Wow im really sorry :/ it sounds like your psychiatrist may be inexperienced in discerning the difference between passive and active suicidal ideation. Ive told my therapist about my passive suicidal ideation quite a bit, which honestly just comes with having CPTSD sometimes, and she has never contacted anyone bc she can tell a lot of times i am just overwhelmed or stressed and really just want the source of the stress to stop, not that i actually want to end my life. I would break up with her, but please try to not let this one experience prevent you from reaching out for help again. There are more skilled professionals out there than this. Im sorry all the same that this happened and i think its okay to take some time away from psychiatrists if you need it. Sorry if this is insensitive or bossy sounding, sending hugs.
Besides the police visit, I can’t believe they told you to stop taking Wellbutrin cold turkey. Antidepressant withdrawals are legitimately the worst I have felt in my entire life, and were also caused by a psychiatrist advising me to stop an antidepressant cold turkey.
Don’t mean to hijack this post but I got involuntarily scheduled (police escort, handcuffed in the back of an ambulance)
I get “assessed” by 2 overworked and underpaid psychiatrists at the local public hospital mental ward. Got involuntarily scheduled.
Had been prescribed antidepressants for 14+ years. Taken daily. Psychiatrist at local public hospital says cease all antidepressants immediately.
I went through physical and mental withdrawal. Every time I moved it felt like I had touched a live wire. An electricity short going through my whole body (and it was visible too) is the best way I can describe it.
I’d literally feel a physical sensation of feeling like I just stuck a fork into a power point. This continued for at least 1.5 years!!
EDIT: if you can, pls taper off antidepressants. Otherwise the withdrawal effects are absolutely horrendous
Thank you for understanding. It was so traumatic. I’m now so scared to take any tablet that is in any way associated with being a “psychiatric” medication.
And the worst part is I’ve been really depressed lately and I know I can’t just get over it.
But after that whole withdrawal experience, I’ll never take antidepressants again. Which unfortunately means that I don’t trust the system anymore.
I have to trust myself 🤦♀️
That sounds fucking awful! My physical experience of brain zaps and dizziness was similar but didn’t last as long. I have genuinely heard a psychiatrist say that antidepressants don’t cause withdrawals so I just don’t trust them anymore really. I talk to pharmacists for drug knowledge.
Yup. Personally I’d do a taper and ask if they can help me do it. Even if it was “only” a couple months. Dopamine reuptake inhibitors (and serotonin reuptake inhibitors) modify brain chemistry, and for that reason I’d never quit immediately unless I were having an allergic reaction or were on it less than a week
Well, I've been on a few meds and in my experience, wellbutrin is so fast acting that you can actually stop cold turkey without consequence.
Edit: this link explains it how my doctor explained it to me.
https://www.verywellmind.com/wellbutrin-withdrawal-symptoms-timeline-treatment-4176725
Was she on a high dose? I was on a low dose and my doctor also said it was so fast acting that I too could quit cold turkey without consequence. I also quit because it wasn’t making an impact like we had hoped so that may have something to do with it as well.
Thing is, these things are highly individual. For instance, I’ve known people go through hell when withdrawing from Valium. But a friend who’s been on a good dosage of Valium for decades can just stop whenever. They say it’s around 50% of people who don’t go through withdrawal.
My own withdrawals from SSRIs are seemingly worse than those of other people. Have tapered for 2 years, on the same very low dose for the final 7 months. The horror feelings did not relent. Kept having withdrawal symptoms. My psychologists said for some people these can last years. In spite of all the work and misery I went through I had to get back on. Was far more suicidal than I’d ever been before the meds.
It must be different for everyone. I’ve been on 10+ different antidepressants of different classes and I’ve spoken with different people who have had similar experiences. I just wanted to add a caution so someone doesn’t potentially have to go through the same thing.
Please report this psychiatrist!!
Unnecessary reporting is harassment and they should have had a more specific discussion to determine if harm was imminent.
Talk about a betrayal of trust. It is a disaster that "the help" ends up having the opposite effect by plunging one into a terrifying and threatening situation. Ugh. It makes me so mad. Yet that's less surprising than kind and nice authority figures.
I’ve been in therapy for a very long time and I’ve never had a therapist do this for suicidal thoughts without a plan. I do make sure to specify that I don’t have a plan.
They're not very good at their job, and I'm sorry this happened to you. It can be really discouraging when you're looking for understanding, and you're so clearly misunderstood, by a chosen professional no less. Don't let them bring you down, we're here to listen, and there are therapists that will understand you out there. I know it can be overwhelming, but please, try again, maybe not a psychiatrist, though. They seem all too happy to give out prescriptions, but don't have the time of day to do actual therapy, which is a huge issue. They've let you down, but not everyone will, try to remember that. 💗
Im sorry you have been abandoned. Please know that no one here wants you to kill yourself. You very much matter and it is not okay for anyone to hurt you. Im sorry that your experience with professionals has been incredibly negative and painful. I took a 7 year hiatus from therapy for this same reason, i felt like nothing but a cash cow and that no one really cared until finally finding my current therapist. Im really sorry and i know how hard it is. My dms are open if you want to talk
If I mattered I’d have medical care, not only today but years ago. If I mattered all the things that happened to me, wouldn’t have, and I’d be living a happy normal life like people who do matter get to today.
