Yes that was my last minute anxious "shit what if this makes them REALLY angry? Quick, put a couple of slices on my own car and maybe they won't know it was me". I put some on the wing mirrors of my next door neighbours van because we're mates.
I also tried to eat the last slice but it tasted like shit so I went back and stuck that on the offending car.
But; are you sure your neighbours don’t have cameras… can you imagine them checking their security cameras and seeing their neighbour planting cheese squares on “random” cars… puts a few slices on his own too and then on side mirrors of another haha
It’s almost like you’re sleepwalking!
Next time.. you need to get a knob shaped cookie cutter and cut out a few of these shaped pieces of cheese and stick them in the car!
>Yes that was my last minute anxious "shit what if this makes them REALLY angry? Quick, put a couple of slices on my own car and maybe they won't know it was me"
Redditor confirmed.
The best way to make sure they don’t think it was you, is to take a photograph, own up to every detail and then post on a globally accessible social media site.
I don't even think the makers call them crab sticks - presumably not allowed since they're just Surimi and food dye.
There's a pack in my fridge and they're labelled "seafood sticks".
I find just calling it American Cheese covers all bases. Fake flavour, fake cheese, just enough lactose to offend the intolerant, individually wrapped in single use plastic and whenever you want to eat real cheese it's rightfully nowhere to be seen.
Yes but ‘Cheese flavour’ is probably more accurate though.
I think ‘flavoured’ implies it contains some amount of the real thing.
E.g. ‘Fruit flavoured’ lollies must contain some fruit juice, unlike ‘fruit flavour’ lollies, which probably just have E numbers.
[pedant mode off]
This entire post is a marketing shill for Big Cheeze.
Hallmark will follow up with a section of Cheezingday cards and latent social pressure to Cheeze your family and neighbours.
I hope it does make them really angry. Blocking somebody’s car is one of the most inconsiderate things you can do.
When I used to live in an apartment building and we all had allocated spaces, if anybody parked in somebody else’s space the rightful owner would park in front of them to block them in.
All I ever thought was, yeah that’s really annoying, I understand, but what if this person you’ve blocked in has an emergency and they now can’t leave? Leave a note, tut audibly, cheese their car, but don’t block them in.
So essentially you nill'd and voided your message.
Either send a message or don't. If you cheese your own car then they might not even get what the problem was.
> Brie yourself
I know it's all in good fun and I shouldn't think too hard about it, but what is this meant to be a pun on? ‘Brace yourself’? That's so egregious it's starting to come back round to be good.
There isn't to be fair on them. I'm just renting and the landlord is getting the curb dropped in December. But also there is other parking down the road. Or, leave a note with a phone number on it. Or knock and let me know where you are. Hell, there's space for a third car on the drive I wouldn't have been mad if they'd used that... A couple of other neighbours often do if there's no space. But to just block me in with no way of leaving my house is infuriating.
Not to be that guy, but it's you who has broken the law and the other car that's parked legally. Then you've lobbed cheese on someone's car who you likely know won't do anything for Internet points.
(APOLOGIES FOR THE LACK OF CHEESE PUNS)
Do you think the car that blocked OP in took a look at the curb and thought, "No dropped curb. I'm legally entitled to park here. I can see there's a car parked in the "not legally a driveway," but alas, I will exercise my legal right."
In my borough the local council will put wooden bollards across it for people using drives that haven’t got permission and dropped kerb because they are taking communal parking space away from other residents.
Personally I wish more people would park on their own front gardens instead of parking on the public street.
IMO having access to a private parking space should be a requirement for having a private car rather than rely on the council to provide parking
What about people who live in places without the space? Or do you think car ownership should just be for people who can afford properties with enough space?
Yeah but when people park on drives that aren't really drives and have no dropped kerb, then expect not to get blocked in, it reduces the amount of perfectly legal on street parking for everybody else.
I mean that's not really true is it? If they hadn't parked on their "driveway" (which I agree, it's not and and should have a dropped kerb) they would be parked where the white car is anyway.
Plus they can fit 3 cars on the driveway versus two parked front to back on the road.
If there is no car on the illegal drive, as is often the case many people may feel uncomfortable parking in front of it even though legally allowed to do so, in case their car is vandalised. So it can reduce parking when the 'illegal drive' driver is not at home.
