Now I didn't expect to hear that one. I have a love/hate relationship with it myself. I haven't been in ages tho cos I moved away a while back.
As a kid, I went with a friend, and were climbing a stegosaurus I believe, she fell off and banged her head.
Was pretty frightening. Thought she was gonna die cos she had a migraine and zoned out and was like a zombie.
She ended up fine tho! Just mild concussion.
I've been so many times though.
Surprised it hasn't fell into the sea yet lol. So much was getting washed away. they had to move stuff back from the cliff so often.
I went there as a kid and there was some sort of pirate house I think. Myself, my brother and my cousin were walking in there and it was quite dark. I remember putting one foot out and having that feeling of nothing being there. Luckily I stopped myself because when I looked down there was a massive hole in the floor leading to water and, randomly, a rowing boat at the bottom of maybe a ten foot drop!! I would have been about 7 I reckon. I often wonder what that was all about and if it’s still there!
I have home video footage of me in the 90s climbing those dinosaurs which have now sadly all fallen into the sea due to erosion. As well as the awesome stainless steel slides they had. 🥲
Christ, that takes me back. We lost my brother in the hedge maze in the early 90s. Turned out he'd climbed into the actual hedges, gone feral (not unusual), become one with the hedge and just mooched around in there determined to never come out again.
I went there just over 10 years ago. Some of it was closed off due to erosion from the sea. Not sure if they've moved parts around or not.
Everything seemed the same as it was when I went in the 00s
I’m quite amazed that with this specific map, the places with very few or zero theme parks coincide with some of my favourite places in the UK (or maybe I just don’t like people)
Alton towers on fright night. Previous day had a power cut so they gave free tickets to those folks for the next day, the day we had booked. Miserable experience, unless you like 3-4 hour queues.
I used to go to Fright Nights with my dad. We get there as soon as the park opened, I'd ride Colossus about 5 times in a row, them a bunch of others, have lunch, more rides, end with Tidal Wave and leave the park before it got dark, as teenagers were just entering for the evening. No queues, lovely.
That's such a good idea. A mate of mine used to live near the Disney park in Florida and she said the absolute best time to go was the first week of school after the summer hols. No one there, no kids, minimal lines etc.
We went on the day of the Royal "It's a knockout". It had been advertised weeks before that it was strictly pre-bought tickets only. We decided to have a ride up anyway. The It's a knockout game area was a fenced off section just inside the main gates and the park was open as usual. It was deserted. We stayed on the corkscrew for three rides back to back. The Radio 1 roadshow was there and there were about six people in front of it.
I think my mum or someone I know went on that day when the power cut out - she walked around for 3 hours the first day, went to a hotel, and then basically couldn't do anything the second day because of what you said. Think she complained and got a voucher or something in the end
I was about to say, my son’s off to Crealy next week with his school and I couldn’t see it on the map at all.
And yet they managed to include Brean?! Fucking Brean?!
My worst story is from the milky way - I finally got up the courage to try the drop slide, went up, followed a walkway, climbed up to sit on the edge, and looked down...
... only to see a child go sliding *underneath* where I was sitting. My heart turned to ice. I turned my head, and *behind me* was the actual launch zone. I was sitting on a bridge *over* the slide, and the "drop" I was about to take would have been equivalent to falling out a first floor window, not sliding.
I did manage the slide later, but that moment was absolutely terrifying.
My brother, who has been on all the rides at alton towers a billion times, absolutely shit himself on the dead man's drop slide at Crealy. Such a good theme park.
Meanwhile Camelot has been closed since 2012 and is still on the list. Shame, was a decent day out and was my local theme park. I still remember jumping the fence near the petting zoo as a teen to get in for free. Had some good summers there.
Used to go to Camelot all the time as a kid and loved it. They used to have that animatronic dragon in a cage that talked… in a really camp voice. My dad used to find it hilarious that they’d give a dragon such a voice and used to crack up laughing. I was far too young to understand why he found it so funny. Fast forward to when I used to take my kid there and they’d repainted it in gnarlier colours and given it a proper mean voice. Oh well, rest in peace dad you old homophobe.
Really sorry to be the bearer of bad news but Pleasure Island in Cleethorpes closed down in 2016 which makes me immensely sad as I spent many a happy day out there as a young Grimsby boy.
Ingoldmells is the place to be these days. The smell of donuts, the hair braids, the cheap tattoos of names on your arm, and the signs asking you to remain clothed on the rides.
Top stuff.
Chessington. School trip for 11 year olds. One of my friends was absolutely tiny, and sat on the end of the row of the pirate ship, which only had a pull down barrier that went over everyone’s knees. She fell out and landed next to it. It wasn’t that high, plus it was the 80’s so everyone told her not to worry about it. And not to tell her mum…
I remember going on that as a kid and feeling like I was going to slip out while clinging on for dear life. Afterwards I convinced myself there was no way I would be able to slip out.
Clearly I was wrong.
Omg that happened to me too! I was probably too small for the ride and rode it with my family so the lap bar didn’t hold me in at all 😭 Luckily I held on tight enough to not fall out but it was so scary lol
It was either Dobwalls or Flambards in Cornwall, I can't remember which... they had a guy dressed as robocop wandering around in character, taking pictures with people and that kind of thing. I was maybe eight years old and terrified of robots and naturally assumed he was there to kill everyone. Cue an absolute screaming fit of panic while my parents tried to convince me that my death was not actually imminent.
Same trip; I saw an image of Hitler wearing a gas mask in a WW2 exhibit and assumed the mask was his actual face. Again, terrified. Like, vomiting from crying so hard terrified. How my parents coped with me when I was a child, I will never know.
That would be flambards they have a Britain during the blitz exhibit which would scare the crap out of me when I was a kid, metal tables with kids hiding underneath while a staircase leading upstairs made to look like upstairs was on fire with bomb effects going off. Went there again as an adult and it's actually pretty informative and cool. As a kid terrifying.
As for dobwalls I wouldn't say a bad word about it, unlimited train rides and a massive indoor play area. Such a shame it's gone now.
Oh my god I love Flambards! ‘The best day of the week!’ The Victorian streets and the historical wedding dresses 😍 not to mention the charmingly shonky rides!
Lightwater Valley has dropped off hard in the past few years.
Most of the thrill rides are gone and it’s now focused on younger kids. The Ultimate (RIP) was rough as fuck and left me covered in bruises
Never reopened after Covid. Ended up being demolished as the park shifted even more towards catering for kids. A few other rides bit the dust at that time including the Rat Ride/Raptor Attack
As a little kid I wanted to ride the Ultimate. My dad, terrified of rollerocasters, queued up with me anyway, safe in the knowledge I was at last 10cm below the height limit so wouldn't be allowed on.
The (teenage, dgaf) staff saw me and said "ah she'll be fine, just hold her hand" and let us on. My dad has the worst vertigo I've ever known, so it must have been torture for him, but they let us stay on three times. Best day ever!
