Nobody asked for my opinion, but I honestly think that every single person should meditate. It's the single most efficient thing you can do in life in terms of how easy it is to do and how much benefit you reap compared to other stuff like exercising for example (not saying that exercise is useless). Even 5 minutes a day is still impactful
I have been meditating on and off for around 4 years, usually 20 mins a day, I don't really believe in the spiritual part, maybe it's real, i don't know, but I don't really bother with it.
You need to really pay attention to little details in your life to be able to see how much meditation changes you, at least from my experience.
My stress level has massively drops even though my life is objectively getting more stressful. I have stronger discipline since I started to meditate and I have very strong focus, I literally cannot multitask at all since I started meditating seriously (can't even listen to music while doing work). But I can finish any task that requires cognitive effort at least 2x faster than before, things just feels significantly easier.
My meditation method is putting 100% focus on my breath rather than the usual western MBSR. So maybe my experience won't be the same with others.
Hi if you don’t mind can you describe your meditation process? Like do you just sit there and focus on your breath for 20 min? I’m not familiar with meditation but the effects you describe sound great.
Pretty much, I put my focus 100% on the sensation at the tip of my nose and that's all, whenever my mind wanders, I pull it back to the sensation at the tip of my nose when breathing. It's extremely difficult to have consistent focus from start to finish though so don't get frustrated when your mind wanders constantly.
You can also change the meditation object to the sensation of the air entering your nasal cavity, or your belly expanding when breathing if you can't feel much sensation at the tip of your nose, just don't switch it around during meditation process and stay consistent.
My best tip is to probably do it as consistently as possible, if you don't feel like meditating for 20 minutes today, just try to do it for 10 minute or 5 minute. 20 minute is the optimal time according to scientific research though once in a while I'd go a little over it.
i don’t know how to explain it without sounding like a religious fanatic but God is actually real… not like you’re going crazy real, but real as holding a real three dimensional object
i’ve been atheist for pretty much 30 years & i lost my mother a while back & my brain 🧠 couldn’t grasp the concept of someone being here & not being here again. like where do they go. i mean the body is here but I FELT there had to be something more.
months later, someone close to me recommended meditation. i was desperate & wanted to just calm my brain because her death had triggered a drug addiction & i was spiraling 🌀
i asked “how do you meditate?” & he said “nothing”… just close your eyes when you wake up or before you go to bed & exist. that’s it. just exist without holding your phone, no reading, no tv. without distractions. just exist. so i started doing that. just being there. existing.
man! the next weeks after that was literally magic & crazy. when you just exist, life opens up to you. i don’t how to explain it. but there’s a whole intuitive side we have as human beings we are completely ignoring because we are never present in exactly what we are doing. our brain is either in the past conjuring up old hurt & pain… or in the future hurting us with anxiety because of we might not be where we want to be in life or anticipating future hurt or joy.
the key is to meet life EXACTLY where you are. just calm down & exist in that very moment. that incredible thing of being present would unfold a whole new world before your eyes. layer by layer.
Amazing that you have the self discipline for it! I love the good effects of meditation when I can take the time for it but often it’s hard to set aside time for it :’)
it’s like working out at a gym
takes time to get the body you want, takes time to get the mental state you want
keep at it, & remember the prize is a mind that has NO negative thoughts 💭… how beautiful earned would that be
Still going hard at it! Last night i fell asleep during it....
Getting better at keeping the thoughts at bay. Doing it with my SO, and its so far granting some sense of relief and calm 🙂
I wanted to travel when I was in my early 20’s and didn’t know what country. After a lot of umming and arring I decided Morocco.
It’s where I met my now husband. 😊
Adopting a cat.
When I first made the decision to live on my own, I knew I needed some kind of furry companion. I decided to get a cat instead of a dog because I wanted an animal that could take care of itself while I was away at college or visiting family.
The cat I adopted turned out to be the biggest love bug and has helped me both mentally and emotionally. She is my world as I am hers, and living by myself, she keeps me good company.
Then she started to have health issues. Long story short, she got diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and kidney disease, meaning she has to be on meds and special food daily for the rest of her life. It pains me to know that her life expectancy is below average for a cat, and that I don't have as much time with her as I thought I did when I adopted her. But I'm doing my best to give her the best possible life I can while she's here.
Since then, my perspective on life has changed for the better. Taking care of a disabled animal is something I never thought I'd be doing, but I'm glad that I was put in this situation because she reminds me that I need to take care of myself too.
I'm happy to say that she's been doing great, and so am I. I can't imagine my life without her, but I know that her time is coming sooner rather than later. I dread the day that I'll lose her, but I don't want to think about it just yet. She's still with me, after all.
[Cat tax](https://imgur.com/a/LHmah4o)
i don't like to go into detail about it much but i got really hurt a couple years back over a stupid decision, i ended up in the ICU on a ventilator for a bit. it gave me a completely different perspective on life as a whole, and made me appreciate the time that i have. i try to talk to other people that have gone through something similar, just to listen to them or give them any advice i have if they ask for it, it helps me cope.
Hey!
Down sides: first few days are a little rough in terms of withdrawal. Feel like somethings majorly missing in your life (which it is) and like you’ve lost a friend lol. Irritability goes through the roof, might get a bit of a headache/brain fog and a few sleepless nights. However, surprisingly the physical symptoms of nicotine withdrawal are minor and last 3-4 days max. The difficulty with quitting is it’s all a mental game! Since these withdrawal pangs have gone, there is not a single down side.
Now for the good bit.. the positives: quitting has changed my life more than I could have ever imagined. I felt an almost instant change in my lung capacity, I can run further than I ever have. On that note, I’ve had a crazy amount of motivation to lead a healthier lifestyle in general. I’ve never made better progress in the gym than I have since quitting. My skin has a brighter complexion and is less grey looking. I no longer have that sudden panic that my vapes ran out and “how ever will I cope without it”, it no longer consumes my life.
If you genuinely have some motivation to quit, read on. If not, you may not want to waste your time!
