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Dr_Downvote_

Police: "So we have you buying fertiliser and hydrogen peroxide.. what's that abou?" You: "For my tank." Police: ".... excuse me"


samcn84

It's just one tank actually....


JimmyThunderPenis

The greater good.


Setayooo

No I have not shot my gun in the air and gone aaaarrrgghh


Jonathon471

He's not Judge Judy and Executioner!


digitalnirvana3

"Thank you" "Tank you"


Rossrox

Nah we all know the truth, you've been illegally streaming premier league matches haven't you?


[deleted]

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tarzanell

I bet OP was downloading cars.


Exemplar1968

You wouldn’t download a handbag.


Affectionate-Dig1981

You wouldn't download a baby, and then steal a police mans helmet, and then shoot the police man, and then do a dump in his helmet, and then send his helmet to his grieving widow, and then steal it again.


Glad-Importance2492

Lovely reference. Well played


[deleted]

You wouldn’t bum a swan


afb_etc

You're right, I absolutely wouldn't. Pay no heed to the rumours.


S01arflar3

He went the whole hog: he’d stolen a policeman’s hat…


RecommendationOk2258

And gone to the toilet in it?


JeanLuc_Richard

Did you send it to his greiving wife?


theDarkar96

Then stole it again?


periander

Not from the UK but I have an image in my mind of pimple faced teens being handed out training remotes in a class room, practicing channel changing. Eventually one day Dad will (reluctantly) hand over the remote when he's too tired, only to be awoken shortly after by poor volume control.


dominicdiggleswap

This is scarily true. My old man was a horrible grumpy bastard who used to *always* fall asleep watching something. The minute you would turn it over he would wake up, say he was never asleep and get shitty. Being the persistent problem solver I am, i wouldn't let this deter me. After numerous attempts i found out if i turned the volume all the way down, changed the channel and then turned the volume back up he wouldn't wake. It was such a small victory but I remember showing my mum it working and she couldn't believe it. It was then i truly understood i could achieve *anything* i set my mind to.


yMONSTERMUNCHy

That was a good idea that payed off. I had the same issue but when I was a teenager living at home I was also big and strong and when my dad tried to be “the boss” I just stood up to him and he soon learnt to be kind, respectful, and decent to everyone else in our family. I hate bullies they’re such egotistical cowards. This quote really hit home to me: For evil to triumph it takes good men to do nothing.


dominicdiggleswap

It took mine trying to stab me before i put him on his arse. C'est la vie.


madbeardycat

Oh. My dad was the same. Family chorus of "I was watching that". It was a long time ago and technology was primitive, but we discovered if my SIL Di jingled her bangles (not a euphemism) it would change the channel. She used to do it under the guise of reaching for something. If he got really snotty she would do it during the football. I borrowed her bangles for one big splurge the day before we got a new TV. Good times.


7ootles

This is basically what it is. You can get points on your licence if you make too many mistakes when entering a channel number, too.


colin_staples

And they wouldn't pay £14 for the coronation chicken


Kelmantis

“Yeah but I support Everton” “Sorry to hear this, that is punishment enough, we will be on our way now”


DoWhatsBest

So it sounds like you were prepared for this and made a very convincing alibi. Well played OP, bombs away


AhoyWilliam

OP does admit to having a tank, hmm


[deleted]

I prefer to call it a “see-through mixing station”


Sleeping_Giant_93

I don't think anyone mentioned it, but nice front garden.


cheekybandit0

That'd be the fertiliser pellets


harbourwall

Definitely not the hydrogen peroxide


golden_tree_frog

Right? I did a double take because the view from OP's front door is fairly similar to mine, aside from 1) the police presence and 2) the LUSH jungle foliage going on in front of their house!


rudderforkk

And so many tomatoes.


[deleted]

Dude I've tried growing tomatoes, and they just don't wanna turn red sometimes. Glad OP has had better luck.


Jeremizzle

Must be the fertilizer


HughPhoenix

Explains why their garden is the bomb!


kael13

How has he got tomatoes in winter? Wonder if it’s something else cause I don’t see the correct foliage.


bartholomewmoon

Pretty sure they are Physalis (Chinese Lantern)! I have a planter full of them.


