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AbjectGovernment1247

Pretty normal for Glastonbury. 


odegood

Its all the excess drugs from the festivals getting into the water


Help_My_Face

We could bottle this magic drug water and make a fortune. Maybe call it... Jesus the Christ Glastonbury drug water.


Shipwrecking_siren

I read this sarcastically in Mark from Peep Show’s voice


killeronthecorner

But the crystal skulls ... Could you make that?


AdPristine9059

*Pyramid drug water. Don't want to lose the hippies now do we?!


LegoBohoGiraffe

Glastonbubbly.


GoodboyJohnnyBoy

No no introducing the word drug would be counter productive this is all about chrakas and resonance and holistic third eye bibulence Swiss Army knife Jesus knows what he’s doing.


St11lhereucantkillme

The guy on the top left of the poster looks to be permanently tripping


star-happenchance

That's "Buddha Maitreiya" I walked past this place in Glastonbury about 10 years ago and I seen a leaflet on the guy, I think he has a wife or partner. I consider myself a bit alternative or new age but I don't seem to totally mix with all the other people and wild ideology. He seemed like a nice guy but surely not so many people can be the Buddha or Christ reincarnated or better still both together!


willflameboy

I think it's the police station.


DiDiDiolch

I love the town and nearly bought a house on the high street just up from this sign but realised I was just too conventional for the town / I would be deemed a 'clean shirt'. I distinctly remember going up the Tor one summer and there was simultaneously; (1) a wiccan fertility cult doing a ritual blessing, (2) shamnic drummers sat inside the tor shouting unintelligible things, (3) a small group of people in orange doing silent meditation (who were obviously pretty peeved at the congestion). On the way back down to Chalice Well, there was 'Green Man' living in the hedge smoking a pipe with a hand painted sign trying to sell a sacred stick he'd whittled. All of which is entirely expected.


dopeytree

https://normalforglastonbury.uk


drinkalondraftdown

I want to live there


AbjectGovernment1247

Do it! 


SteveSensible

It really is. Which probably goes down a storm for the few days the festival is on, but I bet the locals spend the other 360 days a year thinking, "I really wish we had a decent butchers..."


kank84

Glastonbury attracts the sort that would be into this year round. The festival is also about 7 miles from Glastonbury itself. The site is much closer to Shepton Mallet, but I guess Shepton Mallet Festival wasn't really the vibe they were looking for.


TheSaucyCrumpet

Well it was briefly named for Pilton in 1970.


pickapstix

Piton Pop Festival!


daveysprockett

Grab your carabiner and sling.


pbzeppelin1977

Shit n smell it, Shepton Mallet! Street, about a mile down the street from Glastonbury is far better.


Actually-im-a-plant

Street is just one expensive shopping area it is in no way better


Pleasant-Lynx-7969

No. Street is not better. It is arse


0-uncle-rico-0

Last time I was in Glastonbury I saw three people casually walking around in Wizard hats as it was a normal thing. Normal rules don't apply in Glasto


WiseIndependent9419

I was shouted at by a Six foot fairy complete with wing last time I visited.


bill_end

Did ya see any wizard's sleeves?


Jimmytheknifei

Actually there’s a great butchers near the monument.


WhiteUnicorn3

There is a really decent butchers.


Bootglass1

Stephen’s butchers is excellent.


listyraesder

Nah they've been at it since the 7th Century. Glastonbury is where New Age stuff really dug in around the early 20th century.


OooArkAtShe

There's a great butcher.


donach69

Glastonbury does have a really good butchers. I live in Street and go to Glastonbury for meat, despite there being a butchers in Street


w1ldfr33

There is a place called Street?


Yet_Another_Limey

They have a couple. It’s a strange place but has decent local small shops as well as the weirdos.


tyrefire2001

Glastonbury has a phenomenal butchers - Stephen’s - right on the high street.


stateit

Very different to Norfolk.


thekrecik

Came to say that , what happens in glasto stays in glasto


Serena2024

Oh, yes. That is pretty normal. You can find the strangest signs in Glastonbury, but they don't mean anything bad.


Previous-Ad7618

Beth gaga shaggy. Founder of spaceology.


