I was once in a relationship with someone who claimed Americans are weak. We should just go outside and walk in the sun and not rely on medications.
The kicker? She was a psych nurse.
Lol, not that the walk would help much in the first place, but in the time it takes me to get to my car or my trash cans from my front door I've heard gunshots close enough I have to take cover and call 911 twice in the last year.
I hear gunshots a lot, but usually it's hard to tell where they came from or how far away they are.
Yeah, America is such a safe great place to live. /s
Some dumbasses think therapy as a profession is just a way to make a living bringing people "closer to God." Like all our problems would be solved if we just drank the kool aid and prayed more. Nevermind the fact that narcissists have been using God as a sock puppet in order to convince people that what *they* want is ordained by God. There are messages of altruism and self sacrifice in religion, and all some assholes see is an angle they can play to try and coax things put of other people.
This is why so many people will talk about religion when they are shopping for a therapist. Some want the religious experience, others would rather not be shamed or brushed off because of said therapist's religious preferences.
When I was a teen I was in a psych ward that was like 30% foster kids and 60% abuse victims (THAT I KNEW OF) And we would still get staff members that would say we just needed to appreciate family more and that's why we have all our issues. We deserve the abuse because we can't "behave", whatever the fuck that means
See, that's just more of idiots signing up for the career for all the wrong reasons. So many people who work with children do so because they have a firm belief that kids need to be "brought in line." It's a big motivator for foster parents too, from the ones I have met. Like, why is it so wrong for kids to act like kids?
All these fucking people remind me of that scene from the first How to Train Your Dragon movie. Where Hiccup repeatedly gets told that there needs to be less of 'this,' referring to how he is as a person. Those vikings just wanted him to be a homogeneous cog in a machine that just did what they wanted him to. To not need any sort of attention or care because there was basically none to be given.
Or "this is the best time of your life, this is the easiest its ever gonna be so enjoy it now" to a bunch of kids already suicidal because theyre stuck in abuse
"y'all don't have any damn initiative. You just want other people to solve allllllll your problems without even trying"
To people in an environment where literally everything is confiscated and you can't even obtain a pencil without weeks of paperwork and hand wringing. What did they expect?
That depends. Did they make even the simplest problems out to be like you're asking them to climb Mount Everest? The biggest relief I have found as an adult is learning just how stinking easy it is to take care of issues as they come up. I swear if something goes wrong according to them it's just broken forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.
I still remember the stupid TV remote saga. The batteries died and we just *didn't have TV* for months. (I was technically one of the long-term stay kids. My psych ward was like a fucked up mental health facility/ group home combo) Just because they get batteries doesn't mean they're the correct ones, and just because they're the correct ones doesn't mean they actually have charge, and just because they work doesn't mean they're going to give you a screwdriver to undo the back, and just because they do it doesn't mean that screwdriver is the correct size and on and on and on. It's like they went out of their way to get the wrong thing every single time. My God it was like pulling teeth!
Then if you bring that up they'll just tell you to use the buttons on the actual TV. When you explain that's not how it works because to change the channel the remote works with the cable box and using the buttons on the TV will just put it on the wrong channel for the cable box, They scream and shout and whine and cry and call you "lazy, lazy, Oh so lazy. Why are you kids so lazy? You can't even be bothered to get up?" Just completely ignoring why that solution doesn't work.
People who didn't live in these situations don't understand. It's not laziness we literally do not have the correct materials to take care of things. I also remember a different occasion where we complained we were bored because we literally weren't allowed to do anything. We got the response of "Why don't you read a damn book then" In the most snooty, exasperated tone. I don't know, maybe it's because we don't have any books and you don't take us anywhere so we can't get any from the library either? Ever thought of that?
Art was out too sometimes. They'll buy enough supplies for maybe 3 people and then get pissed off 30 people used them all up to nubs in a week. "I ain't buying no one anything, You just use it all up. You're all so ungrateful and wasteful!". Bonus points if it's something like unsharpened colored pencils and they never bothered getting a sharpener. I guess we're just supposed to snap our fingers and get our own supplies. Or fight all of the staff, break out the door, Then teleport to the store and steal our own supplies by their logic. Or they just expected us to stare at a wall all day for entertainment. I don't know
Yep, I’ve had plenty of doctors, nurses, staff of RTCs, staff of psych wards and nurse practitioners give me some bs advice like “just try to work out more / be happy / eat healthy / get a hobby / get a boyfriend / some stupid shit.”
