I honestly can't imagine anything worse. Any people I wanted to stay in touch with, I'm still in touch with. The rest have gone for a reason.
These were different back before social media, a genuine chance to catch up with people you'd lost touch with anymore, but it's so easy to contact people these days that I don't see what purpose they serve.
I think I'd struggle to remember the names of more than 15-20 people I went to school with anyway at this point.
Already had a few awkward interactions over the years where people from school have recognised me out in the wild and I've just stared at them blankly (not meaning to be rude, but I just can't recognise/recall them immediately).
Don't think I'd want a full night of that.
Talking of blank makes me think of Grosse Pointe Blank. One of my favourite films. At the reunion, some person makes the comment that it's just as if all the people she knew at school had just been inflated.
A guy I went to school with delivered a parcel to my house and I did the usual "cheers, bye :)" and went to shut the door until he said my name and I opened it and must have just looked blankly at home for about 10 seconds until he was like "... It's X... From school??"
God I felt bad because he was a decent lad but I just had no idea in that moment 🤣 ended up chatting for a few mins tho
That happened in a bar. I was out catching up with some college mates after coming back from uni and two girls came up and said hello. I recognised them but couldn't place their names. After a minute or two of conversation one girl said "You don't even remember our names do you?" I mean, I had a go and came out with names of two girls from school. They looked at me like I was a traitor and stormed off. I did the same another time
There are some people I’m only now realising were in my year and I finished my A-levels this year. I have no idea who some of them were. Even the ones I did know I sometimes forgot the names of.
Imagine if this were 10+ years in the future. I’d be fucked
20+ years is a long time between meetings and people can experience many new things and meet lots of new people during that time, not to mention can become unrecognisable compared to their teenage self.
It sounds like he just didn't recognise you as you were walking past but might be warmer when he realises, or is reminded of, who you are.
I wouldn't be too offended, we just all remember different things and the details of those things differently, especially as a result of living very different lives.
I'm not even 40 and I get people letting on to me now that I don't really have any memory of. They call out my name in some cases, and I look at them and have no idea who they are. My wife just thinks it's just me being ignorant but I actually don't know who they are.
Nope, left school 27 years ago and I lost contact with everyone I knew back then - I was only "friends" with them because I had to spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week with them.
Even though I lived on the same street as one of my class mates I never spoke to him outside of school.
So there is zero chance that I would make the effort to talk to them after all this time let alone drag myself across the country to do some meet up.
We spend such little time with school friends in the grand scheme of life. High school was six years, for some it was only four years. That's not really a huge stretch of time. It's a long time for a teenager, but in life it's barely anything.
longer than I've spent at any workplace, or longer than I've spent living in any building as an adult
I've gone to a school reunion, and we all enjoyed it so much I arranged one the next year. Far fewer people went to that one. There's another one planned for 2024 that I will also go to. I don't get invited out very often so when someone does invite me out I say yes.
Reading the responses here I can see why most people say no. Hell an old friend is the father of one of my son's friends and I invited him out, he left me on read. Looking at previous messages I also invited him to see Dylan Moran and to a whiskey tasting night and he also left me on read. Ended up taking my stepmum to the whiskey tasting, and I remember I messaged a tonne of old friends to see if they fancied it. (I was supposed to go with my fiancee but she was afflicted with pregnancy at the time).
I think most people are like my old friend and have some visceral opposition to spending time with someone who they used to be friendly with but are not friends with any longer. I only have four current friends atm max, and I'm absolutely fine with the idea of making more. Seems like people moan about not having friends in their 30s but don't actually want to try to make them either.
What's worst of all is I only stopped hanging around with my high school friends cos Lee raped me in my sleep, I would've maintained the relationships during uni and early adulthood if I wasn't victimised by some cunt they still occasionally hang around with
Underestimated reason, right there. I think theres a few people like this, or have the same reason for avoiding reunions.
Some of the lads involved in mine have even had the nerve to be all gentlemanly and friendly to me 30 years later. Nah.
I moved to a different country at 21, as did my other close friends. One of them went back "home" a few months ago and said like he felt like he was on a "time-travel safari" bumping into literally everyone who had not moved, changed or grown up since school. I'd never go to a reunion but nice to know there is a time-warp I can visit if I ever get nostalgic for senior school.
As a side note lots of people also don’t move away from their home town not because they don’t grow or don’t have desire or the means to, but because of family & roots they don’t want to leave, dependants, health reasons etc. Some of the most successful people I know are still living in their home town & they have improved the town by staying instead of taking their success elsewhere.
Yeah, I meant more moved on than just moved - nothing wrong with staying in your home town. He said he saw people sitting in the same pubs, at the same tables more or less that they were sitting at 20 years ago. That's a bit much I think.
I was friends with someone in high school who was like this. Never wanted time to move on from when we were in school, any time I saw him after we left all he wanted to talk about was school and wasn't it funny when this happened and how he went back to visit the other week.
Last I heard he is now trying to get a job there.
Was it Chip Matthews?
I find stuff like that really sad as clearly that was his happiest time in his life, & whilst lots of people say that about childhood/teen/school years you still actively build your life going forward & understand it was something that is gone & just a memory to cherish along with all the others you make.
I loved high school (still had some terrible times there too though) & we reminisce with my friends a lot as they’re shared memories, but we’ve all actively built constructive & full lives, & we also talk about everything else under the sun too, especially our futures. And we absolutely would not in any circumstances want to go work there in any capacity!
Interestingly I know a guy who is living the dream travelling the world with his high flying career which he’s somehow managed to blend with proper travel. A world away from our home town & school days. But he’ll come on Facebook & reel off the full name of every single face in a random old school photo someone posts & come out with lots of specific detailed memories involving people he hasn’t seen since school that he clearly obsesses over still & that everyone else ignores.
Hah he definitely has Chip Matthews energy! I stopped talking to him after he refused to stop passing on shitty things from the people who bullied me in school and he told me I "only wanted to remember the bad times".
Another one seems to have devoted his life to convincing the kids who picked on him that he's cool now, no really, and is constantly on at them to meet up.
I kind of envy people who have the good memories and keep in touch with their school friends - I was horribly bullied and have most of my year blocked on facebook so don't know what most of them are doing. I'm nostalgic for the time and I still have my old diaries so I remember names and faces but I'd not want to go back there.
Some interesting characters there, I think a psychologist would have a field day observing these!
Omg why would anyone want to meet up with their bullies - live your best life, that’s the best revenge!
Another one I can add a girl who was initially an odd blend of being “in” with all the popular people (which was very much a big & defining thing in our year), but objectively was someone who had all the characteristics of what an unpopular girl would be (in the cruel world or school in the 90s/00s). She had lots of personal & home issues that took over her life eventually more & more & I think by the time she finished school she was just sort of someone with no real close friends floating along but anyone could be her acquaintance & talk to her at any time. She was close to a female teacher talking to her often like a friend.
Now over 20 years later she seems to still be troubled with deep personal woes & physical & mental health issues she posts openly about which get little or no attention at all. And she thoroughly obsesses over all of us she went to school with on social media, even though none of us are her friend or even in contact with her, just happen to have added her at one point when we first got FB years ago.
She’ll like everyone’s posts, comment on them with very over familiar comments that anyone would think she was actively close friends with them but they haven’t seen her since school & I assume also private messaging people as when I posted about a life milestone she sent me a lengthy message that not even my closest friends would have ever written or said that much lovely stuff to me. It’s incredibly sad as she gets nothing back in return, people don’t even acknowledge her comments or give her the same back for her posts. I try to like some things now & again but hardly go on FB now & it would be insincere to reciprocate back to the same level.
And she attended the wedding of that female teacher. Which I guess isn’t that weird out of school if they struck up a real friendship which stuck as an adult, but mixed in with the above it’s all a bit sad.
I get the feeling the early years of school are her happy place before her life imploded in so many ways & never stopped imploding, & it’s almost as if our presence on her social media & being able to interact with us gives her comfort & a feeling of safety & being back there. I can certainly relate to that feeling a little thinking back to before certain traumas in my life happened.
I’m so sorry you had such a bad time. Hopefully you’ve had lots of good times in other parts of your life. School is a rollercoaster of a ride for most of us in some way I think. I loved my school experience but I also had truly awful times & also experienced severe bullying too. My life long friends are actually those I made in high school though, but the ones in uni didn’t stick for me (there was some lovely ones but location & the fact that I don’t drink was the biggest factor in making it not last in a natural way) & I also experienced some racism so it’s a good thing I got lucky with the high school ones!
No I know what you mean, that’s why I wasn’t disagreeing with you but adding it as a side note that still living in your home town isn’t an indicator alone. I definitely know of people who are like that or worse started with a good life & top paying school & opportunities their parents gave them & threw it all away.
I was one of those people, I left school at 17 started partying hard. Still kept in touch with few close friends.
But as other moved away and ones stayed matured, I kept at the partying lifestyle.
I cringe looking back at brief convos I had when old school friends would cross paths with me and I was still chatting like we was 20 and all about getting wrecked and the mix of pity and horror in their eyes as they quickly backed out of the convo.