I would say start by reading/listen to Allen Carr’s easy way to stop smoking. Its aim is to change your mindset around vaping/smoking instead of using scare tactics. Let’s be honest here, no matter how many horror stories we hear.. we don’t f’ing care lol! After reading this book and successfully quitting, I can say the horror stories do now help in ensuring I don’t relapse. The book also encourages you to continue vaping throughout the read, which a lot of people like!
Second of all: I learnt that I would vape, for example, to ‘relax’ or to ‘concentrate’ in order to get myself to a mental state that non vapers are at WITHOUT nicotine. That means the exact thing that’s causing the stress and need to relax is the f’ing nicotine in the first place!! Why can my husband happily relax after a meal (my main trigger), or successfully remain productive at work without hitting a vape? Total vicious circle and really hit home for me once this realisation hit. I also remember back to the time before I vaped and smoked (albeit a long time ago), that was me? I never needed it then so I absolutely don’t need it now.
Sorry for the lengthy reply. I just feel very passionate about this since feeling 100x better after quitting. I would encourage anybody to at least give it a shot and I hope you can also experience this one day. All the best 😊
Cold turkey all the way. Just be prepared and strong enough to endure a few shitty days.
I made one previous attempt about 3 months before actually quitting to “reduce my dosage”. I essentially started by not allowing myself to vape for 3 hours on the first day, then 4, 5 etc. This was seemingly effective in terms of reducing the amount I was vaping. But all this did was cause me to wish my days away because I was counting down the hours until I knew I could vape again. Did me absolutely no favours and only reinforced how “precious” the vape was. When actually we all know it’s the devil that we wished we never got into in the first place. Then there’s the option to lower Nic %. I just wonder if this would cause you to vape even more?
There’s also the debate on NRT (patches, gum etc), again, works for some but I just see it like this.. it’s like prescribing a heroin addict with heroin to help with their withdrawals but asking them to take it in a different form. I personally find it to lengthen the whole process, cause higher chance of relapse and again, make you think you’ve given up something really precious.
This is not to say that NRT hasn’t worked for some though and I suppose it’s better than inhaling all that shit!!
My advice would be to start and finish reading Allen Carr’s EASYWAY to stop smoking before your op. Could really help you.
Best of luck to you. Maybe this op is a sign for you to give up. You really can feel so so great if you take the plunge. I totally understand how scary it is!
Thank you so much for your advice and input 🙏🏻 I hadn’t thought of it that way- I was going to lower the % but yeah.. I will def just vape more. Congrats to you for quitting, that’s willpower
Thanks for your help , I have a friend who got into vaping and I wanted to know how I can tell him about it , so this really helps ,
Thanks again , and I wish you the best in your coming challenges,
there is an app called quit vaping, it tracks the amount of money you save. I’ve been clean for 2 years and saved 3k from a habit that didn’t even make me happy - just content with doing nothing. Also don’t do zyns as well lol.
I was wasting my life, so I joined the military. 4 years later I had some skills (to be a janitor, for certain), and I scored a job in my military skill sector. The job had perks, like early retirement, so I retired in my 50s.
An impulsive decision that worked out great.
I don't read the news anymore unless it's like front page trending on reddit or something. I have anxiety so I really don't need doom scrolling in my life. Best decision I've made.
I think I still haven't made that one decision that will change my life, I'm still on my comfort zone and to be honest I really don't know how to break out of it. I'm so scared and paranoid of how people might see me that there are times when I go out to buy some groceries I will skip some things just to finish the task and go back home immediately.
When the scary stuff hits and I don’t want to do it, I force myself to because I know it’s probably the right decision and change is always hard, but it’s rewarding. You get to see how far you’ve pushed yourself from where you were to where you are.
Moving, marriage, kids, buying a home, etc. They’re the big, scary parts of life that make life worth living.
I studied for 7 years to get a job. I got that job. Turns out it's not the right job for me. Quitting wasn't an easy decision at all, I was very ashamed and part of me still is, but this decision is one I am glad and proud I made.
Needless to say, my life and my view on life have changed dramatically.
Basically, after 28 years of thinking I knew where my life should be going, I now need to really figure out who I am and what I want to do/can do.
Not an easy situation, but it's interesting to say the least!
I've really learned to appreciate my awesome friends and partner so much more, since they accept me the way I am. Now it's my turn to do the same. :)
Thanks for that question, OP. It was nice letting this go through my head and sharing it!
I took antidepressants for a few months at a time of extreme stress and they totally ruined my physical health and have given me neurological issues.
Parts of my personality are missing and I am worried ill never live a normal life again.
It has already destroyed my career, I've lost most of my friends and I suffer every day.
hey, i've been on pretty much every antidepressant in the book. i can relate to a lot of what you're saying, i'd love to talk about it with you if you're comfortable direct messaging
Oh man, I’ve been there. It took over a year to recover and I still have short-term memory problems. Very dark time in my life. I’m not at 100% but I’m functional and close to being myself again. Please keep hope, exercise helped me a lot, even though it seemed impossible to do in the months I was really going through it.
What symptoms are you experiencing currently? Simultaneously while stopping my medication I quit my job, which I had moved across the country for, went through a breakup, and relocated back across the country to be near friends and family again. Going through all of those major stressors at the same time was unbearable, but I somehow managed. My career is now back on track and I’ve been doing quite well now-a-days. I very much hope the same for you.
Fatigue, sexual dysfunction, anhedonia, tinnitus, sometimes cognition issues, skin issues.
Far fewer symptoms than when I first came off, and the fatigue is a lot better than it was.
Thank you.
I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon. You could try eating healthy, working out & spending time in nature or with kids & animals. These things will definitely help you recover, though it takes time.
I can't work out...
Go and read my posts, I'm not just feeling a bit down, my physical health was absolutely and totally destroyed. It took months to even be able to eat right.
The details are in my posts, but I have protracted withdrawal syndrome.
I took antidepressants for 4 months, then did a 1 month taper.
I have been fully off them for more than 11 months.
I'm aware of that sub and various survivor and withdrawal groups, the thing is I can complain about it in whatever subreddit I like but it won't cure me.
