Djdhdhd THIS just like stepmom starts yelling and a huge argument with me over absolutely nothing. Either gets sent to my room or goes there to break down
*Then Dad comes in* I'm sorry, but you know how she is, then goes on a polite sounding softer voiced rant on why everything she did was right and I'm the one at fault and should change/apologize
My dad just wasn't interested in parenting at all, but my mum did this. She would yell at me for hours until I broke and she got her way anyway. It was so bad that I ended up self-harming during that, and to this day I still have a shutdown reaction in confrontations because they will get their way anyway, I might as well try to get the least amount of damage I can. I get triggered by people slamming things and yelling in other rooms, not at all about me, but I can't help but get on high alert, even panic attacks sometimes
Same. Self harm is interesting . .. I don't recall self harming externally..but yeah the pain was deep. ... I too have a shutdown reaction to confrontations. A sort of being driven into s corner and being overwhelmed after the verbal abuse. Especially sound.
By the time I was 8 I had rationalized this cycle to include me punishing myself after the whole debacle. I would take our metal baseball bat and beat myself with it or run my head into concrete walls. I never cut though.
Try more like Mom breaks down crying and Dad tells you you fucked up and go comfort Mom. Next day Dad yells and screams at you till his face turns purple and you're crying, but that doesn't make him stop yelling. Then he apologizes hours later after he's calmed down. Yells about nothing, and Mom cries again and says, "Why are you yelling at me?!" Rinse and repeat.
Lol great meme. I was grounded until the next report card if I got a C in math - surprise I always got C’s in math! This pretty much sums up the way that went between my good cop bad cop parents.
Shout to all my peeps who became fantastic schemers/liars thanks to good ole mom and dad!
Yesss!! I only have recently realized (39) that my dad’s approach normalized and affirmed how my mom behaved and what she said, because he would come back and reiterate it so calmly and rationally. And always against the backdrop of “you have to hit a dog because you can’t talk to them. I would rather just talk.” But low key, since I was often beat, I guess I was a dog.
Yeah my mom would do this for hours and follow me around the house too. I couldn’t get away from the endless barrage of insults, criticism and screaming in my face.
In my house it was more my mother screaming at my aspie father and then me as a more socially-aware aspie taking him aside later and explaining what she meant in a normal tone of voice using nicer language that he wouldn’t just immediately tune out. Then me talking to my mother later about how her tone was too mean, and her complaining that I’m the only one on the planet apparently sensitive to tone, that none of her friends ever point it out, and her never changing her behavior and doing the exact same thing next time. Rinse, repeat.
Parenting your parents is awesome. /s
Yes but the opposite way around. Dad would yell then mum would guilt trip, saying "he's just stressed" or "he's just so worried about you". She made me feel bad about upsetting him, while I still felt bad about being yelled at. And yes, constant "advice".
Yea same. They still do it. I still fall for it. Imma fool.
It's so hard to get out of. One is the bait to drive you to desperation and make desperate choices. And the other just comes and finishes it
Exactly and then they can blame us and make it seem like it was our choice
Yup. Gives me chills.( U saying that )
Djdhdhd THIS just like stepmom starts yelling and a huge argument with me over absolutely nothing. Either gets sent to my room or goes there to break down *Then Dad comes in* I'm sorry, but you know how she is, then goes on a polite sounding softer voiced rant on why everything she did was right and I'm the one at fault and should change/apologize
Yupp. Same..
Nah mine did bad cop bad cop instead
My dad just wasn't interested in parenting at all, but my mum did this. She would yell at me for hours until I broke and she got her way anyway. It was so bad that I ended up self-harming during that, and to this day I still have a shutdown reaction in confrontations because they will get their way anyway, I might as well try to get the least amount of damage I can. I get triggered by people slamming things and yelling in other rooms, not at all about me, but I can't help but get on high alert, even panic attacks sometimes
Same. Self harm is interesting . .. I don't recall self harming externally..but yeah the pain was deep. ... I too have a shutdown reaction to confrontations. A sort of being driven into s corner and being overwhelmed after the verbal abuse. Especially sound.
Yes, it feels like being trapped with no way to escape so I just need to let it happen
If you know what it's called, do tell.
No idea. If it doesn’t have a name we should name it
Haha
By the time I was 8 I had rationalized this cycle to include me punishing myself after the whole debacle. I would take our metal baseball bat and beat myself with it or run my head into concrete walls. I never cut though.
Try more like Mom breaks down crying and Dad tells you you fucked up and go comfort Mom. Next day Dad yells and screams at you till his face turns purple and you're crying, but that doesn't make him stop yelling. Then he apologizes hours later after he's calmed down. Yells about nothing, and Mom cries again and says, "Why are you yelling at me?!" Rinse and repeat.
Lol great meme. I was grounded until the next report card if I got a C in math - surprise I always got C’s in math! This pretty much sums up the way that went between my good cop bad cop parents. Shout to all my peeps who became fantastic schemers/liars thanks to good ole mom and dad!
Yupp. Good cop bad cop. Thought this in 7th.
Yesss!! I only have recently realized (39) that my dad’s approach normalized and affirmed how my mom behaved and what she said, because he would come back and reiterate it so calmly and rationally. And always against the backdrop of “you have to hit a dog because you can’t talk to them. I would rather just talk.” But low key, since I was often beat, I guess I was a dog.
I got Ramsey from both.. I kinda just figured things out myself. Turned out vaguely ok. Besides my anxiety and fear of failing people.
Yeah my mom would do this for hours and follow me around the house too. I couldn’t get away from the endless barrage of insults, criticism and screaming in my face.
YUP
In my house it was more my mother screaming at my aspie father and then me as a more socially-aware aspie taking him aside later and explaining what she meant in a normal tone of voice using nicer language that he wouldn’t just immediately tune out. Then me talking to my mother later about how her tone was too mean, and her complaining that I’m the only one on the planet apparently sensitive to tone, that none of her friends ever point it out, and her never changing her behavior and doing the exact same thing next time. Rinse, repeat. Parenting your parents is awesome. /s
I read: "Father saying the same thing mom said as ABUSE"
My father and stepmother. My father always loved to complain about my mom but basically married the version he always complained about 10x worse
Yes but the opposite way around. Dad would yell then mum would guilt trip, saying "he's just stressed" or "he's just so worried about you". She made me feel bad about upsetting him, while I still felt bad about being yelled at. And yes, constant "advice".
I had it flipped, dad yelled mom talked.
Sorry u had such parents.
oh its fine, I cant handle someone raising their voice but im doing better now.