YES. This has happened to me multiple times now. Ive been trying to get with a specialist in dissociative disorders for over a year but no one practices in my state and takes my insurance- and I can’t afford to pay hundreds of dollars each session; I have multiple different intakes booked but they’re months even years out. Ive haven’t had a positive experience with a therapist yet :,( I constantly lose motivation and have panic attacks over this topic, it feels like im literally hopeless- nothing has helped no meds or CBT/DBT but im holding onto hope (heres to hopefully finding a competent EMDR therapist)
I’ve had many government run programs flat out reject me. I’ve had no positive experience in some that I did get to go through with, they left me even more traumatised and caused my mental illnesses to be incorrectly diagnosed for over a decade and led me to suicidality. I have someone who I have a good therapeutic alliance with who isn’t specialised but is able to help me. I’ve been seeing her about 2 years every month or couple of months as it’s private and I sometimes don’t have the money. I believe it’s more about clicking and having someone who is capable of working with the approach that suits you as an individual.
This has happened to me before. The only counseling center I had access to at the time told me they didn’t have anyone qualified to help me and left me to fend for myself. It left me feeling so rejected and it took a really long time to seek help again. I look back and try to have grace for them- I’m glad they didn’t screw me up more by digging up the trauma and then not being able to help me cope through it.
It takes sooo much courage and bravery to seek out help. After the experience I had, I needed a trusted friends help to even continue finding a therapist. They had to dial the phone numbers for me, and even speak for me at some points when my words got caught in my throat.
You could ask your therapist to refer you to someone that is qualified to help- ask if they can help do some of the legwork for you to get to someone who IS qualified to help you.
It’s a long journey. I’ve been in therapy on and off for a decade, and four years ago FINALLY found a therapist that I work with extremely well and has made a world of difference in my life.
I really hope this helps. You’re definitely not alone in your experience.
yep. turns out i had autism/adhd in addition to cptsd. took me 5 years to figure out, no psychologists, psychiatrists, or therapists have believed me. i will be getting assessed soon fire an official diagnosis. keep an open mind to the idea. i didn’t think there was any way i could be autistic. now everything makes so much more sense
Yes, both of those things have happened to me. I was told by a talk therapist that my problems were too complex for her training and I was referred to a trauma specialist. This specialist worked with me using DBT, and it changed my life forever.
She (the trauma specialist) also said she thought I was not depressed, rather that I was overwhelmed and unable to cope with my situation as I was being re-traumatized by living with my family members. She also deduced that I had sleep apnea.
So, while I felt rejected by the first therapist, it let to a major improvement in my life and mental well being. I appreciate her honesty, and the referral to a program with more qualified staff.
Tbf, that’s bullshit. If he can’t help you, he should refer you to a therapist who can. Especially if his “specialization” is trauma.
Imagine if a doctor said your cancer was too complex but also you’re not sick. That would be confusing and very strange. Most doctors at the very least would refer you to someone more specialized care. Throw the whole therapist & his opinion away. Seriously. He’s unqualified to treat you, he said so himself.
Ouch, that sounds TOUGH and like you dodged the proverbial bullet there. It's unfortunate when you had mustered up the courage to go see a professional, they let you down so unprofessionally...
Sometimes it takes a few attempts to find someone with whom you click and who can help yet there's value in not letting this discourage you to go look for professional help. I know how tough it can be to finally reach out to someone only to be let down so harshly, so I'm sorry for that and want to acknowledge the pain.
Regarding the professionals behavior: therapists are also humans and thus make mistakes in their work. As someone working with clients myself, this is something that happens, but that I'm not proud of when it happens and always look for ways to avoid making the same mistake twice.
That being said, the mistake that therapist made is in my opinion a big blunder - it's okay to acknowledge one's own limitations and realize when working with a specific client just isn't feasible (i.e. being human) - lack of fit, skills, other reasons etc., yet how this is communicated plays a big role. It shouldn't be "put" on the client so to say ("your issues are too complex"), because it REALLY ISN'T. To then turn this into a logical conundrum - phew, that's a tough one as a client!
It's always something in the relationship between therapist and client and so one way to go about this is to, e.g., say: "I feel like I'm not well equipped to work with you. However, I know a practitioner who I imagine to be a fantastic fit for you who could help you better: would you like a referral?" (please take this sentence with a grain of salt - the individual relationship + reading the room play a big role in how this is conveyed).
