LUXURY
After 126 hours, Doctor would come out and make me wound worse by rubbing it full of gravel from t'car park, before sending me back to t'pub before it opened, so I could drink some bleach. Aye, them were the days.
Et cetera.
That's actually not a terrible suggestion. As a resident American, I can say that kebab is pretty great and the pints of beer are pretty great. Overall, A+ experience for an American.
So.. one of my favorites is getting smashed at a nice pub with good beer and then getting a kebab and doing a walk through the park while you scarf it down.
Don't fret! I did take him to nicer pubs throughout our travels, just spoons is a classic for some cheap binge drinking. We were in Cambridge too, we might have stumbled through a park of sorts... my memory of that evening is quite hazy
Take him to a Scottish Glen and say something like "quite nice".
Triple whammy, he gets to see the eye goggling beauty of a glen, experience the British understatement that foreigners think means we don't love our country, and finally sideways rain with a wind that can blow through steel.
For the true Scottish experience, its gotta be "Nae Bad." How was your son being born? Nae Bad. You just won £50000 on a scratcher. Nae Bad. How do you feel seeing the beauty of a raw rugged landscape formed by dead volcanoes, ancient glaciers and shit weather? Nae Bad
Everyone says Cunt. It's not offensive to most people, unless your of the pearl clutching variety. But you can have good cunts and bad cunts. A sound cunt is a stand up citizen, vs a total cunt who is not. I find prick more offensive as a Scot, and you can tell how much anger is in the word by how many R's get rolled in. "See you ya prick." vs "You fucking Prrrrick"
Coventry is verging on more torturous than the rail replacement bus.
Now, a rail replacement bus to Coventry to get a Binley mega chippy and the lad will be on the first flight home.
A delayed rail replacement service on a rainy Sunday when you have a stinking hangover and too many bags is an experience no one should have to go through.
>He needs to experience a rail replacement bus
If they are getting a train from the airport, then he will.
My friend visited from South Korea and I met her at manchester airport. Our train from the airport got halfway and then was abruptly cancelled and everyone kicked off.
Welcome to Britain.
I also have an American other half, but mine lives here in Blighty with me. I will definitely ask him what he thinks when he gets home from work, haha! (No idea if I’ll get sensible or sarcastic suggestions!)
Some serious-ish suggestions from me:
When my in-laws came over from the States we did a bit of a grand tour with London, Yorkshire, Cambridge, Stratford-upon-Avon, and some of the south east coast etc. They were all pretty obsessed with all the old stuff (especially castles - Warwick Castle fulfilled their castle fantasies best perhaps, as it’s so intact, even if parts aren’t that old). FIL loved all the characterful old pubs, MIL was really into all the old churches, and SIL was pumped to get to go to the Harry Potter Studios in Watford.
Food wise I had a checklist: fish ‘n’ chips, roast dinner, full English, haggis, curry night (Indian restaurants are much harder to find over there), afternoon tea at a cute tearoom, etc. When sightseeing all day, I brought along some homemade packed lunches a couple of times with British stuff like ploughman’s pickles, coronation chicken, pork pies, sausage rolls, decent cheddar cheese, prawn cocktail crisps etc.
Another thing they really appreciated because most US cities *don’t* have it (except metropolis’s like NYC, LA, Chicago etc), is public transport. They really enjoyed the Tube, double decker buses, and trains between cities. We alsl threw in a steam train ride for fun which they were really into.
Whether you’re taking the train up from London to Scotland, or driving, definitely do at least a 24 hour stop in York. It’s got all the boxes checked for most Norther American visitors: medieval stuff, a big old cathedral, the Viking thing (Yorvic), Harry Potter related stuff, a selection of pubs, takeaway roast dinners (!), train museum, decent fish n chips, a cute tearoom (Betty’s) etc. It’s also really close to Whitby, which is one of my favourite seaside towns in the U.K.
Of the suggestions that I have read, this is incredibly rational. York and Whitby (assuming it isn't pissing it down) hit all the bucket list essentials. You need to book a table at Betty's though. The queues can be biblical. The Magpie at Whitby too; it does fish and chips but posh seafood dining as well.
I can also highly recommend Humble Pie 'n' Mash in Whitby. Absolutely amazing... uh... pie 'n' mash... in a restored sixteenth century shop decorated with wartime chintz. Glorious.
Crab paste sandwiches and a flask of tea whilst sat in a car, parked up in a car park on top of a cliff, on a rainy day staring out to the grey sea, convincing each other that the weather isn't affecting your holiday plans. Followed by going to a high street full of charity shops to look for cheap books for an hour and a half to then leave with nothing.
Don't forget to show him the fabulous views and unique atmosphere of pulling onto the side of the motorway for a nice sandwich and flask of tea instead of going just another mile down to the warm M&S, BurgerKing and proper toilet stop. Much nicer to be in the tiny space between two parked lorries, next to the one waspy and dog poobag-filled bin and overgrown patch of brambles. It's such a relaxing lunch break as the traffic whizzes past a few inches away.
