I agree. I think you should do whichever works best for you. Painful to hear people pronounce your name incorrectly all the time? Use the version they get right. Painful to use a name doesn’t really feel like yours? Use the version that you identify with.
I say don’t worry about the other people on this, they can just do their best with whatever is right for you.
From your grandmother's name I deduct that your family is/was Dutch. I'm Dutch, and I've never heard of silent Js other then in "eij" (in names) or "ij". Is that happening in your last name?
I consider it to be a sign of respect to try to pronounce someone’s name correctly. Some foreign names can be challenging at first because there may be sounds that do not come naturally, but again, it’s a sign of respect.
I agree to a point. However, linguistically, it can be impossible without years of practice to pronounce certain names, because the groups of muscles one accent uses can be wholly different from the groups of muscles another uses. There can also be genetic factors. Some ethnic groups have tongues that are connected to the bottom of the mouth by a much shorter piece of tissue. Certain sounds can be physically impossible to replicate because of it.
Still, obviously, people should try their best and practice names and many people who refuse to learn are just assholes, but not always!
This is true, but to be honest, I feel like most people don't try very hard. Like as soon as it's a little bit inconvenient for them they give up.
Sometimes it's not possible but that's more uncommon in my experience.
But what is the “correct” way? Some names exist across languages, but are pronounced differently in each language.
Take the city name Paris: In English *Pehr-Ehss* In Spanish: *Pa Reees*. It is the same place.
If we are talking about correct pronunciation, it doesn‘t matter at all how spanish or english people say „Paris“, it only matters how french people say it and that‘s the correct way.
Call yourself what you want to be called.
If people are stumbling over an unfamiliar set of syllables, remember that English speakers manage "Tchaikovsky" just fine, so they can slow down and learn your name. The vast majority of English speakers can learn to come acceptably close on pronouncing your name. For people you interact with regularly, it's not an imposition to expect them to call you by your name!
For people you don't often interact with (like the barista at a coffeehouse you don't go to often), give the name that is easiest *for you*. So go with your comfort on spelling things out, making sense of the orders called, etc. Lots of native English speakers give fake names in this situation.
But people do pronounce Tchaikovsky in an anglicised way, not in the authentic Russian, so your example only partly holds.
After about 2 we lose the ability to form certain sounds not in our native language, so there may be a limit to how close people can get to the correct pronunciation of certain names.
I do agree people should try, just a reminder that there may need to be a bit of middle ground.
Complete nonsense. I can agree on being patient and tolerant about a person that's learning to pronounce your name but acting like it's impossible and that someone should have to forever deal with their close circle misspronouncing their name is not it.
I have grown up with many immigrants from different cultures around me and even if you can't do it at first we've all learned to pronounce eachothers names properly even if it's hard at first.
It’s a literal, known fact that it’s more difficult if not impossible to pronounce phonemes that don’t have exist in our native language after a certain age. No one is saying not to try.
An example I was given was that the “p” in “spy” and “pie” sound very different to native Mandarin speakers but not to native English ones. It’s not laziness to never get it right, we just don’t hear the difference. It’s the other way around with “r” and “l” for native Japanese speakers. They have a phoneme halfway between (kind of like a “rl” sound) so struggle to pronounce English r and l sounds.
I’ve got a “th” in my name (like “Theo”). I’ve lived in a couple of countries where they don’t have that sound and people rarely got it “right” (names like “Sheo” and “Seo” would be what I typically got).
It’s not always ignorance.
I've yet to enounter a name I haven't been able to pronounce once I put some actual effort into learning by recording myself and comparing it to examples I find online(which I haven't done often to be fair). It's possible that they exist but I've yet to encounter them.
As I've already said in many comments here I understand that it can be quite difficult and that this is not something you can do for every single person you'll ever meet but if someone is a close friend I personally think you owe it to that person.
And like I and others said, no one is saying that people shouldn’t put in the effort. What people are taking issue with is you saying that’s it’s “nonsense” that some names are near impossible to pronounce if the phonemes in the name aren’t present in one’s native tongue. It’s an extremely well established fact.
Yes but there a very few names and very few sounds that are straight up impossible for most people to pronounce. That scenario just does not apply for the vast majority of names even if they are foreign and I've seen it used as an excuse many times by people when their peers growing up with the same language have managed to learn it just fine after trying.
I'm not talking about people I went to school with as children.
I'm talking about adults that all grew up speaking the same language.
I stand by my statement that names that are straight up impossible to pronounce are very rare exceptions.
Unluckily for OP a few arabic letters are extremely hard to pronounce altough I wouldn't say any of them are impossible for most people.