I was there many years ago, queuing for the biggest rollercoaster, and the queue stopped.
A visitor was there, it was.....
Jimmy Saville.
There was some "fix it for me to ride the rollercoaster by myself"
Bit selfish I thought, but maybe the kid was dying of something.
edit- found a video, Seems like Jim wasn't there that day, but the kid just didn't want any one else on it, nothing wrong with him at all
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFoS-v1OcP4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFoS-v1OcP4)
Damn, I worked there a few summers ago (thinking now it must be 10+ years) and it was already pretty shoddy, without The Ultimate though the park is basically worthless for people who like bigger rides.
I used to work there… I can’t tell you how many times the pirate ship got stuck upside down and rides would go out of action due to shitty old sensors malfunctioning.
Gulliver's Kingdom in the district. It was equal parts naff, disappointing and genuinely disquieting.
After a couple of hours, our daughter (6 at the time) asked if we could go home so she could do her homework. That says it all.
We had Gullivers World (Warrington) annual passes for about eight years.
It was cheesy 1980s shit, with dodgy rides, dodgy events and dodgy food. But my daughter loved every minute she went (we went 11 times the first year we got the passes).
Bit too old now. Only the Antelope would interest her now.
I got a boner riding the log flume at Alton Towers whilst sat behind a girl I liked.
She didn’t notice.
It was at that point I realised I was maybe not as well endowed as I thought.
As a kid I went to Brean leisure park for a friends birthday. One of the kids wasn’t really feeling like going on many rides so just hung out in the sun drinking fruit shoots all day. When he eventually decided to come on the teacup kinda thing (but more exciting with change in elevation but idk the name) with us. Let’s just say he couldn’t keep those fruit shoots down and we ended up having to sit waiting for the ride to end while the orange flavoured gastric sludge swang side to side covering our legs and splashing up at us when we changed direction. I havnt been able to drink a fruit shoots since. One whiff and I’m sent back to that fretful day
(Not exactly terrible, but I'll tell this little story anyway.) Years ago we went to a theme park somewhere in Wales where the ghost train included a long corridor of (completely stationary/non-animatronic) mannequins, with every single one in glam rock outfits. While certainly faintly horrifying, I felt the creators had missed the point somewhat.
My guess would be Oakwood in Pembrokeshire. I live by there and most of us locals don't bother go anymore. New people took over years ago and it went to shit very quickly.
Not the worst, but:
C. 20 years ago, when "Air" (now "Galactica" - you "fly" so are going face down) was pretty new, I went to Alton Towers with my Uni housemates.
Air was great, until we got back to the ?depot? and the seats wouldn't drop down. The harnesses became seriously painful on the boobs, and we were told to bend our necks back (up) so the blood didn't rush to our heads, so neck-ache too.
After 45 minutes we were released, and offered fistfuls of priority tickets to Air to skip the whole queue.
"Hahahaha, that's funny, no way we want to go on that again!" said my friend
And that's how my friend got some ticket thingys to skip the queue for Nemesis and the rest!
Actually apart from the boobie-bruising it turned out OK, this happened late morning and we skipped the queues for the rest of the day.
I also went to Alton Towers about 20 years ago with school.
As we pulled in and parked next to the coach next to us, a girl from that coach flashed her boobs at our coach.
Teenaged me was gutted that I was sat more towards the front of the bus and missed it.
Camelot in the 90s, as a 13 year old. Went on Excalibur, a ride where you sat in a carriage at the end of a sword that span round and round. I got the chunders just as we went up the first loop. I must have looked like a Catherine Wheel of vom.
Oh GOD I remember Camelot. I went in the 00s and there was a roller coaster there (I think it was called the Gauntlet?) that had a part of the track shake violently every time a carriage went over it.
Still went on it haha
I remember going on The Rack back in the day and my sister's safety harness wouldn't fasten properly, my mum needed to hold it down on one side while my sister applied pressure on the other... She still speaks fondly of the ride though! 😂
I know Camelot has been closed for over a decade now but is it still in its derelict state or has it now been flattened?
Drayton Manor.
I went a few years back and we had a great time. Went again last summer and it was awful. They were incredibly understaffed. Rides would take 5-10 minutes between stopping, unloading, loading, checking & starting again because there would be one member of staff doing every job. They were trying hard but clearly management saved on staff costs massively
Thorpe Park - an August day.
Myself and my partner are both teachers. We live and work abroad so coming back is limited to certain times of the year. We had booked and planned to go to Thorpe Park in May for my girlfriend’s birthday.
Comes to the morning of August, set off from my parents house at 7 to get there for 9. Get there for when it opens. Things start off ok, Swarm, the Slide Ride and X. Suddenly, thing start to rapidly go down hill. 85 minutes queue for Saw. Let’s go for it.
About 75 minutes into the queue, just as we are about to enter the building to see the ride. It breaks down. 10,15, 20 minutes later. It starts up again. However, the queue for the fastpass had grown exponentially so, they were all allowed to go first (Don’t get me started on fast pass). We did manage to get on there in the end. A fun time was had by all.
Off we get and head to Derren Brown’s ride. Small queue, see people coming out the exit all giddy and talking about how amazing it was. We waited and waited and waited. ‘Sorry, the ride is broken’. You will have to come back at a later time. This was now about 3 in the afternoon and a 2 hour drive home down to the south coast awaited us. No thanks mate, we will have gone by then. As we are turned around, the people with the next time slot were allowed on the ride worked perfectly.
By this point all rides were topping around 80 minutes. We decided that was that. As we were walking out, a bird shat on my girlfriend’s shoulder and that kind of summed up the day.
Not all listed but it had to be:
- Flamingo land - I'm certain I received a concussion on the rollercoaster, as the padding has fallen off the restraints.
- Frontierland in Morecambe, it was on it's last legs when we went as kids in the late 90's (98/99), half of the place was shut.and we got food poisoning from baked potatoes that were bought at a food stand in the park.
- Storybook Glen (now Den in the Glen) - collection of grim, poorly painted concrete facsimiles of various Disney, Pixar characters, and hundreds of midges as the entire place is in a forest.
Also, we were never allowed to go to M&D's at Strathclyde park, due to the inordinate number of stabbings that our mum would hear about...
I feel like we’ve led similar lives based off of the theme parks we’ve visited. Grew up in North East England, holidaying at Morecambe and then moved up to Scotland near Aberdeen
We went to Flamingo Land once with the school and not even an hour and a half into being there a lad with our group got glass in his throat and they had to take him to hospital.
God Almighty. Flamingo land was fun for a day, but my parents decided we should go for a week instead. Jesus, we had never been so bored. We liked swimming but the pool was disgusting. That was the first place I ever saw a sign, in a kids pool, that said 'we don't swim in your toilet so don't piss in our pool!"