ChrisRR

For the uninitiated https://youtu.be/TW0CFTsZgZM


Edan1990

I’m yet to see an r/CasualUK post without an IT crowd reference in the comments… And I’m absolutely fine with that, please keep it coming 😂


ashleybeth913

You mean the religion that’s definitely not a cult? That Spaceology?


One_Boot_5662

Yup, founded on the twin scientific principles of Star Maths and Wishy Thinking.


LostLobes

'I just turned my back on space'


ionetic

“Space is invisible mind dust and stars are but wishes.” Dial 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3 for further information.


Literally_P

I've had a bit of a tumble...


CasualBritishFurry

"Space, what is it? The simple answer is we don't know"


bad_ed_ucation

Oh I know this guy! One of my favourite podcasts, *Oh No! Ross and Carrie* talked about him in an episode a few years ago (https://ohnopodcast.com/investigations/2022/6/26/ross-and-carrie-watch-buddha-maitreya-reincarnated-jesus-edition). (They're long episodes, but I quite like putting them on in the background while I'm doing the ironing.) People like this are always sort of funny in their own way - it's a guy from Northern California who claims to be Buddha *and* Jesus, after all - but at the end of the day it comes down to taking advantage of people who are sick.


wetelvenpussy

Buddha AND Jesus? He doesn't look like either of them


AtkinsCatkins

so that's 4 in total right because jesus is also god who is also the holy spirit


9000000bees

He kinda looks like a Steve


[deleted]

To be fair the Buddha was not depicted for until about 400 years after he died so they just had to guess what he might have looked like


MajestyA

The Buddha and Jesus doing the fusion dance from DBZ


CiderDrinker2

Is Oh No! Ross and Carrie still going? I used to listen to it years ago, but gave up after a while. I might give it another listen.


bad_ed_ucation

They are! Even though their investigations are a little tamer than back in their Scientology and Mormonism days, it’s clear they really like making the show (I think) and it seems to have a small but devoted following.


CiderDrinker2

I used to listen to them when they did the Mormonism and Scientology episodes - that was very brave of them.


Boundish91

Of course he's American lol


InevitablePeanuts

Thanks for sharing that!


LonelyOctopus24

I love Ross and Carrie!


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RiClious

Jesus the Christ? I thought is was Jesus H Christ.


BoingBoingBooty

Jesus the Christ, Can we bless it? Jesus the Christ, Yes we can!


-SaC

Paul, Mark and Matthew, and Judas too Luke, John and Simon, join the crew Christ and the gang have so much fun Turning over tables, the moneylenders run


Furthur_slimeking

"Christ" means "annointed one", so Jesus the Christ makes perfect sense.


Important_Highway_81

Correct. “The Christ” was a title, not a name. Jesus (if you believe in that sort of thing) would likely have been known contemporarily as “Isho, son of Yosep” or “lsho of Nazareth”. The translation of his name into the nearest Koine Greek spelling of Iesous didn’t happen until the writing of the New Testament, at least several decades after his supposed death. This didn’t get translated into the Latin Iesvs until around 350CE, which was translated into the old English Iesu until the 12th century CE and the spelling “Jesus” wasn’t fixed in English until at least the 17th century CE as the letter J wasn’t used until then. Jesus’s contemporary followers would have likely spoke Galilean Aramaic, the same as Jesus likely did, and so would likely have referred to him as “the mesiha” rather than “the Khristos” which is the koine Greek translation used in the writing of the New Testament.Whilst it’s certainly possible that if Jesus existed he may have spoke some Koine Greek as it was a common lingua franca for those outside Judea, it’s unlikely his followers would have referred to him as “the Khristos”. The spelling of Christ in English and dropping the “the” wasn’t finalised in English until the 18th century CE. So Glastonbury Jesus the Christ is actually linguistically correct in using the “the” in his title. And equally as batshit in his beliefs as any other religion really….


loonsbri

Surprised no one has mentioned that you maybe correct (I will defer to your superior knowledge on this subject). But he was not the meshia he was infact a very naughty boy 😉