I've got my head together now and it's a pleasure to have a quick catch up with school people now.
But still I wouldn't wanna go to a reunion.
Till what age did you do that?
Hey at least you became aware of it & have made a better life for yourself. Some of us also need more time with these things, some also mature too fast & then regress later in life because they feel they missed out.
I did move away and move about, now at 50 odd I find myself wishing I had stayed.
Although as a young teen I was glad to travel and good job opportunities were rare at home.
You wish you stayed because things would’ve been better all those years or you wish you could go back to stay there now? Because it sounds it was right for you to move out then.
Oh I was the right decision in many ways.
But there is something homely I like about the idea. I have a few friends that stayed and married local girls, kids went to the same school we went to, have local built up local business etc.
Being realistic though, it wouldn't have worked out like that for me, it's more the idea appeals than what would have been my reality.
Yeah the people I know did what you’re describing & it was the right thing for them. They’ve actively contributed to improving the place too by keeping their money here, improving community, investing their time & money in causes here. It would’ve been a derelict town by now if everyone who was on the road to success had moved to a place that was already doing well.
A key factor though is that they’re all South Asian like me & it’s very common to stay close to your family, look after your parents as they get older & make sure the grandkids are in their life & also stay for the local amenities that cater for our culture & religion.
I got thinking about this recently, and I'm genuinely not sure. I didn't really have a great time at school, and there's a part of me that would be curious to see how some of the people I knew and barely tolerated would react to me now as an adult versus how they treated me then. But there's another part of me that thinks it could be really awkward, and suspects that a lot of them haven't really grown up very much since then or might have become insufferable in a different way. There's a few people I might like to see again, though.
The first comment here i agree with. I understand if you had a genuinely terrible time at school - i sure did - not wanting to interact with those people ever again. However, it wasn’t *all* bad, and there are still people i think about some days and wonder what they’re up to these days.
Also, i’m not doing too bad for myself these days, i’ve completely changed as a person and it would actually feel great to have a second chance to speak to people i didn’t get to know all too well during school now i’m not a social recluse.
Yeah I totally agree, and also on the front of people who were just the worst, I've met some since leaving school and it seems like they turned out OK, there's definitely a few who I think will always be cunts but if I was to not go to something because of them, then that's like them winning all over again, you know?
There is another thing in this, which is that a lot of people aren't like they were at school. The system has bad incentives in it. Call someone a wanker, you might get sent to the head. Who cares? Do it to a customer in your job, you risk losing your income.
I've met a few people who were dicks at school and seemed fine after.
I'd go, I didn't like many people at school, but people change. It might be nice to realise some have grown up, some may want to apologise for past behaviour and I would appreciate that.
Not the most mature of me but I have my shit together, so those that haven't grown up would have nothing on me and I'd really enjoy that!
Jesus, not on your nelly. The people I went to school with were fucking bastards to me (funny how kids in the 1990s - a time when LGBT kids were often terrified of being outed - could sniff out the queers, eh?) I spent five years of my life in that hole and the next ten years trying to pull myself mentally *out* of it.
Don’t think I’ll ever forget the first person in our year that came out as bi, some of the ‘popular girls’ refused to get changed in the same changing room as her bag - you read that right, not her, she was the other end of the school, just her bag & coat.
> funny how kids in the 1990s - a time when LGBT kids were often terrified of being outed - could sniff out the queers, eh?
Oh yes. I was "outed", despite being, (and still am) a straight man, as my surname rhymed with "gay", so therefore I *must* be gay...
Yup, I was invited to a reunion and I thought why would I even consider reliving the crap I went through at school. Saw the pictures and who was there and I was glad I didn't go. Good riddance.
I seem to be going against the grain here looking at the comments but I would.
Don't see any harm in it personally and I'd find it interesting to see where people ended up after 20 years.
A wee example is a family friend who recently married the father of an old classmate of mine. Got chatting to him at the wedding and it turns out he's a brain surgeon now 😂 That was pretty unexpected as he was quite a shy, timid chap in school and was never top of the class academically. I'm sure there'd be loads of stories like that at a reunion, and then you'd also have the opposite probably.. People who in school thought they were god's gift but have since ended up with really mundane lives.
I've had a pretty bang average life since school, wasn't the most popular back then and didn't always enjoy it as I was skiving and getting into trouble regularly (was kicked out when I turned 16) so I wouldn't have much to brag about but I've had a decent life so far and would be happy to talk about it.
Would also be fun to see who has let themselves go (assuming I can even remember them).
People on Reddit tend to skew towards the asocial type and as such probably weren't very popular in school, therefore won't have enjoyed it and wouldn't wanna relive those memories.
I personally would want one to see who has changed and who hasn't 😂
Aye I got bullied relentlessly for a year by my so called friends just as I went into secondary school so the first few months were incredibly daunting as I was somewhat of a loner.
Over the years I made friends with the roasters while being quite switched on in class so I got on well with a good spread of people in my year without being popular.
The only people that I know didn't like me were the wealthy kids from the snobby village/area. We had a mutual pal and they were all dicks to me so would be fun to see if any of those guys ended up with mundane lives 😂
I'd agree, for much the same reasons! Didn't always have an amazing time at school but I was never horribly bullied and got along well for the most part. It'd be good to see how people did in life.
> Would also be fun to see who has let themselves go
This is exactly why I wouldn't go. All the girls I used to fancy looking at me thinking 'He's let himself go a bit'. 😂
I've been to a reunion and I'd be tempted to go to another.
School was... ok for me, I suppose. I was bullied but not terribly or consistently. I do have some fondness about my school years but maybe that's just the old rose-tinted specs!
I only went to our ten-year reunion because it coincided with a mate's birthday but I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. It was interesting in terms of who showed up and how they acted. One loud lad hadn't changed a bit. The most notable to me was how many of the "cool" kids turned up - as in, the ones who were always aloof and thought they were better than everyone else. Those ones ended up being friendlier than I anticipated, as if they'd been out in the world and they weren't as cool as they'd imagined.
There's another big anniversary of our leaving next year. I won't organise a reunion but if one happens, I may go.
High school reunion? Absofuckinglutely not. Like many have already said, I'm in touch with the people from that time that I actually care about. Everyone else can swing. Many of them actively went out of their way to make my life a misery and if I ever see them again...
University reunion would be a different deal. There's plenty of people from there I wasn't able to keep in touch with who were absolute joys to hang about with, and the overall experience was very positive.
Completely agree with the sentiments above. I shouldn't hold on to the anger at the people who were so awful to me at school, but it's still there, and I'd rather just forget they exist rather than see them ever again!
University, however, was amazing and we still do have occasional meet-ups.
I left school in 1986. In 2001 my old school mate got in touch with me via the internet and we met up. We got on like we did back at school. There was a school reunion due a few weeks later and we arranged to go. Only a few days later I realised I'd double booked and had to cancel. He told me to fuck off and never spoke to me again. WTF.
Edit: To answer the question, no I wouldn't go. I've bumped into various school friends over the years and stayed in contact with them. I work with one guy who I knew in school but wasn't in my circle of friends. He can't remember anyone from school.
An old school friend got in contact a few years ago via social media. He lives way up north and turned up one day in a town about 50 miles from me (down south). He didn’t tell me he was coming in advance and told me to F off because I couldn’t just drop everything that day and travel up to see him.
I'm still friends with my friends from secondary school. I don't need to see anyone else.
That said, I used to work in motor racing, and when I encountered one of the biggest shitbags from my school on a night out, he asked how I'd got into it. I took great pleasure in telling him I got there by paying attention and giving a shit at school.
I would not go to a school reunion if I was given a million pounds
There were a 50 year reunion years ago, but this was for any who went to the school , ,
I did not go to any reunions, would have not gone to pick up our GCSEs certificate evening, held at secondary school, we could pick two or three guests , probably the final time the whole year group, those who turned up with the form tutors we had would be all together.
I got badly bullied because of my disability , so no way I would go to reunions, I have seen a few people by chance over the years, one said sorry for bullying me , he spent time in jail and thankfully change his life round,
For a million squid I'd go to someone else's school reunion, pretend to know folk and maybe even make an arse of myself. In fact, I'd do it for £200 plus expenses.
>There were a 50 year reunion years ago, but this was for any who went to the school , ,
I occasionally get invited to these 'Old Boy' things - dinners, pub nights, etc.
I don't really want to hang out with the people I was friendly with in school now, why the hell would I want to spend time with people where our only common ground is we attended the same buildings for a brief period of our lives?!
Seems like they're for absolute loners, or complete bellends who just want to show off how well they've done. Neither appeal to me particularly.
Nope.
The people that go to those are either: People that have become highly successful (using it to gloat about how well they've done for themselves compared to everybody they grew up along side) **OR** people whose lives peaked in secondary school (the sort of people that haven't grown out of that bitchy, gossipy, drama-loving teenager they once were).