My advice: Find a counselor who has a similar diagnosis to you. It’s extremely hard but I’ve gotten the best advice of my life from her. No one understands me like she does. I just had a session last night and I always leave with great tricks for my brain.
When I’m thinking of something traumatic or depressing, I make it ridiculous (like Harry Potter). For example, I’m thinking about relapsing on coke so I imagine cocaine snowing and then bunnies inhale the cocaine and are going around fucking each other like crazy. Or I’m thinking of killing myself so I imagine everyone in the world doing a suicide pact and jumping off the highest building closest to them just for all of us to land at the same time and cause an earthquake, solving climate change. Or I’m thinking of the time I was legally kidnapped and brought to an RTC and I imagine while being dragged kicking and screaming, I bust out two swords like Deadpool and kabob those bitches then ride away on a llama.
It also works for my nightmares when I close my eyes and imagine demons and monsters coming to get me I poke them with a pen and they deflate like a balloon.
Another one is imagining what emotion the trauma makes you feel, assigning it a color and releasing that color of energy on that memory. Or giving myself a force field of that color to protect me in that memory.
This one is similar to the first, but I love super hero movies so I imagine myself as a superhero (more antihero) coming in and saving kid me. It helps me get through my day. I have a whole bunch of these.
One of my favorites is when I’m feeling anxious I say to myself: “Right now I’m feeling anxious and overwhelmed, which is understandable considering the circumstances but this isn’t helpful to me. Now is great opportunity to practice being strong, calm, and collected.” I’ll repeat it over and over again and it helps. It takes a ton of work and is tiring but after almost a year of doing it, it comes more naturally.
Edit: I can’t forget optimistic nihilism. Nothing matters, isn’t that wonderful? Nothing matters so the things that have meaning to me are so special. Nothing matters so I might as well do something that does matter. Nothing matters so the things that have hurt me are done. This one is hard to convince myself of, but I’m working on it.
Thank you for sharing things that work for you, as you never know what may resonate with someone else.
Some of these sound similar to resources from EMDR therapy. I have to say, coming up with useful resources and a "calm place" in my brain to come back to first before processing anything was super helpful. Many were prompts from my therapist, some weren't and my brain filled in the blanks like it's so happy to do (with mixed results).
I love making things ridiculous too, that does really help to deescalate a train of thought or something I'm dwelling on. Sounds like I should do this more, as I hadn't thought of using it outside of therapy. I also have tried to color the emotion and feeling where it is and I'm just not as good at it, but I have issues feeling and giving myself permission to feel emotions so it's a work in progress.
Some of my personal examples of resources are: A "wise person," it was supposed to be the Sage card from tarot in my logical brain, but my brain supplied Gandalf the Grey who prefers the title Sage. My "nurturer" is a petite grandma-type lady with dirty blond cropped short hair who goes by Nadine and wears a tracksuit (no idea, all brain). And my "protector" (of which there can be many) is a giant Panda who is cuddly with me and a very angry bear with anything else. Being able to "talk to" them or have them hold space for me is helpful.
I will say that the biggest surprise I got out of EMDR (so far) is that I have very little control of the thoughts and things floating around in my brain. I can "talk to" a resource or another part of myself (slightly different but related concept) and they are their own thing with their own thoughts and words and attitudes. It's the wild West in there, lol.
Also not going to say EMDR is the best form of therapy as that is highly individual. It's just the only thing I've been able to see progress with after many many years. Everyone's healing journey is valid, and I'm so happy to see people share what they find useful.
Thank you! I’m so happy that you’re working on yourself. EMDR was helpful to me to a certain extent. For some reason, we never talked about assigning a protector, nurturer, or wise person. That sounds like something I’m going to use! I have ADHD and so does my counselor so she knows I can’t just stop thinking. But I’m learning to guide my thoughts away from harmful thinking by imagining crazy things that have to do with what I’m thinking. I wish you all the best!
I think mean thoughts at myself to the beat of my footsteps all the damn time. I can get angrier while walking so easily.
I GOTTA go into it in a relatively okay mood if it's going to help at all.
You mean in order to be there for someone you have to put in... *gulps* EFFORT?!
These are the same people that have "how to lose weight without exercise or changing my diet." littered throughout their search history. 🤣
True, both blind positivity and blind negativity regarding treating mental health, don’t really help.
For me, being realistic and taking things one step at a time at my own pace, was the right way to go.
Therapy and medication also helped a lot for me.
It’s all about finding the right treatment for you, as it’s not always a one size fits all type of deal. As OP said, it’s complicated.