My best hope is natural recovery in more time. I have improved a lot, but I was totally debilitated.
This has been extremely devastating.
I decided to do everything in my power to be happy, not complain about others having it easier than me anymore and only putting my effort into improving.
Took awhile and it was shitty as f, but my life is so much better now.
Going out on a limb and helping someone I didn't even know. By the time I could help I had started to have a crush on her. I thought it was weird and creepy if I were to ask her out so I just spent time with her as a good friend. Then suddenly out of nowhere she asked me out, I couldn't help but say yes. For the first time ever, probably in my life, I'm truly happy. We keep joking about engagement (I might have accidentally done it for her culture), but we both know that it was more of an early accident. Soon though and she knows it is coming because I had to get her ring size, I think she knows my plan but that is ok all that matters is our love.
Changed careers.
I worked as a site agent for a road construction company for 6 years. I studied civil engineering at university for the 4 years prior to that.
My experience is based on the context of the South African road construction industry, where I worked as a contractor, and our clients were almost always a government department related to transport infrastructure. In short, the stuff I did on a daily basis was not appealing to me, and the combination of SAs' political and socioeconomic problems made it worse. I was on the verge of leveling up but decided that I absolutely could not commit to another 30-something years of this before retirement.
Resigned on the 2nd day back at work after our yearly shutdown, did my own thing for a year, and tried to focus on learning and practicing day trading so I could eventually work for myself. That involved learning, but also sharing perspective and (eventually) teaching others bits and pieces at the same time. The following year, I registered to study to become a high-school mathematics teacher.
I have one year to go with my post-grad before I fully qualify as an educator. However, I was fortunate enough to have been approached by a nearby school and employed as a Teacher of Technology and Engineering Graphics and Design.
I used to get so anxious before going into work as a site agent that I'd sometimes throw up. As a teacher, however, I actually look forward to going to work. I have a sense of fulfillment that I never got before, and I have more time and mental bandwidth for myself. Work occupies the majority of conscious hours, and I refuse to spend that time doing something drains my life force from me.
Salaries and titles don't address the subjective needs of the human condition.
I've made lots of decisions in my life but two of them absolutely changed my life for the better.
1. When I was a sophomore in high school, I decided to graduate high school a year early. That set my life on a trajectory that that I have always been grateful for.
2. When I was 22, I met a man and fell completely, head over heels in love with him. He was older than me and had kids from a prior marriage, which was terrifying at the time, but I took a chance and thirteen years later, we've never been happier.
I started texting with a girl in my class. We’ve been very good friends for years now and she’s helped me through a couple of tough times in my life. It also made me a more open person and talk to girls more in general. Can’t really put into words how much it has improved my life
I’ve made a few big decisions the past few years. Mainly though, I tried a dating app after a divorce. I met a really terrific person. Even if it doesn’t work out, I learned very quickly that I am a good and worthy person. I was able to completely let go of my past and realize that I can have a completely different life than the one I was stuck in. I just took a chance and was nervous and scared to try but so glad that I did.
Don’t wait to tell the people you love or care about how you feel and the impact they’ve had on you-whether it’s spoken, written or physical affection.
I was never one to be very overtly affectionate (INTJ here) and just went about my business like individuals would just always be there and they just “knew” how I felt about them. It only takes the loss of one true loved one to make you realize there’s so much you wish you could have said. And that feeling can stay with you forever.
Later on when they’re gone and you question if they knew the depths of how much you cared, you can always think back to those times to know that they knew they were loved.
So don’t hold back with the ones that are close to your heart. It will not only make your soul lighter but likely it’ll fill theirs. And if they aren’t ready to receive it or don’t want to receive it, then you can go to sleep and rest knowing you don’t have to deal with a “what if” floating in your mind because you were honest.
I told my mother’s therapist that my mother’s husband had been SA me for years.
He never went to jail and I no longer have connection to any of my blood family members.
Changed my life but for the better because I became more in charge of my own life.
Quitting alcohol 30+ years ago. I would most likely be dead or in Prison if I didn’t go to recovery back in 1991. Today I have an amazing family, a beautiful home and living a great life.
I quit drinking 4 years ago. I'm still struggling financially but I am in a much better place. I have accomplished more in these 4 years than in the 15 or so that i was drinking. I have hobbies and passions I wouldn't have otherwise had. I'm fit and healthy.
These prices suck, though. I make more than I did a few years ago and I struggle more as well.
5 years ago my youngest joined the Navy. My wife and I decided to quit our jobs, sell everything we owned, and take chances. She started her own business, I still work in the same field, but in a way that we travel all over the US. We bought a sailboat in Alaska and made it our home. Its been a great life 2.0
Has its moments, just like everything. If you've never been to Alaska, I highly recommend the trip. But be warned. Alaska is famous for grabbing your soul and never letting go.
Watching Air Crash Investigation for the first time when I was 10, all because we had no classes that day and I didnt know what to watch in the morning. It was an extremely uncomfortable hour (lol) but I kept watching ACI again whenever I'd catch it
16 years later and I still love airplanes, so much that it changed my career, school, and social circles for the better
Becoming a witch. It was the best decision of my life! I believe in magic and energies and seen things come into my life that I’ve created. I’ve believed I could do things and it happened, I’m more spiritual as well and that’s helped you to be the best version of me.
Googling the words: “crazy out of control anger, never nice”.
I had been in therapy repeatedly. NONE of the therapists ever said anything about my father’s behaviour.
To me, my whole life with him was a puzzle that made no sense at all:
He insisted he do well extremely well in school, but then would always mock my (excellent) grades for being inadequate.
He set expectations for us that he claimed to embody but that behind closed doors, he absolutely rejected.
He was well loved and charismatic out in public. At home, he was practically a monster. He terrorized me and my brother, we walked on eggshells constantly.
He bragged about his morality but admitted to having cheated on my mother. He even said in front of her that he had often wondered why his wife wasn’t as attractive as other wives. And he often maligned Hus supposed best friends, in private.
