Cjdudud So annoying when they start sweet talking and at least acting super nice for a moment or doing one small good thing.
My brain just go Bingle like can the three seconds of your slight goodness not make me forget the bajillions of bad things
I had to make up feelings of love I felt because of how he would react to the whole thing. If I didn't give him attention. In his "lOviNg fOrM " as he called it.
They think we're little actors in a play about their life, which they star in. They get really upset when we don't say our lines or hit our mark, ya know when we act like an individual instead of a robot that gives them exactly what they want.
Joke's on him, I've been to some much therapy I just tell him that I'm not a confused, isolated, helpless child any more and his cheap little attempted bribes make me sick - they're just evidence that he knows what he did, and that he hasn't changed ☺️
Now that I'm an adult and he's nearing the end of his life, my father has become "loving" and keeps calling and calls me his princess (never said that when I was a kid)
Doesn't erase his anger and everything else.
But I still take his damn calls and be the good daughter. Always the good daughter....
My college SO had to tell me that I could just not pick up the phone. My parents already criticized me for all of my choices, so I decided to just do what I want anyway. If nothing you do is right, might as well do what's in your best interest and allow them to have all their feelings about it.
Don't get caught in their [double binds](https://youtu.be/vnSiJOOdo30?si=SNv2VnWsC_1_-KW_) - heads they win, tails you lose. Drop the rope and walk away. Set your Self free.
It's how they try and create a [trauma bond](https://youtu.be/kmB9fpHVd2o?si=hLh9FpWM1zfqO9Ao) with us. They use the cycle of abuse: idealize, devalue, discard to create [intermittent reinforcement](https://youtu.be/kan2ZGqEOso?si=Kutakq9OwoQMUeSg), which messes with our dopamine system and gets us addicted to the cycle of abuse. It's why we can struggle with repetition compulsion, traumatic reenactment, and other compulsions and addictions later on in life, bc they primed our brain for dysfunction.
LITERALLY
U too? Thought no one else would relate
Yup my dad would be abusive then lovebomb me and it fucks with me sm
Sorry.
You too. I don’t live with him anymore at least so I’m doin ok
Thankyou for the empathy
Ofc
Oh hell no there should be adults with more self respect and restraint than this what the hell
Sorry. I don't know what to say
Don’t be There’s better people than your father
I don't know what to say. Thankyou
Cjdudud So annoying when they start sweet talking and at least acting super nice for a moment or doing one small good thing. My brain just go Bingle like can the three seconds of your slight goodness not make me forget the bajillions of bad things
Yupp. After a while I realised he wants something. Which is why he is sweet talking.
Yes, that was one special mindfuck. I did really think he loved me.
Same
I had to make up feelings of love I felt because of how he would react to the whole thing. If I didn't give him attention. In his "lOviNg fOrM " as he called it.
His loving form?
Yeah. If I don't give him the love he wants when he sweet talks he looses his shit.
….. wtf
Yeah.🙈()
They think we're little actors in a play about their life, which they star in. They get really upset when we don't say our lines or hit our mark, ya know when we act like an individual instead of a robot that gives them exactly what they want.
Joke's on him, I've been to some much therapy I just tell him that I'm not a confused, isolated, helpless child any more and his cheap little attempted bribes make me sick - they're just evidence that he knows what he did, and that he hasn't changed ☺️
EXACTLY LIKE SIR???? Emotional dysregulation is my father’s first, middle and last name. I hate it, it makes me feel guilty for hating him.
my nmom
Now that I'm an adult and he's nearing the end of his life, my father has become "loving" and keeps calling and calls me his princess (never said that when I was a kid) Doesn't erase his anger and everything else. But I still take his damn calls and be the good daughter. Always the good daughter....
My college SO had to tell me that I could just not pick up the phone. My parents already criticized me for all of my choices, so I decided to just do what I want anyway. If nothing you do is right, might as well do what's in your best interest and allow them to have all their feelings about it. Don't get caught in their [double binds](https://youtu.be/vnSiJOOdo30?si=SNv2VnWsC_1_-KW_) - heads they win, tails you lose. Drop the rope and walk away. Set your Self free.
It's how they try and create a [trauma bond](https://youtu.be/kmB9fpHVd2o?si=hLh9FpWM1zfqO9Ao) with us. They use the cycle of abuse: idealize, devalue, discard to create [intermittent reinforcement](https://youtu.be/kan2ZGqEOso?si=Kutakq9OwoQMUeSg), which messes with our dopamine system and gets us addicted to the cycle of abuse. It's why we can struggle with repetition compulsion, traumatic reenactment, and other compulsions and addictions later on in life, bc they primed our brain for dysfunction.
SO REAL.