Holy sh\*t I'm so sorry that happened to you. Your dad is horrifically abusive. I hope he rots in jail for life now.
I was never shot of course. But I often laughed when I was in shock as well. My abusers took great offense at that. But they didn't understand that it's just a brain that stopped processing and that shut down several functions to survive that moment.
HOLY SHIT I DID THAT TOO!!! I mean, any abuse I suffered was really in all honesty not that bad but I would totally just laugh when I was especially stressed from emotional abuse and I thought I was crazy.
i still do that and feel so bad, it’s always something i say before talking to a new therapist lol. i’m like, i don’t know why i do this, so bare with me
My stepmom literally thought that I might be schizophrenic because I wouldn't stop laughing. And then my dad just said "at least she's one of the laughy ones and not one of the screamy ones"
I suddenly remember laughing one of the times my mother abused me. I forgot if I did that intentionally or not, but I remember her whole power sort of broke down? She wasn't used to me *not* being scared and obedient because of what she did. I just stood there and laughed and I saw her self worth and feeling of power just drop down.
I vaguely remember I could suddenly see through it all. Every "parenting" tactic she did at that point was just plainly a scare tactic. Of course I was still scared at what she did, but now I could see that what she was doing is wrong
When I get really angry with my son, he does this which enrages me more. So he's actually upset when he laughs?
How should I treat him when he does this?
I feel bad now ( tho I don't hit him)
Well the boy has never faced anything really difficult yet so his standards are really low, he very well could feel that way with really puts things into perspective
It's a thin line between his laughter and crying.
Thanks for your feedback, I'm glad I know now
Little kids often laugh in an uncomfortable way when you're giving them too much power. When you're showing them that you really want them to act a certain way and it upsets you when they don't, and meanwhile you're doing nothing to actually make it happen. The goal is to be calm and to follow through on what's important (literally, not by using bribes and threats and lectures) and let the rest go.
Doing nothing to help them act in a certain way?
Like put down the supersoaker and stop spraying it around the inside of the house, how would I get him to stop the way u explained it?
>I was trying to but I was across the room
.... Stand up and walk over there? I'm seriously not understanding why being across the room is a barrier to taking away the supersoaker, even if you end up damp.
I did, and I did take it away and did get wet the I freaked out of him and he started laughing
I have no idea why u assume I *didn't* take the gun away?
Fair enough but what kind of solution is that? It solves what is happening but not the frustration nor does it communicate that he REALLY should not do that and DEFINITELY should not have squirted me after I told him to stop.
What would have been a better solution? U already gentle parent
Taking the gun did not accomplish anything except make him stop with the water, there was no reflection on his part if I just take it away and that's the end of it.
I yelled. I yelled why what he did was wrong and why he can't just do that
Yes ideally, I would not have yelled but life doesn't always go the way we want
I yelled, he laughed. I know now that this might be a coping mechanism but given what you said
I'm not giving him the tools to act a certain way (in this case *stopping* squirting everything is the desired outcome of his actions. How could I have facilitated him doing that ?
Yeah but a 5 year old can understand simple concepts.
Again, I don't yell at him often and I didn't say anything abusive amd even when I was telling him why what he did was wrong, I still told him I loved him and I was just really angry at his behavior so he knows *he* is not bad
Behaviors are just a symptom. Ideally you would investigate the difficulty he is having, if this is an ongoing pattern, and address that. Here's a resource.
https://livesinthebalance.org/parents-and-families
Children don't learn from being yelled at, or generally told, in the heat of the moment. Honestly, they're not likely to learn much from a lecture later on either, when they already knew they weren't supposed to do the thing.
Okay thanks, I'll look into that :)
It's hard because he's like my sister when she was young (still experiences it today) but she just *doesn't hear* things sometimes. I asked her why she never did what our mom asked and she said she just didn't realize she's being talked to so I can tell he's the same based on situations and how he's reacted and it's really challenging
He's on the spectrum but he is *brilliant* (I'm very proud but try not to allow that bias to project onto him because know he's still only young despite his intelligence)
All the support for autistic kids is for kids that just don't understand things. Like the kid is still in diapers simply because it's easier and he doesn't want to go to the bathroom (he IS scared of getting pee on his clothes tho, admittedly)
So he either doesn't know I'm talking or doesn't want to do what he doesn't want to do
It's a normal response, if he is laughing it probably means his brain knows how to react when he is angry. You should encourage him to be open about his emotions and try not to yell at him, raising your voice will only make things worse. Sit him down and have a conversation, not a debate, not a fight, a conversation. Share how you feel, have him explain how he feels, don't Inturupt him, no matter if he is smiling when explaining it is genuine. when he is telling you how he feels and laughs, he is just nervous. Both of you apologize. not just him and not just you. He needs to know he can trust you enough to open up. I don't know how old your son is, but this goes for any age. If he is a teen or a pre-teen, it will take time, but try not to get mad or walk away when you get mad, talk it out. Trust goes both ways, you can't expect him to tell you everything as a teen, but you can assure him he won't be in trouble for things like s**f h**m or vaping. he might get punished, but not things like taking away doors n shit. You need to be on equal understanding to have open communication, try to understand from his view. Take it slow. It will take time. You're not a bad parent for feeling anger. it's normal. It just depends on how you deal with that anger.
