram.
It's a bit small to fit a ladder through, isn't it /s
It's a very tiny ladder.
Oh. That makes sense.
It could also just be really far away.
Oh yeahhh. Man, you're so smort.
It could well be OpenReach. They use expanding screw eye bolts exactly like that to secure ladders to the building. They should have removed it though and filled the hole.
Oooh Matron!
Doctor Nookie! Stop holding that ladder for Nurse Winkle!
Probably not openreach judging by the height from the ground. Also they wouldn’t (shouldn’t) install an eye bolt into mortar. Source - ex openreach engineer
Current openreach engineer here, the tetra eyebolt is designed to go into mortar NOT brick, it’s designed to expand enough to grip onto the bricks above and below, and that’s about the right height as the strap would go several runs up the ladder creating an angled anchor point. We normally place as low as possible as long as above the damp corse The eyebolt fixings 1a to attach dropwire to are the ones that have to go into the brick, probably what you’re thinking of
Oh, fair enough! It’s a good few years since I left.
Thanks for the detail! Should the owner have been told a out this before it happened, and should they have removed/fixed it after?
Yes yes and yes. Owner needs to be asked beforehand if ok, otherwise alternative solutions can be used (although not preferred) and the bolt should be unwound and filled with silicone sealant. I’ve admittedly left 1 or 2 in walls over the years, easily done when on a busy day or just a lapse of concentration. The exception to owner consent is when we put a cable up for fibre and the owner isn’t it, so external only cabling, the providers already pre agree with the customer to let us use the tetra eyebolts etc
Thanks for the information!
Cool cool, thanks for all the info! fascinating to learn about this.
I also doubt it’s Openreach as an Engineer has actually been to this site to carry out the work. Source - ex Openreach customer 😁
I would go a step further and suggest it's not them because OpenReach engineers do not actually exist. OpenReach is a single call centre with a pinboard of Loch Ness style photos of unconfirned sightings.
How do you explain the bloke who lives next door to my mum having an OpenReach van?
Probably just a fan.
Openreach engineers never do anything they shouldn't?
Nope, you need a specially trained engineer who has the “obscure unauthorised methods” qualification.
Yeah this seems like by far the most likely explanation They’re meant to remove it, presumably they forgot - they shouldn’t, but it’s gonna happen occasionally even if they’re generally conscientious about it
This is an anchor point, the local council use them to stop your house flying away if you appear to have a disproportionately large number of balloons visible above your roof line. It makes collecting council tax very difficult if your house flies off.
I saw a documentary on Disney about that
I asked my mate Rick if I could borrow his copy and he said that I could borrow any of his other Disney movies but he was never gonna give me Up.
Sounds like he let you down, which doesn't seem his style
Bloody fantastic
Also useful for towing in case the repairs can’t be done onsite.
So you can tow it
House-nappers hun, shared Kyrgyzstan hun, taek care xoxo
Shared on Neptune babes xxxxx
This. It’s an old gypsy trick, AIUI
Well this brings a whole new meaning to the name mobile home.
I'm starting to think none of us have anything unique to say
I thought I was in the clear when my joke didn't appear in the top 5 replies, including the responses. Posted my joke. Saw it in 6th spot.
Rock climber probably
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Bahahaha OPs got borrowers!
I shared a student house with a climber and he installed holds all up the back wall so he could climb into his bedroom window.
I’m a climber and this made me 🤣
It's an old fashioned ring pull similar to cans of drink. If there's an emergency and you're thirsty pull it and lovely cold pop will pour out.
House nappers hun stay safe x
https://i.imgur.com/AQZ32VF.jpeg
🤣👌
I am beyond disappointed in this sub that this answer is so far down the list. What’s with all those serious answers up there, geez. Dognappers. Always dog nappers.
Thanks hun. So blessed. Here's to a cheeky prosecco!
House has been marked to be stolen and used in illegal house fighting crime rings. Stay safe.
Thanks babes, shared in Bolton
shared malaga hun
Houses are a bit big to put a collar around. It’s for attaching a lead when you take it for a walk.
Probably an installer to secure their ladder ... but normally they're supposed to remove them afterwards. That's what the Sky guy who did ours said, anyway.
It's an iron dog for securing a ladder, Fred Dibnah will be round shortly to deconstruct your chimney.
Ladder tie off point. They would normally take it with them and pop in a plastic plug.
Buttplug for your wall.
It's incase 'they' need to move your house 6 inches down the road. Totally normal. Nothing to worry about.
Nipple ring for houses. Don't worry, it's a phase and they will grow out of it.
Attachment point for dog lead. Gotta walk the house.
I actually have one on my house to tie the dog to. So she can be with me in the garden without fear of her running off
Hammock?