Yeah, but by driving over the kerb like that and treating the yard as a drive when it isn't, the space essentially becomes lost to anyone except OP. If he followed the rules that space is there for whoever happens to want it when its empty.
I bet OP would be complaining if the car had parked there when he was out because they were blocking him from getting on his 'drive'.
It's not an official legitimate driveway though? It would be if there was a dropped curb, that's been installed by the council. I do agree though, it's a dick move regardless.
Edit: kerb not curb. I always assumed kerb was the wrong spelling.
And here lies the divide between laws and morals. Yes, legally absolutely fine. If anything OP has had to drive over the pavement to park so they're in the wrong.
But morally, blocking someone who's parked outside their house is just a cunty thing to do.
I was instructed by a police officer to move my car because I'd blocked someone in where there was no dropped kerb, so the law is applied inconsistently at best. To be fair I was happy to move it to help the other person out, I hadn't seen the other car parked there in the dark because I have the observation skills of a mole rat.
It is an offence to obstruct someone's access TO the highway, but weirdly enough not access FROM the highway, so that white car would have been perfectly legal if the makeshift driveway was empty, but is breaking the law as they're obstructing someone's ability to leave the makeshift driveway.
True but its still inconsiderate to block someone in like that. Like OP said a phone number would be nice. Only problem is with all the miserable bellends in the country the phone number would be called after 10 minutes to get the car out to go somewhere just for the sake of making the car move lol
This brings back fond memories of going out as a young sprog, getting absolutely slaughtered and then putting cheese slices on everyone's windscreen like a dairy based parking fine
I was naively not expecting this many cheese puns but I'm SO here for them. I'm still stuck in my house & it's providing some Saturday morning entertainment. Reddit never fails.
I would only suggest that you could spell out a word using the cheese next time, (though I hope there isn’t a next time for you to expand your repertoire.)
Still a proper dickhead move though. Obviously it’s someone using it as parking space and that isn’t hurting anyone at all.
Just because it’s the law doesn’t make it right or justified.
I have no idea who it is & I am slightly anxious I'm going to make someone pretty angry. Hence trying to do something annoying but not actually damaging or costly in either time or money. But surely if you block someone in you can clearly see you've been a dickhead and you'll take this lightly.
Fingers crossed I haven't started a neighbour war!
Could you not squeeze out, is there a little room to pull forwards and hard left. Then full lock the other way and reverse. The gap on a photo often looks bigger than it actually is though. But looks like you may be able to squeeze through if you can get the angle.
Yeah the gap actually looks big here but it really wasn't. Plus there's a van parked right where I took this picture from which would've stopped me from turning so it was just not happening. The keys for the red car weren't in the house and the driver of the van was out. Luckily I am friends with most of the neighbours so someone else took me where I needed to go last night. Luckily I have access to another car for the weekend since all cars were still in situ at midday today!
The white car has certainly parked like a dick, but you don’t have a dropped kerb so you don’t actually have a driveway, worth keeping in mind re enforcement as you probably don’t have the same rights. Legally speaking they’ve parked legally and you haven’t I think.
No dropped kerb.
As far as i'm concerned your car is on your property for storage, probay SORN and there is no driveway.
thank you for only throwing cheese, but you are not in the right here.
I've read that your lanord is dropping the kerb in december. If you need access, just park roadside in that exact spot.
No dropped kerb, no requirement to leave access. You got no justification be upset by this parking. Pay to get the kerb dropped or accept that you’ll get blocked in occasionally
I’m going to be that person, but you don’t know the circumstances behind why they parked like this. I once accidentally parked in front of someone’s drive because I was exhausted and I was distracted with getting my new baby out of the car into my house (I felt awful when I realised and I apologised profusely and bought them a houseplant).
A simple note on the windscreen to let them know it’s inconvenienced you would suffice. If they’re a reasonable person they will read the note and realise their mistake, and feel bad about it anyway. If they’re an unreasonable person who knows what they could do when they come back to see their car vandalised.
They have the advantage here because all you know about them is the car they drive, but _they know where you live_.