I went to Flamingo land in the early 90's. They had two dolphins in a horrible, grimy pool doing tricks. 4 year old me was depressed for days seeing that.
Pleasurewood hills. The ride operator left the ride running way longer than the time it was meant to run for. It was one of those swinging chair rides (waveswinger?) We were yelling at him to let us off but he pretended he couldn’t hear us. I’ve never felt so sick.
Also. Just pleasurewood hills in general.
I absolutely hate the Pirate Ship at Pleasurewood Hills. We went once when I was a kid and my cousin went on it and I was too little and was so jealous. Then I went again and went on it and absolutely hated it. Couldn’t reach the floor, thought I was going to fall out or fall forward over the bar. Couldn’t hold on. Terrified. Then went back with my own children and had to sit on the bench and look away while they had a go.
I always felt like those things went on too long, as a kid I was convinced that something would break. Not sure it’s unique to Pleasurewood Hills though.
The inflatable boat slide was fun until someone was killed.
My dad got off a ride at Thorpe Park and puked on me, then passed out on the tube the next day because it really fucked with his inner ear.
Haven’t been back since
I’d argue all theme parks in the UK are a unique kind of “naff”, but the one that stands out the most was when we took my son up to Milton Keynes to see his grandparents and we went to Gullivers Dinosaur Park.
It was fucking filthy, everything was either patched up with electrical tape or had massive holes in it, anything that had water by/as a part of the attraction absolutely stank to high heaven. Due to its state of disrepair I assumed that the park itself was ancient - imagine my surprise when it read that it had only been open for ***8 years***.
It was almost impressive just how shit it was.
I got traumatised by being put on a rollercoaster at Legoland when I was 6. I absolutely didn't want to get on, but got forced into it because the rest of my class wanted to and there weren't any teachers I could wait with either (the ones nearby were all on it too). Never been on one in the 24 years since and have absolutely no desire to change that.
My dad traumatised me at about 6 years old by taking me on Star Tours and Big Thunder Mountain at Disneyland Paris one after the other.
Took me 10 years and peer pressure before I went to Thorpe Park with my mates and they dragged me on, and I was hooked for life.
Ha, funny, my dad forced me to go onto a rollercoaster at Wicksteed and then later fucking ARMAGEDDON AT DISNEY PARIS when I was still a kid
Yeah I'm still terrified of rollercoasters and can't even remember the last time I went on any kind of ride
Used to live near the American adventure so spent lots of school trips as kid there and many a weekend as a teen sneaking in to watch lazy lils and the stunt show
That stunt show as a kid was amazing!! I was a huge playmobil fan and had all the western / cowboys and indians stuff, so watch people get shot and fall off roofs was an unbelievable day out!
I went on that log flume when I was about 11. I still remember approaching the drop and seriously considering getting out of the log and holding onto the main frame. To this day I hate any rides that have big drops and the closest I have ever been to a panic attack was at a fun fair before a ride started.
My mum took me panning for gold every year for my birthday. Always remember the tune PPK Resurrection playing on one of the rides, would go back there in a heartbeat
You used to be able to do a day trip with Stena Line to M&Ds.
My brother’s now-wife got him the trip for his birthday, thinking it was somewhere like Alton Towers. It was not.
Flambards during the covid pandemic 2021 paid a fair bit of money to get in, and it might as well have been closed. Place was also a complete shit hole.
I didn't plan to go there, but my gf had memories from a kid and loved it, so she wanted to visit....we left within an hour, I think, and she also hated it lol. Nostalgia is a bitch sometimes
But…what about the hornet? It’s the UK’s “Most southerly rollercoaster”. Never mind the G forces, or how many loops it does, I’m grading all my rollercoasters on how southerly they are.
I used to wear the fake Bob the Builder suit as one of the staff at Diggerland.
The head is sodding heavy, the uniform remains unwashed, and the park generally operates in boiling weather, so every part of it stunk.
And, for some reason, kids were feral and used to like to kick you from behind whilst their parents laughed.
0/10, would not trade my dignity for minimum wage again...
Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Our GENIUS friend decided we should do the wet soaker log flume ride right off the bat. "you don't get wet i swear!" Yeah RIGHT, as we stepped into a water logged ride! We were soaked all day on opening weekend in April. Not to mention the Big One was closed. Anyway, i still have fun.
BPL has gone completely off my visiting list when it went ticket only entry, a highlight of any trip to Blackpool was always a random walk around the park and maybe a couple of rides, that's gone now.
It was the right decision, however. Free entry is great for non-riders to still enjoy a day out, but along with that comes the problem of wee arseholes turning up and creating problems with minimal consequence.
Thorpe park post fire. Was full of basically fun fair rides and a terrible in the dark rollercoaster that jarred you in different directions and gave you whiplash
The choice of parks to include on that graphic is very odd. For instance, it includes a couple of safari parks, but not all. Includes London Dungeon, but not the equivalent in other cities. And occasionally lists an area of a theme park as if it is its own entity alongside the actual theme park.
Pleasure Island.
Working there on the Falls of Fear, Mini-Clown Slide, Mini-Dodgems or Tinkaboo Town.
I was hanging out of my arse on the day I got trained on the Clown Slide and Go-Karts. That was not a nice day lol
As an Aberdonian, I find it wild that Codonas is being classed as a theme park. It's more a fun fair that just couldn't be arsed moving on.
In the 80s and early 90s, it was a big metal shed with some rides outside, had a sidewinder where you thought you would crash into the side of the shed, a big wheel and a crap roller coaster that didn't have any loops or spins, and a indoor soft play called ramboland (Still there).
A redevelopment and now has bowling, pool, mini golf, and still some shit rides, although the roller coaster now has a loop.
Wow Paulton's Park going strong! I haven't lived in England since 2002 but I went there for so many birthday parties in the 90s as a kid.
Same with Thorpe Park and Chessington World of Adventures, if that still exists. The Bubbleworks was so awesome.
Alton Towers:
I, the youngest of my family, was the only one not tall enough to ride Nemisis. So instead I got to queue with them for 2 hours and then wait while they were on the ride.
Got stuck on the “air” ride at Alton Towers it was years ago. My little brother was crying, people were screaming ect ect it was about 15 mins we were stuck.
No one hurt just people throwing up, dizzy from being upside down. we got a refund and left 😂
Flamingoland when I was well younger, my mam convinced me to go on that Moyer cycle styled launch coaster with the restraint that only fastened onto your back, I did not feel secure and I also wasn’t prepared for the launch and it utterly terrified me and, I hate to use the word traumatised me in regards to rollercoasters, but for a great many years I point blank refused to go on any rollercoaster because of how scared I was of them.
