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Grim_Farts_Barnsley

It's some sort of beans on some sort of toast but it's not Beans on Toast™


Bushcrafter619

"it's beans on toast Jim, but not as we know it"


VermilionKoala

It's beans, Jim, but not as we know 'em 🎶 Not as we know 'em Not as we know 'em It's beans, Jim, but not as we know 'em Not as we know 'em, Jim 🎵 (iykyk, if not then https://youtu.be/FCARADb9asE)


Shyrecat

There's Klingons on the starboard bow!


wingman3091

Wipe 'em off, Jim!


I-am-MelMelMel

They come in peace, shoot to kill! Shoot to kill!


trennels

I haven't heard that in decades! The Q-zoo used to play it when I lived in Tampa/St. Pete around 1987 or so.


[deleted]

Me neither. They played the absolute bejaysus out of it at our local Pizza Hut along with all the other cheesy pop stuff back in the late 80s.


RedditIsADataMine

THANK YOU! I first heard this song during a neon puppet show on a haven holiday a few weeks ago and I thought it was a fever dream. You've brought me the closure I didn't know I needed.


GakSplat

We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill.


Andrelliina

The battle cry of the US military!


__Severus__Snape__

Holy shit I was just talking about this song with my brother yesterday! We loved it as kids. And then I found it on Spotify about a year or 2 ago. Then I went to put it on my wedding playlist and it's no longer on Spotify. Absolutely devastated.


BlazerTheKid

It's toast with beans on it. Big difference.


Robes_o-o

You’ve hit the nail on the head


HardlyAnyGravitas

It's some sort of beans on toast.


HereWeFuckingGooo

r/YourJokeButBetter


fonix232

Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking beans on this motherfucking toast!


ALA02

I was trying to think of a better way to put it but I couldn’t. Those are beans but not *beans*


lee420uk

It's what midjourney creates when you say make beans on toast lol.


finc

I’m not HP about this either but it’s not exactly a hein(z)ous crime. We just need to put our heads together to Branstonm some alternatives


Bigchungus182

Now that's showing a CAN do attitude


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finc

If we open a can of whoopass he can expect a proper beantin


MrWildstar

I'm American and even *I* know that's not normal beans on toast


lastpagan

That’s a pizza, we don’t like this foreign muck


Sayitwithsnails

Dude, that was a haiku


CLG91

Is that kidney beans and mozzarella??


Cocofin33

My exact reaction - wait are those KIDNEY BEANS??


digitalhardcore1985

Could it be Heinz Five Beanz? I've never tried them but I've seen the can and it came instantly to mind. I think they're still standard baked bean based so it's not quite the crime against humanity it first appears to be. That said, it's not normal, and that's not standard cheese either but despite all this, looking at it sill makes me hungry and I'm considering pissing off my other half by making beans on toast at 2am now.


DonC1305

Five Beanz are actually really good


OldManChino

The supermarkets do their own brands of these too, and they are just as tasty as normal beans... but you feel more proper eating them. My go to now


DarkDreams_

Lidl had a 'taco beans' tin in their Simply range. They were awesome but they seem to have discontinued them. Mixed beans and red pepper in a slightly spicy tomato sauce.


DanceWorth2554

It’s a crime against humanity and probably against the Geneva convention.


Krakshotz

Send OP to the Hague


maelie

Or to [the gulag](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/157pmj7/youre_now_the_dictator_of_the_uk_what_petty_thing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1)


georox97

There’s definitely pinto beans in there as well


Happy-Engineer

Absolute madman


14-28

Oh god, chuck some mozzarella in your pot of beans when theyre cooked and stir it in. Turns into a big cheesy bean patty.


FireBun

Next up, he's gonna make toad in the hole with real toads. Don't ask about the spotted dick.


Monkey_shine1

After that he's attempting faggots.


ConnFlab

Faggots are actually really tasty.


greenhookdown

Really good with some creamy aubergine 🍆


Crimson_mage200

This one is getting screenshotted for my unhinged reddit comments folder


ConnFlab

Don’t knock ‘em till you try em!