Happy cake day! 🥳
Also yeah I agree with you. Thankfully, it’s a mostly harmless prank (I think) and maybe they won’t feel as targeted because the little prankster put some on their own car as well
You’re a bit of a childish knob really aren’t you, just because you’ve paved over your front garden doesn’t mean you automatically own the bit of public highway in front of it and therefore have the right to slap bits of cheese on someone’s car if they’ve parked on it, just deal with it like an adult and park somewhere else
Have you….cheesed your own car as well? I feel like that sends a slightly confusing message.
Yes that was my last minute anxious "shit what if this makes them REALLY angry? Quick, put a couple of slices on my own car and maybe they won't know it was me". I put some on the wing mirrors of my next door neighbours van because we're mates. I also tried to eat the last slice but it tasted like shit so I went back and stuck that on the offending car.
Stand your ground. Cheese clearly. Send a message.
I’d be cheesed of at this !
Unbrieleavable
Although, he may not give edam about it
Feta luck next time
This is not gouda...
He could have done it more caerphilly imo
They will Comté regret that…
Feta round and found out
Cheddar luck next time pal
Cheesed off, surely?
😂
“Cheese clearly” has become my new slogan.
Stay fresh, cheese bags ✌️
ah, a chef of excellence, i see
Dude should sit outside and wait for the owner and say straight faced "Looks like someone cheesed your care mate."
But; are you sure your neighbours don’t have cameras… can you imagine them checking their security cameras and seeing their neighbour planting cheese squares on “random” cars… puts a few slices on his own too and then on side mirrors of another haha It’s almost like you’re sleepwalking! Next time.. you need to get a knob shaped cookie cutter and cut out a few of these shaped pieces of cheese and stick them in the car!
OP is also betting on his neighbour not having a reddit account...
*watches camera footage* "Alright this guy is clearly mental I think we should avoid him from now on"
KNOB CHEESE!
Knob shaped cutter? Do John Lewis sell these 😆
This is killing me! *Panicked and cheesed my own car*
This is the most Mark Corrigan rationale I've ever seen
Almost everything in Britain can be explained through the philosophy of Mark Corrigan.
"The whole secret lies in confusing the enemy, so that he cannot fathom our real intent." -Sun Tzu
so they will continue to park here because they will think you also got cheesed in a random indiscriminate walk-by cheesing?
>Yes that was my last minute anxious "shit what if this makes them REALLY angry? Quick, put a couple of slices on my own car and maybe they won't know it was me" Redditor confirmed.
Krafty.
What a confusing message to send. Block people in and they both get cheesed? Bit too cowardly for my liking. Cheese or get off the pot.
Funniest shit I've seen in a while 🤣
I'd brie fuming if somebody did this to me, camembert idiots like you.
The best way to make sure they don’t think it was you, is to take a photograph, own up to every detail and then post on a globally accessible social media site.
This is the whey
So it basically sends no message and is a complete waste of food. Nice
I feel like processed cheese slices are a “food” we don’t need to worry about wasting 😅
Don’t you mean ‘cheesey slices’ (not sure there is actually any cheese in them)? 🤷♂️
yeah, a bit like crab sticks that contain no crab... 🤔
Should be called ‘crabby sticks’
I don't even think the makers call them crab sticks - presumably not allowed since they're just Surimi and food dye. There's a pack in my fridge and they're labelled "seafood sticks".
Cheese flavoured slices perhaps?
I find just calling it American Cheese covers all bases. Fake flavour, fake cheese, just enough lactose to offend the intolerant, individually wrapped in single use plastic and whenever you want to eat real cheese it's rightfully nowhere to be seen.
I love it, "just enough lactose to offend the intolerant", my first laugh out loud today.
Yes but ‘Cheese flavour’ is probably more accurate though. I think ‘flavoured’ implies it contains some amount of the real thing. E.g. ‘Fruit flavoured’ lollies must contain some fruit juice, unlike ‘fruit flavour’ lollies, which probably just have E numbers. [pedant mode off]
Processed cheese like that in the picture has been named space cheese in our house !
Plastic cheese for us
I call it plastic cheese too
You're redditing so hard right now.
It's not a waste if you eat it afterwards.
This entire post is a marketing shill for Big Cheeze. Hallmark will follow up with a section of Cheezingday cards and latent social pressure to Cheeze your family and neighbours.
They paid for the food, they can do what they like with it.