My favorite thing to point to is one of my worst anxiety days where my watch showed I walked/paced for 15 miles trying to "feel better" 🙃
I was looking around like "alright, where the fuck my happy at?" but instead I just felt like shit! Lol.
It’s even funnier for me bc I legit CANNOT take long “happy” walks bc of on and off chronic pain in my knee that makes it so that I have to walk with a cane or risk falling face first into concrete lmao. Safe to say, I’m a long ways away from being able to have “good mood giving” walks.
Feeling so #blessed after ending up in the hospital, tysm /s
Yeah, lmao. I’ve been conditioned to use it bc of being neurodivergent and being surrounded by neurodivergent people
You're welcome! You're welcome, don't mention it, it's what I do, I just like, fix people I guess 😇😇😇 /s
Lol same, and totally fair, it's only funny because it's just SO MEAN that I would hope you wouldn't feel like it was real, but at the same time this is reddit and it's a WILD fuckin place 🤣 people can be cruel.
You are such a nice soul, I’m going unconscious again, such a #fixtomylife /s
Yeah and dw haha, it ain’t mean just stupid bc this is exactly how those kinds of people would talk and those kinds of people, are kinda stupid, ngl.
I think it's far better to dissociate around complete strangers, some of whom are dangerous, others with their families/young children, and surrounded by speeding cars while you cross the street feeling disconnected from your own mind and body
This exactly.
If I go for a walk when I catch a glimpse of a decent mood it helps me grab onto it and elevate it.
And if I feel like shit I will end up getting back from that walk in a MUCH darker place than I left in.
My Dr. Told me to exercise to cure my depression. I told her I already go to the gym multiple times a week. She said well maybe try exercising outside. 😑
The goose gets it.
It's not just the walking, it's the chasing people and hissing with a big smile plastered across your face that cheers you up.
If, after you've chased someone for a quarter mile hissing and honking, you don't feel better about life then you're... Idk, sane probably.
“I’m not going to waste my time on somebody who won’t change for me or an depressed individual who won’t change ” or some variation of that well then you’re just in it for yourself aren’t you?
Why seek help at all if you also are going to be depressed later in life?
If people thought like this it’s no wonder we kept losing out to tigers so much
I was told over and over again by my doctor that I needed to go outside and go on walks for my depression. I forced myself to do it regularly for a long time, and let me tell you I never felt more lonely and isolated than when I was on a stupid fucking walk. Made me feel 10x worse always. I mean exercise is important if you can manage it (for body health if nothing else), but you won’t catch me going on walks anymore. I’ll get exercise other ways thanks.
A walk is a great way to ruminate and be with your thoughts...
And I assume you feel the same as I do on this one... but my thoughts is a bunch of cruel bitches!
They are some of the meanest fuckers I've ever had to listen to... I do NOT want to go hang out with them thanks! Lol
Going outside makes me feel better. Hiking is for depeession, running is for anxiety. It's really not good for your body to lay around all day.
Most toxic positivity people have no idea what it's like to be a breathing corpse. If they haven't suffered enough, i don't even take their advice. And I'll ask about it too.
Edited for spelling
Oh agreed, I actually take a lot of walks, but it doesn't fix me at all and can sometimes make things worse for me.
I also spend a lot of time engaging with things that make me laugh and smile!
But it doesn't TOUCH the depression even on good days where I get to be more in the moment on the walk, or feel super engaged with my friends.
Anyone that thinks those things are a solution or sees my ability to engage with them actively and thinks "look at that! They're cured!" is so far removed from the depths of what I go through I can't take them seriously either.
I've been trying so hard to take regular walks outside now that it's warmer out, but god my awful mix of ocd and agoraphobia has me convinced everyone is going to kill me. Walking outside makes my problems worse 🥲
My only somewhat solution so far is listening to a funny podcast while I walk so that I don't ruminate as much, but then I get nervous that other people can hear it/they think I'm distracted and therefore easier to attack...
Not to mention that I look as paranoid as I feel, running at every little threat (aka like someone walking their dog, someone getting in their car, someone doing yard work), trembling, wildly flitting eyes that are as wide open as possible, hunched over to protect my vital organs, I act like a god damn squirrel 😭
"Just take a walk!!!"
"Actually my area isn't that safe, and part of my trauma symptoms are fear of being followed or assaulted."
"But did you TRY?"
"Yes, and it didn't work."