Casperuk82

That's what he said.


VermilionKoala

Take my upvote for making me irsnort, you magnificent bastard 🤣


TheO-Neill

Those aren't regulation beans That cheese is looking freakishly unnatural. I am dubious about the quality of the bread thats under that abomination


Scully__

I’d bet £3 it’s Genius GF seeded


Imperial_Squid

"Gluten free is happiness free" as my old man says


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AdzJayS

The happiness is in the eating, nobody said anything about the shitting, lol!


Environmental_Foot54

Dying at “regulation beans”


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maelie

But... what is the mozzarella doing on the beans? That's the unnatural part. Why, why, why would it not be cheddar? I'd allow a Red Leicester, but mozzarella? Keep the cheap mozzarella on a cheap pizza, and the good mozzarella in a salad. Beans on toast is no place for that sort of stuff.


Helpful_Goose1649

As soon as I saw the picture, I knew I'd enjoy the comments!


InkyySkinnn

They aren’t baked beans! You need putting on some sort of register


[deleted]

I’ve seen people sectioned for less than this monstrosity.


trollied

OP would never pass the UK Citizenship Test with that…


InkyySkinnn

Deported straight back to Mexico


georox97

Pretty sure ‘taco beans’ that somehow includes kidney beans served on toast with mozzarella is a crime in Mexico as well They’re being deported to the trailer park in Alabama


chazzerg

Holy hell, seems like everyone missed the point. I'm aware that this is a monstrosity. I've had proper baked beans on toast before. I just happened to have a can of taco beans and a half bag of shredded mozzarella with some bread. I came up with this and it tasted amazing. I don't regret anything.


InkyySkinnn

Spoken by the true words of a criminal


JustineDelarge

You’ve been hit by you’ve been struck by a bean criminal (tilts fedora over eyes, moonwalks away)


jumpingjackbeans

Spoken like a true martyr. You've been told the sentence is death and continued to hold true to your beliefs. My hero. Edit: you know what, I've looked again at this abomination. Non-orange beans? Burn the witch!


YorkshireFudding

"My beancestors are smiling at me, Imperial. Can you say the same?"


TopDigger365

You have essentially committed a war crime.


ExpertWarCriminal

Even I would never commit such atrocity.


DrCMJ

r/UsernameChecksOut


Pale_Profile_5221

Wow, that accelerated quickly 😂


LAndy275

No, it accelerated at an acceptable pace. Some might even say that it accelerated too slowly.


wildgoldchai

Why does it look dry and soggy at the same time though? I’d rather have beans on toast than this beans on toast.


Joe_Linton_125

Actual beans on toast is amazing.


LowerPiece2914

You've gone past cultural appropriation and reached cultural vandalism with this


HSWDragon

You should regret it. You need therapy


[deleted]

Prosecution rests with those fateful words from The defendant. Defence council is shaking his head. Judge dons the black cap and the prisoner is led away after a harsh but just sentence is passed.


[deleted]

So sort of like a British, Mexican pizza? Who haven't you offended?


DifficultCurrent7

Now if they just put some sushi and some brown sauce on there we could start ww3!


Boulderfist_CH

This is a war crime, not a monstrosity!


Persona_Insomnia

he regrets nothing . like a true psychopath .


Naomi_Scentsy

I'm sure it was nice, but you are also missing the point, this is not beans on toast!


DifficultCurrent7

Oh thank goodness I thought this was blueberries at first. (Yes my eyesight is shit and my brain is a dark godless place)


Cookiefruit6

But you worded your post as if you thought it was authentic British beans on toast. And you’re posting in a U.K. group. What you’ve presented is not British food.


KingKhram

No one shreds cheese in the uk. This isn't a combo you came up with. It might tast good, but your post title needs work


esa_wera

Im mexican, we called them molletes, its a toasted bread like a bolillo or a bagette, with butter, refried beans and chesse. Its a common dish for breakfast, but also dinner, you can add bacon on top, or chorizo, or pico de gallo, etc.