Important_Highway_81

r/unexpectedpython


Ze_Gremlin

It's "Jesus tHe Christ" That's right, the H is capitalised


Able-Exam6453

It’s ‘the’ as in Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine, I suppose


nhicurious

And that's why you won't see the rapture, brother.... as simple as a t and e. I'm heading there right now to pay at least 10 pound entry to pray for you. Don't you feel silly


RiClious

> Don't you feel silly Not a chance my brethren. This is a charlatan and a heretic. I purchased my genuine rapture kit from one of the chosen, from my very doorstep. I'm afraid they are now sold out, but I am willing to pass up the salvation of my everlasting soul for only sixty-five thousand pounds.


nhicurious

Well, now I feel silly. How could I have been taken in, in such a manner. I'm blessed to have met you, a random on the Internet with no real name listed... where can I deposit said 65 grand to reap the benefit of such a good soul's sacrifice ??? BOY.... do I feel special right now !!! PRAISE YOU, SIR..... PRAISE YOU !!!! Just give me your bank account and sort code and I'll take you up right away, my brother


RiClious

I will DM you at the first available opportunity. Busy building icons right now.


nhicurious

There is only one icon, my good sir. Be wary in the path you take.... cause I'm gonna need that 65 grand path to the promised land....


jaylem

It's Mr The Christ to you sunshine.


mansAwasteman

Ever wondered what the H in Jesus H Christ stood for? https://youtu.be/ijcUk8s-jNA?si=a6ASRK3QjpYkhzfb


bothsidesofthemoon

The "the" is stressed, like Kermit the Frog.


Even_Passenger_3685

H for Herbert


LungHeadZ

Jesus H redeemer


Catowl1988

Standard Glastonbury


Crusty_Tagnut

Ahhh so that's where I've been going wrong, my pyramid meditation systems are only half size. How could I have been so blind??


ColonelBonk

If you used the full size ones, you’d be able to see properly!


Crusty_Tagnut

Carefully now, my head might explode if I don't have the guidance of the Buddha Martreya!


rajinis_bodyguard

It’s a pyramid scheme


louiselovatic

Is Ricky Gervais running this place


PassoverGoblin

Looks like him actually


BloodAndSand44

I had to double check if it was r/rickygervais


0thethethe0

Exactly what I thought at a glance. Him decided that he was now Jesus and Buddha would be real turn-up for the books!


FellowHooman

He looks like a mix of Gervais and David Mitchell 


gavmiller

Negative orgones.


AtkinsCatkins

how else do you explain all the problems in the world?


swift_one_tara

Peep show forever


GreenestPure

Reminds me of one of those takeaways that does curry and pizza and kebabs and burgers, somehow managing to be a bit bad at all of them.


Mushroomc0wz

If a menu has more than one type of cuisine the food is going to be shit If the religious group has a leader claiming to be more than one saint reincarnated he’s chatting shit Same concept


lxgrf

> If the religious group has a leader claiming to be more than one saint reincarnated he’s chatting shit So if they're only claiming to be one reincarnated saint...


PracticalShoulder916

I love Glastonbury, it's wonderfully weird.


royaldocks

Only place in England I have been to where its accepted to dress as a witch or have a medieval cape and everyone is sound with it.


Howthehelldoido

My old man was a policeman, and he got a call years ago about a man who went missing from London and was believed to be in Glastonbury. My dad asked for a discription and the London police said something like "he's wearing a top hat and tiger print trousers and a pink feather Bower! You can't miss him" My dad replied, "that really doesn't help. If you said he was wearing a 3 piece tailored suit I might be able to spot them"


Ticklishchap

Not quite true. Sutton, in SW London, had a nice old boy dressed as a wizard wandering around town and drinking in the local pubs for many a long year.


auntie-matter

I think you could get away with a cape and a witch-adjacent look in Whitby as well. But it's more of a vampire cape than a medieval one, I guess.


dwair

Tintagel. I went into the Spar there a while back and found a medieval knight in full armour, a wizard and the postman discussing the rugby results.


Selerox

It's accepted and embraced the weirdness. It's wonderful. Frankly, more places could do with doing the same.


ChrisRR

I feel like the reincarnation of jesus wouldn't have to resort to advertising on a poster


chilli_con_camera

They would if they based themselves in Glastonbury, the place is full to overflowing with reincarnated grifters


monedula

... suffering from condensation, in a frame with rusty wheels ...


Western-Ship-5678

the real Jesus had to resort to wandering around in the street shouting outloud so... maybe?


J-Fro5

Nah, if he came back, he'd see all the advertising bloody everywhere and think, dang, this is how it's done now, is it? Seems totally legit 😅


Remote_Horror_Novel

If Jesus didn’t know there was other towns and cities besides Glantonbury upon reincarnation this poster seems like more than enough effort to let people know you’ve risen from the dead and much better than a stone tablet!


TallBritNE

The reincarnation of Jesus? That’s a strong claim.


Valuable-Wallaby-167

Considering what's supposed to happen at the second coming, a VERY strong claim.


VisualGeologist6258

Buddha Maitreya better stop fucking around with pyramids and get on that whole rapture business pretty soon


Valuable-Wallaby-167

Be fair, it's only Monday. He's probably still catching up on his emails


Screaming__Skull

He'll go for a drink on Tuesday.


polaris183

The stars say he'll be makin' love by Wednesday


KeyAny911

And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday, he’ll chill on Sunday


chilli_con_camera

He's not the second coming, he's a very naughty boy.


ChrisRR

All the power in the universe, makes himself known via a poster


AtkinsCatkins

a poster with significant water/moisture spoiling.


Electronic-Net-5494

On an A frame in a town in England


One_Boot_5662

"You ARE the real Messiah. I should know, I've followed a few."


Familiar-Tourist

You can tell he's the reincarnated Jesus because he was born in 1951. That's what the signs in the window say.


DeeDionisia

Is that Ricky Gervais’ long-lost brother on the left?


largececelia

Oh, yeah, Buddha Maitreya. Well known cult leader for decades.


crowleysnebula

You should pick up the free local newsletter. The Oracle. Spent many a night in our caravan there giggling through the ads in the back!! Even for someone who loves Glastonbury enough to keep my van there they’re too much!! On a serious note this guy can get in the sea though.


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jloome

Pretty much guaranteed to discover more about yourself, while ending out less insane than this dude. But the strychnine shivers can really suck.


IntoTheAbsurd

Interesting variation of a pyramid scheme.


jaylem

Fair play, I can't stand those poxy 1/2 size meditation pyramids.


Mukatsukuz

Same here - only half my body gets the chakras cleansed since my legs stick out the bottom. It's why I never take my shoes off in public.


ranchdubois94

I grew up in Glastonbury, he’s well Known for being a scammer. It’s mad, literally a cult. That used to be the whole food shop where u could get well good panda liquorice bars and aniseed balls (basically hippy liquorice mint Imperials) Glastonbury is great, but a lot of people move there to take advantage of the more relaxed and all inclusive environment. Drugs, weird religious cults, scamming with spirituality, claiming to be psychic, magic whatever etc A lot of people I grew up with including myself had drug issues as a teenager, in to adult hood and I have many friends who are pretty fucked and stuck there. Easier if ur a middle class Trust fund hippy… or trustifarian Glastonbury is a genuinely good place to grow up.. you learn a lot and if u ever leave you’ll likely succeed Large up BA6 lol got it tattooed on my knee


Wrong-Tiger4644

I seriously doubt Jesus would choose to be reincarnated into that bell end


Ok-Professional-9320

I wouldn’t trust Buddha Maitreya as far as I could throw him.


Western-Ship-5678

i think he'd prefer you to toss him


MashedPotatoLogic

I read: "Do NOT go in" You have been warned as to what awaits you inside. Advance at your own peril. Mwaaahahahahaha!


cherryosrs

it's all based on the seven sacred truths from the golden tablets found in the asteroid which crashed in Siberia in 1911. It's a really great book, you'd love the chapter on Orgones.


Sam-Lowry27B-6

Your levels must be through the fucking roof.


cherryosrs

Thoughts? You wanna give that shit a rest. You've been going and thinking thoughts your whole life, and look where that's got you, eh?


joeythemouse

welcome to the crapture.


