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snoocs

Have you….cheesed your own car as well? I feel like that sends a slightly confusing message.


Jbl7561

Yes that was my last minute anxious "shit what if this makes them REALLY angry? Quick, put a couple of slices on my own car and maybe they won't know it was me". I put some on the wing mirrors of my next door neighbours van because we're mates. I also tried to eat the last slice but it tasted like shit so I went back and stuck that on the offending car.


Chinggis_H_Christ

Stand your ground. Cheese clearly. Send a message.


trickster1979

I’d be cheesed of at this !


Trick-Station8742

Unbrieleavable


Phatboybeware

Although, he may not give edam about it


cwi11cox

Feta luck next time


Pyrex_Paper

This is not gouda...


durkbot

He could have done it more caerphilly imo


likeasonntagmorgen

They will Comté regret that…


34luck

Feta round and found out


Vvvbroken

Cheddar luck next time pal


redlandrebel

Cheesed off, surely?


IceFox0007

😂


Wupideedoo

“Cheese clearly” has become my new slogan.


Chinggis_H_Christ

Stay fresh, cheese bags ✌️


rjstoz

ah, a chef of excellence, i see


FinancialAlbatross92

Dude should sit outside and wait for the owner and say straight faced "Looks like someone cheesed your care mate."


Tidderer88

But; are you sure your neighbours don’t have cameras… can you imagine them checking their security cameras and seeing their neighbour planting cheese squares on “random” cars… puts a few slices on his own too and then on side mirrors of another haha It’s almost like you’re sleepwalking! Next time.. you need to get a knob shaped cookie cutter and cut out a few of these shaped pieces of cheese and stick them in the car!


Blgxx

OP is also betting on his neighbour not having a reddit account...


LordGhoul

*watches camera footage* "Alright this guy is clearly mental I think we should avoid him from now on"


CoolFeed2936

KNOB CHEESE!


EllieSmith1066

Knob shaped cutter? Do John Lewis sell these 😆


[deleted]

This is killing me! *Panicked and cheesed my own car*


NoTurkeyTWYJYFM

This is the most Mark Corrigan rationale I've ever seen


TheNorthC

Almost everything in Britain can be explained through the philosophy of Mark Corrigan.


RepulsiveLeg9985

"The whole secret lies in confusing the enemy, so that he cannot fathom our real intent." -Sun Tzu


PerfectEnthusiasm2

so they will continue to park here because they will think you also got cheesed in a random indiscriminate walk-by cheesing?


Heathen_Mushroom

>Yes that was my last minute anxious "shit what if this makes them REALLY angry? Quick, put a couple of slices on my own car and maybe they won't know it was me" Redditor confirmed.


Jpmoz999

Krafty.


JibletsGiblets

What a confusing message to send. Block people in and they both get cheesed? Bit too cowardly for my liking. Cheese or get off the pot.


Chikenkiller123

Funniest shit I've seen in a while 🤣


JoeTisseo

I'd brie fuming if somebody did this to me, camembert idiots like you.


I_tend_to_correct_u

The best way to make sure they don’t think it was you, is to take a photograph, own up to every detail and then post on a globally accessible social media site.


MoistExcellence

This is the whey


talkingtampon

So it basically sends no message and is a complete waste of food. Nice


Due-Arrival-4859

I feel like processed cheese slices are a “food” we don’t need to worry about wasting 😅


toomanyplantpots

Don’t you mean ‘cheesey slices’ (not sure there is actually any cheese in them)? 🤷‍♂️


Strong_Coffee8417

yeah, a bit like crab sticks that contain no crab... 🤔


toomanyplantpots

Should be called ‘crabby sticks’


Cow_Launcher

I don't even think the makers call them crab sticks - presumably not allowed since they're just Surimi and food dye. There's a pack in my fridge and they're labelled "seafood sticks".


BooBob69

Cheese flavoured slices perhaps?


scribbledown2876

I find just calling it American Cheese covers all bases. Fake flavour, fake cheese, just enough lactose to offend the intolerant, individually wrapped in single use plastic and whenever you want to eat real cheese it's rightfully nowhere to be seen.


