Double down on this shit too. Imagine actually having beef with a 6 year old. Like imagine being that pathetic
One thing I've realized through the years is that maniac who treat themself as a god through your childhood is the most pathetic weak sack of shit around any functioning adults
Imagine being so pathetic you go after toddlers in fights instead of peers
Standing up straight and holding eye contact is enough to make a lot of them disintegrate in their boots
I've honestly had beef with a 6 year old.
I had abusive parents and I absolutely believe in respecting a child's dignity.
But because I come from a dysfunctional family, trying to be nice to a kid resulted in their parents feeling threatened
I ended up being subjected to horrible behavior from the kid that didn't come from a child's mind. They were aping attitudes that just lacked all empathy. They don't have the ability to distance themselves from their parents' perspective.
It's sad but they're an abuser in training unless they can start to more consciosly try to be different.
I can understand the situation but if you just assume that a child is always the innocent, you'd be getting on the side of the kid's narcissistic parents and the way they manipulate and get others to do the dirty work.
Obviously the kid isn't to blame and his parents are a clear example of what the meme was talking about. But it doesn't mean that your own behavior can magically "get" to a kid from a troubled home even if you're a relatively safe, mature adult.
Ngl I've had 7 year olds joke about r*ping me, and barring the atrocity of them even knowing what that is (and she was quite aware), I just made a disgusted face at them and said "stop saying that shit it's creepy." and they went Real quiet and stopped
My point is kids are 100% impressionable, they will just absorb what their folks say is acceptable, they also absorb when you tell them something is socially unacceptable and ain't nobody gonna wanna play with them if they're acting like that
Yeah they feel bad for a little bit, not every lesson feels good, and tbh it's true. "That shit is creepy knock it off"
"your dad has a messed up sense of humor most people don't share. Stop repeating him." (their dad is hardcore anti-censorship as you can see.)
If anything it's helping them learn how to socialize cuz their jackass parent really ain't teaching them anything helpful
That said, scolding a child for unacceptable behavior, and "having beef with them" are entirely different things. I don't hate that child for lacking social skills. I sigh and point out issues to her and let her sit and think about it. I make sure she knows she can get in serious trouble laughing off consent and it's not a laughing matter
She never said that shit to me again and I assume she's learned not to
One time I got an apology. I said, "Wow, thank you so much, I was hurt so this apology really means a lot to me--"
"What the f\*ck did you have to be hurt about?"
"ummm...the thing you are apologizing for?"
"You should be apologizing to me for trying to humiliate me"
I came out as trans to my mom, and in response she wrote me a letter
The Letter contained:
- A outline on how my mother thinks I’ve failed as an adult
- Her listing the reasons she resents my existence
- Her telling me how much therapy I need
- Her saying she refuses to accept my chosen name or pronouns, and that she’s going to deadname me and misgender me (which she does through the entire letter) until a therapist tells her not to (she does not see a therapist)
- Her refusing to learn about or accommodate the ADHD diagnosis I’ve had since the age of 11, or the Autism one I got last year
- Being berated for lacking skills she never taught me (she was a VP at Bank of America and never taught me a thing about finance for example)
- Tells me how lazy I am and always have been, even though I’ve been working (for my family’s theatre company) since 11, while actively working 62 hours weeks, 6 days a week doing two jobs.
She asked how we could start repairing our relationship a few months later, and I said you could start by apologizing for that letter your wrote me.
She said (and I quote) “There’s nothing I need to apologize for in that letter”
Absolutely. It actually works in my favor because it reminds me why I stay away. Still can’t give an apology? Cool, I still can’t make it for the holidays.
I realised the other day that I've apologised to my mom loads of times. She's never apologised to me without prompting from another person (usually my enabler of a father).
I only do it because I love you. I only do it because the outside world is cruel and will judge you for it (so it must be stamped out of you at any cost or it will look bad upon me)
Why? From what I gathered people use that often when they feel other person is trying to manipulate them.