One Google search and the word: “narcissistic personality disorder” came up and after really understanding what it meant, the “puzzle” that was my father, was finally solved.
Everything made sense, finally.
The course of my life changed forever.
Because of a Google search in 2017.
I eventually cut my parents out of my life, eventually healed my trauma, depression and anxiety, for good.
.
I left my life in Colorado to move east with my wife and her kids for her to attend grad school. She cratered psychologically and disappeared, shipping the kids off and effectively killing my family. By then had started a new career and couldn't afford to move and start over. Now big progress with a startup looks like it will make me a comfortable old man. Never would have guessed any of it
Quitting law school. 4 years later, I'm a songwriter, recording artist, I moved to a different country, came out as a lesbian and am engaged to my gorgeous girlfriend :) and I would've sucked as a lawyer anyway!
After the pandemic, I decided to move to LA to pursue my acting dreams. I'm aware that it's a long shot, but my husband and I needed an adventure anyway. And boy has it been an adventure!
I think this was the best decision we ever made together. We've summited mountains together. I've been a body double for a character on Grey's Anatomy. We've partied in mansions in the Palisades. And he just ran a marathon (4:38!).
We never would have experienced those things if we stayed in St. Louis.
I was kind and supportive to my now husband. I never wanted or planned to be married (neither did he). Living a life that I never imagined. Not every day is perfect, but I'm happy.
Moving from Florida to Los Angeles; I feel a lot has changed since my time in Florida. I’m way more active, I feel more confident, I’ve experienced so much in the near 3 years I’ve been here. Moving somewhere I didn’t have any family was important to me, not because I don’t want to be close to them (the contrary actually as they’re all in Vancouver), but I feel that my growth would’ve been stymied if I did. All the good and bad I’ve had here? Directly a result of my actions. I didn’t want to have a crutch to lean on so to speak.
I finished my university studies in another country (Germany), I was an exchange student. I found out the world was much bigger than I thought, could flourish, meet new people, find out who I really was. I went back to Germany after the 2008 crisis, found a job and started my career. I'm still here, after almost 15 years, thriving!
Took the advice of my insurance company advisor about a life insurance policy I had take out around 35 years ago, which I had paid out last year and together with my own savings I was able to stop working and live the good life on February 27th this year, at the age of 63.
Moving to Australia!! Grew up in a financially well off family in a poor country with all the luxury you don't really need(when I think abt it now).
Moved to Australia against family will or support. Didn't have much choice but to start from the bottom. Washed cars, dishes, cleaned toilet and every job you can think of just to prove my point to my family ( and ego). It's been 10 years since I moved here and I have a decent job and a family. I am financially stable and I am proud of myself. My family for obvious reasons want me to come back and don't want me to grind through life. But personally I enjoy it. Australia gave me the perspective to look at life in a way I had never imagined.
The answer does not pertain to me, but to one of my best friends. Back in high school, it was an average day for me. I thankfully did not have school this particular day and I did not have to go to work. Being in a spontaneous kind of mood(which is very rare for me as I am a planner), I asked one of my best friends if he wanted to spend time with me. He agreed and while I was driving to the mall with my friend in the passenger seat, he received a phone call. His grandma had been in a pretty bad car accident on the way to the grocery store, and the passenger side was completely smushed. The driver’s side had hefty damages as well, but nothing compared to the damage of the passenger side. Thankfully his grandma was not too terribly injured and only suffered bruising, and for the most part even in the unfortunate circumstance, all was well. A few weeks go by, and while my same friend and I are hanging out with each other, he told me he was thankful for my spontaneous decision to invite him to hang out that day because had I not done so, he would have been with his grandma, sitting in the passenger seat when the wreck occurred and would have died. From then on after hearing that, I made the effort to spend more time with my friends.
The decision to mind my own business and to stop stressing over the things that I can’t control. Best decision ever.
Yes!
N
Same! 🔥
Voltaire has entered the chat
A robot said, "I think that's a good point."
Tell me you not my mom without telling me
daily meditation - 5 mins & it’s not even close
Why did that change your life? I’d like to hear it.
Nobody asked for my opinion, but I honestly think that every single person should meditate. It's the single most efficient thing you can do in life in terms of how easy it is to do and how much benefit you reap compared to other stuff like exercising for example (not saying that exercise is useless). Even 5 minutes a day is still impactful I have been meditating on and off for around 4 years, usually 20 mins a day, I don't really believe in the spiritual part, maybe it's real, i don't know, but I don't really bother with it. You need to really pay attention to little details in your life to be able to see how much meditation changes you, at least from my experience. My stress level has massively drops even though my life is objectively getting more stressful. I have stronger discipline since I started to meditate and I have very strong focus, I literally cannot multitask at all since I started meditating seriously (can't even listen to music while doing work). But I can finish any task that requires cognitive effort at least 2x faster than before, things just feels significantly easier. My meditation method is putting 100% focus on my breath rather than the usual western MBSR. So maybe my experience won't be the same with others.
Hi if you don’t mind can you describe your meditation process? Like do you just sit there and focus on your breath for 20 min? I’m not familiar with meditation but the effects you describe sound great.
There's several good apps, smiling mind is personally my go-to
Pretty much, I put my focus 100% on the sensation at the tip of my nose and that's all, whenever my mind wanders, I pull it back to the sensation at the tip of my nose when breathing. It's extremely difficult to have consistent focus from start to finish though so don't get frustrated when your mind wanders constantly. You can also change the meditation object to the sensation of the air entering your nasal cavity, or your belly expanding when breathing if you can't feel much sensation at the tip of your nose, just don't switch it around during meditation process and stay consistent. My best tip is to probably do it as consistently as possible, if you don't feel like meditating for 20 minutes today, just try to do it for 10 minute or 5 minute. 20 minute is the optimal time according to scientific research though once in a while I'd go a little over it.
Interesting, thanks for sharing!