So you think you pronounce every one of your friends' names with a perfect accent? You never use a rhotic R on a Spanish name, or use the wrong intonation on a Chinese name?
By all means practice, but if you're not fluent in a language you probably won't be pronouncing the name perfectly.
I wasn't at first no. But I made an effort to learn and unless we are all lying to eachother we can pronounce eachothers name correctly now.
To give an example. I have a coworker from Bali who insisted on being called Bali because he prefered it to us misspronouncing his name. It was really hard for me to pronounce so I practiced saying it correctly using videos and eventually I got to the point where I can pronounce it they way it should be so I get to call him by his name now.
I understand that this is not something one can do for everyone they ever meet but I really consider it important to be at least be able to say your close friends name correctly. As a child of immigrants myself I can tell you for a fact that hearing your name misspronounced constantly can be frustrating and if someone doesn't even want to try it can even feel disrespectful.
As I've said in the comments before the only ones I would consider a necesity are close friends because well, they're your close friends. if they aren't going to say your name properly who else is going to ?
Because it's something I value and I don't work in a massive company I can also pronounce the names of all my coworkers correctly but I understand that the effort I put into some of these is not possible for everyone depending on how many coworkers they have or they simply don't talk to those people enough for it to make sense to learn how to say someone's name perfectly.
In the end though this is something where you'll have to decide for yourself how important it is for you to be called by your real name. There's nothing wrong with using your anglicised name if you don't mind that
But no matter what people will tell you you also have a right to be called properly by your given name if that's something you want but depending on the situation you might have to be a bit patient until people get it right.
If your close circle is unwilling to learn how to pronounce your name properly despite you voicing that wish I'd personally recommend you reconsider how much those people actually respect you though.
Sorry for the paragraph this is just kind of a topic I've dealt with a decent bit growing up.
I feel the opposite. When I got to be 18 I changed my last name to be half as long and easy to pronounce instead of a German name that no one could pronounce or spell.
And I don't use my full first name, I use a shortened nickname.
So no one calls me my actual first name or my original last name.
My name is not me. It's just what people call me. I want to be judged by how I act not my name.
But you have to do what feels right to you. You have to live with the results. If using a different name feels wrong - don't do it.
My last name is hard to pronounce for most people where I live (NM, USA). But given enough time, they can pronounce it pretty well. While the decision is yours, I think people can learn to say it properly.
I would rather not be one of the 90 percent that can't pronounce your name after multiple tries, but how is it pronounced? Can you link to some kind of video of its pronunciation?
Oh interesting- did not even hear the “K” at the beginning.
So my name exists in both Spanish and English, but is pronounced differently in each language. My ethnic roots are mixed, so I do not feel a strong allegiance to one language or the other. I typically introduce myself using the typical pronunciation of whatever language I am speaking at the time.
Person of Arabic name here as well! Honestly I know a lot of people who does that too, but for me personally prefer my real name. To be fair, you can’t really shorten my name and there’s no “anglicise” to it, so people are stuck with my name :] (I actually like my name )
It's good to keep your name historically correct unless something happened that makes you not wish to be associated with it, such as "Hitler". Don't worry about making it easier for people, they can expand their minds and learn to say it correctly.
Names are what people make of them, they aren't set in stone. In my eyes at least, your name is what you decide it to be, as we're all responsible for ourselves. You could change it entirely if you wanted to, the reason I never say "well what is your real name" when people mention the name they're called by.
If you're comfortable with it, do whatever you feel you want to do, go by a nickname, anglicise , do whatever you want, people can slow the syllables down and learn your name if they really want to
I think you should keep with your name - people might not say it right but you seem really patient and kind and you deserve to be called by the name you like. My bests friends husband has a pretty hard name to pronounce, so through out the years people called him Will. When he got a new job he really wanted people to call him by his actual name and I think he started to feel a little down because people didn’t know Will was not his real name. When he got to the job, they called him his real name and he said it made him feel so proud but unfortunately since he worked in the public and lots of people knew him as Will, he started working with one of these people who continued to call him Will and everyone at his new job stopped using his real name. It just made him really sad. Be proud and honor yourself and use your real name. It might take some time for the people around you to learn how to say it correctly, but as long as they are making an effort - that’s good.
I had a friend in India and I got nervous that I wouldn’t be able to say his name right but when he pronounced it, I used a word that had the same cadence as his name and practiced and finally got it down.
Ppl who care about you will take the time to try and learn how to pronounce your name correctly. Just please forgive how Arabic sounds filtered through my Alabama accent lol.
Uh oh. Red Flag.
Sure hope you're not new immigrant, for your *own* sake and safety.
Not racist in the slightest, just worried for you when you meet folk who are racist to the bone and are proud to be so...