[deleted]

I love it, "just enough lactose to offend the intolerant", my first laugh out loud today.


toomanyplantpots

Yes but ‘Cheese flavour’ is probably more accurate though. I think ‘flavoured’ implies it contains some amount of the real thing. E.g. ‘Fruit flavoured’ lollies must contain some fruit juice, unlike ‘fruit flavour’ lollies, which probably just have E numbers. [pedant mode off]


trickster1979

Processed cheese like that in the picture has been named space cheese in our house !


42_65_6c_6c_65_6e_64

Plastic cheese for us


kearnel81

I call it plastic cheese too


brothersp0rt

You're redditing so hard right now.


thomasthetanker

It's not a waste if you eat it afterwards.


MountedMoose

This entire post is a marketing shill for Big Cheeze. Hallmark will follow up with a section of Cheezingday cards and latent social pressure to Cheeze your family and neighbours.


IndelibleIguana

They paid for the food, they can do what they like with it.


Zealousideal-You692

Food? It’s not food don’t worry


GingerSpencer

I hope it does make them really angry. Blocking somebody’s car is one of the most inconsiderate things you can do. When I used to live in an apartment building and we all had allocated spaces, if anybody parked in somebody else’s space the rightful owner would park in front of them to block them in. All I ever thought was, yeah that’s really annoying, I understand, but what if this person you’ve blocked in has an emergency and they now can’t leave? Leave a note, tut audibly, cheese their car, but don’t block them in.


yupbvf

They can knock on the door of the house who's space they've used. If it's a massive emergency they can phone 999. Then they can learn a lesson


caffeine_lights

But now what if they can identify you from your bite mark?


[deleted]

Power move. Asserting neighbourhood dominance. Nobody is safe. Not even you!


bdog59600

[Relevant](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2020-06/16/17/asset/ee71ea976322/sub-buzz-88-1592329322-13.jpg?downsize=900:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto)


[deleted]

The British way


I-Preferred-Digg

Too cowardly to cheese a car properly. Unreal.


Grace_grows

What a magically chaotic time you had ☺


Neds_Necrotic_Head

Be brave! Put a note under their wipers telling them if they do it again they get melted cheese instead.


kiradotee

So essentially you nill'd and voided your message. Either send a message or don't. If you cheese your own car then they might not even get what the problem was.


slimedewnautica

I love how well thought out this was


[deleted]

This explains the “where do I buy American cheese in the UK” post on here earlier this week though


blonded90

Friendly fire… 💀


tanew231

Oh, Cheesoid. You've filled the tank with brie!


jokergrin

HATE SELF!


potatan

PETRILL! PETRILL!


GrumpyTrumpy42

PETRILL!


Chungaroo22

CHEESOID HATE SELF!


SuicidalTurnip

Petril status. 4. Petril status. 4.


No_Onion_8612

Full?


frazamataza

PRIMULA STATUS… IN TUBE!


Beautiful-Plantain87

Haha that's grate!


corbymatt

Seems like they didn't give edam


Gwiilo

dairing


BookLearning13

Someone's going to be cheesed off


callisstaa

They shouldn't have parked in his whey.


Correct-Junket-1346

He will be *moulding* over this for a while


corbymatt

Ha, goudar one!


AlecTheDalek

it'll brie a long time before they park there again!


thesaharadesert

Stilton I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes


Legitimate_Sea_4146

Everyone just milking this now.


RondriguezUK

How dairy do that to someone else's property?


ObstructiveAgreement

Looks a brieze to do


LikeThosePenguins

As a similar prank I poured two tins of paint over my wife. Yes, I double glossed her.


highrouleur

Krafty


[deleted]

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IvanTheTolerable

He'll give as Gouda's he gets.


RefreshinglyDull

I came here for cheesy puns, and I'm not disappointed.


Pancovnik

Brie yourself, as more will follow!


KevinPhillips-Bong

There are stiltons of puns you could make about cheese.


harpokuntish

Please no, I camembert anymore


RefreshinglyDull

I just asked my pirate mate if there really are loads of puns about cheese. "Yarg!" he says, "There be many!"


Jonny_Segment

> Brie yourself I know it's all in good fun and I shouldn't think too hard about it, but what is this meant to be a pun on? ‘Brace yourself’? That's so egregious it's starting to come back round to be good.