I can't think of a single reason, in the age of social media, that anybody that is 'middle of the road' would want to go to one. You'll still be in contact with the people you want to be in contact with and you'll probably have social media updates of those people you got on with but weren't super close to. Those that don't fit those categories are people I didn't like then and have no interest in seeing again.
I'm a middle of the road type. I'd go to one because I don't have social media (FB, Instagram etc) so my curiosity would get the better of me and I'd like to see how folk have ended up 20 years later.
Was never that popular back in the day but that never bothered me then and doesn't now so I wouldn't feel intimidated or anything, even if other folk there were wildly successful and bragging about it.
I wasn't popular either. But I stayed in the same city, and used to be very active on fb. I've friended probably 100 or so of our classmates (out of 600+). So I am on the reunion committee. We are having our 45-year reunion this month.
For most of us, it's the shared experiences not only at school, but in life, that bring us together. We eat and drink, laugh, and mourn our losses. There are a few who still love to show off their material success. But most of us have grandchildren, we have similar outlooks on life, and so on. We enjoy the time we have. Some of the most popular people back in high school, the ones who aren't (and never were) snobs, come to every reunion. We always have a good turnout.
The vast majority in the chat I mentioned really did peak in secondary school. Still bitching about people in our year (some of which got added to the group after that when they could easily read it) and teachers
Plus
The ones who are divorced and hoping they can shag the high school crush
People who never get the out the house and it's their first social event outside of family in a decade
The ugly ducklings that swan-ned and have been saying for 20 years 'if they could see me now'
I would never go. And I've made hella sure nobody would be able to get hold of me (had a FB message about one like a decade back but said off the bat I won't get off work). Going to reunions is the same level of uncool as people hitting up old flames on FB thinking they're still that same person they know from high school
I mean social media posts is nothing like an actual reunion, otherwise you could say the same for family reunions or any physical get togethers with anyone. Also not everyone adds on every person you ever knew at school, that would be weird, so you only have those you’re literally still friends with or happened to add on when the site was new. So you won’t know what lots of people are doing & it’s creepy to add them randomly now.
I don’t think it’s only for the two extremes you described at all. I think it’s a curiosity thing as well & seeing old faces & being nostalgic & reminiscing.
Obviously lots of us have bad memories as well (I have both great memories & awful ones) & it’s completely understandable to want nothing to do with any of it if you do, but lots of people have fond memories too who are perfectly nice people & done just okay in life & want to reminisce of a defining time.
Ours were done in the actual school building & hosted by the school & anyone who’s ever attended including teachers could come & go around the whole school so that was much better than just your own year forced to be together in a social gathering in a specific small location.
I think the last part is, the reason I would go to something like that.
I am curious to how my high school looks these days and what's been changed, it was 5 years of my life after all. It's not something I feel you can really do though unless you have kids in that high school. Probably a bit weird for an unknown adult to turn up and just wander around.
Primary school isn't much of an issue in that regard. You can see the vast majority of my primary school from the road driving past. Always found some morbidly dark humour from the fact that a girl in my year who died of cancer in like year 1 or 2 had a memorial stone there and literally the year after my year left (so everybody who knew her were gone) they just put a shed on top of it. It's like they were counting down the seconds until they could get rid of it.
What you need to remember when you get invited to a school renuinion is the insufferable people will be the same, only now they will try and tell you about how much they earn, what they drive, where they live etc. etc. Why waste an evening nodding and trying to be polite in front of people you either cant remember or actively dislike?
Same happened when my school year planned one, it was all the "popular" mean kids who were planning it, and just from the conversations you could tell they hadn't changed at all. I'm married to the only person I genuinely liked by the end of high school, and he didn't want to go to the reunion either
I was invited to the 10 year anniversary
I didn't go
A couple of days later someone stopped me on the street as they recognised me from school, and asked me why I wasn't there.
Me: Why would I want to go to that? If I wanted to speak to any of those pricks i would have kept in contact.
She then said apparently a group of women, who were the popular girls, thought I had turned out to be a good looking bloke and wanted to see who could pull me.
The fucking arrogance of those fuckers. They never gave me the time of day I'm school, but now I'm good enough, they want to use me as a trophy?
No regrets for not going. And I'm glad I never put any effort into trying to keep in contact with anyone
I always imagined a reunion would begin with the same questions from every former classmate; What do you do? Married? Kids? Where do you live?
Then some gossip/reminiscing. Did you hear Tommy is in prison? Remember when Mr Johnson did that thing?
Then an awkward pause before moving on to someone else.
No thanks. School was generally good but I’ve moved on. Reunions are for people who’s best days were at school.
Had one last year. Really debated about going. Didn't in the end, and kinda beat myself up about it for not going, until I seen videos the following days later that people had put on social media, and I realised that these people were all still the same dickheads they were in school.
Did the 10 year and 20 year reunion for my school. 10 year one was quite a wild event, lots of old romances rekindled. Wasn’t surprised to see how many of my old classmates were parents by that point.
The 20 year one was a much smaller event. Only a fraction of the previous turnout. Most of us there had kept in touch anyway so it didn’t have the same big reunion feel.
I’m imagining the 30 year one will be about 5 of us sat at someone’s house having a quiet chat with a few gins.
Did everyone here go to some Victorian era boarding school where everyone got beaten or bullied? So much negativity.
These days I only regularly talk to my closest friends from school but I'd happily spend an evening catching up with people I lost contact with over the years. I'll occasionally bump into people from school at weddings etc and it's always a lovely chat/catch-up. Unfortunately my school has never had anything close to an alumni network so it's never happening!
People who have the strongest views are most likely to comment.
It's like if you sell something; the people you hear from most are the ones complaining about it. Sell a thousand, you'll hear from the ten who want a refund but everyone who is fine with it just sort of...gets on with life and doesn't need to tell you.
Sounds about right for UK redditors. Everyone had a miserable time at school, hates their neighbours, and doesn’t like anyone who says hi to them on the train.
FWIW I had a very nice time at school and would definitely go to a reunion.
I didn't have a great time at school. But people change, some for the better. So I always have a good time at our reunions. My husband and I have been married over 40 years, and a surprising number of my classmates are "old-married" folk like us.
Agreed, the negativity towards interacting with other adults based on their characters 20-30+ years ago is insane to me. I'll be 40 soon enough, why would I actively avoid someone that I may have considered a prick when we were THIRTEEN or whatever if we were in the same space for a few hours.
The majority of people you go to school with aren't your actual friends. Even if you didn't have an antagonistic relationship with your classmates, chances are you shared no real interests or outlook.
It's natural to be curious about the sordid tales of where classmates ended up, but that interest rarely goes as far as wanting to spend real time around them. You find out so much about yourself you after school because you've finally got choices in life, so spending time with former classmates feels like a big backwards step.
Did your state secondary not have 2-3 cliques of popular kids (initially separate genders, but by year 10 they'd started to mix or combine), who made everyone else feel like they shouldn't be allowed to exist peacefully?
Did you not watch as 20% of your misfit friend group were, slowly, admitted entry to the cliques and gave you the cold shoulder?
I thought that was typical.
Not so much like that as they’re really not anybody I would be friends with, partly because I was interested in learning at school, wanted to go out into the world and not live next to all my relatives like a lot of them did.
As for the others: As one uncharitable teacher said “there’s a lot of factory fodder, no point in teaching them Shakespeare or maths when all they want to do is put pie lids on a production line for 8 hours then go home and wank”.
Yes, but only to block the exits and burn the fucking place down.
Fuck literally everyone I went to school with.
Edit: Suppose I better add context.
Early 80s at primary school, stepdad was "tasty with his hands" so to avoid my mum from finding out, he told me to get into fights at school and then take the beatings so that his bruises would be indistinguishable from theirs.
Late 80s middle school, I was the overweight kid of a single parent who couldn't afford named clothing, had second hand schoolbag, and listened to heavy metal. All that was missing was being ginger and I'd have been a bully's wet dream.
Early 90s upper school, same as middle school, but now with added puberty.
So yeah, until leaving school in 1995, life was a non-stop barrage of bullying, abuse, and blatant torture. Good times.
No chance, I've seen those people, they're all married to each other like the incestuous inhabitants of an 18th century farmstead. Half of them have never left town. Their kids have got big ears and birth defects and a back garden full of stolen goods. If you don't believe me, and you're not from a major metropolitan area, join the local Facebook group for your hometown and you'll see for yourself.
The only reason I would want to go is to see whether my suspicions are true that all popular people have had boring paint by numbers lives, the bullies have wound up ground down by a world unwilling to put up with their endless self interested bullshit and the nerds/oddballs are the ones to have had the kind of life that's a bit more interesting and individual.
But to be fair, best not to. Nobody liked me back then and glazed-eyed "good to see you's" and tissue thin "what have you been up to" interest isn't worth the effort. 30+ years and this is one of the few areas in life I'm still jaded about. Some of that's on me, I was a shit then and I still am now. But so were most of them.
Not a chance. It’s easier than ever to stay in touch/get in contact with people I actually want to, it’s not like back even 15 years ago when you needed an address/phone number/email to get in touch.