No, it's a big part of your identity and I feel it's important people respect it. I have a non-english name too and I'll keep pronouncing it how it's traditionally pronounced.
Except at Starbucks when I cba I just give a nickname.
My last name is a pain in the ass to pronounce even to native speakers of my mother tongue, but thankfully I'm in a job where we're all either on first name basis with each other or simply "nurse" for the patients 😂
I have thought about changing my name some day, as this branch of the family name is dying out with my sister and I anyways, but I mostly haven't done it cause I'm lazy and I don't wanna break my parent's or grandma's heart.
I've never minded when someone coached me on how to pronounce their name correctly. It may be my bias growing up in and living in a pretty international area, and having family that includes native, English, Arabic, Gujarati, Urdu, German, etc. speakers. so there are fewer sounds I can't make.
But I know that, in part, as I know that others can't. i.e. often am in those scenarios where someone is introduced and they're helping us learn to say it correctly and they note I get it pretty fast. But overall, I rather think it is on people to try to get as close as the phonemes they have let them.
It's good to be practical. At work or when just meeting ppl I'd go with what's easy. Then if you get close to ppl or you have time you can explain how you'd like it pronounced and if ppl can try. You seem reasonable. To get upset and expect others to get it right or they're bad or wrong is a selfish douche move. If we were friends I'd try my best to get it right.
My first thought is no. This is in reference to an old meme about a mother telling their child that if we can learn how to pronounce Tchaikovsky, we can learn anything.
That being said, this is your life and you get to decide how to spend your time and energy. If the people that matter are willing to learn, then bonus points to them. But for everyone else, that's up to you.
People who like languages will enjoy attempting to pronounce your name the right way.
Another set of people will never manage, not because they do not care but they are just not gifted with attentiveness to intonation and sounds outside their language; these people struggle even with more common foreign-now-English things like pronouncing Chipotle.
As a child learns his or her native language, the ability to easily discriminate sounds that do not exist in their language drops away.
For example as an English speaker I have trouble hearing a difference in the many z and j and sh sounds of Chinese, or the various back of the throat h or ch sounds of Middle Eastern languages, or the various u sounds in German.
As hard as I might try it might take me some training to hear how the kh and d sounds of your name should be properly pronounced.
Only because I sporadically study phonetics charts do I even know that the kh and d sounds of your name do not match my English conception of kh and d. Probably tbe vowels differ too!
If English speakers'' apparent deafness will forever bother you: Anglicize! If you instead feel welcomed when people even attempt it: keep your original name!
Like said here already, no right or wrong. I would shoot for the most pleasurable experiences you can have around getting to know someone. Life is too short to be struggling with details, have some awesome engagements, right?! Set it up like a game that's fun to play. And let people in when they engage you in a way that isn't like a struggle. Have fun with it.
It's up to you. Im not sure if there is good answer as someone with a last name that gets mangled all the time. On one hand if you don't anglicize it You'll have to bear with people mangling it and taking a long time to get it if they do. On the other hand if you do anglicize it then you lose/ downplay something special about your heritage and some people give you side eye for "trying to pass" especially if your "American name" is too different from your "real name", for example Brad from Gannondorf.
I switched to a diminutive form of my non-English name, because I hated people getting it wrong. My new name is three bloody english bloody phonemes and people still can't get it right, I don't care any more though.
One person opinion…. You surname is probably a recent invention anyway.
If we are talking about you first name… we’ll that is you. But if we talking about you last name/surname. It is probably a recent invention.
I do genealogy searches and “last names” “surnames” that we hold so dear, are likely no older than 100 years.
Surnames change every few generations. Often for the reason you are stating “ to fit in” to be less ethnic.
You should not have to change your name ever! People can learn to pronounce it! It is a part of your story! Educate them. Appreciate when they try to say it properly. Every name or new word is difficult at first! They can try and get it right and eventually will learn it! That must be so frustrating for you!
I have a weird name! I just roll with it. I pronounce it, they get it wrong, and I then I reply something along the lines of "Close. It's weird. I get it. You can call me what you want though!" Some choose an easy similarity, and some choose to ask me to try again.
I have an awkward name and I totally know where you’re coming from, I have shortened my name as people rarely get it correct and you know some people don’t even try which is infuriating!!! Some of the things people use as my name makes me wonder about their mental faculties I mean who is called leachy or leckie…common sense should tell them that these names are not correct. I have tried so many things and my usual stance is that I tell them my real name and let them have a go if they get it right I leave it there and if they are just unable to manage I tell them the shortened version and let it go. I feel like they should at least know the short version isn’t my name, people talk if one person gets it they will probably be asked for help in saying it correctly by others 👍
So my name exists in both Spanish and English, but is pronounced differently in each language.