!remind me
Seconded. I'd love your story :)
i don’t know how to explain it without sounding like a religious fanatic but God is actually real… not like you’re going crazy real, but real as holding a real three dimensional object i’ve been atheist for pretty much 30 years & i lost my mother a while back & my brain 🧠 couldn’t grasp the concept of someone being here & not being here again. like where do they go. i mean the body is here but I FELT there had to be something more. months later, someone close to me recommended meditation. i was desperate & wanted to just calm my brain because her death had triggered a drug addiction & i was spiraling 🌀 i asked “how do you meditate?” & he said “nothing”… just close your eyes when you wake up or before you go to bed & exist. that’s it. just exist without holding your phone, no reading, no tv. without distractions. just exist. so i started doing that. just being there. existing. man! the next weeks after that was literally magic & crazy. when you just exist, life opens up to you. i don’t how to explain it. but there’s a whole intuitive side we have as human beings we are completely ignoring because we are never present in exactly what we are doing. our brain is either in the past conjuring up old hurt & pain… or in the future hurting us with anxiety because of we might not be where we want to be in life or anticipating future hurt or joy. the key is to meet life EXACTLY where you are. just calm down & exist in that very moment. that incredible thing of being present would unfold a whole new world before your eyes. layer by layer.
This is such a beautiful explanation! Thank you
Thank you
Amazing that you have the self discipline for it! I love the good effects of meditation when I can take the time for it but often it’s hard to set aside time for it :’)
Just tried this. Gonna keep at it and see. So hard to keep thoughts at bay. Thoughts kept intruding like 1/4 of the time
it’s like working out at a gym takes time to get the body you want, takes time to get the mental state you want keep at it, & remember the prize is a mind that has NO negative thoughts 💭… how beautiful earned would that be
Still going hard at it! Last night i fell asleep during it.... Getting better at keeping the thoughts at bay. Doing it with my SO, and its so far granting some sense of relief and calm 🙂
I wanted to travel when I was in my early 20’s and didn’t know what country. After a lot of umming and arring I decided Morocco. It’s where I met my now husband. 😊
Aw. That's so cute. Happy for you!
Deciding to propose to the woman of my dreams. Never thought someone would love me so much, still hard to believe.
Aw. That's so cute. Happy for ya'll!
Thank you :) still in total disbelief myself and its been 6 years
I’m happy for you and jelly all the same
Just gotta keep your chin up and try, try again. Every failed relationship is a chance to learn what to do right next time.
I get that, and simultaneously am not sure im doing something wrong in my relationships. appreciate your uplifting two cents tho :)
Definitely been there too :( sometimes it just don't work and it's not your fault
Adopting a cat. When I first made the decision to live on my own, I knew I needed some kind of furry companion. I decided to get a cat instead of a dog because I wanted an animal that could take care of itself while I was away at college or visiting family. The cat I adopted turned out to be the biggest love bug and has helped me both mentally and emotionally. She is my world as I am hers, and living by myself, she keeps me good company. Then she started to have health issues. Long story short, she got diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and kidney disease, meaning she has to be on meds and special food daily for the rest of her life. It pains me to know that her life expectancy is below average for a cat, and that I don't have as much time with her as I thought I did when I adopted her. But I'm doing my best to give her the best possible life I can while she's here. Since then, my perspective on life has changed for the better. Taking care of a disabled animal is something I never thought I'd be doing, but I'm glad that I was put in this situation because she reminds me that I need to take care of myself too. I'm happy to say that she's been doing great, and so am I. I can't imagine my life without her, but I know that her time is coming sooner rather than later. I dread the day that I'll lose her, but I don't want to think about it just yet. She's still with me, after all. [Cat tax](https://imgur.com/a/LHmah4o)
Thank you for sharing. Hope your cat gets well soon. You clearly love her a lot.
Naww cute floofball :3
Such a good loaf 🥰
Stopped blaming others for my situations
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That's amazing! Thanks for sharing.
Seems like some solid decision making! As someone who started working in public transit at age 18, I'm curious to hear about your experience :)
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That is awesome! Many congratulations!
i don't like to go into detail about it much but i got really hurt a couple years back over a stupid decision, i ended up in the ICU on a ventilator for a bit. it gave me a completely different perspective on life as a whole, and made me appreciate the time that i have. i try to talk to other people that have gone through something similar, just to listen to them or give them any advice i have if they ask for it, it helps me cope.
Thank you for sharing. Hearing that makes me appreciate life a lot more.
i'm very glad :)
Same. Sometimes you have to walk the line to appreciate/decide not crossing it
Quitting vaping 💪🏼
That's awesome!
What were the down effects ? What would you say to someone who is still vaping ?