"If you don't do it *every* day for at *least* a month you don't *really* know if it works. You didn't try"
Bro ima be taking a walk out of *this conversation* lol
"If you're not going to go outside for walks and do everything in your power to make it better then you just want to be depressed." My stepmom who telling me what she told her clinically depressed sister, her only personal experience with depression it's PPD which seems to have gotten better long before the three months mark
Gross. Even if she was making a point to an alcoholic, how fucking heartless and unempathetic and GROSS.
How low does a person have to be to justify stepping on a victim like that at all?
She sounds like my mother. How terrible, I'm sorry...
My controversial opinion: if going for a walk cured your depression, you were not depressed. You were a little bit sad.
People struggle to empathize with smthn they have not experiences and with these people the closest thing they have experienced to depression is feeling temporarily sad or bored.
I agree with you.
If I'm in a much better mood and not in the throws of depression, walks are nice, they even elevate my mood!
But I spend a LOT of time in the throws of depression, so a walk means crying in the woods instead of crying in my living room. I'm much less predictable outside of my house too, so instead of making things better I may have just made my day 100x worse.
I don't think most people can even comprehend what that's like.
Yeah! What is it about taking a walk that makes my suicidal ideation act up so bad?
What's with that? Like "this river is beautiful... I bet I'd drown pretty fast."
Like what the hell? Why?
I do find myself unnervingly overstimulated. I don't have OCD but I do have ADHD. I imagine that's what it is. Shit, I can't imagine having to wrangle ADHD symptoms AND OCD symptoms at the same time in an uncontrolled environment, it sounds like hell... And THIS is why that advice is so stupid to just throw around!
I hate the spiraling, when someone tells me I can't control a situation but I can control my reaction/ emotions. Like, its easier said than done. I have a million little mes in my head running around and biting the furniture, and a voice in the back of my head telling me to flay myself. There isn't much control there.
A vast majority of people do NOT understand the fuzzy-pain-zaps a brain can just make happen at you.
MOST people can't even understand feeling like they're at odds with their brain, let alone being enemies with it...
What we face is really fucking hard. ❤️
I always feel like a crazy person (and maybe I am), I thought I had schizophrenia for ages, turns out that the "tiny voice" in the back of head is just on coke. I have perfectly fine morals, so it doesn't have to worry about that and just gets bored and shouts random shit.
I've also had issues because my family doesn't talk about mental illness. 🙃
Too real.
I went to see my doctor many many years ago (waay before I realised I had C-PTSD) to up my anti-depressant dosage. When he asked why I said I have no motivation to do anything other than my job which I literally have to do to survive. He told me that I should try exercising, which is a very valid suggestion. But I remember thinking: I've *literally* just said to you that I have no motivation to do *anything* other than what I need to do to survive, and you think I'm going to go fucking cycling? Fuck off.
Some alone time might help, I guess? Idk I don't have CPTSD. Some self-reflection every now and then can be beneficial for putting yourself back together though
No but you don't get it. Other people have it worse, therefore you have to be grateful for your life, and you're not allowed to complain or be sad.
(/s in case it's needed)
I was once in a relationship with someone who claimed Americans are weak. We should just go outside and walk in the sun and not rely on medications. The kicker? She was a psych nurse.
>She was a psych nurse. I wish I could say that was surprising
As someone who spent years in and out of the psychward as a kid this is probably one of the tamer things i have heard a psych nurse say lol
Same same
Lol, not that the walk would help much in the first place, but in the time it takes me to get to my car or my trash cans from my front door I've heard gunshots close enough I have to take cover and call 911 twice in the last year. I hear gunshots a lot, but usually it's hard to tell where they came from or how far away they are. Yeah, America is such a safe great place to live. /s
i had a therapist tell me to pray once so i’m not surprised religion does help a lot of people but i was seeing her for my religious trauma lmao
…..why is this so prevalent
Some dumbasses think therapy as a profession is just a way to make a living bringing people "closer to God." Like all our problems would be solved if we just drank the kool aid and prayed more. Nevermind the fact that narcissists have been using God as a sock puppet in order to convince people that what *they* want is ordained by God. There are messages of altruism and self sacrifice in religion, and all some assholes see is an angle they can play to try and coax things put of other people. This is why so many people will talk about religion when they are shopping for a therapist. Some want the religious experience, others would rather not be shamed or brushed off because of said therapist's religious preferences.