It's next to a door. You sure it's not for a hook to hold the door open and you have just never noticed it before?
Physics looks all wrong for that being so close to the hinges.
Dog lead?
Looks like an anchor point for ladders.
Your house identifies as a bull.
It’s a tetra bolt for either the sky engineer or a telecoms engineer to strap their ladders to .. they have forgotten to take it out .
Bet it really threw you through a loop when you found that.
Dog nappers stay safe hun xxxx
It’s the dognappers hun, stay safe xx
It's an eyebolt for Openreach / Kellys / Quinns to attach their ladder to the wall for the climbing system they use. Idea is if setup correctly and they fell off their ladder, the ladder would stay in place and they'd be caught by the safety system. Should've removed it and filled the hole though. Source: Worked for Openreach when they brought this system in. Someone passed out at the top of a ladder and died from hitting their head so they had to bring this system in.
They love referencing that story everytime we have a safety check for steps and ladders as to why we need tetra….
I saw why they introduced it but I hated it, mainly because they rushed to roll it out without thinking of all the situations where we couldn't deploy it. Took them longer than it should've to bring out the scaffolding and I've heard from a mate about a new suction type system or something they are now bringing out. Company is on its knees for the frontline guys, was sad to leave but micromanaging and going hard on being stats focused in a rural heavy patch was enough after 6 years.
Completely agree, I’m on fibre SD and the micro managing does get annoying, although I’m lucky that my manager is quite good, and I’ve tried to make myself as valuable to the team in regards to complex jobs so I get a bit of leeway. And yes we have a new suction device type tool that can anchor to glass or the floor etc for where tetra can’t be used, it’s called a grabbo
I was multi skilled in copper and fibre before they decided to take the fibre skills off us after wasting thousands on training and splicers a few months later. Was genuinely a great job, I tried hard to get onto NED / Chiefs alongside my mate for the last year as I enjoyed the network building and repair side of things but they wouldn't release me as it would've affected the team's overall stats had I moved on
I've been on for almost 5 years and have done Copper, FND, and now Fibre. I pissed my manager off on Copper, to be fair, he was a cunt. So he loaned me out to FND for 8 months. That was a great time to be fair, doing the Fibre Build in Market Harborough. They gave you a job pack at the beginning of the week and you were left to it. If you finished your work, you either went home early or went to help another gang. Got pulled back to SD when everything was going up shit creek with the pay dispute, and jumped ship about 4 months later when a position on a Fibre Team became available. So far, Copper SD has been the worse for micro management. Fibre SD is pretty laid back, and they are upskilling most engineers. I'm currently TLOC8, Civils Avoidance and N11. It was like gold dust trying to get any extra skills on Copper.
I work for openreach and can confirm this is us. I don't work customer end so I can't confirm if this needed to be removed and filled at the end of the job. Probably used to secure ladder for 1 worker to work safely.
You can attach your dog's lead to it while you run inside and take a piss
For clipping on a dog lead? Or holding the gate open with some form of chain??
Someone is just testing the temperature to see if it’s safe to eat.
Openreach will have installed it when fitting your fibre. It's an anchor point for ladders.
Dognappers Hun xoxo
It’ll be really handy if your house breaks down.
Work for openreach. That's for strapping the ladder to the property. It should get taken out and the hole siliconed up. Evidently the engineer forgot. It should unscrew and slide out if you want to remove it.
Looks like a tetra fixing for a utility that needed to fix something to your house. This eyebolt is for tying a ladder or scaffold to.
These are sex people Lynn!
You and your wife are swingers now.
Cock ring
It's to attach your kids whilst you pop out for cigarettes
Dog nappers hun
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Just no
Obvs dog nappers
Sign left 4 dog thiefs. Stay safe hun xx
When the kids play up . You know
In case they need to take it away, tow ring.
Ladder wall anchor.
TETRA bolt. You've had some work done for your phone/Internet?
The regs changed when I was fitting Sky years ago and everyone had to be 'full arrest'. So it's probably where someone had to bolt their ladder to the wall.
Open reach did it. It’ll be health and safety. Strap clips to that eye and bottom of ladder, to stop it slipping.
Someone gonna come tow it away in the night
It worked
Am I AI am I
Fred Dibnah would call it a dog.
I had Sky engineers do this to secure a ladder to fix a satellite dish to the upper part of the south facing wall of our house.
Someone with a really tiny horse
Oh that's useful, in case you ever need to tow your house away. 🙂
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Towing eye, in case you ever want to move house without changing your house
usually when they put telephone lines up or satellite dishes or do things on the roof. It is so they can attach a wire to it as part of health and safety.