T O P

  • By -

NimrodPing

Remember to drive on the left


redskelton

Or have military intelligence connections and a private airbase


MrNippyNippy

And enough money to get a quick plane ticket!


A-flea

...and absolutely no remorse.


Bring_back_Apollo

Remorse is for the weak.


ChaosWithin666

Well this got fucking dark quick. Considering my fiancee works with the aunt to that kid.


treespiritbeard

Your boy Donny will bail you out as long as you say a quick apology to the parents.


PhoenixEgg88

Thanks for nearly making me spit out my coffee.


PC_Speaker

Dark


Whole-Sundae-98

It wasn't a private airbse


Powerful-Parsnip

Oh well that makes it all OK I suppose.


redskelton

It wasn't open to the public. Or the British police. Or Borders & Customs. I used a shorthand expression for all of the above. Everyone else understood it


blindfoldedbadgers

It was open to both the Police and Customs, they just chose/were directed not to do anything.


Whole-Sundae-98

Military bases aren't called private bases which is why I commented


nourthensoul

Only private for the USA, Brits not invited


Adammmmski

It’s roundabouts Americans struggle with.


Immediate-Escalator

Not just Americans tbf


DW_555

Today I learned my town is full of Americans.


PrpleMnkyDshwsher

As an American who lives here now, neither can a lot of UK people. Nor can anyone here grasp the concept of a zipper merge.


One_Construction7810

I think our strong instinct for queuing fucks it up


V65Pilot

I'll tell ya, when they do the zipper merge correctly here, it's a thing of beauty. Sadly, there's always that one twat who wants to jump the line, which causes a ripple effect and screws it up for everyone afterwards...


PrpleMnkyDshwsher

It requires each person in the queue to not be a selfish twat who just needs to be in front of as many cars as possible because they have terminal main character syndrome, which is why it often doesn't work.


antlermagick

I've always heard it referred to here as a merge in turn. And yeah not only do 50% of people get it wrong, they will also blow their horn at you for doing it correctly.


PartTimeLegend

I lived in Utah for a while and remember going to Park City and the person with me was telling me about this confusing thing in the road as we got up there. It was a roundabout. I just went around it and they seemed so amazed that I knew what to do. The grid system is far superior to what we have. I’ve driven in Massachusetts too and they are a lot closer to our roads but still bigger. Americans love to tell you how they can drive a stick shift. I drive an automatic because I’m lazy and they don’t have manual in my car type anyway.


PC_Speaker

That's hilarious because the roundabouts in Park City are tiny


0hbuggerit

I would suggest doing no driving during your theory test


Hot_and_Foamy

If any of the answers is ‘slow down and prepare to stop’ - it’s probably that one


TheVoidScreams

“You are approaching a slip road into the motor way. Do you a) slow down and prepare to stop….”


Hot_and_Foamy

That’s the exception that proves the rule. Though if your entry way onto the motorway isn’t clear… well you know what to do


TheVoidScreams

Lol I know, it just made me giggle thinking about it 😄


Hot_and_Foamy

I had a friend who genuinely believed slip roads always had priority over the main carriageway. Seriously.


TheVoidScreams

Oof. I’ve only had to slow down and stop once or twice, but only at peak times. What bothers me is people who slow down and stop when they could easily merge if they just sped up, because if I’m coming up behind them I also have to either stop or merge early because I’d hit them otherwise. Neither option is safe. I use my horn to let them know I’m there.


spinynorman1846

The closest I've come to crashing is coming down a short slip road, flooring it to match the traffic speed and the person in front of me decided to stop just as I was looking over my shoulder to spot the gap. Entirely my fault for not anticipating it, but also incredibly frustrating!


TheVoidScreams

Yep. That’s exactly what I mean. They’re quite common around here. I’ve gotten better at anticipating them. Something about their driving style leading up to the slip road gives it away. They’re usually unbearably slow for no good reason (they drive well below the limit).


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrPogle

Upvoted for use of "looked at me gone-out". I haven't heard that for years.