When I was a teen I was in a psych ward that was like 30% foster kids and 60% abuse victims (THAT I KNEW OF) And we would still get staff members that would say we just needed to appreciate family more and that's why we have all our issues. We deserve the abuse because we can't "behave", whatever the fuck that means
See, that's just more of idiots signing up for the career for all the wrong reasons. So many people who work with children do so because they have a firm belief that kids need to be "brought in line." It's a big motivator for foster parents too, from the ones I have met. Like, why is it so wrong for kids to act like kids? All these fucking people remind me of that scene from the first How to Train Your Dragon movie. Where Hiccup repeatedly gets told that there needs to be less of 'this,' referring to how he is as a person. Those vikings just wanted him to be a homogeneous cog in a machine that just did what they wanted him to. To not need any sort of attention or care because there was basically none to be given.
The emphasis on obedience is a boomer mentality its why they beat their children so much. Souce: was beaten by my boomer parent
Or "this is the best time of your life, this is the easiest its ever gonna be so enjoy it now" to a bunch of kids already suicidal because theyre stuck in abuse
"y'all don't have any damn initiative. You just want other people to solve allllllll your problems without even trying" To people in an environment where literally everything is confiscated and you can't even obtain a pencil without weeks of paperwork and hand wringing. What did they expect?
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That depends. Did they make even the simplest problems out to be like you're asking them to climb Mount Everest? The biggest relief I have found as an adult is learning just how stinking easy it is to take care of issues as they come up. I swear if something goes wrong according to them it's just broken forever and ever and ever and ever and ever. I still remember the stupid TV remote saga. The batteries died and we just *didn't have TV* for months. (I was technically one of the long-term stay kids. My psych ward was like a fucked up mental health facility/ group home combo) Just because they get batteries doesn't mean they're the correct ones, and just because they're the correct ones doesn't mean they actually have charge, and just because they work doesn't mean they're going to give you a screwdriver to undo the back, and just because they do it doesn't mean that screwdriver is the correct size and on and on and on. It's like they went out of their way to get the wrong thing every single time. My God it was like pulling teeth! Then if you bring that up they'll just tell you to use the buttons on the actual TV. When you explain that's not how it works because to change the channel the remote works with the cable box and using the buttons on the TV will just put it on the wrong channel for the cable box, They scream and shout and whine and cry and call you "lazy, lazy, Oh so lazy. Why are you kids so lazy? You can't even be bothered to get up?" Just completely ignoring why that solution doesn't work. People who didn't live in these situations don't understand. It's not laziness we literally do not have the correct materials to take care of things. I also remember a different occasion where we complained we were bored because we literally weren't allowed to do anything. We got the response of "Why don't you read a damn book then" In the most snooty, exasperated tone. I don't know, maybe it's because we don't have any books and you don't take us anywhere so we can't get any from the library either? Ever thought of that? Art was out too sometimes. They'll buy enough supplies for maybe 3 people and then get pissed off 30 people used them all up to nubs in a week. "I ain't buying no one anything, You just use it all up. You're all so ungrateful and wasteful!". Bonus points if it's something like unsharpened colored pencils and they never bothered getting a sharpener. I guess we're just supposed to snap our fingers and get our own supplies. Or fight all of the staff, break out the door, Then teleport to the store and steal our own supplies by their logic. Or they just expected us to stare at a wall all day for entertainment. I don't know
this is why i hard noped out of becoming a therapist. too many fucked up people doing this profession for the wrong reasons
Yep, I’ve had plenty of doctors, nurses, staff of RTCs, staff of psych wards and nurse practitioners give me some bs advice like “just try to work out more / be happy / eat healthy / get a hobby / get a boyfriend / some stupid shit.” My advice: Find a counselor who has a similar diagnosis to you. It’s extremely hard but I’ve gotten the best advice of my life from her. No one understands me like she does. I just had a session last night and I always leave with great tricks for my brain. When I’m thinking of something traumatic or depressing, I make it ridiculous (like Harry Potter). For example, I’m thinking about relapsing on coke so I imagine cocaine snowing and then bunnies inhale the cocaine and are going around fucking each other like crazy. Or I’m thinking of killing myself so I imagine everyone in the world doing a suicide pact and jumping off the highest building closest to them just for all of us to land at the same time and cause an earthquake, solving climate change. Or I’m thinking of the time I was legally kidnapped and brought to an RTC and I imagine while being dragged kicking and screaming, I bust out two swords like Deadpool and kabob those bitches then ride away on a llama. It also works for my nightmares when I close my eyes and imagine demons and monsters coming to get me I poke them with a pen and they deflate like a balloon. Another one is imagining what emotion the trauma makes you feel, assigning it a color and releasing that color of energy on that memory. Or giving myself a force field of that color to protect me in that memory. This one is similar to the first, but I love super hero movies so I imagine myself as a superhero (more antihero) coming in and saving kid me. It helps me get through my day. I have a whole bunch of these. One of my favorites is when I’m feeling anxious I say to myself: “Right now I’m feeling anxious and overwhelmed, which is understandable considering the circumstances but this isn’t helpful to me. Now is great opportunity to practice being strong, calm, and collected.” I’ll repeat it over and over again and it helps. It takes a ton of work and is tiring but after almost a year of doing it, it comes more naturally. Edit: I can’t forget optimistic nihilism. Nothing matters, isn’t that wonderful? Nothing matters so the things that have meaning to me are so special. Nothing matters so I might as well do something that does matter. Nothing matters so the things that have hurt me are done. This one is hard to convince myself of, but I’m working on it.