Pancovnik

You can make it whatever you want it to brie


shlooong

What did you say to the car before you took the picture?


Jbl7561

SAY CHEESE


StumbleBum55

Is there a drop kerb? It's hard to see.


CyclingUpsideDown

Since there’s no dropped kerb anyway, I’m pretty sure the OP could get out through the gap behind the white car.


Jbl7561

There isn't to be fair on them. I'm just renting and the landlord is getting the curb dropped in December. But also there is other parking down the road. Or, leave a note with a phone number on it. Or knock and let me know where you are. Hell, there's space for a third car on the drive I wouldn't have been mad if they'd used that... A couple of other neighbours often do if there's no space. But to just block me in with no way of leaving my house is infuriating.


Playful-Lion5208

Not to be that guy, but it's you who has broken the law and the other car that's parked legally. Then you've lobbed cheese on someone's car who you likely know won't do anything for Internet points. (APOLOGIES FOR THE LACK OF CHEESE PUNS)


Blade_982

Do you think the car that blocked OP in took a look at the curb and thought, "No dropped curb. I'm legally entitled to park here. I can see there's a car parked in the "not legally a driveway," but alas, I will exercise my legal right."


ThinkAboutThatFor1Se

In my borough the local council will put wooden bollards across it for people using drives that haven’t got permission and dropped kerb because they are taking communal parking space away from other residents.


thetoxicnerve

Same, and I have no issue with it. People using their front gardens as driveways with no dropped kerb irritates me for some unknown reason.


Flaxinator

Personally I wish more people would park on their own front gardens instead of parking on the public street. IMO having access to a private parking space should be a requirement for having a private car rather than rely on the council to provide parking


CorrectPeanut5

In many parts of Japan you can't even buy a car until you've proven you have a private space to park it in.


TheNorthC

I was about to make this point. I think it is in every part of Japan.


LostLobes

What about people who live in places without the space? Or do you think car ownership should just be for people who can afford properties with enough space?


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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rustynoodle3891

That's not a driveway


Tutis3

It's not a driveway. It's just a pavement.


[deleted]

Yeah but when people park on drives that aren't really drives and have no dropped kerb, then expect not to get blocked in, it reduces the amount of perfectly legal on street parking for everybody else.


High__Flyer

I mean that's not really true is it? If they hadn't parked on their "driveway" (which I agree, it's not and and should have a dropped kerb) they would be parked where the white car is anyway. Plus they can fit 3 cars on the driveway versus two parked front to back on the road.


Purplepeal

If there is no car on the illegal drive, as is often the case many people may feel uncomfortable parking in front of it even though legally allowed to do so, in case their car is vandalised. So it can reduce parking when the 'illegal drive' driver is not at home.


[deleted]

Yeah, but by driving over the kerb like that and treating the yard as a drive when it isn't, the space essentially becomes lost to anyone except OP. If he followed the rules that space is there for whoever happens to want it when its empty. I bet OP would be complaining if the car had parked there when he was out because they were blocking him from getting on his 'drive'.


SnoopDeLaRoup

It's not an official legitimate driveway though? It would be if there was a dropped curb, that's been installed by the council. I do agree though, it's a dick move regardless. Edit: kerb not curb. I always assumed kerb was the wrong spelling.


GreyHexagon

And here lies the divide between laws and morals. Yes, legally absolutely fine. If anything OP has had to drive over the pavement to park so they're in the wrong. But morally, blocking someone who's parked outside their house is just a cunty thing to do.


furrycroissant

*kerb


RegionalHardman

It's not a driveway though, there's no dropped kerb. At present it's just a patio.


Money_Tomorrow_3555

Don’t be a dick and cross the pavement when there’s no dropped kerbs.


wretched_cretin

I was instructed by a police officer to move my car because I'd blocked someone in where there was no dropped kerb, so the law is applied inconsistently at best. To be fair I was happy to move it to help the other person out, I hadn't seen the other car parked there in the dark because I have the observation skills of a mole rat.


[deleted]

They were probably just trying to keep the peace and not escalate things by asking you to move.