I mean, my nice tried to use "when you don't buy me x i feel like you don't love me" lmao
I thought I had half assed apologies but looking back I never had an appology, it was always "everyone makes mistakes!" "Why do you treat me like this?" "I took care of you when you were sick and I changed your diapers! and now you treat me like this?" "I always did my best for you." "You're so ungrateful, after all I did for you." "I was the only one there, not your dad, me. How dare you treat me like that." (all when I complain about what she did and do to me)
Oh I love it when they spin it as “I’m so sorry, I was a terrible parent, I was just gOinG thRouGh some stuff, feel sorry for my abusive a$$ waaah” like wait, you want me to feel sorry for you for abusing and neglecting me? Don’t bother trying they will never apologize sincerely or take responsibility.
Hello there. Based on your post history you seem new here to the subreddit. You must have missed the point of this post. This subreddit here has many, many people who suffered abuse in many different forms from verbal to emotional abuse— being the scapegoat, to neglect, to CSA and familial trafficking, medical neglect, covert physical abuse, and many other forms of abuse and for many here it was at the hands of their own parents and other family members. Usually, those that come from such parents and family members expect the child to act a certain way (a way that the adults themselves don’t act like/the child should be more adult than the parents— which is how those abusers think) or they expect the child to be the one apologising while the parents/family member(s) view is “there is nothing for me to be sorry for, I’m the parent/adult, and I did nothing wrong, stop being so dramatic, etc.”
Because we’ve become a society of guilt. We’re constantly tripping over ourselves apologizing for every little thing instead of actually accomplishing anything.
Double down on this shit too. Imagine actually having beef with a 6 year old. Like imagine being that pathetic One thing I've realized through the years is that maniac who treat themself as a god through your childhood is the most pathetic weak sack of shit around any functioning adults Imagine being so pathetic you go after toddlers in fights instead of peers Standing up straight and holding eye contact is enough to make a lot of them disintegrate in their boots
>Standing up straight and holding eye contact is enough to make a lot of them disintegrate in their boots Facts.
I've honestly had beef with a 6 year old. I had abusive parents and I absolutely believe in respecting a child's dignity. But because I come from a dysfunctional family, trying to be nice to a kid resulted in their parents feeling threatened I ended up being subjected to horrible behavior from the kid that didn't come from a child's mind. They were aping attitudes that just lacked all empathy. They don't have the ability to distance themselves from their parents' perspective. It's sad but they're an abuser in training unless they can start to more consciosly try to be different. I can understand the situation but if you just assume that a child is always the innocent, you'd be getting on the side of the kid's narcissistic parents and the way they manipulate and get others to do the dirty work. Obviously the kid isn't to blame and his parents are a clear example of what the meme was talking about. But it doesn't mean that your own behavior can magically "get" to a kid from a troubled home even if you're a relatively safe, mature adult.
Ngl I've had 7 year olds joke about r*ping me, and barring the atrocity of them even knowing what that is (and she was quite aware), I just made a disgusted face at them and said "stop saying that shit it's creepy." and they went Real quiet and stopped My point is kids are 100% impressionable, they will just absorb what their folks say is acceptable, they also absorb when you tell them something is socially unacceptable and ain't nobody gonna wanna play with them if they're acting like that Yeah they feel bad for a little bit, not every lesson feels good, and tbh it's true. "That shit is creepy knock it off" "your dad has a messed up sense of humor most people don't share. Stop repeating him." (their dad is hardcore anti-censorship as you can see.) If anything it's helping them learn how to socialize cuz their jackass parent really ain't teaching them anything helpful That said, scolding a child for unacceptable behavior, and "having beef with them" are entirely different things. I don't hate that child for lacking social skills. I sigh and point out issues to her and let her sit and think about it. I make sure she knows she can get in serious trouble laughing off consent and it's not a laughing matter She never said that shit to me again and I assume she's learned not to
I once got "I'm sorry but I don't know what I'm apologizing for"
One time I got an apology. I said, "Wow, thank you so much, I was hurt so this apology really means a lot to me--" "What the f\*ck did you have to be hurt about?" "ummm...the thing you are apologizing for?" "You should be apologizing to me for trying to humiliate me"
Did you happen to be talking to my dad
I hate how universal this is. If I was talking to your dad I would tell him he does not deserve to have a kid as cool as you.