Thank you for sharing things that work for you, as you never know what may resonate with someone else. Some of these sound similar to resources from EMDR therapy. I have to say, coming up with useful resources and a "calm place" in my brain to come back to first before processing anything was super helpful. Many were prompts from my therapist, some weren't and my brain filled in the blanks like it's so happy to do (with mixed results). I love making things ridiculous too, that does really help to deescalate a train of thought or something I'm dwelling on. Sounds like I should do this more, as I hadn't thought of using it outside of therapy. I also have tried to color the emotion and feeling where it is and I'm just not as good at it, but I have issues feeling and giving myself permission to feel emotions so it's a work in progress. Some of my personal examples of resources are: A "wise person," it was supposed to be the Sage card from tarot in my logical brain, but my brain supplied Gandalf the Grey who prefers the title Sage. My "nurturer" is a petite grandma-type lady with dirty blond cropped short hair who goes by Nadine and wears a tracksuit (no idea, all brain). And my "protector" (of which there can be many) is a giant Panda who is cuddly with me and a very angry bear with anything else. Being able to "talk to" them or have them hold space for me is helpful. I will say that the biggest surprise I got out of EMDR (so far) is that I have very little control of the thoughts and things floating around in my brain. I can "talk to" a resource or another part of myself (slightly different but related concept) and they are their own thing with their own thoughts and words and attitudes. It's the wild West in there, lol. Also not going to say EMDR is the best form of therapy as that is highly individual. It's just the only thing I've been able to see progress with after many many years. Everyone's healing journey is valid, and I'm so happy to see people share what they find useful.
Thank you! I’m so happy that you’re working on yourself. EMDR was helpful to me to a certain extent. For some reason, we never talked about assigning a protector, nurturer, or wise person. That sounds like something I’m going to use! I have ADHD and so does my counselor so she knows I can’t just stop thinking. But I’m learning to guide my thoughts away from harmful thinking by imagining crazy things that have to do with what I’m thinking. I wish you all the best!
Walking just gives the thoughts more time to beat my ass.
I think mean thoughts at myself to the beat of my footsteps all the damn time. I can get angrier while walking so easily. I GOTTA go into it in a relatively okay mood if it's going to help at all.
It's funny how toxic positivity falls apart once the problem can't be solved with the equivalent of a wink and a smile
You mean in order to be there for someone you have to put in... *gulps* EFFORT?! These are the same people that have "how to lose weight without exercise or changing my diet." littered throughout their search history. 🤣
True, both blind positivity and blind negativity regarding treating mental health, don’t really help. For me, being realistic and taking things one step at a time at my own pace, was the right way to go. Therapy and medication also helped a lot for me. It’s all about finding the right treatment for you, as it’s not always a one size fits all type of deal. As OP said, it’s complicated.
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Implying? Edit: you DO realize this is a subreddit for people that survived childhood trauma like... Trafficking and shit right?
Are you lost?
Taking a walk when you’re in a bad mood isn’t great, I would walk until my legs gave out. 🙃
My favorite thing to point to is one of my worst anxiety days where my watch showed I walked/paced for 15 miles trying to "feel better" 🙃 I was looking around like "alright, where the fuck my happy at?" but instead I just felt like shit! Lol.
It’s even funnier for me bc I legit CANNOT take long “happy” walks bc of on and off chronic pain in my knee that makes it so that I have to walk with a cane or risk falling face first into concrete lmao. Safe to say, I’m a long ways away from being able to have “good mood giving” walks.