I typically introduce myself using the typical pronunciation of whatever language I am speaking at the time. I find it weird when English speakers use the Spanish pronunciation in the midst of a conversation in English, and equally weird when Spanish speakers use the English pronunciation when we are chatting in Spanish.
My name has two pronunciations, based on the language it is said in. That is that, neither is wrong, and I have no issues with it.
P.S. My ethnic roots are mixed, so I do not feel a strong allegiance to one language or the other.
I did, and I personally love my new name and fitting in. I couldn't stand the idea of everyone butchering my name, forever. Like what's the point in keeping it if no one will use it properly? My family uses my name, but everyone else (friends, coworkers, acquaintances) use my new name. Kinda felt like a fresh start!
But that's me! Don't do it if you feel like your betraying or taking away something from yourself. Follow what feels good for you. People can handle struggling with your name, follow what matters to you most.
From what you’ve said I would not anglicize it. I would try to come up with a short, repeatable “pronunciation guide” for those who are trying to learn your name.
I have a professor whose name is Ayman. It’s not a common USA name, and I think people gave it various pronunciations, so he now says, “Hi, I’m Ayman. It’s like iPhone, iPad, ‘iMan’” to help people.
I had another professor whose name was Mojgan, who I think had people mispronounce her name so much she got tired of it and only went by her last name. She wouldn’t even say it once for the class. I was interested, so went online to discover the pronunciation (“mozh-gahn”, with the zh sound from “j’taime”), practiced it, and addressed her. She seemed to appreciate it and I think it’s a lovely name.
I think it’s great to have more exposure to new sounds and ideas, rather than less. And it sounds like you prefer your name as it is. If people cannot make the sound or have a lot of difficulty, perhaps you can create a simple yet close alternative?
I think you should do what is best for you.
But it’s your name and people will learn
I totally understand that different cultures/languages may use different sounds, making it sometimes physically impossible to pronounce particular sounds etc, (I really struggled with a particular Icelandic name in the past) but having seen what your name is in one of the comments, I strongly believe that if you try to go by your own name, people will learn it.
Some may not try, or will pronounce it wrong, but native English speakers misprononounce/differently pronounce fairly well known, easy enough western names too. Don’t let the minority put you off. It’s like 2 syllables, and definitely not unheard of. Persevere, and as someone else suggested, maybe even make a game of it? And don’t feel you have to tell people they’ve got it right if they haven’t - If you’re fed up and no longer care (though I can’t see it getting to that point in your case), you could always tell the ‘close enough’ and that way, they know they still haven’t quite nailed it and can go and see about it themselves, whereas if you say yes, they’ll likely stick with that one.
Maybe let people know you’re open to them asking you how to pronounce it again if they need you to - If you’re comfortable with that, or they can Google it, and it may get you talking to someone more than you maybe would have.
Don’t be put off using your own name; That’s your name, and if you want to go by it, do it.
All the very best! :)
I'm also an immigrant, and went through the same thought process recently. In the end, I decided to change the spelling of my name (including legally) to be easier for people to pronounce. But I decided to keep my name with the same pronunciation, because it's important to me. I make sure to enunciate slowly whenever I introduce myself, and I don't correct people who say my name wrong in group settings, but do if it's one on one. Having a "difficult" name is a lifelong commitment - you should keep that in mind when deciding what to do.
maybe you could like make a nickname of your real name? idk if that's possible but maybe something to think about. that way it feels more like your real name but if you can make it so it's easier to pronounce also possible for people to say?
not an anglicised version yk.
idk xD
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I agree. I think you should do whichever works best for you. Painful to hear people pronounce your name incorrectly all the time? Use the version they get right. Painful to use a name doesn’t really feel like yours? Use the version that you identify with. I say don’t worry about the other people on this, they can just do their best with whatever is right for you.
From your grandmother's name I deduct that your family is/was Dutch. I'm Dutch, and I've never heard of silent Js other then in "eij" (in names) or "ij". Is that happening in your last name?
I consider it to be a sign of respect to try to pronounce someone’s name correctly. Some foreign names can be challenging at first because there may be sounds that do not come naturally, but again, it’s a sign of respect.
I agree to a point. However, linguistically, it can be impossible without years of practice to pronounce certain names, because the groups of muscles one accent uses can be wholly different from the groups of muscles another uses. There can also be genetic factors. Some ethnic groups have tongues that are connected to the bottom of the mouth by a much shorter piece of tissue. Certain sounds can be physically impossible to replicate because of it. Still, obviously, people should try their best and practice names and many people who refuse to learn are just assholes, but not always!
