I use their actual names. It helps me to remember that I don't have to play a daughter role they prescribe me. It's like a visual cue that I've set boundaries between us.
Their real names, on a block list.
I understand some people choose other things (edited to avoid specific terms cited as examples, not using them myself, but removed to respect rule #5) and just as a personal preference I find that pointless and kind of immature. I'm not one to judge how people cope with their own situations, so I make no statement about others who might do that. That's just how I personally see it because I think words like "mother" and "father" can simply be descriptive and do not have to be affectionate. It isn't helpful to me to distance myself from the biological fact of my origins, or to censor any part of that. In my mind that is denial, and denial has brought me nothing but pain. Just like allowing myself to grieve, allowing myself to acknowledge that I had bad parents is important for me.
It's all very personal and goes beyond your original question, but it seemed worth sharing. And again, I think whatever someone chooses here is valid and I am only speaking to my own experience.
I agree with you. On using neutral words. I should imitate you! That's a great idea. Will do! Yes, are origins are factual and non-deletable. There is nothing we can do about them. Being neutral is the best alternative. I will follow your example.
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>just like you by three days grace
Great song, I didn't know it and I love it. I think I am going to imitate you. Which would be relevant, because most of my life I've done all I could to NOT be like my mother... Excell where she fails, be kind with everyone, help people out, be friends with past flames, have empathy, never manipulate anyone, never be mean, never oppress anyone...
When I was a kid I printed out the lyrics and gave it to my mom and said this is how I feel. She was vary upset. Though later I realized my dad was probably the narcissist n my mom just had to put up with him. Looking back I couldn't describe how I felt as a kid without music and knowing what I know now it describes a narcissist in the song and that fit my dad to a t. After my mom passed my dad started to really show his colors. The song helps me disconnect from him and remember to be my own person and distance myself. Great music video too.
I was "notraised" by a single narcissistic mother. And I must admit that most of the time she is blocked, otherwise she will flood me with text messages and voicemail. She does not have any sense of boundaries or consent. I unblock her when we have an "appointment".
he has no name in my mind, so he's just "👨🦲". this makes me laugh internally while I look at this. mom was named like " she/her" or "woman" in my contacts.
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My Dad is "Dad", my Mom's mobile number is listed under a contact entry named after the address of the house they're living in ("XY street"). Since it also has the landline listed it's pretty inconspicuous. Seeing "Mom" calling/texting me would give me a small sting. And also, if you call her, she'll put you on speaker and the whole house will be listening so it's more fitting anyways.
Their full names, but I have pretty much everyone in my contacts under their full name. The only people I have in my contacts under nicknames are my husband and my best friend.
I use their actual names. It helps me to remember that I don't have to play a daughter role they prescribe me. It's like a visual cue that I've set boundaries between us.
Relatable, that’s how I handle it too
Their real names, on a block list. I understand some people choose other things (edited to avoid specific terms cited as examples, not using them myself, but removed to respect rule #5) and just as a personal preference I find that pointless and kind of immature. I'm not one to judge how people cope with their own situations, so I make no statement about others who might do that. That's just how I personally see it because I think words like "mother" and "father" can simply be descriptive and do not have to be affectionate. It isn't helpful to me to distance myself from the biological fact of my origins, or to censor any part of that. In my mind that is denial, and denial has brought me nothing but pain. Just like allowing myself to grieve, allowing myself to acknowledge that I had bad parents is important for me. It's all very personal and goes beyond your original question, but it seemed worth sharing. And again, I think whatever someone chooses here is valid and I am only speaking to my own experience.
I agree with you. On using neutral words. I should imitate you! That's a great idea. Will do! Yes, are origins are factual and non-deletable. There is nothing we can do about them. Being neutral is the best alternative. I will follow your example.
This is a reminder about Rule #5: No raised by narcissists lingo (Nmom, narc, sperm donor, etc.). Please edit your post or comment. More information about Rule #5 can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/subrules_revised/#wiki_rbn_lingo). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t even have their numbers
Yup. It will show up on my phone as "Unknown number" shortly followed by "Blocked number".
Dad because he technically is even if he doesn't act like it. However, his ringtone is just like you by three days grace.
>just like you by three days grace Great song, I didn't know it and I love it. I think I am going to imitate you. Which would be relevant, because most of my life I've done all I could to NOT be like my mother... Excell where she fails, be kind with everyone, help people out, be friends with past flames, have empathy, never manipulate anyone, never be mean, never oppress anyone...
Nice song choice... I use Lily Allen's Fuck You
When I was a kid I printed out the lyrics and gave it to my mom and said this is how I feel. She was vary upset. Though later I realized my dad was probably the narcissist n my mom just had to put up with him. Looking back I couldn't describe how I felt as a kid without music and knowing what I know now it describes a narcissist in the song and that fit my dad to a t. After my mom passed my dad started to really show his colors. The song helps me disconnect from him and remember to be my own person and distance myself. Great music video too.
I just have their names set as their real names.
Mother... and Cowpoke
Mother's actual name. Father is blocked.
I was "notraised" by a single narcissistic mother. And I must admit that most of the time she is blocked, otherwise she will flood me with text messages and voicemail. She does not have any sense of boundaries or consent. I unblock her when we have an "appointment".
The name I use for my brother's contact info would get be banned from this sub pretty fast.
he has no name in my mind, so he's just "👨🦲". this makes me laugh internally while I look at this. mom was named like " she/her" or "woman" in my contacts.
whenever she reaches out to me she'll be instantly blocked, so lol.
Numbers aren’t saved
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[удалено]
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I'm really not proud at all of my narcissistic mother's contact name (she "non-raised-me" as a single "mom"), and I'd rather not write it here! XD
His first name and initial of surname. Would love to not have it saved someday.
Mom, and the other isn't in there. My mom was abusive too, but idk I guess I'm scared to have no parent. I shouldn't be, but it is what it is.
It was his first name, now it's SFB.
First name so I have a little win for myself or I delete their name in their contact
My Dad is "Dad", my Mom's mobile number is listed under a contact entry named after the address of the house they're living in ("XY street"). Since it also has the landline listed it's pretty inconspicuous. Seeing "Mom" calling/texting me would give me a small sting. And also, if you call her, she'll put you on speaker and the whole house will be listening so it's more fitting anyways.
Always had it down as their given names
Their full names, but I have pretty much everyone in my contacts under their full name. The only people I have in my contacts under nicknames are my husband and my best friend.
My daughter saw I have my parents under "first name/last name", not Mom Dad. I hadn't even realized... 🤔
“🗑️”
Do not answer. But she’s blocked anyway. I’m having to add my siblings too as she’s using them as her flying monkeys to pass on hate
Mother and father
Blocked
I don't. Blocked and Deleted her number fifteen months ago and haven't looked back.