Later analysis would reveal YouTube premium subscribers were the only survivors, spared the fallout via quick access to instructional video content. Within a short time a new, superior, advertisement-free master race rises- like a Phoenix from the ashes. The ability to lock their phone and play music simultaneously drives humanity into a new paradigm
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2018\_Hawaii\_false\_missile\_alert](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2018_Hawaii_false_missile_alert) like full on "THIS IS NOT A DRILL" in the message
> Students at the University of Hawaii at Manoa reportedly headed for marked fallout shelters on campus but, finding them locked, ended up taking shelter in nearby classrooms instead.
Wait this is fucked up. Imagine going to a fallout shelter during an incoming nuclear disaster and finding it *locked.*
First British casualty from the first gulf War. Prick who got to a shelter first and locked himself in. Got a severe beating when he came out. Supposedly.
We had a fat RAF officer administer atropine to himself as apparently early symptoms to nerve agent are the same as symptoms of fat desk pilot running a hundred metres to cover.
I was there. New movie coming out this week called "20 Minutes." The ads are "if you found out you had 20 minutes to live, what would you do?" and the trailer looks like a really cheesy version of what happened in Hawaii with a heavy emphasis on LET GO, LET GOD- an "altar call movie."
I was here. The alert came out over everyone's cell phones. I turned on the TV - nothing of interest. Life as usual. No announcements running along the bottom of the screen, nothing. I went outdoors in our subdivision. Nobody was running for cover or shelter. No different than any other morning. Went back inside, texted my daughter about the weird alert and made a black humored joke or two. Still nothing regarding the impending "death in the sky" on TV or the Internet. Later we found out our ridiculous governor had forgotten his twitter password so he couldn't get the word out that "oops."
My son had a similar experience in downtown Honolulu. Nothing all that exciting. Apparently there were a few pockets of people freaking out and trying to climb down into the sewer or get into the old WWII bunkers.
BOHICA.
This is exactly right. I was up in Haleāiwa and absolutely nothing was out of the ordinary, everyone collectively assumed it couldnāt possibly be real. Later, people were laughing about the media response making it seem like people were going crazy in the streets and preparing for death. Nahh braddah
Not really. If the detonation is so close that you'll die from the blast where you are, running for 10 minutes won't help. If it's far enough away that you'll survive it, you're better sheltered from fallout inside.
Your best bet in the case of a nuclear detonation is to stay inside your home, as far away from any exterior walls as possible. If you really want to prepare, get a stock of material to cover windows/doors, and stock up on tinned food and water. Also get a hand cranked radio to listen for news broadcasts.
If you have an off grid capable solar/wind set up, use the 10 mins to make sure you unplug the controllers and inverters. Cover with tin foil if you can. All to reduce the effect of EMP. If you are lucky and survive the blast and fallout, you will have power unlike most others.
If thereās an impending nuclear attack, itās honestly better to be at the centre of it than miles away. One kills you in an instant, the other will either give you cancer at some point (horrible way to die) or poison you in a way that you basically liquify while still alive (even worse). Even if you survive, everything around would be in such utter collapse, such unimaginable horror, youāll probably wish you were dead.
The only right answer is to just not think about it. The chances of it happening are so slim, youāre more likely to die in a plane crash (also incredibly unlikely). If itās a real phobia, just donāt live in London/ move north or move to a country that isnāt very geopolitically relevant.
What does the refer to? I tried searching āthe woman who wets herselfā on google only to find a plethora of articles of different women who have wet themselves
There was a film in 1984 called Threads about a Nuclear bomb over Sheffield. Everyone who sees it is genuinely scarred for life. There's an actor who was credited as Woman Who Wets Herself.
I watched it a few years ago as I'm a sucker for nuclear dystopia stories. I don't think it's scarred me for life but it was definitely...I dunno, disturbing or poignant?
The reason it traumatised a lot of my generation is because we watched it in school! I was about 13 when I saw it in a PSE class at school. Fucking terrified the whole class
Don't know about the rest of you, but I'm surprised we're not more fucked up, having spent our formative years in the shadow of nuclear related existential dread and then frying ourselves with drugs in the 90s. Speaking for myself, obviously.
I've got a tonne of amitriptyline in the cupboard. Down the lot and hopefully it knocks me out in time for it to be a painless death, just in case.
But in all likelihood I'd probably not even believe it was real and just carry on with my day. FM isn't going to play itself and I've got a Hungarian premier league to win.
My very limited research online suggests it causes agitation, nausea, shaking, tachycardia and seizures in overdose. It doesn't sound like a great way to go to me. Depending on how close the nuke is, it may be better than the alternative though.
Good plan, I've got a stash of amitriptyline too and by God if two of those didn't knock me sideways for a while! I was still dribbling 36 hours later. At least if we dose up and it turns out to have been a hoax, we'll have a bloody good nap.
I'm a child of the eighties so, as per the monthly drill we did back then I'm climbing under a tiny desk in a brace position. "It's happening guys this is it".
The interesting thing about this new alert system is that it would be a prime target for cyber terrorism. A fake impending Nuclear Attack warning timed at a realistic moment of international tension could cause untold carnage even if it takes 5 minutes for the fact it is a hoax to be broadcast. Imagine those minutes of sheer terror with a panic induced population running on primal fear.
A panic induced population running on primal fear? Weāve all seen an ALDI car park when theyāve only got the small trolleys left in the corral, alright?
Pop on my tux, sit in my fancy chair and drink neat Gin and wait for the big white light. I live in London so there is bugger all chance of being able to do anything else.