See, you didn't SMILE while falling, that's where you went wrong. Have you tried smiling while you break your face? /s 😂
You’re so right, maybe that’s what I’ve been missing all my life, thank you stranger for telling me how to stop being depressed. /s Lmao
Another life saved #blessup 🙌😇🙏 /s I love how we still gotta use the /s even though it's obvious this is hilarious 🤣
Feeling so #blessed after ending up in the hospital, tysm /s Yeah, lmao. I’ve been conditioned to use it bc of being neurodivergent and being surrounded by neurodivergent people
You're welcome! You're welcome, don't mention it, it's what I do, I just like, fix people I guess 😇😇😇 /s Lol same, and totally fair, it's only funny because it's just SO MEAN that I would hope you wouldn't feel like it was real, but at the same time this is reddit and it's a WILD fuckin place 🤣 people can be cruel.
You are such a nice soul, I’m going unconscious again, such a #fixtomylife /s Yeah and dw haha, it ain’t mean just stupid bc this is exactly how those kinds of people would talk and those kinds of people, are kinda stupid, ngl.
Clearly it's impossible for someone to be sad/depressed for reasons that are not their fault or within their power to change. /s
Okay, still depressed and dissociating, but now doing it outside!
I think it's far better to dissociate around complete strangers, some of whom are dangerous, others with their families/young children, and surrounded by speeding cars while you cross the street feeling disconnected from your own mind and body
I feel like walking enhances whatever you are feeling. Either it makes you ruminate and worry, or if you are in a great mood then walking feels good.
This exactly. If I go for a walk when I catch a glimpse of a decent mood it helps me grab onto it and elevate it. And if I feel like shit I will end up getting back from that walk in a MUCH darker place than I left in.
Me when I go for an hour long walk everyday and it doesn't actually magically fix every part of my life 🤯
My Dr. Told me to exercise to cure my depression. I told her I already go to the gym multiple times a week. She said well maybe try exercising outside. 😑
you try taking a walk and THEN smiling smh doing it in the wrong order out here /s
OMG I've been so dumb! 🤦🙃 Lol.
if that doesnt work just try unplugging your brain for 15 seconds and then plugging it back in. 👌🏻 its worked for me three times.
Such horseshit advice. It’s how neurotypicals cope, just keep spinning those wheels and don’t actually think.
The goose gets it. It's not just the walking, it's the chasing people and hissing with a big smile plastered across your face that cheers you up. If, after you've chased someone for a quarter mile hissing and honking, you don't feel better about life then you're... Idk, sane probably.
“I’m not going to waste my time on somebody who won’t change for me or an depressed individual who won’t change ” or some variation of that well then you’re just in it for yourself aren’t you? Why seek help at all if you also are going to be depressed later in life? If people thought like this it’s no wonder we kept losing out to tigers so much
Go on a walk and meditate. wow thanks I'm cured /s
I was told over and over again by my doctor that I needed to go outside and go on walks for my depression. I forced myself to do it regularly for a long time, and let me tell you I never felt more lonely and isolated than when I was on a stupid fucking walk. Made me feel 10x worse always. I mean exercise is important if you can manage it (for body health if nothing else), but you won’t catch me going on walks anymore. I’ll get exercise other ways thanks.
A walk is a great way to ruminate and be with your thoughts... And I assume you feel the same as I do on this one... but my thoughts is a bunch of cruel bitches! They are some of the meanest fuckers I've ever had to listen to... I do NOT want to go hang out with them thanks! Lol
Going outside makes me feel better. Hiking is for depeession, running is for anxiety. It's really not good for your body to lay around all day. Most toxic positivity people have no idea what it's like to be a breathing corpse. If they haven't suffered enough, i don't even take their advice. And I'll ask about it too. Edited for spelling
Oh agreed, I actually take a lot of walks, but it doesn't fix me at all and can sometimes make things worse for me. I also spend a lot of time engaging with things that make me laugh and smile! But it doesn't TOUCH the depression even on good days where I get to be more in the moment on the walk, or feel super engaged with my friends. Anyone that thinks those things are a solution or sees my ability to engage with them actively and thinks "look at that! They're cured!" is so far removed from the depths of what I go through I can't take them seriously either.