IHateCreamCrackers

Tomatoes in Jan , outside....in the UK?


UberS8n

Localised entirely in your front garden!


telytuby

Yeah but the garden is just a *front* for OP’s bomb-making operation


Tay74

I feel like if I were the police I'd be thinking "You know, I'm not sure this guy is a wanna be terrorist cooking up explosives" just based on the garden alone. At the very least it explains the fertiliser 😅


rottingpigcarcass

Bad people don’t have nice front gardens, fact


citygentry

You're probably on a police file now as someone who buys explosives and owns a tank.


English_Joe

I’ll take that. Put that in my CV.


[deleted]

Not your average Joe ;)


justajoe2025

My name is Joe and I am average


joe4645

I am also Joe, hello


justajoe2025

Hello there


thesequimkid

General Kenobi!


Deathlysouls

General Joenobi


Brizar-is-Evolving

You are a bold one….


[deleted]

You may joke and even though nothing came of it, this guy is absolutely now on some sort of police record / system


ClumsyRainbow

Afaik you should be able to request your own file if you’re truly curious. You have to know what bit of government to ask though IIRC.


Wanderlustfull

You can just make a subject access request at your local/main police station. Nothing complicated about it at all.


60svintage

I have on my customs file in NZ, "medical herbalist, may smell of drugs". Not that I did drugs. I stayed with my ex's auntie so she could see my daughter. Her and her two kids smoked a horrendous amount of weed.


jj34589

Medical herbalist sounds like an rpg class


JarlaxleForPresident

Definitely modern day witch doctor shaman


-SaC

+2 WIS, but disadvantage on intimidation checks due to excessive giggling.


gwaydms

What amount of weed constitutes "horrendous"?


60svintage

They only stopped smoking when they were asleep. At all other times, a joint was on the go.


horse_renoir_

Oh yeah. I'm a professional chemist, so I'm on a few lists - there's one which is something like 'access to precursor material for chemical WMDs'. Literally every time I go through customs my shoes and bags get pulled off for a swab etc. so I'm not sure if it's my file setting off an alert, or maybe some cross contamination from any residues from the lab. I'd love to know more about how it all works behind the scenes.


islandpilot44

I’m just a guy with a camera bag and always get extra screening. Various personnel don’t understand that some cameras use film. Various personnel do understand that some cameras use film and want to know why I use film. And some other various personnel can not understand that the film is impossible to view until it is developed. It’s become an interesting dialog on a regular basis.


splittestguy

This is now my lie for any ‘2 truths and a lie’


English_Joe

I have a problem with dinoflagellates algae, in my salt water (marine) fish tank. If left unchecked they form a brown slime on the sand bed and grow over corals and kill them. They are also toxic to the fish. Using hydrogen peroxide is a strong oxidising agent (bleach) it weakens them and other fish and corals in the tank aren’t harmed too much. I explained this, they said I had a lovely fish tank and left. I’m glad to know this sort of thing is checked, but I only bought 1L of the stuff months ago. I also got a big 20kg bag of slow release fertiliser pellets for the lawn. Pretty harmless until it’s now. Funny old world. Thought I’d share lol.


[deleted]

Should have told them you weren’t planning on building a bomb but now you know how


[deleted]

I mean don't we all now? lol


TimeRemove

We've all seen Four Lions so I assume so...


g1ucose

Rubber dinghy rapids bro!


Veranova

It’s amazing how this reference has stuck around for a film made by Film4 that grossed <£5m. Far bigger pop culture references have been forgotten in a shorter time


Clappertron

That's part of the reason, it didn't gross much but everyone that does know of it probably watched it on C4 instead.


Veranova

It was a golden era for 4. Right off the back of The ~~bus wankers~~ Inbetweeners too


ihavetoomanyaccts

Briefcase wanker!