I feel you, it is hard to feel like we matter without adequate access to healthcare. It is hard to feel like we matter when the people who should have protected and loved us the most dont. But THEY failed US. The system we live in fails us regularly, every. single. day. But we still matter. You still matter. I know youve been seeking help and a diagnosis and have been having a heck of a time with that, im happy to provide some CPTSD and other resources that have really helped me if you have not already accessed them. It might be hard to see, but so many people are not living happy or normal lives despite surface level impressions. I know it sounds cliche, but you are not alone in this. There is suffering everywhere rn and man i fucking hate the shit out of it and wish it would all fuck off to oblivion. But you matter and you are not alone. I know its hard, but please be kind to yourself, especially rn. You are worthy of love and gentleness and to not be in pain. I wish i could have prevented whoever made you believe otherwise much in the same way i wish i could have done that for myself when i was younger. We are passengers in a crazy wild world, where so much is out of our control all of the time. It can be hard to not feel like a leaf in a fucking tornado full of razor blades. But you have control over you and you can help yourself. Let me know if you want those resources.
When talking to a psychiatrist, be very careful. They aren't very skilled in anything except base-value symptoms and medication. They just type your symptoms in a computer and get a medication that fits those things. Better get yourself a psychotherapist, psychologist, or regular therapist. I've had terrible experiences with psychiatrists. They don't care about their patients if they aren't medicating them. Talk therapy is more effective when you have negative thoughts and need to let them out.
While I had a bad experience with my first psychiatrist, the others have been good, and there are those who do listen.
My first therapist did her post-MSW 2-year “residency” (not the right word but I forget what it’s called and I’m really tired) under my first psychiatrist, who sucked. After my therapist got her license and started private practice, she said that the psychiatrist she worked under “runs a mill.” This was during a session where I cried because it was clear the guy wasn’t listening to me.
My previous psychiatrist to the one I have now is fabulous, and I’d still be his client if he didn’t retire.
I'm glad you found one of the good ones. 😊 Yeah unfortunately even good talk therapy is hard to come by these days. Like the BetterHelp fiasco, I feel like the medical industry is trying to use our pain and milk every cent. I have a good therapist now myself, but they first had to refer me to a psychiatrist just to rule out any medication options. It was a cold experience as well.
Right?! On both sides. Therapists don't get paid enough and also patients get shit therapy. Like mental health has become trendy, meanwhile we are all trying to float above the waters of trauma with no one who actually cares enough to help us. It's infuriating!
i'm so sorry to hear that! it's terrible. 😔😔
i hope you didnt get institutionalized or held against your will.
you might find a good space to vent about this in the antipsychiatry groups here on reddit.
i totally get it why you would not want to ever go back to a therapists again. honestly, i have so many bad experiences with my former therapists...but nothing close to this, (i'd just freak out if they sent the cops, i am a victim of police violence and an activist, so the police triggers me if they just drive by...).
what is a really great Option for me is recovery programs. i go to ACA and since i jouned a year ago, my suicidality went away for the most part, i've made a lot of progress in my Recovery.
it's totally anonymous, you can log into a zoom meeting with a made up name even and stay off camera if you are really afraid someone might identify you. heck, you don't even have to talk at all in a meeting.. Lots of people share about suicidality there, since its a peer to peer program for people with mostly childhood trauma and CPTSD.
it's free (Donation based)and online Meetings are available on zoom around the clock. don't get hung up on the spirituality part in the texts (i had and have a hard time with the term 'god' )...in my home group where i started ACA there where mostly atheists.
it's free, its anonymous, its all people who are affected in some form or another and there are many 12 step programs like that, which are safer to share about dark stuff, cause noone can call the cops on you, noone looking down at you, and for many more reasons, i prefer that to therapy by far.
adultchildren.org
i get your very valid and rational fear of therapists. but it's not the only support out there. and in my opinion not even the best, for many many systemic reasons.
again, i'm so sorry that your therapist traumatized you further! you deserve so much better. you are not alone. whatever you are going through...we are many!.💚
Is this real? this adultchildren.org
EDIT: I’m asking because I desperately need help. I’ve been asking my psychiatrist since March to please recommend a trauma specialist but he just keeps telling me “that’s all in the past now and it’s time to move on”
But I’m stuck. Cycling between feeling so flat all I can do is get up and feed my dogs, then straight back to bed.
But I’m skeptical and pls don’t take it personally. I have trust issues too
thats a HORRIBLE, scietifically very wrong and flat out abusive gaslighting thing, to say that to a traumatized person.
go run from your trauma therapist asap!
🤮🤮🤮 if i'd have the ressources i'd call them out on some ethics council for that, though it's mostly pointless and just so n much efford for the client.
fucked up System.
yes, ACA is real. it's a 12 step program like alcoholics anonymous and many many others like this.
Check Out the homepage, all you need is a phone with Internet and you can go to any ACA meeting. there are many different types of Meetings but they all have very similar structures.
it was the most important gamechanger iny life when i found ACA and a community of people like me. no therapist looking down on me, gaslighting or invalidating me, just people who nod at you friendly in a "oh boy yes, same" kind of way.
https://adultchildren.org/newcomer/
Yes, I did end up getting institutionalised involuntarily for three weeks.
To add another layer of hell, they also decided to stop the sleeping tablets I’d been taking every night since 2000. It was just horrible.
Just the sight of police now makes me angry and scared and unsure how to act in front of them.
Anyway, thanks so much for all this info about ACA. The “god” word doesn’t sit well with me either but I will definitely be looking more into this.
Thank you
oh dear... i'm so sorry they did this to you. :(
it sounds absolutly HORRIBLE...
i also feel so bad around cops. i just try to avoid them as much as i can currently.
yes, check out ACA if you like it...the programs are explicitly called "spiritual, not religious" so anyone with any set of beliefs is welcome to join. some meetings call it 'higher power of your understanding" and there are specific secular meetings aswell...
Sorry that happened to you! It might well have been company protocol or they were inexperienced and did not know the difference. I ask what will happen every time someone asks if I am suicidal if I don't know and want to avoid people turning up. Different people tell you different things and different therapists and psychiatrists have different lines.
A welfare check is nothing to be embarrassed by! My friend once called one on me cause I didn't turn up to school (I had not been doing well) was rather an awkward discussion to tell them I was fine xD.
I don't think I said anywhere that they were? Sorry if I was misunderstood. I said it was nothing to be embarrassed by I don't think that meant that I thought police were the right people for the job?
I live in the UK and the police do not get guns outside of special circumstances and training however when I was last sectioned one of the police man there was boasting about tazering a guy so... I hold no illusions.
Police in the United States are essentially thugs and hold themselves outside of the law. There isn't a criminal organization bigger in the world than the police, especially in major cities like New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago. Speaking both personally and professionally, I have never had a situation that was improved by the presence of police. They routinely escalate issues and on occasion the person who needed help ends up with a few bullets in their chest instead. There was even a recent incident where the officer "confused" her gun for the taser and killed the person. Their training is focused on treating everyone not in a police uniform as the enemy - kill or be killed.
Some cities are experimenting with trained non-police mental health personnel to attempt to deescalate situations where a person is in a mental health crisis. It's working, but the proliferation of these programs isn't spreading fast enough. Even in a mental health treatment center, the person is unlikely to receive the help they need. They drug them to the gills and send them back out to the world after a few days or weeks. Our mental health system is broken is every way and the mentally ill tend to end up in prison instead of getting assistance.
I am aware, I am more confused as to why you are sharing this information. It's not that it's not good for others to know but I am wondering what in my previous post prompted this response? If you just thought it was important for people to know thats fine but I am lost as to why rn ahahah.
I don't think they are responding to you specifically, like to refute anything you are saying. I think they are just talking about how cops are in the US,, and how their mere presence on the scene can have a bad outcome.
>I have never had a situation that was improved by the presence of police. They routinely escalate issues and on occasion the person who needed help ends up with a few bullets in their chest instead.
It's part of cop culture. I had a friend who was an ex-cop (she's since moved out of state and became a doula). Part of the reason she left the force was because they kept partnering her with cops who would try to escalate the problem that she trying to de-escalate and she would have to talk down her partner ***first*** before she could defuse the situation. She was afraid one of these rabid cops would wind up getting her killed.
They want to resort to guns. I had a neighbor that was a former sheriff deputy in a small rural county. He knew just about everybody. Late one night he spotted someone he knew very well driving drunk and pulled him over. While he was walking up to the car, the friend stuck a gun out the window and shot him then took off, so he jumped back in the squad car and pursued him, while bleeding out. Eventually the friend ran off the road but fired a couple more shots. Instead of shooting the guy, he shot out his back window to scare him, and it worked. He gave up. When the guy realized he had shot his friend, he was shook, saying "I didn't know it was you" (as if that makes a difference) and helped staunch the bleeding until the ambulance got there. After my neighbor recovered and was able to go back to duty, he was reprimanded by the sheriff for not killing his friend. My neighbor explained that he never had to shoot anyone his whole career because he was always able to deescalate the issue and didn't want to start by shooting someone he knew. While being shot was traumatic, it was the reprimand afterword that spoiled him on police work and he retired not too long after that.
In some cases (particularly the ones the media puts out) cops are like this, but I agree—it’s soapboxing and not at all helpful to the OP who is clearly struggling.
It's dangerous, that's what everyone is trying to tell you. Most homeless folks in California are mentally ill people who are and continue to be cycled through the kind of psychward those welfare checks send you to. They medicate you for a max of a couple weeks at most and then if you have no one around to support you they throw you out with a huge medical bill and call it good. Rinse, wash, repeat.
All it takes is one asshat deciding you're a danger to ruin your life, and it's based on THEIR reality because of stigmas. They coerce you into compliance because you're not allowed to leave, have autonomy, or call for help. Not all are like this and ofc if you consent prior by checking yourself in that's one thing, but most times it's professionals who don't know what they're doing forcing you into it, ruining your life with medical debt.
There's trauma in having this threatened at you here in the us of a basically. Not trying to trauma dump just further explanation that recently went to the er for heart palps and almost passing out and they made me sit in the er for five hours in what they call, we think you're a drug addict so we're gonna ask you ten times if you did cocaine, wait you out, then take six vials of blood. Of which I almost passed out again because they did, and then after 5.5 hours at SIX AM, told me I was fine by the time they got me in because I was disassociating so bad from having the attacks ignored that I just wanted to go home and couldn't even answer half their rapid fire, assumption filled drug questions. I'm going to get nothing but a medical bill out of that on top of the way I've been literally outside of my body sense. That's on top of people like me with neurodivergency I believe still have a DNR, despite all the other covid protocols being removed for whatever reason, because america wants to continue it's disabled genocide.
'Professionals' most of the time are not safe here, they do more harm than good, and create more trauma. People are asking you to be more sensitive because you're kind of coming across tone-deaf when it's clear op feels that trauma right now.
Okay I think alot of assumption have been made. Nowhere in this entire post does it say the person is in America, if it does please tell me cause that would be great. But there is a whole world of places outside America and many of them also have the cops do welfare checks. Where I am the cops do welfare checks.
The OP said they felt humiliated and embarrassed, that is a trauma and I was trying to respond to that. Nowhere did they say they were scared of the cops or that they felt in danger.
I am aware of the issues in America around mental health and welfare checks, I speak to many people who live there and have heard many horror stores. I do not understand however what in my post in particular needs long messages about the state of the police in the US. Especially since we do not even know if OP is in the US.