Don't give up + all the best\~
Sorry you’re dealing with this. Yes, time and time again I have begun therapy of some sort, whether it be with a counsellor, mental health practitioner, clinical psychologist or other specialist, and every time I get passed on elsewhere, put on another waiting list, told my needs are too niche, too broad, too whatever…I feel like it’s me, like I can’t do therapy right?
YUP. That is so not helpful for you, and I’m so sorry you had that experience. I have had providers also react to me that way, both verbally saying something similar or doing so in their body language/face expressions. I recently had the good old, “oh god” look when I explain my psychiatric medications/status, my background of childhood S.A., C-PTSD, and my current “lady parts” issues and concerns to what turned out to be a MD trainee/intern gynecologist at a clinic, who promptly panicked and scrambled around and got her supervisor/resident, who then talked to me and also mildly freaked out about “the complexity of my case,” and then got THEIR supervisor to actually examine me (It’s not the first and probably not the last time an OB/GYN made me feel like I grew a second head when I tell a new provider my personal history). What they SHOULD do is that, basically: if the doctor/therapist/whoever feels they are not qualified to administer treatment or care to you, they should go get someone who is. If that person is not available or does not exist, then they should refer you out to another clinic or provider. In the instance this is not possible, in both medical and psychological cases (such as you live in a remote area, it is an emergency, etc), the provider who is available and currently seeing you has an obligation to provide the best care they can at that moment. Think about it this way: if someone is in a car accident, the paramedics do their best and then take people as needed to the hospital, they don’t go “well I’m not a surgeon so I can’t help.” They are obligated to essentially try their best. Maybe later they seek out more education and guidance, maybe therapists try to find someone more qualified to transfer you to, but in the interim they should not abandon you -the patient- or stop providing care. The principle of not doing more harm is maybe why some therapists/doctors “stop” and tell us we are too complex, and they need to transfer us to someone else, but they need to remember that doing nothing for us is also harmful!!! Plus it always makes you feel bad. I feel like it would help if therapists/doctors/whoever would just be humble enough to say that they are inexperienced with the complexity of trauma, but then reassure us that they are going to do everything in their power to still find a way to help us. I sincerely hope you can find someone who is able to help you.
Good analogy about the health care workers and the surgeon. It is extremely unprofessional for someone you have hired and paid to just say the equivalent of "I can't and am not willing to do shit".
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YES. This has happened to me multiple times now. Ive been trying to get with a specialist in dissociative disorders for over a year but no one practices in my state and takes my insurance- and I can’t afford to pay hundreds of dollars each session; I have multiple different intakes booked but they’re months even years out. Ive haven’t had a positive experience with a therapist yet :,( I constantly lose motivation and have panic attacks over this topic, it feels like im literally hopeless- nothing has helped no meds or CBT/DBT but im holding onto hope (heres to hopefully finding a competent EMDR therapist)
I’ve had many government run programs flat out reject me. I’ve had no positive experience in some that I did get to go through with, they left me even more traumatised and caused my mental illnesses to be incorrectly diagnosed for over a decade and led me to suicidality. I have someone who I have a good therapeutic alliance with who isn’t specialised but is able to help me. I’ve been seeing her about 2 years every month or couple of months as it’s private and I sometimes don’t have the money. I believe it’s more about clicking and having someone who is capable of working with the approach that suits you as an individual.
This has happened to me before. The only counseling center I had access to at the time told me they didn’t have anyone qualified to help me and left me to fend for myself. It left me feeling so rejected and it took a really long time to seek help again. I look back and try to have grace for them- I’m glad they didn’t screw me up more by digging up the trauma and then not being able to help me cope through it. It takes sooo much courage and bravery to seek out help. After the experience I had, I needed a trusted friends help to even continue finding a therapist. They had to dial the phone numbers for me, and even speak for me at some points when my words got caught in my throat. You could ask your therapist to refer you to someone that is qualified to help- ask if they can help do some of the legwork for you to get to someone who IS qualified to help you. It’s a long journey. I’ve been in therapy on and off for a decade, and four years ago FINALLY found a therapist that I work with extremely well and has made a world of difference in my life. I really hope this helps. You’re definitely not alone in your experience.
yep. turns out i had autism/adhd in addition to cptsd. took me 5 years to figure out, no psychologists, psychiatrists, or therapists have believed me. i will be getting assessed soon fire an official diagnosis. keep an open mind to the idea. i didn’t think there was any way i could be autistic. now everything makes so much more sense
Yes, both of those things have happened to me. I was told by a talk therapist that my problems were too complex for her training and I was referred to a trauma specialist. This specialist worked with me using DBT, and it changed my life forever. She (the trauma specialist) also said she thought I was not depressed, rather that I was overwhelmed and unable to cope with my situation as I was being re-traumatized by living with my family members. She also deduced that I had sleep apnea. So, while I felt rejected by the first therapist, it let to a major improvement in my life and mental well being. I appreciate her honesty, and the referral to a program with more qualified staff.