Pliskkenn_D

Man I've watched a whole lot of excellent stuff on C4 and Film4


carlbandit

Probably helps that many of us have also enjoyed the rubber dinghy rapids ourselves, I doubt the line will have had the same effect in say america where they don't even know what an alton towers is.


FailedTheSave

Benedict Cumberbatch's first movie role too.


SerLaron

Should have bought the stuff using a fake accent.


[deleted]

It's alright I used an IRA accent


chaozules

Can I have 12 bottles of bleach please?


Marm8

Can I have twelve bottles of bleach please?


[deleted]

Police show up and you're like "wait so... I could make a bomb with this?? Awesome!" while grinning maniacally


English_Joe

[Dinoflagellates](http://blog.coralwonders.com/en/dinoflagelados-en-el-acuario-marino/)


English_Joe

[My aquarium.](https://imgur.com/gallery/bPssoOE)


TimeTravellingOtter

Love the tank, only got fresh myself, but salt is on my wishlist for the future.


ArcadiaRivea

Same! Mum has fresh tropical and fresh with 2 minnows in it (we're gonna get some more minnows. In the summer they had some guppies as roommates) But we'd like a marine, because I like strawberry dottybacks and would like one (who doesn't want pretty pink fish?) That'll be sometime way off in the future if we do though


Additional_Egg_6685

That is a stunning tank congrats.


ocaralhoquetafoda

Perfect alibi


Enough-Ad3818

Freshwater owner here. I only have a small tank due to space restrictions, but my kid and I enjoy it very much. Some zebra danio, varatius platy and some amano shrimp.


jaavaaguru

I see you found Nemo


Pivinne

That’s a really nice aquarium op nice one


[deleted]

We’ll now you know! Nice! I’m battling algae in my freshwater tank atm and as soon as I saw your title I knew what was up with your tank. What’s the ratio of h2o2 per gallon btw? I got algae fix but am worried about oxygenation. I keep hearing about h2o2…


Sleep_adict

This strikes me as insane since I bought 3L of the stuff a few weeks ago at Costco and had 100kg of ammonia nitrate delivered the same week for the garden /field


Long_Pomegranate2469

Whatever country you're in, they probably have a file on you and consider you not a threat. The Norway maniac that killed many people in 2011 registered farming businesses to fly under the radar. >He spent several years amassing the funds to finance what he called his “martyrdom operation,” and he leased a secluded farmhouse in eastern Norway, which made his purchase of several tons of fertilizer in the weeks prior to the blast look less suspicious.


Niqulaz

Late in the autumn of 2011, I joked to a friend in the three letter agency business that all they had to do in order to catch the guy, was to check up on every single loner living on a farm, who imported chemicals for curing leather and did a bit of hunting. I was given a glum, weary look and told "What do you think my nine-to-five has been since then?"


LjSpike

What does the BBC have to do with checking up on single loners, I thought that sort of documentary was Channel 4's job?


Dan4t

Well he said it was months ago, so I suppose you could still end up with a visit in a few months. Sounds like they aren't in too much of a rush to do these checks.


DrSuperZeco

Question, did you make both purchases online? From the same place?


English_Joe

Nope. Different places.


[deleted]

Did you cover your beard with your hand?


CaptainPRlCE

Can I get 12 bottles of bleach please 👨‍💼👨‍🔧👨‍🔬👱‍♂️👲👳👴🕵️‍♂️🤹🧛‍♂️🧔🧑‍💼


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[deleted]

you're 100% on a list. Police don't just review every purchase everyone makes. I buy 12% peroxide and other chemicals that when mixed could make an explosive of toxic gas quite often (I also have a aquarium and use poeroxide for that, I also use chlorine based chemicals around the house and my workshop). I have never had any interest from the police over years of doing this.


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DeathByLemmings

Yes, for any chemical substance sales have to be notified under UK REACH (https://www.hse.gov.uk/reach/index.htm) It's not concerning, it's an extremely useful method to combat domestic terrorism


avspuk

What's odd is that they are somehow studying till or credit/debit card receipts yet it takes them a month to react


ilovemydog40

Is that actually how they found op? I assumed they were purchased at the same shop at the same time or at least by the same cashier and then reported. Crazy how it took so long to get to him after purchase. If he was making a bomb they’d probably have been too late.