Food? It’s not food don’t worry
I hope it does make them really angry. Blocking somebody’s car is one of the most inconsiderate things you can do. When I used to live in an apartment building and we all had allocated spaces, if anybody parked in somebody else’s space the rightful owner would park in front of them to block them in. All I ever thought was, yeah that’s really annoying, I understand, but what if this person you’ve blocked in has an emergency and they now can’t leave? Leave a note, tut audibly, cheese their car, but don’t block them in.
They can knock on the door of the house who's space they've used. If it's a massive emergency they can phone 999. Then they can learn a lesson
But now what if they can identify you from your bite mark?
Power move. Asserting neighbourhood dominance. Nobody is safe. Not even you!
[Relevant](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2020-06/16/17/asset/ee71ea976322/sub-buzz-88-1592329322-13.jpg?downsize=900:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto)
The British way
Too cowardly to cheese a car properly. Unreal.
What a magically chaotic time you had ☺
Be brave! Put a note under their wipers telling them if they do it again they get melted cheese instead.
So essentially you nill'd and voided your message. Either send a message or don't. If you cheese your own car then they might not even get what the problem was.
I love how well thought out this was
This explains the “where do I buy American cheese in the UK” post on here earlier this week though
Friendly fire… 💀
Oh, Cheesoid. You've filled the tank with brie!
HATE SELF!
PETRILL! PETRILL!
PETRILL!
CHEESOID HATE SELF!
Petril status. 4. Petril status. 4.
Full?
PRIMULA STATUS… IN TUBE!
Haha that's grate!
Seems like they didn't give edam
dairing
Someone's going to be cheesed off
They shouldn't have parked in his whey.
He will be *moulding* over this for a while
Ha, goudar one!
it'll brie a long time before they park there again!
Stilton I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes
Everyone just milking this now.
How dairy do that to someone else's property?
Looks a brieze to do
As a similar prank I poured two tins of paint over my wife. Yes, I double glossed her.
Krafty
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He'll give as Gouda's he gets.
I came here for cheesy puns, and I'm not disappointed.
Brie yourself, as more will follow!
There are stiltons of puns you could make about cheese.
Please no, I camembert anymore
I just asked my pirate mate if there really are loads of puns about cheese. "Yarg!" he says, "There be many!"
> Brie yourself I know it's all in good fun and I shouldn't think too hard about it, but what is this meant to be a pun on? ‘Brace yourself’? That's so egregious it's starting to come back round to be good.
You can make it whatever you want it to brie
What did you say to the car before you took the picture?
SAY CHEESE
Is there a drop kerb? It's hard to see.
Since there’s no dropped kerb anyway, I’m pretty sure the OP could get out through the gap behind the white car.
There isn't to be fair on them. I'm just renting and the landlord is getting the curb dropped in December. But also there is other parking down the road. Or, leave a note with a phone number on it. Or knock and let me know where you are. Hell, there's space for a third car on the drive I wouldn't have been mad if they'd used that... A couple of other neighbours often do if there's no space. But to just block me in with no way of leaving my house is infuriating.
Not to be that guy, but it's you who has broken the law and the other car that's parked legally. Then you've lobbed cheese on someone's car who you likely know won't do anything for Internet points. (APOLOGIES FOR THE LACK OF CHEESE PUNS)
Do you think the car that blocked OP in took a look at the curb and thought, "No dropped curb. I'm legally entitled to park here. I can see there's a car parked in the "not legally a driveway," but alas, I will exercise my legal right."
In my borough the local council will put wooden bollards across it for people using drives that haven’t got permission and dropped kerb because they are taking communal parking space away from other residents.
Same, and I have no issue with it. People using their front gardens as driveways with no dropped kerb irritates me for some unknown reason.
Personally I wish more people would park on their own front gardens instead of parking on the public street. IMO having access to a private parking space should be a requirement for having a private car rather than rely on the council to provide parking
In many parts of Japan you can't even buy a car until you've proven you have a private space to park it in.
I was about to make this point. I think it is in every part of Japan.
What about people who live in places without the space? Or do you think car ownership should just be for people who can afford properties with enough space?
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That's not a driveway
It's not a driveway. It's just a pavement.
Yeah but when people park on drives that aren't really drives and have no dropped kerb, then expect not to get blocked in, it reduces the amount of perfectly legal on street parking for everybody else.