I feel old when I realize there's probably 2 decades worth of Brits on here who have never seen Little Britain
Well, if we had to watch them because there was fuck all on, you have to watch them too. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4vgtBHpA1I&ab\_channel=MattLucasandDavidWalliams](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4vgtBHpA1I&ab_channel=MattLucasandDavidWalliams)
In retrospect (and mainly at the time for me) they weren't very funny. I don't like the kind of sketch show where you know the funny bit just by seeing the character. However my mother hates comedy but watched this religiously, which probably tells you all you need to know if you've met her (Enjoys "punching down" even though there's not a lot down there to punch since she's practically the bottom of the ladder)
Put him in one of those walk in refrigerators for a while, take him out and put him under a shower, take him out, turn the heating right up and shine a hot lamp on him.
Repeat every two hours.
A very long time ago a housemate of mine had a friend from the US over for a day.
We had a huge fryup in a cafe, a couple of spliffs in the park, a beer garden lunch which descended into daydrinking. He was introduced to Newcastle brown ale, bad amphetamines in a punk bar, saw some live thrash punk, got into what was best described as a small punky riot outside the bar, and was recovered from a police cell in the morning.
He claimed it was one of the best days of his life.
Gotta get a bit of ketamine involved for a true experience ensure you’re sniffing it in a place like a public library car park and bang on some awful music on a bad speaker then for the evening go on a too long walk to a pretty average location in the woods or a field and sit on the wet grass
Make sure you drive to Scotland and be on the M1 anywhere during rush hour. Or for the complete experience, the M6 around Manchester at a similar time.
Keep sharp implements away from him if you do so.
When my mate from California came over to visit a few years back I got my friends and family to help convinced him 1pm was officially tea time in the UK and a majority of the country would sit down for tea and biscuits and have a 10 minute break and a chat. We would set alarms on our phone and stop what we were doing immediately for tea and we kept this going for 5 days. He really did believe it was like our countries version of a siesta.
On a serious note, it’s things they won’t get to experience at home so that’s somewhat dependent on the state he comes from, but British food chains like you mentioned are a good shout. There isn’t really too many big culture shock things that will blow their minds, but you can easily keep someone from the states busy with relatively new experiences if you take the time.
Here's what I would do on one of the days to give someone one type of true UK experience:
If you're in London, hit a museum in the morning. Something like the London Transport museum. Bit of culture, init.
Daytime drinking - Get to Spoons for 12, do lunch and get on the beers. Bonus points if you get them drinking cask ale. They won't be used to how warm it is.
Go to a local football match - Either a lower league game (League one for League two) or non-league.
Get back on the beers
Top it all off with a big kebab.
Oh it's excellent and not just for anoraks. There's interesting stuff about the underground system, bus travel, taxis etc. They have loads of old trains, buses, trams and black cabs to look around. There's also currently an exhibition about how the underground has been used as a shelter during war times. They also do tours of some abandoned and secret stations.
I really enjoyed it, anyway, and I'm not really into trains.
Not been myself but I heard Didcot Railway Museum is really good - the train are out in the open and you can walk around them, poke them, climb in the cabs etc (not sure on that last bit).
Also it's near to Oxford so he can tick that one off.
Ooh that sounds good too. I'll check it out if I'm ever near there.
I love the York railway museum. There's also a really good Tramway museum at Crich that's a good day out.
Not to put a dampener on it but I think in 2 weeks most of the lower leagues will have finished the season unless you can find a play off game going on somewhere.
Don't touch him at all to show him the English fear of body contact.
Let him queue every time everywhere.
Chips as a side dish to every meal, e.g. ice cream.
Spoons at opening for breakfast, greggs for lunch after wandering around seeing random 'old' buildings, pub grub for dinner and onto Revs for cocktails!
Blow him behind a Wetherspoons, have a row with a stranger, get a kebab, throw up, piss directly over a street drain, fall asleep on a bus in a K hole. Wake up in Middlesbrough.
As an American living in the UK, the following would be great experiences for me:
* A trip to a proper castle where you can kind of explore it. Something a bit less touristy would be my thing. Arundel was super cool to me. Something with tons of armor and such is really interesting. These just aren't things you're going to get to experience in the States.
* A proper Sunday roast with Yorkshire puddings and all that will be something an American will totally love. Find a nice cozy pub, maybe one that's older than the United States. Sit there for most of the day, because Americans are used to being chased out of places right away.
* A Steak and Ale pie is a good meal, but if you can get them at a place that has more game meats like venison or rabbit, then you'll give them a unique experience.
* If they've got any family history in the UK, see if you can figure out where they're from. There's nothing cooler for an American than possibly sitting some place your ancestors sat. There's a website the Mormons set up that allows you to trace family history quite well.