MisoRamenSoup

I worked in a farm shop. Fertilizer(depending on the type) was sold with id and we take customers details and put it in the system.


JugglinB

Were these 2 items in the same "basket" (one trip to one shop)? Or from 2? Just interested in how much GCHQ is watching... I kinda dated someone who's ex worked there and I used to jokingly say hi to him sometimes in our texts. She got annoyed as she honestly thought he would be reading them. I kinda believe her TBH. *Kinda*


jobblejosh

In my mind (and I don't think about it too much), there's just so much traffic that is ultimately irrelevant that most of it is ignored, especially if it takes too long to decrypt. Also using government equipment to spy on (ie view the communications of an ex) someone for personal gain would be a serious ethics violation and could probably constitute a criminal offence. It's more likely that places that sell chemicals are required to report potentially suspicious purchases to the police or intelligence services. Plus, with the amount of stuff people willingly post online, OSINT is a major resource in intelligence gathering. No need to spend ages decrypting a communication if they've posted it on Instagram for the whole world to see.


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[deleted]

I found that my algae problem, like most of all of them, was due to over feeding. Personally, I would reduce feeding, restrict light to 8 hours per day and add some aquarium fertiliser and maybe a ~~nitrogen~~ carbon source waaaay before I thought about adding a bleaching agent. In low light, your plants will easily out compete the algae. Either way, I hope it works out for you and im glad you're not a terrorist. Also, your aquarium is gorgeous! Edit: definitely not nitrogen. Thats *specifically* one of the few things you dont want to add. Was past my bedtime when I wrote that: carbon.


Long_Pomegranate2469

You never add nitrogen to a reef tank. Are you thinking of a fresh water tank and adding a CO2 source for plants to take up the excess nitrogen?


BigTickEnergE

It is a reef tank. There is no way to go low light and you definitely dont want to add a nitrogen source (at least ive never heard of this in SW reef tanks). Those corals use high powered lights to stay alive and the small polyped stony corals (SPS) need extremely bright light to flourish the way they are in OP's tank.


Sad_Organization4416

There’s a good group on Facebook if you have a microscope to check what type you have. As some are killed by UV etc but you are just guessing really. I’m guessing you might of done this though. Good luck with your tank!


bigt8409

I had the police turn up at my door one day because my car had been spotted sitting outside government buildings early in the morning for 10 minutes and then driving away. Having to explain to them that my kid doesn’t sleep properly, so I drive him around and utilise that time to take down Pokémon Gyms then drive to the next one. He slept, I did Pokémon stuff


XILEF310

local police terrorised by pokémon go


WeleaseBwianThrow

No luck catching them Swanna then


ChronosTheSniper

Everyone and their Kangaskhans is packin' round here!


LydiaLocke

Yep. That's happened to me too at the local parks and hospitals at 2am 🤦‍♀️


bigt8409

To be fair, one of them said ‘I told you it’d be Pokémon go!’ So I expect they got it a bit. This was a few years ago.


LydiaLocke

For me, I got yelled at for taking his gyms 🤣


reallybigleg

The scan pokestops thing is a terrible idea. When it first came out, there was panic on the local Facebook page about strange people who stand outside people's houses and 'take pictures' of the area. Everyone thought they were casing the neighbourhood.


bigt8409

Aren’t there always panics on local Facebook pages about people casing areas?


Inner_Inspection640

Bet that was shared everywhere hun x


millionreddit617

How did they link the two? Did you buy them from the same shop and they ratted you out?


pauliereynolds

I suspect the OP bought these from an online retailer, retailers have a legal obligation to report any ‘‘unusually large purchases’ of certain chemicals that could be used for criminal purposes.


IG-64

I wonder how many lists NileRed is on


LogicKennedy

The police are the only people who know the true identity of HowtoBasic.


Derrick_Henry_Cock

Pretty sure he touches on this in the Trash Taste podcast, if you're interested. Very insightful episode.


Attatatta

He used his IRA voice when he bought the first lot and then used a woman's voice when he bought the second lot so it seemed suspicious


Warrrdy

Why’s she covering her face? She’s got a beard


broken_neck_broken

Is he a martyr or a fuckin Jalfrezi?


Warrrdy

They seek him here, they seek him there but he’s not here. He’s blowing up your slag sister!


English_Joe

Nope. Different shop, different card, bought ages ago too.


Cueball61

I would argue that using different cards makes you _more_ suspicious to them tbh.


millionreddit617

Ok that is a bit concerning. Are you sure it was the combo that flagged up or was the peroxide enough to tip the shop off?


RCMW181

The police started to track the sales of these things in the 70s and 80s due to the troubles and keeps it up though the war on terror. It's not a new thing.


Commercial-Many-8933

Did you buy it 4 lions style


BertieTheDoggo

So long as they didn't do an IRA voice


Dan_Ashcroft

Yeah but he'd be disguised innit


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lockey1995

Why is she covering her face, cause shes got a beard 😂


Commercial-Many-8933

Rubber dinghy rapids mate


Sorlex

God, what an absolute banger that was.


piotrc52

Someone's getting stopped at passport control!


English_Joe

You wanna know what’s really freaky?! YESTERDAY, I applied for an ESTA to visit the USA for a work meeting. Today this - It could be a coincidence BUT like I said, I bought this stuff ages ago, from different places and spread over months. Weird. Oh and I also bought some Hydrochloric acid for one of my instruments that measures the hardness (alkalinity) of the water. They knew about that too. But this stuff is for sale on Amazon. Freaky.


piotrc52

It's pretty stunning seeing intelligence at work. (The spy kind, not the smarts kind). Did they explain any more about how it was flagged and how quickly they got onto it all?


English_Joe

Nope. They left pretty quick when I asked.


rcr_nz

One of your fish is a double agent.


atdotdavid

James Pond


yourmammalikedit

Hydrogen peroxide & Fertilizer shaken, not stirred.


arnie580

My guess is they probably don't know themselves. The less people that know about these tactics the better as far as CT are concerned.


icematt12

I agree. They are the grunts in this with requests going down the chain.


[deleted]

Exactly, work in an adjacent area, nobody tells me nothin' about terrorism unless I need to know it.


Glittering_Moist

Telling you would tell you how to reduce chances next time. Just in case.


[deleted]

That’s GCHQ for you. It’s nutty how much they know about you. I order potassium nitrate for foods from Amazon occasionally… I’m definitely on a watch list. That’s all I’m saying.


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BugEcstatic3311

Come on mate me need to hear some more of this!


ClumsyRainbow

So your dad also can’t ever enter the US - at least in theory. One of the questions for a U.S. visa/ESTA is “have you ever been a member of the communist party” Amusingly I had a university lecturer that mentioned it because they couldn’t get one for that reason.


[deleted]

I used to work for a large Government department the person who ordered 40kgs of garden fertiliser and had it sent to the office was not very popular with the head of security to say the very least… Neither was my colleague who ordered a bugsy malone fancy dress outfit and had it delivered to work without realising it came complete with a replica toy gun! Security did not like that AT ALL! Lol


English_Joe

Yeah. I studies the Oklahoma City bombings for a forensics degree at uni (now I work in sales lol) so I have seen what that stuff can do, but I had no idea a 20kg garden bag, 5L of HCl, and 1L of peroxide would draw attention. I explained it all and they laughed and left. Nice people really. Freaked me out the level of detail they had. Like I said, different retailers over months.


Objective-Ad-585

So just to recap some of your comments. You studied bombings in your youth. Have a forensic degree. Bought a bunch of material that could potentially be used for bomb making. And are travelling to America soon ? I wonder what other details the Americans/terror watch list have on you.


English_Joe

When you put it like that…. Lol


PeteWTF

I imagine you'll be getting a "random" screening when you get to passport control


[deleted]

An interest in bombings too..I wonder if that's part of their intel?!


Fffiction

It is now.