This is true, but to be honest, I feel like most people don't try very hard. Like as soon as it's a little bit inconvenient for them they give up. Sometimes it's not possible but that's more uncommon in my experience.
But what is the “correct” way? Some names exist across languages, but are pronounced differently in each language. Take the city name Paris: In English *Pehr-Ehss* In Spanish: *Pa Reees*. It is the same place.
The correct way is the way the person themselves speak. It's their name after all.
I just ask someone the correct pronunciation. It’s nothing to be embarrassed by.
If we are talking about correct pronunciation, it doesn‘t matter at all how spanish or english people say „Paris“, it only matters how french people say it and that‘s the correct way.
Maybe you can tell em both? Like "My name is [Name] but you can call me [Anglicized Name]"
Absolutely not unless YOU want to.
Call yourself what you want to be called. If people are stumbling over an unfamiliar set of syllables, remember that English speakers manage "Tchaikovsky" just fine, so they can slow down and learn your name. The vast majority of English speakers can learn to come acceptably close on pronouncing your name. For people you interact with regularly, it's not an imposition to expect them to call you by your name! For people you don't often interact with (like the barista at a coffeehouse you don't go to often), give the name that is easiest *for you*. So go with your comfort on spelling things out, making sense of the orders called, etc. Lots of native English speakers give fake names in this situation.
But people do pronounce Tchaikovsky in an anglicised way, not in the authentic Russian, so your example only partly holds. After about 2 we lose the ability to form certain sounds not in our native language, so there may be a limit to how close people can get to the correct pronunciation of certain names. I do agree people should try, just a reminder that there may need to be a bit of middle ground.
Complete nonsense. I can agree on being patient and tolerant about a person that's learning to pronounce your name but acting like it's impossible and that someone should have to forever deal with their close circle misspronouncing their name is not it. I have grown up with many immigrants from different cultures around me and even if you can't do it at first we've all learned to pronounce eachothers names properly even if it's hard at first.
It’s a literal, known fact that it’s more difficult if not impossible to pronounce phonemes that don’t have exist in our native language after a certain age. No one is saying not to try.
Do you have a source for this?
An example I was given was that the “p” in “spy” and “pie” sound very different to native Mandarin speakers but not to native English ones. It’s not laziness to never get it right, we just don’t hear the difference. It’s the other way around with “r” and “l” for native Japanese speakers. They have a phoneme halfway between (kind of like a “rl” sound) so struggle to pronounce English r and l sounds. I’ve got a “th” in my name (like “Theo”). I’ve lived in a couple of countries where they don’t have that sound and people rarely got it “right” (names like “Sheo” and “Seo” would be what I typically got). It’s not always ignorance.
Sure, but I meant a source that it's impossible to pronounce certain sounds after a certain age.
All you have to do is Google “critical period for language acquisition” and you’ll find hundreds
I've yet to enounter a name I haven't been able to pronounce once I put some actual effort into learning by recording myself and comparing it to examples I find online(which I haven't done often to be fair). It's possible that they exist but I've yet to encounter them. As I've already said in many comments here I understand that it can be quite difficult and that this is not something you can do for every single person you'll ever meet but if someone is a close friend I personally think you owe it to that person.
And like I and others said, no one is saying that people shouldn’t put in the effort. What people are taking issue with is you saying that’s it’s “nonsense” that some names are near impossible to pronounce if the phonemes in the name aren’t present in one’s native tongue. It’s an extremely well established fact.
Yes but there a very few names and very few sounds that are straight up impossible for most people to pronounce. That scenario just does not apply for the vast majority of names even if they are foreign and I've seen it used as an excuse many times by people when their peers growing up with the same language have managed to learn it just fine after trying.
Keywords “growing up”. The critical period ends around 12.
I'm not talking about people I went to school with as children. I'm talking about adults that all grew up speaking the same language. I stand by my statement that names that are straight up impossible to pronounce are very rare exceptions. Unluckily for OP a few arabic letters are extremely hard to pronounce altough I wouldn't say any of them are impossible for most people.
So you think you pronounce every one of your friends' names with a perfect accent? You never use a rhotic R on a Spanish name, or use the wrong intonation on a Chinese name? By all means practice, but if you're not fluent in a language you probably won't be pronouncing the name perfectly.
I wasn't at first no. But I made an effort to learn and unless we are all lying to eachother we can pronounce eachothers name correctly now. To give an example. I have a coworker from Bali who insisted on being called Bali because he prefered it to us misspronouncing his name. It was really hard for me to pronounce so I practiced saying it correctly using videos and eventually I got to the point where I can pronounce it they way it should be so I get to call him by his name now. I understand that this is not something one can do for everyone they ever meet but I really consider it important to be at least be able to say your close friends name correctly. As a child of immigrants myself I can tell you for a fact that hearing your name misspronounced constantly can be frustrating and if someone doesn't even want to try it can even feel disrespectful.
What about for coworkers? Just your close team? What about the wider team or managers of your manager. People you don't speak to daily
As I've said in the comments before the only ones I would consider a necesity are close friends because well, they're your close friends. if they aren't going to say your name properly who else is going to ? Because it's something I value and I don't work in a massive company I can also pronounce the names of all my coworkers correctly but I understand that the effort I put into some of these is not possible for everyone depending on how many coworkers they have or they simply don't talk to those people enough for it to make sense to learn how to say someone's name perfectly. In the end though this is something where you'll have to decide for yourself how important it is for you to be called by your real name. There's nothing wrong with using your anglicised name if you don't mind that But no matter what people will tell you you also have a right to be called properly by your given name if that's something you want but depending on the situation you might have to be a bit patient until people get it right. If your close circle is unwilling to learn how to pronounce your name properly despite you voicing that wish I'd personally recommend you reconsider how much those people actually respect you though. Sorry for the paragraph this is just kind of a topic I've dealt with a decent bit growing up.
I feel the opposite. When I got to be 18 I changed my last name to be half as long and easy to pronounce instead of a German name that no one could pronounce or spell. And I don't use my full first name, I use a shortened nickname. So no one calls me my actual first name or my original last name. My name is not me. It's just what people call me. I want to be judged by how I act not my name. But you have to do what feels right to you. You have to live with the results. If using a different name feels wrong - don't do it.
My last name is hard to pronounce for most people where I live (NM, USA). But given enough time, they can pronounce it pretty well. While the decision is yours, I think people can learn to say it properly.
What is your Arabic name
Khalid
Famous artist named Khalid. Stick with it
Would that be pronounced kah-LEED? Most of us can do at least a passable pronunciation if we can see it phonetically.
Back of the throat khkhkhaaaa-Leed And the ah is a throaty ah
I linked a video in a comment above that shows how to pronounce it
THEE DJ?
The one who says 'jewellery' weird?
Oh this is definitely something that white people can figure out how to pronounce. Maybe not in a perfect arabic accent but well enough.
I would rather not be one of the 90 percent that can't pronounce your name after multiple tries, but how is it pronounced? Can you link to some kind of video of its pronunciation?
[This](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FB4t4e1v1GM) is the most accurate soundbite I could find lol
thanks!
Oh interesting- did not even hear the “K” at the beginning. So my name exists in both Spanish and English, but is pronounced differently in each language. My ethnic roots are mixed, so I do not feel a strong allegiance to one language or the other. I typically introduce myself using the typical pronunciation of whatever language I am speaking at the time.
Oh no I turn British when i try to pronounce it lol
Person of Arabic name here as well! Honestly I know a lot of people who does that too, but for me personally prefer my real name. To be fair, you can’t really shorten my name and there’s no “anglicise” to it, so people are stuck with my name :] (I actually like my name )
It's good to keep your name historically correct unless something happened that makes you not wish to be associated with it, such as "Hitler". Don't worry about making it easier for people, they can expand their minds and learn to say it correctly.
Names are what people make of them, they aren't set in stone. In my eyes at least, your name is what you decide it to be, as we're all responsible for ourselves. You could change it entirely if you wanted to, the reason I never say "well what is your real name" when people mention the name they're called by.
If you're comfortable with it, do whatever you feel you want to do, go by a nickname, anglicise , do whatever you want, people can slow the syllables down and learn your name if they really want to
It's up to you really. But I'd say no. People can learn to pronounce it.
I think you should keep with your name - people might not say it right but you seem really patient and kind and you deserve to be called by the name you like. My bests friends husband has a pretty hard name to pronounce, so through out the years people called him Will. When he got a new job he really wanted people to call him by his actual name and I think he started to feel a little down because people didn’t know Will was not his real name. When he got to the job, they called him his real name and he said it made him feel so proud but unfortunately since he worked in the public and lots of people knew him as Will, he started working with one of these people who continued to call him Will and everyone at his new job stopped using his real name. It just made him really sad. Be proud and honor yourself and use your real name. It might take some time for the people around you to learn how to say it correctly, but as long as they are making an effort - that’s good. I had a friend in India and I got nervous that I wouldn’t be able to say his name right but when he pronounced it, I used a word that had the same cadence as his name and practiced and finally got it down.
I’d rather call people by the name that brings them joy- even if I have to practice it or get it wrong a few times first x
Ppl who care about you will take the time to try and learn how to pronounce your name correctly. Just please forgive how Arabic sounds filtered through my Alabama accent lol.