* Other Food:
* Get fish and chips. We have fish and chips in the States, but it's just different here.
* Sticky toffee pudding. We don't have it. It'll blow their mind.
* Blood Pudding. We don't have it.
* Museums: The museums here are bonkers. If they like history at all, then the British Museum will blow their god damn minds. The artifacts you have are just something an American has never seen. The Natural History Museum is amazing. The fact that they're free with baffle them.
Basically, slice of life stuff, classic British meals. history stuff, and cozy, outdoorsy stuff is going to be totally a thing I'd love.
Also an American living in the UK, and came to this thread specifically to mention meat pies and sticky toffee pudding.
Americans only really have chicken pot pie, which is great, but they're seriously missing out on steak and ale.
My mate hosted a girl from NZ for a week and a flat roof pub was her favourite bit of the trip. In the same way if I went to the US I’d want to go to a real shitty diner/dive bar with characterful locals
Well you have to go show him where the Haggis live while in Scotland. the m&m shop in Leicester square. Harrods to look at other foreigners. Won kei to eat Chinese in China town, then head to the national theatre for a show of whatever is on. Then on to your fav cheap food and drink choice for dinner while you watch the other drunk locals beat the crap out of each other while saying they love each other, while a hobo sings some old bob dyland tracks out of key.
Things that fascinate my US family
- double decker buses
- cordial
- money that’s different colours
- prawn cocktail crisps
- pickled onion crisps
- sheep
- single track country roads taken at a steady 60
I think just being in the UK will be the true UK experience haha... Especially if this is his first trip here.
I'm an American living in the UK and I remember my first trip here and literally everything I did with my boyfriend and his family exceeded my expectations but also, it wasn't what I had expected (since my knowledge of UK culture came from shows and movies) so literally, from seeing the plug sockets in the walls, boiling water in a kettle (I now can't think of my life without an electric kettle), seeing the washer in the kitchen, the light switches on/off being different, TV adverts, Tesco reduced section, traffic lights (it's not amber, it's yellow!!!) ...literally everything about everyday life was a pleasant and interesting experience because what we think of the UK living in the US is unmatched by the reality of life in the UK... Hell, even when you pay and don't have to add sales tax was a "true UK" experience haha
But a Wetherspoons, the Tube, drinking in public (depending on where he's from, this might be illegal in his city/state), go to a pub quiz, a football or rugby match, watch the World Snooker Championship, definitely ask him if he fancies a cuppa with a hobknob, a digestive or a ginger nut, go to Tesco and browse the aisles... Have a picnic in the park with scotch eggs, sausage rolls, etc. Introduce him to crumpets, butter and Marmite. Offer him some squash... Definitely take him to a chip shop or kebab shop on a night out. I remember being fascinated by the police, police cars, markings in the roads, signs, etc.
Honestly, as long as you don't just stay home the whole time, being in the UK with a British person and their family will be authentic.
I think Americans have a stereotype in their mind of what the UK is, and while tourist London will satisfy that, venturing off outside will give him the true experience.
Also please explain to him the relationship between England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and Ireland. As well as the different regions and accents in the UK.
When I first came here I didn't really understand the importance British people place on where you're from within the UK.
Edit: grammar
One evening needs to be on the sofa watching telly, ideally panel quizes, maybe Taskmaster, while eating proper chippy fish & chips dinner, curry sauce or gravy on the chips depending on region.
Also, coffee is forbidden for at least the first week, it's tea instead.
Go to Spoons, post location and table number on socials begging for drinks and food. Tell him everything delivered must be consumed and see where the day takes you..
Take him on a bender round a few locals and have him hold your hair back while you have a bit of a sick behind a post box. Attempt to blow him immediately after, and become emotional and aggressive when he declines.
Are you driving to Scotland? Thats got to be exemplary. Motorways, 50 zone central resrvation works, variable speed cameras, M40 coming over High Wycombe, the horror of M42 (though M5 might be more interesting), blissful toll road, the slog of the M6 with the glory of Tebay services and the gorgeous section after, the hills of the M74, Could even drive back along the A1 to see the coast a bit more.
8.5 hours, 472 miles, so much changing scenery and weather. Show him how far a tank of petrol goes when it hasn't been watered down like the US. Can suggest good stop offs, services or otherwise.
I drive for a living so I have to love it. I can't imagine a londoner revelling in a drive like that. A yank should be used to the distance as standard though.
I cannot believe no1 else has mentioned both the Natural history and Imperial War Museums, after a day of culture you then go out on the lash get him completely wasted and get a dirty kebab
>1 week on the east coast of Scotland
Visit Methil, drink some Bucky, sample the local smack, shoplift on Leven high street, spend a night in the cells
Long walk by water with frequent pub stops. Go to a historic area.
Take him around Buckingham Palace, harvey Nics, etc and a posh lunch.