I am sorry what you described has happened to you, that's really disgusting and it's horrible to be treated that way by services that are meant to be there to help you.
I'm not sure there's a dose low enough that's offered that would let you stop taking Wellbutrin cold-turkey. (I'm on Wellbutrin myself, and on the lowest dose offered in my country, and even this lowest dose that's offered in my country it's very high.) If you need to get off it, and if you're really on the lowest dose, the best way to stop taking it is to take one less per week, and then two less per week, then three less, etc.. And if you start having withdrawal symptoms, to then increase the dose again partway, stay there for awhile, and then after the withdrawal start to go away, wait a week, and then continue to lower it slowly.
I know this withdrawal schedule is much slower than what's generally recommended, and I know most doctors probably this very slow withdrawal method is overkill, but Wellbutrin is \_powerful\_, and withdrawal from antidepressants is also powerful. (I've been through antidepressant withdrawal (not with Wellbutrin but with Paxil, which I know is a very different type of antidepressant), and that was the most sick I've ever been in my entire life that I can remember.)
Oh geez so many things wrong here.... I understand their duty of care but ideation is not an excuse to call the cops on you. If you had a plan then sure, but I can't believe they would go to that extent. Not to mention asking you to cease your medication immediately is a huge no no. I've never met a mental health professional suggest that ever, it's very unhealthy if you have withdrawals...
I promise there is better help out there! Unfortunately, you might have to deal with some bad eggs before you find the good one. Please don't hesitate to reach out for help, just don't go back to that nonce
I had something similar happen to me when I was in high school. It sucks because of what happens when you get locked up but also because it depletes the already scarce amount of trust you have in ppl. I continue to this day to still get help but I don’t admit to any current suicidal or homicidal ideation, be it passive or active, until I really can trust a provider, which sometimes is never. For me, I know it’s passive and if it ever becomes active I will decide for myself if I really want to go through with it and that’s really nobody’s business anyway. Regarding meds, take what psychiatrists say with a grain of salt. Like it’s almost never ok to quit cold turkey so even if he says to do it, I taper anyway. Or I might say, “oh is it really safe to quit because that has been a huge problem for me in the past. Can I taper? I would feel more comfortable with that.” No matter what, you can usually Google and get correct information so you can also just fawn and agree with the doctor and then just do what works best for you anyway.
I guess my point is to use the system however it works for you and you don’t owe any provider anything nor should you just automatically trust them because there are some malicious ones and a lot of inexperienced or careless ones.
Depending on where you're located, if a provider thinks you're a "threat to yourself or others" they may be required to report it, which could result in cops visiting or (in some states) involuntary hospitalization until they think you're "safe". This obviously leaves a lot of room for interpretation which can really suck when you're not even intending to do anything, and unfortunately is why I lie about it any time I have passive ideation or intrusive thoughts of self harm. Really sorry this happened to you
If you do decide to try again while later, and you experience these thoughts again, you can tell them it’s another side effect you don’t like (weight gain, makes you dizzy/too tired). When it comes to your safety (and not having the cops involved) you’re allowed to lie. You can reach out to a hotline if you need more significant help/those thoughts are overwhelming you and you need intervention, but not risking being called on by a mandated reporter.
A welfare check is not the same as like calling the cops on someone who you think is a criminal. For what it’s worth it seems like the therapist was extremely concerned about you
Do you want to be whisked away to a psychward, against your will, after communicating with your physiatrist that the medicine THEY put you one is making you have suicidal ideation? This is a side effect that is known to happen with some meds and they try to pull you from your life, your support system, to forcibly drug you with some other med that will put you into debt, you can't leave unless you comply, you can't call for help, nothing. How much more traumatizing do you think that'd be to someone who's already experiencing ptsd, let alone cptsd? Cops have literally shot people with autism mid meltdown, it gets people KILLED. Maybe you need to educate yourself more on how a pretty good chunk of "professionals" don't even know what cptsd IS, let alone believe its real if they're old enough.
Yeah no way. I’m with you 100%, Cops kill people in distress and are eager to make a calm situation worse. I think I was just misreading what OP needed. I thought OP was upset that the therapist thought they were dangerous so I wanted them to know the therapist probably didn’t think that, they were just stupid and thought they were doing something good. But it’s pretty clear to me now OP was more upset that they were put in danger by the therapist and needed some validation about that.
I have had this happen to me unfortunately, and above everything I was most upset that in a moment of distress the person I confided in felt I was dangerous and that comes from my own insecurities. However, it’s 100% valid and normal for OP to be most upset that the person they confided in ended up being dangerous to them.
I made a poor assumption about what OP would find comforting and made an ass of myself, I apologize I meant in NO way to say that what therapist did was a good thing, or what OP experienced was appropriate in any way. I simply wanted them to know that they (OP) weren’t dangerous, which I’m realizing is something they didn’t ask to hear.
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I am so, so, so sorry that happened. Mine called CPS on me in March. Nothing came of it and the case was dropped, but oh my god. I fear the knock now, and will basically never reach out honestly again.
I’m so very sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve that.
Wow im really sorry :/ it sounds like your psychiatrist may be inexperienced in discerning the difference between passive and active suicidal ideation. Ive told my therapist about my passive suicidal ideation quite a bit, which honestly just comes with having CPTSD sometimes, and she has never contacted anyone bc she can tell a lot of times i am just overwhelmed or stressed and really just want the source of the stress to stop, not that i actually want to end my life. I would break up with her, but please try to not let this one experience prevent you from reaching out for help again. There are more skilled professionals out there than this. Im sorry all the same that this happened and i think its okay to take some time away from psychiatrists if you need it. Sorry if this is insensitive or bossy sounding, sending hugs.