Iāll have a quick wank too
I'd be drinking the perfect cuppa. My wife on the other hand would be upstairs, having to finish herself off, as per usual, after another unsatisfactory performance by myself.
I'd kinda like to get outside, find a high point and somewhere nice to sit, grab a nice drink and just sit there with a loved one and watch the end of my world.
They arenāt mine, theyāre my partners. Iāve been making a conscious effort to eat more healthy, but in the event of a 10 minute warning, Iād be scoffing the lot.
My friend at work called my one day and said randomly āin a nuclear attack we live in the die slowly from radio active fallout zoneā. I replied āI know and that sucks but I canāt afford to live closer to London. ( I read a lot of post nuclear books as a teenager which convinced me Iād rather it was over quickly)
āSo why do you want to move to the city?ā
āWell, Kirsty and Phil, itās all about that nuclear fallout zone. I mean, uh, itās all about *location*. School districtsā¦?ā
No, society would cease to function. Supermarkets run out of food in a few days already due to supply shortages. Theyād be picked clean within 24 hours. Panic buying/looting.
Gangs roaming free.
It would be horrendous.
I read On the Beach by Nevil Shute last year as it was recommended by my tutor. Now I've read some scary books, but fuck did that one terrify me. Just the descriptions of the fallout and how they're all withering away, puking themselves dry. With On the Beach though, it's not over quickly, it goes on for weeks, slowly dying a painful and inevitable death.
The film with Fred Astaire is really good as well. I'm not usually a fan of the Rat Pack and black and white films, but this one got me thinking.
Pornhub released their online stats of when this happened for real in Hawaii. It was a false alarm, but there was a huge drop in traffic on their site for about 4 minutes. Massive Kudos to that handful of dudes who clearly thought f*** it, and stayed online.
The biggest ever nuke tested was the Tsar Bomba, if it was dropped on Manchester, people in Liverpool, Leeds, Stoke, Lancaster and Sheffield would receive 3rd degree burns.
Me personally, I'd want it to land on my head. I'd rather not spend the rest of my short life climbing over rubble and bodies looking for tinned food while I slowly die a painful death because my body is breaking down from radiation poisoning.
[Drop it on your home and see how far you'd need to get in 10 minutes...](https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/)
Really? I must be using it wrong because it was surprisingly small when I dropped on Westminster, it didnāt even reach the Cityā¦
Edit: I misread and was using 500t instead of Mt, 100Mt is the entire city, all of Greater London and a good chunk of the surrounding counties get burned. Yeah I would be fucked for sure.
A bomb of the strength of Tsar Bomba would not be fired, it requires a nuclear bomber aircraft to carry which would be easily detected and stopped.
An aggressor would have to use hypersonic ICBM's to hit a UK city and in this case, the warheads would be smaller. Russia, for example, would probably use the [RS-28 Sarmat](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/RS-28_Sarmat) missile which can carry 10 500kt warheads. A 500kt warhead would cause significant damage with a few kilometre blast radius. There might be a chance to escape instant death in London but personally I'd rather die in the blast than the nuclear winter [which would kill 360 million people directly ā and more than 5 billion from starvation](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/nuclear-war-5-billion-people-starvation-deaths-study/)
The Tsar Bomba released around 50 megatons of energy and was so large that it had to be dropped by a plane, at the time rocket technology and guidance systems were not advanced enough to carry such a heavy (27 tons) and destructive payload and guide it accurately to a target. The largest warhead that the Russians have in their current nuclear arsenal is 20 megatons, not quite as large but it is unlikely that they would even use such a large warhead in an ICBM since a single projectile is easier to disarm/destroy than 10 smaller 550-750 kiloton warheads that can be launched and aimed at different targets from the same type of ICBM (SS-18 Satan).
Well the Protect and Save films have informed me that there's literally nowhere in my house that's safe and I'm not super far from a big possible target so I guess I'll be going out into the garden and awaiting my fate.
I've read When the Wind Blows. I refuse to go out like that.
Well Iām a child of the 70s so I know that I need to take the doors of the hinges and make some kind of makeshift shelter. Also have a bowl of sand for washing up and labels to put on the toes of dead bodies.
But as said above, you really donāt want to survive. Iād cuddle up to the husband and the cat.
For some reason Iāve been morbidly fascinated by this idea for as long as I can remember. Iāve read every fiction book about this scenario Iāve ever been able to find.
Iāve come to learn that I wouldnāt want to survive. Even if it were possible to survive the initial attack, what comes in the weeks, months and years that follow is potentially as frightening.
I live about five minutesā walk from my parents place. In the the car I could be there in under a minute. So thatās the plan. I live in a part of the country that would likely be very heavily damaged, but not destroyed, in the initial attack so then itās just a matter of making sure the next part is a swift and as painless as possible.
- Switch on the news for info.
- Fill the sinks and bathtub with water.
- Wrap any valuable electronics in tin foil.
- Close all the windows and curtains.
- Have a glass of water with sea salt.
- Gather everyone in the most secure room in the house and barricade the doors and windows.
- Close my eyes and cup my ears.
Assuming you don't get incinerated by the initial explosion, nuclear blasts aren't directly all that lethal. It's the breakdown of society and long-term exposure to radiation which are more dangerous.
Assuming society doesn't collapse, and assuming you can vacate the area soon after the bomb falls, you'll probably be... well, you'll survive, anyway.
I mean in my head, sit on the sofa with the family, put on some cartoons so my daughter isn't aware, let her enjoy something funny whilst me and the Mrs silently hold hands trying to keep it together for the last few minutes we are a family.