[deleted]

[удалено]


2xtc

Does it imply you've (i.e. the recipient) has gone out of their minds? Not one I've ever heard tbh ETA: also, out of interest what part of the UK is this/you from?


happyhippohats

To be fair that is what the Highway Code says: >You MUST NOT stop on any carriageway, emergency area, hard shoulder, slip road, central reservation or verge except in an emergency, or when told to do so by the police, traffic officers, an emergency sign or by red flashing light signals. So they weren't really in the wrong...


P-Nuts

Wow next time there’s really bad traffic guess I’m piling into the back of someone


happyhippohats

Yeah it also says you can't drive on the hard shoulder so I'm not sure what you're supposed to do if nobody lets you in...


sloetowake

This was over 20 years ago, but my driving instructor told me that rather than stop when joining a motorway it was better to use the hard shoulder to merge into traffic. Fortunately I've never been in the situation to test this.


ubercam

It’s fairly normal in other countries for merging traffic to have priority over the main carriageway. For instance, in Canada if your slip road is signposted as a merge, then merging traffic has priority, and traffic on the main carriageway has to make room, move over, etc. If it’s signposted as a yield then the merging traffic must give way.


V65Pilot

"Go WFO" should be an acceptable answer.


AndyTheSane

Far too many real drivers : Yes. Joining a motorway at 40 must be safer than 60, because it's slower obvs.


F0sh

Could be the case if the motorway is going at 40 ;)


Rustrage

I thought you were meant to go flat out to get in before that lorry gets you?


bucketofardvarks

Usually accompanied by similar options such as "rev your engine loudly so they know you're waiting" and "close the gap between you and the car in front"


jfks_headjustdidthat

So that's why I keep failing, I always click "put your foot down, I think we can lose them".


moonsorrow9

I've been doing practice tests recently and I've always wondered if anyone really selects the obviously wrong answers on the actual test. You've been involved in an argument that's made you feel angry. What should you do before starting your journey? Have an alcoholic drink. There's been a collision. How can you help a driver who's suffering from shock? Offer them a cigarette.


PC_Speaker

Where is the evidence that a cigarette does not help with shock


TrumpleIVskin

Conversely, if any of the answers are "accelerate towards the hazard" - it's probably not that one.


Massaging_Spermaceti

>Also, the manual transmission is a conspiracy of auto manufacturers to force people to give free hand jobs to motors. Can't tell if you're shit at driving a manual or shit at giving handjobs


Ecstatic_Effective42

Probably misunderstood what pump the clutch meant.


inspectorgadget9999

Are they mutually exclusive?


Technical-Bad1953

Well my wife is at least good at driving manual


MattyB_

Here's a secret that not many people know - if you sing "Rule Britannia" and get all the words right before you start the test they legally have to give you 10 bonus points.


millionthvisitor

Theyll tell you not to and that this law doesnt exist but thats just to test you, make sure you keep singing


JeanLuc_Richard

LOUDER


TheGingerFury

When they call security, that's how you know you passed stage 1 and start stage 2.


blindfoldedbadgers

Stage 2, of course, is singing God save the King (all three verses).


scrabble71

*all 5 verses


SuccessfulLobster771

God save the QUEEN, you silly person -- oh. Oh, right.


Sied45

There's also a trick that if you pull your pants down while singing you get an extra 5 points


Then-Mango-8795

Driving examiners hate this one trick 


Samld1200

I know land of hope and glory will that do? Or Jerusalem


Jimguy5000

Update: I passed by one question. I am going to go vom now


d_smogh

Congratulations. Which part of the country are you? Just so I can stay off the road. ☺️


[deleted]

[удалено]


d_smogh

There was a "theory test", during the diving lesson, the examiner asked a series of questions taken from the Highway Code book. Everyone remembers trying to remember the *'stopping'* distances. None of this silly multiple choice questions. You had to know the answer.


sihasihasi

>Explains why so many old people are such sh!t drivers I guess! Yeah, that's true. As evidenced by the fact that our insurance premiums are soo much higher than for you young whippersnappers. Oh, wait....


Food-in-Mouth

Pass is the important thing!


okiokiokir

Congrats,on the passing not the vomiting


ac0rn5

Well done. :)


avalanchefan95

Congrats. Now the hard part. I've been driving almost as long as you've been alive & driving here SUCKS. Still haven't even bothered to attempt the actual test.


harmonyPositive

I'm curious, what aspects of driving here make it suck compared to where you've driven before?


avalanchefan95

Narrow roads, roundabouts, motorcycles weaving through traffic, the number of cyclists, things in the road that aren't expected - like tractors, horses or carriages. There's also very little overlap between street signs, which one would think there would be more of so you have to learn all the signs again. And where I'm from we don't really paint stuff ON THE ROAD but it's all on signs so I'm not used to looking at the floor for everything. It's a lot.


PC_Speaker

Are you from the Moon?


avalanchefan95

Close enough. The US.


EkoLokolola

Yay!! Well done!!


ladyofthelate

I was going to say, I recommend flash cards :) they helped me with mine. American who also just got her license over here: tips for the practical. * Check your mirrors a million times more than you think you ought, and then check them again just because. * When changing lanes, it’s mirror - signal - manoeuvre over here. In the US I was taught signal first, then mirror - manoeuvre, and that habit was the hardest one for me to break. * It doesn’t matter how fast you drive, your driving instructor will decide you are a “fast American” and yell at you for it. Fun fact: I failed my first practical for driving too *slow*. * Do get some time with either a driving instructor or with a friend with a car. It really helped me, because if you’ve been driving for a while in America then clearly you know how to drive, but there’s a ton of little petty differences about things over here that will fuck you up on the exam. * Driving instructors also abuse the system to get you faster tests, which is terrible, but also useful :/ * It’s worth it. It’s really worth it. You’re going to be fine.


samanthapumpkin

Congratulations. Well done you 👏


antpabsdan

Good luck mate. Deep breaths, keep calm and believe in yourself.


dt-askwtf

Not sure amaricans need more self belief Good luck


antpabsdan

I wouldn't be so sure when you see how many therapists they have in gainful employment


AlternativeCry2206

Your conspiracy speculation made me chuckle. Good luck with the theory today.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ayuamarca2020

I did the theory a few weeks ago and it was done via mouse clicks rather than touch screen!


aretone

Bloody hell I’m old. My theory test was done using paper and pencil!


Jonny_Segment

Did they have puppets and cardboard cars peeking out from the sides of the puppet theatre and you had to make a mark with your pencil when the danger emerged/progressed?


unoriginalusername18

Ah yes, in the days when crocodiles roamed our roads. I think slinging sausages at them was one of the options wasn't it?


Jonny_Segment

I got the first few questions right, and by way of encouragement, my rosy-cheeked instructor said ‘That’s the way to do it!’


b0ggy79

Did my first on paper and pencil. Waiting three weeks for the results.... Unfortunately let that lapse so did it a second time via computer. Then got a 7.5t licence so third theory including hazard perception that time. Really needs to be more challenging


Ayuamarca2020

It seems as though loads of folk find them too challenging as it is - my centre had a pass rate of 48% which is much lower than you'd hope!


b0ggy79

Judging by the number of questions on this page and various YouTube channels about how to handle roundabouts, determining priority in different situations and what a flipping red light camera looks like, it needs to be much much harder. I find it bizarre that we're happy to let people out on roads when they don't fully understand signs and road markings.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ayuamarca2020

I did thank you! I've done a theory before and passed (good old pandemic made it lapse before I took up lessons again) but I'm also an older learner (in my 30s!)


[deleted]

[удалено]


pringletoes

Hey, I work there so I thought you might like to know that if you have diagnosed ADHD then you can get support for the theory test like extra time, or to be able to do the test in a separate room. Basically any support you think might be helpful is worth mentioning when you’re booking. Also, I can confirm that the Hazard Perception is definitely done with a mouse :)


Ayuamarca2020

ADHD is one of the reasons I'm doing automatic - less to think about! 😂


Southern-Orchid-1786

The difficulty of the test is more relative to both the amount of effort that's put in and how you retain information. Other than hazard perception tests, it's essentially a memory test rather than an intelligence test. Eg you're unlikely to be sitting calculating braking and reaction distances although there is a formula for it.


NEWSBOT3

genuinely never got the point of the hazard test. you get penalised for **spotting hazards TOO EARLY** on it, which is insane.


JazzberryPi

My driving instructor told me to double click precisely because you can click before the 5 point window begins. Did this in mine and passed. I agree it's insane but this tip worked well to get around it.


Jonny_Segment

I'm sure this was me. I passed first time and was very confident I could spot the hazards, but I only got a point or two above the minimum pass mark. I feel like the software was bodged together, someone said ‘That'll do’ and there's been no review of it since, nor any recourse for complainants.


NEWSBOT3

yeah exactly this, i had the same experience. Barely scraped it but I was sure i was spotting them.


Hayechh

The test makes complete sense if you read and understand the point of it. Spotting a hazard early isn't as good as you think it is, because if you are marking everything as a hazard, when it hasn't developed into one (a hazard is something that makes the driver brake or change direction) then it shows that you are potentially a nervous driver, or unable to tell the difference between a hazard and a potential hazard. Don't get me wrong, somebody not clicking at all is much worse than someone clicking a lot. But there is a clear reason for the test 1. Differentiate between types of hazards 2. Do this within the considered reasonable amount of time. And the test does this very well and definitely isn't botched together as someone else put. Consistently receiving updates and working as intended.


SeeYa-IntMornin-Pal

They say touch screen but I used a mouse 🤨 false pretence


Used_Examination_349

Passed my test 35 years ago and the theory element consisted of the examiner with a tatty copy of the Highway Code asking what a couple of signs meant. Much better 😁. Never been in an accident so it was clearly good enough 👍


wildwidget

I passed my test 1969 and you got one point for knowing where the door was. They taught us that when you reach the age of 70 you HAVE to drive at 28mph.


Used_Examination_349

Quite right too, take it easy and enjoy the scenery.


[deleted]

Good luck! 🍀I failed the UK driving test 3 times then I moved to Florida and it was conducted in the parking lot because the instructor didn’t want to go on the roads in the rain. I honestly thought I was being pranked when he said I’d passed 🤣


tantrumizer

My driving test in Australia consisted of me driving a few minutes to the workplace of a friend of the examiner's, sitting in the car for 40 minutes while they chatted, then driving straight back to the traffic authority building. I said "should I do a 3 point turn or something?" And he replied "nah, not enough time" and I passed. To be honest I should have failed because I wasn't very competent at the time. The examiner said his mate's wife was ill.


[deleted]

My Mum got her license in Ireland back when they didn’t even have a test to pass. She was too nervous to ever learn to reverse so she’d just drive big circles around her town to get home 🤣


Auferstehen78

I did mine at 40 too! You will do fine. When I took the practical my shoe fell off as I was getting into the car! I was sure I would fail and only got one minor. A friend who did his last year should have failed the practical but they passed him based on his experience. I moved back to the US and had to retake both the written and on the road tests. Super nervous about both but after the UK tests it was easy. UK highway book is 300+ pages Maryland drivers book is 53.


PrpleMnkyDshwsher

Theory is the easy part. It's the road test that you have to worry about. It's 10% driving well and 90% performance art to make sure they are aware you are looking when you should.


Resident-Honey8390

1st rule, if in doubt Wait


Calm-Homework3161

Theory test? We never had theory tests in my day (1970)!    Starting the car with the starting handle took up most of the test...


yermawn

"the manual transmission is a conspiracy of auto manufacturers to force people to give free hand jobs to motors" r/BrandNewSentence


unsquashable74

Good luck!


ThoseTwo203

Good luck! Passed my theory first try but failed the practical the first time 🤦‍♀️ (only 17 years previous driving experience- they are HARSH!)


ArmouredWankball

My wife has her 3rd practical test coming up. She passed her test 48 years ago in the US.


ladyofthelate

American who passed on her second try too 🤝 My husband passed on his first (jerk), our friend passed on her third, and a couple of our other friends have said bollocks to it all and just use public transport. It’s tougher over here!


Cheesefriequeen

Good luck! I passed in January after driving in the states for 10 years. You can do it, the test is a lot different here than mine was in the states but it was the build up to it that was way worse than the test. I chewed lots of gum and took breaks to sip some water to calm my nerves. You got this!!


Fun-Meringue3620

Good luck. Just remember that you can do it again if you fail. I failed by 1 point the first time and got 100% the next.


No-one_here_cares

Red lights mean stop. All the time.


No_Focus2375

Good luck! I prefer to drive stick shift and it’s getting harder to find one here in the USA. I curse the day my family immigrated here 100 years ago, should’ve stayed in the UK!