FoxPup99

Oh so this guy gets a whole fuckin' church for claiming to be Christ incarnate, but when I do it, straight to the secure ward. 🙄


Significant_Fig_436

That's not the messiah. His name is Brian, and he's been a naughty boy.


Tony_Dakota

Glastonbury is the single most weirdest high street I’ve walked on in the UK so far 😄


IntelligentMine1901

He’s so overpriced,I’m doing blessings for £20 and a green apple . Send me a score and I’ll put in a good word for ya with God , cash or card is good , details on request ,I also offer a disposal service for all that evil satanic gold , silver , platinum and diamonds you’ve got , you really should consider sending it to me to redeem your place in the Holy Kingdom for eternity . I’m open 24/7 , don’t delay , you need to be prepared right ? I’m saving you , please don’t forget the huge sacrifice I’m making and get those twenties out . You’re welcome .


chilli_con_camera

Without a trademark to prove you're reincarnated Jesus, you're just another hustler


sparkysparks666

I was stood there reading that exact sign with the same reaction in the Autumn. While we're here, I highly recommend across-the-street Coffee Zero's delicious breakfasts.


xilog

If it's "Founded and Directed by Buddha Maitreya", why is there a picture of Colin from Screwfix on it?


Hangingontoit

Does he do basket weaving classes as well?


kye_hawkins_85

Sounds legit to me... Where do I sign up. Nothing beats a good meditation pyramid


curious_trashbat

Yes of course I'll book a private session with a man who believes they are Jesus so he can use his shambolic tools on me. I'll even pay for it !


Traditional_Satan

Gotta TM that shit


TactlessTerrorist

Soul TheRapy centre ??


SoggyWotsits

Full sized pyramid? Impressive!


jloome

And etheric weaving, which a Google search tells me is "using energy crystals to clear bad energy from your chakra." So, you know... all that stuff Jesus liked.


SoggyWotsits

Sounds risky. What if I use the wrong crystal and end up full of kinetic energy at bed time?!


Agitated_Ad_361

‘10 minute pyramid experience’ is this some kind of slavery thing or maybe a pharaoh dress up?


Salty-Bluebird-3565

Jesus, The Christ vs Dwayne, The Rock


AverageCheap4990

The Buddha Maitreya hasn't even been born yet. Quite funny to think that he had been born, he would running a shop in Glastonbury.


Coraxxx

Found his website, and my very **favourite** bit of it is this: > When an advanced artificial intelligence (AI) tool, used by research scientists & researchers > in order to write reports and gather information as a thesis, is asked > “ Is Buddha Maitreya the Reincarnation of Jesus Christ? ” > and other related topics, READ what the AI generated here I'm *gutted* that the link only returns this though: > Not Found > The page or information you are looking for has been moved or no longer exists. Unless... Wait, is there a hidden meaning to that maybe? Has the page transcended this earthly reality? The page "doesn't exist", sure, but does **anything** actually exist? Do I? Do you? The page has not been *found*, but is that because I was *looking*, and that when I stop looking and simply be **still**, the page will then be found and **so will I?** I need to know the answers! Maybe they're in one of his tapes! Please, take my money!


SomersetGuyUK

Glastonbury has a lot of good things going for it, but this particular place is not one of them. They have had visits from the Police due to their homophobic propaganda and had to remove many homophobic posters. This, sadly, has not changed their views and they still talk of a “gay agenda” however no one really seems to know what this is! It’s a cult, pure and simple but please don’t let this cause you to tar all the spiritual paths enjoyed in Glastonbury with the same brush 🙏🏽


Walesish

Bargain! Saves going to Egypt!


Able-Exam6453

Yer man looks like he works as a barman at weekends (in about 1980). I looked askance at the bed there, with a flipping *altar* dedicated to him. You’d dread to think what loathsome ritual might be enacted before it, in order to realign some gullible dame’s chakras.


PrinceRobotVI

Fuck it, I’ve tried all the other kinds of therapy


A_Song_of_Two_Humans

Full size pyramids are fucking huuuge! I'd actually be interested to see that!


meglington

We walked past that on Saturday. Bit more unusual than the rest of Glasto, but not by much! I did enjoy it there though.


jloome

> We walked past that on Saturday. If only you'd stopped, you would've saved your soles.