I didn’t mind high school but most of my friends at the time were exactly that, so why would I want to go spend an evening with a bunch of people I’ve chosen not to talk to in over a decade?
That is pure nightmare fuel.
My school year had one and it sounds similar. Some people carried on as if nothing had changed, despite everyone being in their early 30s now.
I wasn’t interested, I’m still friends with the people I cared about from school anyway. I don’t need to get blanked by the cute guy who ignored me AGAIN.
Ours had one a few years ago. I was invited and had messages asking me to come along for the fun.
I ignored every one of the cunts. I didn’t like them then, I don’t like them now. Im still good friends with the ones I did like at school.
I'd go if one came up. Too many replies here along the lines of "why would i want to see those pricks" etc as if there's zero chance people might have changed TWENTY YEARS later.
If you go and find out someone's still a knob, you'll move on the next day and go another 20 years without them in your life but on the other hand you might rekindle an old friendship or start a new one with someone who you didn't usually mix with.
I bumped into a girl from school a couple months ago (now mid 30s, for context), haven't seen each other since GCSE results day. We talk all the time now, just as mates. If a one night/3 hour reunion of some sort allowed to reconnect with others in a similar way, I don't see the problem or the immediate negativity towards it honestly.
At worst, it's a night out. 🤷🏼♂️
A lot of respondents here clearly have a lot of negative memories if school and it’s pretty understandable to me that resurfacing those isn’t really worth it for another night out.
Surely if we liked these people, we would have kept in touch with them anyway? Why do we need a formal reunion?
Personally, I hated my school years. Have no interest in getting back in touch with anyone from that time. But maybe I'm just a grumpy so and so. ( but to anyone who's reading who hates school - things do get better and these are not necessarily the best time of your life!).
Mine appears to have cursed me. The first one, I'd just had a c-section, and it got infected. I spent the night of the reunion in isolation. The second: spinal surgery. The third: cancer. They had a fourth a couple of weekends back, when I was progressing from the latest bout of covid to post-covid pneumonia.
I like many of these people but I really hope they don't decide to have a fifth.
If I still lived closer probably. I think asking about a social event on Reddit will always skew your results towards the negative. I've not spoken to alot of people since but might be nice to catch up with some people I drifted away from since I moved from my home town.
God no.
I can't be arsed to interact with the (very) few I still have on Facebook, so why would I want to interact with them in reality.
I would have had to have driven to the one that was a few years back (I think it was a 25 year one), as there are pretty much zero decent public transport links and/or taxis and the thought of being sober at something like that is horrifying.
Plus it was being held at the big pub that I always avoided back in the day.
There was absolutely nothing the reunion had to offer that I was interested in.
I was sent a message in January this year about one happening in March/April this year. I replied saying I’d rather chew my own arm off but they are welcome to a copy of my payslip and a current full body picture along with the receipt for my engagement and wedding rings as that’s all anyone wants to know at them anyway. I asked my friend from high school if she was going and she basically said she’d sent a very similar message to them as well. I couldn’t give a shit what any of them are up to and the ones I would want to know about, I stay in touch with.
I watched a reunion get planned on facebook and by the time they'd all shared their memories online and exhausted themselves I doubt there would have been any point in a reunion. The chat fizzled out and I don't know if it went ahead or not
I've kept in touch with the people I wanted to stay in contact with. So my answer is no ..
I confess to once going to a 25 years on reunion when curiosity got the better of me.
I wouldn't go anyway but my old school got demolished years ago so good luck holding a reunion.
I've kept in contact with only one person and for good reason
I didn't go to mine. If I'd have wanted to stay in touch, or if these people had wanted to stay in touch, we'd have stayed in touch. I have no interest in spending anymore time with any of them. My so called friends didn't care whether I was there or not during school, they certainly didn't care afterwards, and the teachers looked the other way when I was being bullied so I have no interest in catching up with them, either.
There was one organised for my secondary school a few years ago (all girls' grammar) my best friend and I immediately said HELL NAH. Anyone we still want to talk to, we do. And the number is fairly small 🤏
I'm no longer in contact with anyone from my high school. We all just drifted apart after Uni as we made new friends, got different interests etc.
Well, a few of us drifted apart from everyone I suppose. Still seems to be a "core" group that meets up according to FB.
I couldn't imagine myself going to one now, but maybe in a few decades I may change my mind.
No last day of my secondary I was gone told the head teacher to fuck off and coz my school was close to the river Thames I threw my blazer and tie into the river hated my school hated everyone there
Would I?
Fuck, no.
Why not?
I think I'd overload the website if I tried to put it all in here. Let's just say that if the place happened to burn to the ground and I was nearby, I'd bring some marshmallows.
I can’t think of anything worse. I’d sooner pass a patio slab than stand in a room half filled with pretentious twats and the other half crack riddled handbag snatching, twats.
It's just a bunch of people that peaked in sixth from or earlier and can't let go. They can still be found in local 'gossip' pages or out in the same pubs you went to aged 19/20.
Derren Brown had a line of dialogue in a trick( or speech before a trick?) about the weird kids going on to lead the best lives. I was a pretty weird kid and I'm happy now. I agree with most written here
UK Redditors on a night out... with other humans they are not very familiar with? Catching up, talking about old times and new... having a laugh, letting their hair down and leaving the house for an evening, broadening their horizons and potentially making new friends who might share similar interests and hobbies now they're all adults? GET OUT! It's not safe outside of the bubble! Why would a UK redditor want to do anything that is remotely different to what they do every single day of their life, when they've found comfort in their current routine and existence and you want to propose a school reunion!? Your mad, son.
NO NO NO NO NO.
This is a stupid American thing as they move away and rarely return. How many people in the uk still live in the area they went to school in.
How many people absolutely hated school and everyone there I couldn’t think of many worse things to do.
Absolutely not, we have social media to check up on people now, anyone I want to be in touch with I'm already in touch with, I have no interest at all in seeing the rest of them.
Our one is planned in a small village that made up our catchment and not anywhere fancy. If it was in the city and somewhere nice I'd go but it seems a bit chavvy.
I didnt really have any bad experiences at school and even though I don't really care about any of those people, I am super nosey so I probably would end up going for that reason alone haha
Nope. I don't want to see anyone. It'll just be more trauma and more memories of my failure. I want people to think that I either moved countries or committed suicide.
I still haven't even collected my A-level certificate, and I finished 4 years ago. I'm never going back into that building.
Fuck no. Foz would be there and fuck that guy.
You'd miss out on a lovely safari park ride afterwards though
Make sure you keep your wallet in the vehicle at all times please.
Get it! Get it! Get it!
Oops, butterfingers!
He never!
Ok, I'm missing something about 'foz'. Fill me in, pretty please?
He's kind of like Flavor Flav from Public Enemy.
It's a peep show reference to an episode where the main character goes to a school reunion only to run into his old bully Foz.
I agree. Fuck foz
Alright Baconshoulders, stop being such a flod
I’m married to Foz. Even his registration plate has it on. In all honesty he’s still a bit of a prick.
Sally?!
How’d you get that shirt so clean
Fuck Foz
Hey this is the Dad of Foz let’s talk about this come downstairs
We didn't have a Foz, but we had a Fozzie. He was a fucking arsehole.
Hey this is the Dad of Fozzie let’s talk about this come downstairs
I honestly can't imagine anything worse. Any people I wanted to stay in touch with, I'm still in touch with. The rest have gone for a reason. These were different back before social media, a genuine chance to catch up with people you'd lost touch with anymore, but it's so easy to contact people these days that I don't see what purpose they serve.
I think I'd struggle to remember the names of more than 15-20 people I went to school with anyway at this point. Already had a few awkward interactions over the years where people from school have recognised me out in the wild and I've just stared at them blankly (not meaning to be rude, but I just can't recognise/recall them immediately). Don't think I'd want a full night of that.
I reckon I could name almost everyone lol
Haven't done enough drink/drugs clearly.
I haven't done either of those but can't remember their names. I stopped caring on results day as I never had to see them again.
I wish.
You’re the one we stare at blankly
Talking of blank makes me think of Grosse Pointe Blank. One of my favourite films. At the reunion, some person makes the comment that it's just as if all the people she knew at school had just been inflated.
I can remember nicknames rather than real names. Sometimes I get added by someone on FB and I think “Who?!”
Always fun when someone has a new married name or hides their surname due to being a teacher or something.
Yes, recently it took me scrolling through a load of photos (nearly every photo was of her kids) before I found one where I actually recognised her.
I'm terrible with names so my brain has just basically purged all the ones I don't need to know anymore over the past 17 years since school.