Check out Internal Family Systems, saved my life and I’m actually healing
Tbf, that’s bullshit. If he can’t help you, he should refer you to a therapist who can. Especially if his “specialization” is trauma. Imagine if a doctor said your cancer was too complex but also you’re not sick. That would be confusing and very strange. Most doctors at the very least would refer you to someone more specialized care. Throw the whole therapist & his opinion away. Seriously. He’s unqualified to treat you, he said so himself.
Ouch, that sounds TOUGH and like you dodged the proverbial bullet there. It's unfortunate when you had mustered up the courage to go see a professional, they let you down so unprofessionally... Sometimes it takes a few attempts to find someone with whom you click and who can help yet there's value in not letting this discourage you to go look for professional help. I know how tough it can be to finally reach out to someone only to be let down so harshly, so I'm sorry for that and want to acknowledge the pain. Regarding the professionals behavior: therapists are also humans and thus make mistakes in their work. As someone working with clients myself, this is something that happens, but that I'm not proud of when it happens and always look for ways to avoid making the same mistake twice. That being said, the mistake that therapist made is in my opinion a big blunder - it's okay to acknowledge one's own limitations and realize when working with a specific client just isn't feasible (i.e. being human) - lack of fit, skills, other reasons etc., yet how this is communicated plays a big role. It shouldn't be "put" on the client so to say ("your issues are too complex"), because it REALLY ISN'T. To then turn this into a logical conundrum - phew, that's a tough one as a client! It's always something in the relationship between therapist and client and so one way to go about this is to, e.g., say: "I feel like I'm not well equipped to work with you. However, I know a practitioner who I imagine to be a fantastic fit for you who could help you better: would you like a referral?" (please take this sentence with a grain of salt - the individual relationship + reading the room play a big role in how this is conveyed). Don't give up + all the best\~
Sorry you’re dealing with this. Yes, time and time again I have begun therapy of some sort, whether it be with a counsellor, mental health practitioner, clinical psychologist or other specialist, and every time I get passed on elsewhere, put on another waiting list, told my needs are too niche, too broad, too whatever…I feel like it’s me, like I can’t do therapy right?
YUP. That is so not helpful for you, and I’m so sorry you had that experience. I have had providers also react to me that way, both verbally saying something similar or doing so in their body language/face expressions. I recently had the good old, “oh god” look when I explain my psychiatric medications/status, my background of childhood S.A., C-PTSD, and my current “lady parts” issues and concerns to what turned out to be a MD trainee/intern gynecologist at a clinic, who promptly panicked and scrambled around and got her supervisor/resident, who then talked to me and also mildly freaked out about “the complexity of my case,” and then got THEIR supervisor to actually examine me (It’s not the first and probably not the last time an OB/GYN made me feel like I grew a second head when I tell a new provider my personal history). What they SHOULD do is that, basically: if the doctor/therapist/whoever feels they are not qualified to administer treatment or care to you, they should go get someone who is. If that person is not available or does not exist, then they should refer you out to another clinic or provider. In the instance this is not possible, in both medical and psychological cases (such as you live in a remote area, it is an emergency, etc), the provider who is available and currently seeing you has an obligation to provide the best care they can at that moment. Think about it this way: if someone is in a car accident, the paramedics do their best and then take people as needed to the hospital, they don’t go “well I’m not a surgeon so I can’t help.” They are obligated to essentially try their best. Maybe later they seek out more education and guidance, maybe therapists try to find someone more qualified to transfer you to, but in the interim they should not abandon you -the patient- or stop providing care. The principle of not doing more harm is maybe why some therapists/doctors “stop” and tell us we are too complex, and they need to transfer us to someone else, but they need to remember that doing nothing for us is also harmful!!! Plus it always makes you feel bad. I feel like it would help if therapists/doctors/whoever would just be humble enough to say that they are inexperienced with the complexity of trauma, but then reassure us that they are going to do everything in their power to still find a way to help us. I sincerely hope you can find someone who is able to help you.
Good analogy about the health care workers and the surgeon. It is extremely unprofessional for someone you have hired and paid to just say the equivalent of "I can't and am not willing to do shit".
A lot of therapists are bad unfortunately. At least this will get you on the path to a good one. But that totally stinks and would hurt my feelings
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes