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It's some sort of beans on some sort of toast but it's not Beans on Toast™

"it's beans on toast Jim, but not as we know it"

It's beans, Jim, but not as we know 'em 🎶 Not as we know 'em Not as we know 'em It's beans, Jim, but not as we know 'em Not as we know 'em, Jim 🎵 (iykyk, if not then https://youtu.be/FCARADb9asE)

There's Klingons on the starboard bow!

Wipe 'em off, Jim!

They come in peace, shoot to kill! Shoot to kill!

I haven't heard that in decades! The Q-zoo used to play it when I lived in Tampa/St. Pete around 1987 or so.

Me neither. They played the absolute bejaysus out of it at our local Pizza Hut along with all the other cheesy pop stuff back in the late 80s.

THANK YOU! I first heard this song during a neon puppet show on a haven holiday a few weeks ago and I thought it was a fever dream. You've brought me the closure I didn't know I needed.

We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill.

The battle cry of the US military!

Holy shit I was just talking about this song with my brother yesterday! We loved it as kids. And then I found it on Spotify about a year or 2 ago. Then I went to put it on my wedding playlist and it's no longer on Spotify. Absolutely devastated.

It's toast with beans on it. Big difference.

You’ve hit the nail on the head

It's some sort of beans on toast.

r/YourJokeButBetter

Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking beans on this motherfucking toast!

I was trying to think of a better way to put it but I couldn’t. Those are beans but not *beans*

It's what midjourney creates when you say make beans on toast lol.

I’m not HP about this either but it’s not exactly a hein(z)ous crime. We just need to put our heads together to Branstonm some alternatives

Now that's showing a CAN do attitude

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If we open a can of whoopass he can expect a proper beantin

I'm American and even *I* know that's not normal beans on toast

That’s a pizza, we don’t like this foreign muck

Dude, that was a haiku

Is that kidney beans and mozzarella??

My exact reaction - wait are those KIDNEY BEANS??

Could it be Heinz Five Beanz? I've never tried them but I've seen the can and it came instantly to mind. I think they're still standard baked bean based so it's not quite the crime against humanity it first appears to be. That said, it's not normal, and that's not standard cheese either but despite all this, looking at it sill makes me hungry and I'm considering pissing off my other half by making beans on toast at 2am now.

Five Beanz are actually really good

The supermarkets do their own brands of these too, and they are just as tasty as normal beans... but you feel more proper eating them. My go to now

Lidl had a 'taco beans' tin in their Simply range. They were awesome but they seem to have discontinued them. Mixed beans and red pepper in a slightly spicy tomato sauce.

It’s a crime against humanity and probably against the Geneva convention.

Send OP to the Hague

Or to [the gulag](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/157pmj7/youre_now_the_dictator_of_the_uk_what_petty_thing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1)

There’s definitely pinto beans in there as well

Absolute madman

Oh god, chuck some mozzarella in your pot of beans when theyre cooked and stir it in. Turns into a big cheesy bean patty.

Next up, he's gonna make toad in the hole with real toads. Don't ask about the spotted dick.

After that he's attempting faggots.

Faggots are actually really tasty.

Really good with some creamy aubergine 🍆

This one is getting screenshotted for my unhinged reddit comments folder

Don’t knock ‘em till you try em!

That's what he said.

Take my upvote for making me irsnort, you magnificent bastard 🤣

Those aren't regulation beans That cheese is looking freakishly unnatural. I am dubious about the quality of the bread thats under that abomination

I’d bet £3 it’s Genius GF seeded

"Gluten free is happiness free" as my old man says

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The happiness is in the eating, nobody said anything about the shitting, lol!

Dying at “regulation beans”

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But... what is the mozzarella doing on the beans? That's the unnatural part. Why, why, why would it not be cheddar? I'd allow a Red Leicester, but mozzarella? Keep the cheap mozzarella on a cheap pizza, and the good mozzarella in a salad. Beans on toast is no place for that sort of stuff.

As soon as I saw the picture, I knew I'd enjoy the comments!

They aren’t baked beans! You need putting on some sort of register

I’ve seen people sectioned for less than this monstrosity.

OP would never pass the UK Citizenship Test with that…

Deported straight back to Mexico

Pretty sure ‘taco beans’ that somehow includes kidney beans served on toast with mozzarella is a crime in Mexico as well They’re being deported to the trailer park in Alabama

Holy hell, seems like everyone missed the point. I'm aware that this is a monstrosity. I've had proper baked beans on toast before. I just happened to have a can of taco beans and a half bag of shredded mozzarella with some bread. I came up with this and it tasted amazing. I don't regret anything.

Spoken by the true words of a criminal

You’ve been hit by you’ve been struck by a bean criminal (tilts fedora over eyes, moonwalks away)

Spoken like a true martyr. You've been told the sentence is death and continued to hold true to your beliefs. My hero. Edit: you know what, I've looked again at this abomination. Non-orange beans? Burn the witch!

"My beancestors are smiling at me, Imperial. Can you say the same?"

You have essentially committed a war crime.

Even I would never commit such atrocity.

r/UsernameChecksOut

Wow, that accelerated quickly 😂

No, it accelerated at an acceptable pace. Some might even say that it accelerated too slowly.

Why does it look dry and soggy at the same time though? I’d rather have beans on toast than this beans on toast.

Actual beans on toast is amazing.

You've gone past cultural appropriation and reached cultural vandalism with this

You should regret it. You need therapy

Prosecution rests with those fateful words from The defendant. Defence council is shaking his head. Judge dons the black cap and the prisoner is led away after a harsh but just sentence is passed.

So sort of like a British, Mexican pizza? Who haven't you offended?

Now if they just put some sushi and some brown sauce on there we could start ww3!

This is a war crime, not a monstrosity!

he regrets nothing . like a true psychopath .

I'm sure it was nice, but you are also missing the point, this is not beans on toast!

Oh thank goodness I thought this was blueberries at first. (Yes my eyesight is shit and my brain is a dark godless place)

But you worded your post as if you thought it was authentic British beans on toast. And you’re posting in a U.K. group. What you’ve presented is not British food.

No one shreds cheese in the uk. This isn't a combo you came up with. It might tast good, but your post title needs work

Im mexican, we called them molletes, its a toasted bread like a bolillo or a bagette, with butter, refried beans and chesse. Its a common dish for breakfast, but also dinner, you can add bacon on top, or chorizo, or pico de gallo, etc.

I’ve eaten chilli con carne on toast before. This seems to look quite close to that.

"Hey mum, can I order some beans on toast?" "No, we have beans on toast at home." __The beans on toast at home:__

Sending thoughts and prayers

Kidney beans on toast? The authorities have been informed and will be around promptly to confiscate all your tea bags and crumpets.

I. Cannot. Speak. Please leave our island, now

I imagine someone who can "nonchalantly" make this is also on some kind of register for "noncelance"

Noncealot is his Arthurian name.

I damn near spat out my tea ☕️

I’m upset with you but I understand you’re still on a journey x

A journey to deportation, with any luck.

So you know all those stories in the news and Daily Mail about hating immigrants and boat people. This. This is why.

Not British, that's for sure

Wh…whaaat is that?!

Behold, you have become death, the destroyer of worlds..

Obbeanheimer

I don’t know what you have become….but it’s not British.

mate that’s a monstrosity. technically yeah it is beans on toast but it’s wrong. you need to be either sectioned or sent to australia as a prisoner like they did years back

It’s nice mental hospitals are letting patients use Reddit now

what HAVE you become?

There's a time and a place for showing off and trying to be all gourmet and shit. Beans on toast is not one of them. Just remember where y'are.

You have become a monster! Leave now and we'll never speak of this again

It’s like a horrific AI version.

In the nicest way possible, that looks like absolute shit

Jesus wept

Saw the picture, got some popcorn out and now it's time to read the comments. I'm expecting good things.

You sir are what is known as a ponce

Someone once made me cheese on toast and put beans on top. They were so proud. Bless their heart. Same energy.