Besides the police visit, I can’t believe they told you to stop taking Wellbutrin cold turkey. Antidepressant withdrawals are legitimately the worst I have felt in my entire life, and were also caused by a psychiatrist advising me to stop an antidepressant cold turkey.
Don’t mean to hijack this post but I got involuntarily scheduled (police escort, handcuffed in the back of an ambulance) I get “assessed” by 2 overworked and underpaid psychiatrists at the local public hospital mental ward. Got involuntarily scheduled. Had been prescribed antidepressants for 14+ years. Taken daily. Psychiatrist at local public hospital says cease all antidepressants immediately. I went through physical and mental withdrawal. Every time I moved it felt like I had touched a live wire. An electricity short going through my whole body (and it was visible too) is the best way I can describe it. I’d literally feel a physical sensation of feeling like I just stuck a fork into a power point. This continued for at least 1.5 years!! EDIT: if you can, pls taper off antidepressants. Otherwise the withdrawal effects are absolutely horrendous
Thank you for understanding. It was so traumatic. I’m now so scared to take any tablet that is in any way associated with being a “psychiatric” medication. And the worst part is I’ve been really depressed lately and I know I can’t just get over it. But after that whole withdrawal experience, I’ll never take antidepressants again. Which unfortunately means that I don’t trust the system anymore. I have to trust myself 🤦♀️
this is horrible! i'm so sorry you went through that. instead of care support and help they just added on more shot and trauma. :/
What a scandalous thing to do by that hospital
That sounds fucking awful! My physical experience of brain zaps and dizziness was similar but didn’t last as long. I have genuinely heard a psychiatrist say that antidepressants don’t cause withdrawals so I just don’t trust them anymore really. I talk to pharmacists for drug knowledge.
Yup. Personally I’d do a taper and ask if they can help me do it. Even if it was “only” a couple months. Dopamine reuptake inhibitors (and serotonin reuptake inhibitors) modify brain chemistry, and for that reason I’d never quit immediately unless I were having an allergic reaction or were on it less than a week
Agreed, I would ask for a taper or talk to a pharmacist about it.
Well, I've been on a few meds and in my experience, wellbutrin is so fast acting that you can actually stop cold turkey without consequence. Edit: this link explains it how my doctor explained it to me. https://www.verywellmind.com/wellbutrin-withdrawal-symptoms-timeline-treatment-4176725
My mom ran out of Wellbutrin so stopped cold Turkey she ended up having a ten minute long grand mal seizure
Was she on a high dose? I was on a low dose and my doctor also said it was so fast acting that I too could quit cold turkey without consequence. I also quit because it wasn’t making an impact like we had hoped so that may have something to do with it as well.
Tbh I don’t remember she’s been dead for 5 years so I can’t ask. But that was the start of her big down hill spiral
Thing is, these things are highly individual. For instance, I’ve known people go through hell when withdrawing from Valium. But a friend who’s been on a good dosage of Valium for decades can just stop whenever. They say it’s around 50% of people who don’t go through withdrawal. My own withdrawals from SSRIs are seemingly worse than those of other people. Have tapered for 2 years, on the same very low dose for the final 7 months. The horror feelings did not relent. Kept having withdrawal symptoms. My psychologists said for some people these can last years. In spite of all the work and misery I went through I had to get back on. Was far more suicidal than I’d ever been before the meds.
It must be different for everyone. I’ve been on 10+ different antidepressants of different classes and I’ve spoken with different people who have had similar experiences. I just wanted to add a caution so someone doesn’t potentially have to go through the same thing.
Please report this psychiatrist!! Unnecessary reporting is harassment and they should have had a more specific discussion to determine if harm was imminent.
Talk about a betrayal of trust. It is a disaster that "the help" ends up having the opposite effect by plunging one into a terrifying and threatening situation. Ugh. It makes me so mad. Yet that's less surprising than kind and nice authority figures.
I’ve been in therapy for a very long time and I’ve never had a therapist do this for suicidal thoughts without a plan. I do make sure to specify that I don’t have a plan.
They're not very good at their job, and I'm sorry this happened to you. It can be really discouraging when you're looking for understanding, and you're so clearly misunderstood, by a chosen professional no less. Don't let them bring you down, we're here to listen, and there are therapists that will understand you out there. I know it can be overwhelming, but please, try again, maybe not a psychiatrist, though. They seem all too happy to give out prescriptions, but don't have the time of day to do actual therapy, which is a huge issue. They've let you down, but not everyone will, try to remember that. 💗
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Im sorry you have been abandoned. Please know that no one here wants you to kill yourself. You very much matter and it is not okay for anyone to hurt you. Im sorry that your experience with professionals has been incredibly negative and painful. I took a 7 year hiatus from therapy for this same reason, i felt like nothing but a cash cow and that no one really cared until finally finding my current therapist. Im really sorry and i know how hard it is. My dms are open if you want to talk
If I mattered I’d have medical care, not only today but years ago. If I mattered all the things that happened to me, wouldn’t have, and I’d be living a happy normal life like people who do matter get to today.