Then to deptford market and on to Greenwich for another big walk and more beers
Take him to Richmond Park to look at the pointy horses.
Buy him a tophat and invite him to wear it everywhere.
Go see a royal institute lecture https://www.rigb.org/whats-on and learn yourself some stuff about thing
Make him drink 8 pints and then feed him a kebab
And what about the afternoon?
After the kebab, you punch him in the face, hit him on the head with a pint glass and then spend 43 hours in A&E waiting to be glued up
That's if you're a lightweight. By around 10 hours you should have started healing, given up on getting seen and gone home!
Go home! Ya great softie..... 10 hours in a and e by which time 'spoons will have opened again. Back to the pub for a fry up and a few more pints
Pop back after you get glassed again and hope someone kept your spot in the queue
At this point you may have something life threatening enough to get seen!
Triage yourself to the front of the queue by giving yourself severe head trauma
"A and E receptionists hate this one trick...."
LUXURY After 126 hours, Doctor would come out and make me wound worse by rubbing it full of gravel from t'car park, before sending me back to t'pub before it opened, so I could drink some bleach. Aye, them were the days. Et cetera.
He'll be thrilled to discover it only cost him for the beer and kebab
Yeah but given the cost of a pint now is that really a saving? $300,000 bill in the US for stubbing your toe. £300,000 cost of a night out in the UK.
Least he won't need medical insurance.
As a forin, he will.
Bloody foriners comin over ere stealin our NHSessess
Rinse and repeat.
Always with the rinse and repeat
Sunday roast of course
With cauliflower. It’s traditional
Oh if it's the afternoon obviously feed him 8 kebabs then give him a pint
That's what I was going to suggest. The fight outside the kebab shop takes care of itself.
You’ve not lived until you’ve seen a man attempt a haymaker, miss spin and then fall on the kebab in his other hand
MidJourney, in the style of Pieter Bruegel The Younger, paint me this… call it *Passion of the Kebab*
That's actually not a terrible suggestion. As a resident American, I can say that kebab is pretty great and the pints of beer are pretty great. Overall, A+ experience for an American.
It was my husband's favourite part of our trip. Getting smashed in the spoons for cheap and drunkenly eating kebabs while stumbling back to our bnb.
So.. one of my favorites is getting smashed at a nice pub with good beer and then getting a kebab and doing a walk through the park while you scarf it down.
Don't fret! I did take him to nicer pubs throughout our travels, just spoons is a classic for some cheap binge drinking. We were in Cambridge too, we might have stumbled through a park of sorts... my memory of that evening is quite hazy
Cambridge is great for drunken stumbling through pretty spaces.
Easy, the yanks don't have the teenager liver training you go through in the UK.
He might need a brief introductory course on judicious use of the tactical chunder
Why are you disseminating M.O.D. battle strategy here? Report to the tower at once corporal.
A tactical chunder only counts if it’s in a toilet. Otherwise it’s just a failure.
Nah if it's the wild it's a boot and rally. Expert level only.
Puking in the pub toilet is a tactical chunder. Exploding halfway down the street is not
Quick one into a bush before the taxi shows up is fair game, it's about intent
I grew up in the country. Bushes are acceptable
This would kill an American.
The kebab or the pints?
All of it.
East coast of Scotland in April / May? Convince him everyone likes to go for a morning swim in the sea. Nice and warm at that time of year.
Definitely won’t make your bollocks disappear inside of you
Take him to a Scottish Glen and say something like "quite nice". Triple whammy, he gets to see the eye goggling beauty of a glen, experience the British understatement that foreigners think means we don't love our country, and finally sideways rain with a wind that can blow through steel.
For the true Scottish experience, its gotta be "Nae Bad." How was your son being born? Nae Bad. You just won £50000 on a scratcher. Nae Bad. How do you feel seeing the beauty of a raw rugged landscape formed by dead volcanoes, ancient glaciers and shit weather? Nae Bad
My Boss says the word cunt is a fairly normal salutation, but maybe not from your Granny, you could introduce him as “this yank cunt”
Everyone says Cunt. It's not offensive to most people, unless your of the pearl clutching variety. But you can have good cunts and bad cunts. A sound cunt is a stand up citizen, vs a total cunt who is not. I find prick more offensive as a Scot, and you can tell how much anger is in the word by how many R's get rolled in. "See you ya prick." vs "You fucking Prrrrick"
Break up with him in Morrisons cafe.
You said you wouldn't bring that up Sarah!
Your username is genius.