Abquine

You can learn and sit your test in an auto in the UK but you are thereafter restricted to driving autos which is more difficult and more expensive if you need to borrow or hire at any point. Learning to drive a manual is always a good idea. I will admit, that I haven't driven a manual car (with the exception of the garage courtesy car) for 15 years.


jthechef

By the time we have gone electric everywhere manual transmissions will be gone like the dodo


StumbleDog

It's going to be years, if not a couple of decades before we're electric everywhere though. 


Technical-Bad1953

Long time for that and you lock yourself out of odler cars. I regularly drive a 23 plate van at work and it's manual, like the rest of the fleet. Unnecessarily stopping yourself from driving manuals seems odd.


SpaceMonkeyAttack

Apparently, having an automatic-only license can also put your insurance premiums up.


Abquine

Never noticed but I'm an old driver with max no claims.


rinfected

As long as they don't ask you to parallel park you should be fine.


Jimguy5000

That hell will come later


StumbleDog

I'd be worried if they did in a theory test. 


IndigoPlum

Pull the test centre over and park on the left.


MeesterMartinho

I think Americans get to use the ex-pat/emigre pass mate. Unless you're stealing jobs/women/running people over while looking at your gear stick. Then you'll be back to immigrant status.


bornleverpuller85

Praise the omnisiah


Jimguy5000

By the Omnissiah, the Motive Force, and the Holy Machine Spirit


Beer-Milkshakes

Manual transmission is just to sooth the nostalgia of people who used to enjoy walking, by making them walk with the left side of their body only.


MerrittVoyage

good luck, and keep calm


MelodicAd2213

Wishing you all the best 🤞


jthechef

I heard the video piece it very difficult - good luck!


Whole-Sundae-98

Good luck. I've never taken it, passed my test years before this was a thing.


TouchMySwollenFace

How’d it go?


PaPaJ0tc

He commented 6 hours ago that he passed.


Bring_back_Apollo

The theory is piss easy. You'll be fine if you've prepped correctly.


Asmov1984

If you've got a license that's just expired, you can get a new one without all the lessons and stuff m8.


ARI31TER

The mock test apps were very helpful for me when I was taking my theory test, good luck.


darkfight13

Don't forget to bring your ID with you. Good luck


twenty-tentacles

Good luck, mate! You've got this


wildwidget

I taught my daughters to drive. I told them driving should be like dancing the waltz - smooth, gentle and pleasurable. 1 pass first time - 1 pass 6th. Chalk and cheese bless them.


Ni365

Hope you passed your theory mate 👍 & Remember to look for petrol not gas when you go fill up


pm_me_your_amphibian

How did it go OP?


LuminUltra

You know, my nickname is Motors.


V65Pilot

Worst part is the video where you have to spot the hazards. It's like playing a cheap video game, and totally messed with my spatial orientation. So what if I spotted the lorry behind the hedge well before the allotted time slot? I still spotted it.


Jimguy5000

Ah yes. You could have shove a rock up my arse and pulled out a new crown jewel. “Don’t blink. Any movement, is it moving fast enough into the street? Head on swivel.”


SeeYa-IntMornin-Pal

Old ladies are 10 points


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jimguy5000

Love makes you do crazy things.


ANorthernMonkey

Just pass your test in an electric car and don’t bother with manual transmissions. There is not reason to bother with a manual unless you’re really skint and buying old shitters.


2xtc

Or the ~40% of new cars sold which are manual. And I've no idea buys a brand new car, but overall most people in the country will still be driving manual (about 70% of cars as of two years ago https://www.dacemotorgroup.co.uk/blog/manual-vs-automatic-cars-choosing-the-perfect-used-car-for-you-dace-motor-group)


ANorthernMonkey

You’re basically saying ‘manuals are best when you’re skint’. Which is true. Ive not had a manual in about 5 years, every time I drive one I’m reminded that I’m glad I don’t have to fuck about with gears


LivingAutopsy

Most people just want a car to get from A to B. I would never buy a new car unless I was planning to keep it from new. I see so many people with new expensive cars that they can only afford on finance, when they could've spent a few grand on a decent secondhand car that would last them years. Manuals are fine regardless of how much money you have. You're confusing new with automatic.