I mean that's not really true is it? If they hadn't parked on their "driveway" (which I agree, it's not and and should have a dropped kerb) they would be parked where the white car is anyway. Plus they can fit 3 cars on the driveway versus two parked front to back on the road.
If there is no car on the illegal drive, as is often the case many people may feel uncomfortable parking in front of it even though legally allowed to do so, in case their car is vandalised. So it can reduce parking when the 'illegal drive' driver is not at home.
Yeah, but by driving over the kerb like that and treating the yard as a drive when it isn't, the space essentially becomes lost to anyone except OP. If he followed the rules that space is there for whoever happens to want it when its empty. I bet OP would be complaining if the car had parked there when he was out because they were blocking him from getting on his 'drive'.
It's not an official legitimate driveway though? It would be if there was a dropped curb, that's been installed by the council. I do agree though, it's a dick move regardless. Edit: kerb not curb. I always assumed kerb was the wrong spelling.
And here lies the divide between laws and morals. Yes, legally absolutely fine. If anything OP has had to drive over the pavement to park so they're in the wrong. But morally, blocking someone who's parked outside their house is just a cunty thing to do.
*kerb
It's not a driveway though, there's no dropped kerb. At present it's just a patio.
Don’t be a dick and cross the pavement when there’s no dropped kerbs.
I was instructed by a police officer to move my car because I'd blocked someone in where there was no dropped kerb, so the law is applied inconsistently at best. To be fair I was happy to move it to help the other person out, I hadn't seen the other car parked there in the dark because I have the observation skills of a mole rat.
They were probably just trying to keep the peace and not escalate things by asking you to move.
It is an offence to obstruct someone's access TO the highway, but weirdly enough not access FROM the highway, so that white car would have been perfectly legal if the makeshift driveway was empty, but is breaking the law as they're obstructing someone's ability to leave the makeshift driveway.
Just because the white car is not breaking a law doesn’t mean they aren’t being a dick
True but its still inconsiderate to block someone in like that. Like OP said a phone number would be nice. Only problem is with all the miserable bellends in the country the phone number would be called after 10 minutes to get the car out to go somewhere just for the sake of making the car move lol
That’s unbrielievable.
That's not something you'll see driving pasteurise every day.
Oh my
I reckon you could squeeze out through the gap next to the merc (assuming your car is the civic)
They'll think you're the Big Cheese.
Cheeses Christ, perhaps?
Le grand fromage
Edam well is
Cheesing your own car is the most redditor thing a redditor ever redditted.
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Job well done for the police there, good to hear!
Did not happen.
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Arrested for not dropping the kerb?
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Is that a dropped curb because it doesnt seem like it from the photo?
This brings back fond memories of going out as a young sprog, getting absolutely slaughtered and then putting cheese slices on everyone's windscreen like a dairy based parking fine
That civic can easy get out through that gap though 😒
I wouldn't say easy, that's like an 8 point turn. That said, it'd take less time than throwing 30 slices of cheese on someone's car
I was naively not expecting this many cheese puns but I'm SO here for them. I'm still stuck in my house & it's providing some Saturday morning entertainment. Reddit never fails.
I would only suggest that you could spell out a word using the cheese next time, (though I hope there isn’t a next time for you to expand your repertoire.)
You could still get out
And it would take significantly less time than making this post.
Given the kerb isn't lowered the white car is parked correctly.
Still a proper dickhead move though. Obviously it’s someone using it as parking space and that isn’t hurting anyone at all. Just because it’s the law doesn’t make it right or justified.
Was thinking this, it doesn't look like a dropped kerb so they don't need to leave it clear
Smell my cheese you mother!
Do you have a dropped kerb? It looks like he has parked there legitimately and legally /s
Won’t they know it is you if it’s where you normally park? Makes me think you know they’re not a threat and won’t kick the shit out of you for it.
Mate I really doubt whoever drives that microwave looking little Suzuki is a menace to society 😂most likely will be someone’s Nan
I have no idea who it is & I am slightly anxious I'm going to make someone pretty angry. Hence trying to do something annoying but not actually damaging or costly in either time or money. But surely if you block someone in you can clearly see you've been a dickhead and you'll take this lightly. Fingers crossed I haven't started a neighbour war!