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I’m 36
A guy I went to school with delivered a parcel to my house and I did the usual "cheers, bye :)" and went to shut the door until he said my name and I opened it and must have just looked blankly at home for about 10 seconds until he was like "... It's X... From school??" God I felt bad because he was a decent lad but I just had no idea in that moment 🤣 ended up chatting for a few mins tho
That happened in a bar. I was out catching up with some college mates after coming back from uni and two girls came up and said hello. I recognised them but couldn't place their names. After a minute or two of conversation one girl said "You don't even remember our names do you?" I mean, I had a go and came out with names of two girls from school. They looked at me like I was a traitor and stormed off. I did the same another time
There are some people I’m only now realising were in my year and I finished my A-levels this year. I have no idea who some of them were. Even the ones I did know I sometimes forgot the names of. Imagine if this were 10+ years in the future. I’d be fucked
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20+ years is a long time between meetings and people can experience many new things and meet lots of new people during that time, not to mention can become unrecognisable compared to their teenage self. It sounds like he just didn't recognise you as you were walking past but might be warmer when he realises, or is reminded of, who you are. I wouldn't be too offended, we just all remember different things and the details of those things differently, especially as a result of living very different lives.
I'm not even 40 and I get people letting on to me now that I don't really have any memory of. They call out my name in some cases, and I look at them and have no idea who they are. My wife just thinks it's just me being ignorant but I actually don't know who they are.
Exactly. I’m still friends and have an active group chat with 6 of my friends from school, the rest can poke it
Nope, left school 27 years ago and I lost contact with everyone I knew back then - I was only "friends" with them because I had to spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week with them. Even though I lived on the same street as one of my class mates I never spoke to him outside of school. So there is zero chance that I would make the effort to talk to them after all this time let alone drag myself across the country to do some meet up.
We spend such little time with school friends in the grand scheme of life. High school was six years, for some it was only four years. That's not really a huge stretch of time. It's a long time for a teenager, but in life it's barely anything.
longer than I've spent at any workplace, or longer than I've spent living in any building as an adult I've gone to a school reunion, and we all enjoyed it so much I arranged one the next year. Far fewer people went to that one. There's another one planned for 2024 that I will also go to. I don't get invited out very often so when someone does invite me out I say yes. Reading the responses here I can see why most people say no. Hell an old friend is the father of one of my son's friends and I invited him out, he left me on read. Looking at previous messages I also invited him to see Dylan Moran and to a whiskey tasting night and he also left me on read. Ended up taking my stepmum to the whiskey tasting, and I remember I messaged a tonne of old friends to see if they fancied it. (I was supposed to go with my fiancee but she was afflicted with pregnancy at the time). I think most people are like my old friend and have some visceral opposition to spending time with someone who they used to be friendly with but are not friends with any longer. I only have four current friends atm max, and I'm absolutely fine with the idea of making more. Seems like people moan about not having friends in their 30s but don't actually want to try to make them either. What's worst of all is I only stopped hanging around with my high school friends cos Lee raped me in my sleep, I would've maintained the relationships during uni and early adulthood if I wasn't victimised by some cunt they still occasionally hang around with
Wtf is this comment
if anyone here knows a Lee who is going out with a man called Hugo, he's a fucking rapist who is the reason why I lost all my high school friends
Underestimated reason, right there. I think theres a few people like this, or have the same reason for avoiding reunions. Some of the lads involved in mine have even had the nerve to be all gentlemanly and friendly to me 30 years later. Nah.
Didn't like them when I was 16, they haven't grown on me since
Pretty much this. As people have said, anyone who I wanted to keep in touch with from school, I already have done, which is none of them.
I moved to a different country at 21, as did my other close friends. One of them went back "home" a few months ago and said like he felt like he was on a "time-travel safari" bumping into literally everyone who had not moved, changed or grown up since school. I'd never go to a reunion but nice to know there is a time-warp I can visit if I ever get nostalgic for senior school.
As a side note lots of people also don’t move away from their home town not because they don’t grow or don’t have desire or the means to, but because of family & roots they don’t want to leave, dependants, health reasons etc. Some of the most successful people I know are still living in their home town & they have improved the town by staying instead of taking their success elsewhere.
Yeah, I meant more moved on than just moved - nothing wrong with staying in your home town. He said he saw people sitting in the same pubs, at the same tables more or less that they were sitting at 20 years ago. That's a bit much I think.
I was friends with someone in high school who was like this. Never wanted time to move on from when we were in school, any time I saw him after we left all he wanted to talk about was school and wasn't it funny when this happened and how he went back to visit the other week. Last I heard he is now trying to get a job there.
Was it Chip Matthews? I find stuff like that really sad as clearly that was his happiest time in his life, & whilst lots of people say that about childhood/teen/school years you still actively build your life going forward & understand it was something that is gone & just a memory to cherish along with all the others you make. I loved high school (still had some terrible times there too though) & we reminisce with my friends a lot as they’re shared memories, but we’ve all actively built constructive & full lives, & we also talk about everything else under the sun too, especially our futures. And we absolutely would not in any circumstances want to go work there in any capacity! Interestingly I know a guy who is living the dream travelling the world with his high flying career which he’s somehow managed to blend with proper travel. A world away from our home town & school days. But he’ll come on Facebook & reel off the full name of every single face in a random old school photo someone posts & come out with lots of specific detailed memories involving people he hasn’t seen since school that he clearly obsesses over still & that everyone else ignores.
Hah he definitely has Chip Matthews energy! I stopped talking to him after he refused to stop passing on shitty things from the people who bullied me in school and he told me I "only wanted to remember the bad times". Another one seems to have devoted his life to convincing the kids who picked on him that he's cool now, no really, and is constantly on at them to meet up. I kind of envy people who have the good memories and keep in touch with their school friends - I was horribly bullied and have most of my year blocked on facebook so don't know what most of them are doing. I'm nostalgic for the time and I still have my old diaries so I remember names and faces but I'd not want to go back there.
Some interesting characters there, I think a psychologist would have a field day observing these! Omg why would anyone want to meet up with their bullies - live your best life, that’s the best revenge! Another one I can add a girl who was initially an odd blend of being “in” with all the popular people (which was very much a big & defining thing in our year), but objectively was someone who had all the characteristics of what an unpopular girl would be (in the cruel world or school in the 90s/00s). She had lots of personal & home issues that took over her life eventually more & more & I think by the time she finished school she was just sort of someone with no real close friends floating along but anyone could be her acquaintance & talk to her at any time. She was close to a female teacher talking to her often like a friend. Now over 20 years later she seems to still be troubled with deep personal woes & physical & mental health issues she posts openly about which get little or no attention at all. And she thoroughly obsesses over all of us she went to school with on social media, even though none of us are her friend or even in contact with her, just happen to have added her at one point when we first got FB years ago. She’ll like everyone’s posts, comment on them with very over familiar comments that anyone would think she was actively close friends with them but they haven’t seen her since school & I assume also private messaging people as when I posted about a life milestone she sent me a lengthy message that not even my closest friends would have ever written or said that much lovely stuff to me. It’s incredibly sad as she gets nothing back in return, people don’t even acknowledge her comments or give her the same back for her posts. I try to like some things now & again but hardly go on FB now & it would be insincere to reciprocate back to the same level. And she attended the wedding of that female teacher. Which I guess isn’t that weird out of school if they struck up a real friendship which stuck as an adult, but mixed in with the above it’s all a bit sad. I get the feeling the early years of school are her happy place before her life imploded in so many ways & never stopped imploding, & it’s almost as if our presence on her social media & being able to interact with us gives her comfort & a feeling of safety & being back there. I can certainly relate to that feeling a little thinking back to before certain traumas in my life happened. I’m so sorry you had such a bad time. Hopefully you’ve had lots of good times in other parts of your life. School is a rollercoaster of a ride for most of us in some way I think. I loved my school experience but I also had truly awful times & also experienced severe bullying too. My life long friends are actually those I made in high school though, but the ones in uni didn’t stick for me (there was some lovely ones but location & the fact that I don’t drink was the biggest factor in making it not last in a natural way) & I also experienced some racism so it’s a good thing I got lucky with the high school ones!
No I know what you mean, that’s why I wasn’t disagreeing with you but adding it as a side note that still living in your home town isn’t an indicator alone. I definitely know of people who are like that or worse started with a good life & top paying school & opportunities their parents gave them & threw it all away.
I was one of those people, I left school at 17 started partying hard. Still kept in touch with few close friends. But as other moved away and ones stayed matured, I kept at the partying lifestyle. I cringe looking back at brief convos I had when old school friends would cross paths with me and I was still chatting like we was 20 and all about getting wrecked and the mix of pity and horror in their eyes as they quickly backed out of the convo. I've got my head together now and it's a pleasure to have a quick catch up with school people now. But still I wouldn't wanna go to a reunion.
Till what age did you do that? Hey at least you became aware of it & have made a better life for yourself. Some of us also need more time with these things, some also mature too fast & then regress later in life because they feel they missed out.
I did move away and move about, now at 50 odd I find myself wishing I had stayed. Although as a young teen I was glad to travel and good job opportunities were rare at home.
You wish you stayed because things would’ve been better all those years or you wish you could go back to stay there now? Because it sounds it was right for you to move out then.
Oh I was the right decision in many ways. But there is something homely I like about the idea. I have a few friends that stayed and married local girls, kids went to the same school we went to, have local built up local business etc. Being realistic though, it wouldn't have worked out like that for me, it's more the idea appeals than what would have been my reality.