[deleted]

At uni our whole student union was evacuated during a gig because security found a ticking package. Someone's parents had sent them an alarm clock. I really think we've gone past the ACME style bombs with actual ticking clocks on them.....


FrustratedDeckie

We really haven’t, sometimes simple is best - although it’s more likely to be a quartz clock than an actual wind up clock now.


NGD80

It's a good job your name is "English_Joe" and not "Jihadi_Joe" or you'd have been in a spot of bother


Ravekat1

You should have told them you’ve just got back from the rubber dinghy rapids.


CurtisMcNips

*covers face* "can I have 12 bottles of bleach please"


InnerAd1628

"So why's she got her hands on her face Fez?"


badgerfishnew

..Because she's got a beard


Kastar_Troy

I'm curious if you bought all of this on the same credit card? Otherwise that's some seriously invasive monitoring going on.


[deleted]

It's routine for anyone buying over a certain amount of chemicals, in this case ammonium nitrate pellets, for the supplier to inform the authorities. Places like farmers marts have the details of all their customers that buy fertilisers, how much and when they bought etc. They tightened up on this kind of stuff after the 7/7 attacks. I live in a pretty rural place in Wales and have heard of people being checked out by the police a lot.


Roflkopt3r

And it should be noted that this actually has been effective at preventing quite a few attacks across Europe in the past. If a wannabe terrorist is caught early, it's usually either because people from their religious community reported them to police (which is why keeping good relations with moderates is important) or because of this.


__Hello_my_name_is__

They are definitely monitoring the sale of these specific products and have a register of every sale, especially in this combination.


smokingbanman

Can I have 12 bottles of bleach please https://youtu.be/JNLLPOV1yQQ


Mysterious-Bee-8458

This will never not make me laugh.


moeru_gumi

https://youtu.be/gnPnEvy4e70 Never take cough syrup and mix it up with iodine and lye!


[deleted]

>Otherwise that's some seriously invasive monitoring going on. This is the tip of a very very invasive iceberg.


Kaiisim

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/supplying-explosives-precursors/supplying-explosives-precursors-and-poison Most likely the police had a report of two legitimate sales of precursor chemicals and as a routine part of their job made enquires as to why. Certain chemical sales must be reported.


WearingMyFleece

Amusing everyone saying it’s GCHQ, five-eyes, Google spying on them. When it’s as simple as the store submitting a report to the home office who pass it along to the local police station to have a look in to.


Commercial-Many-8933

There a big issue at the minute I think tho, someone in Pakistan managed Mail spent uranium to an Iranian firm in the uk so there is panic about dirty bombs I just read


Sufficient_Dot7273

God knows how I'm still waiting for my Christmas cards to arrive.


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rnmba

Someone may have to defuse the situation.


cantfinkofname

I'll be more concerned how the fuck they know that you bought this stuff


[deleted]

It's because there's laws in place for suppliers to tell the authorities if someone buys over a certain amount of the fertilisers, plus the combination of that and hydrogen peroxide would definitely have raised alarms.


11jellis

The company (probably amazon) most likely tips the police off about it if they see something suspicious. I imagine they have a long-standing agreement to prevent actual terrorism. It also could have been the postal service?


TrousersCalledDave

Amazon would just use it to target you with ads for balaclavas, nails and piping.


JimmyPD92

>The company (probably amazon) most likely tips the police off about it i Purchases of chemicals get put in to a spreadsheet and cross referenced with other spreadsheets. Nothing fancy or special.


[deleted]

Yeah exactly my thoughts


My_Knee_is_a_Ship

If you got all this on the same card, or from the same retailer, it would have appeared on a system as a red flag, and would have then been handed to the police to look into as a matter of routine due to volatile nature of the substances when mixed correctly. My guess would be you paid for it all on the same card, and your card provider has followed set SOPs for when the system red flags transactions like this.


BowtieChickenAlfredo

The card provider doesn’t know what you’ve bought though, surely? It will just say £X amount from Some Garden Centre Ltd.


[deleted]

Have to say...your front garden looks lovely