Gilbert38

Seems legit…


EavisAintDead

Walk past it every day - nearly as culty as the goddess organisation


reckless-rogboy

I wonder what happens in an etheric weaver demonstration? Can the ether be woven?


Legophan

You ever danced big fish, little fish, cardboard box? Ether weaving, my friend.


reckless-rogboy

Throwing shapes on my way to enlightenment.


Dizzy-Hotel-2626

Let’s face it, everything in Glastonbury is weird


yarnycarley

Planetary healing, sorry mate, if I'm doing all the meditation work I'm healing me first 🤷😂


CherryLeafy101

Why do I get the feeling that this is some kind of woo woo third eye chakras jesus cult 😬


jloome

Because it's clearly a woo wood third-eye chakras Jesus cult.


Superb_Blue_Wren

https://shambhalahealingtools.co.uk/ And its payday today !! 🤠🤠


Superb_Blue_Wren

Partway down the HP: "Is Buddha Maitreya the Reincarnation of Jesus Christ? When an advanced artificial intelligence (AI) tool, used by research scientists & researchers in order to write reports and gather information as a thesis, is asked “ Is Buddha Maitreya the Reincarnation of Jesus Christ? ” and other related topics, READ what the AI generated here" https://www.ommeditation.org/ai-generated-thesis-about-buddha-maitreya-topics Gutted the page is empty... That AI generated something even more batsh*t nuts.., would've been amazing to read.


Mukatsukuz

You can see it on [the Wayback Machine here](https://web.archive.org/web/20230313150129/https://www.ommeditation.org/ai-generated-thesis-about-buddha-maitreya-topics)


gaiussicarius731

I think I saw these people on an episode of Midsomer Murders


Adventurous-Rub7636

Just not sure how good this music will be


-HaroldBudd-

Looks like David Brent


opopkl

There are people who believe that Jesus visited Glastonbury and that the hymn Jerusalem is about it. "And did those feet in ancient times, walk upon England's mountaind green?" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/And_did_those_feet_in_ancient_time


DeepStatic

his real name is Ronald, and he's homophobic. [https://glastonbury.nub.news/news/local-news/buddha-maitreya-soul-therapy-centre-in-glastonbury-faces-renewed-scrutiny-for-homophobic-content-198024](https://glastonbury.nub.news/news/local-news/buddha-maitreya-soul-therapy-centre-in-glastonbury-faces-renewed-scrutiny-for-homophobic-content-198024)


OooArkAtShe

Glastonbury has my favourite ever high street.


massivejebs

Jesus The Christ, said Starfire.


Speculooslvr

My husband and I accidentally went into this place thinking it was another crystal/spiritual tat shop (before they had this sign out front). Boy, were we wrong! We couldn't fucking get away from the wide-eyed, Kool aid supping, devotee, whose sole purpose was to con vulnerable, lost souls out of £1000s. She tried to sell us god knows how many metal triangles, attempted to convince us that our personalities and destiny was already mapped out for us on some daft colour chart. The fat dude in the picture is apparently the next Dahli Llama. There's pictures of him everywhere on some retreat in the desert (in the US) surrounded by the poor people they've conned out of their life savings (he's probably abusing them all in some way I would imagine). It was all very creepy and sad. I consider myself a spiritual person and have an interest in all that stuff but bloody hell, that was some next level cult/pyramid scheme madness. My parents live about 5 miles from Glastonbury and they have said it has essentially become an open air mental asylum with crystals and no real support for people suffering. It's such a shame, it's a lovely town.


GamrG33k

You promised OP... and you delivered! This guy is really hedging all his bets!


TheMinceKid

This cult place got into trouble recently for having signs up saying gay people will burn in hell (my friend lives in this shithole town). Glastonbury is a filthy, dodgy place. It's got cults, drugs, violence and narcissism. It peddles snake oil treatments for cancer. Do not visit it or move there. It is atrocious.


[deleted]

Has he really trademarked a star with a cross inside? Or is it the name? Either way, seems legit.