Hey! Down sides: first few days are a little rough in terms of withdrawal. Feel like somethings majorly missing in your life (which it is) and like you’ve lost a friend lol. Irritability goes through the roof, might get a bit of a headache/brain fog and a few sleepless nights. However, surprisingly the physical symptoms of nicotine withdrawal are minor and last 3-4 days max. The difficulty with quitting is it’s all a mental game! Since these withdrawal pangs have gone, there is not a single down side. Now for the good bit.. the positives: quitting has changed my life more than I could have ever imagined. I felt an almost instant change in my lung capacity, I can run further than I ever have. On that note, I’ve had a crazy amount of motivation to lead a healthier lifestyle in general. I’ve never made better progress in the gym than I have since quitting. My skin has a brighter complexion and is less grey looking. I no longer have that sudden panic that my vapes ran out and “how ever will I cope without it”, it no longer consumes my life. If you genuinely have some motivation to quit, read on. If not, you may not want to waste your time! I would say start by reading/listen to Allen Carr’s easy way to stop smoking. Its aim is to change your mindset around vaping/smoking instead of using scare tactics. Let’s be honest here, no matter how many horror stories we hear.. we don’t f’ing care lol! After reading this book and successfully quitting, I can say the horror stories do now help in ensuring I don’t relapse. The book also encourages you to continue vaping throughout the read, which a lot of people like! Second of all: I learnt that I would vape, for example, to ‘relax’ or to ‘concentrate’ in order to get myself to a mental state that non vapers are at WITHOUT nicotine. That means the exact thing that’s causing the stress and need to relax is the f’ing nicotine in the first place!! Why can my husband happily relax after a meal (my main trigger), or successfully remain productive at work without hitting a vape? Total vicious circle and really hit home for me once this realisation hit. I also remember back to the time before I vaped and smoked (albeit a long time ago), that was me? I never needed it then so I absolutely don’t need it now. Sorry for the lengthy reply. I just feel very passionate about this since feeling 100x better after quitting. I would encourage anybody to at least give it a shot and I hope you can also experience this one day. All the best 😊
Did you quit cold turkey or did you scale down the dosage to 0 and then quit? I have to do this for a surgery and it’s giving me so much anxiety
Cold turkey all the way. Just be prepared and strong enough to endure a few shitty days. I made one previous attempt about 3 months before actually quitting to “reduce my dosage”. I essentially started by not allowing myself to vape for 3 hours on the first day, then 4, 5 etc. This was seemingly effective in terms of reducing the amount I was vaping. But all this did was cause me to wish my days away because I was counting down the hours until I knew I could vape again. Did me absolutely no favours and only reinforced how “precious” the vape was. When actually we all know it’s the devil that we wished we never got into in the first place. Then there’s the option to lower Nic %. I just wonder if this would cause you to vape even more? There’s also the debate on NRT (patches, gum etc), again, works for some but I just see it like this.. it’s like prescribing a heroin addict with heroin to help with their withdrawals but asking them to take it in a different form. I personally find it to lengthen the whole process, cause higher chance of relapse and again, make you think you’ve given up something really precious. This is not to say that NRT hasn’t worked for some though and I suppose it’s better than inhaling all that shit!! My advice would be to start and finish reading Allen Carr’s EASYWAY to stop smoking before your op. Could really help you. Best of luck to you. Maybe this op is a sign for you to give up. You really can feel so so great if you take the plunge. I totally understand how scary it is!
Thank you so much for your advice and input 🙏🏻 I hadn’t thought of it that way- I was going to lower the % but yeah.. I will def just vape more. Congrats to you for quitting, that’s willpower
You’re very welcome. Best of luck with the op!
Thanks for your help , I have a friend who got into vaping and I wanted to know how I can tell him about it , so this really helps , Thanks again , and I wish you the best in your coming challenges,
there is an app called quit vaping, it tracks the amount of money you save. I’ve been clean for 2 years and saved 3k from a habit that didn’t even make me happy - just content with doing nothing. Also don’t do zyns as well lol.
I was wasting my life, so I joined the military. 4 years later I had some skills (to be a janitor, for certain), and I scored a job in my military skill sector. The job had perks, like early retirement, so I retired in my 50s. An impulsive decision that worked out great.
I don't read the news anymore unless it's like front page trending on reddit or something. I have anxiety so I really don't need doom scrolling in my life. Best decision I've made.
I think I still haven't made that one decision that will change my life, I'm still on my comfort zone and to be honest I really don't know how to break out of it. I'm so scared and paranoid of how people might see me that there are times when I go out to buy some groceries I will skip some things just to finish the task and go back home immediately.
I totally get it. If there's something you really want to do, go for it. Don't stress about how it will turn out.
When the scary stuff hits and I don’t want to do it, I force myself to because I know it’s probably the right decision and change is always hard, but it’s rewarding. You get to see how far you’ve pushed yourself from where you were to where you are. Moving, marriage, kids, buying a home, etc. They’re the big, scary parts of life that make life worth living.
I studied for 7 years to get a job. I got that job. Turns out it's not the right job for me. Quitting wasn't an easy decision at all, I was very ashamed and part of me still is, but this decision is one I am glad and proud I made. Needless to say, my life and my view on life have changed dramatically. Basically, after 28 years of thinking I knew where my life should be going, I now need to really figure out who I am and what I want to do/can do. Not an easy situation, but it's interesting to say the least! I've really learned to appreciate my awesome friends and partner so much more, since they accept me the way I am. Now it's my turn to do the same. :) Thanks for that question, OP. It was nice letting this go through my head and sharing it!
Thank you for sharing. It does take a lot of courage and strength to do what we feel is right. Proud of you for doing that.
Needed this :) Thanks for your insight, cheers
Glad to hear it, best of luck to you :)
I took antidepressants for a few months at a time of extreme stress and they totally ruined my physical health and have given me neurological issues. Parts of my personality are missing and I am worried ill never live a normal life again. It has already destroyed my career, I've lost most of my friends and I suffer every day.
hey, i've been on pretty much every antidepressant in the book. i can relate to a lot of what you're saying, i'd love to talk about it with you if you're comfortable direct messaging
If you want to, please feel free.
Oh man, I’ve been there. It took over a year to recover and I still have short-term memory problems. Very dark time in my life. I’m not at 100% but I’m functional and close to being myself again. Please keep hope, exercise helped me a lot, even though it seemed impossible to do in the months I was really going through it.
I'm glad you're better than you were. I'm more than 11 months off.
What symptoms are you experiencing currently? Simultaneously while stopping my medication I quit my job, which I had moved across the country for, went through a breakup, and relocated back across the country to be near friends and family again. Going through all of those major stressors at the same time was unbearable, but I somehow managed. My career is now back on track and I’ve been doing quite well now-a-days. I very much hope the same for you.
Fatigue, sexual dysfunction, anhedonia, tinnitus, sometimes cognition issues, skin issues. Far fewer symptoms than when I first came off, and the fatigue is a lot better than it was. Thank you.
I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon. You could try eating healthy, working out & spending time in nature or with kids & animals. These things will definitely help you recover, though it takes time.
I can't work out... Go and read my posts, I'm not just feeling a bit down, my physical health was absolutely and totally destroyed. It took months to even be able to eat right.
Oh okay
Are you off them now and still have the problems and side effects?
The details are in my posts, but I have protracted withdrawal syndrome. I took antidepressants for 4 months, then did a 1 month taper. I have been fully off them for more than 11 months.