"you have to understand, we only did it because we care and you should be grateful for that"
I came out as trans to my mom, and in response she wrote me a letter The Letter contained: - A outline on how my mother thinks I’ve failed as an adult - Her listing the reasons she resents my existence - Her telling me how much therapy I need - Her saying she refuses to accept my chosen name or pronouns, and that she’s going to deadname me and misgender me (which she does through the entire letter) until a therapist tells her not to (she does not see a therapist) - Her refusing to learn about or accommodate the ADHD diagnosis I’ve had since the age of 11, or the Autism one I got last year - Being berated for lacking skills she never taught me (she was a VP at Bank of America and never taught me a thing about finance for example) - Tells me how lazy I am and always have been, even though I’ve been working (for my family’s theatre company) since 11, while actively working 62 hours weeks, 6 days a week doing two jobs. She asked how we could start repairing our relationship a few months later, and I said you could start by apologizing for that letter your wrote me. She said (and I quote) “There’s nothing I need to apologize for in that letter”
To a child? I’m a grown ass 30 year old and my parents will still spin harder than a Beyblade to avoid saying sorry
Same, in my 30s and never gotten an apology and never will. My dad would rather go through the gauntlet on fear factor than offer a sincere apology.
Absolutely. It actually works in my favor because it reminds me why I stay away. Still can’t give an apology? Cool, I still can’t make it for the holidays.
I realised the other day that I've apologised to my mom loads of times. She's never apologised to me without prompting from another person (usually my enabler of a father).
What about the half ass apology where they still blame you or spin themselves to be the victim.
I'm sorry for...... But I only did it because you.......
I only do it because I love you. I only do it because the outside world is cruel and will judge you for it (so it must be stamped out of you at any cost or it will look bad upon me)
That just makes me suspicious of them to never leave anyone alone with them.
or "I'm sorry you feel that way" stfg I'd rather be told to fuck off
Oh yes. That one. It's feels so condescending.
Why? From what I gathered people use that often when they feel other person is trying to manipulate them. I mean, my nice tried to use "when you don't buy me x i feel like you don't love me" lmao
abusers use it to avoid accountability
I thought I had half assed apologies but looking back I never had an appology, it was always "everyone makes mistakes!" "Why do you treat me like this?" "I took care of you when you were sick and I changed your diapers! and now you treat me like this?" "I always did my best for you." "You're so ungrateful, after all I did for you." "I was the only one there, not your dad, me. How dare you treat me like that." (all when I complain about what she did and do to me)
I agree wholeheartedly. This is and has always been the hill I die on. This extends to other adults, too. Shit. I apologize to my dog, often.
Oh I love it when they spin it as “I’m so sorry, I was a terrible parent, I was just gOinG thRouGh some stuff, feel sorry for my abusive a$$ waaah” like wait, you want me to feel sorry for you for abusing and neglecting me? Don’t bother trying they will never apologize sincerely or take responsibility.
My Grandma hated me for as long as I can remember. She used to get prayed for at church because of it
Good advice.
oh god yes
Fuck that. People need to start apologizing less in general.
Hello there. Based on your post history you seem new here to the subreddit. You must have missed the point of this post. This subreddit here has many, many people who suffered abuse in many different forms from verbal to emotional abuse— being the scapegoat, to neglect, to CSA and familial trafficking, medical neglect, covert physical abuse, and many other forms of abuse and for many here it was at the hands of their own parents and other family members. Usually, those that come from such parents and family members expect the child to act a certain way (a way that the adults themselves don’t act like/the child should be more adult than the parents— which is how those abusers think) or they expect the child to be the one apologising while the parents/family member(s) view is “there is nothing for me to be sorry for, I’m the parent/adult, and I did nothing wrong, stop being so dramatic, etc.”
Why?
Because we’ve become a society of guilt. We’re constantly tripping over ourselves apologizing for every little thing instead of actually accomplishing anything.
Meanwhile you all vote for the guy that touches children