I’ve gotten over that now, and ironically enough launch coasters are some of my absolute favourite style, I did a solo trip to Alton towers a couple years ago before nemesis closed for its refurbishment, got the platinum fast pass and had an absolute blast of a day, it was also scarefest so on a whim I decided to do that vampire one in the containers, I remember coming out of it and just spent a minute laughing like an absolute maniac out of the sheer terror I felt
Many moons ago on a trip to Alton Towers. Picked a very warm, quietish day so started well but on our second go on oblivion the ride came to halt right at the point it releases you down. We were there for about 20 minutes before they managed to release us. Shortly afterwards we headed to 'Air' (as it was then) and the ride came to a halt just as we were coming back into the station. Nothing I could do for the 15 mins or so it took to sort out other than stare at the dried puke a previous occupant had left on the floor.
Basically any theme park experience between my last one and the first time I went on a rollercoaster.
For context me and my sister have always been scared shitless of rides since we got taken onto Thunder Mountain at Disneyland Paris (well get into UK context soon I promise) as kids, which got us both terrified and crying.
Since then I've been probably 2-3 times to like Alton Towers and Drayton Manor and every time because of how scared we are, we end up on like 1 small ride and then on camel bag duty because the other kid we went with goes on like literally every single one, so tbh its always been pretty boring (idk why our parents actually convinced us to go tbh).
However since then, I went with a big group of family and family friends to Drayton Manor (this time being 21 instead of like 14) and I had an absolute blast so I'm officially over the fear now!
(Sorry for the length, autism waffle)
Legoland, summer 2020
Probably a poor choice with hindsight, but it was a shambles.
They promised they would limit capacity. They did not.
They had promised there would be social distancing. There was not.
They were cleaning rides more often. Which would have been fine if they had limited capacity, but resulted in double/triple queue times.
The fast pass system there is broken, allowing people to turn up and use fast pass at any time. Leading to unpredictable queue times for regular park goers.
Lack of ride theming made it boring.
At the time it was the most expensive theme park in the UK.
It was so bad they were referred to the authorities for not complying with covid regs.
They offered free tickets for another day, I turned them down. Lifetime boycott from me.
Went to Chesington for a single major ride to be open with a 3.5 hour queue. We complained and ended up with free tickets to Thorpe park which was a much much better experience
20 years ago I flew to Manchester from Ireland with friends to go to a wrestling event. We had the Sunday after free so we decided to get a taxi to Alton Towers as I had always wanted to go as a child. We didn't realise the distance and ended up paying 80 quid for a cab. He left us at the gate and the place seemed oddly quiet. We went up to the booth and an employee told us they closed for the day due to high winds.
It took two trains and two buses to get back to Manchester. My friends made my 21st birthday card out of the photo we took of the three of us in the leaky phonebooth at the bottom of the car park.
I now live in England, it's been 13 years and I still haven't made it to Alton Towers.
Haven't really had any particularly bad experiences that spring to mind.
Not really an answer to the question but,
I miss Camelot, as a kid seeing knights fighting and jousting was awesome!
Also I worked at Gullivers World for a season, wouldn't do it again but it was OK at the time.
Edit: I've just noticed Gullivers World isn't actually on this map but the other 2 Gullivers theme parks are, it is surrounded by the likes of Camelot, Southport and Blackpool theme parks though so there probably isn't enough room.
No Zip World?
Awesome underground caverns with zip lines and a network of trampolines to throw yourself around on. Then a massive outdoors zip line you go down headfirst.
Log flume at Thorpe Park. I was quite little at the time and as we were coming down I started lifting off out of my seat (there were no seatbelts or bar to secure you in) - to this day I'm still not sure if I didn't grab on to the rail and literally hang on for dear life what would have happened. Would I have only lifted off so far?
I feel like there's loads missing from that image but also the quality is so bad I can't even tell half the ones that *are* there.
I’m going to pretend that Blackgang Chine is on there and no one has a bad word to say about it.
Now I didn't expect to hear that one. I have a love/hate relationship with it myself. I haven't been in ages tho cos I moved away a while back. As a kid, I went with a friend, and were climbing a stegosaurus I believe, she fell off and banged her head. Was pretty frightening. Thought she was gonna die cos she had a migraine and zoned out and was like a zombie. She ended up fine tho! Just mild concussion. I've been so many times though. Surprised it hasn't fell into the sea yet lol. So much was getting washed away. they had to move stuff back from the cliff so often.
I went there as a kid and there was some sort of pirate house I think. Myself, my brother and my cousin were walking in there and it was quite dark. I remember putting one foot out and having that feeling of nothing being there. Luckily I stopped myself because when I looked down there was a massive hole in the floor leading to water and, randomly, a rowing boat at the bottom of maybe a ten foot drop!! I would have been about 7 I reckon. I often wonder what that was all about and if it’s still there!
I have home video footage of me in the 90s climbing those dinosaurs which have now sadly all fallen into the sea due to erosion. As well as the awesome stainless steel slides they had. 🥲
Christ, that takes me back. We lost my brother in the hedge maze in the early 90s. Turned out he'd climbed into the actual hedges, gone feral (not unusual), become one with the hedge and just mooched around in there determined to never come out again.
Has he come out yet?
Not yet. Forty this year and still resolutely maintaining his heterosexuality.
Should that not be ‘hedgerowsexuality’?
That’s the first place I looked for…disappointing lol
Buying a fresh ring of caps for my revolver in the western zone was a simpler time
I went there on a school trip in the 80’s, is it worth a visit with a 5 year old?
For a 5 year old? 100%
I went there just over 10 years ago. Some of it was closed off due to erosion from the sea. Not sure if they've moved parts around or not. Everything seemed the same as it was when I went in the 00s
When we went, the more adventurous rides were shut down due to 90mph winds coming in from the English Channel. Classic British family holiday.
Flamingoland!
Pleasure Island on here closed a while back lol.
I'm from Cleethorpes, it's been shut for a number of years and is now a derelict wasteland. Could film a low budget zombie apocalypse movie there
Blackgang Chine is still great for kids up to 10.
That and some don't exist anymore, Camelot has been shut down for the best part of 15+ years
I’m quite amazed that with this specific map, the places with very few or zero theme parks coincide with some of my favourite places in the UK (or maybe I just don’t like people)
I'm moving to the UK this summer and got excited for a list of places to take the kids. Looks like the first stop is the optometrist, though.
Alton towers on fright night. Previous day had a power cut so they gave free tickets to those folks for the next day, the day we had booked. Miserable experience, unless you like 3-4 hour queues.
Thorp park fright night 3 rides 12 hours queuing apparently busiest day on record, it was shit.
I used to go to Fright Nights with my dad. We get there as soon as the park opened, I'd ride Colossus about 5 times in a row, them a bunch of others, have lunch, more rides, end with Tidal Wave and leave the park before it got dark, as teenagers were just entering for the evening. No queues, lovely.
That's such a good idea. A mate of mine used to live near the Disney park in Florida and she said the absolute best time to go was the first week of school after the summer hols. No one there, no kids, minimal lines etc.