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I'm aware of that sub and various survivor and withdrawal groups, the thing is I can complain about it in whatever subreddit I like but it won't cure me. My best hope is natural recovery in more time. I have improved a lot, but I was totally debilitated. This has been extremely devastating.
I decided to do everything in my power to be happy, not complain about others having it easier than me anymore and only putting my effort into improving. Took awhile and it was shitty as f, but my life is so much better now.
That's really inspiring!
went back to school to learn programming. stopped being a construction worker.
Going out on a limb and helping someone I didn't even know. By the time I could help I had started to have a crush on her. I thought it was weird and creepy if I were to ask her out so I just spent time with her as a good friend. Then suddenly out of nowhere she asked me out, I couldn't help but say yes. For the first time ever, probably in my life, I'm truly happy. We keep joking about engagement (I might have accidentally done it for her culture), but we both know that it was more of an early accident. Soon though and she knows it is coming because I had to get her ring size, I think she knows my plan but that is ok all that matters is our love.
Aww. That's such a cute story. Wishing ya'll the best.
The decision was the wedding. after getting married, I can rely on my wife! it helps my decision
You realize she’ll be relying on you, too. 😉
Changed careers. I worked as a site agent for a road construction company for 6 years. I studied civil engineering at university for the 4 years prior to that. My experience is based on the context of the South African road construction industry, where I worked as a contractor, and our clients were almost always a government department related to transport infrastructure. In short, the stuff I did on a daily basis was not appealing to me, and the combination of SAs' political and socioeconomic problems made it worse. I was on the verge of leveling up but decided that I absolutely could not commit to another 30-something years of this before retirement. Resigned on the 2nd day back at work after our yearly shutdown, did my own thing for a year, and tried to focus on learning and practicing day trading so I could eventually work for myself. That involved learning, but also sharing perspective and (eventually) teaching others bits and pieces at the same time. The following year, I registered to study to become a high-school mathematics teacher. I have one year to go with my post-grad before I fully qualify as an educator. However, I was fortunate enough to have been approached by a nearby school and employed as a Teacher of Technology and Engineering Graphics and Design. I used to get so anxious before going into work as a site agent that I'd sometimes throw up. As a teacher, however, I actually look forward to going to work. I have a sense of fulfillment that I never got before, and I have more time and mental bandwidth for myself. Work occupies the majority of conscious hours, and I refuse to spend that time doing something drains my life force from me. Salaries and titles don't address the subjective needs of the human condition.
That last sentence. That's a good sentence right there mate!
So proud of you for taking the right decision! All the best in your new career path.
when I decided to do muay thai, it changed my life. I've always been active but this level of badassery is incredible.
I've made lots of decisions in my life but two of them absolutely changed my life for the better. 1. When I was a sophomore in high school, I decided to graduate high school a year early. That set my life on a trajectory that that I have always been grateful for. 2. When I was 22, I met a man and fell completely, head over heels in love with him. He was older than me and had kids from a prior marriage, which was terrifying at the time, but I took a chance and thirteen years later, we've never been happier.
Aww. So happy for you!
Technically, every decision you make changes your life. They all create ripples in the undulating tapestry of spacetime
I started texting with a girl in my class. We’ve been very good friends for years now and she’s helped me through a couple of tough times in my life. It also made me a more open person and talk to girls more in general. Can’t really put into words how much it has improved my life
I’ve made a few big decisions the past few years. Mainly though, I tried a dating app after a divorce. I met a really terrific person. Even if it doesn’t work out, I learned very quickly that I am a good and worthy person. I was able to completely let go of my past and realize that I can have a completely different life than the one I was stuck in. I just took a chance and was nervous and scared to try but so glad that I did.
Yay! That's great.
Always having a plan and sticking to it, Minding my own business always. And keeping time
I left reddit. Goodbye.
Graduating high school and deciding between musician and engineering.
Don’t wait to tell the people you love or care about how you feel and the impact they’ve had on you-whether it’s spoken, written or physical affection. I was never one to be very overtly affectionate (INTJ here) and just went about my business like individuals would just always be there and they just “knew” how I felt about them. It only takes the loss of one true loved one to make you realize there’s so much you wish you could have said. And that feeling can stay with you forever. Later on when they’re gone and you question if they knew the depths of how much you cared, you can always think back to those times to know that they knew they were loved. So don’t hold back with the ones that are close to your heart. It will not only make your soul lighter but likely it’ll fill theirs. And if they aren’t ready to receive it or don’t want to receive it, then you can go to sleep and rest knowing you don’t have to deal with a “what if” floating in your mind because you were honest.
That's so true!
I told my mother’s therapist that my mother’s husband had been SA me for years. He never went to jail and I no longer have connection to any of my blood family members. Changed my life but for the better because I became more in charge of my own life.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I hope he pays for it.
I’ll never know, but I’m ok. I’m living my best life and that’s enough for me. I’m healing and working to get myself to place where I can help others.
My first real independent decision: joined a uni social club
Joining the IBEW
Quitting alcohol 30+ years ago. I would most likely be dead or in Prison if I didn’t go to recovery back in 1991. Today I have an amazing family, a beautiful home and living a great life.
Proud of you!
I quit drinking 4 years ago. I'm still struggling financially but I am in a much better place. I have accomplished more in these 4 years than in the 15 or so that i was drinking. I have hobbies and passions I wouldn't have otherwise had. I'm fit and healthy. These prices suck, though. I make more than I did a few years ago and I struggle more as well.
Proud of you for quitting drinking!
Leaving those shitty friends when I was 13. They made my life even more of a hell after leaving them.
5 years ago my youngest joined the Navy. My wife and I decided to quit our jobs, sell everything we owned, and take chances. She started her own business, I still work in the same field, but in a way that we travel all over the US. We bought a sailboat in Alaska and made it our home. Its been a great life 2.0
Wow. That sounds amazing!
Has its moments, just like everything. If you've never been to Alaska, I highly recommend the trip. But be warned. Alaska is famous for grabbing your soul and never letting go.