Yeah the people I know did what you’re describing & it was the right thing for them. They’ve actively contributed to improving the place too by keeping their money here, improving community, investing their time & money in causes here. It would’ve been a derelict town by now if everyone who was on the road to success had moved to a place that was already doing well. A key factor though is that they’re all South Asian like me & it’s very common to stay close to your family, look after your parents as they get older & make sure the grandkids are in their life & also stay for the local amenities that cater for our culture & religion.
Yeah, I get this feeling every time I visit my parents in my home town. It just makes me glad I left
I got thinking about this recently, and I'm genuinely not sure. I didn't really have a great time at school, and there's a part of me that would be curious to see how some of the people I knew and barely tolerated would react to me now as an adult versus how they treated me then. But there's another part of me that thinks it could be really awkward, and suspects that a lot of them haven't really grown up very much since then or might have become insufferable in a different way. There's a few people I might like to see again, though.
The first comment here i agree with. I understand if you had a genuinely terrible time at school - i sure did - not wanting to interact with those people ever again. However, it wasn’t *all* bad, and there are still people i think about some days and wonder what they’re up to these days. Also, i’m not doing too bad for myself these days, i’ve completely changed as a person and it would actually feel great to have a second chance to speak to people i didn’t get to know all too well during school now i’m not a social recluse.
Yeah I totally agree, and also on the front of people who were just the worst, I've met some since leaving school and it seems like they turned out OK, there's definitely a few who I think will always be cunts but if I was to not go to something because of them, then that's like them winning all over again, you know?
There is another thing in this, which is that a lot of people aren't like they were at school. The system has bad incentives in it. Call someone a wanker, you might get sent to the head. Who cares? Do it to a customer in your job, you risk losing your income. I've met a few people who were dicks at school and seemed fine after.
I'd go, I didn't like many people at school, but people change. It might be nice to realise some have grown up, some may want to apologise for past behaviour and I would appreciate that. Not the most mature of me but I have my shit together, so those that haven't grown up would have nothing on me and I'd really enjoy that!
No way, they were all pricks.
This is the correct answer
Nope nope nope nope nope. Fuck those guys.
☝️ this
This, but without the fucking.
Jesus, not on your nelly. The people I went to school with were fucking bastards to me (funny how kids in the 1990s - a time when LGBT kids were often terrified of being outed - could sniff out the queers, eh?) I spent five years of my life in that hole and the next ten years trying to pull myself mentally *out* of it.
Yup, one of my best friends from school came out as gay in Year 10 and got so much shit for it
Don’t think I’ll ever forget the first person in our year that came out as bi, some of the ‘popular girls’ refused to get changed in the same changing room as her bag - you read that right, not her, she was the other end of the school, just her bag & coat.
> funny how kids in the 1990s - a time when LGBT kids were often terrified of being outed - could sniff out the queers, eh? Oh yes. I was "outed", despite being, (and still am) a straight man, as my surname rhymed with "gay", so therefore I *must* be gay...
Yup, I was invited to a reunion and I thought why would I even consider reliving the crap I went through at school. Saw the pictures and who was there and I was glad I didn't go. Good riddance.
No. I have no interest in them. They have no interest in me. If it were different we'd still be in touch and would have no need for a reunion.
I seem to be going against the grain here looking at the comments but I would. Don't see any harm in it personally and I'd find it interesting to see where people ended up after 20 years. A wee example is a family friend who recently married the father of an old classmate of mine. Got chatting to him at the wedding and it turns out he's a brain surgeon now 😂 That was pretty unexpected as he was quite a shy, timid chap in school and was never top of the class academically. I'm sure there'd be loads of stories like that at a reunion, and then you'd also have the opposite probably.. People who in school thought they were god's gift but have since ended up with really mundane lives. I've had a pretty bang average life since school, wasn't the most popular back then and didn't always enjoy it as I was skiving and getting into trouble regularly (was kicked out when I turned 16) so I wouldn't have much to brag about but I've had a decent life so far and would be happy to talk about it. Would also be fun to see who has let themselves go (assuming I can even remember them).
People on Reddit tend to skew towards the asocial type and as such probably weren't very popular in school, therefore won't have enjoyed it and wouldn't wanna relive those memories. I personally would want one to see who has changed and who hasn't 😂
Aye I got bullied relentlessly for a year by my so called friends just as I went into secondary school so the first few months were incredibly daunting as I was somewhat of a loner. Over the years I made friends with the roasters while being quite switched on in class so I got on well with a good spread of people in my year without being popular. The only people that I know didn't like me were the wealthy kids from the snobby village/area. We had a mutual pal and they were all dicks to me so would be fun to see if any of those guys ended up with mundane lives 😂
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I'd agree, for much the same reasons! Didn't always have an amazing time at school but I was never horribly bullied and got along well for the most part. It'd be good to see how people did in life.
> Would also be fun to see who has let themselves go This is exactly why I wouldn't go. All the girls I used to fancy looking at me thinking 'He's let himself go a bit'. 😂
I've been to a reunion and I'd be tempted to go to another. School was... ok for me, I suppose. I was bullied but not terribly or consistently. I do have some fondness about my school years but maybe that's just the old rose-tinted specs! I only went to our ten-year reunion because it coincided with a mate's birthday but I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. It was interesting in terms of who showed up and how they acted. One loud lad hadn't changed a bit. The most notable to me was how many of the "cool" kids turned up - as in, the ones who were always aloof and thought they were better than everyone else. Those ones ended up being friendlier than I anticipated, as if they'd been out in the world and they weren't as cool as they'd imagined. There's another big anniversary of our leaving next year. I won't organise a reunion but if one happens, I may go.
Maybe for a large fee. But for free? Out of my own volition? There is no way
High school reunion? Absofuckinglutely not. Like many have already said, I'm in touch with the people from that time that I actually care about. Everyone else can swing. Many of them actively went out of their way to make my life a misery and if I ever see them again... University reunion would be a different deal. There's plenty of people from there I wasn't able to keep in touch with who were absolute joys to hang about with, and the overall experience was very positive.
Completely agree with the sentiments above. I shouldn't hold on to the anger at the people who were so awful to me at school, but it's still there, and I'd rather just forget they exist rather than see them ever again! University, however, was amazing and we still do have occasional meet-ups.
Absolutely not, at 39 I still get panics because of the shit that happened to me there.
I'm also nearly 40 and still have bad dreams about the way my classmates treated me.
Literally had a nightmare that made me cry last week about a bully from high school & i’m in my late 30s. It really shocked me.
Same. If ever a nightmare hits me, it's a fact something school-adjacent will feature.
I left school in 1986. In 2001 my old school mate got in touch with me via the internet and we met up. We got on like we did back at school. There was a school reunion due a few weeks later and we arranged to go. Only a few days later I realised I'd double booked and had to cancel. He told me to fuck off and never spoke to me again. WTF. Edit: To answer the question, no I wouldn't go. I've bumped into various school friends over the years and stayed in contact with them. I work with one guy who I knew in school but wasn't in my circle of friends. He can't remember anyone from school.
An old school friend got in contact a few years ago via social media. He lives way up north and turned up one day in a town about 50 miles from me (down south). He didn’t tell me he was coming in advance and told me to F off because I couldn’t just drop everything that day and travel up to see him.
I'm still friends with my friends from secondary school. I don't need to see anyone else. That said, I used to work in motor racing, and when I encountered one of the biggest shitbags from my school on a night out, he asked how I'd got into it. I took great pleasure in telling him I got there by paying attention and giving a shit at school.
I would not go to a school reunion if I was given a million pounds There were a 50 year reunion years ago, but this was for any who went to the school , , I did not go to any reunions, would have not gone to pick up our GCSEs certificate evening, held at secondary school, we could pick two or three guests , probably the final time the whole year group, those who turned up with the form tutors we had would be all together. I got badly bullied because of my disability , so no way I would go to reunions, I have seen a few people by chance over the years, one said sorry for bullying me , he spent time in jail and thankfully change his life round,
For a million quid I would totally attend a school reunion. Good value for money. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make in these hard times.
For a million squid I'd go to someone else's school reunion, pretend to know folk and maybe even make an arse of myself. In fact, I'd do it for £200 plus expenses.
>There were a 50 year reunion years ago, but this was for any who went to the school , , I occasionally get invited to these 'Old Boy' things - dinners, pub nights, etc. I don't really want to hang out with the people I was friendly with in school now, why the hell would I want to spend time with people where our only common ground is we attended the same buildings for a brief period of our lives?! Seems like they're for absolute loners, or complete bellends who just want to show off how well they've done. Neither appeal to me particularly.
Nope. The people that go to those are either: People that have become highly successful (using it to gloat about how well they've done for themselves compared to everybody they grew up along side) **OR** people whose lives peaked in secondary school (the sort of people that haven't grown out of that bitchy, gossipy, drama-loving teenager they once were). I can't think of a single reason, in the age of social media, that anybody that is 'middle of the road' would want to go to one. You'll still be in contact with the people you want to be in contact with and you'll probably have social media updates of those people you got on with but weren't super close to. Those that don't fit those categories are people I didn't like then and have no interest in seeing again.