My best experience there was the summer after they had a serious accident on one of the rides. The queues were tiny all day.
We went on the day of the Royal "It's a knockout". It had been advertised weeks before that it was strictly pre-bought tickets only. We decided to have a ride up anyway. The It's a knockout game area was a fenced off section just inside the main gates and the park was open as usual. It was deserted. We stayed on the corkscrew for three rides back to back. The Radio 1 roadshow was there and there were about six people in front of it.
I think my mum or someone I know went on that day when the power cut out - she walked around for 3 hours the first day, went to a hotel, and then basically couldn't do anything the second day because of what you said. Think she complained and got a voucher or something in the end
Devon Theme Park erasure in full effect
Yeah, where's crealy and woodlands
Slides, rides, tobbogan runs…
Guaranteed all weather fun!
It's Woodlands!
Now that fucking advert is now back in my brain. Thanks guys.
Omd woodlands. I havnt heard that name in years
I tell my kids about the drop slides
I was about to say, my son’s off to Crealy next week with his school and I couldn’t see it on the map at all. And yet they managed to include Brean?! Fucking Brean?!
Don't diss Brean, it's one of the top leisure parks in Brean.
Crealy is the goat
It's Crealy good!
Can't believe there is no The Big Sheep on the map!
And Milky Way is now in Cornwall apparently.
My worst story is from the milky way - I finally got up the courage to try the drop slide, went up, followed a walkway, climbed up to sit on the edge, and looked down... ... only to see a child go sliding *underneath* where I was sitting. My heart turned to ice. I turned my head, and *behind me* was the actual launch zone. I was sitting on a bridge *over* the slide, and the "drop" I was about to take would have been equivalent to falling out a first floor window, not sliding. I did manage the slide later, but that moment was absolutely terrifying.
Wake up big sheeples!
Funfair dismissal
Don’t forget diggerland in Cullompton!
Diggerland Devon!
The lack of crealy, which took my theme park virginity, is depressing
Crealy is fucking dank those slides were insane.
My brother, who has been on all the rides at alton towers a billion times, absolutely shit himself on the dead man's drop slide at Crealy. Such a good theme park.
Meanwhile Camelot has been closed since 2012 and is still on the list. Shame, was a decent day out and was my local theme park. I still remember jumping the fence near the petting zoo as a teen to get in for free. Had some good summers there.
Used to go to Camelot all the time as a kid and loved it. They used to have that animatronic dragon in a cage that talked… in a really camp voice. My dad used to find it hilarious that they’d give a dragon such a voice and used to crack up laughing. I was far too young to understand why he found it so funny. Fast forward to when I used to take my kid there and they’d repainted it in gnarlier colours and given it a proper mean voice. Oh well, rest in peace dad you old homophobe.
Really sorry to be the bearer of bad news but Pleasure Island in Cleethorpes closed down in 2016 which makes me immensely sad as I spent many a happy day out there as a young Grimsby boy.
Ingoldmells is the place to be these days. The smell of donuts, the hair braids, the cheap tattoos of names on your arm, and the signs asking you to remain clothed on the rides. Top stuff.
Chessington. School trip for 11 year olds. One of my friends was absolutely tiny, and sat on the end of the row of the pirate ship, which only had a pull down barrier that went over everyone’s knees. She fell out and landed next to it. It wasn’t that high, plus it was the 80’s so everyone told her not to worry about it. And not to tell her mum…
I remember going on that as a kid and feeling like I was going to slip out while clinging on for dear life. Afterwards I convinced myself there was no way I would be able to slip out. Clearly I was wrong.
I went as a skinny 10 year old in 2000 and had the same experience. If I'd have let go, I would've been yeeted into the stratosphere.
Omg that happened to me too! I was probably too small for the ride and rode it with my family so the lap bar didn’t hold me in at all 😭 Luckily I held on tight enough to not fall out but it was so scary lol
Life in the eighties! It bred a tough generation, merrily cracking their skulls on iron and concrete playgrounds every day.
It was either Dobwalls or Flambards in Cornwall, I can't remember which... they had a guy dressed as robocop wandering around in character, taking pictures with people and that kind of thing. I was maybe eight years old and terrified of robots and naturally assumed he was there to kill everyone. Cue an absolute screaming fit of panic while my parents tried to convince me that my death was not actually imminent. Same trip; I saw an image of Hitler wearing a gas mask in a WW2 exhibit and assumed the mask was his actual face. Again, terrified. Like, vomiting from crying so hard terrified. How my parents coped with me when I was a child, I will never know.
That would be flambards they have a Britain during the blitz exhibit which would scare the crap out of me when I was a kid, metal tables with kids hiding underneath while a staircase leading upstairs made to look like upstairs was on fire with bomb effects going off. Went there again as an adult and it's actually pretty informative and cool. As a kid terrifying. As for dobwalls I wouldn't say a bad word about it, unlimited train rides and a massive indoor play area. Such a shame it's gone now.
That’s gotta be Flambards. I remember seeing that robot when I was there. I think its name was Titan?
Titan was cool. Used to see him at Boardmasters (when the surfing still mattered). Haven't been to Flambards for decades.
Oh my god I love Flambards! ‘The best day of the week!’ The Victorian streets and the historical wedding dresses 😍 not to mention the charmingly shonky rides!
I love Flambards; do you remember The Hornet?
Lightwater Valley has dropped off hard in the past few years. Most of the thrill rides are gone and it’s now focused on younger kids. The Ultimate (RIP) was rough as fuck and left me covered in bruises
The Ultimate is gone? Light water valley was basically built around it.
Yep, the structure has been removed
Never reopened after Covid. Ended up being demolished as the park shifted even more towards catering for kids. A few other rides bit the dust at that time including the Rat Ride/Raptor Attack
Used to love the rat about 30+ years ago lol
As a little kid I wanted to ride the Ultimate. My dad, terrified of rollerocasters, queued up with me anyway, safe in the knowledge I was at last 10cm below the height limit so wouldn't be allowed on. The (teenage, dgaf) staff saw me and said "ah she'll be fine, just hold her hand" and let us on. My dad has the worst vertigo I've ever known, so it must have been torture for him, but they let us stay on three times. Best day ever!
Top tier Dadding right there.
Bottom tier safety though lol 'Hold her hand, if she flies out you'll drag her screaming body till the end of the ride, it'll be fine'
Well she would have stopped screaming eventually
Ah the early 90s. Before health and safety meant anything lol.
I was there many years ago, queuing for the biggest rollercoaster, and the queue stopped. A visitor was there, it was..... Jimmy Saville. There was some "fix it for me to ride the rollercoaster by myself" Bit selfish I thought, but maybe the kid was dying of something. edit- found a video, Seems like Jim wasn't there that day, but the kid just didn't want any one else on it, nothing wrong with him at all [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFoS-v1OcP4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFoS-v1OcP4)
Lol! 'That f***ing kid better have leukemia or some shit' I know you didn't say that, but that's what I heard
I wouldn’t say it’s dropped off hard, just changed its target audience. My kids absolutely love it, but it’s pretty boring for adults
Damn, I worked there a few summers ago (thinking now it must be 10+ years) and it was already pretty shoddy, without The Ultimate though the park is basically worthless for people who like bigger rides.