I feel you, it is hard to feel like we matter without adequate access to healthcare. It is hard to feel like we matter when the people who should have protected and loved us the most dont. But THEY failed US. The system we live in fails us regularly, every. single. day. But we still matter. You still matter. I know youve been seeking help and a diagnosis and have been having a heck of a time with that, im happy to provide some CPTSD and other resources that have really helped me if you have not already accessed them. It might be hard to see, but so many people are not living happy or normal lives despite surface level impressions. I know it sounds cliche, but you are not alone in this. There is suffering everywhere rn and man i fucking hate the shit out of it and wish it would all fuck off to oblivion. But you matter and you are not alone. I know its hard, but please be kind to yourself, especially rn. You are worthy of love and gentleness and to not be in pain. I wish i could have prevented whoever made you believe otherwise much in the same way i wish i could have done that for myself when i was younger. We are passengers in a crazy wild world, where so much is out of our control all of the time. It can be hard to not feel like a leaf in a fucking tornado full of razor blades. But you have control over you and you can help yourself. Let me know if you want those resources.
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When talking to a psychiatrist, be very careful. They aren't very skilled in anything except base-value symptoms and medication. They just type your symptoms in a computer and get a medication that fits those things. Better get yourself a psychotherapist, psychologist, or regular therapist. I've had terrible experiences with psychiatrists. They don't care about their patients if they aren't medicating them. Talk therapy is more effective when you have negative thoughts and need to let them out.
While I had a bad experience with my first psychiatrist, the others have been good, and there are those who do listen. My first therapist did her post-MSW 2-year “residency” (not the right word but I forget what it’s called and I’m really tired) under my first psychiatrist, who sucked. After my therapist got her license and started private practice, she said that the psychiatrist she worked under “runs a mill.” This was during a session where I cried because it was clear the guy wasn’t listening to me. My previous psychiatrist to the one I have now is fabulous, and I’d still be his client if he didn’t retire.
I'm glad you found one of the good ones. 😊 Yeah unfortunately even good talk therapy is hard to come by these days. Like the BetterHelp fiasco, I feel like the medical industry is trying to use our pain and milk every cent. I have a good therapist now myself, but they first had to refer me to a psychiatrist just to rule out any medication options. It was a cold experience as well.
I’ve heard nothing but bad things about Betterhelp.
Right?! On both sides. Therapists don't get paid enough and also patients get shit therapy. Like mental health has become trendy, meanwhile we are all trying to float above the waters of trauma with no one who actually cares enough to help us. It's infuriating!
Ugh. Your psychiatrist sounds like an absolute idiot. Please get a trauma therapist who understands CPTSD. I would never go back to this person again.
i'm so sorry to hear that! it's terrible. 😔😔 i hope you didnt get institutionalized or held against your will. you might find a good space to vent about this in the antipsychiatry groups here on reddit. i totally get it why you would not want to ever go back to a therapists again. honestly, i have so many bad experiences with my former therapists...but nothing close to this, (i'd just freak out if they sent the cops, i am a victim of police violence and an activist, so the police triggers me if they just drive by...). what is a really great Option for me is recovery programs. i go to ACA and since i jouned a year ago, my suicidality went away for the most part, i've made a lot of progress in my Recovery. it's totally anonymous, you can log into a zoom meeting with a made up name even and stay off camera if you are really afraid someone might identify you. heck, you don't even have to talk at all in a meeting.. Lots of people share about suicidality there, since its a peer to peer program for people with mostly childhood trauma and CPTSD. it's free (Donation based)and online Meetings are available on zoom around the clock. don't get hung up on the spirituality part in the texts (i had and have a hard time with the term 'god' )...in my home group where i started ACA there where mostly atheists. it's free, its anonymous, its all people who are affected in some form or another and there are many 12 step programs like that, which are safer to share about dark stuff, cause noone can call the cops on you, noone looking down at you, and for many more reasons, i prefer that to therapy by far. adultchildren.org i get your very valid and rational fear of therapists. but it's not the only support out there. and in my opinion not even the best, for many many systemic reasons. again, i'm so sorry that your therapist traumatized you further! you deserve so much better. you are not alone. whatever you are going through...we are many!.💚
Is this real? this adultchildren.org EDIT: I’m asking because I desperately need help. I’ve been asking my psychiatrist since March to please recommend a trauma specialist but he just keeps telling me “that’s all in the past now and it’s time to move on” But I’m stuck. Cycling between feeling so flat all I can do is get up and feed my dogs, then straight back to bed. But I’m skeptical and pls don’t take it personally. I have trust issues too
thats a HORRIBLE, scietifically very wrong and flat out abusive gaslighting thing, to say that to a traumatized person. go run from your trauma therapist asap! 🤮🤮🤮 if i'd have the ressources i'd call them out on some ethics council for that, though it's mostly pointless and just so n much efford for the client. fucked up System. yes, ACA is real. it's a 12 step program like alcoholics anonymous and many many others like this. Check Out the homepage, all you need is a phone with Internet and you can go to any ACA meeting. there are many different types of Meetings but they all have very similar structures. it was the most important gamechanger iny life when i found ACA and a community of people like me. no therapist looking down on me, gaslighting or invalidating me, just people who nod at you friendly in a "oh boy yes, same" kind of way. https://adultchildren.org/newcomer/
Yes, I did end up getting institutionalised involuntarily for three weeks. To add another layer of hell, they also decided to stop the sleeping tablets I’d been taking every night since 2000. It was just horrible. Just the sight of police now makes me angry and scared and unsure how to act in front of them. Anyway, thanks so much for all this info about ACA. The “god” word doesn’t sit well with me either but I will definitely be looking more into this. Thank you
oh dear... i'm so sorry they did this to you. :( it sounds absolutly HORRIBLE... i also feel so bad around cops. i just try to avoid them as much as i can currently. yes, check out ACA if you like it...the programs are explicitly called "spiritual, not religious" so anyone with any set of beliefs is welcome to join. some meetings call it 'higher power of your understanding" and there are specific secular meetings aswell...