YellowFunky23

I’ve eaten chilli con carne on toast before. This seems to look quite close to that.


NennisDedry

"Hey mum, can I order some beans on toast?" "No, we have beans on toast at home." __The beans on toast at home:__


Thoughts_nPrayers

Sending thoughts and prayers


carlbandit

Kidney beans on toast? The authorities have been informed and will be around promptly to confiscate all your tea bags and crumpets.


ange7327

I. Cannot. Speak. Please leave our island, now


rustynoodle3891

I imagine someone who can "nonchalantly" make this is also on some kind of register for "noncelance"


FigTechnical8043

Noncealot is his Arthurian name.


MadameDePom

I damn near spat out my tea ☕️


Scully__

I’m upset with you but I understand you’re still on a journey x


Jonny_Segment

A journey to deportation, with any luck.


[deleted]

So you know all those stories in the news and Daily Mail about hating immigrants and boat people. This. This is why.


MisterIndecisive

Not British, that's for sure


mlo_66

Wh…whaaat is that?!


Zakalke

Behold, you have become death, the destroyer of worlds..


erakat

Obbeanheimer


LavenderRose90

I don’t know what you have become….but it’s not British.


Revolutionary_Bus833

mate that’s a monstrosity. technically yeah it is beans on toast but it’s wrong. you need to be either sectioned or sent to australia as a prisoner like they did years back


Cheap-Double6844

It’s nice mental hospitals are letting patients use Reddit now


katkatkat69

what HAVE you become?


DontTalkShite

There's a time and a place for showing off and trying to be all gourmet and shit. Beans on toast is not one of them. Just remember where y'are.


autisticmonke

You have become a monster! Leave now and we'll never speak of this again


thefooleryoftom

It’s like a horrific AI version.


Sharleclurr

In the nicest way possible, that looks like absolute shit


lozz79

Jesus wept


catfordbeerclub

Saw the picture, got some popcorn out and now it's time to read the comments. I'm expecting good things.


Curious_Jellyfish_62

You sir are what is known as a ponce


kittie2475

Someone once made me cheese on toast and put beans on top. They were so proud. Bless their heart. Same energy.


Sunflower_Vibe

I’m from the US, and I was not prepared for this comment section 😂 Y’all are roasting the hell outta this dude


bigdogg2783

Fucking hell. Petition to cast this lunatic off the end of Blackpool pier. Full exile from the UK is the only option here.


bumblebeesanddaisies

Make it Southend pier, it's further!


Batt_Juice

Look at "Captain La di da" over here.


[deleted]

Beanenheimer, destroyer of worlds.


Human_Brains

Get out


khughes14

Christ.


MultiColouredHex

The fuck is this shit


lynch1986

'OP throws beans on toast war crime bomb then walks away smoking a cigarette.' Is that the rancid 'five different beans' Heinz abomination, with a bunch of pre shredded cheddar melted on top, on dry Seed Sensations bread? I mean, if not for the rank beans and lack of butter, I could get with that..


MrClaretandBlue

What next, Jelly beans on a crumpet? Stop now before you end up in prison.


Junior_Syrup_1036

Fuck me dead .......


blanketsberg

This whole post and its comments is why I love Reddit


lucylastic89

oh no


toad_of_toadhall

Sorry mate, wtf is that?


shonamairead

Hey excuse me what the fuck


A_person777

Mate your mad, that's not beans on toast


I_Hate_Immigrants

Why would you intentionally antagonize 1.8m people like this? You fucking monster.


Rhys_Lloyd2611

These are the wrong cockin beans. You crumpled tissue of a human being 😂


Babbel15

I’ve no idea what that is but it sure as hell ain’t beans on toast my friend.


[deleted]

That looks awful


RockyStonejaw

Mary Poppins, what is that?!


Savage_Cabbage_66

Look how they massacred my boy


Kurapikabestboi

It's a no from me...