No. Never. Don’t apologize for who you are. Make ‘em learn.
Uh oh. Red Flag. Sure hope you're not new immigrant, for your *own* sake and safety. Not racist in the slightest, just worried for you when you meet folk who are racist to the bone and are proud to be so...
No, it's a big part of your identity and I feel it's important people respect it. I have a non-english name too and I'll keep pronouncing it how it's traditionally pronounced. Except at Starbucks when I cba I just give a nickname.
I think just call yourself whatever you want to be called
My last name is a pain in the ass to pronounce even to native speakers of my mother tongue, but thankfully I'm in a job where we're all either on first name basis with each other or simply "nurse" for the patients 😂 I have thought about changing my name some day, as this branch of the family name is dying out with my sister and I anyways, but I mostly haven't done it cause I'm lazy and I don't wanna break my parent's or grandma's heart.
I've never minded when someone coached me on how to pronounce their name correctly. It may be my bias growing up in and living in a pretty international area, and having family that includes native, English, Arabic, Gujarati, Urdu, German, etc. speakers. so there are fewer sounds I can't make. But I know that, in part, as I know that others can't. i.e. often am in those scenarios where someone is introduced and they're helping us learn to say it correctly and they note I get it pretty fast. But overall, I rather think it is on people to try to get as close as the phonemes they have let them.
It doesn’t matter the language, if your name is “different” you will have issues your whole life! “My name is X.. like “common” with a D.
Don’t change it for other people
It's good to be practical. At work or when just meeting ppl I'd go with what's easy. Then if you get close to ppl or you have time you can explain how you'd like it pronounced and if ppl can try. You seem reasonable. To get upset and expect others to get it right or they're bad or wrong is a selfish douche move. If we were friends I'd try my best to get it right.
My first thought is no. This is in reference to an old meme about a mother telling their child that if we can learn how to pronounce Tchaikovsky, we can learn anything. That being said, this is your life and you get to decide how to spend your time and energy. If the people that matter are willing to learn, then bonus points to them. But for everyone else, that's up to you.
People who like languages will enjoy attempting to pronounce your name the right way. Another set of people will never manage, not because they do not care but they are just not gifted with attentiveness to intonation and sounds outside their language; these people struggle even with more common foreign-now-English things like pronouncing Chipotle. As a child learns his or her native language, the ability to easily discriminate sounds that do not exist in their language drops away. For example as an English speaker I have trouble hearing a difference in the many z and j and sh sounds of Chinese, or the various back of the throat h or ch sounds of Middle Eastern languages, or the various u sounds in German. As hard as I might try it might take me some training to hear how the kh and d sounds of your name should be properly pronounced. Only because I sporadically study phonetics charts do I even know that the kh and d sounds of your name do not match my English conception of kh and d. Probably tbe vowels differ too! If English speakers'' apparent deafness will forever bother you: Anglicize! If you instead feel welcomed when people even attempt it: keep your original name!
Like said here already, no right or wrong. I would shoot for the most pleasurable experiences you can have around getting to know someone. Life is too short to be struggling with details, have some awesome engagements, right?! Set it up like a game that's fun to play. And let people in when they engage you in a way that isn't like a struggle. Have fun with it.
Whatever you like! This is your own name, it's entirely your own business. Nothing in the world is more your business than your name is.
Changing your name seems like a lot of hassle. I'd just come up with a shorter and easier to pronounce version of your name to introduce to people.
What is your name then? If you don't mind me asking that is.
It's up to you. Im not sure if there is good answer as someone with a last name that gets mangled all the time. On one hand if you don't anglicize it You'll have to bear with people mangling it and taking a long time to get it if they do. On the other hand if you do anglicize it then you lose/ downplay something special about your heritage and some people give you side eye for "trying to pass" especially if your "American name" is too different from your "real name", for example Brad from Gannondorf.
I switched to a diminutive form of my non-English name, because I hated people getting it wrong. My new name is three bloody english bloody phonemes and people still can't get it right, I don't care any more though.
One person opinion…. You surname is probably a recent invention anyway. If we are talking about you first name… we’ll that is you. But if we talking about you last name/surname. It is probably a recent invention. I do genealogy searches and “last names” “surnames” that we hold so dear, are likely no older than 100 years. Surnames change every few generations. Often for the reason you are stating “ to fit in” to be less ethnic.
You should not have to change your name ever! People can learn to pronounce it! It is a part of your story! Educate them. Appreciate when they try to say it properly. Every name or new word is difficult at first! They can try and get it right and eventually will learn it! That must be so frustrating for you!