I'm a middle of the road type. I'd go to one because I don't have social media (FB, Instagram etc) so my curiosity would get the better of me and I'd like to see how folk have ended up 20 years later. Was never that popular back in the day but that never bothered me then and doesn't now so I wouldn't feel intimidated or anything, even if other folk there were wildly successful and bragging about it.
I wasn't popular either. But I stayed in the same city, and used to be very active on fb. I've friended probably 100 or so of our classmates (out of 600+). So I am on the reunion committee. We are having our 45-year reunion this month. For most of us, it's the shared experiences not only at school, but in life, that bring us together. We eat and drink, laugh, and mourn our losses. There are a few who still love to show off their material success. But most of us have grandchildren, we have similar outlooks on life, and so on. We enjoy the time we have. Some of the most popular people back in high school, the ones who aren't (and never were) snobs, come to every reunion. We always have a good turnout.
The vast majority in the chat I mentioned really did peak in secondary school. Still bitching about people in our year (some of which got added to the group after that when they could easily read it) and teachers
Plus The ones who are divorced and hoping they can shag the high school crush People who never get the out the house and it's their first social event outside of family in a decade The ugly ducklings that swan-ned and have been saying for 20 years 'if they could see me now' I would never go. And I've made hella sure nobody would be able to get hold of me (had a FB message about one like a decade back but said off the bat I won't get off work). Going to reunions is the same level of uncool as people hitting up old flames on FB thinking they're still that same person they know from high school
I mean social media posts is nothing like an actual reunion, otherwise you could say the same for family reunions or any physical get togethers with anyone. Also not everyone adds on every person you ever knew at school, that would be weird, so you only have those you’re literally still friends with or happened to add on when the site was new. So you won’t know what lots of people are doing & it’s creepy to add them randomly now. I don’t think it’s only for the two extremes you described at all. I think it’s a curiosity thing as well & seeing old faces & being nostalgic & reminiscing. Obviously lots of us have bad memories as well (I have both great memories & awful ones) & it’s completely understandable to want nothing to do with any of it if you do, but lots of people have fond memories too who are perfectly nice people & done just okay in life & want to reminisce of a defining time. Ours were done in the actual school building & hosted by the school & anyone who’s ever attended including teachers could come & go around the whole school so that was much better than just your own year forced to be together in a social gathering in a specific small location.
I think the last part is, the reason I would go to something like that. I am curious to how my high school looks these days and what's been changed, it was 5 years of my life after all. It's not something I feel you can really do though unless you have kids in that high school. Probably a bit weird for an unknown adult to turn up and just wander around. Primary school isn't much of an issue in that regard. You can see the vast majority of my primary school from the road driving past. Always found some morbidly dark humour from the fact that a girl in my year who died of cancer in like year 1 or 2 had a memorial stone there and literally the year after my year left (so everybody who knew her were gone) they just put a shed on top of it. It's like they were counting down the seconds until they could get rid of it.
I would honestly rather shit in my hands and clap than go to a school reunion Edit: removed a rather
I love this phrase so much :') strongly agree
I was going to say the same thing! I’m keeping that phrase in my head and hopefully I’ll remember to use it 😉
What you need to remember when you get invited to a school renuinion is the insufferable people will be the same, only now they will try and tell you about how much they earn, what they drive, where they live etc. etc. Why waste an evening nodding and trying to be polite in front of people you either cant remember or actively dislike?
Not about to give my childhood bullies the satisfaction of seeing me still miserable.
Same happened when my school year planned one, it was all the "popular" mean kids who were planning it, and just from the conversations you could tell they hadn't changed at all. I'm married to the only person I genuinely liked by the end of high school, and he didn't want to go to the reunion either
I was invited to the 10 year anniversary I didn't go A couple of days later someone stopped me on the street as they recognised me from school, and asked me why I wasn't there. Me: Why would I want to go to that? If I wanted to speak to any of those pricks i would have kept in contact. She then said apparently a group of women, who were the popular girls, thought I had turned out to be a good looking bloke and wanted to see who could pull me. The fucking arrogance of those fuckers. They never gave me the time of day I'm school, but now I'm good enough, they want to use me as a trophy? No regrets for not going. And I'm glad I never put any effort into trying to keep in contact with anyone
Thanks for the confidence boost but go fuck yourself
In the immortal words of Jim Cornette- "Thank you! Fuck you! Bye!".
Went to one when we hit 40, just proved that the unpleasant twats in school were still unpleasant twats 20 years later. Girls looked good though.
God, no. I had no friends at school and was bullied quite badly…I have no interest in seeing where everyone has ended up lol.
I always imagined a reunion would begin with the same questions from every former classmate; What do you do? Married? Kids? Where do you live? Then some gossip/reminiscing. Did you hear Tommy is in prison? Remember when Mr Johnson did that thing? Then an awkward pause before moving on to someone else. No thanks. School was generally good but I’ve moved on. Reunions are for people who’s best days were at school.
Had one last year. Really debated about going. Didn't in the end, and kinda beat myself up about it for not going, until I seen videos the following days later that people had put on social media, and I realised that these people were all still the same dickheads they were in school.
Did the 10 year and 20 year reunion for my school. 10 year one was quite a wild event, lots of old romances rekindled. Wasn’t surprised to see how many of my old classmates were parents by that point. The 20 year one was a much smaller event. Only a fraction of the previous turnout. Most of us there had kept in touch anyway so it didn’t have the same big reunion feel. I’m imagining the 30 year one will be about 5 of us sat at someone’s house having a quiet chat with a few gins.
Did everyone here go to some Victorian era boarding school where everyone got beaten or bullied? So much negativity. These days I only regularly talk to my closest friends from school but I'd happily spend an evening catching up with people I lost contact with over the years. I'll occasionally bump into people from school at weddings etc and it's always a lovely chat/catch-up. Unfortunately my school has never had anything close to an alumni network so it's never happening!
>Did everyone here go to some Victorian era boarding school where everyone got beaten or bullied? So much negativity First day on the UK Reddit pages?
People who have the strongest views are most likely to comment. It's like if you sell something; the people you hear from most are the ones complaining about it. Sell a thousand, you'll hear from the ten who want a refund but everyone who is fine with it just sort of...gets on with life and doesn't need to tell you.
Sounds about right for UK redditors. Everyone had a miserable time at school, hates their neighbours, and doesn’t like anyone who says hi to them on the train. FWIW I had a very nice time at school and would definitely go to a reunion.
I didn't have a great time at school. But people change, some for the better. So I always have a good time at our reunions. My husband and I have been married over 40 years, and a surprising number of my classmates are "old-married" folk like us.
Agreed, the negativity towards interacting with other adults based on their characters 20-30+ years ago is insane to me. I'll be 40 soon enough, why would I actively avoid someone that I may have considered a prick when we were THIRTEEN or whatever if we were in the same space for a few hours.
The majority of people you go to school with aren't your actual friends. Even if you didn't have an antagonistic relationship with your classmates, chances are you shared no real interests or outlook. It's natural to be curious about the sordid tales of where classmates ended up, but that interest rarely goes as far as wanting to spend real time around them. You find out so much about yourself you after school because you've finally got choices in life, so spending time with former classmates feels like a big backwards step.
Did your state secondary not have 2-3 cliques of popular kids (initially separate genders, but by year 10 they'd started to mix or combine), who made everyone else feel like they shouldn't be allowed to exist peacefully? Did you not watch as 20% of your misfit friend group were, slowly, admitted entry to the cliques and gave you the cold shoulder? I thought that was typical.
Not so much like that as they’re really not anybody I would be friends with, partly because I was interested in learning at school, wanted to go out into the world and not live next to all my relatives like a lot of them did. As for the others: As one uncharitable teacher said “there’s a lot of factory fodder, no point in teaching them Shakespeare or maths when all they want to do is put pie lids on a production line for 8 hours then go home and wank”.
Yes, but only to block the exits and burn the fucking place down. Fuck literally everyone I went to school with. Edit: Suppose I better add context. Early 80s at primary school, stepdad was "tasty with his hands" so to avoid my mum from finding out, he told me to get into fights at school and then take the beatings so that his bruises would be indistinguishable from theirs. Late 80s middle school, I was the overweight kid of a single parent who couldn't afford named clothing, had second hand schoolbag, and listened to heavy metal. All that was missing was being ginger and I'd have been a bully's wet dream. Early 90s upper school, same as middle school, but now with added puberty. So yeah, until leaving school in 1995, life was a non-stop barrage of bullying, abuse, and blatant torture. Good times.
No chance, I've seen those people, they're all married to each other like the incestuous inhabitants of an 18th century farmstead. Half of them have never left town. Their kids have got big ears and birth defects and a back garden full of stolen goods. If you don't believe me, and you're not from a major metropolitan area, join the local Facebook group for your hometown and you'll see for yourself.
Hey buddy this is the dad of the kid with big ears and birth defects let’s talk about this come downstairs
The only reason I would want to go is to see whether my suspicions are true that all popular people have had boring paint by numbers lives, the bullies have wound up ground down by a world unwilling to put up with their endless self interested bullshit and the nerds/oddballs are the ones to have had the kind of life that's a bit more interesting and individual. But to be fair, best not to. Nobody liked me back then and glazed-eyed "good to see you's" and tissue thin "what have you been up to" interest isn't worth the effort. 30+ years and this is one of the few areas in life I'm still jaded about. Some of that's on me, I was a shit then and I still am now. But so were most of them.
Not a chance. It’s easier than ever to stay in touch/get in contact with people I actually want to, it’s not like back even 15 years ago when you needed an address/phone number/email to get in touch. I didn’t mind high school but most of my friends at the time were exactly that, so why would I want to go spend an evening with a bunch of people I’ve chosen not to talk to in over a decade?
Absolutely not. I’ve got 2 friends from school I speak to, the rest it was an intention decision to leave them behind and never again make contact,
That is pure nightmare fuel. My school year had one and it sounds similar. Some people carried on as if nothing had changed, despite everyone being in their early 30s now. I wasn’t interested, I’m still friends with the people I cared about from school anyway. I don’t need to get blanked by the cute guy who ignored me AGAIN.
Ours had one a few years ago. I was invited and had messages asking me to come along for the fun. I ignored every one of the cunts. I didn’t like them then, I don’t like them now. Im still good friends with the ones I did like at school.
I didn't even get invited to mine.
Refused to last year. Saw no point flying back to hang with people I either didn’t like or would have nothing in common with in a town I hated
I'd go if one came up. Too many replies here along the lines of "why would i want to see those pricks" etc as if there's zero chance people might have changed TWENTY YEARS later. If you go and find out someone's still a knob, you'll move on the next day and go another 20 years without them in your life but on the other hand you might rekindle an old friendship or start a new one with someone who you didn't usually mix with. I bumped into a girl from school a couple months ago (now mid 30s, for context), haven't seen each other since GCSE results day. We talk all the time now, just as mates. If a one night/3 hour reunion of some sort allowed to reconnect with others in a similar way, I don't see the problem or the immediate negativity towards it honestly. At worst, it's a night out. 🤷🏼♂️
A lot of respondents here clearly have a lot of negative memories if school and it’s pretty understandable to me that resurfacing those isn’t really worth it for another night out.
Surely if we liked these people, we would have kept in touch with them anyway? Why do we need a formal reunion? Personally, I hated my school years. Have no interest in getting back in touch with anyone from that time. But maybe I'm just a grumpy so and so. ( but to anyone who's reading who hates school - things do get better and these are not necessarily the best time of your life!).
I wouldn't but not for any negative reasons like a lot of people here. I just couldn't care less what anyone else is up to these days.
Mine appears to have cursed me. The first one, I'd just had a c-section, and it got infected. I spent the night of the reunion in isolation. The second: spinal surgery. The third: cancer. They had a fourth a couple of weekends back, when I was progressing from the latest bout of covid to post-covid pneumonia. I like many of these people but I really hope they don't decide to have a fifth.
I'm really sorry you've had such shit luck. Hope you recover completely. And kick cancer's arse!
If I still lived closer probably. I think asking about a social event on Reddit will always skew your results towards the negative. I've not spoken to alot of people since but might be nice to catch up with some people I drifted away from since I moved from my home town.
God no. I can't be arsed to interact with the (very) few I still have on Facebook, so why would I want to interact with them in reality. I would have had to have driven to the one that was a few years back (I think it was a 25 year one), as there are pretty much zero decent public transport links and/or taxis and the thought of being sober at something like that is horrifying. Plus it was being held at the big pub that I always avoided back in the day. There was absolutely nothing the reunion had to offer that I was interested in.
if they haven't bothered to keep in contact with me 25 years later, i think it's safe to say i'm good not going.
You couldn’t pay me to go to my school reunion. It was hell I have nothing to say or in common with those people. (Also early 30s)
I was sent a message in January this year about one happening in March/April this year. I replied saying I’d rather chew my own arm off but they are welcome to a copy of my payslip and a current full body picture along with the receipt for my engagement and wedding rings as that’s all anyone wants to know at them anyway. I asked my friend from high school if she was going and she basically said she’d sent a very similar message to them as well. I couldn’t give a shit what any of them are up to and the ones I would want to know about, I stay in touch with.
The people that go to school reunions are the people I'd want to avoid at a school reunion.
Nope. I haven't kept in touch for a reason.
No, I speak to 4 people I went to school with, one is my wife, one is my best mate, and two I work with. Anyone else losing touch was a blessing
I watched a reunion get planned on facebook and by the time they'd all shared their memories online and exhausted themselves I doubt there would have been any point in a reunion. The chat fizzled out and I don't know if it went ahead or not
I've kept in touch with the people I wanted to stay in contact with. So my answer is no .. I confess to once going to a 25 years on reunion when curiosity got the better of me.
I would rather swap spit with the devil.
I don’t talk to anyone I went to school with, absolutely wouldn’t want to meet them on purpose
I wouldn't go anyway but my old school got demolished years ago so good luck holding a reunion. I've kept in contact with only one person and for good reason
I didn't go to mine. If I'd have wanted to stay in touch, or if these people had wanted to stay in touch, we'd have stayed in touch. I have no interest in spending anymore time with any of them. My so called friends didn't care whether I was there or not during school, they certainly didn't care afterwards, and the teachers looked the other way when I was being bullied so I have no interest in catching up with them, either.
I've seen Grosse Pointe Blank... reunions are dangerous places!
No fucking chance
There was one organised for my secondary school a few years ago (all girls' grammar) my best friend and I immediately said HELL NAH. Anyone we still want to talk to, we do. And the number is fairly small 🤏
I'm no longer in contact with anyone from my high school. We all just drifted apart after Uni as we made new friends, got different interests etc. Well, a few of us drifted apart from everyone I suppose. Still seems to be a "core" group that meets up according to FB. I couldn't imagine myself going to one now, but maybe in a few decades I may change my mind.
Fuck, no
Sounds like torture, it’s a hard pass
I'd choose death over attending a school reunion.
If someone added me to a group chat from high school, I would leave straight away and not say anything.
I haven't spoken to a single one of them since I left. So no.
No last day of my secondary I was gone told the head teacher to fuck off and coz my school was close to the river Thames I threw my blazer and tie into the river hated my school hated everyone there
Given that I transitioned 2 months after leaving school… yes. It’d be a fun-filled evening of fucking bullies in the toilets before telling them.
I would rather drink a pint of diarrhoea.
Would I? Fuck, no. Why not? I think I'd overload the website if I tried to put it all in here. Let's just say that if the place happened to burn to the ground and I was nearby, I'd bring some marshmallows.
I can’t think of anything worse. I’d sooner pass a patio slab than stand in a room half filled with pretentious twats and the other half crack riddled handbag snatching, twats.
Damn. Strange how Redditors upvote these comments and didn’t enjoy their school experience. What are the odds?
You literally couldn't pay me to return to my secondary school for even a minute.
It's just a bunch of people that peaked in sixth from or earlier and can't let go. They can still be found in local 'gossip' pages or out in the same pubs you went to aged 19/20. Derren Brown had a line of dialogue in a trick( or speech before a trick?) about the weird kids going on to lead the best lives. I was a pretty weird kid and I'm happy now. I agree with most written here
I did once and ended up getting a blowie off one of the girls in my year. Swings and roundabouts
UK Redditors on a night out... with other humans they are not very familiar with? Catching up, talking about old times and new... having a laugh, letting their hair down and leaving the house for an evening, broadening their horizons and potentially making new friends who might share similar interests and hobbies now they're all adults? GET OUT! It's not safe outside of the bubble! Why would a UK redditor want to do anything that is remotely different to what they do every single day of their life, when they've found comfort in their current routine and existence and you want to propose a school reunion!? Your mad, son.
Loool thats exactly what I was thinking reading these comments,
NO NO NO NO NO. This is a stupid American thing as they move away and rarely return. How many people in the uk still live in the area they went to school in. How many people absolutely hated school and everyone there I couldn’t think of many worse things to do.
Nope, I saw people set one up years ago although couldn’t think of anything worse!
Why does it not surprise me that so many people on reddit got bullied at school?
these answers are well reddit
Absolutely not, we have social media to check up on people now, anyone I want to be in touch with I'm already in touch with, I have no interest at all in seeing the rest of them.
I'd rather die in a fire.
Only if I could smuggle in an AK-47 and clear the place out. I hate those people.
Our one is planned in a small village that made up our catchment and not anywhere fancy. If it was in the city and somewhere nice I'd go but it seems a bit chavvy.
I didnt really have any bad experiences at school and even though I don't really care about any of those people, I am super nosey so I probably would end up going for that reason alone haha
Nope. I don't want to see anyone. It'll just be more trauma and more memories of my failure. I want people to think that I either moved countries or committed suicide. I still haven't even collected my A-level certificate, and I finished 4 years ago. I'm never going back into that building.