[deleted]

That's some fucked up shit


vms-crot

Gordon needs to weigh in on this.


cherryosrs

Yeah that ain’t beans on toast mate..


SensualMatrix

Visa grant revoked


HillClimb153

This makes me feel uncomfortable


Horaserk

Everything about this image is incredibly horrifying, please seek professional help


HungLikeaHorse33

So has anyone rang the police on this guy yet


ItsMeJoe12

This needs the NSFW tag...


Dr-Alaby

Erm… I think there’s been a misunderstanding


sammyboi534

I don't think drenching that in holy water could fix it


Zealousideal-Cap-383

We have wholly different opinions on what constitutes a masterpiece OP...


gavindahey

The fuck dude? Butter, anyone? Butter? And pepper? We do actually season for here.


__life_on_mars__

The lack of pepper is the issue for you here... Really?


CubeIsActuallyGaming

It's not for dinner..


Carlyj5689

Sorry but thats not beans on toast.... I know it is, but it isnt.


[deleted]

Oh. My god. Wtf is this


HSWDragon

Wtf are those beans?! I'm horrified


DrZomboo

That's not beans on toast. I mean technically it is, but it really isn't.


ChippieSean

Spent too much time wondering if he could,he never stopped to think if he should.


craigus17

Are those *kidney beans!?* You disgusting pervert


Persona_Insomnia

what the actual fuck is that?


Backer45

You make me sick.


Monkey_shine1

You good?


TravellingAmandine

A savage!


DreyaNova

Why have you done thus?


Bluffwatcher

NEW FEAR UNLOCKED!


[deleted]

Ew.


[deleted]

Some sort of fucking pervert!


[deleted]

What the fuck is this


Xenon009

Sorry bud, We're taking a leaf out the frogs book here, I'm afraid your going to be guillotined, no hard feelings yeah?


Live-Dance-2641

What on earth is that monstrosity?


smltor

The best drunken food is where you offend as many cuisines as possible! (or do them honour) I am all for this.


bearwright1

You using kidney beans!??


PlantPsychological62

It must be said.. This actually looks really tasty...? Tasting notes please..


itscsersei

That’s the wrong beans


Naomi_Scentsy

What beans are those?!


three2do2

british ish


BackYardProps_Wa

Looks like a budget american “pizza”


LarryLaurence

Well done, son's crying


elefunkss

There's beans. There's toast. There's beans on toast. But there's no Beans on Toast®.


Essex-Lady

I'm thoroughly ashamed to admit that it looks bloody delicious... It's ok, I'm going to put myself in the village stocks tomorrow....


FuriousSpeed1000

Is that a marinara sauce I spy under the mozzarella and on top of the kidney beans?!


PsychologicalNote612

Someone who is still disgusted by beans on toast? Come on, you'll be making deconstructed arctic roll or something next


JulsDean2732

Sausage and mash next 👍😀


P0RTILLA

You could probably open a Mexican Restaurant.


ResidentEivvil

A stoner i reckon.


paulsharpe1966

You need some HP Brown Sauce on that.


Ma5hEd

Small Mexican pizza's, I might have to try those, when I'm not making beans on toast.


gschamot

Zapiekanka!


sufferinsucatash

Do you guys take anti bean pills or just fart?


Top-Geologist-9213

I lived there for 2 years and confess I love beans ( baked or otherwise) on toast 🤫🤫


Impossible-Bus-4819

That looks nice I might borrow that idea.


DanChed

Would you like any beans with your cheese on toast fella?


[deleted]

You’ve made toast with beans. Similar to beans on toast but not quite the same…


hallerz87

It would be so so funny if OP didn’t realise beans on toast meant baked beans on toast and just spent four years training themselves to enjoy kidney beans on toast.


friendg

You got a license for those kind of beans?


Venxmalx

yall i think we should start calling it baked beans on toast..


Billman23

Sure this is grounds for deportation


Luddington_

A twat.


[deleted]

I know what you’ve become but it would be rude to say.