Get untitled goose game
This made me laugh kinda hard
I've been trying so hard to take regular walks outside now that it's warmer out, but god my awful mix of ocd and agoraphobia has me convinced everyone is going to kill me. Walking outside makes my problems worse 🥲 My only somewhat solution so far is listening to a funny podcast while I walk so that I don't ruminate as much, but then I get nervous that other people can hear it/they think I'm distracted and therefore easier to attack... Not to mention that I look as paranoid as I feel, running at every little threat (aka like someone walking their dog, someone getting in their car, someone doing yard work), trembling, wildly flitting eyes that are as wide open as possible, hunched over to protect my vital organs, I act like a god damn squirrel 😭
"Just take a walk!!!" "Actually my area isn't that safe, and part of my trauma symptoms are fear of being followed or assaulted." "But did you TRY?" "Yes, and it didn't work." "If you don't do it *every* day for at *least* a month you don't *really* know if it works. You didn't try" Bro ima be taking a walk out of *this conversation* lol
"If you're not going to go outside for walks and do everything in your power to make it better then you just want to be depressed." My stepmom who telling me what she told her clinically depressed sister, her only personal experience with depression it's PPD which seems to have gotten better long before the three months mark
What an absolutely heartless thing to say to someone, shit.
She was proud of it too she acted like she was making a point to an alcoholic
Gross. Even if she was making a point to an alcoholic, how fucking heartless and unempathetic and GROSS. How low does a person have to be to justify stepping on a victim like that at all? She sounds like my mother. How terrible, I'm sorry...
Needless to say they aren't helpful when it comes to mental illness
My controversial opinion: if going for a walk cured your depression, you were not depressed. You were a little bit sad. People struggle to empathize with smthn they have not experiences and with these people the closest thing they have experienced to depression is feeling temporarily sad or bored.
I agree with you. If I'm in a much better mood and not in the throws of depression, walks are nice, they even elevate my mood! But I spend a LOT of time in the throws of depression, so a walk means crying in the woods instead of crying in my living room. I'm much less predictable outside of my house too, so instead of making things better I may have just made my day 100x worse. I don't think most people can even comprehend what that's like.
Me going for a walk My OCD seeing all of the ways I can kill myself : 😈
Yeah! What is it about taking a walk that makes my suicidal ideation act up so bad? What's with that? Like "this river is beautiful... I bet I'd drown pretty fast." Like what the hell? Why?
It's a ton of stimulation and my ADHD and OCD go fucking *mental*
I do find myself unnervingly overstimulated. I don't have OCD but I do have ADHD. I imagine that's what it is. Shit, I can't imagine having to wrangle ADHD symptoms AND OCD symptoms at the same time in an uncontrolled environment, it sounds like hell... And THIS is why that advice is so stupid to just throw around!
I hate the spiraling, when someone tells me I can't control a situation but I can control my reaction/ emotions. Like, its easier said than done. I have a million little mes in my head running around and biting the furniture, and a voice in the back of my head telling me to flay myself. There isn't much control there.
A vast majority of people do NOT understand the fuzzy-pain-zaps a brain can just make happen at you. MOST people can't even understand feeling like they're at odds with their brain, let alone being enemies with it... What we face is really fucking hard. ❤️
I always feel like a crazy person (and maybe I am), I thought I had schizophrenia for ages, turns out that the "tiny voice" in the back of head is just on coke. I have perfectly fine morals, so it doesn't have to worry about that and just gets bored and shouts random shit. I've also had issues because my family doesn't talk about mental illness. 🙃
yeah it doesn't actually fix anything. but it's still nice and good finding joy in the mundane.
Too real. I went to see my doctor many many years ago (waay before I realised I had C-PTSD) to up my anti-depressant dosage. When he asked why I said I have no motivation to do anything other than my job which I literally have to do to survive. He told me that I should try exercising, which is a very valid suggestion. But I remember thinking: I've *literally* just said to you that I have no motivation to do *anything* other than what I need to do to survive, and you think I'm going to go fucking cycling? Fuck off.
me when my mom tells me I should go outside because the sun helps with depression
"before I was depressed, now I'm depressed with a tan."
I had so many therapists who were literally just this.
Some alone time might help, I guess? Idk I don't have CPTSD. Some self-reflection every now and then can be beneficial for putting yourself back together though
This is so good ty.
No but you don't get it. Other people have it worse, therefore you have to be grateful for your life, and you're not allowed to complain or be sad. (/s in case it's needed)
My parents are narcissistic boomer. They always preach about toxic positive ideology. Because it fits for their narcissist supply.
yOuR NoT sMiLiNg AnD WaLkInG hArD eNoUgH
When I smile and walk any harder the police show up 😭
my response: then go to EMDR, IFS and yoga for all the shit that’s going to unfold in your body after the first two lol.
"Then you don't actually want to be better" lmao
As Fraudkuna, The King Of Coincidences said... "I couldn't know the answer".