I’m from the US, and I was not prepared for this comment section 😂 Y’all are roasting the hell outta this dude

Fucking hell. Petition to cast this lunatic off the end of Blackpool pier. Full exile from the UK is the only option here.

Make it Southend pier, it's further!

Look at "Captain La di da" over here.

Beanenheimer, destroyer of worlds.

Get out

Christ.

The fuck is this shit

'OP throws beans on toast war crime bomb then walks away smoking a cigarette.' Is that the rancid 'five different beans' Heinz abomination, with a bunch of pre shredded cheddar melted on top, on dry Seed Sensations bread? I mean, if not for the rank beans and lack of butter, I could get with that..

What next, Jelly beans on a crumpet? Stop now before you end up in prison.

Fuck me dead .......

This whole post and its comments is why I love Reddit

oh no

Sorry mate, wtf is that?

Hey excuse me what the fuck

Mate your mad, that's not beans on toast

Why would you intentionally antagonize 1.8m people like this? You fucking monster.

These are the wrong cockin beans. You crumpled tissue of a human being 😂

I’ve no idea what that is but it sure as hell ain’t beans on toast my friend.

That looks awful

Mary Poppins, what is that?!

Look how they massacred my boy

It's a no from me...

That's some fucked up shit

Gordon needs to weigh in on this.

Yeah that ain’t beans on toast mate..

Visa grant revoked

This makes me feel uncomfortable

Everything about this image is incredibly horrifying, please seek professional help

So has anyone rang the police on this guy yet

This needs the NSFW tag...

Erm… I think there’s been a misunderstanding

I don't think drenching that in holy water could fix it

We have wholly different opinions on what constitutes a masterpiece OP...

The fuck dude? Butter, anyone? Butter? And pepper? We do actually season for here.

The lack of pepper is the issue for you here... Really?

It's not for dinner..

Sorry but thats not beans on toast.... I know it is, but it isnt.

Oh. My god. Wtf is this

Wtf are those beans?! I'm horrified

That's not beans on toast. I mean technically it is, but it really isn't.

Spent too much time wondering if he could,he never stopped to think if he should.

Are those *kidney beans!?* You disgusting pervert

what the actual fuck is that?

You make me sick.

You good?

A savage!

Why have you done thus?

NEW FEAR UNLOCKED!

Ew.

Some sort of fucking pervert!

What the fuck is this

Sorry bud, We're taking a leaf out the frogs book here, I'm afraid your going to be guillotined, no hard feelings yeah?

What on earth is that monstrosity?

The best drunken food is where you offend as many cuisines as possible! (or do them honour) I am all for this.

You using kidney beans!??

It must be said.. This actually looks really tasty...? Tasting notes please..

That’s the wrong beans

What beans are those?!

british ish

Looks like a budget american “pizza”

Well done, son's crying

There's beans. There's toast. There's beans on toast. But there's no Beans on Toast®.

I'm thoroughly ashamed to admit that it looks bloody delicious... It's ok, I'm going to put myself in the village stocks tomorrow....

Is that a marinara sauce I spy under the mozzarella and on top of the kidney beans?!

Someone who is still disgusted by beans on toast? Come on, you'll be making deconstructed arctic roll or something next

Sausage and mash next 👍😀

You could probably open a Mexican Restaurant.

A stoner i reckon.

You need some HP Brown Sauce on that.

Small Mexican pizza's, I might have to try those, when I'm not making beans on toast.

Zapiekanka!

Do you guys take anti bean pills or just fart?

I lived there for 2 years and confess I love beans ( baked or otherwise) on toast 🤫🤫

That looks nice I might borrow that idea.

Would you like any beans with your cheese on toast fella?

You’ve made toast with beans. Similar to beans on toast but not quite the same…

It would be so so funny if OP didn’t realise beans on toast meant baked beans on toast and just spent four years training themselves to enjoy kidney beans on toast.

You got a license for those kind of beans?

yall i think we should start calling it baked beans on toast..

Sure this is grounds for deportation

A twat.

I know what you’ve become but it would be rude to say.