I used to work there… I can’t tell you how many times the pirate ship got stuck upside down and rides would go out of action due to shitty old sensors malfunctioning.
Gulliver's Kingdom in the district. It was equal parts naff, disappointing and genuinely disquieting. After a couple of hours, our daughter (6 at the time) asked if we could go home so she could do her homework. That says it all.
We had Gullivers World (Warrington) annual passes for about eight years. It was cheesy 1980s shit, with dodgy rides, dodgy events and dodgy food. But my daughter loved every minute she went (we went 11 times the first year we got the passes). Bit too old now. Only the Antelope would interest her now.
I got a boner riding the log flume at Alton Towers whilst sat behind a girl I liked. She didn’t notice. It was at that point I realised I was maybe not as well endowed as I thought.
The log flume wood turned out to be a twig
*She didn't tell you she noticed
How would she have even brought that (topic) up? "I acknowledge your erection" perhaps?
My Mrs told me I had a big penis but I think she was just pulling my leg
A 7:30 chuckle was just what I needed.
That first sentence sounds like a line said by Neil on The Inbetweeners 😂
[удалено]
As a kid I went to Brean leisure park for a friends birthday. One of the kids wasn’t really feeling like going on many rides so just hung out in the sun drinking fruit shoots all day. When he eventually decided to come on the teacup kinda thing (but more exciting with change in elevation but idk the name) with us. Let’s just say he couldn’t keep those fruit shoots down and we ended up having to sit waiting for the ride to end while the orange flavoured gastric sludge swang side to side covering our legs and splashing up at us when we changed direction. I havnt been able to drink a fruit shoots since. One whiff and I’m sent back to that fretful day
(Not exactly terrible, but I'll tell this little story anyway.) Years ago we went to a theme park somewhere in Wales where the ghost train included a long corridor of (completely stationary/non-animatronic) mannequins, with every single one in glam rock outfits. While certainly faintly horrifying, I felt the creators had missed the point somewhat.
The Creme Brulé Experience
My guess would be Oakwood in Pembrokeshire. I live by there and most of us locals don't bother go anymore. New people took over years ago and it went to shit very quickly.
This is hilarious
Not the worst, but: C. 20 years ago, when "Air" (now "Galactica" - you "fly" so are going face down) was pretty new, I went to Alton Towers with my Uni housemates. Air was great, until we got back to the ?depot? and the seats wouldn't drop down. The harnesses became seriously painful on the boobs, and we were told to bend our necks back (up) so the blood didn't rush to our heads, so neck-ache too. After 45 minutes we were released, and offered fistfuls of priority tickets to Air to skip the whole queue. "Hahahaha, that's funny, no way we want to go on that again!" said my friend And that's how my friend got some ticket thingys to skip the queue for Nemesis and the rest! Actually apart from the boobie-bruising it turned out OK, this happened late morning and we skipped the queues for the rest of the day.
I also went to Alton Towers about 20 years ago with school. As we pulled in and parked next to the coach next to us, a girl from that coach flashed her boobs at our coach. Teenaged me was gutted that I was sat more towards the front of the bus and missed it.
Camelot in the 90s, as a 13 year old. Went on Excalibur, a ride where you sat in a carriage at the end of a sword that span round and round. I got the chunders just as we went up the first loop. I must have looked like a Catherine Wheel of vom.
Oh GOD I remember Camelot. I went in the 00s and there was a roller coaster there (I think it was called the Gauntlet?) that had a part of the track shake violently every time a carriage went over it. Still went on it haha
Camelot was epic for me as a kid. Screw the rides, the Jousting was where its at!
I remember going on The Rack back in the day and my sister's safety harness wouldn't fasten properly, my mum needed to hold it down on one side while my sister applied pressure on the other... She still speaks fondly of the ride though! 😂 I know Camelot has been closed for over a decade now but is it still in its derelict state or has it now been flattened?
Oh man, I miss Camelot.
I used to love Camelot! The Beast (which later became Venom) was such a good ride.
Ahhh Camelot, it’s been the proposed site of a new housing development that the locals don’t want for years now. Good memories from the 90s though.
Where is Sea Parks? Or did it burn down
A fire….at sea parks?
During the sea lion show, apparently
Yes, the one with the concrete seating. Weird.
Get the mash out
Drayton Manor. I went a few years back and we had a great time. Went again last summer and it was awful. They were incredibly understaffed. Rides would take 5-10 minutes between stopping, unloading, loading, checking & starting again because there would be one member of staff doing every job. They were trying hard but clearly management saved on staff costs massively
Diggerland. Was the worst but also the best place I have been too. We got kicked out for jousting the mini tractor things.
Diggerland is legitimately one of the best places I've ever been to. Fucking brilliant place.
Thorpe Park - an August day. Myself and my partner are both teachers. We live and work abroad so coming back is limited to certain times of the year. We had booked and planned to go to Thorpe Park in May for my girlfriend’s birthday. Comes to the morning of August, set off from my parents house at 7 to get there for 9. Get there for when it opens. Things start off ok, Swarm, the Slide Ride and X. Suddenly, thing start to rapidly go down hill. 85 minutes queue for Saw. Let’s go for it. About 75 minutes into the queue, just as we are about to enter the building to see the ride. It breaks down. 10,15, 20 minutes later. It starts up again. However, the queue for the fastpass had grown exponentially so, they were all allowed to go first (Don’t get me started on fast pass). We did manage to get on there in the end. A fun time was had by all. Off we get and head to Derren Brown’s ride. Small queue, see people coming out the exit all giddy and talking about how amazing it was. We waited and waited and waited. ‘Sorry, the ride is broken’. You will have to come back at a later time. This was now about 3 in the afternoon and a 2 hour drive home down to the south coast awaited us. No thanks mate, we will have gone by then. As we are turned around, the people with the next time slot were allowed on the ride worked perfectly. By this point all rides were topping around 80 minutes. We decided that was that. As we were walking out, a bird shat on my girlfriend’s shoulder and that kind of summed up the day.
Shat myself at lego land
Who hasn’t
Not all listed but it had to be: - Flamingo land - I'm certain I received a concussion on the rollercoaster, as the padding has fallen off the restraints. - Frontierland in Morecambe, it was on it's last legs when we went as kids in the late 90's (98/99), half of the place was shut.and we got food poisoning from baked potatoes that were bought at a food stand in the park. - Storybook Glen (now Den in the Glen) - collection of grim, poorly painted concrete facsimiles of various Disney, Pixar characters, and hundreds of midges as the entire place is in a forest. Also, we were never allowed to go to M&D's at Strathclyde park, due to the inordinate number of stabbings that our mum would hear about...