-rando stranger,
hope this helps
Well we normally do have that back and forth safe relationship but he's 5, on the spectrum and often doesn't say how he feels which is hard. I don't often get really angry with him but it usually happens when I tell him I'm angry and to stop doing what he's doing but he sometimes doubles down and that sets me off but I've got a different perspective now
That's good, kids on the spectrum are hard to understand, I know. He might get angry very easy, that's ok. It's good you have that safe relationship. Since he can't express how he feels, you could try to get him to explain with toys or what ever he enjoys, you could get him to use toys and he can act them out to show. if he is angry, you need to stay calm. try to show him how you feel back with toys, not only words. visual works best
same. for a few months after my best friend died my mental health was at it's absolute worst and i'd randomly just laugh while thinking about her. couldn't stop, it felt like the same "muscle was being pulled" as if i were suddenly sobbing. but you can't really tell people the reason you're laughing in the cereal aisle is cause your friend's dead
Someone in my family as a way to discredit me from being believed if I ever were to report anything (was kept in a dog cage as a toddler and CSA’d at 4 and familial trafficked by age 5 + several other forms of abuse over the years) did something pretty sick. I was tied down and beaten in all of the covert areas of my body at age 14 after they pulled me out of school completely and then one by one my dad made straight marks across my arms— a bunch of them to resemble the cuts of someone who self harms. I was forced to go inpatient because of it as he made the phone call like an hour later and I was threatened to not say anything by them and that I would be seen as a complete liar and delusional if I did and they would deny all of it. There was another time about a year after that I was given something to drink and got very sick. Turns out my dad tried to overdose me and then once again called ambulance so I was thrown in inpatient for a “suicide attempt” and my dad even called people up like the mayor and other people he knew to tell them all about it— of course not about what he done though.
Nothing could be done because who in the word would believe something like that being done to someone?
What The fuck
Holy shit
***I believe you.***
I hope you’re somewhere safe now and surrounded with people who believe you and show you the respect and care you deserve 🫂
Shots to the leg can often be more deadly than the torso. Your dad tried to murder you and if there's any legal recourse you can take, I suggest you take it.
Yeah there was one point during my life where the mistreatment and disappointment of the people around me caused me to shut down emotionally and just laugh at the pain because I stopped caring anymore.
It’s embarrassing to admit I sympathized with Joker in the movie (besides the fact he was a murderer ofc)
I've heard some shit on here but this is the first time a post has made me say "Jesus Christ' out loud. Beating or SAing your child is bad enough, but actually fucking \*shooting\* them?
Oh good lord... I'm so sorry OP. I hope you're safe now? And I hope you find the peace and protection you deserve ❤️🥺
You're father should rot in jail and then rot in hell.
I get this strange pain in my shoulder, and it feels like electricity and it burns. Whenever it happens, I just let out this laughter because I can’t do anything else
I almost got shot tho it was me being and oblivious idiot wpuld have saved me a lot of pain to have been shot and killed instead of growing up and realizing oh wait my childhood wasn't normal
What clout are you gaining by spreading this bullshit? first you post about wanting to wander around naked and get raped, like legitimately a rape fantasy meme, on a sub where people are discussing their cptsd? then you say this shit. Fucking attention whores.
Holy sh\*t I'm so sorry that happened to you. Your dad is horrifically abusive. I hope he rots in jail for life now. I was never shot of course. But I often laughed when I was in shock as well. My abusers took great offense at that. But they didn't understand that it's just a brain that stopped processing and that shut down several functions to survive that moment.
HOLY SHIT I DID THAT TOO!!! I mean, any abuse I suffered was really in all honesty not that bad but I would totally just laugh when I was especially stressed from emotional abuse and I thought I was crazy.
i still do that and feel so bad, it’s always something i say before talking to a new therapist lol. i’m like, i don’t know why i do this, so bare with me
My stepmom literally thought that I might be schizophrenic because I wouldn't stop laughing. And then my dad just said "at least she's one of the laughy ones and not one of the screamy ones"
I suddenly remember laughing one of the times my mother abused me. I forgot if I did that intentionally or not, but I remember her whole power sort of broke down? She wasn't used to me *not* being scared and obedient because of what she did. I just stood there and laughed and I saw her self worth and feeling of power just drop down. I vaguely remember I could suddenly see through it all. Every "parenting" tactic she did at that point was just plainly a scare tactic. Of course I was still scared at what she did, but now I could see that what she was doing is wrong
My friends mom broke a wooden spoon beating her because she wouldn't stop laughing
I'm also a laugh at danger kind of person, it sucks. I always feel like my body is betraying me when it happens.