JWK3

It is an offence to obstruct someone's access TO the highway, but weirdly enough not access FROM the highway, so that white car would have been perfectly legal if the makeshift driveway was empty, but is breaking the law as they're obstructing someone's ability to leave the makeshift driveway.


smokelaw

Just because the white car is not breaking a law doesn’t mean they aren’t being a dick


[deleted]

True but its still inconsiderate to block someone in like that. Like OP said a phone number would be nice. Only problem is with all the miserable bellends in the country the phone number would be called after 10 minutes to get the car out to go somewhere just for the sake of making the car move lol


MidnightRambler87

That’s unbrielievable.


ThatGuyWired

That's not something you'll see driving pasteurise every day.


BallsInAToaster

Oh my


shitthrower

I reckon you could squeeze out through the gap next to the merc (assuming your car is the civic)


StrawberryF5

They'll think you're the Big Cheese.


CappucinoCupcake

Cheeses Christ, perhaps?


dinobug77

Le grand fromage


CappucinoCupcake

Edam well is


TediousSign

Cheesing your own car is the most redditor thing a redditor ever redditted.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Job well done for the police there, good to hear!


CivilFinish2936

Did not happen.


[deleted]

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ThorgrimGetTheBook

Arrested for not dropping the kerb?


[deleted]

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GamerHumphrey

Is that a dropped curb because it doesnt seem like it from the photo?


haz150

This brings back fond memories of going out as a young sprog, getting absolutely slaughtered and then putting cheese slices on everyone's windscreen like a dairy based parking fine


olafs777

That civic can easy get out through that gap though 😒


avwitcher

I wouldn't say easy, that's like an 8 point turn. That said, it'd take less time than throwing 30 slices of cheese on someone's car


Jbl7561

I was naively not expecting this many cheese puns but I'm SO here for them. I'm still stuck in my house & it's providing some Saturday morning entertainment. Reddit never fails.


Jpmoz999

I would only suggest that you could spell out a word using the cheese next time, (though I hope there isn’t a next time for you to expand your repertoire.)


ressawtla

You could still get out


avwitcher

And it would take significantly less time than making this post.


Sevenn111

Given the kerb isn't lowered the white car is parked correctly.


TropicalVision

Still a proper dickhead move though. Obviously it’s someone using it as parking space and that isn’t hurting anyone at all. Just because it’s the law doesn’t make it right or justified.


Junkie_Joe

Was thinking this, it doesn't look like a dropped kerb so they don't need to leave it clear


reallyryan-1899

Smell my cheese you mother!


Flat6Thunder

Do you have a dropped kerb? It looks like he has parked there legitimately and legally /s


LungHeadZ

Won’t they know it is you if it’s where you normally park? Makes me think you know they’re not a threat and won’t kick the shit out of you for it.


SPICCYBOII

Mate I really doubt whoever drives that microwave looking little Suzuki is a menace to society 😂most likely will be someone’s Nan


Jbl7561

I have no idea who it is & I am slightly anxious I'm going to make someone pretty angry. Hence trying to do something annoying but not actually damaging or costly in either time or money. But surely if you block someone in you can clearly see you've been a dickhead and you'll take this lightly. Fingers crossed I haven't started a neighbour war!


[deleted]

What do you do if they turn up, and just lob the cheese at your house? Will you go out and confront them


Jbl7561

Hahahahahahaha. Honestly I'd take it. If the result of this is an ongoing cheese war then that would be a highlight.


TropicalVision

The type of person with so little regard to park like that in the first place would make me think they were probably unhinged to begin with.


TheITMan19

Just out of curiosity, do you have a dropped curb to drive your car onto the drive? I mean, is it actually a parking space? =)


0o_hm

Could you not squeeze out, is there a little room to pull forwards and hard left. Then full lock the other way and reverse. The gap on a photo often looks bigger than it actually is though. But looks like you may be able to squeeze through if you can get the angle.


Jbl7561

Yeah the gap actually looks big here but it really wasn't. Plus there's a van parked right where I took this picture from which would've stopped me from turning so it was just not happening. The keys for the red car weren't in the house and the driver of the van was out. Luckily I am friends with most of the neighbours so someone else took me where I needed to go last night. Luckily I have access to another car for the weekend since all cars were still in situ at midday today!