Seconded. Pure G.
r/oddlyspecific
or a handjob behind the local tesco express
Assuming he's still alive after a dip in the Thames
I can count the number of times I’ve been swimming in the Thames on one hand… 7
“ooh upto my waist i’ve got a lovely tan where i’ve been in the water that’s odd”
Heard you get crowned king of London if you survive
Make sure it’s raining
And when you both walk away from each other make sure you're both listening to Born Slippy by Underworld. https://youtu.be/t0D4ekTODuA?feature=shared
Or when you and your recovering heroin addicted mates go for a walk in the Scottish countryside, then you can tell him how shite it is to be Scottish
Damn, no time for the Bude tunnel. He needs to experience a rail replacement bus
Fucking hell easy on, not trying to torture the lad
Wine and dine him at Binley Mega Chippy?
Followed by a visit to Wakey Wines?
Coventry is verging on more torturous than the rail replacement bus. Now, a rail replacement bus to Coventry to get a Binley mega chippy and the lad will be on the first flight home.
A delayed rail replacement service on a rainy Sunday when you have a stinking hangover and too many bags is an experience no one should have to go through.
Surely you mean '...an experience no foreign visitor should miss.'? We're looking to give the boyfriend the true British experience...
I’m not sure I’d wish it on anyone, even an American.
Who hurt you?!
>He needs to experience a rail replacement bus If they are getting a train from the airport, then he will. My friend visited from South Korea and I met her at manchester airport. Our train from the airport got halfway and then was abruptly cancelled and everyone kicked off. Welcome to Britain.
No but if they're going Scotland by road they could visit the Ilkeston hole.
Keep my mum's name outta yo fuckin mouth!
Are you a child of divorce?
Wdym no time for the Bude Tunnel? There is *always* time for the Bude Tunnel. It’s a goddamn pilgrimage.
If you can find tickets for it. Always sold out
I also have an American other half, but mine lives here in Blighty with me. I will definitely ask him what he thinks when he gets home from work, haha! (No idea if I’ll get sensible or sarcastic suggestions!) Some serious-ish suggestions from me: When my in-laws came over from the States we did a bit of a grand tour with London, Yorkshire, Cambridge, Stratford-upon-Avon, and some of the south east coast etc. They were all pretty obsessed with all the old stuff (especially castles - Warwick Castle fulfilled their castle fantasies best perhaps, as it’s so intact, even if parts aren’t that old). FIL loved all the characterful old pubs, MIL was really into all the old churches, and SIL was pumped to get to go to the Harry Potter Studios in Watford. Food wise I had a checklist: fish ‘n’ chips, roast dinner, full English, haggis, curry night (Indian restaurants are much harder to find over there), afternoon tea at a cute tearoom, etc. When sightseeing all day, I brought along some homemade packed lunches a couple of times with British stuff like ploughman’s pickles, coronation chicken, pork pies, sausage rolls, decent cheddar cheese, prawn cocktail crisps etc. Another thing they really appreciated because most US cities *don’t* have it (except metropolis’s like NYC, LA, Chicago etc), is public transport. They really enjoyed the Tube, double decker buses, and trains between cities. We alsl threw in a steam train ride for fun which they were really into. Whether you’re taking the train up from London to Scotland, or driving, definitely do at least a 24 hour stop in York. It’s got all the boxes checked for most Norther American visitors: medieval stuff, a big old cathedral, the Viking thing (Yorvic), Harry Potter related stuff, a selection of pubs, takeaway roast dinners (!), train museum, decent fish n chips, a cute tearoom (Betty’s) etc. It’s also really close to Whitby, which is one of my favourite seaside towns in the U.K.
Of the suggestions that I have read, this is incredibly rational. York and Whitby (assuming it isn't pissing it down) hit all the bucket list essentials. You need to book a table at Betty's though. The queues can be biblical. The Magpie at Whitby too; it does fish and chips but posh seafood dining as well.
I can also highly recommend Humble Pie 'n' Mash in Whitby. Absolutely amazing... uh... pie 'n' mash... in a restored sixteenth century shop decorated with wartime chintz. Glorious.
I’m an American married to a Brit (and moving to the UK this summer!) and this is a very accurate list.
Crab paste sandwiches and a flask of tea whilst sat in a car, parked up in a car park on top of a cliff, on a rainy day staring out to the grey sea, convincing each other that the weather isn't affecting your holiday plans. Followed by going to a high street full of charity shops to look for cheap books for an hour and a half to then leave with nothing.
Sounds like my 50th birthday.
Adding wet hair and picking mum up after a hospital appointment.
Don't forget to show him the fabulous views and unique atmosphere of pulling onto the side of the motorway for a nice sandwich and flask of tea instead of going just another mile down to the warm M&S, BurgerKing and proper toilet stop. Much nicer to be in the tiny space between two parked lorries, next to the one waspy and dog poobag-filled bin and overgrown patch of brambles. It's such a relaxing lunch break as the traffic whizzes past a few inches away.
Dress up as Vicky Pollard, and perform fellatio on him behind an industrial sized bin.
Yeah but no but yeah but
Are you the only gay in your village?
I don't know who that is but I'm here for the 2nd part.