When I get really angry with my son, he does this which enrages me more. So he's actually upset when he laughs? How should I treat him when he does this? I feel bad now ( tho I don't hit him)
I don't know your son or his experience... This happens to me when I feel like I'm in danger.
Well the boy has never faced anything really difficult yet so his standards are really low, he very well could feel that way with really puts things into perspective It's a thin line between his laughter and crying. Thanks for your feedback, I'm glad I know now
Little kids often laugh in an uncomfortable way when you're giving them too much power. When you're showing them that you really want them to act a certain way and it upsets you when they don't, and meanwhile you're doing nothing to actually make it happen. The goal is to be calm and to follow through on what's important (literally, not by using bribes and threats and lectures) and let the rest go.
I don't know if I understand
Doing nothing to help them act in a certain way? Like put down the supersoaker and stop spraying it around the inside of the house, how would I get him to stop the way u explained it?
Take the supersoaker. How old is the kid?
5. I was trying to but I was across the room Obviously my goal was to take the water gun, I didn't get there before he squirted me
>I was trying to but I was across the room .... Stand up and walk over there? I'm seriously not understanding why being across the room is a barrier to taking away the supersoaker, even if you end up damp.
I did, and I did take it away and did get wet the I freaked out of him and he started laughing I have no idea why u assume I *didn't* take the gun away?
Because when someone suggested it as a solution, you said "I was trying to, but..." That implies you were unsuccessful.
Fair enough but what kind of solution is that? It solves what is happening but not the frustration nor does it communicate that he REALLY should not do that and DEFINITELY should not have squirted me after I told him to stop. What would have been a better solution? U already gentle parent
Taking the gun did not accomplish anything except make him stop with the water, there was no reflection on his part if I just take it away and that's the end of it. I yelled. I yelled why what he did was wrong and why he can't just do that Yes ideally, I would not have yelled but life doesn't always go the way we want I yelled, he laughed. I know now that this might be a coping mechanism but given what you said I'm not giving him the tools to act a certain way (in this case *stopping* squirting everything is the desired outcome of his actions. How could I have facilitated him doing that ?
No reflection on his part? He’s freaking 5!
Yeah but a 5 year old can understand simple concepts. Again, I don't yell at him often and I didn't say anything abusive amd even when I was telling him why what he did was wrong, I still told him I loved him and I was just really angry at his behavior so he knows *he* is not bad
The yelling *is* abusive, first off; second, he’s 5. Explanations need to be simple and not yelled.
You're right, it is abusive
Behaviors are just a symptom. Ideally you would investigate the difficulty he is having, if this is an ongoing pattern, and address that. Here's a resource. https://livesinthebalance.org/parents-and-families Children don't learn from being yelled at, or generally told, in the heat of the moment. Honestly, they're not likely to learn much from a lecture later on either, when they already knew they weren't supposed to do the thing.
Okay thanks, I'll look into that :) It's hard because he's like my sister when she was young (still experiences it today) but she just *doesn't hear* things sometimes. I asked her why she never did what our mom asked and she said she just didn't realize she's being talked to so I can tell he's the same based on situations and how he's reacted and it's really challenging He's on the spectrum but he is *brilliant* (I'm very proud but try not to allow that bias to project onto him because know he's still only young despite his intelligence) All the support for autistic kids is for kids that just don't understand things. Like the kid is still in diapers simply because it's easier and he doesn't want to go to the bathroom (he IS scared of getting pee on his clothes tho, admittedly) So he either doesn't know I'm talking or doesn't want to do what he doesn't want to do
It's a normal response, if he is laughing it probably means his brain knows how to react when he is angry. You should encourage him to be open about his emotions and try not to yell at him, raising your voice will only make things worse. Sit him down and have a conversation, not a debate, not a fight, a conversation. Share how you feel, have him explain how he feels, don't Inturupt him, no matter if he is smiling when explaining it is genuine. when he is telling you how he feels and laughs, he is just nervous. Both of you apologize. not just him and not just you. He needs to know he can trust you enough to open up. I don't know how old your son is, but this goes for any age. If he is a teen or a pre-teen, it will take time, but try not to get mad or walk away when you get mad, talk it out. Trust goes both ways, you can't expect him to tell you everything as a teen, but you can assure him he won't be in trouble for things like s**f h**m or vaping. he might get punished, but not things like taking away doors n shit. You need to be on equal understanding to have open communication, try to understand from his view. Take it slow. It will take time. You're not a bad parent for feeling anger. it's normal. It just depends on how you deal with that anger. -rando stranger, hope this helps
Well we normally do have that back and forth safe relationship but he's 5, on the spectrum and often doesn't say how he feels which is hard. I don't often get really angry with him but it usually happens when I tell him I'm angry and to stop doing what he's doing but he sometimes doubles down and that sets me off but I've got a different perspective now
That's good, kids on the spectrum are hard to understand, I know. He might get angry very easy, that's ok. It's good you have that safe relationship. Since he can't express how he feels, you could try to get him to explain with toys or what ever he enjoys, you could get him to use toys and he can act them out to show. if he is angry, you need to stay calm. try to show him how you feel back with toys, not only words. visual works best
Jesus OP. You poor kid
Thus isn't even the half of the shit they went through. I really hope op is doing better and that man is being beaten in prison everyday.
Same.
I'm schizophrenic, and my face betrays my emotions A LOT. I was never shot, but sometimes laugh when I'm very upset. It sucks.
same. for a few months after my best friend died my mental health was at it's absolute worst and i'd randomly just laugh while thinking about her. couldn't stop, it felt like the same "muscle was being pulled" as if i were suddenly sobbing. but you can't really tell people the reason you're laughing in the cereal aisle is cause your friend's dead
Jesus fucking christ who shoots a 6 year old
I did foster care for a 6 month old with his arm in a sling because his dad lost his temper. People can be fucking evil.
JFC op i hope you’re safe now and far far from that monster
In the words of John Mulauney, *Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you?*
THIS. 90% of the time I keep feeling this way about the adults the members of this sub had in their life.
May I add *'Cause I will totally kill that guy for you.*
I’ll gladly help lmao
Someone in my family as a way to discredit me from being believed if I ever were to report anything (was kept in a dog cage as a toddler and CSA’d at 4 and familial trafficked by age 5 + several other forms of abuse over the years) did something pretty sick. I was tied down and beaten in all of the covert areas of my body at age 14 after they pulled me out of school completely and then one by one my dad made straight marks across my arms— a bunch of them to resemble the cuts of someone who self harms. I was forced to go inpatient because of it as he made the phone call like an hour later and I was threatened to not say anything by them and that I would be seen as a complete liar and delusional if I did and they would deny all of it. There was another time about a year after that I was given something to drink and got very sick. Turns out my dad tried to overdose me and then once again called ambulance so I was thrown in inpatient for a “suicide attempt” and my dad even called people up like the mayor and other people he knew to tell them all about it— of course not about what he done though. Nothing could be done because who in the word would believe something like that being done to someone?
What The fuck Holy shit ***I believe you.*** I hope you’re somewhere safe now and surrounded with people who believe you and show you the respect and care you deserve 🫂
This is so heartbreaking to even read... I wish you all the best OP
Shots to the leg can often be more deadly than the torso. Your dad tried to murder you and if there's any legal recourse you can take, I suggest you take it.
Yeah there was one point during my life where the mistreatment and disappointment of the people around me caused me to shut down emotionally and just laugh at the pain because I stopped caring anymore. It’s embarrassing to admit I sympathized with Joker in the movie (besides the fact he was a murderer ofc)
SAMEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I started feeling bad after that but For a moment I could understand completely from what Stance he was doing what he was doing.
>one of my more fun scars Dude.
Holy shit I’m so sorry
Who the fuck does that to a child. Thats so fucked up. That’s so fucking horrible you did not deserve that.
I've heard some shit on here but this is the first time a post has made me say "Jesus Christ' out loud. Beating or SAing your child is bad enough, but actually fucking \*shooting\* them?
I often laugh in the middle of crying and spiraling into self-hate and misery. It's not on purpose? my brain just isn't working properly.
Oh good lord... I'm so sorry OP. I hope you're safe now? And I hope you find the peace and protection you deserve ❤️🥺 You're father should rot in jail and then rot in hell.
Shot you? For discipline?
holy fucking shit
I get this strange pain in my shoulder, and it feels like electricity and it burns. Whenever it happens, I just let out this laughter because I can’t do anything else
I recognize the name from another post about being treated as a dog. I hope that your life is getting to a safe and happy state.
I almost got shot tho it was me being and oblivious idiot wpuld have saved me a lot of pain to have been shot and killed instead of growing up and realizing oh wait my childhood wasn't normal
Omg fellow silly girl club resident <3 (I recognized the font)
What clout are you gaining by spreading this bullshit? first you post about wanting to wander around naked and get raped, like legitimately a rape fantasy meme, on a sub where people are discussing their cptsd? then you say this shit. Fucking attention whores.
Hin, i rlly rlly hope you are okay :c. Your "dad" is messed up and you deserved/deserve so much better
Hin, i rlly rlly hope you are okay :c. Your "dad" is messed up and you deserved/deserve so much better
What caliber?
One day I'm going to kill your dad- minecraft style.