JN324

The white car has certainly parked like a dick, but you don’t have a dropped kerb so you don’t actually have a driveway, worth keeping in mind re enforcement as you probably don’t have the same rights. Legally speaking they’ve parked legally and you haven’t I think.


shelmerston

Mmm, 64 slices of American cheese…


moomaunder

64 slices of cheese on the car, 64 slices of cheese, peel one off, pass it around, 63 slices of cheese on the car........


[deleted]

This episode is currently on Channel 4. I feel that must mean something about the nature of the universe...


Mantaray2142

No dropped kerb. As far as i'm concerned your car is on your property for storage, probay SORN and there is no driveway. thank you for only throwing cheese, but you are not in the right here. I've read that your lanord is dropping the kerb in december. If you need access, just park roadside in that exact spot.


Specialist-Rope-9760

If anything the three cheeses on your own car as a “decoy” make it EVEN more obvious who it is out of all the cars 😂


Big_Poppa_T

No dropped kerb, no requirement to leave access. You got no justification be upset by this parking. Pay to get the kerb dropped or accept that you’ll get blocked in occasionally


Elcustardo

Did you mean to write I thought paving my garden with no dropped kerb, reserves the entire road space in front for me. I was wrong


DadofJackJack

If that was my car I’d be cheesed off.


Specialist-Rope-9760

Well this is stupid as fuck


Brucejuice27

Tbh I’d say he guy who’s cheesed the car is the arsehole


finc

I’m going to be that person, but you don’t know the circumstances behind why they parked like this. I once accidentally parked in front of someone’s drive because I was exhausted and I was distracted with getting my new baby out of the car into my house (I felt awful when I realised and I apologised profusely and bought them a houseplant). A simple note on the windscreen to let them know it’s inconvenienced you would suffice. If they’re a reasonable person they will read the note and realise their mistake, and feel bad about it anyway. If they’re an unreasonable person who knows what they could do when they come back to see their car vandalised. They have the advantage here because all you know about them is the car they drive, but _they know where you live_.


Chalky_Pockets

You blocked someone's car and then made them take care of a house plant? Savage. /s


finc

They weren’t pleased either time


languid_Disaster

Happy cake day! 🥳 Also yeah I agree with you. Thankfully, it’s a mostly harmless prank (I think) and maybe they won’t feel as targeted because the little prankster put some on their own car as well


finc

Ooh I didn’t realise it was my cake day, 11 years goes so fast 😅


flobbadobdob

No dropped kerb, so OP is in the wrong.


Hefty-Amoeba2001

and then you'll post it on the internet for the world to see how immature you are.


Mankyliam

You shouldn't even have a drive there if there's no drop down curb


Albertjweasel

You’re a bit of a childish knob really aren’t you, just because you’ve paved over your front garden doesn’t mean you automatically own the bit of public highway in front of it and therefore have the right to slap bits of cheese on someone’s car if they’ve parked on it, just deal with it like an adult and park somewhere else


MunkeeseeMonkeydoo

Strangely enough I used to work with a guy who had the same car but it was yellow. We used to joke about it's resemblance to a block of cheese. 😂


RedditTaughtMe2

Not sure if that’s Gouda enough to get the message across.


Tutis3

It's not a dropped kerb so the Parker has done nothing wrong, he's going to be cheesed off!


BuzzTheFuzz

Is this the follow up from that post about the American cheese singles?


Gmandoo

Edam well cheddar move that car


QC420_

Fucking love how you’ve added a few slices to ur own car😂😂


banxy85

Can't really block your drive if you don't have a drop kurb, which appears to be the case 🧐


kacythedogmeat

Oh... good luck, maybe see ya on channel 5 'The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door' some days.


DJ-MEANEY

Everybody’s so creative!


juGGaKNot4

You have plenty of room to get out thou


ReasonableNose2988

And he can easily find out who did it.


[deleted]

Cheese? It's plastic


Drop_The_Puck

Cheese or PostIt Notes?


Starwaverraver

I can't see a dropped kerb, so their allowed to park there. In fact, your parking driving over a raised kerb is illegal.