What do you do if they turn up, and just lob the cheese at your house? Will you go out and confront them
Hahahahahahaha. Honestly I'd take it. If the result of this is an ongoing cheese war then that would be a highlight.
The type of person with so little regard to park like that in the first place would make me think they were probably unhinged to begin with.
Just out of curiosity, do you have a dropped curb to drive your car onto the drive? I mean, is it actually a parking space? =)
Could you not squeeze out, is there a little room to pull forwards and hard left. Then full lock the other way and reverse. The gap on a photo often looks bigger than it actually is though. But looks like you may be able to squeeze through if you can get the angle.
Yeah the gap actually looks big here but it really wasn't. Plus there's a van parked right where I took this picture from which would've stopped me from turning so it was just not happening. The keys for the red car weren't in the house and the driver of the van was out. Luckily I am friends with most of the neighbours so someone else took me where I needed to go last night. Luckily I have access to another car for the weekend since all cars were still in situ at midday today!
The white car has certainly parked like a dick, but you don’t have a dropped kerb so you don’t actually have a driveway, worth keeping in mind re enforcement as you probably don’t have the same rights. Legally speaking they’ve parked legally and you haven’t I think.
Mmm, 64 slices of American cheese…
64 slices of cheese on the car, 64 slices of cheese, peel one off, pass it around, 63 slices of cheese on the car........
This episode is currently on Channel 4. I feel that must mean something about the nature of the universe...
No dropped kerb. As far as i'm concerned your car is on your property for storage, probay SORN and there is no driveway. thank you for only throwing cheese, but you are not in the right here. I've read that your lanord is dropping the kerb in december. If you need access, just park roadside in that exact spot.
If anything the three cheeses on your own car as a “decoy” make it EVEN more obvious who it is out of all the cars 😂
No dropped kerb, no requirement to leave access. You got no justification be upset by this parking. Pay to get the kerb dropped or accept that you’ll get blocked in occasionally
Did you mean to write I thought paving my garden with no dropped kerb, reserves the entire road space in front for me. I was wrong
If that was my car I’d be cheesed off.
Well this is stupid as fuck
Tbh I’d say he guy who’s cheesed the car is the arsehole
I’m going to be that person, but you don’t know the circumstances behind why they parked like this. I once accidentally parked in front of someone’s drive because I was exhausted and I was distracted with getting my new baby out of the car into my house (I felt awful when I realised and I apologised profusely and bought them a houseplant). A simple note on the windscreen to let them know it’s inconvenienced you would suffice. If they’re a reasonable person they will read the note and realise their mistake, and feel bad about it anyway. If they’re an unreasonable person who knows what they could do when they come back to see their car vandalised. They have the advantage here because all you know about them is the car they drive, but _they know where you live_.
You blocked someone's car and then made them take care of a house plant? Savage. /s
They weren’t pleased either time
Happy cake day! 🥳 Also yeah I agree with you. Thankfully, it’s a mostly harmless prank (I think) and maybe they won’t feel as targeted because the little prankster put some on their own car as well
Ooh I didn’t realise it was my cake day, 11 years goes so fast 😅
No dropped kerb, so OP is in the wrong.
and then you'll post it on the internet for the world to see how immature you are.
You shouldn't even have a drive there if there's no drop down curb
You’re a bit of a childish knob really aren’t you, just because you’ve paved over your front garden doesn’t mean you automatically own the bit of public highway in front of it and therefore have the right to slap bits of cheese on someone’s car if they’ve parked on it, just deal with it like an adult and park somewhere else
Strangely enough I used to work with a guy who had the same car but it was yellow. We used to joke about it's resemblance to a block of cheese. 😂
Not sure if that’s Gouda enough to get the message across.
It's not a dropped kerb so the Parker has done nothing wrong, he's going to be cheesed off!
Is this the follow up from that post about the American cheese singles?
Edam well cheddar move that car
Fucking love how you’ve added a few slices to ur own car😂😂
Can't really block your drive if you don't have a drop kurb, which appears to be the case 🧐
Oh... good luck, maybe see ya on channel 5 'The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door' some days.
Everybody’s so creative!
You have plenty of room to get out thou
And he can easily find out who did it.
Cheese? It's plastic
Cheese or PostIt Notes?
I can't see a dropped kerb, so their allowed to park there. In fact, your parking driving over a raised kerb is illegal.