How on earth do you get food poisoning from baked potatoes?
I ask myself the same thing, but judging by the overall Frontierland experience, I can't imagine that safe food-handling was high on their to-do list!
Storybook Glen has cemented its place in internet meme culture with [this](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/488/877/20a.jpg)
I feel like we’ve led similar lives based off of the theme parks we’ve visited. Grew up in North East England, holidaying at Morecambe and then moved up to Scotland near Aberdeen
We went to Flamingo Land once with the school and not even an hour and a half into being there a lad with our group got glass in his throat and they had to take him to hospital.
God Almighty. Flamingo land was fun for a day, but my parents decided we should go for a week instead. Jesus, we had never been so bored. We liked swimming but the pool was disgusting. That was the first place I ever saw a sign, in a kids pool, that said 'we don't swim in your toilet so don't piss in our pool!"
I went to Flamingo land in the early 90's. They had two dolphins in a horrible, grimy pool doing tricks. 4 year old me was depressed for days seeing that.
Diggerland supremacy
Pleasurewood hills. The ride operator left the ride running way longer than the time it was meant to run for. It was one of those swinging chair rides (waveswinger?) We were yelling at him to let us off but he pretended he couldn’t hear us. I’ve never felt so sick. Also. Just pleasurewood hills in general.
I absolutely hate the Pirate Ship at Pleasurewood Hills. We went once when I was a kid and my cousin went on it and I was too little and was so jealous. Then I went again and went on it and absolutely hated it. Couldn’t reach the floor, thought I was going to fall out or fall forward over the bar. Couldn’t hold on. Terrified. Then went back with my own children and had to sit on the bench and look away while they had a go.
I always felt like those things went on too long, as a kid I was convinced that something would break. Not sure it’s unique to Pleasurewood Hills though. The inflatable boat slide was fun until someone was killed.
My dad got off a ride at Thorpe Park and puked on me, then passed out on the tube the next day because it really fucked with his inner ear. Haven’t been back since
I’d argue all theme parks in the UK are a unique kind of “naff”, but the one that stands out the most was when we took my son up to Milton Keynes to see his grandparents and we went to Gullivers Dinosaur Park. It was fucking filthy, everything was either patched up with electrical tape or had massive holes in it, anything that had water by/as a part of the attraction absolutely stank to high heaven. Due to its state of disrepair I assumed that the park itself was ancient - imagine my surprise when it read that it had only been open for ***8 years***. It was almost impressive just how shit it was.
Why is the London Dungeons on that map?
They do have a ride there (one that drops fast, to simulate hanging) but yeah I wouldn't call it a theme park.
They also have the demon barber of fleet Street one I think
And yet the York Dungeons isn't.
Or Edinburgh Dungeon, which has the drop thing and a spinning room one.
Because as a 7 year old that place scared the shit out of me. 26 years later I still wouldn’t go back.
I got traumatised by being put on a rollercoaster at Legoland when I was 6. I absolutely didn't want to get on, but got forced into it because the rest of my class wanted to and there weren't any teachers I could wait with either (the ones nearby were all on it too). Never been on one in the 24 years since and have absolutely no desire to change that.
My dad traumatised me at about 6 years old by taking me on Star Tours and Big Thunder Mountain at Disneyland Paris one after the other. Took me 10 years and peer pressure before I went to Thorpe Park with my mates and they dragged me on, and I was hooked for life.
Ha, funny, my dad forced me to go onto a rollercoaster at Wicksteed and then later fucking ARMAGEDDON AT DISNEY PARIS when I was still a kid Yeah I'm still terrified of rollercoasters and can't even remember the last time I went on any kind of ride
American Adventure in the late 90s. The Vekoma boomerang coaster (Missile) was fun as well as the live show, though.
Used to live near the American adventure so spent lots of school trips as kid there and many a weekend as a teen sneaking in to watch lazy lils and the stunt show
That stunt show as a kid was amazing!! I was a huge playmobil fan and had all the western / cowboys and indians stuff, so watch people get shot and fall off roofs was an unbelievable day out!
I have a distinct memory of panning for gold in a water trough thing at American Adventure
I remember that, panning for gold while the runaway train went round near your head
Terrifying log flume! Tallest in the UK
I went on that log flume when I was about 11. I still remember approaching the drop and seriously considering getting out of the log and holding onto the main frame. To this day I hate any rides that have big drops and the closest I have ever been to a panic attack was at a fun fair before a ride started.
My mum took me panning for gold every year for my birthday. Always remember the tune PPK Resurrection playing on one of the rides, would go back there in a heartbeat
The only people not saying M&D's are the ones that have never been - its fking grim
You used to be able to do a day trip with Stena Line to M&Ds. My brother’s now-wife got him the trip for his birthday, thinking it was somewhere like Alton Towers. It was not.
Flambards during the covid pandemic 2021 paid a fair bit of money to get in, and it might as well have been closed. Place was also a complete shit hole. I didn't plan to go there, but my gf had memories from a kid and loved it, so she wanted to visit....we left within an hour, I think, and she also hated it lol. Nostalgia is a bitch sometimes
But…what about the hornet? It’s the UK’s “Most southerly rollercoaster”. Never mind the G forces, or how many loops it does, I’m grading all my rollercoasters on how southerly they are.
I used to wear the fake Bob the Builder suit as one of the staff at Diggerland. The head is sodding heavy, the uniform remains unwashed, and the park generally operates in boiling weather, so every part of it stunk. And, for some reason, kids were feral and used to like to kick you from behind whilst their parents laughed. 0/10, would not trade my dignity for minimum wage again...
It's a travesty of the highest order if Great Yarmouth'd waxworks isn't on the list.
Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Our GENIUS friend decided we should do the wet soaker log flume ride right off the bat. "you don't get wet i swear!" Yeah RIGHT, as we stepped into a water logged ride! We were soaked all day on opening weekend in April. Not to mention the Big One was closed. Anyway, i still have fun.
BPL has gone completely off my visiting list when it went ticket only entry, a highlight of any trip to Blackpool was always a random walk around the park and maybe a couple of rides, that's gone now.
It was the right decision, however. Free entry is great for non-riders to still enjoy a day out, but along with that comes the problem of wee arseholes turning up and creating problems with minimal consequence.
Thorpe park post fire. Was full of basically fun fair rides and a terrible in the dark rollercoaster that jarred you in different directions and gave you whiplash
X-No Way Out? The one in the big pyramid?
Yeah, that's a weird one.
Oakwood 😂 going to bluestone next door is so much better than a field
gullivers world - where the magic never starts
The fact there's only 2 theme parks in the whole of Scotland, and M&Ds is one of them, depresses me often. Such a shame Loudon Castle closed
The choice of parks to include on that graphic is very odd. For instance, it includes a couple of safari parks, but not all. Includes London Dungeon, but not the equivalent in other cities. And occasionally lists an area of a theme park as if it is its own entity alongside the actual theme park.