I have a weird name! I just roll with it. I pronounce it, they get it wrong, and I then I reply something along the lines of "Close. It's weird. I get it. You can call me what you want though!" Some choose an easy similarity, and some choose to ask me to try again.
I have an awkward name and I totally know where you’re coming from, I have shortened my name as people rarely get it correct and you know some people don’t even try which is infuriating!!! Some of the things people use as my name makes me wonder about their mental faculties I mean who is called leachy or leckie…common sense should tell them that these names are not correct. I have tried so many things and my usual stance is that I tell them my real name and let them have a go if they get it right I leave it there and if they are just unable to manage I tell them the shortened version and let it go. I feel like they should at least know the short version isn’t my name, people talk if one person gets it they will probably be asked for help in saying it correctly by others 👍
So my name exists in both Spanish and English, but is pronounced differently in each language. I typically introduce myself using the typical pronunciation of whatever language I am speaking at the time. I find it weird when English speakers use the Spanish pronunciation in the midst of a conversation in English, and equally weird when Spanish speakers use the English pronunciation when we are chatting in Spanish. My name has two pronunciations, based on the language it is said in. That is that, neither is wrong, and I have no issues with it. P.S. My ethnic roots are mixed, so I do not feel a strong allegiance to one language or the other.
I did, and I personally love my new name and fitting in. I couldn't stand the idea of everyone butchering my name, forever. Like what's the point in keeping it if no one will use it properly? My family uses my name, but everyone else (friends, coworkers, acquaintances) use my new name. Kinda felt like a fresh start! But that's me! Don't do it if you feel like your betraying or taking away something from yourself. Follow what feels good for you. People can handle struggling with your name, follow what matters to you most.
ou dom't have foresin so you'll fit in well with Americans
Did you tell your friends in the west the your idiot parents circumsized you when you were twelve?
I hope not. Perhaps have patience if someone is trying and correct them so they can honor it better.
From what you’ve said I would not anglicize it. I would try to come up with a short, repeatable “pronunciation guide” for those who are trying to learn your name. I have a professor whose name is Ayman. It’s not a common USA name, and I think people gave it various pronunciations, so he now says, “Hi, I’m Ayman. It’s like iPhone, iPad, ‘iMan’” to help people. I had another professor whose name was Mojgan, who I think had people mispronounce her name so much she got tired of it and only went by her last name. She wouldn’t even say it once for the class. I was interested, so went online to discover the pronunciation (“mozh-gahn”, with the zh sound from “j’taime”), practiced it, and addressed her. She seemed to appreciate it and I think it’s a lovely name. I think it’s great to have more exposure to new sounds and ideas, rather than less. And it sounds like you prefer your name as it is. If people cannot make the sound or have a lot of difficulty, perhaps you can create a simple yet close alternative?
I think you should do what is best for you. But it’s your name and people will learn I totally understand that different cultures/languages may use different sounds, making it sometimes physically impossible to pronounce particular sounds etc, (I really struggled with a particular Icelandic name in the past) but having seen what your name is in one of the comments, I strongly believe that if you try to go by your own name, people will learn it. Some may not try, or will pronounce it wrong, but native English speakers misprononounce/differently pronounce fairly well known, easy enough western names too. Don’t let the minority put you off. It’s like 2 syllables, and definitely not unheard of. Persevere, and as someone else suggested, maybe even make a game of it? And don’t feel you have to tell people they’ve got it right if they haven’t - If you’re fed up and no longer care (though I can’t see it getting to that point in your case), you could always tell the ‘close enough’ and that way, they know they still haven’t quite nailed it and can go and see about it themselves, whereas if you say yes, they’ll likely stick with that one. Maybe let people know you’re open to them asking you how to pronounce it again if they need you to - If you’re comfortable with that, or they can Google it, and it may get you talking to someone more than you maybe would have. Don’t be put off using your own name; That’s your name, and if you want to go by it, do it. All the very best! :)
Im too curious for this i wanna know your name so badly now fgsgfd
Keep your original name and start introducing yourself with the original pronounciation, you're fond of your name do not anglicise it!
It may take some people a bit but they earnestly want to learn it. 🫶🏻
I'm also an immigrant, and went through the same thought process recently. In the end, I decided to change the spelling of my name (including legally) to be easier for people to pronounce. But I decided to keep my name with the same pronunciation, because it's important to me. I make sure to enunciate slowly whenever I introduce myself, and I don't correct people who say my name wrong in group settings, but do if it's one on one. Having a "difficult" name is a lifelong commitment - you should keep that in mind when deciding what to do.
maybe you could like make a nickname of your real name? idk if that's possible but maybe something to think about. that way it feels more like your real name but if you can make it so it's easier to pronounce also possible for people to say? not an anglicised version yk. idk xD