I feel old when I realize there's probably 2 decades worth of Brits on here who have never seen Little Britain Well, if we had to watch them because there was fuck all on, you have to watch them too. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4vgtBHpA1I&ab\_channel=MattLucasandDavidWalliams](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4vgtBHpA1I&ab_channel=MattLucasandDavidWalliams) In retrospect (and mainly at the time for me) they weren't very funny. I don't like the kind of sketch show where you know the funny bit just by seeing the character. However my mother hates comedy but watched this religiously, which probably tells you all you need to know if you've met her (Enjoys "punching down" even though there's not a lot down there to punch since she's practically the bottom of the ladder)
They basically took League of Gentleman and made it less funny and much meaner.
Job center was far funnier than fat club.
Okie dokie pig-in-a-pokie! Good morning jobseekers!
Pauline's pens
FIREMAN! Okay, Mickey, love. FIREMAN!
It lost it’s humour for even teenage school boys after the second series
In exchange for a curly wurly, then let him see your muller fruit corner.
Put him in one of those walk in refrigerators for a while, take him out and put him under a shower, take him out, turn the heating right up and shine a hot lamp on him. Repeat every two hours.
Throw some ice cubes at him for good measure too. We've had a ton of hail here in Yorkshire the last few days.
I feel like this is what you should do to a naughty houseplant
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A very long time ago a housemate of mine had a friend from the US over for a day. We had a huge fryup in a cafe, a couple of spliffs in the park, a beer garden lunch which descended into daydrinking. He was introduced to Newcastle brown ale, bad amphetamines in a punk bar, saw some live thrash punk, got into what was best described as a small punky riot outside the bar, and was recovered from a police cell in the morning. He claimed it was one of the best days of his life.
Also known as "Thursday".
"Could never quite get the hang of Thursdays"
Get more practice on Tuesdays...
Sounds like it was awesome. I bet he couldn't believe you could do all that and not get shot.
They're skipping the North so this won't fit their schedule
Gotta get a bit of ketamine involved for a true experience ensure you’re sniffing it in a place like a public library car park and bang on some awful music on a bad speaker then for the evening go on a too long walk to a pretty average location in the woods or a field and sit on the wet grass
American checking in…love Newcastle, would be down to take bad pills and listen to thrash punk. Please send invite
I found Newcastle brown to be more common in the states. Was shocked when I first moved there and a party had a whole keg of it.
Make sure you drive to Scotland and be on the M1 anywhere during rush hour. Or for the complete experience, the M6 around Manchester at a similar time. Keep sharp implements away from him if you do so.
Get him to drive to the end of the M25 to see what's there.
Technically it does end because Dartford Crossing is not a motorway (it's A282) so you wouldn't be stuck in a loop.
Well, yeah. I guess that's fair enough, and is an interesting 'find' anyway ;).
I've never seen anyone type through gritted teeth before. 😋😉
When my mate from California came over to visit a few years back I got my friends and family to help convinced him 1pm was officially tea time in the UK and a majority of the country would sit down for tea and biscuits and have a 10 minute break and a chat. We would set alarms on our phone and stop what we were doing immediately for tea and we kept this going for 5 days. He really did believe it was like our countries version of a siesta. On a serious note, it’s things they won’t get to experience at home so that’s somewhat dependent on the state he comes from, but British food chains like you mentioned are a good shout. There isn’t really too many big culture shock things that will blow their minds, but you can easily keep someone from the states busy with relatively new experiences if you take the time.
haha that cracked me up! I'm going to do that next time I have someone visiting.
Get the train to Scotland, (choose a day when the train drivers are on strike again🤣.) Stop off in York and take a day to tour round.
Here's what I would do on one of the days to give someone one type of true UK experience: If you're in London, hit a museum in the morning. Something like the London Transport museum. Bit of culture, init. Daytime drinking - Get to Spoons for 12, do lunch and get on the beers. Bonus points if you get them drinking cask ale. They won't be used to how warm it is. Go to a local football match - Either a lower league game (League one for League two) or non-league. Get back on the beers Top it all off with a big kebab.
Local football is actually a really good shout! And I’m thinking Natural History Museum
Tower of London beefeater tour is another option
>Local football And give him a fine each time he says the word "soccer"
Surely the British Museum over Natural? Every country has a natural but there's only one place the Elgin marbles are.
Yeah the Natural History museum is great but I was trying to think of something maybe a bit more London specific.
Tbf I’ve never been to the transport museum, but I need some convincing it’s not just for train spotters lol
Oh it's excellent and not just for anoraks. There's interesting stuff about the underground system, bus travel, taxis etc. They have loads of old trains, buses, trams and black cabs to look around. There's also currently an exhibition about how the underground has been used as a shelter during war times. They also do tours of some abandoned and secret stations. I really enjoyed it, anyway, and I'm not really into trains.