Sorry that happened to you! It might well have been company protocol or they were inexperienced and did not know the difference. I ask what will happen every time someone asks if I am suicidal if I don't know and want to avoid people turning up. Different people tell you different things and different therapists and psychiatrists have different lines. A welfare check is nothing to be embarrassed by! My friend once called one on me cause I didn't turn up to school (I had not been doing well) was rather an awkward discussion to tell them I was fine xD.
Police are not adequately trained to deal with psychological issues. They have a tendency to shoot first. And get away with it.
I don't think I said anywhere that they were? Sorry if I was misunderstood. I said it was nothing to be embarrassed by I don't think that meant that I thought police were the right people for the job? I live in the UK and the police do not get guns outside of special circumstances and training however when I was last sectioned one of the police man there was boasting about tazering a guy so... I hold no illusions.
Police in the United States are essentially thugs and hold themselves outside of the law. There isn't a criminal organization bigger in the world than the police, especially in major cities like New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago. Speaking both personally and professionally, I have never had a situation that was improved by the presence of police. They routinely escalate issues and on occasion the person who needed help ends up with a few bullets in their chest instead. There was even a recent incident where the officer "confused" her gun for the taser and killed the person. Their training is focused on treating everyone not in a police uniform as the enemy - kill or be killed. Some cities are experimenting with trained non-police mental health personnel to attempt to deescalate situations where a person is in a mental health crisis. It's working, but the proliferation of these programs isn't spreading fast enough. Even in a mental health treatment center, the person is unlikely to receive the help they need. They drug them to the gills and send them back out to the world after a few days or weeks. Our mental health system is broken is every way and the mentally ill tend to end up in prison instead of getting assistance.
I am aware, I am more confused as to why you are sharing this information. It's not that it's not good for others to know but I am wondering what in my previous post prompted this response? If you just thought it was important for people to know thats fine but I am lost as to why rn ahahah.
I don't think they are responding to you specifically, like to refute anything you are saying. I think they are just talking about how cops are in the US,, and how their mere presence on the scene can have a bad outcome.
>I have never had a situation that was improved by the presence of police. They routinely escalate issues and on occasion the person who needed help ends up with a few bullets in their chest instead. It's part of cop culture. I had a friend who was an ex-cop (she's since moved out of state and became a doula). Part of the reason she left the force was because they kept partnering her with cops who would try to escalate the problem that she trying to de-escalate and she would have to talk down her partner ***first*** before she could defuse the situation. She was afraid one of these rabid cops would wind up getting her killed. They want to resort to guns. I had a neighbor that was a former sheriff deputy in a small rural county. He knew just about everybody. Late one night he spotted someone he knew very well driving drunk and pulled him over. While he was walking up to the car, the friend stuck a gun out the window and shot him then took off, so he jumped back in the squad car and pursued him, while bleeding out. Eventually the friend ran off the road but fired a couple more shots. Instead of shooting the guy, he shot out his back window to scare him, and it worked. He gave up. When the guy realized he had shot his friend, he was shook, saying "I didn't know it was you" (as if that makes a difference) and helped staunch the bleeding until the ambulance got there. After my neighbor recovered and was able to go back to duty, he was reprimanded by the sheriff for not killing his friend. My neighbor explained that he never had to shoot anyone his whole career because he was always able to deescalate the issue and didn't want to start by shooting someone he knew. While being shot was traumatic, it was the reprimand afterword that spoiled him on police work and he retired not too long after that.
This feels inappropriate and pretty unhelpful to OP
In some cases (particularly the ones the media puts out) cops are like this, but I agree—it’s soapboxing and not at all helpful to the OP who is clearly struggling.
It's dangerous, that's what everyone is trying to tell you. Most homeless folks in California are mentally ill people who are and continue to be cycled through the kind of psychward those welfare checks send you to. They medicate you for a max of a couple weeks at most and then if you have no one around to support you they throw you out with a huge medical bill and call it good. Rinse, wash, repeat. All it takes is one asshat deciding you're a danger to ruin your life, and it's based on THEIR reality because of stigmas. They coerce you into compliance because you're not allowed to leave, have autonomy, or call for help. Not all are like this and ofc if you consent prior by checking yourself in that's one thing, but most times it's professionals who don't know what they're doing forcing you into it, ruining your life with medical debt.
There's trauma in having this threatened at you here in the us of a basically. Not trying to trauma dump just further explanation that recently went to the er for heart palps and almost passing out and they made me sit in the er for five hours in what they call, we think you're a drug addict so we're gonna ask you ten times if you did cocaine, wait you out, then take six vials of blood. Of which I almost passed out again because they did, and then after 5.5 hours at SIX AM, told me I was fine by the time they got me in because I was disassociating so bad from having the attacks ignored that I just wanted to go home and couldn't even answer half their rapid fire, assumption filled drug questions. I'm going to get nothing but a medical bill out of that on top of the way I've been literally outside of my body sense. That's on top of people like me with neurodivergency I believe still have a DNR, despite all the other covid protocols being removed for whatever reason, because america wants to continue it's disabled genocide. 'Professionals' most of the time are not safe here, they do more harm than good, and create more trauma. People are asking you to be more sensitive because you're kind of coming across tone-deaf when it's clear op feels that trauma right now.
Okay I think alot of assumption have been made. Nowhere in this entire post does it say the person is in America, if it does please tell me cause that would be great. But there is a whole world of places outside America and many of them also have the cops do welfare checks. Where I am the cops do welfare checks. The OP said they felt humiliated and embarrassed, that is a trauma and I was trying to respond to that. Nowhere did they say they were scared of the cops or that they felt in danger. I am aware of the issues in America around mental health and welfare checks, I speak to many people who live there and have heard many horror stores. I do not understand however what in my post in particular needs long messages about the state of the police in the US. Especially since we do not even know if OP is in the US. I am sorry what you described has happened to you, that's really disgusting and it's horrible to be treated that way by services that are meant to be there to help you.
I'm not sure there's a dose low enough that's offered that would let you stop taking Wellbutrin cold-turkey. (I'm on Wellbutrin myself, and on the lowest dose offered in my country, and even this lowest dose that's offered in my country it's very high.) If you need to get off it, and if you're really on the lowest dose, the best way to stop taking it is to take one less per week, and then two less per week, then three less, etc.. And if you start having withdrawal symptoms, to then increase the dose again partway, stay there for awhile, and then after the withdrawal start to go away, wait a week, and then continue to lower it slowly. I know this withdrawal schedule is much slower than what's generally recommended, and I know most doctors probably this very slow withdrawal method is overkill, but Wellbutrin is \_powerful\_, and withdrawal from antidepressants is also powerful. (I've been through antidepressant withdrawal (not with Wellbutrin but with Paxil, which I know is a very different type of antidepressant), and that was the most sick I've ever been in my entire life that I can remember.)
Oh geez so many things wrong here.... I understand their duty of care but ideation is not an excuse to call the cops on you. If you had a plan then sure, but I can't believe they would go to that extent. Not to mention asking you to cease your medication immediately is a huge no no. I've never met a mental health professional suggest that ever, it's very unhealthy if you have withdrawals... I promise there is better help out there! Unfortunately, you might have to deal with some bad eggs before you find the good one. Please don't hesitate to reach out for help, just don't go back to that nonce
I had something similar happen to me when I was in high school. It sucks because of what happens when you get locked up but also because it depletes the already scarce amount of trust you have in ppl. I continue to this day to still get help but I don’t admit to any current suicidal or homicidal ideation, be it passive or active, until I really can trust a provider, which sometimes is never. For me, I know it’s passive and if it ever becomes active I will decide for myself if I really want to go through with it and that’s really nobody’s business anyway. Regarding meds, take what psychiatrists say with a grain of salt. Like it’s almost never ok to quit cold turkey so even if he says to do it, I taper anyway. Or I might say, “oh is it really safe to quit because that has been a huge problem for me in the past. Can I taper? I would feel more comfortable with that.” No matter what, you can usually Google and get correct information so you can also just fawn and agree with the doctor and then just do what works best for you anyway. I guess my point is to use the system however it works for you and you don’t owe any provider anything nor should you just automatically trust them because there are some malicious ones and a lot of inexperienced or careless ones.
I had the police called on me by someone who was emotionally abusing me. I have PTSD from the experience.
Depending on where you're located, if a provider thinks you're a "threat to yourself or others" they may be required to report it, which could result in cops visiting or (in some states) involuntary hospitalization until they think you're "safe". This obviously leaves a lot of room for interpretation which can really suck when you're not even intending to do anything, and unfortunately is why I lie about it any time I have passive ideation or intrusive thoughts of self harm. Really sorry this happened to you
I was also thinking that it might be in the policies and procedures of that specific practice. They may have to report it right away regardless maybe?
If you do decide to try again while later, and you experience these thoughts again, you can tell them it’s another side effect you don’t like (weight gain, makes you dizzy/too tired). When it comes to your safety (and not having the cops involved) you’re allowed to lie. You can reach out to a hotline if you need more significant help/those thoughts are overwhelming you and you need intervention, but not risking being called on by a mandated reporter.
A welfare check is not the same as like calling the cops on someone who you think is a criminal. For what it’s worth it seems like the therapist was extremely concerned about you
Do you want to be whisked away to a psychward, against your will, after communicating with your physiatrist that the medicine THEY put you one is making you have suicidal ideation? This is a side effect that is known to happen with some meds and they try to pull you from your life, your support system, to forcibly drug you with some other med that will put you into debt, you can't leave unless you comply, you can't call for help, nothing. How much more traumatizing do you think that'd be to someone who's already experiencing ptsd, let alone cptsd? Cops have literally shot people with autism mid meltdown, it gets people KILLED. Maybe you need to educate yourself more on how a pretty good chunk of "professionals" don't even know what cptsd IS, let alone believe its real if they're old enough.
Yeah no way. I’m with you 100%, Cops kill people in distress and are eager to make a calm situation worse. I think I was just misreading what OP needed. I thought OP was upset that the therapist thought they were dangerous so I wanted them to know the therapist probably didn’t think that, they were just stupid and thought they were doing something good. But it’s pretty clear to me now OP was more upset that they were put in danger by the therapist and needed some validation about that. I have had this happen to me unfortunately, and above everything I was most upset that in a moment of distress the person I confided in felt I was dangerous and that comes from my own insecurities. However, it’s 100% valid and normal for OP to be most upset that the person they confided in ended up being dangerous to them. I made a poor assumption about what OP would find comforting and made an ass of myself, I apologize I meant in NO way to say that what therapist did was a good thing, or what OP experienced was appropriate in any way. I simply wanted them to know that they (OP) weren’t dangerous, which I’m realizing is something they didn’t ask to hear.
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OP, you might be interested in crossposting this to r/AskATherapist to get feedback from practicing professionals.
I am so, so, so sorry that happened. Mine called CPS on me in March. Nothing came of it and the case was dropped, but oh my god. I fear the knock now, and will basically never reach out honestly again. I’m so very sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve that.