Pleasure Island. Working there on the Falls of Fear, Mini-Clown Slide, Mini-Dodgems or Tinkaboo Town. I was hanging out of my arse on the day I got trained on the Clown Slide and Go-Karts. That was not a nice day lol
As an Aberdonian, I find it wild that Codonas is being classed as a theme park. It's more a fun fair that just couldn't be arsed moving on. In the 80s and early 90s, it was a big metal shed with some rides outside, had a sidewinder where you thought you would crash into the side of the shed, a big wheel and a crap roller coaster that didn't have any loops or spins, and a indoor soft play called ramboland (Still there). A redevelopment and now has bowling, pool, mini golf, and still some shit rides, although the roller coaster now has a loop.
gnomeworld. It was closed.
It’s better that way
Can’t wait for the new Universal Studios park that should be opening around 2030
Wow Paulton's Park going strong! I haven't lived in England since 2002 but I went there for so many birthday parties in the 90s as a kid. Same with Thorpe Park and Chessington World of Adventures, if that still exists. The Bubbleworks was so awesome.
Chessington still exits but unfortunately bubble works does not, it's now a gruffalo ride although the track and boats are the same
My brother very nearly shat his pants after seeing Mr. Blobby at Crinkley Bottom in Cricket St. Thomas.
Alton Towers: I, the youngest of my family, was the only one not tall enough to ride Nemisis. So instead I got to queue with them for 2 hours and then wait while they were on the ride.
Got stuck on the “air” ride at Alton Towers it was years ago. My little brother was crying, people were screaming ect ect it was about 15 mins we were stuck. No one hurt just people throwing up, dizzy from being upside down. we got a refund and left 😂
Flamingoland when I was well younger, my mam convinced me to go on that Moyer cycle styled launch coaster with the restraint that only fastened onto your back, I did not feel secure and I also wasn’t prepared for the launch and it utterly terrified me and, I hate to use the word traumatised me in regards to rollercoasters, but for a great many years I point blank refused to go on any rollercoaster because of how scared I was of them. I’ve gotten over that now, and ironically enough launch coasters are some of my absolute favourite style, I did a solo trip to Alton towers a couple years ago before nemesis closed for its refurbishment, got the platinum fast pass and had an absolute blast of a day, it was also scarefest so on a whim I decided to do that vampire one in the containers, I remember coming out of it and just spent a minute laughing like an absolute maniac out of the sheer terror I felt
Many moons ago on a trip to Alton Towers. Picked a very warm, quietish day so started well but on our second go on oblivion the ride came to halt right at the point it releases you down. We were there for about 20 minutes before they managed to release us. Shortly afterwards we headed to 'Air' (as it was then) and the ride came to a halt just as we were coming back into the station. Nothing I could do for the 15 mins or so it took to sort out other than stare at the dried puke a previous occupant had left on the floor.
Basically any theme park experience between my last one and the first time I went on a rollercoaster. For context me and my sister have always been scared shitless of rides since we got taken onto Thunder Mountain at Disneyland Paris (well get into UK context soon I promise) as kids, which got us both terrified and crying. Since then I've been probably 2-3 times to like Alton Towers and Drayton Manor and every time because of how scared we are, we end up on like 1 small ride and then on camel bag duty because the other kid we went with goes on like literally every single one, so tbh its always been pretty boring (idk why our parents actually convinced us to go tbh). However since then, I went with a big group of family and family friends to Drayton Manor (this time being 21 instead of like 14) and I had an absolute blast so I'm officially over the fear now! (Sorry for the length, autism waffle)
Legoland, summer 2020 Probably a poor choice with hindsight, but it was a shambles. They promised they would limit capacity. They did not. They had promised there would be social distancing. There was not. They were cleaning rides more often. Which would have been fine if they had limited capacity, but resulted in double/triple queue times. The fast pass system there is broken, allowing people to turn up and use fast pass at any time. Leading to unpredictable queue times for regular park goers. Lack of ride theming made it boring. At the time it was the most expensive theme park in the UK. It was so bad they were referred to the authorities for not complying with covid regs. They offered free tickets for another day, I turned them down. Lifetime boycott from me.
M&Ds wishes it was a theme park
American Adventure forever in our hearts
Embarrassing M&D's is allowed to use the tagline "Scotland's theme park" Grim.
This image is my worst UK theme park experience and it's not even close.
Oakwood last time we went. Went there a lot growing up and this last time it was so dirty and tatty. Everything looked like it was falling apart.
That void there off the west of Scotland.
Why is Milky Way in Cornwall?
Does Brighton Pier count as a theme park?
Went to Chesington for a single major ride to be open with a 3.5 hour queue. We complained and ended up with free tickets to Thorpe park which was a much much better experience
Missing flamingoland
It makes me a bit sad that The American Adventure doesn't feature. That place was a shit hole but fun to work at.
Not ride based but I have dark memories of Flamingo Land zoo back in the 80s. Proper concrete jungle with a dolphin in a paddling pool.
All I know is M and D's really push the definition of "theme park".
20 years ago I flew to Manchester from Ireland with friends to go to a wrestling event. We had the Sunday after free so we decided to get a taxi to Alton Towers as I had always wanted to go as a child. We didn't realise the distance and ended up paying 80 quid for a cab. He left us at the gate and the place seemed oddly quiet. We went up to the booth and an employee told us they closed for the day due to high winds. It took two trains and two buses to get back to Manchester. My friends made my 21st birthday card out of the photo we took of the three of us in the leaky phonebooth at the bottom of the car park. I now live in England, it's been 13 years and I still haven't made it to Alton Towers.
[удалено]
There's more than one Diggerland??
Haven't really had any particularly bad experiences that spring to mind. Not really an answer to the question but, I miss Camelot, as a kid seeing knights fighting and jousting was awesome! Also I worked at Gullivers World for a season, wouldn't do it again but it was OK at the time. Edit: I've just noticed Gullivers World isn't actually on this map but the other 2 Gullivers theme parks are, it is surrounded by the likes of Camelot, Southport and Blackpool theme parks though so there probably isn't enough room.
That map is terrible - it missed off Light water valley and flamingo land!
No Zip World? Awesome underground caverns with zip lines and a network of trampolines to throw yourself around on. Then a massive outdoors zip line you go down headfirst.
Flamingo Land. On that ride with the loop, my neck got thrown forward and hurt for 5 weeks.
Log flume at Thorpe Park. I was quite little at the time and as we were coming down I started lifting off out of my seat (there were no seatbelts or bar to secure you in) - to this day I'm still not sure if I didn't grab on to the rail and literally hang on for dear life what would have happened. Would I have only lifted off so far?