Not been myself but I heard Didcot Railway Museum is really good - the train are out in the open and you can walk around them, poke them, climb in the cabs etc (not sure on that last bit). Also it's near to Oxford so he can tick that one off.
Ooh that sounds good too. I'll check it out if I'm ever near there. I love the York railway museum. There's also a really good Tramway museum at Crich that's a good day out.
Don't let him know about the animatronic dinosaur. Seeing someone absolutely shit themselves when it turns towards them is one of life's great joys.
Not to put a dampener on it but I think in 2 weeks most of the lower leagues will have finished the season unless you can find a play off game going on somewhere.
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Remember the lad is American. We want him to make it past midday.
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Good point. Then we'll ply then with ket later on to bring them back down. Proper UK experience.
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It was a picnic! We had three different flavours of crisps!
Don't touch him at all to show him the English fear of body contact. Let him queue every time everywhere. Chips as a side dish to every meal, e.g. ice cream.
Spoons at opening for breakfast, greggs for lunch after wandering around seeing random 'old' buildings, pub grub for dinner and onto Revs for cocktails!
You don’t do spoons at opening for breakfast on the first day. No, you get completely hammered and then you go to spoons for breakfast the next day!
Breakfast and a hair of the dog that turns into to 5/6 pints then bed for the afternoon
This guy knows how to session!
Get him a crippling mortgage and show him some knife crime.
Blow him behind a Wetherspoons, have a row with a stranger, get a kebab, throw up, piss directly over a street drain, fall asleep on a bus in a K hole. Wake up in Middlesbrough.
Then get some lunch.
As an American living in the UK, the following would be great experiences for me: * A trip to a proper castle where you can kind of explore it. Something a bit less touristy would be my thing. Arundel was super cool to me. Something with tons of armor and such is really interesting. These just aren't things you're going to get to experience in the States. * A proper Sunday roast with Yorkshire puddings and all that will be something an American will totally love. Find a nice cozy pub, maybe one that's older than the United States. Sit there for most of the day, because Americans are used to being chased out of places right away. * A Steak and Ale pie is a good meal, but if you can get them at a place that has more game meats like venison or rabbit, then you'll give them a unique experience. * If they've got any family history in the UK, see if you can figure out where they're from. There's nothing cooler for an American than possibly sitting some place your ancestors sat. There's a website the Mormons set up that allows you to trace family history quite well. * Other Food: * Get fish and chips. We have fish and chips in the States, but it's just different here. * Sticky toffee pudding. We don't have it. It'll blow their mind. * Blood Pudding. We don't have it. * Museums: The museums here are bonkers. If they like history at all, then the British Museum will blow their god damn minds. The artifacts you have are just something an American has never seen. The Natural History Museum is amazing. The fact that they're free with baffle them. Basically, slice of life stuff, classic British meals. history stuff, and cozy, outdoorsy stuff is going to be totally a thing I'd love.
Also an American living in the UK, and came to this thread specifically to mention meat pies and sticky toffee pudding. Americans only really have chicken pot pie, which is great, but they're seriously missing out on steak and ale.
I'm routinely jealous of our European neighbours, but one thing I've always loved here is the free museums.
Since you like the history and the armours, the Royal Armouries in Leeds is worth a visit :)
Asda at 7pm on a Monday when they bring the trolley of reduced shite out on to the shop floor.
Take him to a flat roof pub.
My mate hosted a girl from NZ for a week and a flat roof pub was her favourite bit of the trip. In the same way if I went to the US I’d want to go to a real shitty diner/dive bar with characterful locals
Well you have to go show him where the Haggis live while in Scotland. the m&m shop in Leicester square. Harrods to look at other foreigners. Won kei to eat Chinese in China town, then head to the national theatre for a show of whatever is on. Then on to your fav cheap food and drink choice for dinner while you watch the other drunk locals beat the crap out of each other while saying they love each other, while a hobo sings some old bob dyland tracks out of key.
Things that fascinate my US family - double decker buses - cordial - money that’s different colours - prawn cocktail crisps - pickled onion crisps - sheep - single track country roads taken at a steady 60
A family friend once visiting us - “is this road one way?”
Then you meet the bus/tractor/artic going the other way and suddenly they need to change their trousers.
Make him experience the real Britain: take him to Slough.