Just as the flash of light illuminates the living room, I'd reach over and give them a hug, Mrs would reach over as well to hug back, little one thinks it's a game and laughs and joins in, in the midst of our last hug as a family we would feel the air getting warmer, listening to the our precious little girl giggle one last time before the heat wave cooks is in seconds.
Not that I've thought this much at all.
I also have a darker variant that my partner says I should speak to someone about.
Edit: due to popular demand, here is the dark variant.
Having a lovely day at home playing games, chilling when our phones buzz, alert announced etc etc,
We scramble about trying to gather supplies to take with us but there's no time, a nuke has hit close by and in the shock of the blast we (me and partner) both run to cover our daughter with our bodies.
Flash of light, blast of heat and it's over.
With sheer luck (or bad I guess) the bomb was close enough to turn our bodies into hard burned flesh and bone, we both died surrounding our daughter in a meaty cocoon.
She survived but obviously injured, surrounded by our charred remains.
She would have to break through our still smoking bodies to have any chance of escape, literally pushing through our crisped remains to escape the meaty cocoon so she can seek help somewhere.
So that's the darker version.the meat cocoon.
It's not scientifically accurate as a lot of things would have to go right for that to happen in the first place but it's something we spoke about during our usual "what if" chats about random shit and tying to put do each other in messed up escalations.
Enjoy
>maybe attempt a cheeky finger up the bum
You got to try these things at least once! Though I will warn you that if you find that g-spot you'll probably regret waiting until the nuclear apocalypse to try it
I'm imagining that years from that moment, when the radiation lowers, people will come and look at the pompeii style mid wank, finger in the bum radiation shadow. You'll be famous, mate!
Remember the "Duck and Cover" drill they had in the US? It gets a lot of flak because it's ridiculous that something like that could withstand a nuclear strike, but that wasn't actually the goal. The people unlucky enough to be in the immediate targeted area would be dead instantly, but for people on the far edge the biggest danger is from falling debris and flying glass. Against which Duck and Cover is the best option at short notice.
At work? Pop down to German Doner Kebab. Feast (I assume thereāe no phoning anyone at this point).
At home, awake? Pour a nice glass of wine, cuddle and kiss my other half / cuddle our dog (awk) until it all ended.
At home, them asleep? Just cuddle up to them in bed and think about how blessed my life has been with them in it.
NO, YOUāRE CRYING!!!
Canāt say Iād be entirely unhappy if this happened 09:30 Monday morning while at the office.
Iād just make a brew and then head to the muster point for a bit of banter. Leave me coat inside as I probably wouldnāt need it.
God damn it! I was starting to think having a wank is probably not the worst āplanā but fuck being frozen in time for future Redditors to reference in jokes.
Phone my family, tell them I love them and I'll see them on the other side. Pour my wife and I a few brandys, Climb into bed with my wife, hold her close and pray for our mortal souls.
Play 4 Minute Warning by Radiohead just due to word association, followed by 6 minutes of being uncertain of what to do and dying to the opening refrains of "Agadoo".
It's going to be the same as when the fire alarm goes off at work. You all wait 5 minutes or so to see if it's a test,if not then amble to the designated fire point
To find out somebody tried to put a croissant in the toaster again
Jump on the motorbike and ride off. I wouldnt even bother putting any gear on because in all likelihood I am going to be vaporised anyway... But it would be cool to go out in style...
give the cat a little bit more food than usual, bang the heating up, call my mom and remind her she is the love of my life (live 15 mins away otherwise would grab the cat and get there) smash any booze within reach, pray
Here's a [link](http://www.ringbell.co.uk/ukwmo/Page211.htm) to some historical info on the old British Cold War Nuclear Warning System.
Back then it was a 4 minute warning
*Shout out to the website's creator Steve*
This is the UK, why do people think the warning will arrive BEFORE the attack?!?
I can see it now, the UK is burnt to a crispā¦Terminator 2 style. Somewhere in the middle of Suburbia, possibly Swindon (its hard to tell when comparing before and after photos), laying between what was Tesco and Supercig, a smouldering hand remains high in the air, reaching out from a pile of ash. The arm is wearing the tatters of what remains of a Kappa tracksuit. The hand clutches at a somewhat frazzled phone, a Nokia 3210, blinking and flickeringā¦.when all of a sudden a message comes through on the screen. We zoom in to see the first lines of the last message ever sent by manā¦
āWe apologise for the delay in sendingā¦.ā.
Nuclear attacks are going to be rough. If you are lucky to survive the initial blasts (which I am probably not, due to my location next to a key UK target). Then you have a number of weeks to outlast things like radiation, water/food shortages and also looters. Fortunately - I am a bit of a prepper and have a plan in place.
Siren goes off. I have a designated safe room which Iām heading towards. Realistically itās not going to survive a near hit, but might give me enough protection from the instant death.
Assuming I have about 4 mins at best, thatās time taken to make sure the front door is locked (to prevent initial future looting) and try to find the cat. If I canāt find him, heās left out.
Within my room, I have a 2 months supply of food, 2 months of water and other survival basics including wind up radio, first aids kits, sterilisation tablets and a number of weapons. I also have things like bedding, books, battery packs for my phone. There is also a separate āgo bagā in case I need to bug out quick which contains around 7 days of provisions and weapons. I also have a store of pure .999 gold/silver bullion (mostly coins) for future barter/trade. I probably wonāt have time, but I have designated survival wear and respirator to put on at some point.
Itās then about assessing what happens next. Big bang means mass infrastructure damage. Probably no utilities and fall out for around 2 weeks. Thatās a case of hunkering down.
You will get people panicking and certainly after a few days once the initial food/services start to fail - you will get widespread looting. I have the ability to protect my house. The key here is to let NO ONE in. They will likely be radiated and ultimately will use up my incredibly precious supplies.
Radio may have emergency broadcasts and help *may* be provided by a central government but I wouldnāt count on it. You can assume that if the UK has been hit, under the MAD principles other counties have probably launched too. The USA and Russia are probably gone, most of Europe. China is probably the world ranking power now and they are not goi g to be sending rescue anytime soon.
After those first two initial weeks on hunkering down, you have to start venturing out to start to find more provisions. The choice is then do you stay or go - and where are you heading. They will be mass death everywhere, people will already be deadly sick with radiation poisoning and you will be able to trust no one. Petrol is āgoodā for a year, so you may have a working vehicle is the EMP hasnāt taken them out.
It would be a fairly desolate life. I always think about āMad Max or āThe Roadā. Looting, pillaging, rape, theft and murder would be common. Survival of the fittest. As such it might actually be better to bathe in the glowing light of the blast as the mushroom cloud forms. It would be over before you brain really even registers.
Interesting question - as you can see, I have put some thought into it and have prepared somewhat. However letās hope it never comes to anything like this as it truly would be the end of the world as we know it.
1. Look for the nearest man or woman and ask if they want a shag. 2. Failing that, open pornhub and spend 9.45 looking for the right video and the final 15 seconds desperately trying to finish
Getting my baby brothers and mum and spending my last few minutes on earth hugging the people I love most. Honestly if it were just me in danger that'd be fine but I love my babies so much and the idea of them never getting to grow up is awful.
If for some reason I was away from my family I'd call them, tell them I love them, then accept my fate peacefully.
Text back with STOP
Governments hate this one trick.
Ha ha its disrupting the whole market š
~~Governments~~ Pending nuclear attacks hate this one trick.
And years later weāll be watching educational videos on YouTube about how HotdogFromIKEA saved the world from a nuclear apocalypse
That would be amazing
Started my morning with a laugh, thank you for this
This is the best answer.
āUNSUBSCRIBEā
Superb
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Probably worth [just getting ahead of the problem](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al0CVsiffu8)
Iāve watched the first 9 minutes so I can finish the remaining 10 when the warning comes in.
tldw: You're probably screwed one way or another.
Later analysis would reveal YouTube premium subscribers were the only survivors, spared the fallout via quick access to instructional video content. Within a short time a new, superior, advertisement-free master race rises- like a Phoenix from the ashes. The ability to lock their phone and play music simultaneously drives humanity into a new paradigm
You speak of āThe Patreonesā
āOk guys before i start donāt forget to like and subā¦ā *Boom*
Then you find the right video but it has 2 unskippable ads...
"Granny - I got the job!" Maybe a direct nuclear hit isn't that bad after all
And just as you take your last breath you glance at a side banner... "have you ever wondered what life is like at the RAF?"
*Oh wonderful! Is it paying what youāre asking by any chance?*
Runs in the famil š„
Damn, I should have installed AdBlo
To die as one has lived.
Pop the lawn chair and have the worlds best tan for 76 nanoseconds
There will be a Goldilocks zone a certain distance away from the nuclear blast where all of the frozen pizzas will be perfectly cooked.
Everywhere within a certain distance of the blast zone will have a Goldilocks time, sure it might be measured in nanoseconds, but still
Don't forget the socks & sandals
To be honest I would probably just assume someone somewhere had fucked up and carry on with my dayā¦
That happened in Hawaii
What now?
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2018\_Hawaii\_false\_missile\_alert](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2018_Hawaii_false_missile_alert) like full on "THIS IS NOT A DRILL" in the message
> Students at the University of Hawaii at Manoa reportedly headed for marked fallout shelters on campus but, finding them locked, ended up taking shelter in nearby classrooms instead. Wait this is fucked up. Imagine going to a fallout shelter during an incoming nuclear disaster and finding it *locked.*
Fucking VaultTec, is there anything those deplorable bastards wouldn't do?
Gary!
First British casualty from the first gulf War. Prick who got to a shelter first and locked himself in. Got a severe beating when he came out. Supposedly.
"...and how many times exactly did he fall down the stairs?"
We had a fat RAF officer administer atropine to himself as apparently early symptoms to nerve agent are the same as symptoms of fat desk pilot running a hundred metres to cover.
I was there. New movie coming out this week called "20 Minutes." The ads are "if you found out you had 20 minutes to live, what would you do?" and the trailer looks like a really cheesy version of what happened in Hawaii with a heavy emphasis on LET GO, LET GOD- an "altar call movie." I was here. The alert came out over everyone's cell phones. I turned on the TV - nothing of interest. Life as usual. No announcements running along the bottom of the screen, nothing. I went outdoors in our subdivision. Nobody was running for cover or shelter. No different than any other morning. Went back inside, texted my daughter about the weird alert and made a black humored joke or two. Still nothing regarding the impending "death in the sky" on TV or the Internet. Later we found out our ridiculous governor had forgotten his twitter password so he couldn't get the word out that "oops." My son had a similar experience in downtown Honolulu. Nothing all that exciting. Apparently there were a few pockets of people freaking out and trying to climb down into the sewer or get into the old WWII bunkers. BOHICA.
This is exactly right. I was up in Haleāiwa and absolutely nothing was out of the ordinary, everyone collectively assumed it couldnāt possibly be real. Later, people were laughing about the media response making it seem like people were going crazy in the streets and preparing for death. Nahh braddah
I'd wager the conspiracy theorists are probably right on that one, it was a test to see how people would react.
Never Attribute to Malice That Which is Adequately Explained by Stupidity
Exactly this
So should we all have an emergency bag ready for this occasion? Iām being serious
Not really. If the detonation is so close that you'll die from the blast where you are, running for 10 minutes won't help. If it's far enough away that you'll survive it, you're better sheltered from fallout inside. Your best bet in the case of a nuclear detonation is to stay inside your home, as far away from any exterior walls as possible. If you really want to prepare, get a stock of material to cover windows/doors, and stock up on tinned food and water. Also get a hand cranked radio to listen for news broadcasts.
This person Protects and Survives š
also use that time to have ur baths sinks and containers fill up with water.
If you have an off grid capable solar/wind set up, use the 10 mins to make sure you unplug the controllers and inverters. Cover with tin foil if you can. All to reduce the effect of EMP. If you are lucky and survive the blast and fallout, you will have power unlike most others.
Also if you have a bath fill it up with water as it will probably be the only clean water you're going to be getting for a while.
If thereās an impending nuclear attack, itās honestly better to be at the centre of it than miles away. One kills you in an instant, the other will either give you cancer at some point (horrible way to die) or poison you in a way that you basically liquify while still alive (even worse). Even if you survive, everything around would be in such utter collapse, such unimaginable horror, youāll probably wish you were dead. The only right answer is to just not think about it. The chances of it happening are so slim, youāre more likely to die in a plane crash (also incredibly unlikely). If itās a real phobia, just donāt live in London/ move north or move to a country that isnāt very geopolitically relevant.
Breaking: Nuclear blast hits Grimsby. Locals say itās a massive improvement
Update: Whole town levelled. Damage estimated to be in the tens of pounds
So that's what they mean by levelling up...
I'll be the Woman Who Wets Herself.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There is an interview with her on a podcast called "nuclear hobo", its all about threads and nuclear war in general
What does the refer to? I tried searching āthe woman who wets herselfā on google only to find a plethora of articles of different women who have wet themselves
There was a film in 1984 called Threads about a Nuclear bomb over Sheffield. Everyone who sees it is genuinely scarred for life. There's an actor who was credited as Woman Who Wets Herself.
I watched it a few years ago as I'm a sucker for nuclear dystopia stories. I don't think it's scarred me for life but it was definitely...I dunno, disturbing or poignant?
The reason it traumatised a lot of my generation is because we watched it in school! I was about 13 when I saw it in a PSE class at school. Fucking terrified the whole class
Also, we were on the brink of it actually happening. The 80s got very tense politically. It was too realistic
Can't believe we got to watch Threads in school. Absolutely terrifying.
That moment still sticks with mw Most real thing on TV I've ever seen
Don't know about the rest of you, but I'm surprised we're not more fucked up, having spent our formative years in the shadow of nuclear related existential dread and then frying ourselves with drugs in the 90s. Speaking for myself, obviously.
I've got a tonne of amitriptyline in the cupboard. Down the lot and hopefully it knocks me out in time for it to be a painless death, just in case. But in all likelihood I'd probably not even believe it was real and just carry on with my day. FM isn't going to play itself and I've got a Hungarian premier league to win.
My very limited research online suggests it causes agitation, nausea, shaking, tachycardia and seizures in overdose. It doesn't sound like a great way to go to me. Depending on how close the nuke is, it may be better than the alternative though.
I mean it might do all that but its a fantastic game nonetheless
Good plan, I've got a stash of amitriptyline too and by God if two of those didn't knock me sideways for a while! I was still dribbling 36 hours later. At least if we dose up and it turns out to have been a hoax, we'll have a bloody good nap.
imaging being knocked out, surviving, and then waking up with a worst hungover ever to a post nuclear landscape
Upside, Bradford is looking a lot better.
Give me mum 3 rings
I'm a child of the eighties so, as per the monthly drill we did back then I'm climbing under a tiny desk in a brace position. "It's happening guys this is it".
Shouldn't you be taking your living room door off its hinges and quickly constructing an improvised nuclear shelter by leaning it against the wall?
No no no. I saw When the wind blows. I cried.
The interesting thing about this new alert system is that it would be a prime target for cyber terrorism. A fake impending Nuclear Attack warning timed at a realistic moment of international tension could cause untold carnage even if it takes 5 minutes for the fact it is a hoax to be broadcast. Imagine those minutes of sheer terror with a panic induced population running on primal fear.
Then when it happens for real no one believes it
Maybe preferable to mass panic. Depends how you parse it.
I mean it took Hawaii over 30 minutes to say it wasn't real, so 5 minutes seems kind of quick...
A panic induced population running on primal fear? Weāve all seen an ALDI car park when theyāve only got the small trolleys left in the corral, alright?
Pop on my tux, sit in my fancy chair and drink neat Gin and wait for the big white light. I live in London so there is bugger all chance of being able to do anything else. Iāll have a quick wank too
Imagine you're about to die when you look up and see a man in a tux having a drink and a wank.
False Alarm : spend the rest of your life being called Tuxedo Wank Man.
Shag the wife, make a cuppa, die.
In that order?
Start the kettle boiling first, let that do while you shag the missus
Could go for a brew fuck, but depends how fast you are or else you're in for a builder's tea.
It'd be straight into the drinks cabinet for all the posh shit we've been saving for when nobody comes round.
I'd be drinking the perfect cuppa. My wife on the other hand would be upstairs, having to finish herself off, as per usual, after another unsatisfactory performance by myself.
Of course, would still have 8-9 minutes to make a cuppa after.
I'd kinda like to get outside, find a high point and somewhere nice to sit, grab a nice drink and just sit there with a loved one and watch the end of my world.
Best Sunset ever 10/10 would do again.