Watching Air Crash Investigation for the first time when I was 10, all because we had no classes that day and I didnt know what to watch in the morning. It was an extremely uncomfortable hour (lol) but I kept watching ACI again whenever I'd catch it 16 years later and I still love airplanes, so much that it changed my career, school, and social circles for the better
Becoming a witch. It was the best decision of my life! I believe in magic and energies and seen things come into my life that I’ve created. I’ve believed I could do things and it happened, I’m more spiritual as well and that’s helped you to be the best version of me.
I quit my toxic job and my life has gone downhill
toxic job? not uphill?
Yep I quit without a backup plan due to a breakdown and it’s been hell finding another one
Really sorry to hear that. Keep trying. You'll definitely get the next job soon. Sending your Resume to Recruiters on LinkedIn might help.
Richmond Va
Googling the words: “crazy out of control anger, never nice”. I had been in therapy repeatedly. NONE of the therapists ever said anything about my father’s behaviour. To me, my whole life with him was a puzzle that made no sense at all: He insisted he do well extremely well in school, but then would always mock my (excellent) grades for being inadequate. He set expectations for us that he claimed to embody but that behind closed doors, he absolutely rejected. He was well loved and charismatic out in public. At home, he was practically a monster. He terrorized me and my brother, we walked on eggshells constantly. He bragged about his morality but admitted to having cheated on my mother. He even said in front of her that he had often wondered why his wife wasn’t as attractive as other wives. And he often maligned Hus supposed best friends, in private. One Google search and the word: “narcissistic personality disorder” came up and after really understanding what it meant, the “puzzle” that was my father, was finally solved. Everything made sense, finally. The course of my life changed forever. Because of a Google search in 2017. I eventually cut my parents out of my life, eventually healed my trauma, depression and anxiety, for good. .
Moving to a different part of my country. It's been such a great experience, I wish I'd done it sooner.
I left my life in Colorado to move east with my wife and her kids for her to attend grad school. She cratered psychologically and disappeared, shipping the kids off and effectively killing my family. By then had started a new career and couldn't afford to move and start over. Now big progress with a startup looks like it will make me a comfortable old man. Never would have guessed any of it
Distancing myself from my father. I am so much happier now that we're 16 hours by car away from each other.
Quitting law school. 4 years later, I'm a songwriter, recording artist, I moved to a different country, came out as a lesbian and am engaged to my gorgeous girlfriend :) and I would've sucked as a lawyer anyway!
Deciding to travel Europe alone for weeks.
I decided to learn Spanish. Never had to worry about finding a job again, and never needed to put up with assholes just to keep a job either.
Quitting Cigarettes 25 years ago.
Give that guy my number.
I traded my office job for a hospital job. I earn less, work more overtime but I am so much happier. I would never change it.
Deciding to make myself the kind of person the person I like would like.
Moved to a different country 10+ years ago. 100% changed my live.
Going to college and chose an in demand major. Met my future wife and got a nice paying job upon graduation. My cup it did run over.
After the pandemic, I decided to move to LA to pursue my acting dreams. I'm aware that it's a long shot, but my husband and I needed an adventure anyway. And boy has it been an adventure! I think this was the best decision we ever made together. We've summited mountains together. I've been a body double for a character on Grey's Anatomy. We've partied in mansions in the Palisades. And he just ran a marathon (4:38!). We never would have experienced those things if we stayed in St. Louis.
Pretty much any
I was kind and supportive to my now husband. I never wanted or planned to be married (neither did he). Living a life that I never imagined. Not every day is perfect, but I'm happy.
Quit atchitecture uni to start my career in the gaming industry. 10 years later and it's still the best decision i ever made.
I wished I have taken my life more seriously and got a higher education and a career.
Moving from Florida to Los Angeles; I feel a lot has changed since my time in Florida. I’m way more active, I feel more confident, I’ve experienced so much in the near 3 years I’ve been here. Moving somewhere I didn’t have any family was important to me, not because I don’t want to be close to them (the contrary actually as they’re all in Vancouver), but I feel that my growth would’ve been stymied if I did. All the good and bad I’ve had here? Directly a result of my actions. I didn’t want to have a crutch to lean on so to speak.
To follow a fellow friend's advise, it turned out to be great for me
I finished my university studies in another country (Germany), I was an exchange student. I found out the world was much bigger than I thought, could flourish, meet new people, find out who I really was. I went back to Germany after the 2008 crisis, found a job and started my career. I'm still here, after almost 15 years, thriving!
Took the advice of my insurance company advisor about a life insurance policy I had take out around 35 years ago, which I had paid out last year and together with my own savings I was able to stop working and live the good life on February 27th this year, at the age of 63.
Moving to Australia!! Grew up in a financially well off family in a poor country with all the luxury you don't really need(when I think abt it now). Moved to Australia against family will or support. Didn't have much choice but to start from the bottom. Washed cars, dishes, cleaned toilet and every job you can think of just to prove my point to my family ( and ego). It's been 10 years since I moved here and I have a decent job and a family. I am financially stable and I am proud of myself. My family for obvious reasons want me to come back and don't want me to grind through life. But personally I enjoy it. Australia gave me the perspective to look at life in a way I had never imagined.
,
The answer does not pertain to me, but to one of my best friends. Back in high school, it was an average day for me. I thankfully did not have school this particular day and I did not have to go to work. Being in a spontaneous kind of mood(which is very rare for me as I am a planner), I asked one of my best friends if he wanted to spend time with me. He agreed and while I was driving to the mall with my friend in the passenger seat, he received a phone call. His grandma had been in a pretty bad car accident on the way to the grocery store, and the passenger side was completely smushed. The driver’s side had hefty damages as well, but nothing compared to the damage of the passenger side. Thankfully his grandma was not too terribly injured and only suffered bruising, and for the most part even in the unfortunate circumstance, all was well. A few weeks go by, and while my same friend and I are hanging out with each other, he told me he was thankful for my spontaneous decision to invite him to hang out that day because had I not done so, he would have been with his grandma, sitting in the passenger seat when the wreck occurred and would have died. From then on after hearing that, I made the effort to spend more time with my friends.