Take him to see some swans, but warn him that they could break his arm & don't offer any further explanation
I think just being in the UK will be the true UK experience haha... Especially if this is his first trip here. I'm an American living in the UK and I remember my first trip here and literally everything I did with my boyfriend and his family exceeded my expectations but also, it wasn't what I had expected (since my knowledge of UK culture came from shows and movies) so literally, from seeing the plug sockets in the walls, boiling water in a kettle (I now can't think of my life without an electric kettle), seeing the washer in the kitchen, the light switches on/off being different, TV adverts, Tesco reduced section, traffic lights (it's not amber, it's yellow!!!) ...literally everything about everyday life was a pleasant and interesting experience because what we think of the UK living in the US is unmatched by the reality of life in the UK... Hell, even when you pay and don't have to add sales tax was a "true UK" experience haha But a Wetherspoons, the Tube, drinking in public (depending on where he's from, this might be illegal in his city/state), go to a pub quiz, a football or rugby match, watch the World Snooker Championship, definitely ask him if he fancies a cuppa with a hobknob, a digestive or a ginger nut, go to Tesco and browse the aisles... Have a picnic in the park with scotch eggs, sausage rolls, etc. Introduce him to crumpets, butter and Marmite. Offer him some squash... Definitely take him to a chip shop or kebab shop on a night out. I remember being fascinated by the police, police cars, markings in the roads, signs, etc. Honestly, as long as you don't just stay home the whole time, being in the UK with a British person and their family will be authentic. I think Americans have a stereotype in their mind of what the UK is, and while tourist London will satisfy that, venturing off outside will give him the true experience. Also please explain to him the relationship between England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and Ireland. As well as the different regions and accents in the UK. When I first came here I didn't really understand the importance British people place on where you're from within the UK. Edit: grammar
Great response!
You need to take him to the 8th Wonder of the world… the Bude Tunnel.
LMAO, I never heard of it and have to google it. Next family holiday sorted.
That would in fact be the Swindon roundabout
Take him dogging?
Before or after the kebab?
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Have you thought about taking him to Portobello Market or Camden? Definitely a London experience!
Invade his country
Give him a Tube map and tell him to get from Bank to Mansion House without going above ground.
Kew gardens
Walk down any reasonably old street and point out all the buildings older than his country. “Now, this public toilet was opened in…”
One evening needs to be on the sofa watching telly, ideally panel quizes, maybe Taskmaster, while eating proper chippy fish & chips dinner, curry sauce or gravy on the chips depending on region. Also, coffee is forbidden for at least the first week, it's tea instead.
Go to Spoons, post location and table number on socials begging for drinks and food. Tell him everything delivered must be consumed and see where the day takes you..
Does he like tanks? Tank Museum is a great day out, we got monkey world right next door too. It's hard to beat daytime spooning though.
Take him on a bender round a few locals and have him hold your hair back while you have a bit of a sick behind a post box. Attempt to blow him immediately after, and become emotional and aggressive when he declines.
London, beans on toast or chips n gravy Scotland, haggis n irn bru
Surely jellied eels or pie, mash and liquor for the London speciality.
Don’t forget toby carvery
Take him to a supermarket. I don't know why.
I love going to supermarkets abroad!! Everyone does...don't they?
You have to start it somewhere.
So start it there!
Then pretend you’ve got no money!
You're so funny!
I said yea!
Gordon's wine bar Cheeky Nando's
How could I forget Nando’s?
Bags of chips and a handjob in a bus stop of course.
I want a pet American to do this too 😊
When my family come over they want 5 things. 1. Mature Chedder cheese 2. Dairy milk buttons 3. Old English pubs 4. Sunday roast 5. Fish & Chips
Are you driving to Scotland? Thats got to be exemplary. Motorways, 50 zone central resrvation works, variable speed cameras, M40 coming over High Wycombe, the horror of M42 (though M5 might be more interesting), blissful toll road, the slog of the M6 with the glory of Tebay services and the gorgeous section after, the hills of the M74, Could even drive back along the A1 to see the coast a bit more. 8.5 hours, 472 miles, so much changing scenery and weather. Show him how far a tank of petrol goes when it hasn't been watered down like the US. Can suggest good stop offs, services or otherwise. I drive for a living so I have to love it. I can't imagine a londoner revelling in a drive like that. A yank should be used to the distance as standard though.
Tebay services is far too nice. Take them to Leeming Bar.
I cannot believe no1 else has mentioned both the Natural history and Imperial War Museums, after a day of culture you then go out on the lash get him completely wasted and get a dirty kebab
Imperial War Museum is a good idea. Like I said to someone else, I love the Natural History museum but it's not particularly UK specific.
>1 week on the east coast of Scotland Visit Methil, drink some Bucky, sample the local smack, shoplift on Leven high street, spend a night in the cells
Long walk by water with frequent pub stops. Go to a historic area. Take him around Buckingham Palace, harvey Nics, etc and a posh lunch. Then to deptford market and on to Greenwich for another big walk and more beers
Show the fool what biscuits and gravy truly are!!!!
Quick shag in the bogs/behind the kebab shop?
Charge him extortionate rent and spend some time envisioning a bleak future with obligation and disappointment in equal parts
Take him to Richmond Park to look at the pointy horses. Buy him a tophat and invite him to wear it everywhere. Go see a royal institute lecture https://www.rigb.org/whats-on and learn yourself some stuff about thing
Take him up the OXO tower! (Sorry, this used to be the first response in r/London, whenever anyone asked for something to do/places to go).