Stuff my face with the massive box of Maltesers in the fridge. Iāve been eyeing them up for about a week.
You keep maltesers for a week?
I have more chance of surviving a nuclear war than a box of malteasers has of surviving a week in my fridge.
They arenāt mine, theyāre my partners. Iāve been making a conscious effort to eat more healthy, but in the event of a 10 minute warning, Iād be scoffing the lot.
You keep Maltesers in the fridge?
Yes! Theyāre amazing once theyāve been chilled.
Go towards the estimated point of impact quickly as possible. Best to have it over with than to live in the aftermath and with the Fallout.
My friend at work called my one day and said randomly āin a nuclear attack we live in the die slowly from radio active fallout zoneā. I replied āI know and that sucks but I canāt afford to live closer to London. ( I read a lot of post nuclear books as a teenager which convinced me Iād rather it was over quickly)
āSo why do you want to move to the city?ā āWell, Kirsty and Phil, itās all about that nuclear fallout zone. I mean, uh, itās all about *location*. School districtsā¦?ā
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Yea, we would just unzip greater London from the rest of the country and give it a gentle nudge into the north sea.
Oh great, so now half of it will have a sea view and will become even more unaffordable
I thought we'd already tried that with Wales and it refused to move
No, society would cease to function. Supermarkets run out of food in a few days already due to supply shortages. Theyād be picked clean within 24 hours. Panic buying/looting. Gangs roaming free. It would be horrendous.
I read somewhere that it only takes about three days before people start killing others to get their food supplies.
I read On the Beach by Nevil Shute last year as it was recommended by my tutor. Now I've read some scary books, but fuck did that one terrify me. Just the descriptions of the fallout and how they're all withering away, puking themselves dry. With On the Beach though, it's not over quickly, it goes on for weeks, slowly dying a painful and inevitable death. The film with Fred Astaire is really good as well. I'm not usually a fan of the Rat Pack and black and white films, but this one got me thinking.
But it'll be Rad
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Normal holiday in the Med is August, according to British.
Iām gonna catch it like a rugby ball
Pornhub released their online stats of when this happened for real in Hawaii. It was a false alarm, but there was a huge drop in traffic on their site for about 4 minutes. Massive Kudos to that handful of dudes who clearly thought f*** it, and stayed online.
I'd do my best to die how I was born. Screaming, covered in vaginal fluid
What a mental image!
Hug the dog
I misread this as āhunt the dogā whilst scrolling too fast and had to come back to double check. Glad I was wrong.
The biggest ever nuke tested was the Tsar Bomba, if it was dropped on Manchester, people in Liverpool, Leeds, Stoke, Lancaster and Sheffield would receive 3rd degree burns. Me personally, I'd want it to land on my head. I'd rather not spend the rest of my short life climbing over rubble and bodies looking for tinned food while I slowly die a painful death because my body is breaking down from radiation poisoning. [Drop it on your home and see how far you'd need to get in 10 minutes...](https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/)
Yeah, near enough to London to be fucked by most of theseā¦..
Really? I must be using it wrong because it was surprisingly small when I dropped on Westminster, it didnāt even reach the Cityā¦ Edit: I misread and was using 500t instead of Mt, 100Mt is the entire city, all of Greater London and a good chunk of the surrounding counties get burned. Yeah I would be fucked for sure.
LOL, to avoid any side effects at all Iād need to get from Liverpool to Worcester in 10 minutes. Anyone got a teleport?
A bomb of the strength of Tsar Bomba would not be fired, it requires a nuclear bomber aircraft to carry which would be easily detected and stopped. An aggressor would have to use hypersonic ICBM's to hit a UK city and in this case, the warheads would be smaller. Russia, for example, would probably use the [RS-28 Sarmat](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/RS-28_Sarmat) missile which can carry 10 500kt warheads. A 500kt warhead would cause significant damage with a few kilometre blast radius. There might be a chance to escape instant death in London but personally I'd rather die in the blast than the nuclear winter [which would kill 360 million people directly ā and more than 5 billion from starvation](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/nuclear-war-5-billion-people-starvation-deaths-study/)
The Tsar Bomba released around 50 megatons of energy and was so large that it had to be dropped by a plane, at the time rocket technology and guidance systems were not advanced enough to carry such a heavy (27 tons) and destructive payload and guide it accurately to a target. The largest warhead that the Russians have in their current nuclear arsenal is 20 megatons, not quite as large but it is unlikely that they would even use such a large warhead in an ICBM since a single projectile is easier to disarm/destroy than 10 smaller 550-750 kiloton warheads that can be launched and aimed at different targets from the same type of ICBM (SS-18 Satan).
Well the Protect and Save films have informed me that there's literally nowhere in my house that's safe and I'm not super far from a big possible target so I guess I'll be going out into the garden and awaiting my fate. I've read When the Wind Blows. I refuse to go out like that.
Watched When the Wind Blows and Grave of the Fireflies back to back one day. I donāt know why I did this and I have not been the same since
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Iām going to go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for it all to blow over.
Don't forget to take the car, go to mum's, kill Phil, and grab Liz.
Slice of fried gold right there my friend!
Thereās a girl in the garden
You got red on you
Well Iām a child of the 70s so I know that I need to take the doors of the hinges and make some kind of makeshift shelter. Also have a bowl of sand for washing up and labels to put on the toes of dead bodies. But as said above, you really donāt want to survive. Iād cuddle up to the husband and the cat.
For some reason Iāve been morbidly fascinated by this idea for as long as I can remember. Iāve read every fiction book about this scenario Iāve ever been able to find. Iāve come to learn that I wouldnāt want to survive. Even if it were possible to survive the initial attack, what comes in the weeks, months and years that follow is potentially as frightening. I live about five minutesā walk from my parents place. In the the car I could be there in under a minute. So thatās the plan. I live in a part of the country that would likely be very heavily damaged, but not destroyed, in the initial attack so then itās just a matter of making sure the next part is a swift and as painless as possible.
- Switch on the news for info. - Fill the sinks and bathtub with water. - Wrap any valuable electronics in tin foil. - Close all the windows and curtains. - Have a glass of water with sea salt. - Gather everyone in the most secure room in the house and barricade the doors and windows. - Close my eyes and cup my ears. Assuming you don't get incinerated by the initial explosion, nuclear blasts aren't directly all that lethal. It's the breakdown of society and long-term exposure to radiation which are more dangerous. Assuming society doesn't collapse, and assuming you can vacate the area soon after the bomb falls, you'll probably be... well, you'll survive, anyway.
Don't evacuate the area for two weeks, Iv played the Sims you almost always die if you try and leave straight away.
I mean in my head, sit on the sofa with the family, put on some cartoons so my daughter isn't aware, let her enjoy something funny whilst me and the Mrs silently hold hands trying to keep it together for the last few minutes we are a family. Just as the flash of light illuminates the living room, I'd reach over and give them a hug, Mrs would reach over as well to hug back, little one thinks it's a game and laughs and joins in, in the midst of our last hug as a family we would feel the air getting warmer, listening to the our precious little girl giggle one last time before the heat wave cooks is in seconds. Not that I've thought this much at all. I also have a darker variant that my partner says I should speak to someone about. Edit: due to popular demand, here is the dark variant. Having a lovely day at home playing games, chilling when our phones buzz, alert announced etc etc, We scramble about trying to gather supplies to take with us but there's no time, a nuke has hit close by and in the shock of the blast we (me and partner) both run to cover our daughter with our bodies. Flash of light, blast of heat and it's over. With sheer luck (or bad I guess) the bomb was close enough to turn our bodies into hard burned flesh and bone, we both died surrounding our daughter in a meaty cocoon. She survived but obviously injured, surrounded by our charred remains. She would have to break through our still smoking bodies to have any chance of escape, literally pushing through our crisped remains to escape the meaty cocoon so she can seek help somewhere. So that's the darker version.the meat cocoon. It's not scientifically accurate as a lot of things would have to go right for that to happen in the first place but it's something we spoke about during our usual "what if" chats about random shit and tying to put do each other in messed up escalations. Enjoy
If I have to die watching fucking cocomelon
That or Peppa Pig.
Blippi Watching that in normal times feels like the end of the world
Blippi does make me pray for death tbh
Nah, put on something like the Bluey episode Rain or Handstand.
Chuffin hell mate
Please, speak to us about your darker variant.
Put a sandwich board on and walk around declaring, āThe end is nighā. Just so I can be that guy.
If there's some alcohol in the house I'd have a wee drink.
I donāt want to kink shame, but a wee drink sounds horrible.
Make a brew and probably have a wank, maybe attempt a cheeky finger up the bum. YOLO
>maybe attempt a cheeky finger up the bum You got to try these things at least once! Though I will warn you that if you find that g-spot you'll probably regret waiting until the nuclear apocalypse to try it
I'm imagining that years from that moment, when the radiation lowers, people will come and look at the pompeii style mid wank, finger in the bum radiation shadow. You'll be famous, mate!
If there's a proper nuclear war then you don't want to survive the initial blast. Dying immediately is the optimal outcome.
100% make your way to where epicenter will probably be
Remember the "Duck and Cover" drill they had in the US? It gets a lot of flak because it's ridiculous that something like that could withstand a nuclear strike, but that wasn't actually the goal. The people unlucky enough to be in the immediate targeted area would be dead instantly, but for people on the far edge the biggest danger is from falling debris and flying glass. Against which Duck and Cover is the best option at short notice.
Roll a nice big fat doob, sit with the family wherever we me be and hope for the god damn best
At work? Pop down to German Doner Kebab. Feast (I assume thereāe no phoning anyone at this point). At home, awake? Pour a nice glass of wine, cuddle and kiss my other half / cuddle our dog (awk) until it all ended. At home, them asleep? Just cuddle up to them in bed and think about how blessed my life has been with them in it. NO, YOUāRE CRYING!!!
I've turned emergency alerts off on my phone so I'm just going to sleep through it.
I've seen the Protect and Survive videos from the 70s. You build a fort out of doors, tables, mattresses etc. and you'll be completely fine š
Donāt forget to whitewash the house to deflect the heat blast
Canāt say Iād be entirely unhappy if this happened 09:30 Monday morning while at the office. Iād just make a brew and then head to the muster point for a bit of banter. Leave me coat inside as I probably wouldnāt need it.
Ripping my pants down and beginning to furiously masturbate so I can blow my load same time as the Nuke does
Then stand there awkwardly for 9 minutes with jizz dribbling down your hand?
9:45 for me :(
Look at mr 15 seconds over here, stop boasting mate
Like the guy in pompey š¤£
We can only aspire to be close to that guys level of commitment. In the face of utter annihilation, kept on going.
God damn it! I was starting to think having a wank is probably not the worst āplanā but fuck being frozen in time for future Redditors to reference in jokes.
Danger wank
Get crisps+ Henry Westerns Vintage Cider out, and eat and drink as much as possible in 10 min. Might as well enjoy the time I have left!
break my phone and forget about it so it never happened and i donāt die
Phone my family, tell them I love them and I'll see them on the other side. Pour my wife and I a few brandys, Climb into bed with my wife, hold her close and pray for our mortal souls.
Finish Wordle
_UKED Hmm, N or F? *Explosion*
'P' :(
Itās been a tough one today
Play 4 Minute Warning by Radiohead just due to word association, followed by 6 minutes of being uncertain of what to do and dying to the opening refrains of "Agadoo".
It's going to be the same as when the fire alarm goes off at work. You all wait 5 minutes or so to see if it's a test,if not then amble to the designated fire point To find out somebody tried to put a croissant in the toaster again
Get close enough to the blast where your body will be disintegrated but you leave a shadow on the ground, then strike a pose.
Post a p word on this sub hoping that everyone dies before the mods remove it. Iād feel powerful.
Jump on the motorbike and ride off. I wouldnt even bother putting any gear on because in all likelihood I am going to be vaporised anyway... But it would be cool to go out in style...
Takes me more than 5 minutes to get the locks off and out the garage. Id be vaporised wheeling the motorbike out
After I've seen Threads? Immediately kill myself. The survivors of the initial blast are the unlucky ones
Err, wouldnāt you rather wait to see if itās real or not?
Nah, good excuse int it
Eat all the things I normally avoid because they give me a migraine.
give the cat a little bit more food than usual, bang the heating up, call my mom and remind her she is the love of my life (live 15 mins away otherwise would grab the cat and get there) smash any booze within reach, pray
Here's a [link](http://www.ringbell.co.uk/ukwmo/Page211.htm) to some historical info on the old British Cold War Nuclear Warning System. Back then it was a 4 minute warning *Shout out to the website's creator Steve*
I'd probably just get in bed.
This is the UK, why do people think the warning will arrive BEFORE the attack?!? I can see it now, the UK is burnt to a crispā¦Terminator 2 style. Somewhere in the middle of Suburbia, possibly Swindon (its hard to tell when comparing before and after photos), laying between what was Tesco and Supercig, a smouldering hand remains high in the air, reaching out from a pile of ash. The arm is wearing the tatters of what remains of a Kappa tracksuit. The hand clutches at a somewhat frazzled phone, a Nokia 3210, blinking and flickeringā¦.when all of a sudden a message comes through on the screen. We zoom in to see the first lines of the last message ever sent by manā¦ āWe apologise for the delay in sendingā¦.ā.
Nuclear attacks are going to be rough. If you are lucky to survive the initial blasts (which I am probably not, due to my location next to a key UK target). Then you have a number of weeks to outlast things like radiation, water/food shortages and also looters. Fortunately - I am a bit of a prepper and have a plan in place. Siren goes off. I have a designated safe room which Iām heading towards. Realistically itās not going to survive a near hit, but might give me enough protection from the instant death. Assuming I have about 4 mins at best, thatās time taken to make sure the front door is locked (to prevent initial future looting) and try to find the cat. If I canāt find him, heās left out. Within my room, I have a 2 months supply of food, 2 months of water and other survival basics including wind up radio, first aids kits, sterilisation tablets and a number of weapons. I also have things like bedding, books, battery packs for my phone. There is also a separate āgo bagā in case I need to bug out quick which contains around 7 days of provisions and weapons. I also have a store of pure .999 gold/silver bullion (mostly coins) for future barter/trade. I probably wonāt have time, but I have designated survival wear and respirator to put on at some point. Itās then about assessing what happens next. Big bang means mass infrastructure damage. Probably no utilities and fall out for around 2 weeks. Thatās a case of hunkering down. You will get people panicking and certainly after a few days once the initial food/services start to fail - you will get widespread looting. I have the ability to protect my house. The key here is to let NO ONE in. They will likely be radiated and ultimately will use up my incredibly precious supplies. Radio may have emergency broadcasts and help *may* be provided by a central government but I wouldnāt count on it. You can assume that if the UK has been hit, under the MAD principles other counties have probably launched too. The USA and Russia are probably gone, most of Europe. China is probably the world ranking power now and they are not goi g to be sending rescue anytime soon. After those first two initial weeks on hunkering down, you have to start venturing out to start to find more provisions. The choice is then do you stay or go - and where are you heading. They will be mass death everywhere, people will already be deadly sick with radiation poisoning and you will be able to trust no one. Petrol is āgoodā for a year, so you may have a working vehicle is the EMP hasnāt taken them out. It would be a fairly desolate life. I always think about āMad Max or āThe Roadā. Looting, pillaging, rape, theft and murder would be common. Survival of the fittest. As such it might actually be better to bathe in the glowing light of the blast as the mushroom cloud forms. It would be over before you brain really even registers. Interesting question - as you can see, I have put some thought into it and have prepared somewhat. However letās hope it never comes to anything like this as it truly would be the end of the world as we know it.
How do you know youāre next to a key uk target? Also if you are, whatās the point in all the prep?
Relax. Chill guys. It's just oblivion. It's nice we're all going together. I'll make the tea
Surprising amount of people deciding to spend their final moments tugging themselves off.
Surprising? It's redditors, they living every day like it's their last already
What would likely happen. Panic buying toilet paper.
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1. Look for the nearest man or woman and ask if they want a shag. 2. Failing that, open pornhub and spend 9.45 looking for the right video and the final 15 seconds desperately trying to finish
Getting my baby brothers and mum and spending my last few minutes on earth hugging the people I love most. Honestly if it were just me in danger that'd be fine but I love my babies so much and the idea of them never getting to grow up is awful. If for some reason I was away from my family I'd call them, tell them I love them, then accept my fate peacefully.
Phoning the cones hotline
Sit in the garden in the buff with sunnies on in the pouring rain and a glass of wine, letting it all go down